Jaffo's "Conquests"
L. Shelton Bumgarner
On Sat, 23 Aug 1997 23:50:14 -0500, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
>In alt.religion.kibology, on 23 Aug 1997 14:28:01 -0700, Nick S
>Bensema said:
>
>:Furthermore, I'm going to stop posting about my chyk problems or lack
>:thereof.
>I've talked with just about everybody in this group in private email
>at one time or another, and yes, I "scoped out" all the female
>Kibologists just like every other guy around here.
Hey! I've not done that. I mean, one time I started x-posting
everything I wrote to alt.fan.kia-mennie, but that was just because I
didn't have my own vanity newsfroup.
>Everybody here knows how important politics is to me. Jen has pages
>and pages of political quotes on her page, and she immediately caught
>my interest. She has similar (but not identical) taste in books,
>music, food, movies, etc.
I've actually checked out Jen's page and she does seem to be um, a
little more to the *right* than I am. 8-)
>But, most important, we had very similar VALUES. We had similar
>definitions of right and wrong. We viewed the world through glasses
>of the same color.
Nick 'ole boy, Jaffo never said a more true word. That's why many
lovers began as _friends_ than then go deeper. The thing that sucks is
you don't realize how true these words are until you actually been in
a serious relationship.
>So I went after her. I downloaded ICQ specifically to talk to Jen. I
>fully expected to scare her off. But at that point in time, I didn't
>really care if I scared her off. I had nothing to lose.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" -- Janus
Japlin.
>In addition, let me mention that BOTH of these women are smart enough,
>funny enough, and brave enough to hold their own in any conversation
>with just about any man.
Ie, "chyxs"
>Jennifer and Ellen have talked with each other a bit, and they plan to
>meet in person before too long.
Warning, Warning Will Robertson!
>The point is, it's not necessary to sit around waiting for that
>"perfect person" to come and sweep you off your feet. It's a waste of
>time. You have to put feelers out and make as many friends as you
>can. Maybe one of these friendships will turn romantic, maybe they
>won't.
>And whatever limitations you may have, please remember, I have a few
>of my own. There are no "normal" people in the world.
I used to believe that, I'm not so sure that's true anymore. There are
"normal" people. They were socialized to make friends easier (at least
easier than I was) did all the "normal" things growing up. (I still
believe I pretty much experienced my high school socialization my
first year in college -- it wasn't pretty.)
>Anybody who looks secure at 19 is FAKING IT!
Was anyone here ever able to sit at "the cool table" in high school?
What was it like? What did you think of people like me who were quiet
and walked to fast? (long story) I'm thinking of detailing all the
horrid things that happen to me in high school. Why?
Because I'm one bitter mutha fucker.
lee
--
L. Shelton Bumgarner -- Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
[Please remove "REMOVETHIS" from my email to respond to my posts]
Nattering Nabob of Negativism * http://www.nottowayez.net/~leebum
Nick S Bensema
In article <3401f7c1...@news.onramp.net>,
E.Holmes <eho...@onramp.net> wrote:
>On Sun, 24 Aug 1997, lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net (Lee) wrote:
>
>/On Sat, 23 Aug 1997 23:50:14 -0500, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
>
>/>Jennifer and Ellen have talked with each other a bit, and they plan to
>/>meet in person before too long.
>/
>/Warning, Warning Will Robertson!
>
> Don't be silly. Jen and I are both adults. It isn't as if either
> of us is a ditzy bubblehead of 20 or so. If one of us were, it
> would not be possible to be friends, but I feel very comfortable
> about the idea, and she's given every indication that she does
> also.
So no catfight? damn! :( :(
I've already sold tickets to this thing, and I've already rented the Jell-O
pit!
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> 98-KUPD Red Card Holder #710563
~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now with 95% less sodium!
E.Holmes
On Sun, 24 Aug 1997, lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net (Lee) wrote:
/On Sat, 23 Aug 1997 23:50:14 -0500, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
/>Jennifer and Ellen have talked with each other a bit, and they plan to
/>meet in person before too long.
/
/Warning, Warning Will Robertson!
Don't be silly. Jen and I are both adults. It isn't as if either
of us is a ditzy bubblehead of 20 or so. If one of us were, it
would not be possible to be friends, but I feel very comfortable
about the idea, and she's given every indication that she does
also.
I care deeply for Jaffo, but am fully aware that he and I are
not suited for a long-term relationship. We had a lot in common,
and we loved each other quite deeply, but there were certain
gulfs that could not be bridged. We make great friends, though.
Especially now that the pressure to try and force a romance out
of it is gone.
And because I do care for Jaffo, I am thrilled that he has found
someone that seems so ideally suited to him. With the knowledge
that he is happily involved, I am guiltlessly free to just be
friends. Considering the fact that I wasn't yet over the death of
my husband, you can see why the situation makes me amazingly happy.
I admit that I miss having someone always there for me, but that
has nothing to do with how I feel about Jen, or him, or their love,
or the probability we will all be friends. I am actually looking
forward to her moving down here (if things go right). She and I
have some things in common that might make it a lot of fun. I am
hopeful.
(If I were feeling particularly evil, I'd now make a joke about
group marriages, since I know that the readers won't dare, but I
fear that Jaffo and Jen would both throw things at me if I did.)
<G>
/>And whatever limitations you may have, please remember, I have a few
/>of my own. There are no "normal" people in the world.
/
/I used to believe that, I'm not so sure that's true anymore. There are
/"normal" people. They were socialized to make friends easier (at least
/easier than I was) did all the "normal" things growing up.
What, pray tell, are the "normal" things? I'd bet dollars and
teeth I didn't do a damned thing "normal" growing up, and until
I lost David I was a happy camper. And very successful in my
chosen careers.
I'm with Jaffo. There are no "normal" people in the world. There
are only people with problems different from yours. Who the hell
voted that one set of problems was the "normal" set and everyone
else's wasn't?
/(I still
/believe I pretty much experienced my high school socialization my
/first year in college -- it wasn't pretty.)
People aren't "socialized" to make friends. Some people are just
naturally more outgoing. Lack of social skills is often due to
a natural introversion. This introverted shyness can be overcome,
but I think it requires conscious effort at an adult level.
I had problems from my severe introversion when I was younger, but
did learn how to compensate when I grew up. No one would guess how
shy I am unless I tell them. So I am able to pretend to be bouncy &
outgoing, and I've actually *become* so after pretending so long,
but this doesn't make it any easier to actually Make Friends. It
does make it easier to influence acquaintances. The outgoing person
is generally more successful, since most people prefer to be around
extroverts. It's a skill I'm glad I learned, but it can be tiring. :-)
But as for children, there's nothing sadder than watching some kid
being pushed into social activities by parents that don't understand
the kid doesn't WANT to be class president, but just wants to play
a drum in the band, or whatever.
Lots of people enjoy what they are doing, and don't need to be cock
of the walk to have a good life. In fact, the cock of the walk is
most likely to become a stew.
/>Anybody who looks secure at 19 is FAKING IT!
/
/Was anyone here ever able to sit at "the cool table" in high school?
I was at the hippie table. We were cooler than the cool table
because we were radical activists and wore fatigue jackets and
no underwear and talked about Che Guevarra.
/What was it like? What did you think of people like me who were quiet
/and walked to fast? (long story) I'm thinking of detailing all the
/horrid things that happen to me in high school. Why?
/
/Because I'm one bitter mutha fucker.
Let it *go*, Lee. High school is past. I left that bunch of
snot-nosed babies behind so fast the dust STILL hasn't
settled. Leave it behind and don't look back. Brooding about
the actions of immature children is not productive. I have
blessedly few memories of anything that happened back then,
just a feeling of general disgust with the whole tableau.
Let it go.
E.(living now and in the future)Holmes
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 24 Aug 1997 22:22:00 -0700, Nick S
Bensema said:
:So no catfight? damn! :( :(
:
:I've already sold tickets to this thing, and I've already rented the Jell-O
:pit!
Really? Hang on to it. Just for a little while. <G>
Jaffo
--
Fan: "You understand the concepts of breaking down a human psyche."
JMS: (shrugs) Well, sure...I work for Warner Bros.
Michael Garcia
E.Holmes (eho...@onramp.net) wrote:
: On Mon, 25 Aug 1997 01:49:40 -0500, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
: /In alt.religion.kibology, on 24 Aug 1997 22:22:00 -0700, Nick S
: /Bensema said:
: /
: /:So no catfight? damn! :( :(
: /:
: /:I've already sold tickets to this thing, and I've already rented the Jell-O
: /:pit!
: /
: /Really? Hang on to it. Just for a little while. <G>
: Don't go stirring up trouble now. Everything has been going
: along so swimmingly.
: E.(unless he comes up with the yoghurt, of course)Holmes
: PS I've noticed that guys have this weird fantasy about chyk
: fights. I usually understand guy stuff really well, but
: this one boggles me. Just an observationism.
That and the obsessive love for lesbian sex. That's just weird.
Steph
Nick S Bensema
In article <5tsts7$j7b$1...@nntp2.ba.best.com>,
Michael Garcia <ncc...@best.com> wrote:
>
>That and the obsessive love for lesbian sex. That's just weird.
>
>Steph
Essentially, it causes a feedback loop in the brane which basically will
render any guy as hard as a rock.
Unless they do that stupid teeth-showing lizard tongue swordfight thing.
That is so steeewpid. It ruins the illusion, because you know if someone
does that it's because there's a 300-pound director behind the camera with
chest hair and ten venereal diseases from this week alone, screaming
"I WANT THEM TO _KNOW_ YOU'RE USING YOUR TONGUES!"
It's my official porno movie pet peeve. My real movie pet peeve is that
every time there's a stupid movie that has nothing going for it but hype,
Taco Bell or Burger King have to plaster paraphenelia from that movie
all over the fargin' place. And I don't know who Ann-Margaret is, or
whether her name is hyphenated.
L. Shelton Bumgarner
On 25 Aug 1997 17:43:01 -0700, ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema)
wrote:
>In article <5tsts7$j7b$1...@nntp2.ba.best.com>,
>Michael Garcia <ncc...@best.com> wrote:
>>
>>That and the obsessive love for lesbian sex. That's just weird.
>>
>>Steph
>
>Essentially, it causes a feedback loop in the brane which basically will
>render any guy as hard as a rock.
Hey! No guy talk around the wymins!
L. Shelton Bumgarner
On 25 Aug 1997 13:20:37 GMT, gu...@ncsu.edu (Andrew S. "Gurk" Damick)
wrote:
>In alt.religion.kibology did L. Shelton Bumgarner a stately USENET-post decree:
>
>: Was anyone here ever able to sit at "the cool table" in high school?
>: What was it like? What did you think of people like me who were quiet
>: and walked to fast? (long story) I'm thinking of detailing all the
>: horrid things that happen to me in high school.
>
>I sat at the cool table every so often, but it wasn't so cool, and here's
>why (I can tell this stuff and embellish it with LIES, 'cause I know that
>the people with whom I went to high school don't read USENET any more,
>NATE HILL):
Now that I think about it, I really didn't have a cool "table" to
contend with, so much as a cool "room." (It was difficult to have a
cool table since you never really knew exactly where you'd sit during
mess.)
There was a group at the military academy I went to which I refered to
as "The Blue Room Clique*." It was this mini-lounge type area at the
nexus of the school where all the "cool" people hung out. (Or
spacificly, the alpha-males and their chyxs.) If a mere mortal such as
myself were to sit down there, I would be ignored at best and picked
on at worst.
I often (probably too often) think about what the cool people thought
about _me_. That's what I tried to discover when I _tried_ to go to my
5-year annivsery. I didn't get to go to the parade, which would be the
best chance to see my fellow class of '92 graduates.
lee
*Ironically, I read on my old high school's Website something that led
me to believe that the members of this clique from that time still
communicate.
Sigh.
Michael Garcia
L. Shelton Bumgarner (lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net) wrote:
: On 25 Aug 1997 17:43:01 -0700, ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema)
: wrote:
: >In article <5tsts7$j7b$1...@nntp2.ba.best.com>,
: >Michael Garcia <ncc...@best.com> wrote:
: >>
: >>That and the obsessive love for lesbian sex. That's just weird.
: >>
: >>Steph
: >
: >Essentially, it causes a feedback loop in the brane which basically will
: >render any guy as hard as a rock.
: Hey! No guy talk around the wymins!
: lee
Awww, c'mon, you /know/ we already know it all. That's what they teach us
while you're in gym. :)
Steph
Stefan Kapusniak
In alt.religion.kibology, ncc...@best.com (Michael Garcia) wrote:
>E.Holmes (eho...@onramp.net) wrote:
>: PS I've noticed that guys have this weird fantasy about chyk
>: fights. I usually understand guy stuff really well, but
>: this one boggles me. Just an observationism.
This is due to the fact two or more grrls having sex together
in a vat of yoghurt as public entertainment is ILLEGAL IN
MOST JURISDICTIONS due to it being AN EVIL CORRUPTION OF THE
HOLY SACREMENT OF MARRIAGE, so most of us hetboys compromise
our fantasies in order to not to feel the SICK shame of being
_ABNORMALLY_[1] perverse and UNWHOLESOME, or avoid the expectation
of having our heads blown off with a shotgun by enraged AMAZONS[2]
of JUSTIFIED FEMALE MIGHT or any passing MORAL MAJORITIES
<dick sargeant>
'Hey I'm just a regular guy, and I think you're both so great I'd
really to like to watch y'all have sex which each other in a vat
of Jello.'
</dick sargeant>
*WHAP* *WHAP* *KABOOOM*
<beavis>
'CATFIGHT!!!!111!!!'
</beavis>
'immature jerk!'
>
>That and the obsessive love for lesbian sex. That's just weird.
>
Ummm, remember we hetboys' gay natures have suffered total
failure[3] here, so any guy having sex is just so much wasted
space from a TOUCH THE MAXIMAL RIPPLES OF SENSUOUSNESS RUNNING
THROUGH YOUR SOUL, MONKEYBOY[4] point of view.
Besides MEN ARE SCARY, MEN ARE ANGRY, MEN KICK SAND IN YOUR
FACE ON BEACHES, MEN CANNOT SNUGGLE OR LAUGH EXPECT AT JOKES
THAT ARE SICK! SICK! SICK! AND THEY HAVE TO BE THE 'STRONG'
ALL THE TIME OR OUR FATHERS' GHOSTS WILL SNEER AT US.
THEY DON'T GIVE SOFT *FLUFFTY CUDDLEZ*, WE HATE MEN!
Lesbians being WOMEN, can do all that touchy feely emotional
stuff for each other whilst _retaining face and credibility_,
and still beat off the invading alien hordes through their
superior skill with edged weapons, _still_ having time
for a sensual and romantic breakfast scene where they weep
with joy at the beauty of the dawn.
MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS, IT SAYS SO IN THE CONTRACT.
IHBT! HTH!
--
[1] Being _normally_ perverse and unwholesome doesn't generate
nearly so much shame and angst, of course.
[2] I always wondered whether that did anything to their balance.
[3] Booooooo! Hisssssssssss!
[4] Remember that thar erection is just an 'outward and visible
sign, of inward and invisible grace' <--- ASK YOUR LOCAL
SUPREME PONTIFF FOR CONFIRMATION
Nick S Bensema
In article <913ECF28ED0EBD3E.46F79282...@library-proxy.airnews.net>,
L. Shelton Bumgarner <lee...@nottowayez.net> wrote:
>On Tue, 26 Aug 1997 08:42:44 +0100, stefan...@zetnet.co.uk (Stefan
>Kapusniak) wrote:
>
>>
>> This is due to the fact two or more grrls having sex together
>
>see another guy's willie.
well on cable TV, they hide the guys' willies anyway. I've posted about
this fallacy many times, and how it is a detriment to scenes involving
oral sex. Yeah, like men would rather see close-ups of a guy's grunting
face than details of what the girl is doing.
This makes no sense whatsoever when one considers the urinal. The urinal
is an evil invention. If men are so insecure, why do we all have to pee
in the same room? Sometimes they get generous and put up little partitions
so one can't draw a straight line between any two willies, but they only go
up to about chest-level usually. And then, sometimes you get the trough.
You know the trough. It's like sharing a big urinal. No, it IS sharing
a big urinal.
Louis Nick III
L. Shelton Bumgarner <lee...@nottowayez.net> wrote:
>On Tue, 26 Aug 1997 08:42:44 +0100, stefan...@zetnet.co.uk (Stefan
>Kapusniak) wrote:
>>>E.Holmes (eho...@onramp.net) wrote:
>>
>>>: PS I've noticed that guys have this weird fantasy about chyk
>>>: fights. I usually understand guy stuff really well, but
>>>: this one boggles me. Just an observationism.
>>
>
>I always thought it was because no matter what, a guy wouldn't have to
>see another guy's willie.
PRECISELY! For those of you just joining us, we just had this discussion
in aft-b, arl-n, TriBizz, and, oh, rec.org.mensa I think, last week.
Guys like to watch lesbian sex because there's no guy they have to be
jealous of, and wymyn do things with and to each other when alone
(presumably) that they'd never do with a d00d around.
This is not, of course, the same as a guy wanting to have sex with two
women. That scenario is mostly left to the minds of really, really lonely
guys who couldn't get one, and amateur comedians. Anyone who knows he
Green Golfball Joke knows better.
--
"It's better to be RIGHT about a REALLY PATHETIC FACT than to be WRONG
ABOUT SCIENCE!" -- James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com>
September 13, 1999: Atomic push-button world of tomorrow begins.
=== Louis Nick III sn...@u.washington.edu alt.religion.louis-nick ===
ck
dsem...@starbase.spd.louisville.edu (Darren Stuart Embry) wrote:
>The odd thing is I didn't start smoking, take any illegal drugs, have
>dangerous sex without having a relationship first
What, in luavl y'all have dangerous sex only *after* you have a
relationship?
ck
Ben Weiner
dsem...@starbase.spd.louisville.edu (Darren Stuart Embry) writes:
: ... I was one of those kids in high school that begged for the
: ``cool'' people to let me sit at the ``cool table'', whom they would
: eventaully let sit at the ``cool table'' yet they would still make fun
: of me and stuff behind my back because I did a pathetic job of trying
: to act like ``everybody else''. ...
: I'm still trying to figure out why I stopped being that way when I
: went to college? Is it because I just finally got sick of it? Is it
: because social circles in college were much more impenetrable? Is it
: because I didn't have to deal with them so much, in so far as I didn't
: have to be in the same class with the ``cool'' people for more than
: one class period? In so far as I went to engineering school and had a
: completely different set of k00l classmates?
: Nevertheless, I'm grateful, because I have a higher sense of who I am,
: and I feel kinda happy with myself right now.
That's great to hear. Everyone (and that means YOU, Bumgarner)
should have your self-confidence and ability to feel comfortable
with who you are.
You do realize, however, that we're still laughing at you
behind your back. Right?
David DeLaney
ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema) writes:
>Michael Garcia <ncc...@best.com> wrote:
>>That and the obsessive love for lesbian sex. That's just weird.
>>
>
>Essentially, it causes a feedback loop in the brane which basically will
>render any guy as hard as a rock.
Any straight guy. [M I C H A E A L will now corroborate me. In public.]
The rest of us either Been There Done That or Don't Go There Alice...
>"I WANT THEM TO _KNOW_ YOU'RE USING YOUR TONGUES!"
Dave "speaking in tongues all over you ... um, no, never mind" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Bruce Ediger
bwe...@muon.rutgers.edu.remove.kremvax.su (Ben Weiner) wrote:
>P.S. Am I like the only person here who _enjoyed_ going to his
"Yes." Even if I'd wanted to go to my 10th, I wouldn't have been
able to, due to wearing knees-to-toes casts on both legs after a
climbing accident.
That accident is what convinced me that the funny, funny pamphlet,
"Accidents in North American Mountaineering", is totally inaccurate.
Maelstrom
eho...@onramp.net (E.Holmes) wrote thus:
> People aren't "socialized" to make friends. Some people are just
> naturally more outgoing. Lack of social skills is often due to
> a natural introversion. This introverted shyness can be overcome,
> but I think it requires conscious effort at an adult level.
Hey Nick if you're listening I just found the answer to that chyk thing.
All you have to do is stay up all night working on something and then the
next day when you meet a cute chyk yewl be half-delirous with lack of sleep
and forget yourself and actually start TALKING to her. Spiffo eh? I just
did it today. And I think she must like me cauz she was laughing at my
jokes and they were pretty mediocre. But then again maybe she's paid to
do that.
> Let it *go*, Lee. High school is past.
The saddest Ricki Lake I ever saw(I mean WOULD have seen if I watched it an
all) was "Geek gone Gorgeous". They got all these nrrds who had become
"cool" and turned into male dancers, models, etc. And then they brought in
the kewl ppl from high school and they got to confront em and such. The
thing was the "kewl" people from highschool weren't really that bothered
because in a final cruel twist of fate they had GROWN UP and settled down
and were comfortable with themselves while the nrrds for all their bulging
muscles and such were trapped in their twisted little worlds trying forever
to live up to some 14 yo definition of "cool". One guy came out and did a
little rap song about how cool he was during which he pointed out things
like his abs and even his shoes. I wish I could remember the lyrics but it
was the most tragic thing for an adult to be doing that I can imagine. The
point was the kewl kids were STILL kewler whatever they did. So my point
is that ONCE A LUSER YOU WILL BE A LUSER F O R E V E R ! ! ! ! !
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HTH!
--Maelstrom
"The guy who used to pretend he was stoopid so stoopid
people would like him only they still didn't."
Tjames Madison
Nick S Bensema
>The saddest Ricki Lake I ever saw(I mean WOULD have seen if I watched it an
>all) was "Geek gone Gorgeous". They got all these nrrds who had become
>"cool" and turned into male dancers, models, etc. And then they brought in
>the kewl ppl from high school and they got to confront em and such. The
>thing was the "kewl" people from highschool weren't really that bothered
>because in a final cruel twist of fate they had GROWN UP and settled down
>and were comfortable with themselves while the nrrds for all their bulging
>muscles and such were trapped in their twisted little worlds trying forever
>to live up to some 14 yo definition of "cool". One guy came out and did a
>little rap song about how cool he was during which he pointed out things
>like his abs and even his shoes.
"Abs".
I have NEVER in my life heard a women comment on a man's "Abs".
It doesn't matter though. I loathe and fear the cool table and always will.
Those bastiges will be so fargin' surprised when they find out rap isn't cool.
I have a hunch that if I ever do become a huge rock star, I'll stay away from
MTV, or at least feel really whorish when they drag me on there. Even though
they'll be practically begging me to go on there because my band's videos will
be AWESOE.
Rose Marie Holt
In article <340709cf...@news.upnaway.com>,
mael...@deathsdoor.com.REMOVETHIS wrote:
> eho...@onramp.net (E.Holmes) wrote thus:
>
> > People aren't "socialized" to make friends. Some people are just
> > naturally more outgoing. Lack of social skills is often due to
> > a natural introversion. This introverted shyness can be overcome,
> > but I think it requires conscious effort at an adult level.
Actually, I think kids can and should be *properly* socialized. I would
definitely have benefited from preschool, and I definitely was harmed by
being placed in school a year early. Both my kids do daycare, but not
excessively, and both are age-matched in their classes. They are
incredibly well-adjusted in spite of having me for a parent.
> > Let it *go*, Lee. High school is past.
>
> The saddest Ricki Lake I ever saw(I mean WOULD have seen if I watched it an
> all) was "Geek gone Gorgeous". ... So my point
> is that ONCE A LUSER YOU WILL BE A LUSER F O R E V E R ! ! ! ! !
Wow. Well, your conclusion is erroneous. The nrrds who grew up werent on
the show. But obviously some people are just born losers. You could
conclude that once cool, always cool for the others.
At my 20th high school reunion everyone talked to me (as opposed to during
high school, when I didnt have the nerve to make a peep and was too dull
to attract interest) except the drill team b------s who are still stuck in
70's snobbery. Everyone else turned out interesting, even the football
players. It was way more fun that my entire high school experience. I
went to a large, heavily jock-infested high school where I learned the
true meaning of desperation and depression. So if *I* could enjoy the
20th, you could, too!
I highly recommend 20th high school reunions, even if you hated high
school - nearly everyone has pretty much grown up.
Nick S Bensema
In article <rmholt-3008...@cboi071p08.boi.micron.net>,
Rose Marie Holt <rmh...@micron.net> wrote:
>
>Actually, I think kids can and should be *properly* socialized. I would
>definitely have benefited from preschool, and I definitely was harmed by
>being placed in school a year early. Both my kids do daycare, but not
>excessively, and both are age-matched in their classes. They are
>incredibly well-adjusted in spite of having me for a parent.
In preschool, one day, I clearly remember a day when I would walk to one
side of the playground and ALL the kids would RUN to the other side of
the playground.
I remember that, and i remember having two friends who moved to Virginia,
and I remember one kid who would say "penis" every day.
I also remember having better handwriting than anyone else, and learning
the concept of one million.
David DeLaney
(Stefan Kapusniak) writes:
> Lesbians being WOMEN, can ...
> still beat off the invading alien hordes through their
> superior skill with edged weapons, _still_ having time
> for a sensual and romantic breakfast scene where they weep
> with joy at the beauty of the dawn.
"Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Grandma was beating off the Indians with a
pitchfork."
> [4] Remember that thar erection is just an 'outward and visible
> sign, of inward and invisible grace' <--- ASK YOUR LOCAL
> SUPREME PONTIFF FOR CONFIRMATION
Dave "and a fanatical devotion to the pope(ss)?" DeLaney
Ted Frank
In article <5ub5lk$a...@nntp02.primenet.com>,
Nick S Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> wrote:
>In preschool, one day, I clearly remember a day when I would walk to one
>side of the playground and ALL the kids would RUN to the other side of
>the playground.
In my preschool, I would proselytize the other children against Santa
Claus. They told me I just felt that way because I was Jewish, but I
pointed out that I knew how to read and they didn't. Of course, I was
the next-to-last person in the class to learn how to tie my shoelaces.
Now, Kia ties them for me.
>I also remember having better handwriting than anyone else, and learning
>the concept of one million.
I used to get "C"s in handwriting, and my parents were offended when that
kept me off the honor roll in fourth grade. The impact on my permanent
record is still unclear. Maybe that's why I had trouble getting dates in
high school.
In sixth grade, I met Earl Campbell and Marvin Zindler.
In eighth grade, U.S. News & World Report was doing a trend story, and
heard about this weirdo family that had *two* home computers, so they
came to our house and made us move all of our computer equipment around so
that they appeared more photogenic. Now, I have two home computers all
by myself, plus the laptop my office issued me, except my Macintosh is
used to hold down some empty boxes.
Does anyone else have a childhood anecdote to tell or know someone who does?
--
m...@radix.net
http://www.radix.net/~moe
Save Tinky Winky
M. Otis Beard
Ted Frank wrote:
>
> In eighth grade, U.S. News & World Report was doing a trend story, and
> heard about this weirdo family that had *two* home computers, so they
> came to our house and made us move all of our computer equipment around so
> that they appeared more photogenic. Now, I have two home computers all
> by myself, plus the laptop my office issued me, except my Macintosh is
> used to hold down some empty boxes.
>
> Does anyone else have a childhood anecdote to tell or know someone who does?
I remember taking our Altair 8800 to school to show off to my math
class in Jr. High. The other kids thought it could do my homework for me
and wanted to know what kind of questions I asked it.
I also remember being in kindergarten and suddenly realizing that the
Beatles and the Rolling Stones weren't relatives. I was so used to
hearing their voices and seeing pictures of them that I thought they
were uncles or something.
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake m...@Radix.Net (Ted Frank):
>Does anyone else have a childhood anecdote to tell or know someone who does?
I remember when I was about twelve, and I went to the town
square where a bunch of big muscular guys were heaving and
pulling on this sword so they could be king. Well, I thought
that looked like fun so I stood up on the stone the sword
was stuck in, pulled kind of hard, when I was surrounded by
this bright light. The sword came right out, and now I'm
king! Talk about your lucky breaks!
Now if only I can keep Lancealot the hell away from my wife.
--
Alex Suter
"The new phone books are here!"
http://www-cs-students.stanford.edu/~asuter/
`KY-ah MaREE MeNNY'
In article <5uccp2$8n8$4...@gte1.gte.net>,
M. Otis Beard <movin...@geocities.com> wrote:
:Ted Frank wrote:
:> Does anyone else have a childhood anecdote to tell or know someone who does?
: I also remember being in kindergarten and suddenly realizing that the
:Beatles and the Rolling Stones weren't relatives. I was so used to
:hearing their voices and seeing pictures of them that I thought they
:were uncles or something.
Around -- ha! I SKIPPED KINDERGARTEN! -- that time, I found out that the
Sex Pistols weren't really the filth I'd hoped for. The turntable was too
high for me to reach, so I had to ask my parents to put on records for me.
(Marc Bolan was _my_ uncle, I think.) Anyway, it took me _ages_ to get up
the nerve to ask for _that_ album, and I was all red-faced, and my mother
made it worse by saying it might not be quite my taste, and I had to say
`No, no, I'd like to listen, me,' and then I had to sit through the entire
album to prove that I really liked the music, and hadn't just wanted to
find out more about sex.
I had a similar trauma with a library book called `Gay' that turned out
to be about a dog, most likely a heterosexual one, named `Gay.'
Plus the book about bodies my parents gave me told about EVERYTHING BUT
ERECTIONS AND THRUSTING, so I spent years thinking I was pretty
well-informed, but... All I can say is THANK GOD FOR HOLLYWOOD!
Does anybody else have a childhood story about sex, or know somebody who
does? I like stories about young persons and sex. They're naturally
curious, you know.
--
kia MENNIE http://neon.ingenia.ca/stalkme/
L. Shelton Bumgarner
On 31 Aug 1997 08:06:19 -0400, m...@Radix.Net (Ted Frank) wrote:
>In article <5ub5lk$a...@nntp02.primenet.com>,
>Nick S Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> wrote:
>>In preschool, one day, I clearly remember a day when I would walk to one
>>side of the playground and ALL the kids would RUN to the other side of
>>the playground.
>
>In my preschool, I would proselytize the other children against Santa
>Claus.
That's it! Proof that Ted Frank is behind the cartoon show "South
Park" which I wish I could see but can't.
lee
Jesus v. Santa Claus II!
M. Otis Beard
`KY-ah MaREE MeNNY' wrote:
>
> In article <5uccp2$8n8$4...@gte1.gte.net>,
> M. Otis Beard <movin...@geocities.com> wrote:
>
> : I also remember being in kindergarten and suddenly realizing that the
> :Beatles and the Rolling Stones weren't relatives. I was so used to
> :hearing their voices and seeing pictures of them that I thought they
> :were uncles or something.
>
> Around -- ha! I SKIPPED KINDERGARTEN! -- that time, I found out that the
> Sex Pistols weren't really the filth I'd hoped for. The turntable was too
> high for me to reach, so I had to ask my parents to put on records for me.
> (Marc Bolan was _my_ uncle, I think.) Anyway, it took me _ages_ to get up
> the nerve to ask for _that_ album, and I was all red-faced, and my mother
> made it worse by saying it might not be quite my taste, and I had to say
> `No, no, I'd like to listen, me,' and then I had to sit through the entire
> album to prove that I really liked the music, and hadn't just wanted to
> find out more about sex.
And then you went out and bought a Revolting Cocks album, a
Rudimentary Peni record, a 45 of Soft Cell's 'Sex Dwarf' (hahahaha, you
lamer) and a copy of Berlin's 'Sex' (which is even lamer than Soft
Cell). Then you woke up in a puddle with sticky all over your fingers.
> I had a similar trauma with a library book called `Gay' that turned out
> to be about a dog, most likely a heterosexual one, named `Gay.'
I read that book, too! The dog's best friend was a homophobic
Libertarian cat named Autoasphyxiating Cocksucker, right?
> Plus the book about bodies my parents gave me told about EVERYTHING BUT
> ERECTIONS AND THRUSTING, so I spent years thinking I was pretty
> well-informed, but... All I can say is THANK GOD FOR HOLLYWOOD!
I have an erection I could show you sometime. I call it Nick
Bensema. I'm glad you're interested in thrusting, 'cause if two people
don't thrust each other implicitly, their relationship will never work
out right.
> Does anybody else have a childhood story about sex, or know somebody who
> does? I like stories about young persons and sex. They're naturally
> curious, you know.
I'm unnaturally curious, myself. . . *you* know what I mean. *wink*
Right now I'm waiting for Lisa Rea to show up at my door with a roll of
duct tape and an empty COFFEE mug. If she turns out to be a child, I'll
have her get in touch with you as soon as she has some stories about
unnaturally curious sex to tell you.
L. Shelton Bumgarner
On 31 Aug 1997 08:06:19 -0400, m...@Radix.Net (Ted Frank) wrote:
>In eighth grade, U.S. News & World Report was doing a trend story, and
>heard about this weirdo family that had *two* home computers, so they
>came to our house and made us move all of our computer equipment around so
>that they appeared more photogenic. Now, I have two home computers all
>by myself, plus the laptop my office issued me, except my Macintosh is
>used to hold down some empty boxes.
>
>Does anyone else have a childhood anecdote to tell or know someone who does?
The first thing I did when I got my first computer back in high school
was to _correct_ that very same publication for a stupid mistake. Of
course, for the rest of high school people would pick on me for it.
lee
who's trying to find the troll in this post.
B. Chas Parisher
>>In eighth grade, U.S. News & World Report was doing a trend story, and
>>heard about this weirdo family that had *two* home computers, so they
>>came to our house and made us move all of our computer equipment around so
>>that they appeared more photogenic. Now, I have two home computers all
>>by myself, plus the laptop my office issued me, except my Macintosh is
>>used to hold down some empty boxes.
>>
>>Does anyone else have a childhood anecdote to tell or know someone who does?
>The first thing I did when I got my first computer back in high school
>was to _correct_ that very same publication for a stupid mistake. Of
>course, for the rest of high school people would pick on me for it.
>
>lee
>who's trying to find the troll in this post.
It's right in between the two "Nina"'s he hid in the letters.
--B. Chas Parisher
Redd Bull
jasher wrote:
> L. Shelton Bumgarner (lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net) wrote:
> : gu...@ncsu.edu (Andrew S. "Gurk" Damick) wrote:
>
> Me, I hung out with the crazies -- they were the only ones that thought
> like me. :=)
My kool table was actually the bathroom... Yes.. I still smoke.. :))
> I think it was Kurt Vonnegut who said
> (at an MIT graduation, no less) to keep the friends of your youth, because
> the older you get the more important it is to have people in your life who
> knew you when you were young. :=)
Hell, I moved around too much to have friends for over a couple of years..
Redd..
L. Shelton Bumgarner
On 3 Sep 1997 04:06:17 GMT, kta...@artcrime.com (Karlo Takki) wrote:
>In article <5u7dad$1...@nntp02.primenet.com>
>ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema) writes:
>
>> I have a hunch that if I ever do become a huge rock star, I'll stay away from
>> MTV, or at least feel really whorish when they drag me on there. Even though
>> they'll be practically begging me to go on there because my band's videos will
>> be AWESOE.
>
>Do you really want to become a huge rock star? Do you really
>really want to die on the toilet like Elvis or Lesley West?
>Or worse, have Beavis and Butthead make fun of your girth?
I've come to realize that had I been born in NY City to wealthy Jewish
parents I would have developed much like that little terp who used to
have that SqurtTV show on the Big Apple's cable access channel.
>You got the part about whoring right. But forget about drag.
>Glitter's dead and those dudes in Trixter probably regret
>getting those breast implants.
some do0d I know said he liked rock bands like "Poison."
sigh
lee "glam rock just isn't what it used to be" bumgarner
Karlo Takki
> I have a hunch that if I ever do become a huge rock star, I'll stay away from
> MTV, or at least feel really whorish when they drag me on there. Even though
> they'll be practically begging me to go on there because my band's videos will
> be AWESOE.
Do you really want to become a huge rock star? Do you really
really want to die on the toilet like Elvis or Lesley West?
Or worse, have Beavis and Butthead make fun of your girth?
You got the part about whoring right. But forget about drag.
Glitter's dead and those dudes in Trixter probably regret
getting those breast implants.
Karlo "NO SALE" Takki
--
"There is no love in this world anymore" -- Buzzcocks
Ben Weiner
>>I have a hunch that if I ever do become a huge rock star, I'll stay away from
>>MTV, or at least feel really whorish when they drag me on there. Even though
>>they'll be practically begging me to go on there because my band's videos will
>>be AWESOE.
>Do you really want to become a huge rock star? Do you really
>really want to die on the toilet like Elvis or Lesley West?
>Or worse, have Beavis and Butthead make fun of your girth?
No way! Lesley West died, OD'ed, kicked it,
fat and on the toilet???? Say it ain't so!
I am SO heartbroken! "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To"
was My Song! All through high school! And college! And
graduate school! And Rikers! Well, not Rikers. And she
was so cute, too, if you like long-haired blondes, leaving
out the guys in Def Leppard.
This is horrible. This is the worst news I've had all week.
I'm going to go home and drink till I'm drunk, and smoke
till I'm senseless. And then I'm going to cry. Tears of
rage. Tears of grief.
>You got the part about whoring right. But forget about drag.
>Glitter's dead and those dudes in Trixter probably regret
>getting those breast implants.
>
>Karlo "NO SALE" Takki
>--
>"There is no love in this world anymore" -- Buzzcocks
Note: Judy GARLAND's turn to cry. Or Judy Butler's. Michele Tepper will
explain the joke.
Ben
--
"Pretend it's 1978, and you're straight." -- Sandra Bernhard
Tom Thornhill
Ben Weiner <bwe...@muon.rutgers.edu.remove.kremvax.su> wrote in article
<5unrgh$5...@muon.rutgers.edu>...
>
> kta...@artcrime.com (Karlo Takki) writes:
> >ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema) writes:
>
> >>I have a hunch that if I ever do become a huge rock star, I'll stay away from
> >>MTV, or at least feel really whorish when they drag me on there. Even though
> >>they'll be practically begging me to go on there because my band's videos will
> >>be AWESOE.
>
> >Do you really want to become a huge rock star? Do you really
> >really want to die on the toilet like Elvis or Lesley West?
> >Or worse, have Beavis and Butthead make fun of your girth?
No dillweed the word's GUT.
>
> No way! Lesley West died, OD'ed, kicked it,
> fat and on the toilet???? Say it ain't so!
No that's Adam West. Robin in the hit '70's TV series 'Batman'.
> This is horrible. This is the worst news I've had all week.
> I'm going to go home and drink till I'm drunk, and smoke
> till I'm senseless. And then I'm going to cry. Tears of
> rage. Tears of grief.
This reminds me of a T shirt I saw once -
<DRUNKEN PUNK>
Drink 'til you stink
Smoke til you choke
Dance 'til you ..... Ahhhh Fuck Off
[wanders off]
</DRUNKEN PUNK>
>
>
>
--
***If you can understand this then your brain needs servicing URGENTLY***
Mailto: ttho...@best.ms.philips.com-nospam ( remove the -nospam before replying )
Talkto: Tom Thornhill, Philips Medical Systems Nederland BV
Tel +31 4027 64080 (Work), +31 499 338211 (Hotel - after 5pm UK time)
W. Kiernan
Maelstrom wrote:
>
> The saddest Ricki Lake I ever saw(I mean WOULD have seen if I watched it an
> all) was "Geek gone Gorgeous". They got all these nrrds who had become
> "cool" and turned into male dancers, models, etc. And then they brought in
> the kewl ppl from high school and they got to confront em and such. The
> thing was the "kewl" people from highschool weren't really that bothered
> because in a final cruel twist of fate they had GROWN UP and settled down
> and were comfortable with themselves while the nrrds for all their bulging
> muscles and such were trapped in their twisted little worlds trying forever
> to live up to some 14 yo definition of "cool". One guy came out and did a
> little rap song about how cool he was during which he pointed out things
> like his abs and even his shoes. I wish I could remember the lyrics but it
> was the most tragic thing for an adult to be doing that I can imagine. The
> point was the kewl kids were STILL kewler whatever they did. So my point
> is that ONCE A LUSER YOU WILL BE A LUSER F O R E V E R ! ! ! ! !
Oh fuck that's funny, I had no idea they had anything that cruel on TV.
Smilin Bill - WKie...@concentric.net
DAL
LawyerBoy 0.01 (jjs...@neosoft.com) wrote:
: I read that somebody named m...@Radix.Net (Ted Frank) wrote:
:
: <Nick S Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> wrote:
:
: [childhood memories snipped]
: [ditto]
:
: 'im that?" I shake my head dumbly in my too-big football helmet. "It's
: cause he's got a big ol' bubble butt!" Bubbles turns to the side and
: slaps himslf on the posterior. Everybody laughs, including "Bubbles".
: I'm afraid to laugh but I do.
:
: It was a strange experience on many levels.
Just another reason for concealed carry...
--
Doktor Faustus
- Nobilitas sola est atque unica virtus -
- Virtue is the one and only nobility -
Cato