[Eva][FanFic] Neon Exodus Evangelion 3:5 - CONNECTIONS III

[Benjamin D. Hutchins]

/* Genesis "Land of Confusion" (Extended CD-single version) */

EYRIE PRODUCTIONS, UNLIMITED
presents

NEON EXODUS EVANGELION

EXODUS 3:5 - CONNECTIONS III

Inspired by NEON GENESIS EVANGELION created by Hideaki Anno, Gainax,
et al.

Most characters created by Hideaki Anno and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
except

DJ Croft created by Benjamin D. Hutchins
and
Jon Ellison created by Larry Mann

Additional material and inspiration cadged from TOMB RAIDER by Core
Design, Ltd., X-COM: UFO DEFENSE and sequels from MPS Labs (whoever
owns them nowadays), THE X-FILES created by Chris Carter,
IN NOMINE by Derek Pearcy and Steve Jackson Games (after Croc),
and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY by Arthur C. Clarke

Written by Benjamin D. Hutchins, Larry Mann,
MegaZone and John Trussell

Aided and abetted by the Eyrie Productions, Unlimited crew
and special-guest-for-life Phil Moyer

(c) 1998 Eyrie Productions, Unlimited

Praying he could keep the wheels on the road in this rain, DJ
Croft held his motorcycle's throttle as far open as it would go. He
spared no thoughts for the idea of police intervention; it never
occurred to him at all. The rain pounded against him, soaking his
clothing further and making his grip on the handlebars less than
certain. It lashed against his uncovered face and squinting eyes,
reducing his vision, but he dared not slacken his pace. If he didn't
make it, he didn't make it; but no one would ever be able to say he
didn't try his damnedest.
The lights above Interstate 290 whipped past, the rhythmic
flash against the wet pavement providing a counterpoint to the throb
of the Corley's engine that, under other circumstances, he would have
found most interesting. At the moment, he paid it no attention at
all; all of his mental ability was directed toward the single goal of
keeping the motorcycle upright and under control while making it go as
fast as possible toward its destination.
He would never remember exactly how he did it, but somehow, he
made it to Ritsuko's alive. He kicked down the Corley's kickstand
even as his thumb hit the engine cutoff, and on a good day would then
have set the bike down and jumped off in one smooth motion. This was
not a good day, and so the smooth motion wound up being more like a
headlong sprawl on the driveway and then a crazed scramble back to his
feet, all momentum and no grace, but at least he didn't knock over the
bike.
He ran up the stairs onto the porch of the modest frame
dwelling. The porch light and the living room lights were all off,
and from within, he could hear music: a haunting, melancholy violin,
being played by a master with such emotion that the instrument sounded
as if it were crying and mourning a lost love.

/* Itzhak Perlman "Theme from Schindler's List" _Schindler's List_ */

The front door, of course, was locked.
DJ pounded on the door, but there was no answer. He called
her name and hammered harder; again there was no reply. Sickened by
the thought that he might already be too late, with no regard for his
safety, he drove his left fist through the door's window, then reached
inside and unlocked the door. He barely noticed as the jagged glass
slashed his arm, opening a bloody gash.
He swung the door open violently and flicked the lights to
life, unsure what he might find.
The living room was empty, save for the slightly alarmed
tortoise-shell cat who had been napping on the couch. DJ ran to the
back of the room, calling Ritsuko's name and searching. No one in the
kitchen. No one in the small dining room. No one in the master
bedroom. No one in the guest room. No one in the closet.
He found her in the bathtub, looking for all the world like a
tired professional woman settling down for a nice, relaxing, steaming
hot soak, complete with fragrant bath salts and the whole nine yards,
hair wrapped carefully in a towel. For just an instant as he
barrelled through the bathroom door, DJ wondered if he had
misinterpreted her message - if she was just going on vacation and he
hadn't heard - if he had just barged in on exactly what it looked
like.
Before he noticed the gleaming silver scalpel in her right
hand, which she was just about to apply to the pale flesh of her
upturned left wrist.
As ever, DJ didn't think about what he was about to do - he
just did it. He dove forward, pushing her left hand away with his
right just as she brought the blade down. The razor-sharp blade bit
him as Ritsuko, unable to stop it, drew the line that would have begun
ending her life. DJ grunted in pain. Shocked by his sudden arrival,
Ritsuko released her hold on the scalpel. His left hand completed the
swing it had started and knocked the scapel from her hand, to clatter
to the tile on the other side of the room.
Momentum spent, DJ settled onto his knees next to the tub,
leaning back a bit, and watched with curious detachment as the towel
around her head came undone and slipped away into the water.
"Ritsuko, what in God's name - ?"
"What does it look like?" Ritsuko replied. Her voice held no
scorn; just a tired resignation. It didn't seem to bother her that
the boy had just charged in and found her naked in her bathtub - but
then, given what she'd been about to do, why should it?
"A mistake," DJ replied, trying valiantly to slow his pulse,
calm his panting breath, and face the situation with the calm he knew
he would need to come through it successfully.
"The mistake was that I didn't do it sooner," replied Ritsuko.
"I could have saved everyone a lot of trouble. Can I have my scalpel
back, please?" Then, almost as an afterthought, "You don't have to
stay and watch if you don't want."
"No, you bloody well may not have your scalpel back!" replied
DJ, outraged. "You think I would sit here and just let you kill
yourself?"
"Why not? You don't like me, and I imagine your life would be
easier without me, right?." Her words held no bitterness. In fact,
her words seemed to hold no emotion at all. That frightened DJ more
than anything. He would have rather had her raging at him than hear
that flat tone.
DJ gazed at her for several seconds, the anger in his eyes
cooling rapidly and settling into a low melancholy. When he spoke, it
was with none of the strident indignance of his earlier tone:
"You really believe that?"
"It's the truth."
"No... I'm afraid it isn't. I'm sorry if I've given that
impression, because it's really not true." He sighed. "We may not
exactly be close friends, but I don't really dislike you. We just got
off on the wrong foot, is all."
Ritsuko shook her head solemnly. "Do you know... " She
sniffed, then sobbed, tears tracking down her face. "Do you know how
many times I wrote you off? You and all the others? Sent you off to
fight without really expecting you to return?"
DJ nodded. "But I just keep coming back, don't I? Look, I
don't hold it against you. You were just doing your job... trying to
run the project as efficiently as possible..."
"My -job-?!" Ritsuko sobbed even louder, tears streaming down
her face. "I was doing what I was TOLD! By that... that... that
m-m-monster Ikari! Christ, I'm just like him. 'I was just following
orders'..." She curled up in the tub, hugging her knees close to her.
"God forgive me, I'm just like him. How did I let it go this far?"
DJ tried not to let it show, but inside, he was starting to
feel very uncertain of his ability to bring this situation to a happy
ending. Nothing in his variegated life had really prepared him for a
situation like this.
"Ritsuko, it's no sin to be deceived. That's what the Enemy
does best. We were all taken in by what they did to Ikari."
"You don't understand!" Ritsuko cried, sobbing. "I wasn't
just fooled, I thought I was right! I was so -dedicated- to the man.
I did whatever he told me, thought whatever he told me to, believed in
everything he stood for. And all the time, I thought I was doing the
-right thing-! The faithful servant, never questioning. He defined
my -world-!" Then, almost to quiet to hear, she added, "And I let
him."
"He was your teacher," DJ observed. "Of course you believed
in him. We all have people we need to believe in. You couldn't know
what Ikari was. No one..."
"You knew! You knew right from the beginning that something
was wrong. You never trusted him, you were always wary around him. A
fourteen-year-old boy knew in a few moments what I'd missed for ten
years. I feel like such a fool, to be tricked so easily."
"It's easier to fool you, because you trust people. I'm a
cynic. Despite my youth I've seen a lot more of the seamy side of
humanity than you have, and I know how far back in human history it
goes. But don't give me too much credit," said DJ, venturing to put
his hand on her shoulder. "I just thought he was a regular old
bastard. I never questioned his motives until very recently. I
thought he was just a ruthless obsessive. Dangerous perhaps, cold
definitely, but not evil. I didn't like the man, but I never
suspected the full truth."
"Do you realize that I've been working for him almost as long
as you've been alive? I've been with NERV almost from the start.
Almost everything NERV is and does stems from my work." She lifted
her hands from the water and stared at them like Lady Macbeth. "How
many people have paid for my willful blindness?"
DJ was about to respond when he noticed something that brought
him up short: her forearms were ruddy with something. For a brief
moment he thought perhaps he had been too late after all, and had been
sitting here chatting with a woman bleeding to death. That brought a
fresh wave of panic that was only partially offset by the realization
that it wasn't blood. Still shaken, DJ did what came naturally: he
asked about it.
"What's that?" he asked, gesturing with his chin.
"Hmm? What's what?"
"That stuff on your arms."
"Oh, that. It's betadine - a topical antiseptic solution."
"Oh, of course. Wouldn't want to get an infection, would we."
Ritsuko looked at him for a long moment; the faintest hint
of a grin appeared on her face when she realized how ridiculous it was
really.
To DJ it was like the sun coming up after a long night.

"DJ?" Misato called his name as she observed the jacket and
helmet tossed haphazardly on the kitchen table. There was no answer.
She ventured further into the apartment, noticing the bathroom light
was on. Poking her head in she found his HALcomm unit resting on the
edge of the basin, and a wet towel carelessly discarded in the corner.
"Well, that's not like him," she muttered to herself. A
slight grin crossed her face. Maybe he was in a hurry for a reason,
she thought. She knocked on his bedroom door. "DJ? Are you in
there? Can I come in?"
No answer again. Sleeping maybe? She poked her head into his
room. Nope, empty. Hmm.
She moved along to the next room. Knocking on the door she
called, "Asuka? DJ? Anyone in there?"
Still no answer. Should I check? she asked herself. Well, it
is my house, she justified. Nope. No one in there either.
"Hal?"
"Yes, Misato?"
"Where's DJ?"
"I don't know. He arrived home some time ago, but he left in
a hurry shortly thereafter, and failed to take his HALcomm unit with
him. That is quite unlike him. I'm concerned," the computer
admitted.
"You and me both. Do you know why he left?"
"I'm sorry, I was not monitoring him closely. He rushed out
before I could ask him."
"That's OK, Hal. I'm sure he's all right."
I wish I really was sure, she thought.

Rei Ayanami sat in the Lower Wedge, gazing at the holographic
eyecatches of the Tempest 5000 machine. Her face, as usual, betrayed
nothing of what might be going on behind it.
As Kevin entered the Upper Wedge with Jon in tow, he turned to
his tormented friend and said, "You'd better wait here for the
moment. I'll bring her to you when she's ready."
Jon, shivering with a combination of despair and the effort of
restraining the shrieking voice of mayhem, nodded miserably and sank
into one of the Wedge benches, pulling his knees to his chest and
wrapping his arms around them.
"I won't be long," said Kevin softly; then he turned and
entered the Lower Wedge.
Rei's scarlet eyes flicked away from the T5K machine as the
angel approached her, but she did not otherwise react until he took
one of the observers' gallery chairs, slid it in front of her, and sat
backward on it, his arms crossed over the top.
Then she studied his pale face, white hair and red eyes for a
moment before observing softly and matter-of-factly,
"I know you."
"How much do you remember, Reilael?" asked Kevin.
Rei's right hand closed convulsively into a fist, and her
eyes squeezed shut. "...... Nothing. I am not Reilael."
Kevin shook his head slowly. "I can hear your celestial
genes," he said. "I was uncertain before, when in hiding my song from
the Enemy I muffled my own hearing, but... I cannot mistake you now."
"You're wrong," said Rei flatly.
"No," said Kevin. His face was sympathetic as he said, "They
told you that you were like Jon, didn't they? That they had made you?
They were afraid you would remember."
Rei turned to Kevin, her eyes flashing with anger, and her
voice rose to a shout: "Leave me alone! I don't WANT to remember!"
Then she turned away, with a quick, angry motion, and glared at the
mural on the far wall.
"Nor do I," Kevin replied sadly. "It was a terrible
thing, but you must remember now. You must take back what was
stolen from you." He paused, then added gravely: "Jon's soul
may well depend on it."
She turned to face him fully, and found herself looking
into a pair of eyes as red as hers, eyes which seemed to peer
past her own, touching something beyond...
A melody?
A memory.
"Tabris... you were there."
"Yes," said Tabris, nodding. "I was there, at the South
Pole, on the first of April in the year 2000. I was there... with
you."

For what needed to happen this day, a place which was 'out
of the way' was needed. There weren't many of those left on Earth
anymore, except for Antarctica. A small science and military
expedition was present, but they would not notice anything out of
the ordinary; the Songs would see to that.
"Tabris," the Cherub inquired. "Is everything prepared?"
"All is in readiness," the other replied.
The Cherub and her Elohite mediator waited in silence, amid
the swirling, icy winds of the Antarctic wasteland. Those they had
come to meet would be here shortly. She still felt it was not
entirely wise to have only two angels, no matter how powerful, to
meet the beings they were about to deal with. But by the same token,
anyone else would make this secret meeting no longer secret, and
that could not happen.
Tabris suddenly looked up, his eyes narrowing as he peered
through the snow with sight beyond the visual.
"They come," he announced.
"Are they alone?"
"I sense no one else," Tabris replied.
Despite her briefings and intense preparations for this
moment, Reilael was, deep down, still surprised. The Lightbringer
truly meant what he had said?

"... Lucifer... and Moloch," Rei whispered haltingly.
"They came to you, for protection."

Despite having been the case officer assigned to this, the
most monumental of all defections, despite having handled countless
clandestine communiques from the Pit over the two-hundred-mortal-year
period known in Heaven's most closely guarded circles as "the
Ambivalence", Reilael had never seen Lucifer. She was a fairly young
angel, to whom the Fall was a history lesson rather than a painful
personal memory, and there were many in Heaven who believed she lacked
the power and experience necessary to handle such a critical
redemption. No one, though, not even crusty Michael, Archangel of
War, could fault her dedication - and so she went.
As the two figures emerged from the blowing snow before her,
she was surprised by their appearance. During all her correspondence
with the two defectors, she'd formed an unconscious mental expectation
of what they would look like, and this was not it.
The bigger one, standing slightly behind and to the right of
the other, would have to be Moloch, the Demon Prince of Fire.
Lucifer's most - some would say only - trusted ally in Hell, his right
hand during the events leading up to the Fall, Moloch was said to have
a slow but terrible temper. Reilael wondered at the paradox he
presented - the Fallen were said to have got that way through
overweening selfishness, yet Moloch, if the stories were to be
believed, had Fallen only because he had refused to leave his friend's
side. Was that not the epitome of selflessness?
She shook off her reverie and chided herself. The first
century's worth of communication with Hell over this had been with
Moloch; she had known him longer, in a sense, and had come to
empathize with him, but now was not the time to be ruminating over
such issues. Instead she took a good, long first look at this
creature she would almost call a friend. He was tall and broad, his
skin the dusky reddish hue Hell inflicted on all the Fallen, his face
craggy and scarred but somehow not unappealing, the patch over his
missing eye giving him an almost funny piratical air. He was not the
hideous monster everyone in Heaven spoke of, when they spoke of Moloch
in the requisite hushed tones.
Lucifer, however, completely overshadowed him, and Moloch
seemed happy that way. As the Lightbringer raised his long, slender
hands to brush back the hood of the heavy robes he wore, Reilael, like
all angels seeing him for the first time, had to catch her breath. He
was thin-faced and dark, with an overhanging, somewhat unruly shock of
hair blackened by the fires of Hell. His eyes were the purest green
she could imagine, snapping with intelligence and perhaps even wily
humor of a sort too esoteric for most to appreciate. Damnation had
tarnished him, but Reilael knew the moment she looked on him that,
restored to the Host, he would be the most beautiful angel Heaven had
ever seen. The knowledge momentarily stunned her.
"Reilael. Tabris," said Lucifer, his thin face lighting up
with a momentary smile. "You came."
Reilael found her voice in time to reply, "A request such as
yours, given in apparent good faith, is not treated lightly in Heaven,
Lucifer."
Tabris, concealing adeptly his relief that his mediation
skills would apparently not be needed, merely nodded and let Reilael
do the talking.
Lucifer nodded, then knelt in the snow before Reilael, bowing
his dusky head until his forehead brushed Reilael's foot. "Mea culpa,
maxima mea culpa, O messenger of mercy. I was wrong, and now I repent
of my sins. Humbly, I beg to return to the light, to be the Bringer
of Light as the Lord my God intended me."
"And do you also seek Redemption, Demon Prince?" Reilael
inquired.
The craggy giant bowed humbly. "I, Moloch, Lord of Fire, so
seek."
"You are aware of the gravity of what you are asking."
"We do what we know must be done now," Lucifer replied, rising.
"And we seek your protection, and asylum."
"Very well." Reilael extended a hand, which both the Fallen
took. If they noticed the slight shiver that ran through the young
Cherub as the two most powerful Fallen touched her, both were too
decorous to point it out. "In the name of our Father," said Reilael,
fighting to keep her voice from quivering, "I will protect you to the
best of my ab - "
And then,
the sky exploded.

DJ was starting to have trouble focusing on the task at hand.
It was a bit cool in the bathroom, and he was kneeling on the cold
tile floor. It certainly didn't help that his clothes were soaked to
the bone from the cold, rainy dash over here.
Added to that, the adrenaline rush he had been riding was
beginning to ebb. He was having problems controlling his shivering,
and the cuts on his arms were beginning to throb.
It was also no mean distraction that Ritsuko was laid out
before him, in all her glory, something he had fantasized about not a
few times (albeit under radically different circumstances). It was no
trivial task to ignore the hormones that had added themselves to the
chemical stew his brain was simmering in.
He forced himself to focus on what Ritsuko was saying.
"How can I face all of you again? I can't believe you all
don't hate me now. Ikari might have been the leader, but I was his
right hand. I was the one who forced you to go through all of the
dangerous tests, the one who sent you into battle again and again. If
you knew the things I said to Misato while you were... missing...
you'd gladly kill me yourself. What is there for me to go back to?
Everything I believed in, everything I lived for, is a lie."

/* Rush "The Pass" _Presto_ */

DJ focused his will to form an answer. "I don't want to hear
you talking like that. You are not evil, no matter what you might be
thinking. In time I know you'll realize that. You were fooled, fine,
you're not the only one. I understand that, and I know the others
will too. But you have to give us the chance, love. We can start
over. Give us another chance and we'll do the same for you."
"I... I don't know. So many years, so many terrible things.
I don't think I'm worth another chance."
"Nonsense! You're a wonderful person! I have always admired
your drive, you know. I know we never really saw eye to eye, but I
respected you. And I still do. We still have the Angels to deal
with. With Ikari gone, now more than ever, we need you. How do you
think your suicide would affect the team now? No, this is not the
way."
"Thank you, DJ... but I don't know. How do you get your
humanity back after denying it for so long? Do you think it's
possible?"
"I do, love, I do. I won't say it'll be easy. But I think
you can do it, with help. And I promise you, my most solemn promise,
to stand by you and help."
She looked into his eyes for a long moment, and saw that he
spoke the truth. Deeply moved, her voice broke as she said, "Thank
you, DJ. Thank you."

Misato turned around quickly at the sound of the door
opening, then slumped a bit. "Oh, hi, Asuka."
"Well, don't sound so disappointed," Asuka grumbled, leaning
her cane against the table while she hung her raincoat by the door.
"Sorry, I thought it might be DJ. Is he with you?"
"No, why? Something wrong?"
"I don't know. His helmet and jacket are on the table, and
his HALcomm is here. But he isn't."
"Did you look next door?"
"Yes, I've already checked next door, and the garage. His
bike is gone."
Asuka looked genuinely puzzled. "His bike is gone?" She
looked at the jacket and helmet, still piled on the table. "DJ never
goes riding without those. He won't even let someone ride with him if
they don't have a helmet. He's fanatic about it. Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Hal says he came home, but left in a hurry
just a few minutes later. I figured he might be running late to meet
you or something. Now I'm starting to get worried."
Asuka was visibly involved in deep thought on the subject.
"It's raining like hell out there. Cold, too. Hardly fit weather to
be riding a motorcycle in, even with a helmet." She paused to let a
thought gel. "Maybe he left the bike at HQ and got a ride back with
someone else, and then went out again. That would explain why he went
out without this stuff, and why the bike is missing too."
Misato seemed a bit calmer after hearing that. "Yeah, I
suppose you're right. That would explain it. But why'd he leave his
HALcomm?"
"I don't know, maybe the idiot just forgot it. He's probably
cursing himself for it already."
"Well I'm going to give him hell for it. He might not be on
call tonight, but he knows he's supposed to keep in touch. What if
there's an emergency tonight?"
"We're big girls now, I'm sure we can get along without the
Mighty Adventurer for one evening," said Asuka with a grin, heading
for her room to change out of her damp clothes. "Besides, he's earned
some time off."
"I suppose so. But he's still going to hear about it when he
gets home," Misato grumped. "There's no excuse for violating regs
like that, especially in the middle of this crisis." And certainly
not for making me worry like this, she didn't add.

Rei Ayanami's eyes snapped shut, and she shivered, wrapping
her arms tightly around herself.
Within, she remembered.
Kevin regarded her sadly. "It was an ambush, a betrayal.
By the demons -and- by our own."
"...They didn't want it to happen..." Rei mumbled, shivering.
"Both sides had something to lose if Lucifer returned to
the light," Kevin contined evenly. "Better to annihilate the lot
of us."
A lock which had kept a long-lost horror at bay
had been weakened at the moment of Jon's demonically-influenced
attack. That horror had begun creeping back into her memory
ever since, only now at much greater speed.
She remembered.

/* Stabbing Westward "Save Yourself" _Darkest Days_ */

"My lord, we are undone!" Moloch bellowed, turning to face the
attacking enemy horde.
Lucifer looked down at his hand, still clasping Reilael's,
then up to her face, doubt in his eyes.
"This is none of our doing," Reilael said.
Lucifer nodded.
"My God," said Tabris, throwing off his cloak and unfurling
his wings for battle. "Look at them."
Lucifer turned and Reilael looked past him, and both saw what
Tabris meant at the same time: the attackers were a mixed group,
angels and demons alike.
"They won't take us without a fight," Moloch snarled.
"Indeed they won't," Lucifer agreed, and the two demons
transformed for the battle, becoming hideous literal giants clad in
the garishly colored armor typical to Hell's legions.
There was no time for protest or parlay; the attackers simply
attacked, without words or quarter. Spearheading the freakish strike
force of backstabbing angels and vengeful demons was Natlateth, the
Demon Princess of Betrayal. A Habbalite, a Fallen Elohite, Natlateth
held the power to contort and exploit the emotions of her victims, the
twisted opposite number to Tabris's calming impassion. Her hatred for
Lucifer and the angels who were meeting him burned so hotly that the
opposing angels around her, many of whom would never even have
considered raising a hand against another angel in anger, tore into
Tabris and Reilael like animals.
Tabris and Reilael were no warriors, and Tabris was the first
defender to fall, pulled down, beaten, his wings broken by a group of
Malakite avengers. His final dissonant scream galvanized Reilael out
of her horrified trance, made her angry, and she too threw aside her
heavy robes, her broad blue-white wings unfurling behind her. With a
defiant cry, she leaped to the defense of her charges.
The Cherubim, the Guardians, are the most devoted of angels.
When they have sworn to protect someone, they may fail, but only death
will make them stop trying. Though not bred for the War like the
Malakim, they are powerful adversaries when roused to battle.
The Malakim who broke Tabris's wings were the first to feel
Reilael's wrath, their red-eyed, black, shadowy forms (more like the
demons of lore than angels) rent by her silver sword, blue fire
trailing behind its cutting edge wherever it bit the flesh of those
acting in the service of evil. Some of the Malakim noticed this, and
in noticing, realized their deception. With horrified cries - for
nothing disgusts the Virtues more than evil - these turned on their
deceivers.
Too many more, though, were too wrapped up in what they
believed to be a holy mission to notice. Attention to detail has
never been a Malakite hallmark. The lone Cherub, her few converts,
and the two giants from Hell fought valiantly, viciously, for their
survival, but they were far, too far, outnumbered, and the enemy
possessed one of Creation's mightiest weapons.
Overwhelmed, they fell.
Reilael felt no pain, only surprise, as the scarred, twisted,
hideous Habbalite at the spearhead of the enemy leaped forward and
plunged the twin points of the Spear of Destiny into her breast. How
did a filthy Habbalite get such a powerful weapon? Then the thought
disappeared, tattered paper in the wind, as Reilael stumbled back, her
very celestial structure disrupted by the attack in a way that went
far beyond the rending of her flesh.
"Who are you?" Reilael demanded, sounding more indignant than
all-but-slain. "What do you want?"
"My name is Natlateth," sneered the Habbalite. "I want you to
die now, Cherub. You're extremely inconvenient to me."
Moloch, bleeding from a million wounds, stumbled, fell,
struggled to rise, as a horde of Calabim and Balseraphim hacked at him
with black iron axes and cackled. Through his one eye he saw Reilael
torn by the lance. He lunged forward, stretching out one giant hand
to protect her...
... And died, his great dead hand crashing down on the
mortally wounded Cherub and pinning her to the ground.
The last thing Reilael saw as she lay, pinned and shattered,
her celestial essence bleeding away through the terrible wounds
inflicted by the Lance, was Lucifer - himself grievously wounded, his
armor shattered, rearing up on his knees and roaring his eternal
defiance in the timeless and musical language of the Host.
The sneering Habbalite answered that defiance by rearing back
and hurling the Spear of Destiny into the Lightbringer's glowing red
Heart, left exposed in his pitted, scarred chest by the shattered
breastplate of his armor.
Lucifer screamed, the world exploded, and Reilael...

Survived.
Barely.
Her shattered essence reduced to a single glowing point of
light, a tiny flame unable to illuminate anything more than the merest
corner of what had once been a grand and holy creature.
When the stunned humans came to the place that had been the
South Pole they found two dead giants and a child. The child was
all that remained of Reilael, Cherub Friend of Destiny. The humans,
perhaps unconsciously hearing an echo of her celestial name in their
uncomprehending mortal minds, named her Rei. They took her back to
what remained of civilization, cared for her, and studied her, hoping
she would somehow explain to them what had just happened to set off a
global cataclysm and kill half their fellows.
But since one of those humans was really the Habbalite who had
killed her, it followed that Rei's ordeal was far from over.
The gene labs.
The cloning experiments.
The laughing countenance of Natlateth's human guise, enjoying
every second, every drop of pain.
But the tiny, agonized, confused remnant of Reilael in the
mind of the child named Rei grudged Natlateth none of it. To her it
was not needless suffering; it was penance.
Penance for her failure.

Rei Ayanami fell to the floor, her legs no longer willing to
support her, and clawed fruitlessly at the carpet, her face twisted in
rage and self-loathing.
"...i swore to protect them..." she hissed. "...i failed..."
"No, that is untrue," Kevin replied firmly, kicking aside his
chair and grasping her shoulders. "They survived, did they not?"
"...barely."
"Yes, but they -did- survive, and with the passage of time
they regain their strength." He touched her chin and gently lifted
her tear-stained face to meet his. "Just as you are regaining -your-
strength, Reilael." He paused once more, looking into her glistening
eyes again. "You can hear it. Can't you?"
And abruptly Rei realized that she -could- hear the sweet
symphony of the celestial around her, faint, but no longer on the
periphery of her mind anymore, no longer out of reach, and no longer
incomprehensible. It was powerful, and beautiful, and her eyes filled
with tears again.
"......yes."
Tabris held her as she cried, his mind on many things.

DJ was trying to explain to Ritsuko that Misato really
-didn't- hate her. "Believe me, she doesn't hold it against you. She
was a bit upset, understandably, but that's forgotten. -She- thinks
-you- no longer like -her-."
DJ's head was starting to swim. His arms throbbed
mercilessly, and he noticed with detachment that his blood was running
from the gash in his arm and flowing stickily over Ritsuko's bare
shoulder, down her pale skin and into the water. She hadn't noticed.
His left arm had started to ache deeply too. He'd been
unconciously holding it against his body the whole time. Now he
looked down and noticed the front of his shirt was sodden with blood,
and on the tile beneath him was a slowly growing pool of crimson. The
wound in his leg, the corner of his mouth, his blackened left eye, his
raked and battered chest and back... every hurt visited on him in the
last few days was now clamoring for his attention.
He felt separated from his body. Part of him wanted to take
off his clothes and climb into the tub with her. Part of him wanted
to shake her until her teeth rattled. And part of him just wanted to
sleep, for a long time. He tried not to grit his teeth as he
struggled to get his mind back together and focus on her answer.
"... Really?"
"Really. Every night she picks up the phone, dials the first
six digits of your number and hangs up. 'Ritsuko doesn't want to talk
to me,' she says. 'She hates me.' Every day she does this. Breaks
my bloody heart, it does. I keep telling her to make the damn call,
but she won't listen to me."
Ritsuko's eyes grew wide. "Oh God!!" Ritsuko slumped lower in
the water, sobbing heavily. "Oh, Misato... I'm so sorry... I'm
sorry..."
Painfully, DJ moved his hand, putting the knuckle of his index
finger under her chin and tilting her head up so he could look into
her eyes.
"If you kill yourself," he observed with a steadiness he
didn't feel, "you'll never get to tell her so."
Ritsuko looked for a long, long moment into DJ's blue eyes,
staring at whatever she saw in them. Then, rising onto her knees, she
threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly, her chin
on his left shoulder, and began crying uncontrollably. He encircled
her in his arms, right hand weakly stroking her hair at the back of
her head, and held her. Time passed; he didn't keep track of it, but
he was starting to feel decidedly lightheaded by the time she leaned
back and sniffled,
"I... Well... I... Oh hell. DJ, thank you. I've been
such a fool." She paused significantly. "If there's anything I can
do to make it up to you..."
DJ knew what she meant, at least in part, and though part of
him was sorely tempted - for she was a very, very attractive woman -
he firmly clamped a lid down over that part and ignored it. In her
current shattered state it would amount to nothing more than taking
dreadful advantage, and he would never be able to live with himself.
To him, there was no percentage in doing anything like that under
circumstances that would taint the memory. He knew she'd never had to
reach out to others before, and right now she desperately needed to be
accepted and loved. Hurting her now would be all too easy.
Besides, he hurt too much, and he was so very bloody tired...
Instead he hugged her again and said, "Why don't we get dried
off, go out to the kitchen. I'll cook us some dinner and we can talk.
We've never really done that, and I think it's high time we started."
"All right." Ritsuko stood up, apparently not caring what she
showed to DJ, and stepped out onto the bath mat. Opening the linen
closet, she turned to get some towels for herself and DJ.
Behind her, DJ started to stand. Doing so made the room spin
uncomfortably. His legs felt decidedly dicey, and the room seemed a
bit darker.
Too late to do anything about it, DJ saw the end of his rope.
"Er... Ritsuko."
"Yes, DJ?" she asked, her back still to him.
"I think I'm in a spot of trouble here."
"What do you mean?" She turned, and, for the first time,
noticed the dark stains on the front of his clothing, and the dark
pool on the floor at his feet. Snapping on the lights she saw the
water in the tub was pink, and the towel she had begun to dry herself
with, formerly white, was smeared with crimson.
But most of all she could see clearly that DJ's clothes were
soaked through - not just with water, but with blood. The entire
front of his shirt stuck redly to him, and blood dripped slowly from
his fingertips where they hung at his side. His face was decidedly
pale, his lips had a slightly bluish tint, and, despite his efforts,
his teeth were chattering violently now.
DJ favored her with a wan smile, which looked almost ghastly
in his present state. "Sorry about the mess, love."
Then he sank slowly to his knees and pitched forward,
prevented from hitting the floor with his face only by Ritsuko. His
body, battered, slashed and chilled, exhausted, stressed to its limits
by the day's events, had finally given in to shock.
She lowered him gently to the floor and ran to gather her
gear. Upon returning she quickly set to work. He'd saved her life,
and she'd be damned if she'd let him down now.

"Bored bored bored." Asuka lay on her back, staring at the
living room ceiling. She was, obviously, bored.
Misato was sprawled on the couch, her head hanging over the
back, arms outstretched. She too looked rather bored. "Yeah...
Well... How about the turn of events today, eh?"
"Yeah, we've been working for the Ineffable Forces of Evil.
Kinda makes you wonder about the 401(k), doesn't it?"
"You're not taking it very seriously."
"Well, what do you want me to do? Ikari was the enemy, OK,
now what? We still have the Angels to deal with. The way our luck
has been running lately we might not have to -worry- about
retirement."
"That's reassuring."
"Well, it's true, isn't it?"
"Yeah... that doesn't make it any less flattering, though."
The two women sat in silence for a long moment. Misato
finally broke the tableau. "Well, wherever DJ is, he -has- to be
having more fun than we are."
"Yeah."
"Waugh," Pen-Pen added in complete agreement.
That marked the high point of the evening's conversation at
the Katsuragi residence.

"Jon."
Jon looked up, then flinched violently, backing away from Rei.
"Don't be afraid," said Rei softly.
"I'm not afraid -of- you," Jon replied, huddling in the corner
of the Wedge bench and shivering. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you."
"Don't be afraid," Tabris repeated, coming around to the other
side of the bench and placing his hand on Jon's shoulder. "Remember
that the voice calling for blood is not your own."
"I'm trying," said Jon, his voice barely above a whisper.
"But it's so hard... "
Rei stepped closer, knelt down, and placed her hand against
Jon's cheek, feeling the feverish heat within him. A cacophony of
emotions tumbled through his desperate green eyes.
Then she looked up at Tabris, the message clear in her eyes:
I don't remember what to do.
A hint of a smile played at the corners of Tabris's mouth, and
then he began to sing.
As Tabris sang, Jon felt the Elohite's calm wash over him, and
the panic in his heart receded. He felt his knotted muscles relaxing
as the music drowned out the hissing, shrieking voice calling for him
to strike. In that moment hope returned to his heart.
Rei saw it in his eyes, and behind her own another memory
sparked. She waited for the appropriate moment in the cadence, and
then joined her own voice to Tabris's, blending her love with his
peace.

DJ slowly became aware that his surroundings had changed. He
hazily remembered Ritsuko standing before him, naked. Then he was
falling towards her... strange dream, not tough to figure out the
symbolism in that one, though. Or...
He recognized the room as being Ritsuko's living room. His
arms still throbbed, but not as urgently. He still felt a bit weak,
though.
That's when he became aware that he was sitting on the couch,
and he wasn't alone. He was leaning against someone who was gently
stroking his hair. He was wrapped in blankets, but he could tell by
instinct that it was a woman he was leaning on.
Ritsuko!
It was then that he became acutely aware that he was stark
naked under the blankets.
At this point, he was fully awake.
Looking down he found himself staring into a pair of bright
green eyes set in an adorable face.
Well, that explained the weight on his chest. "Hullo there,
Chandra. How're you doing, mate?"
"Meow," replied the cat.
"Good to hear it."
Ritsuko's arm descended into his field of view and gently
shooed the cat away. He marveled, not for the first time, at the
smoothness of her skin. Quite fascinating, so pale, it looked so
soft, inviting... His attention was quickly drifting away from
conciousness. Blinking, he tried to focus himself a bit more,
realizing he wasn't quite as on top of his game as he was accustomed
to being.
"Are you feeling OK?"
DJ made an effort to sit a bit more erect so that he might
look at her when he spoke, only to be rewarded with renewed spinning
of his head. "Much better, love, thanks for asking." He raised his
arms from their resting place on top of the blankets to better look at
them. They were swathed in gauze. The right had just a simple
wrapping - that had been a clean cut. The left was wrapped from the
wrist half way to the elbow. The dressing was showing some red in a
few places. "Very stylish. From the Ayanami spring collection,
aren't they?" he quipped. Then, in a more serious voice, he added,
"The left one looks a bit nasty."
She nodded solemnly. "You tore it up pretty badly. I take it
you did that breaking in?"
"Frankly I'm not sure. I was in such an all-fired hurry to
get to you and all. I think I broke a window, now that I think about
it. Sorry."
Ritsuko looked stunned. "You're apologizing for a window?! I
don't care if you came through the wall. Don't be silly, I'm just
glad that you came."
DJ's head was still at least on 'mix'. "Where'd you get the
stuff?"
"Stuff?"
"For these?" He held up his arms.
"Oh. I keep an emergency kit here. I never know when we
might get attacked and I won't be able to get into HQ. Your right arm
should heal OK. The left one is probably going to scar. Sorry about
that... I was more concerned with closing the wound than anything
else."
DJ attempted a cocky smile. "That's quite all right, love.
Adds character, I say. Won't be the first scar I've bought myself
today, anyway." DJ was becoming aware that Ritsuko was apparently
wearing only the robe that had been hanging in the bathroom. "Say, I
can't help but notice that, in addition to being patched, I don't seem
to be covered in blood. Or much of anything else, for that matter."
Ritsuko averted her eyes and blushed. "I cut your clothes off
and bathed you. I... I had to, to make sure you didn't have any
other injuries, you understand... You were going into shock and I had
to warm you up, so those wet clothes had to go... I was just..."
Ritsuko was genuinely embarrassed, and DJ felt his heart go out to
her.
"It's OK, love, I understand. Don't worry about it. You're a
doctor, nothing you haven't seen before, right?" DJ said the last
with a wink that made her blush all the more. "I don't really feel it
all that much."
"Oh, I gave you some painkillers too. A topical and an
injection. I wanted you to be comfortable."
DJ grinned mischeviously. "Oh, I am, my dear, I am." DJ
leaned closer to her, pressed against her side, with his face close to
hers. Ritsuko smiled as he did.
Er, hullo? asked DJ of himself. What's the program here?
Whatever, he replied, which wasn't quite the answer he'd been
hoping for. What was the world coming to, when a man couldn't even
count on his internal dialogues?
"It's been a long time since I've been in a situation like
this," she observed.
"Like what?"
"Oh, alone with a handsome young man," she said, gesturing
airily.
"Not to mention nearly naked."
Ritsuko laughed at that. "Not to mention nearly naked."
"It's been a long time then?" Damn! That's none of your
bloody business. Get your head together, Croft!
"Yes..." Her eyes took on a wistful look. "Too long really.
There was no time in my life for love. Not with The Mission to attend
to." She sighed deeply. "How could I allow myself to love someone
when I was fighting to keep emotions out of my life? I couldn't just
turn them on and off. And since I couldn't deal with them at work,
they became something I needed to avoid."
DJ nodded sadly and, twisting to his right a bit, stroked her
cheek tenderly.
Oi, knock that off, he demanded of himself, but he paid
himself no mind.
She continued, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "All
around me I've watched others enjoying life. But I was able to shut
it out. I used to get so jealous of Misato. She always had men
falling all over her when we'd go out." She looked off into space for
a moment. "I wonder how many of them she went home with?" she asked,
without malice.
"Not as many as you might think, love. None actually. Not in
the way you mean, anyway."
"None?!"
"So she tells me, and I believe her. Sure, she went home with
a few now and then. They might have a few more drinks, maybe snog for
a while, but that's all."
"Why? I don't understand..."
"Her scar."
Ritsuko's face revealed her confusion. "The scar she got
during Second Impact?"
"That's the one. She's ashamed of it, or something like
that. Seems many men get turned off by that kind of thing, and she
can't take that kind of reaction to something so personal. So you've
not a lot to be jealous of, love."
She looked him in the eye, her expression becoming one of
appreciation. "And you didn't."
It was DJ's turn to be confused. "I didn't what?"
"You didn't react to it. You didn't let it turn you off, make
you shun her too."
DJ shook his head. "No. To me the scar is part of her, and
that makes it as beatiful as the rest of her. Any man who lets it
repel him is a damned fool."
He said the last with such simple conviction that she had to
smile. "You really are a special one, aren't you?"
DJ blushed slightly. "I don't know about that, really. I'm
just me, this is the way I am... the way Mum taught me to be."
"Well, I think you're very special indeed. Thank you."
"No thanks need..." DJ was cut short by her lips pressed
against his own. Her hand, which had been stroking his hair, pulled
his head tighter to hers. His left hand, already raised to her cheek,
began to instinctively slide around to the back of her head - before
DJ recoiled and moved quickly away from Ritsuko.
"Christ! What'm I doing? This isn't right," he muttered,
more to himself than anyone less, a hand pressed to his forehead.

/* Rush "Open Secrets" _Hold Your Fire_ */

DJ hastily sat up and pulled the blankets up to cover
himself. Ritsuko looked pained. She pulled away from him and curled
into a small ball on the end of the couch. To DJ she looked for all
the world like a terrified child.
"Even you reject me. Not that I can blame you," she sobbed.
Oh shit! DJ thought. Good job, Croft, that was fucking
magnificent. What the hell were you thinking, making moves on someone
in her state?! Bloody marvelous! You are a complete sodding bastard!
What do you do for an encore, kick puppies?
He wished the painkillers would wear off so his head would
clear, but he didn't have time to wait for that now. He took a deep
breath and plunged forward. "It isn't that, love. It isn't like that
at all. It's just... just not right." Oh, well -that- makes a lot
f sense, clears everything right up, doesn't it? Try again! He
shook his head to try and clear the rush passion had induced on top of
everything else.
"Ritsuko, please... look at me."
Ritsuko slowly turned her head so that she faced him. Fresh
tears streaked her cheeks and her chest still heaved with sobs. DJ
felt like he'd been punched in the gut. No one would ever look back
at this moment and say, "This was his finest hour."
"I don't want to hurt you, I'd never do that. I respect you
too much. More than that, I -like- you. Look... You're not really
in the best condition to be making major decisions right now. And I'm
not exactly thinking rationally with these drugs in me, and what with
being down a pint or two to start with. We just shouldn't do anything
now that we might regret later."
"You'd regret sleeping with me?"
DJ gritted his teeth. Nothing like being in a minefield with
no map. Christ! If I only had a brain! "God! Ritsuko! I can't
tell you how much I've wanted to do that. You're one of the loveliest
women I've ever known. But there's more -to- it than motive, means
and opportunity." Mind you, doped up on God knows what and missing so
much blood, 'means' might be a little dodgy too - shut up! Shut up!
I'm working here, trying to clean up the bloody mess you've made!
Taking a deep breath and shoving away as much of the confusion
as he could, he plowed on, "Forgetting Asuka - just for a moment, mind
you - you know that we're not really thinking clearly. And if we
were ever to be together I want it to be because you really want to.
Not because you're scared to be alone. So yes, I'd regret making love
to you - if it were for the wrong reasons. I think too highly of you
to let you do something now. Also I'm afraid I can't really call
myself 'available' right now, and that kind of thing has too much
meaning for me to just walk away from it."
Ritsuko sniffed and wiped at her face with the back of her
hand. "I'm... I feel so confused. I feel like I'm completely cut
off from everyone else. I just want to feel wanted... To feel close
to someone. Does that make any sense?" She looked a pleading look at
him.
DJ considered for a moment, and then decided. The passion of
the preceding moments had definitely passed, and they were on a
different level now. He held his blankets open, and nodded to her.
Ritsuko sat up, her robe forgotten, and pressed herself against him.
Her head rested against his shoulder and her tears felt hot against
his skin. She embraced him as if her life depended on it.
Perhaps, he thought, it does.
DJ embraced her in return, drawing the blankets closed around
them both in the process.
The sat that way for a long while: DJ silently stroking her
hair, Ritsuko quietly sobbing. In time her sobs faded, and her tears
ceased to flow.
She turned her face up to look at his. "Thank you... again."
"It's what friends are for, love."
"Friends... I like the sound of that."
DJ brushed stray hairs away from her face. "There are a lot
of people who care about you. You could hear that word more often,
you only need open up a bit more, y'know. Let people in."
Ritsuko averted her eyes. "I... I don't know how."
"Sure you do. You're doing it right now. Your problem is,
you try to carry it all alone. If you open up, before you know it
you'll find other people there helping you carry the load.... but you
have to take the first step. I'm not going to lie to you, I respect
you too much to do that, it is going to be very hard. People will
expect you to be as you've always been, and you need to give them time
to realize your not the same person you used to be. You're going to
feel very alone at first. Just remember you have some good friends."
"I'm scared, DJ. I haven't been scared, I mean -really-
scared, in a long time. I've never needed to rely on someone else.
I've always counted on my own ability to pull things through. I do it
all myself because I'm afraid to put that kind of responsibility on
someone else. It isn't an easy thing to do, sending you out to fight.
If the responsibility is mine alone, then the pressure is mine alone.
Look at what it's done to me, how could I do this to someone else?"
"How can you keep going this way?"
"I don't know," she answered quietly.
"Well, I do. You -can't-. On top of that, I won't -let- you.
Like it or not, you're stuck with me now. I'm going to help you
through this, even if you end up hating me. I'd rather have you hate
me forever than go to your funeral. I don't do tombs newer than the
Italian Renaissance."
That last comment caused Ritsuko to crack a smile. "So, where
do we start?"
"We already have. We're talking, that's how it starts.
Simple, isn't it? All you have to do is talk, sincerely, with another
person who is willing to do the same in return. You'd think everyone
would be doing it. Unfortunately, it never seems quite so simple in
the real world, more's the pity."
"You know, it's been years since I've had a real heart-to-
heart conversation with someone. The last person was Misato, but that
was so long ago. I guess once I put my guard up I forgot how to take
it down."
"I'm glad I could be the one to help, then."
She stared at him intently for a long moment, then replied
softly, "So am I."
They settled into a comfortable silence then, the crazy
course of the evening having drained them both. They enjoyed the
simple comfort of human contact. The only sounds were their
breathing, the driving rain outside - clearly audible trough the
missing window - and the occasional crash of thunder.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Asuka announced.
Misato glanced at the clock. "It is getting late. Where the
hell is DJ?"
"He's such a tough guy, I'm sure he's OK." Asuka's tone
implied that she wasn't quite so sure as she claimed. And perhaps
there was a hint of jealous insecurity there as well?
Misato decided not to push the issue; no sense worrying Asuka
any more then she was already. "Yeah, you're probably right. He's
probably hanging out with Maya and John or something. If anything had
happened we'd have heard by now. We'll just have to give him hell
when he comes back for making us worry, right?"
Asuka adopted a stern expression. "Right!"
"OK. Sleep tight."
"Good night," Asuka replied as she closed the door to her
room, "You should go to bed too."
"Oh, I will, soon."
Asuka's door closed.
"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, Pen-Pen."
He looked at her for a moment, head tilted. Then he stretched
his flippers, let out a long "waaaauuuuuugggghhhh," waddled over
to his fridge and tabbed the door open.
"Oh sure, just leave me all alone."
"Waugh," he replied apologetically. Then he entered the
fridge and closed the door.
Misato lay down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "DJ,
you had damn well better be OK," she said to the empty room.

Anyone entering the Wedge would have been in for several
shocks. The first would probably have been the unspeakably beautiful,
utterly unfathomable music filling the air, a joyous sound that was
not a sound, really - not audible to the ear so much as to the soul.
The second would have been the darkness of the vending machines and
video games, all of them shut down as if out of respect for what was
happening in the corner booth. The third would have been the nimbus
of blue-white light that surrounded the three people in that booth:
the slender, silver-haired boy in the raincoat; the tall, lanky,
disheveled young man with his torn clothes and wet, plastered, long
black hair that made him resemble a glam-rock poseur; and the girl
with red eyes, her chalk-white skin seeming to glow from within,
thrown into stark relief by the black shaker-knit sweater and jeans
she wore.
Jon's eyes were closed, his hands in Rei's, and the look on
his face was one of strangely tormented ecstasy as the song Rei and
Tabris were weaving around him built toward its peak. An outside
observer might have found the effect curiously erotic.
Deep inside Jon's mind, something dark and sinister, something
that was trying to stand firm while the rest of his psyche bent,
reed-like, before the power of the celestial song, shattered.
His eyes flew open, eight pupils in stark relief against the
glow, and he sucked in a ragged breath; then he slumped, strings cut,
into Rei's arms.
Rei and Tabris wound down their song, and the glow died with
it. In the deafening silence after they were finished, the video
games flickered back to life, one by one.

At roughly the same time Misato was admonishing the air, DJ
and Ritsuko were discovering something: they were both about to fall
asleep.
"Um, Ritsuko, love... it's getting kind of late."
"Hmm..." She glanced at the clock. "Oh, God, you're right."
There followed a tense silence.
"Well... It's kind of late for me to go home." DJ blinked as
something occurred to him. "Besides, it occurs to me that you cut up
my only set of clothes. My, that's going to be fun to explain.
Anyway, I'll sleep on the couch, if that's all right."
Ritsuko was very quiet for a long moment. DJ was beginning to
think perhaps she wasn't comfortable with his staying when she finally
spoke:
"DJ..."
"Yes?"
"I..." She turned to look him in the eye. "I don't want to
be alone tonight."
Ah, Christ, didn't we just leave this party?
"Ritsuko, I'm not sure..."
She cut him off before he could finish. "I don't mean it like
that. I just... don't want to be alone. Do you understand?"
Oh.
DJ nodded solemnly. "Yes, love, I understand. I'd be honored
to stay with you."
Ritsuko smiled her brightest smile yet at him. "Thank you."
"If you keep thanking me I'm going to develop another
complex." DJ tousled her hair a bit. "C'mon you, let's get to bed.
I'd carry you, but..." Instead of finishing, DJ held up his arms.
Ritsuko laughed. "My hero!" DJ's expression brought further
waves of laughter from her. "That's quite all right, I can walk."
Ritsuko stood, completely unselfconscious now in front of DJ, and
helped him to his feet. His head felt a little light, but far better
than he had felt in the bathroom. Ritsuko's expression became one of
concerned professionalism. "Are you OK?"
DJ considered it seriously for a moment, running a mental
inventory. Satisfied, he replied, "No, not really. But considering
the big picture, I think I'm going to be fine. Shall we?"
Ritsuko smiled and led him by the hand to her bed.

"He'll sleep until morning," said Kevin Nelson of Jon, as the
latter reposed in Rei Ayanami's arms. "When he wakes, he'll be
himself again... or as much 'himself' as he can be, knowing now what
he is and what we are."
Rei regarded her sleeping beloved for a few moments, then
turned her eyes to Kevin.
"Now everything changes," she mused.
Kevin smiled. "Not necessarily. He loves you, you love him,
or the song wouldn't have worked."
"What about you?" she wondered. "You were singing too."
"Balance," Kevin replied. "Am I not of the Choir of Elohim?"
Rei nodded, but Kevin hadn't met her eyes when he said it.
There was silence for a few moments.
"Do you need help getting him home?" Kevin asked.
"No," said Rei. "I can manage."
Kevin nodded, and, without another word, turned to go.
"Wait," said Rei, making him pause. "Where are you going?"
"I won't be far," said Kevin. "I never have been... "
Then he was gone, leaving Rei with her memories, her
questions, and Jon.

The next morning Ritsuko awoke to a wonderful smell. She
rolled over and discovered DJ had slipped away while she still slept.
She next discovered that her robe was missing. With nothing for it,
and with last night's openness still in her mind, she strolled out of
the bedroom to look for DJ. She figured the source of that smell was
a good place to start.
DJ was in the kitchen, puttering happily between counter,
stove and toaster, having put several different breakfast dishes down
to cook and improvised a coffee percolator out of a Dutch oven and a
pasta drainer (don't ask). He had on her terry robe, which, except
for being somewhat oversized and pink, didn't look all that odd, and
Chandra was draped over his shoulder, watching his every move
intently. He noticed her approaching, selected a mug, and poured her
some coffee. "Good morning, Doctor Akagi! How do you take it?"
"Black, please."
"Black it is." DJ handed her the mug (Dr. Science: I Know
More Than You Do) and she took a sip.
"Mmmm... This is wonderful!"
"Thank you. If there's one skill you developing travelling
the world and exploring lost ruins, it's how to make a decent cup of
java. Even if you -are- English. In some parts of the world it's a
useful currency." DJ paused for her laughter. "I hope you don't
mind, but I raided your cupboards a bit. I wasn't sure what you
liked, so I kind of winged it."
By the looks of it, he'd outdone himself. Ritsuko was
speechless.
"By the way, I cleaned up the bathroom for you. I felt
guilty... after all, it was my clumsiness caused all the mess in the
first place. The clothes went in the trash, of course. I think I
managed to clean up all the blood. I put your things on the vanity by
your clothes, though I trust you won't be needing them again."
Ritsuko still didn't know what to say, and DJ kept up his
non-stop delivery.
"Hope you don't mind me wearing the robe. Pink really isn't
my color but I have this phobia about frying food in my altogether.
Anyway, we have pancakes, scrambled eggs, the toast will be up
presently..." Pop! "...right on time, just like dear old BritRail.
The bacon is just about done, and I think the oatmeal is just the
right consistency. Which would you like, hmm?"
Ritsuko just stared at him, slack-jawed, stunned. She
couldn't remember the last time someone had cooked her breakfast. In
fact, she wasn't sure that anyone ever had, save her mother.
"You're not upset, are you, love?" DJ asked, concerned.
"No! No... Nothing like that. I'm just shocked, and... I
don't know..."
"Happy?"
Ritsuko smiled. "Yes... happy."
"So, what'll it be?"
"I guess I'll start with some pancakes and bacon."
"Coming right up!"

Misato was still on the couch where she had fallen asleep the
night before, waiting for DJ to come home, when the phone rang.
Startled, she nearly fell to the floor before catching herself and
sitting up. Squinting at the clock she cursed whomever was calling
at such an early hour, then answered the phone.
"Hello?" she croaked.
"Hullo, Misato, sorry to wake you."
"DJ! Where the hell are you?!"
"Good morning to you, too. Listen, I can tell you're upset,
but I know you'll understand when you hear the story."
"It had better be a good one. Where are you?"
"I'm at Ritsuko's."
"Ritsuko's?!"
"Ritsuko's??" Misato jumped, she hadn't heard Asuka emerge
from her room. She waved for Asuka to hush.
"Yes, Ritsuko's. Listen, it is a long story and I really
don't want to tell it over the phone. I'd like you to get hear as
quickly as you can, it's important."
Misato started to panic. "Why, is something wrong?"
"Everything is under control - now. But I really would like
you to come here. Don't get yourself killed getting here, but please
do hurry."
"OK. This had better be good."
"Oh, I assure you, it is. Oh, one other little thing... "
"Yes?"
"The clothes I was wearing last night were... er, destroyed.
Could you be a dear and bring me a fresh change? Oh, and my jacket
and helmet if you could, I seem to have forgotten them in my haste
last night."
Misato was stunned into silence for a second. "You're at
Ritsuko's and you don't have any clothes?"
"-What?!-" Asuka demanded, causing Misato to hush her again.
"Now now, love, you should be ashamed. It's nothing like
that, all will be explained. And I heard Asuka, tell her that for me,
would you? I'd hate to have her getting all jealous and seething on
me over nothing. Not that she isn't adorable when she's seething."
"Should I bring her?"
"Mmm... no, I should say not. This is something I need you
alone for. I'm afraid I can't really explain it over the phone; but
trust me when I say it is important."
"OK. I'll see you shortly. I can't wait to hear this one."
"It's worth it, trust me. If you hurry along you can still
catch some of the fabulous breakfast I made. I'm afraid I went a
little overboard and made everything I could find instead of picking
something... "
"Right. See you in a few."
"Don't forget the clothes."
"I won't."
"That's a dear. Bye, love."
"Bye."
<click>
Misato just stood there in silence, staring at the phone,
until Asuka burst out, "Well, aren't you going to tell me what he
said?!"
"He wanted me to tell you that it isn't what you are thinking
and he doesn't want you to get upset over nothing. He'll explain it
all later, but right now he wants us to trust him."
"What happened to his clothes? Why is he at Ritsuko's?"
"I really don't know. He told me he'd explain it all when I
got there. I'm going over as soon as I shower and dress."
"I'm going with you."
"No, you're going to stay here. He told me he needs to see me
alone. I don't know what's going on, but he sounded very serious
about that. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get the chance to grill him
later."
"You bet I will." Asuka was clearly relieved to know he was
OK, but also clearly a bit confused and jealous. But then, how was
one supposed to react to the news that one's lover had spent the night
at the home of another, very attractive, woman. Let alone having
somehow managed to lose his clothes! But she also knew DJ wouldn't do
anything to hurt her - so mostly she was just trying to grapple with
the conflicting emotions. Instinct vs. intellect had always been an
uphill battle for her, anyway.
"Well, this mystery isn't going to get solved if I just stand
around here." With that Misato went to prepare for the day; she
suspected it was going to be a long and confusing one.

DJ hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen to rejoin
Ritsuko.
She looked at him expectantly. "Well?"
"She's on her way. You might want to put something on. I
suspect this is going to be a bit confusing for her to start. No need
giving her too many ideas."
Ritsuko nodded, looking distinctly relieved, but also
nervous. "What do I do when she gets here? How do we keep going?"
DJ smiled at her, and clasped her hand in his. "All we need
to do, is make sure we keep talking."

THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY

With a soft click, the lights in the conference room went
dark, and a projector behind the far wall began projecting footage on
the screen.
The first scene showed a launch of Unit 03 from the POV of
various NERV security cameras. There was no narrative accompaniment
as the Eva was propelled up the shaft, only the whine of the
machinery. The view switched to an above-ground camera just as EVA-03
reached the surface. For a few seconds, there was no movement; then a
blinding bolt of energy from an offscreen source tore across the field
of view and into the chest of the still-motionless unit. A second,
smaller image popped up in the upper right of the frame, this one
labeled "Fifth Angel". Apparently it referred to the giant octahedron
which dwarfed the buildings over which it hovered, and from which the
beam was emanating.
After the heavily damaged Eva was finally hauled back below
the surface, the playback froze and a text overlay appeared at the
bottom of the screen:

Evangelion Unit 03
PILOT: Jon Ellison (Fourth Child)

Previous to the Fifth Angel incident (in which pilot
sustained critical injuries), Ellison had suffered
through a combat situation aboard an untested and
improperly calibrated Evangelion unit. Despite this,
his loyalty to NERV has remained fanatical. He was
raised by the military, and is NERV's most experienced
fighter. Recently reassigned to EVA-00.

ASSESSMENT:
Fully brainwashed, and dangerously competent. Cannot
be reasoned with. No regard for human life.

The next sequence was dated a few hours later. It portrayed a
successful counterattack by Units 00 and 01, but also graphically
displayed the damage done to the victors. As the camera focused in on
the smoldering remains of the face-down orange Eva, another written
commentary presented itself:

Evangelion Unit 00
PILOT: Rei Ayanami (First Child)

The trauma of the Mount Wachusett incident, among
others, has served to squelch any temptation to resist
NERV personnel. Ayanami has now become completely
loyal to NERV (motivated by fear of retaliation and a
near-total lack of self-worth), and is not above
sacrificing herself in battle in order to escape her
no-win situation. Recently reassigned to EVA-03.

ASSESSMENT:
Very dangerous. Suicidal nature makes her a constant
kamikaze threat. Be cautious.

Up next was a medley of EVA-02 footage, none of it pleasant.
The undersea battle with the Fourth Angel, the near-fatal retrieval
operation within Mount Kilauea, the orbital engagement with
Sahaquiel... each scene more horrifying than the last, each image
begging the question, "How could anyone have survived this?"

Evangelion Unit 02 (out of service)
PILOT: Asuka Soryu-Langley (Second Child)

Most outspoken of all Evangelion pilots. Langley's
resistance to authority withstood standard intimidation
techniques, so NERV command staff began subjecting her
to excessive-risk situations in order to scare her back
into line. This, too, proved fruitless, prompting
subsequent extreme measures. Currently hospitalized
with extensive injuries, and facing a lengthy
rehabilitation period. Used by NERV as an example to
the other children. Assigned unit (EVA-02) has been
destroyed.

ASSESSMENT:
Physically crippled, and emotionally scarred. Currently
undergoing "re-education" by NERV personnel.

As if to answer the question, "What kind of extreme measures?"
the final scenes were a dizzying montage of the most vicious moments
of the EVA-01 vs. EVA-02 confrontation. Adding to the spectacle were
overlaid sound clips of Asuka screaming and DJ Croft shouting
incoherently in defiance. The latter were, truth be told, excerpted
from a much later conflict - DJ's feral assault on Zeruel, before Unit
01 ran out of power. But there was no way to tell, unless you had
been there. The audio splicing had been performed seamlessly.

Evangelion Unit 01 (temporarily out of service)
PILOT: Derek Joshua (DJ) Croft (Fifth Child)

Originally brought into NERV through a combination of
blackmail and outright threats, now one of their most
valued pilots. Extremely violent and erratic, has been
driven over the edge by NERV brainwashing and excessive
psychological trauma. Highly capable and unpredictable
in combat. Will follow any order given by NERV command
staff. Assigned unit (EVA-01) went berserk during last
engagement, and is currently inoperable. SEELE knows
of no other successful synchronizations between Croft
and other Evangelion units.

ASSESSMENT:
Extremely dangerous and unstable. Unlikely to appear
in combat until EVA-01 is repaired, but should be
avoided at all costs if encountered.

Calmly, Jacqueline Natla stepped away from her podium and
stood directly in front of the projector, which displayed the final
frame (the image of a giant purple fist clenched around EVA-02's
shattered entry plug) onto the Colonel's white shirt. Turning her
gaze to the young boy who sat across the table, she asked him, "Do you
understand now why you have been brought here?"
Still terrified and shocked by the footage he had just viewed,
unable to look away from the horrific scene, it took Shinji Ikari a
moment to snap back to reality. "Not... not really," he finally
stuttered.
"You have seen what has come of your father's ambition, and
the atrocities that he has committed against children no older than
yourself. It cannot be allowed to continue. We need you to stop your
father, and to stop NERV, before they are ready to confront us."
It only took a moment for the words to sink in. Shaking his
head violently, Shinji screamed, "I can't! He never has, and never
will listen to anything that I have to say. After I left there the
last time, he won't even acknowledge my -existence-!" Finally turning
away from the screen, he added softly, "I'm sorry... but there's
nothing I can do."
"Actually, there is."
Shinji hesitantly cast his gaze back toward the screen as he
heard the mechanical click of the projector's remote control. It now
showed a full-body shot of another Evangelion unit, its identifying
marks unfamiliar.
A confident grin spread across Natla's face. She could tell
from Shinji's expression that he understood the full implications of
the slide. "This is Evangelion Unit 04, the third of the production
models. NERV believes that it was destroyed in an activation accident,
but as you can see, it is very much intact. We confiscated it from
the Second Branch as an insurance policy, since there already were
signs that NERV might try to move against us. We have equipped it
with an Elerium collider, so there is no need for an umbilical cable,
and the battery life limitations which NERV's units face will not
apply to EVA-04."
"You want me to pilot it, don't you?"
"Of course. You're the only one who can. NERV possesses all
of the other Children known to be capable of piloting an Eva, and it's
quite possible that there are no more Children to be discovered. You
could be our only hope." Turning back toward the projector screen,
Natla quietly added, "But it's your choice, not ours."
The room was silent for several moments as Shinji gazed
silently at the picture of the predominantly silver Evangelion. His
mind raced and quarreled with itself as a myriad of emotions fought
for control. He recalled the terror of watching Unit 00 go berserk
before his eyes. He shuddered as he pondered what misfortunes might
befall him as a pilot. A voice in the back of his mind implored him
to turn down SEELE as he had turned down NERV, to spare himself the
emotional turmoil which would only worsen if he became more involved
with the conflict. Surely it was better for him to leave the crisis
in the hands of others, as he had done so many times before.
And then, he thought of the other Children. Rei Ayanami, left
battered and bloody as he watched helplessly. EVA-02's pilot, crushed
and nearly killed by an armored hand that could just as easily have
been his. The boys at the controls of Units 01 and 03, brainwashed
and broken by his ruthless, out-of-control father.
Tears welled up in his eyes, and his resolve strengthened.
Father be damned -- the Children had to be set free.
I must not run away.
I must not run away.
I must not run away.
I must not run away!
"I'll do it."

/* The Ventures "Blue Moon" _Walk - Don't Run_ */

NEXT EPISODE:

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
- The Who

NEON EXODUS EVANGELION 3:6
WELCOME TO THE MACHINE
coming soon

"I have nothing left to live for but the struggle against them."

*** AND NOW ***
EYRIE PRODUCTIONS, UNLIMITED proudly presents:
NEON EXODUS EVANGELION BONUS THEATER!!

[COMMERCIAL]

[EXTERIOR DAY. Caption reads "EYRIE PRODUCTIONS COMMISSARY PATIO,
11:32 AM, FRIDAY". EVA-01, EVA-00 and the Third Angel sit around a
table with cups of coffee, the remains of lunches on trays in front of
them. EVA-01 is smoking a cigarette.]

00: Y'know, we don't get too much press, but when you get right down
to it, we're the core of the show.

01 (gesturing with cigarette): That's right, and I for one think it's
about time people recognized that fact. Is the title of the show
"Neon Exodus A Bunch of Screwed-Up Kids"? No! It's "Neon Exodus"
[points at chest] "EVANGELION". But does anybody ever want to
interview us? Nooooo!

3RD ANGEL: At least you're in almost every episode, bright eyes. Me,
I was practically a walk-on AND I got my arms ripped off. Not even
any lines, although I was integral to the plot of the premiere
episode, if I do say so myself.

00: Ah, I can't complain. The kids are great to work with.

01: Well, you're right there. That's another misconception I read a
lot about. The truth is, this is the happiest set I've ever worked
on. Everybody really likes each other. I just wish we kaiju-types
could get a little more credit once in a while, is all.

00: Yeah.

3RD ANGEL: Mm-hmm.

01: Maybe we should form a union.

ALL: ... Nah.

[CAPTION: This is Evangelion. (E P U)]

[END COMMERCIAL]

INTERVIEW WITH THE WATERFOWL: A CONVERSATION WITH EVANGELION'S
FAVORITE PENGUIN
by Christina Lansing, "ShowBiz Deluxe"

[I interviewed Sir Alistair Warden-King, better known to EVA fans of
all persuasions as Pen-Pen, at his home in suburban London, shortly
after production wrapped on season 2 of "Neon Exodus Evangelion" and
Sir Alistair was able to return home.]

Q. Thank you for allowing us to come into your home and share some
time with you, Sir Alistair.

A. Delighted to have you, my dear. Delighted.

Q. Tell us how you originally got involved in "Evangelion".

A. Quite by accident, really. It seems when Anno [Hideaki Anno,
director of the original series "Neon Genesis Evangelion"] was getting
ready to produce his series, the front office [at Gainax, where NGE
was made] looked at the outline and said, "It's good, but it needs a
funny animal of some kind." Well. Anno is a very jealous man,
artistically, and he was furious that the studio would dictate
something that was so obviously not part of his vision, so he agreed
to find a funny animal, but he did on his terms. He decided that,
rather than a dog or cat or something such as one might expect, he'd
get something a bit more exotic. He asked [character designer
Yoshiuki] Sadamoto to get him a penguin. We've established that
Antarctica has been destroyed, so we'll have a penguin. I thought
that was rather cleverly perverse of Anno. At any rate, Sadamoto
immediately thought of my dear friend Joe Kingman, of 'Wallace &
Gromit' fame, but Joe was busy with a promotional tour of the Low
Countries and couldn't get away, so he referred them to me.

Q. For a classically trained Shakespearean penguin, a series like
"Evangelion" must have seemed like a real risk to take.

A. I suppose so, but at my age [Sir Alistair is 68] one can afford to
take a few risks. I was very intrigued by the outline Sadamoto sent
me, and even though my part is fairly minor, I thought it was a
worthwhile effort, and I had always wanted to visit Japan, so I signed
on. It was worth it, if nothing else, for the opportunity it gave me
to stretch my creative wings, so to speak.

Q. How so?

A. I had the opportunity to play a completely different kind of
penguin, something I'd never tried before - in fact, I don't think
anyone had ever tried it before. You see, Pen-Pen in Evangelion is a
Macaroni penguin, whereas I myself am a King penguin.

Q. ... Oh. It must have been difficult working for Anno when he
didn't want your character on the show in the first place.

A. I dare say it would have been difficult working for Anno had my
character been his favorite son. Don't mistake me - he's a very
dedicated artist and a top-notch professional, but by his very
dedication he can be a bit... well... intense.

Q. What about the well-publicized feud between Anno and Misato
Katsuragi? Word has it that by the end of the series they weren't
even speaking except through their agents.

A. You'd have to ask one of them about that, I'm afraid. Anno was my
employer and I still work with Misato, so, well, one owes a bit of
discretion.

Q. Rumor has it you weren't very happy with the direction the series
took toward the end, yourself.

A. Well, since this speaks to my -own- opinions, I can answer it: I
wasn't. I thought it wound up being terribly dark and nihilistic. I
don't think I would have done "Neon Exodus Evangelion" except that
Gryphon [NXE director Ben "Gryphon" Hutchins] promised me he was
taking a different line.

Q. Given the firestorm of international controversy* sparked by that
directorial difference of opinion, I think it'd be safest if we avoid
that topic and move on...

A. Oh, I agree. I'm sick to death of the whole subject, to be frank.

Q. With the worldwide success of "Evangelion" in all its forms, are
you worried about type-casting? Every time we see you, you're playing
a comedy penguin, after all.

A. I get asked that a lot, but really it doesn't concern me. You see
most of my really successful work has been on the stage; television
and film has really always been a sideline for me. And on the stage I
certainly haven't any worries over typecasting. During my time with
the Royal Shakespeare I was actually knighted for my Lear, you know.

Q. Who are the greatest influences in your work?

A. There are so many! My hero, of course, has to be the incomparable
William Emperor Barrett, better known to Americans as Chilly Willie.
He was the pioneer, the innovator. He opened the door for penguins in
show business, and for that I and my colleagues - Larry Watson-Ross,
the Bud Ice penguin, and Joe Kingman, of course, to name just a couple
- must be eternally grateful. I actually had the opportunity to work
with Willie, briefly, toward the end of his career, and he was a
-wonderful- chap, as well as a simply brilliant physical comedian.

Q. What draws penguins to comedic roles?

A. Oh, we're natural comedians. I never met a penguin without a
terrific sense of humor. We're just inherently funny people. I've
always wanted to work on an all-penguin production, not just to
advance the cause [Sir Alistair is a champion for penguins' rights],
but because I think it would be a tremendously fun project to work
on. Shoot a few scenes, have some fish, go out and slide around on
the ice for a while; it doesn't get any better than that. Although
some of my non-penguin co-stars on NXE are quite adept at the
ice-sliding thing themselves.

Q. There -have- been rumors of some strange goings-on at the Eyrie
studios lately.

A. Well. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but it's easier to get
forgiveness than permission. It happens that they're shooting an
Undocumented Features piece - part of the 'Twilight' arc, I believe -
on the stage complex neighboring our Geo-Front set. Tremendous thing,
giant setup for some kind of arctic war scene. Snow and ice as far as
the eye can see, it's just wonderful. One night a few of us sneaked
over there and did what I can only describe as a bit of cavorting. I
can only wonder what the 'Twilight' crew thought of all the slide
trails and such when they went back the next morning...

Q. It's a fun series to work on, then?

A. Marvelous, marvelous. Of course most of us know each other from
the Japanese EVA series, but the new people have blended into the cast
so well that it's just like being back home again. [He looks around
at the comfortable sitting room.] Although I must admit, at my age
there's nothing like the real thing.

Q. Thank you for your time, Sir Alistair.

A. Oh, not a bit of it, thank you. I've had a lovely time.

/* J.P. Sousa "The Liberty Bell" */

NEON EXODUS EVANGELION BONUS THEATER!!
was conceived, written and performed by

Ben Hutchins
John Trussell
Rei Ayanami
Asuka Soryu-Langley
DJ Croft
Jon Ellison
Gendou Ikari
Ritsuko Akagi
Maya Ibuki
Misato Katsuragi

and featured
Pen-Pen
as himself
and
Sir Alec Guinness
as the voice of Pen-Pen

* I can call it that. I got flamed by a guy in China. --G.

(c) 1998

E P U (Colour)