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Ways You Can Tell Someone Else Has Been Using Your Computer.

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James Kibo Parry

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Nov 16, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/16/99
to
1. The monitor is tilted downwards because most people seem to think
that you see with your feet.

2. They tossed your mousepad in the corner because people other than
you would much rather use your mouse directly on your sticky desk.

I'M TIRED OF THIS LIST, YOU CAN FINISH IT FOR ME.

-- K.

My new monitor is too big
to fit on my desk. I either
need a new desk, or else
I need to figure out if this
monitor will still work if
I saw the extra part of the
screen off.

Poot Rootbeer

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Nov 16, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/16/99
to
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:

>1. The monitor is tilted downwards because most people seem to
> think that you see with your feet.
>
>2. They tossed your mousepad in the corner because people other
> than you would much rather use your mouse directly on your sticky
> desk.
>
>I'M TIRED OF THIS LIST, YOU CAN FINISH IT FOR ME.

3. THE ENB!

-Poot
I was tired of it too.

Chris Costello

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Nov 16, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/16/99
to
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> 1. The monitor is tilted downwards because most people seem to think
> that you see with your feet.

Just once I want to get a dedicated 220v one BILLION AMP
circuit wired to things people except me touch using my computer.

If you do this please pay me royalties.

> 2. They tossed your mousepad in the corner because people other than
> you would much rather use your mouse directly on your sticky desk.

Remember, even though rubber cement smells fantasterrific, it
does not belong all over the surface of your desk.

3. I find them sitting there when I get home still trying to
past the "Enter your password" part on the xlock screen.

> My new monitor is too big
> to fit on my desk. I either
> need a new desk, or else

Tell you what, you can rent real estate on my desk. I have
room for about 5 workstations here (3 if I want all the clutter
space I can get on my shelves), and I only have one and a bunch
of papers and books and USELESS JUNK in the rest of the space.

> I need to figure out if this
> monitor will still work if
> I saw the extra part of the
> screen off.

Please send me all extra screen parts as I plan to build a new
monitor.

- Chris Costello <ch...@FreeBSD.org>

Red Dog

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Nov 16, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/16/99
to
5. Theres a bunch of Barny porn sites in your bookmarks and your keyboard is
sticky.

6. The quality of your Spam has changed to adds about things you REALY
dident want to know about.

7. Your getting hate mail from people you never heard of and death threts
from your ISP.

8. There is no number eight.

9. You've actualy been away from your computer long enough for someone else
to use it?

10. theres a Mojo Nixion CD in your drive.

11. I give up. who's next?

Red Dog

Eddie Hi There!

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Nov 16, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/16/99
to
In article <UD8Y3.113$K35....@news2.randori.com>, "Red Dog"

Dixto on the Nixon CD boyo.

NUMBER EIGHT: THE LARCH.

and now

Number eight.

The Larch.

Number eight! -> The King James Bible
(*applause*)
is no longer on your 'clipboard' or 'recent document' or
Linux-Gooey-Interface-of-choice-pseudo-clipboard pointer-list.

Now, how do I look up the plague of snails??

> Red Dog

Saranc!

* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!


twi...@sound.net

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Nov 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/17/99
to
In article <kibo-16119...@192.168.1.200>,

ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
> 1. The monitor is tilted downwards because most people seem to think
> that you see with your feet.
>
> 2. They tossed your mousepad in the corner because people other than
> you would much rather use your mouse directly on your sticky desk.
>
> I'M TIRED OF THIS LIST, YOU CAN FINISH IT FOR ME.
>

3. The mouse and mouse pad have been moved to the right side of the
'puter.

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Ricky Morse

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Nov 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/17/99
to
In article <80ul65$1q2$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, twi...@sound.net wrote:

>In article <kibo-16119...@192.168.1.200>,
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>> 1. The monitor is tilted downwards because most people seem to think
>> that you see with your feet.
>>
>> 2. They tossed your mousepad in the corner because people other than
>> you would much rather use your mouse directly on your sticky desk.
>>
>> I'M TIRED OF THIS LIST, YOU CAN FINISH IT FOR ME.
>>
>
>3. The mouse and mouse pad have been moved to the right side of the
> 'puter.
>

4. The keyboard layout is either Dvorak or QWERTY...

Ricky (instead of what, is the question)

-----
Pukku

David Pacheco

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Nov 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/17/99
to
(James "Kibo" Parry) says...

> 1. The monitor is tilted downwards because most people seem to think
> that you see with your feet.
>
> 2. They tossed your mousepad in the corner because people other than
> you would much rather use your mouse directly on your sticky desk.

3. Momma Bear says "someone's been using my computer and they've set the
screen resolution WAY too high!" Then Papa Bear says "someone's been
using my computer and they've set the screen resolution WAY too low!"
Then they look through your hard drive and find goldilicks.gif, and Papa
Bear suddenly understands why his porridge was WAY too salty.

4. The cupholder has a shiny round coaster in it.

5. You are Archimedes Plutonium, and you are in a public library.

6. There's cat hair all over the keyboard, and your browser cache is
full of hard-core kitty porn.

-dp.
Want a cookie?

Leeb

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Nov 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/17/99
to
On Tue, 16 Nov 1999 03:13:35 -0000, "Red Dog" <red...@bluemoon.net>
wrote:

>5. Theres a bunch of Barny porn sites in your bookmarks and your keyboard is
>sticky.
>
>6. The quality of your Spam has changed to adds about things you REALY
>dident want to know about.
>
>7. Your getting hate mail from people you never heard of and death threts
>from your ISP.
>
>8. There is no number eight.
>
>9. You've actualy been away from your computer long enough for someone else
>to use it?
>
>10. theres a Mojo Nixion CD in your drive.

Mojo Nixon is from near where I was raised.

leeb

--
Leeb * Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
Http://www.mindspring.com/~nurd/
"UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED, ESPECIALLY to
COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARDS." --Robert E. McElwaine

Red Dog

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Nov 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/17/99
to

David Pacheco <david_...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:MPG.129d4a82b...@news.freeserve.net...

> 6. There's cat hair all over the keyboard, and your browser cache is


> full of hard-core kitty porn.

There is a special place in Hadies reserved just for such hidious Punners. I
know, I have a reserved seat.< Insert face of Madness here>

Ded Rog

>
> -dp.
> Want a cookie?
>

James Kibo Parry

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Nov 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/18/99
to
David Pacheco (david_...@lineone.net) wrote:
>

KA-PEENG! KA-PEENG! NEW SONAR-POWERED KONTEXT-AWAY TORPEDOES CONTEXT!

> [...]


>
> 5. You are Archimedes Plutonium, and you are in a public library.

KITTONG! KITTONG! KONTEXT-AWAY MARK VII RETURNS TO JACK WEBB'S BASEMENT!

Dear David,

I appreciate your gift of turning me into Archimedes Plutonium and
teleporting me to the Boston Public Library. However, I feel that this
is the worst episode of "Bewitched" ever. It's even worse than the one
where Darrin and Paul Lynde fell under that spell that made them act
gay for one week. Please zap me back to being Kibo and avoiding public
libraries, or better yet, blink me into being Fonzie so that I'll be
able to go around alternating between being afraid of public libraries
and telling everyone in the world they should have as many library
cards as possible. But please do not use your arbitrary god-like powers
over time and space to make me "sit on it!"

-- K.

While we're on the subject of gayness,
the Boston Public Library, and god-like
powers, I'd like to mention again that I
love the concept of that H. G. Wells movie
where Jack Benny destroyed the whole world
just because he COULD. I shudder to think
what would happen if other celebrities
got that power. Especially Charles Grodin.

Joseph Michael Bay

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Nov 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/18/99
to
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:

>David Pacheco (david_...@lineone.net) wrote:


>KA-PEENG! KA-PEENG! NEW SONAR-POWERED KONTEXT-AWAY TORPEDOES CONTEXT!

>> [...]
>>
>> 5. You are Archimedes Plutonium, and you are in a public library.

>KITTONG! KITTONG! KONTEXT-AWAY MARK VII RETURNS TO JACK WEBB'S BASEMENT!

% look

You are in a public library. The lighting is subdued but strong enough
to read by, and people maintain a respectful silence interrupted only
by the occasional stifled cough or squeak of chairs on the hardwood floor.
There are shelves here.
There is a computer here.
There is a chair here.

% get computer

You can't take the computer!

% use computer

Perhaps you should try sitting down first.

% sit down

What do you want to sit on?

% chair

I'm sorry; I don't understand.

% sit down on the chair, dipshit

You sit on the chair. There's no need to be rude. The chair is not very
comfortable. You fidget.

% use computer

As you begin writing your illuminating essay, a coed sits down at
an adjacent table and begins twirling her hair.

% talk coed

The coed looks at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to say something.

% say "stop that"

The coed ignores you. You fidget. The plutonium atom in your
brain is getting warm.

% stand

You are in a public library. The plutonium atom in your brain
is getting warmer.

% exits

There is a doorway to the south. There is a bathroom to the north.

% n

You enter a public bathroom. Other people use this room for their
vile filthy needs. There is a toilet here.
There is a sink here.
There is toilet paper here.
The plutonium atom in your brain is getting very warm.

% sit

What do you want to sit on?

% sit on toilet

You sit on the toilet. Your piles hurt. The plutonium atom
in your brain is giving off an uncomfotable amount of heat.

% poop

Perhaps you should remove your pants first?

% remove pants

You remove your pants. The plutonium atom in your brain
is beginning to vibrate rapidly.

% poop

La la la. You poop in the toilet. The plutonium atom
in your brain is making a buzzing noise.

% wet toilet paper

You wet some toilet paper in the sink. The plutonium
atom in your brain is producing a sizzling sound.

% wipe

What do you want to wipe?

% wipe self

You wipe yourself with the wet toilet paper. The plutonium
atom in your brain is beginning to smell like frying bacon.

% stand

You stand up. The plutonium atom in your brain is rattling
your teeth.

% s

You enter a public library. People are pointing at you,
digsusted. You realize you have no pants and are holding wet
soiled toilet paper. The plutonium atom in your brain is
producing gas with oily discharge.

% wear pants

You don't see any pants here!

% n

You enter a public bathroom.
There is a toilet here.
There is a sink here.
There are pants here.
The plutonium atom in your brain goes critical.

*** YOU HAVE DIED ***

Your score was 94, out of a possible 239.
Do you want to (r)estart, (r)estore, or (r)esign?

--
Joseph M. Bay
Putting the "harm" in the "Department of Molecular Pharmacology"
since 1997
T U S T U L T E S E S

Joe McMahon

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Nov 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/18/99
to
In article <810e73$j...@epic12.Stanford.EDU>,

Joseph Michael Bay <jm...@leland.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
>% look
>
>You are in a public library. The lighting is subdued but strong enough
>to read by, and people maintain a respectful silence interrupted only
>by the occasional stifled cough or squeak of chairs on the hardwood floor.
>There are shelves here.
>There is a computer here.
>There is a chair here.

Hivemind synchrony engaged. Do not extend hands from moving hivemind.

--- Joe M.

--
"Joel, what are these movies supposed to teach us?"
"We live, we die, and there's a lot of padding in between."

Joe McMahon

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Nov 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/18/99
to
In article <MPG.129d4a82b...@news.freeserve.net>,
David Pacheco <david_...@lineone.net> wrote:
>5. You are Archimedes Plutonium, and you are in a public library.
> post reams of crud to sci.physics
Ok.

A large number of real physicists come round the corner and bludgeon
you into a small, flat smear.

*** You have died ***

RESTORE, RESTART, UNDO, or QUIT?

Leo Sgouros

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Nov 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/18/99
to

Joe McMahon <mcm...@clark.net> wrote in message
news:hrYY3.39256$oa2.2...@iad-read.news.verio.net...

> In article <MPG.129d4a82b...@news.freeserve.net>,
> David Pacheco <david_...@lineone.net> wrote:
> >5. You are Archimedes Plutonium, and you are in a public library.
> > post reams of crud to sci.physics
> Ok.
>
> A large number of real physicists come round the corner and bludgeon
> you into a small, flat smear.
>

And then the s00per s3krit lab division turns the faithless physicists into
salt, via the ultra-radical time flip E=MC/bared

robert lindsay

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Nov 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/18/99
to
In article <38333fbb....@news.mindspring.com>,

Leeb <nu...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>On Tue, 16 Nov 1999 03:13:35 -0000, "Red Dog" <red...@bluemoon.net>
>wrote:
>>10. theres a Mojo Nixion CD in your drive.
>
>Mojo Nixon is from near where I was raised.

Lee is the Anti-MOJO!!!!! RUN!
--
Robert Lindsay, NASA - Goddard, Greenbelt MD rlin...@seadas.gsfc.nasa.gov
"This whole business of killing bugs to be cool on the Internet is Grace
Hopper's legacy." -J. "Kibo" Parry, USENET, Sep 24, 1999 Why not me?
#include <standard_disclaimer.h> 301-286-9958 ISTJ -REM

Rebeka Thomas

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Nov 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/19/99
to
There is no context.

> 5. You are Archimedes Plutonium, and you are in a public library.

activate computer.

]The computer goes "biiiii!" [Japanese for thbpt]

kick computer.

]Computer says "Itai!" [Japanese for OW]

get books

]I see no books here

xyzzy

]Somewhere, Someplace, Kibo is transformed into a female.

say "that wasn't supposed to happen"

]if you say that, and no-one's around to hear you, did you make a
sound?

get phone

]I see no phone here

walk into phone booth

]You are now cramped

get phone

]you pick up the phone

call Kibo

]you don't know Kibo's number

look up His number

]You look up Kibo's number. 555-5555

call Kibo

]you call Kibo

]the PHONE rings on the other end

[on Kibo's console]

%Your phone rings

pete

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Nov 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/23/99
to
James Kibo Parry wrote:
>
> 1. The monitor is tilted downwards because most people seem to think
> that you see with your feet.
>
> 2. They tossed your mousepad in the corner because people other than
> you would much rather use your mouse directly on your sticky desk.
>
> I'M TIRED OF THIS LIST, YOU CAN FINISH IT FOR ME.
>

3. The wallpaper *.bmp is a different type of pornography from
the kind you like.


--
pete

David O'Callaghan

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Nov 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/23/99
to
pete <fil...@mindspring.com> wrote:
<snip>

I have no response here. It's just that the subject shows up as
"Ways You Can Tell Someone Else Has Bee" in rtin.

David

Captain Infinity

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Nov 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/23/99
to
Once Upon A Time,
in article <81eibb$a...@web3.tcd.ie>
David O'Callaghan wrote:

>I have no response here. It's just that the subject shows up as
>"Ways You Can Tell Someone Else Has Bee" in rtin.

1. Because science says they cannot fly, even on airplanes.
(The alarm goes off if they pass through the bee detector.)

2. If they manage to get past the bee detector and die in
midair, the dogs in the cargo hold will eat them and then
those dogs will NEVER MOVE AGAIN!

I believe Kibo proved this scientifically a few months ago.
Kibo is the King of Bees!

**
Captain Infinity

Leo Sgouros

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Nov 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/23/99
to

Captain Infinity <Infi...@world.com> wrote in message
news:383d176b...@news-f.std.com...

DIBS on Court Jester.

Louis Nick III

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Nov 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/28/99
to
In article <7kpZ3.183$xQ2.3...@news.netdirect.net>,
rank...@hotmail.com says...

I was just realizing that you should be able to just pick up the phone
and say "Kibo" and he'll answer. That, or whenever you're on the phone
and you mention Kibo's name, he should break into the conversation,
possibly by say DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY in unison with the caller and call
recip.

That's why his name is so unusual. And I bet he gets a lot of calls from
Japan, unless they don't make it through his filter.

The Kibo phenomenon should not be limited to a single medium. Obviously,
Kibo has the web-page aspect covered, and grepping USENET these days is
only slightly harder than failing to grep it by inaction.

Kibo can be like the Thunderbirds, where you just tune to a dead channel
and call for Kibo, and he's suddenly there.

Or you could televise a picture of a gas mask on your Cable Access show,
and suddenly Kibo's on your show.

Crap, I'm all out of active or interactive media. Nevermind.

--
"Can't you people only steal the brainwaves that AREN'T in the
sarcastic half of my brain?" -James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com>
YOUR WEBSITE HERE! -->
=== Louis Nick III alt.religion.louis-nick sun...@seanet.com ===

David Pacheco

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Nov 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/28/99
to
In article <81qq7c$t6p$1...@q.seanet.com>, sun...@seanet.com said:
> I was just realizing that you should be able to just pick up the phone
> and say "Kibo" and he'll answer. That, or whenever you're on the phone
> and you mention Kibo's name, he should break into the conversation,
> possibly by say DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY in unison with the caller and call
> recip.

"...When Usenet was young and the info feed was just a trickle, grep
was enough for Kibo to follow all conversations that mentioned his
name."

"In the late 90's, of course, the feed had increased a hundred
thousand times over: a relatively brute force, text-oriented tool
like grep was woefully inadequate to cover all of the information in
a wide variety of formats that were suddenly crisscrossing the
wires."

"In order to devise a technology that would allow Kibo to maintain
his stranglehold on all forms of communication, as well as allow him
to feed his rapidly-growing reputation as an omnipresent being, we
were tasked in 1996 to investigate solutions to the information flow
and analysis problem. We were given unlimited budget and resources,
plus the use of a company car."

"Later that year, we had a solution: a combination of hardware,
software and human ingenuity that would allow us to monitor any
conversation, anywhere, searching for certain key words. In this
case, 'Kibo' and all similar word formats, including encoded and
encrypted. We presented it to Kibo and the entire Inner Council in
a meeting in late 1996."

"I remember being a bit overwhelmed as I entered the War Room and
realized that all of the Kibo's capos and consiglieri were present
sitting around the Cool Table. I only had one chance at this, and
if I failed, it would be in a spectacular fashion."

"I went through me presentation, which lasted for over ninety
minutes. The key points, the technology, the advances in science
and discoveries in quantum technology that would be necessary to
keep this system ahead of the league. The money required... I
remember hearing a gasp when I mentioned the sum, and I gazed
anxiously at Kibo: without the money, there would be no project.
This was going to be an expensive endeavour, there was no doubt
about that, but it required full commitment from the outset. There
could be no budget-cutting in the future if this was expected to
work."

"Kibo paused, his hands tented in front of his face. I was sweating
bullets that were sweating light ammo of their own."

"Finally he spoke: 'Continue.' I breathed again."

"I reached the end of the presentation and took a step backwards
into the shadows of the room. I didn't know what the protocol was,
I had never presented to the entire Council. Usually by this time
someone would be serving cheese and crudités, but security had been
maximized for this presentation, and all serving staff had been pre-
emptively dispatched with extreme prejudice."

"For a full minute, there was silence. No one wanted to say
anything, to sound like they were approving or disapproving, in case
they misjudged the wind and accidentally held an opinion contrary to
Kibo's. Everybody knew what the drainage sluices in the middle of
the room were for, and everyone present had seen them being used at
least once."

"Finally, Kibo spoke from behind his tented hands."

"'What will you call this project?'"

"My heart felt like it was exploding... was he approving the
project? I fumbled for an answer, my mind a complete blank until I
forced myself to concentrate on the one thing that clears my mind
when I become overexcited: the image of my Aunt Zelda in a push-up
bra and rubber hotpants. I finally answered, in the calmest and
most inspiring voice I could conjure up:"

"'The Kibo-Matic Super-Atomic Grepu-lator 2000 X Ultra Enhanced Plus
With Detachable Pseudopod-Like Arms Alpha Zoom-Kablooie Nucleo-
Tronic Excellento-Rama Search Tool of DOOM!'"

"I think that was the first time that Kibo ever shot me. I fell to
the floor of the War Room, clutching my left arm, everything in the
room standing out in fine detail. I could see the little doilies
under the legs of the Cool Table, protecting the stripped pine floor
from scratches. The glimmering pasty white thighs of all of the
members of the Inner Council (the War Room had a strictly enforced
no pants rule). The fact that all of the Inner Council members,
incongruously, were wearing fuzzy slippers."

"In shock from the gunshot wound, I barely reacted as Kibo whipped
around the Cool Table and shoved the barrel of his Beretta between
my teeth and cocked back the hammer."

"'No,' he whispered into my ear. 'You will call it... Echelon.'"

"And then, I passed out."

- Excerpts from "Steaming Bowl of FUKK for the Soul: A Memoir"
by Lord "Little" Fontel-Roi (dec.) Albatross Publications
1999. Printed without persimmon.


[snip]


> The Kibo phenomenon should not be limited to a single medium. Obviously,
> Kibo has the web-page aspect covered, and grepping USENET these days is
> only slightly harder than failing to grep it by inaction.
>
> Kibo can be like the Thunderbirds, where you just tune to a dead channel
> and call for Kibo, and he's suddenly there.
>
> Or you could televise a picture of a gas mask on your Cable Access show,
> and suddenly Kibo's on your show.

Or, you could do extensive amounts of research, get published in a
peer-reviewed journal, have your research paper get quoted in a
dubiously-researched newspaper article supporting some outrageous
claim, which would then act as fodder for left-wing conspiracy
theory-fueled militant extremists, who would publish a web page so
blatantly misguided that someone in alt.religion.kibology would copy
all the text and wackyparse it into a brilliantly funny article,
which Kibo would read and then SPRING INTO ACTION!

Unless you're yellow or gray in his scorefile, in which case you'd
have to start all over again. And what with the time lag for
publication and the whole peer-review process, you could only do
this kind of thing if you didn't really need Kibo that quickly, like
if you wanted him to intervene in the war against plate tectonics.

-dp.
Granted, that kind of
thing happens ALL the
TIME.

Peter Willard

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Nov 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/28/99
to
SOMEONE ELSE WAS USING MY COMPUTER WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN...
Louis Nick III <sun...@seanet.com> wrote in message
news:81qq7c$t6p$1...@q.seanet.com...

> In article <7kpZ3.183$xQ2.3...@news.netdirect.net>,
> rank...@hotmail.com says...
> > There is no context.

A. Check out www.context.org. They're based in Langley, WA, so
maybe I'll swing by on my expedition to gather photographic
evidence of Manley Hubbell.

a. ``Within the Context of No Context, by George W.S. Trow,
Atlantic Monthly Press (1997) ISBN-0871136740 119 pages,
$11.00.`` I recommend this product/service, but don't pay $11.oo
for it as it's only 119 pages. That's like a dime per page, a
quarter per page if you live in Washington State. Dad-burn sells
tax! But, you might consider getting the very special edition,
from Sherwin Beach press (at the obvious url), set in Centaur and
Arrighi, and printed on Johannot. It was casebound, using
Japanese rayon cloth over boards, by Trisha Hammer. 110 pages, 6
x 9 inches. $340 postpaid.

{quote}<--(this is not an html tag so it doesn't need to be
closed)

The work of television is to establish false contexts and to
chronicle the unraveling of existing contexts; finally, to
establish the context of no-context and to chronicle it.--George
W. S. Trow, Within the Context of No Context (1981)

Now it's your turn (be creative!):

The work of usenet is to ___________ and to chronicle the
___________ of _________, finally, to establish __________ and
to chronicle it.

I mention this, since this was beaten into the ground two years
ago by the print media (defunct), ONLY to segué into mentioning
that Sherwin Beach Press also prints a book called, "The Essence
of Beeing"(sic), about BEEkeepers, hand set in 12 and 14 point
Cooper Oldstyle, and printed on Fabriano Roma Michelangelo. It
was casebound, cloth over boards, by Ann Repp, and has a dust
jacket of blind-embossed Roma Raffaello. 45 pages, 9 1/4 x 12
inches. $300 postpaid.

[ I clipped some stuff somewhere but it's three hours later or so
and I have no idea what this thread was about or what I clipped]

> Or you could televise a picture of a gas mask on your Cable
Access show,
> and suddenly Kibo's on your show.
>

> Crap, I'm all out of active or interactive media. Nevermind.

I'd like to see "Kibology Tomorrow" on the public access
hereabouts. Unfortunately, Seattle public access doesn't start
broadcasting until 8 a.m. Such a show should air at 3:30 a.m. It
should only cover new, efficient configurations of tv-sets and
computers to provide maximum comfort and convenience for the
multi-media addict; except for the segment at the end where the
host tries to videotape new dolls at the Toys r us and the
associates attack; this is a reference to a local show about how
Kurt Cobain was murdered but the police are covering it up-- this
is the best-produced show on Seattle access because it's in focus
and he doesn't use merciless posterization like every other show,
unfortunately it's mostly a long close-up of the host's nostrils.
Most of the other shows are out of focus, the color is messed-up,
and they get great delight from the access studio's video
toaster.

SSC: I watch the Eritrean patriotic news show AND the Ethiopian
patriotic news show on access. BUT only for the music, I have no
idea what that war is about and I sure don't take any side in
that one. What's cool about it is that military officials get up
on stage and jam with the band before going off to battle. I
shouldn't post this because there are lots of people from both
sides who have fled to Seattle and they will track me down. I
like pop music when I can't understand the lyrics.

Rebeka Thomas

unread,
Nov 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/28/99
to
> I was just realizing that you should be able to just pick up the
phone
> and say "Kibo" and he'll answer. That, or whenever you're on the
phone
> and you mention Kibo's name, he should break into the
conversation,
> possibly by say DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY in unison with the caller and
call
> recip.
>
> That's why his name is so unusual. And I bet he gets a lot of
calls from
> Japan, unless they don't make it through his filter.
>
> The Kibo phenomenon should not be limited to a single medium.
Obviously,
> Kibo has the web-page aspect covered, and grepping USENET these
days is
> only slightly harder than failing to grep it by inaction.
>
> Kibo can be like the Thunderbirds, where you just tune to a dead
channel
> and call for Kibo, and he's suddenly there.
>
> Or you could televise a picture of a gas mask on your Cable Access
show,
> and suddenly Kibo's on your show.
>
> Crap, I'm all out of active or interactive media. Nevermind.
>

I was under the impression that Kibo had stopped grepping his
newsfeed. i posted to soc.culture.Esperanto asking how to say
"Kibology" in Esperanto and he didn't break in the conversation even
though i asked him to.

Louis Nick III

unread,
Dec 3, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/3/99
to
Here's the post I forgot to post last Tuesday:

In article <kibo-03129...@192.168.1.201>, ki...@world.std.com
(James "Kibo" Parry) says...


> Louis Nick III (sun...@seanet.com) wrote:
> > Or you could televise a picture of a gas mask on your Cable Access show,
> > and suddenly Kibo's on your show.
>

> Better yet, just force everyone to talk about nothing but Kibo.
> Then wherever I go people will think they're special because they
> obvious are completely controlling my choice of where to go. SUCKERS!
> THEY TRICKED ME INTO FEELING IMPORTANT JUST BY SPENDING EVERY WAKING
> MOMENT TALKING ABOUT ME!!!

Kibo-

Send Gasmask quick!

-Louis

James Kibo Parry

unread,
Dec 4, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/4/99
to
Louis Nick III (sun...@seanet.com) wrote:
>
> I was just realizing that you should be able to just pick up the phone
> and say "Kibo" and he'll answer. That, or whenever you're on the phone
> and you mention Kibo's name, he should break into the conversation,
> possibly by say DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY in unison with the caller and call
> recip.
>
> That's why his name is so unusual. And I bet he gets a lot of calls from
> Japan, unless they don't make it through his filter.
>
> The Kibo phenomenon should not be limited to a single medium. Obviously,
> Kibo has the web-page aspect covered, and grepping USENET these days is
> only slightly harder than failing to grep it by inaction.
>
> Kibo can be like the Thunderbirds, where you just tune to a dead channel
> and call for Kibo, and he's suddenly there.
>
> Or you could televise a picture of a gas mask on your Cable Access show,
> and suddenly Kibo's on your show.

Better yet, just force everyone to talk about nothing but Kibo.
Then wherever I go people will think they're special because they
obvious are completely controlling my choice of where to go. SUCKERS!
THEY TRICKED ME INTO FEELING IMPORTANT JUST BY SPENDING EVERY WAKING
MOMENT TALKING ABOUT ME!!!

-- K.

And now you know the REST of the story.

Chris Costello

unread,
Dec 4, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/4/99
to
In alt.religion.kibology James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> Better yet, just force everyone to talk about nothing but Kibo.

They should teach Kibology in science classes in elementary
schools.

- Chris Costello <ch...@FreeBSD.org>

James Kibo Parry

unread,
Dec 4, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/4/99
to
Chris Costello (ch...@FreeBSD.org) wrote:

>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Better yet, just force everyone to talk about nothing but Kibo.
>
> They should teach Kibology in science classes in elementary
> schools.

They should force everyone to talk about nothing but Kibo while in
elementary school, and everyone would have to be in elementary school
at all times. Also, mentioning Einstein's Theory Of Relativity would
be forbidden because it's just a theory. Also, pi would be redefined
to have a higher last digit because I want more circumference on my pizza.
And the punishment for not talking about Kibo in class would be
TO DRINK ARONIA JUICE UNTIL YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL ARONIA JUICE IS!

-- K.

(drinking aronia juice,
for the first and last time)

Chris Costello

unread,
Dec 4, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/4/99
to
In alt.religion.kibology James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> They should force everyone to talk about nothing but Kibo while in
> elementary school, and everyone would have to be in elementary school
> at all times. Also, mentioning Einstein's Theory Of Relativity would
> be forbidden because it's just a theory. Also, pi would be redefined
> to have a higher last digit because I want more circumference on my pizza.

Area is where it's at! Instead of pie are squared, it should
be pie are times ten to the twenty-fifth. With lots of tomato
sauce, which I actually enjoy (no joking).

> And the punishment for not talking about Kibo in class would be
> TO DRINK ARONIA JUICE UNTIL YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL ARONIA JUICE IS!

What about that fake Dr. Pepper that tastes like bees? Why
not that?

- Chris Costello <ch...@FreeBSD.org>

Ranjit Bhatnagar

unread,
Dec 4, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/4/99
to
In alt.religion.kibology James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> ... Also, mentioning Einstein's Theory Of Relativity would

> be forbidden because it's just a theory. Also, pi would be redefined
> to have a higher last digit because I want more circumference on my pizza.

DON'T DO IT! THE CIRCUMFERENCE IS STUFFED WITH CHEEEEEESE!

Also, I first wrote that as "cirfumference."

And what's with those subway ads that say ACRE A TEA SIT COMB?

Finally, I read the subject as "Ways You Can Tell Someone
Else Has Been Using Your Cooter." 911 EXIT TO REALITY[tm]!
Lydian's Mom will now explain the joke.

r.

--
If I have not seen as far as others, CAN DEEP, DEEP FEELINGS BE
it is because giants have been standing EXPRESSED THROUGH PIXELS?
on my shoulders. http://www.pixeltime.com

David O'Bedlam, Ersatz Haderach

unread,
Dec 12, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/12/99
to
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

On Sun, 28 Nov 1999, Peter Willard wrote:

[...]

The work of usenet is to BEG FOR BLOWJOBS and to chronicle the
DIFFICULTY of GETTING BLOWJOBS, finally, to establish WHETHER
I WILL EVER GET A BLOWJOB and to chronicle it. (OR NOT.)

(So how'd I do?)


The

- --
"It never occurred to me to think of Sara Teasdale as sarcastic." -ME
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEND ME AND/OR LAYO MONEY! > P.O. Box 236, Berkeley, CA 94704 U.S.A
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Anastasia screamed in vain." | "No, I swear, I don't have a gun."

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Shiro Akaishi

unread,
Dec 13, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/13/99
to

>On Sun, 28 Nov 1999, Peter Willard wrote:
>
>[...]
>
> The work of usenet is to BEG FOR BLOWJOBS and to chronicle the
> DIFFICULTY of GETTING BLOWJOBS, finally, to establish WHETHER
> I WILL EVER GET A BLOWJOB and to chronicle it. (OR NOT.)
>
>(So how'd I do?)

You realize there is a HAWT CHYK (I seen pics) somewhere in the internet
who has told me that she will climb through my window and know me carnally
while wearing an iMac grrl costume if - IF - I construct said costume. It's
given me HOPE dammit and now all your talk of potbellied freaks (my annual
dues are paid up, really) not getting FELLATED are bringing me back down.
STOPpIT! Now where's that liquid latex?

--
//\ ICQ: 26175196
(/__\
/). \.
/


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