Gay Atoms
Andrew Pearson
blinking in the unexpected glare)...
Does anyone know what colour plutonium atoms are? Are they purple? I
suspect they may be gay. I'm gay as a picnic basket and we can tell.
(This is the result of seeing a purple Alfa-Romeo when I was young...
those cars have triangle-shaped badges, so of course as soon as I saw
that potent combination of homo-erotic symbols I instantly became a
rampant homosexual. In fact, I drive a purple car on purpose now, to
make people gay. It has a breakdown warning triangle in the boot -
sorry, trunk - and when I feel like some fun I drive round till I find
a bunch of people, stop, get the triangle out and yell over to them.
If they look, then as soon as they get a jolt of purple and a triangle
they all turn gay - it's great fun+ACE- Usually they all grow thick black
mustaches instantly and run into the nearest shop to buy Abba and
Village People albums and teletubbies videos and leather bike jackets
and so on. Except for the ones who were gay already, they become
teletubbies).
So then I remembered that the sexuality of atoms was discovered by the
ancient greek scientist, Archimedes. Plutonium for instance is
probably called pu because it's short for purple, the ga- Oh no+ACE- I
accidentally typed Archimedes Plutonium+ACE- WAAH+ACE- now I'll be sued for
accidentalwordconnectionbombing even though I live thousands of miles
away in another country.
Runs snivelling back into the outer darkness... waah... blub... I
gonna go and lurk in a safe newsgroup where they've never heard of
Aristophanes Poltroonium... you won't have Pearson to be totally
unaware of any more... whimper...
+AF8-
And I don't have a .sig file either. If you pronounce .sig file right
it has the same rhythm as Robin Hood, or Sywalker, or Dr. Who. +ACI-Ah+ACE-
.sig file, you won't escape me this time+ACEAIg-.
Anti-Blair
> ) ancient greek scientist, Archimedes. Plutonium for instance is
> ) probably called pu because it's short for purple, the ga- Oh no+ACE- I
> ) accidentally typed Archimedes Plutonium+ACE- WAAH+ACE- now I'll be sued for
> ) accidentalwordconnectionbombing even though I live thousands of miles
> ) away in another country.
I'm afraid your post detonated too soon.
I really must have a word with you about timing devices.
--
Fé mháts énéarha ésma; iufúe dólha sóentrides ódoem ésri.
Fé bhúearai ósraha ésma; iufúe áuaen bhúearai shahém éssa.
Member of Haitian Umbralatti: smj...@my-dejanews.com
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Studios/5079/index.html
No Andrea Chens were harmed in the writing of this missive.
The Avocado Avenger
>Does anyone know what colour plutonium atoms are? Are they purple? I
>suspect they may be gay. I'm gay as a picnic basket and we can tell.
Just yesterday I heard the phrase "gay as an Easter bonnet". Is there
anything you can think of that can't be referred to as gay, or know
someone who does?
Also, and this has no bearing on being gay or anything, but someone I
went to high school with is an original cast member of the Broadway show
"Footloose". He's even an understudy of the male lead, hopefully not
played by Martin Landau.
>If they look, then as soon as they get a jolt of purple and a triangle
>they all turn gay - it's great fun+ACE- Usually they all grow thick black
>mustaches instantly and run into the nearest shop to buy Abba and
>Village People albums
SSC: The first music I ever purchased was the 45 for "YMCA". It turned
me into a gay male instantly.
>So then I remembered that the sexuality of atoms was discovered by the
>ancient greek scientist, Archimedes. Plutonium for instance is
>probably called pu because it's short for purple, the ga- Oh no+ACE- I
>accidentally typed Archimedes Plutonium+ACE- WAAH+ACE- now I'll be sued for
>accidentalwordconnectionbombing even though I live thousands of miles
>away in another country.
I'd like to hire you to tutor me in web searches please. Thanks you.
Stacia * The Avocado Avenger * Life is a tale told by an idiot;
http://www.io.com/~stacia/ * Full of sound and fury,
Remove the guacamole to reply! * Signifying nothing.
bea...@my-dejanews.com
I don't NORMALLY follow up to my own posts, but:
In article <7a73rk$qir$1...@hiram.io.com>,
sta...@io.com.guacamole (The Avocado Avenger) wrote:
> "Andrew Pearson" <apea...@pt.lu> writes:
>
> >Does anyone know what colour plutonium atoms are? Are they purple? I
> >suspect they may be gay. I'm gay as a picnic basket and we can tell.
>
> Just yesterday I heard the phrase "gay as an Easter bonnet". Is there
> anything you can think of that can't be referred to as gay, or know
> someone who does?
What's BIG and BLACK and FUKKS RABBITS?
A 12 gauge SHOTGUN!!1! HAHAHAHAHaAaAAa!!1! There's NOTHING
gay about SHOTGUNS!!1!
What's SMALL and PURPLE and FUKKS RABBITS?
CALICIVIRUS!!1!!1!!1!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!! Calicivirus is GAY!!!1!
And now, a poem:
Myxomatosis by Spike Milligan.
A baby rabbit
With eyes full of pus
This is the work
Of scientific us.
See??? Scientists KILL RABBITS!!1! JUST LIKE
CALICIVIRUS!!111!!! JOE BAY IS A SCIENTIST!!1!!
JOE BAY IS GAY!@!!!! JOE BAY KILLS RABBITS!!!!!1
RUN CHLOE!!11! RUN FOR YOUR VERY LIFE!@!!!!!
> Also, and this has no bearing on being gay or anything, but someone I
> went to high school with is an original cast member of the Broadway show
> "Footloose". He's even an understudy of the male lead, hopefully not
> played by Martin Landau.
Oh YEAH! Wearing those REALLY TIGHT PANTS so that EVRYBODY
can see what RELIGION you are and doing those FAGGY dances,
that's NOTHING to do with being GAY at ALL!!!11!
> >If they look, then as soon as they get a jolt of purple and a triangle
> >they all turn gay - it's great fun+ACE- Usually they all grow thick black
> >mustaches instantly and run into the nearest shop to buy Abba and
> >Village People albums
>
> SSC: The first music I ever purchased was the 45 for "YMCA". It turned
> me into a gay male instantly.
I was at the music store yesterday, and I was buying
Johnny Cash's "American Recordings". And then I thought,
HEY! Better get some Grateful Dead while I'm here. BUT!
The guy in front of me was buying this GINORMOUS "KISS
BOX SET". Does that mean he's gay? I was sort of wondering,
maybe I should have bought KISS instead of Johnny Cash
and Grateful Dead? But anyway, thinking about that
made me vomit tears of blood through my eyes!!1!
Then I checked the CDs I was buying, and HALLELUJAH!!
I FEEL GOOD! I also had "James Brown Live at the Apollo
Theatre, Vol 2"!!111! PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG!!!1!
So I was happy that I didn't buy any KISS!!
Then I fled in fear from the "Pop" floor, back to the
safety of the "Jazz" floor. There I purchased the
aforementioned Johnny Cash CD, (because of course
Country is on the same floor as Jazz, sorry if I
misled you before. It's too late to change it now),
and two John Coltrane CDs. YAY!! John Coltrane!
Again I was happy not to purchase KISS!!!1!
Then I went to the "Reggae" floor and purchased
a Wailers triple CD pack, and a bunch of Burning
Spear. And Beenie Man's "Maestro". The Beenie
Man CD had a "Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics!"
sticker. Isn't it strange that they feel it's
necessary to warn the PARENTS that they might
be offended? I remember when I was a kid:
"Go to bed now. There are some TV shows coming
on with rude words, and it might be bad for
you to hear them, FUKK YEAH!". WHUPS! Sorry!
I made this post long and boring!
cheers
beable van polasm
--
They can have the pencils from my nose when they can pry them
from my cold dead nostrils!
VIVA LA REVOLUTION! -- Dean Lenort
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
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Nathan F Miller
>"Andrew Pearson" <apea...@pt.lu> writes:
>
>>Does anyone know what colour plutonium atoms are? Are they purple? I
>>suspect they may be gay. I'm gay as a picnic basket and we can tell.
I don't think that's good enuf. You need to be as gay as New Orleans
during the Mardi Gras before you can get subatomic subcultural physics
phunding.
> Just yesterday I heard the phrase "gay as an Easter bonnet". Is there
>anything you can think of that can't be referred to as gay, or know
>someone who does?
As gay as old oatmeal. (That's too easy. There must be something
horribly WRONG.)
> Also, and this has no bearing on being gay or anything, but someone I
>went to high school with is an original cast member of the Broadway show
>"Footloose". He's even an understudy of the male lead, hopefully not
>played by Martin Landau.
So what you're _hinting_ at is that he's "a little bit loose in
the loafers" eh? I can see through your subtlefudge.
ObFame: I have peed next to William F. Buckley Jr. This also has no
bearing on being gay or anything. DON"T ANYBODY EMAIL ME BACK LOOKING
FOR WILDE STORIES OR SEKRIT INFO. I DID NOT LOOK.
>>If they look, then as soon as they get a jolt of purple and a triangle
>>they all turn gay - it's great fun+ACE- Usually they all grow thick black
>>mustaches instantly and run into the nearest shop to buy Abba and
>>Village People albums
I tried this, but the result was goatees / Deeee-Lite albums.
--Nathan
Joseph Michael Bay
>What's BIG and BLACK and FUKKS RABBITS?
>A 12 gauge SHOTGUN!!1! HAHAHAHAHaAaAAa!!1! There's NOTHING
>gay about SHOTGUNS!!1!
I like to pump shotguns, and make stuff shoot out the end. But
I really enjoy using that pipe cleaner and a little grease on
them. Nope, shotguns sure ain't gay.
>See??? Scientists KILL RABBITS!!1! JUST LIKE
>CALICIVIRUS!!111!!! JOE BAY IS A SCIENTIST!!1!!
>JOE BAY IS GAY!@!!!! JOE BAY KILLS RABBITS!!!!!1
JOE BAY IS BIG AND BLACK!!!!!1
JOE BAY IS A BAD MUTHA^H^H^H^H^HBADTZ-MARU!!!!!
>RUN CHLOE!!11! RUN FOR YOUR VERY LIFE!@!!!!!
>and two John Coltrane CDs. YAY!! John Coltrane!
>Again I was happy not to purchase KISS!!!1!
Yeah, because KISS are as gay as a John Coltrane! I WANT TO TALK
ABOUT YOU, SEXY BEABLE MAN! I WROTE THIS THEME FOR ERNIE, THE GAY
MUPPET!!!!!1
BOYS IN BIKER JACKETS WITH LONG DARK EYELASHES
MUSCLULAR BALD GUYS WITH THICK BLACK MOUSTACHES
HAVING LANCE SPANK MY UNTIL MY BUTT STINGS
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY Oh sod it.
--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
Putting the HARM in molecular pHARMacology since 1998
"Bother," said Pooh, as he gazed upon the unspeakable visage of Cthulhu.
Shlurp. Shlurp. *BOING*. Shlurp. Shlurp. *BOING*. Shlurp. Shlurp. *BOING*.
bea...@my-dejanews.com
jm...@leland.Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) wrote:
> bea...@my-dejanews.com writes:
>
> >What's BIG and BLACK and FUKKS RABBITS?
>
> >A 12 gauge SHOTGUN!!1! HAHAHAHAHaAaAAa!!1! There's NOTHING
> >gay about SHOTGUNS!!1!
>
> I like to pump shotguns, and make stuff shoot out the end. But
> I really enjoy using that pipe cleaner and a little grease on
> them. Nope, shotguns sure ain't gay.
Hmmmmm. Speaking of SHOTGUNS, I note that TERRI has
SHACKED UP with some d00d named BB!!1! (HAW HAW THAT'S
FUN'NI BEKOZ BB MEENS "BALL BEARING"!!!!11!! HAWHAW!!!1!)
SO SHORE TERRI!!!1! JUST DUMP ME FOR SOME BALL BEARING
D00D!!!1!!!
> >See??? Scientists KILL RABBITS!!1! JUST LIKE
> >CALICIVIRUS!!111!!! JOE BAY IS A SCIENTIST!!1!!
> >JOE BAY IS GAY!@!!!! JOE BAY KILLS RABBITS!!!!!1
>
> JOE BAY IS BIG AND BLACK!!!!!1
>
> JOE BAY IS A BAD MUTHA^H^H^H^H^HBADTZ-MARU!!!!!
Badtz Maru is what the crow out of the Hello Kitty
show (which is called "Kitty Paradisu") has got
written on his t-shirt. Also, they have cartoons
of Hello Kitty on the show, AND HELLO KITTY MOST
DEFINITELY HAS A MOUTH!!!1! And a sister too.
I don't know what Badtz Maru means, except that
maru means circle, and is also used in ships' names.
BEKOZ SHIPS ARE CIRCULARRRRRRRR!!!!1!!
AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!! SOME PIRATISM!!1!
> >RUN CHLOE!!11! RUN FOR YOUR VERY LIFE!@!!!!!
>
> >and two John Coltrane CDs. YAY!! John Coltrane!
> >Again I was happy not to purchase KISS!!!1!
>
> Yeah, because KISS are as gay as a John Coltrane! I WANT TO TALK
> ABOUT YOU, SEXY BEABLE MAN! I WROTE THIS THEME FOR ERNIE, THE GAY
> MUPPET!!!!!1
YOU'RE TOOTIN' FOR A ROOTIN', MIGHTY JOE GAY!^H^H^H^HBAY!!!1!
That reminds me of Maso. He used to say:
"Here is what you say if a girl asks you for a lift home:
'BEND OVER BAYBEE, I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME!!!1!!'". And then
he would laugh a really goofy laugh. AND HE WOULD SAY THIS
QUITE OFTEN!!1! AND LAUGH EVERY TIME!!1! WHAT A MAROON!
> BOYS IN BIKER JACKETS WITH LONG DARK EYELASHES
> MUSCLULAR BALD GUYS WITH THICK BLACK MOUSTACHES
> HAVING LANCE SPANK MY UNTIL MY BUTT STINGS
> THESE ARE A FEW OF MY Oh sod it.
HAW HAW THATZ FUNNY BECOZ SOD IT IS *EXACTLY* WOT A
BIG GAY WOULD DO!!11! HAW HAW!!!111!! So Joe, are
you suggesting that since Lleah dumped you, and
Terri appears to be HINTING that she's dumped me,
THAT WE TURN GAY?????//? TERRI AND LLEAH TURNED
ME AND JOE BAY GAY!!!1! WHAT'S NEXT???/? WILL WE
TURN COMMUNIST AND START USING *DRUGS*??? GASP!!
cheers
beable van polasm
--
I dreamt I was eating hot dogs, and when I woke up three of my fingers
were missing! And so was my meat pillow! I mean my husband!
-- David Pacheco THAT QUOTE LOOKS A BIT GAY TOO!!!11
MAYBE DAVID PASTINKO IS GAY ALSO!! MENAGE A TROIS!!11!!
The Avocado Avenger
>HAW HAW!!!111!! So Joe, are
>you suggesting that since Lleah dumped you, and
>Terri appears to be HINTING that she's dumped me,
>THAT WE TURN GAY?????//? TERRI AND LLEAH TURNED
>ME AND JOE BAY GAY!!!1! WHAT'S NEXT???/? WILL WE
>TURN COMMUNIST AND START USING *DRUGS*??? GASP!!
Terri and Lleah turned me into a Communist drug, and by that I mean they
turned me into Marxist Toffee-Flavored Codeine.
>I dreamt I was eating hot dogs, and when I woke up three of my fingers
>were missing! And so was my meat pillow! I mean my husband!
>-- David Pacheco THAT QUOTE LOOKS A BIT GAY TOO!!!11
>MAYBE DAVID PASTINKO IS GAY ALSO!! MENAGE A TROIS!!11!!
Is David's husband purple? If he isn't, then David's not gay!
What does this mean for the purple level of Kibo's newsfilter?
Joseph Michael Bay
>> JOE BAY IS A BAD MUTHA^H^H^H^H^HBADTZ-MARU!!!!!
>Badtz Maru is what the crow out of the Hello Kitty
>show (which is called "Kitty Paradisu") has got
>written on his t-shirt.
Bad Badtz Maru is a FUKKEN PENGUIN, you TROLLING BASTARD!
>BEKOZ SHIPS ARE CIRCULARRRRRRRR!!!!1!!
>AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!! SOME PIRATISM!!1!
YM "PRIAPISM". HTH!
>ME AND JOE BAY GAY!!!1! WHAT'S NEXT???/? WILL WE
>TURN COMMUNIST AND START USING *DRUGS*??? GASP!!
Gosh, that would be a stretch.
Noah A Christis
Michael Bay) wrote:
>bea...@my-dejanews.com writes:
>
>>> JOE BAY IS A BAD MUTHA^H^H^H^H^HBADTZ-MARU!!!!!
>
>>Badtz Maru is what the crow out of the Hello Kitty
>>show (which is called "Kitty Paradisu") has got
>>written on his t-shirt.
>
>Bad Badtz Maru is a FUKKEN PENGUIN, you TROLLING BASTARD!
[x]
^
badtz
[o]
^
maru
pin pon
---
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dit,
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daw dit daw,
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dit daw dit dit,
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-brane van polasm