Funniest joke I've ever heard
Alex Suter
>A nun walks into a bar....
>
>No, wait. That's not it.
So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
me nuts."
--
Alex Suter
http://world.std.com/~asuter/
"Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"
Paula
> David Bromage <dbro...@fang.omni.com.au> wrote:
>> A nun walks into a bar....
>>
>> No, wait. That's not it.
>
> So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
> wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
> bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
> wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
> me nuts."
I give that one a 9.5. Probably not the funniest joke I've ever heard, but
the funniest I've heard in quite a while.
Paula
David Bromage
>
> David Bromage <dbro...@fang.omni.com.au> wrote:
> >A nun walks into a bar....
> >
> >No, wait. That's not it.
>
> So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
> wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
> bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
> wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
> me nuts."
FRA GER ESP NOR CAN MEX ITA RUS
9.0 8.5 9.0 8.5 8.0 8.5 8.5 8.0
Cheers
David
Paula
Did you do this before or after you read my post? This is getting kinda
scary if you didn't read my post first.
Paula
Stephenls
> So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
> wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
> bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
> wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
> me nuts."
This is especially funny because of the way certain bits snuck up on me
after reading it. For instance, I was thinking "Why a pirate?" and then
realized that if he /wasn't/ a pirate, "driving me nuts" wouldn't have
doubled as "driving my nuts," and the whole point of the joke would have
been ruined. And yet upon first glance, the piracy of the protagonist
was unnecessary, so... um?
Where'd everybody go?
--
Stephenls
Geek
And a quartet of round, red drops of blood, like so many tiny pebbles.
And a quartet of tiny, round, red pebbles, like so many drops of blood.
--Eric Halstrom, Chima Baifeng Shengshan Chun
Paula
> Alex Suter wrote:
>
>> So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
>> wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
>> bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
>> wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
>> me nuts."
>
> This is especially funny because of the way certain bits snuck up on me
> after reading it. For instance, I was thinking "Why a pirate?" and then
> realized that if he /wasn't/ a pirate, "driving me nuts" wouldn't have
> doubled as "driving my nuts," and the whole point of the joke would have
> been ruined. And yet upon first glance, the piracy of the protagonist
> was unnecessary, so... um?
>
> Where'd everybody go?
I'm still here but ICQ'ing with Nick B. And playing with iTunes, curses to
Matt.
Paula
Ben Wolfson
>Alex Suter wrote:
>
>> So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
>> wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
>> bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
>> wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
>> me nuts."
>
>This is especially funny because of the way certain bits snuck up on me
>after reading it. For instance, I was thinking "Why a pirate?" and then
>realized that if he /wasn't/ a pirate, "driving me nuts" wouldn't have
>doubled as "driving my nuts," and the whole point of the joke would have
>been ruined. And yet upon first glance, the piracy of the protagonist
>was unnecessary, so... um?
He could have been Irish. Whar's me toothpick? <-- NOT FUNNY
>Where'd everybody go?
Corner drugstore, for a malt.
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
No man can run so fast that he can escape his own past's projectile vomit.
Sean Smith
David Bromage wrote:
>
> FRA GER ESP NOR CAN MEX ITA RUS
> 9.0 8.5 9.0 8.5 8.0 8.5 8.5 8.0
Waydaminit. The _Canadian_ judge gives the same low score as the
_Russian_ judge?
Are you implying that Canadians are as surly as Russians, especially
when it comes to "into a bar" jokes?
Sean ("I just can't figure out these post-Cold War geopolitical
dynamics") Smith
stsm...@hotmail.com
Because some things
can't be helped--http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/6504
Featuring "Daze&Quirks" and
The Dumb, Stupid Baseball Hat Page
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"'Scuse us, folks. Looks like someone's spiked our liquor with alcohol."
--Louis Armstrong
Jeremy Impson
> On 8/25/01 1:10 AM, Stephenls tried to make me believe that:
[...]
> > Where'd everybody go?
>
> I'm still here but ICQ'ing with Nick B. And playing with iTunes,
> curses to Matt.
> Paula
OK, new rule. No having kibological relations unless it's here on this
chatboard. Meetings in real life are exempt if you post an URL to some
pictures and other documentation.
I suppose if you post a transcript of your discussion here you'll be OK.
It's just that we can't have any development of the Memes outside of a
pubic forum. Otherwise, we'd be no better than the Mason!
--Jeremy
(I fear my days are numbered.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy Impson
http://nwc.syr.edu/~jdimpson
Darla Vladschyk
wrote:
>So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
>wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
>bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
>wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
>me nuts."
Okay I don't often find jokes funny enough to make me laugh out loud,
THIS one made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes, and it spawned
a couple of reprises.
I'll probably laugh again when I tell it to Vlad, and when I send it
to everyone I know.
Thanks, Mister Suter!
-=D=-
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"Ah, TV. Where would we be without TV? From Canada?"
---M.McI.
Paula
> On Sat, 25 Aug 2001, Paula wrote:
>
>> On 8/25/01 1:10 AM, Stephenls tried to make me believe that:
>
> [...]
>
>>> Where'd everybody go?
>>
>> I'm still here but ICQ'ing with Nick B. And playing with iTunes,
>> curses to Matt.
>> Paula
>
> OK, new rule. No having kibological relations unless it's here on this
> chatboard. Meetings in real life are exempt if you post an URL to some
> pictures and other documentation.
>
> I suppose if you post a transcript of your discussion here you'll be OK.
> It's just that we can't have any development of the Memes outside of a
> pubic forum. Otherwise, we'd be no better than the Mason!
>
> --Jeremy
>
> (I fear my days are numbered.)
Quit whining and get ICQ and you can ICQ me too, baybee!
Paula
David Bromage
> > FRA GER ESP NOR CAN MEX ITA RUS
> > 9.0 8.5 9.0 8.5 8.0 8.5 8.5 8.0
>
> Did you do this before or after you read my post?
Before. Maybe I was you in a former life?
Cheers
David
Paula
Stop trying to brake my brane just because I gave higher marks than any of
your judges!
Paula
Ben Wolfson
But on average, his judges' scores were higher than yours.
Fool
On Sat, 25 Aug 2001, Paula wrote:
> On 8/25/01 8:01 AM, Jeremy Impson tried to make me believe that:
>
> >
> > I suppose if you post a transcript of your discussion here you'll be OK.
> > It's just that we can't have any development of the Memes outside of a
> > pubic forum. Otherwise, we'd be no better than the Mason!
> >
>
> Quit whining and get ICQ and you can ICQ me too, baybee!
>
Waaaaaah! Not you too!!1!
Don't do it Jeremy. IQC is an evil arkcyhk conspiracy to get support
payments out of you.
--
To email me, remove my head.
Jeremy Impson
Thanks for the warning Fool. But I was never tempted. In the distant
past, I have had an ICQ number, AIM, and Yahoo Pager. But I've already
learned the hard way the folly of "online" "messaging". Oh yes.
Now I just use "talk".
--Jeremy
Paula
Quit whining and get ICQ, Fool. Since you already owe me support payments,
you might as well get some of the benefits. I would let you off the hook
for support if you weren't so selfish with your shirts. But Tam tells me
that I am getting the Maple Leafs shirt that you could have had, so I win!
Paula
James Kibo Parry
>
> So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering
> wheel coming out of the front of his pants. The
> bartender says, "Hey, what's up with that steering
> wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's driving
> me nuts."
Oh, if only Professor Kennilworth were here. He's probably
explain that pirates had a different, more piratical, term
for the testes and therefore the joke is inaccurate and
should be something with the phrase "nuggets of two"
in order to be as funny as Kennilworth's other work.
Hmm, this train, going the other way on the "E" route,
smells like burning PVC/PCBs just like the "B" train did
a few minutes ago. Could it be that all the Green Line
trains are filling with toxic smoke just to distract me
from coming up with more pirate terms for scrota?
Speaking of Green Line trains, they're still remodeling
(i.e. not allowing access to) all the normal surface stops
because they are raising them all six inches to make it
easier for wheelchairs to get onto the new Green Line
trains which are equipped to take wheelchairs, or were
during the month or so they used them before they removed
them all from service because they had three derailments,
and now the wheelchair lobbyists are upset that the trains
were taken out of service because they deserve the right to
ride on the train with the rest of us even though it means
constant derailments.
My feeling is that the Green Line should run the dangerous
new wheelchair-capable trains, because after they all derail
enough times the surviving passengers will want wheelchair
access, assuming they all have major injuries, which I'm
sure they will because these new trains were made by an
Italian company whose logo is a horse rearing up to throw
its rider. This is obviously more deadly than the previous
supplier, Kinki, whose logo was just the word "KINKI",
which is not dangerous at all unless you're Chandra Levy.
Also they should be filled with different kinds of smoke.
The "E" train should smell different from the "B" train.
-- K.
Maybe they could buy
some scented urine.