Now, NOW I Have Seen Everything
Darla Vladschyk
Today, whilst shopping at the pet store nearest our family manse, Vlad
uttered a strangled cry and turned to me speechless, helpless.
In his hand was a "toy" for one's "dog" which consisted of a plastic
bottle and a plastic wand with a small hoop at one end. The bottle
was filled with--- wait for it--- "bacon-scented bubbles."
Fun for the whole fam damily!
Here is Reilly after a few hours of trying to "catch" bacon-scented
bubbles on his "tongue."
http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/Reilly.jpg
-=D=-
______________________________________
"Just because people don't understand
you doesn't mean you're
an artist." ---Unknown
.............................................................
http://www.yougotta.com/Darla
.............................................................
"The secret to a long life is red meat
and gin." ---Julia Child, age 90
______________________________________
Ben Allard
> http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/Reilly.jpg
Jerri's dad has reincarnated.
--ben
Darla Vladschyk
Who is "Jerri's dad?" I hope he likes the kibble. And what do I say
to him about the vicious silent farts?
Ben Allard
> Ben Allard <bal...@wpi.edu> wrote:
>
>>DarlaVl...@hotmail.com (Darla Vladschyk) wrote:
>>
>>> http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/Reilly.jpg
>>
>>Jerri's dad has reincarnated.
>
> Who is "Jerri's dad?"
Dear Darla,
I'm sorry you missed the greatest TV show ever. Maybe when Kibo's son buys
the holo-sensory-laser set in 2030 he'll let you borrow it, unless you have
the brain worms.
--ben
This space intentionally left
James Kibo Parry
>
> Today, whilst shopping at the pet store nearest our family manse, Vlad
> uttered a strangled cry and turned to me speechless, helpless.
>
> In his hand was a "toy" for one's "dog" which consisted of a plastic
> bottle and a plastic wand with a small hoop at one end. The bottle
> was filled with--- wait for it--- "bacon-scented bubbles."
Wow! I knew dogs got beef-flavored toothpaste, but I didn't know
they got other wonderful things!
I'm imagining Bob Hope pulling a rope that covers Ann Margaret in bacon suds.
I looked up the bacon bubbles on the Web and found a description at
HappyDogToys.com:
-> Bubble Buddy(tm)
-> Scented bubble-blowing dog toy. Trigger-operated air-bellows mechanism.
-> No batteries required. Includes Sizzlin' Bacon scented bubbles.
-> Peanut Butter and BBQ Chicken scented bubble refills sold separately.
-> Package size and weight: 8" x 13" x 3". 12 oz. Peg presentation.
What? No Artificial Popcorn Butter flavor like those squirt guns I
once saw in Toys R Us came with? Well, I'm sure if they sell well
they'll expand their flavor range. In addition to Sizzlin' Bacon
they could also have Canadian Bacon and BacOs and even Pork Rinds.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the local head shop and secretly
replace the patchouli oil in their aromatherapy warmer thingie with bacon
bubble juice, so that they'll trip out amid a groovy storm of bacon bubbles!
-- K.
Also, I can't wait for new improved
Pepperoni-Flavored Mr. Bubble,
especially if it's demonstrated by a
sexy lady named Peg Presentation.
Mark Hill
> Here is Reilly after a few hours of trying to "catch" bacon-scented
> bubbles on his "tongue."
>
> http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/Reilly.jpg
First person to follow up with a photo of Kibo after he's spent hours
trying to catch bacon-scented bubbles on his tongue wins...
wins..
well, what?
James Vandenberg
Bacon-scented Kibo. Of course.
Ja-comes-in-a-collectors-edition-box-mes
--
James Vandenberg Email: james at vandenberg.dropbear.id.au
GPG FP= 65AB 179A D884 EDC6 216D FE6A 6833 02BC 4425 4F70
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. ICQ: 151135390
Beware! Sometimes forks and candles fall from the sky.
The Avocado Avenger
>Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the local head shop and secretly
>replace the patchouli oil in their aromatherapy warmer thingie with bacon
>bubble juice, so that they'll trip out amid a groovy storm of bacon bubbles!
Even the super megaplex city of Boston has just a head shop and not an
entire head neighborhood? I always thought the lack of head neighborhoods
was a sure sign you were in Kansas. Or at least in Manhattan, Kansas.
Manhattan has one head shop, called "On the Wild Side". Lots of tie-dye
and Yes t-shirts and flourescent posters and incense. And they have a
widdle sex shop called "The Flip Side" which consists of a bunch of body
lotions in the same scents their incense comes in, some round rubber bandy
things which look like black gummy worms who have just eaten marbles --
I'm told these are super futuristic adjustable cock rings -- and a glass
case that houses one (1) eight inch pinky flesh dildo. It's just been
sitting there, in the case, pointing up at the ceiling for about seven
years.
Now, I don't know about you, but the idea of a seven year old dildo
covered in the dust and grime that seeps in between the cracks of this
ancient glass case does not instill me with the desire to shove said dildo
into my cooter in sexual ecstasy.
Oh, by the way, if you're under 18, you can't read this post.
This is the same dildo I mentioned many years ago on this very
newsgroup. And it's still there. It's probably stuck to the shelf. The
plastic film in the window of the box is so old it's fallen out because
the glue dehydrated. People jostle the glass case to see if the stupid
thing will jiggle like jelly and/or Santa's tummy.
It doesn't. I think it's petrified.
This post is all about head.
Stacia * The Avocado Avenger * Life is a tale told by an idiot;
http://world.std.com/~stacia/ * Full of sound and fury,
There is no guacamole anywhere. * Signifying nothing.
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the local head shop and
> > secretly replace the patchouli oil in their aromatherapy warmer
> > thingie with bacon bubble juice, so that they'll trip out amid
> > a groovy storm of bacon bubbles!
>
> Even the super megaplex city of Boston has just a head shop and not an
> entire head neighborhood?
Harvard Square is in Cambridge, not Boston. All the Harvard and MIT
students are stoned all day every day all year, but the more serious
Boston University and Boston College and Emerson College and
Berklee School of Music students are sober sophisticates who would
never smoke pot, watch TV, or wear black.
At Harvard, all the homework is stuff like "Look at a lava lamp while
eating a peach until you understand the peach. Also, grades are for
squares, and if your family asks if we give out grades, tell them
you're part of a bigger family now, called Umwelt."
At Emerson College, it's "Draw a flowchart of these 29 new vowels
we made up in our own secret Masonic alphabet. Then, if you survive
the passage through the grotto of fire, you will be put in control of
Hollywood. Recite the oath now and prepare for the insertion of the
instrument of obedience."
They don't allow drugs in Boston, just funny vowels that look like
they're made from hats and those little hooks from old-time bras.
> I always thought the lack of head neighborhoods was a sure sign you
> were in Kansas. Or at least in Manhattan, Kansas.
I'm pretty sure fun is also disallowed somewhere in Canada.
> Manhattan has one head shop, called "On the Wild Side". Lots of tie-dye
> and Yes t-shirts and flourescent posters and incense. And they have a
> widdle sex shop called "The Flip Side" which consists of a bunch of body
> lotions in the same scents their incense comes in, some round rubber bandy
> things which look like black gummy worms who have just eaten marbles --
> I'm told these are super futuristic adjustable cock rings -- and a glass
> case that houses one (1) eight inch pinky flesh dildo. It's just been
> sitting there, in the case, pointing up at the ceiling for about seven
> years.
> Now, I don't know about you, but the idea of a seven year old dildo
> covered in the dust and grime that seeps in between the cracks of this
> ancient glass case does not instill me with the desire to shove said dildo
> into my cooter in sexual ecstasy.
> Oh, by the way, if you're under 18, you can't read this post.
> This is the same dildo I mentioned many years ago on this very
> newsgroup. And it's still there. It's probably stuck to the shelf. The
> plastic film in the window of the box is so old it's fallen out because
> the glue dehydrated. People jostle the glass case to see if the stupid
> thing will jiggle like jelly and/or Santa's tummy.
> It doesn't. I think it's petrified.
I always wondered where the Spencer Gifts store went when it vanished
from Boston's only shopping mall. Now I know. Do they still have those
flat gift boxes that say "A GIFT FOR A MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING BUT HAIR"
and then inside is printed "HA HA YOU'RE BALD AND I JUST FARTED"?
I miss the wit and wisdom of Spencer Gifts.
After they changed their name and moved to Kansas, did they increase
their stock of blacklight bulbs with filaments shaped like jerkily-
flickering candle flames, or have they discontinued those in favor
of more modern appliances such as those revolving fiber-optic trees that
change color while making grinding noises?
Spencer Gifts, your source for stuff hippies would think was lame if
they had had it back when they had hippies, plus fart jokes and sex toys,
usually rolled into one.
-- K.
And don't forget the toy gumball
machines. All fake hippies want
to be able to sell gumballs.
Nicko
Darla Vladschyk wrote:
> Today, whilst shopping at the pet store nearest our family manse, Vlad
> uttered a strangled cry and turned to me speechless, helpless.
>
> In his hand was a "toy" for one's "dog" which consisted of a plastic
> bottle and a plastic wand with a small hoop at one end. The bottle
> was filled with--- wait for it--- "bacon-scented bubbles."
>
> Fun for the whole fam damily!
>
> Here is Reilly after a few hours of trying to "catch" bacon-scented
> bubbles on his "tongue."
>
> http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/Reilly.jpg
After looking at that photo, Darla, I feel compelled to ask, are you sure
that "strychnine" wasn't listed as one of the ingredients?
--
YOP...
Darla Vladschyk
>> http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/Reilly.jpg
>
>After looking at that photo, Darla, I feel compelled to ask, are you sure
>that "strychnine" wasn't listed as one of the ingredients?
Actually all he was doing was drying himself off on the grass after a
swim in the lake, but the pic is SO adaptable to any number of bizarre
contexts, don't you think?!
-=D=-
________________________________________________________________
"Just because people don't understand you doesn't mean you're an artist."
---Unknown
.............................................................
http://www.yougotta.com/Darla
.............................................................
"The secret to a long life is red meat and gin." ---Julia Child, age 90
________________________________________________________________
Paula
> Nicko <co...@xml.com> wrote:
>
> >> http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/Reilly.jpg
> >
> >After looking at that photo, Darla, I feel compelled to ask, are you sure
> >that "strychnine" wasn't listed as one of the ingredients?
>
> Actually all he was doing was drying himself off on the grass after a
> swim in the lake, but the pic is SO adaptable to any number of bizarre
> contexts, don't you think?!
I thought he looked like he had turned into a rabbit and then died.
Poor Reilly Rabbit!
--
Paula
My lines are too short to netbox with Kibo.
"Nobody is the most beautiful. They just
think they are." ---Mimi, age 4
Otto Bahn
> Manhattan has one head shop, called "On the Wild Side". Lots of tie-dye
> and Yes t-shirts and flourescent posters and incense. And they have a
> widdle sex shop called "The Flip Side" which consists of a bunch of body
> lotions in the same scents their incense comes in, some round rubber bandy
> things which look like black gummy worms who have just eaten marbles --
> I'm told these are super futuristic adjustable cock rings --
The ol' I-have-a-friend-who-... trick, eh?
> and a glass
> case that houses one (1) eight inch pinky flesh dildo. It's just been
> sitting there, in the case, pointing up at the ceiling for about seven
> years.
Worst case of blue balls EVER!
> Now, I don't know about you, but the idea of a seven year old dildo
> covered in the dust and grime that seeps in between the cracks of this
> ancient glass case does not instill me with the desire to shove said dildo
> into my cooter in sexual ecstasy.
I'm surprised no one volunteered to help you.
> Oh, by the way, if you're under 18, you can't read this post.
> This is the same dildo I mentioned many years ago on this very
> newsgroup. And it's still there.
Considering inflation (FNARR), it's probably quite
the bargain by now. Go ahead -- buy it, we all know
you want to. It'd make a great hood ornament for
the car.
> It's probably stuck to the shelf. The
> plastic film in the window of the box is so old it's fallen out because
> the glue dehydrated. People jostle the glass case to see if the stupid
> thing will jiggle like jelly and/or Santa's tummy.
> It doesn't. I think it's petrified.
Thank you for the image of a petrified forest of
dildos.
--oTTo--
I'd be petrified too
Glenn Knickerbocker
> The Avocado Avenger wrote:
> > case that houses one (1) eight inch pinky flesh dildo.
I sincerely hope she meant "fleshy pink," because otherwise that must
have taken a LOT of little fingers to make.
ŹR
Otto Bahn
She doesn't look Japanese to me, so she probably did.
<Looks at his pinky>
Yeah, that's about right. I bet the Yakuzo control
the Japanese dildo market.
--oTTo--
Archimedes Mavranos
<JGA...@CCIS1025.LunchTimeInBosnia.mc.duke.edu> wrote:
>> It's probably stuck to the shelf. The
>> plastic film in the window of the box is so old it's fallen out because
>> the glue dehydrated. People jostle the glass case to see if the stupid
>> thing will jiggle like jelly and/or Santa's tummy.
>> It doesn't. I think it's petrified.
>
>Thank you for the image of a petrified forest of
>dildos.
Take this to talk.origins.
David DeLaney
>On Wed, 21 Aug 2002 13:27:08 -0400, Otto Bahn
>>> plastic film in the window of the box is so old it's fallen out because
>>> the glue dehydrated. People jostle the glass case to see if the stupid
>>> thing will jiggle like jelly and/or Santa's tummy.
>>> It doesn't. I think it's petrified.
>>
>>Thank you for the image of a petrified forest of dildos.
Hivemindy; I didn't know anyone else had been viewing the Icelandic Phallus
Museum pictures.
>Take this to talk.origins.
Dave "take it anywhere, just don't take us late for dinner" DeLaney
PS: Hope Tam's MINIceleARKple is going fine; I am another year older now, but
surprisingly NOT deeper in debt.
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Otto Bahn
>
> Archimedes Mavranos <n...@crack.pot> wrote:
> >On Wed, 21 Aug 2002 13:27:08 -0400, Otto Bahn
> >>> It's probably stuck to the shelf. The
> >>> plastic film in the window of the box is so old it's fallen out because
> >>> the glue dehydrated. People jostle the glass case to see if the stupid
> >>> thing will jiggle like jelly and/or Santa's tummy.
> >>> It doesn't. I think it's petrified.
> >>
> >>Thank you for the image of a petrified forest of dildos.
>
> Hivemindy; I didn't know anyone else had been viewing the Icelandic Phallus
> Museum pictures.
We all can, though many of these dildos may be
dangerous, and some would make decent cudgels:
http://www.ismennt.is/not/phallus/ens.htm
I gotta figure whale penis would make quite the
barbeque and probably wasn't wasted all that often.
At not least when times were tough...
--oTTo--