uk.local.london FAQ -- en franglais

[Alistair Mann]

ABOUT LONDON

Q. I visit London for the first time, which I make?
A. That depends - in what are you of interest?
The typical Council of voyage: http://www.londontown.com /
A very good travelogist: http://webhome.idirect.com/~calamity /
The Council of the locals (but not of us):
http://www.knowhere.co.uk/contents.html#area25
The Council of us: http://www.london-online.org.uk /

Q. Where can I find the street of *****?
A. Test of this you will:
http://uk.multimap.com /
http://www.streetmap.co.uk /

Q. How do I obtain ***** with the ***** in the subway journey?
A. I am afflicted, you or seek uk.transport.london or
http://www.londontransport.co.uk /

Q. Which are times of opening of the ******* church/cathedral/museum?
A. Usually during hours of day - except afternoons of Wednesday/Thursday
and public holidays where they closed approximately 5 minutes before you
arrive there with a car completely of the yelling kids.
http://www.wwwebguides.com/london/tourist/to_visit/list.html

Q. The ****** is zone " safe "?
A. Nowhere is sure. Even dust under the bed could cause a mortal asthma
attack, but if you want can find information local with
http://www.knowhere.co.uk / and statistics of worrying with
http://www.upmystreet.co.uk /

Q. Can you recommend a cheap restaurant/hotel/chemist in the ******?
A. Cheap - in London?! You are of jest, right? To probably better find the
place nearest, as your only hope must save on costs of voyage.
www.scoot.co.uk
www.yell.co.uk

Q. Where/what cheap to rent in London?
A. Nowhere. Nothing. Even the boys of rent are pricey.

Q. I approximately to start to work in London, where is it good it is it to
live?
A. Where will you work? Live as close to him that possible. By failing
that, at least try to remain in the same 'zone'.

Q. Which is a zone?
A. * sigh *. You really desperate, are not you? A ' zone ' is a weak excuse
with incite to us to pay one 5 additional just to travel a stop on the
tube. You can see has card of the greatest joke of the world here:
http://www.londontransport.co.uk/info/t_info22.htm

Q. I come to remain in London, the can no matter who recommend a good
market however good hotel?
A. Not, but can begin you here if you really must:
http://www.uk-hotels-register.com/twostar.html
http://www.travelshoppe.com/lh/index.html

Q. I was offered a work in London, which is decent wages there?
A. ' Decent ' wages in London should be at least double what would be you
paid anywhere elsewhere, because is this what all will cost you of living -
double.

Q. London thus is expensive?
A. Cost of meal of ' value ' (hamburger med cracklings and drink.) in any
McDonalds inside London: Ł2.99 = US$4.95 or AU$7.50

Q. You of the types must really hate London, then.
A. Joking is you? It is the best city in the world! (too much bad about
million approximately the idiots who live &/or also here carries out the
place....)

Q. Where are some good sites of Web about London?
A. On the tool of Internet, naturally! Sheesh!
http://www.london-online.org.uk /
http://dmoz.org/Regional/UK/England/London /
http://cube.icestorm.com/homepage/best-london-links.html

Q. What London / Bethnal does it make green / resemble where in 19**/18 it
** etc.?
A. How would we know? We were not there! Just how old think us you are you?
These types can have an index, but do not say to them that we sent to you.
http://www.eastside.ndirect.co.uk /

Q. I have leave part / I look at to share a dish / me want to live with a
complete foreigner
A. I am afflicted, we are all completion to the top at the present time,
but you can find some similar people here:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/accomm/index.html
http://www.timeout.com/london/accom /

Q. My flatmate/lodger a complete looney, how I is it were to be rid of
him/her?
A. Subject their details anonymously to Crimewatch and act suitably shocked
when the police is able to question him/her.

Q. Who wants to buy a ******* which probably fell from the back of a truck?
A. The men with the white vans can feel free with the sale used, flown, or
differently thorny goods with
http://www.loot.com /

Q. Helps, I were torn except function mistake, which I make?
A. Learn from what to you did it of the wrong and do not make again -
STUPID yet!

Q. Which are the news on London Eye/Jubilee Line/Dome/etc?
A. Invariably above the budget and late. Next question.

Q. Who is the best person to be voted for with the elections mayoral?
A. Yelling lord with regrets Sutch died towards a better place and east
more eligible to carry out (however in some cities it still can with
voice). Our best consulting is to vote for no matter whom who does not wish
to judge
position.

Q. I thought that London was supposed to be cosmopolitan! Is not there only
I then to anywhere obtain a drink after 11:00pm?
A. Afflicted, the early narrow one of publications thus us midnight suppers
nice and fresh for our morning shift with the factory of ammunition. There
is, however, several places which you can obtain a drink after 11:00pm - if
you do not occupy yourselves to eat curry or to dance with named boys '
Mary '.

Q. Where can I buy the marijuana?
A. The possession and the sale of the marijuana are illegal in the United
Kingdom, thus naturally the answer to this question is ' nowhere in London
' because it just does not occur insofar as we know. You can obtain the
pretty high one by olfactory essence intake with the local currency,
however
http://www.guardianunlimited.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,3908854,00.html

The OK of Oh, there is this companion of the my, but it is a kind of
dryness at the present time.
It says should ask you here: http://www.yahooka.com /

ABOUT THE GROUP

Is Q. Where/when the next gathering of ULL?
Meetings of A. ULL are held every two months, invariably a night which you
be out of city or your owner asks you to work late. They are usually held
some share in London, and can discover you here:
http://www.london-online.org.uk /

Q. What do we make about the trolls fucking?
A. Trolls? Which trolls?

Q. Do you approve homosexuality/zoophilia/etc.?
A. Only between the parts of assent in the intimacy of their clean
home/barn/etc.

Q. Did you see the ******** with television the last night?
A. Yes - wasn't hilarious/stupid/boring?

Q. Can you lend pence to me of ** while I am continued?
A. No. Of why don't you request in the subway like everyone differently?

Q. What do you think of buskers/beggars/buggers?
A. The opinion changes scum-positions with the scam-artists with the '
victims of the company '.
However, the majority of the strong opinions on this subject imply usually
the ' train of
Death '.

Q. Which is the ' train of death '?
A. Ask Zobo.

Q. Who or who is Zobo?
A. Do not ask.

Q. WTF?
A. We while are shocked while you are.

Q. What WTF/ROTFLOL/FU SET/TASIRPMO does it mean then?
A. One knows it like acronym or abbreviation. Answers can be found here:
http://www.mtnds.com/af /

Q. The ****** is it completely insane? Around the curve? A c**t?
A. Not, but the he/she certainly can act like him sometimes.

Q. What arrived at my computer / ULL / my genitals?
A. It/they are/is of knackered being.

Q. I then to join your group?
A. Sure, just do not put any STUPID question!

--
translation from Manic
Alistair Mann, ULL webmaster
ull website: http://www.london-online.org.uk