Attention Paul Derbyshire: here is attention!
`K. Marie Mennie'
Yes, that's right, Paul! You're in the header! Look, it's the attention
you so desperately need and want, and now you don't have to pay $2.99 a
minute for it!
Some DejaNewsing of a.f.k-m over the last month has convinced me that the
viability of this group depends on making Paul Derbyshire's life
miserable. If my going off-line for a month-plus _encourages_ the wee
mousy moth-eaten kid, I have to assume my _complete attention_ to this
mental-illness poster-child will encourage him to take up more healthy
obsessions (_I_ have never been a healthy obsession for anyone, especially
those under twenty-five), like -- oh, I don't know; model building[*],
anything to keep him off the net.
Somebody lurking around here must have the Derb's _home mailing address_.
Could they pass it on to me? I wish to send him _presents_. No, no,
nothing nasty, I swear. Just -- you know, personalized Hallmark cards,
chocolates, preserves, comic books; things to let him know he's...thought
of. Just the sorts of things you'd send to a friend. And god knows,
anyone who pays as much attention to me as he does -- this is several
years now! -- _must_ be my friend. Paul, I know you're not allowed to
mail me, but please pass your address on to a go-between (Nik Maack might
be a safe bet) so they can give it to me, and I can start showering you
with...presents. And affection.
`But Kia,' you cry, `in the second paragraph you say you want to make him
miserable, and then in the third you go on about sending him preserves?
What gives?' The rub is in the first paragraph: I now seek to give Paul
Derbyshire _my attention_. Every experiment I've ever witnessed with the
Derb -- organized newsgroup efforts where everyone tries to be nice to the
poor slob and just pretend he's coherent -- it all just provokes more
spewing and steaming. See, by lavishing him with affection, I figure
he'll abandon a.f.k-m in disgust, taking his message of hate to other
quarters. (Paul, carleton.students.sex _misses_ you.)
Others should feel free to (a) direct their attentions towards
compl...@freenet.carleton.ca, citing deliberately disruptive posts, (b)
just ignore the whole business, (c) post whatever they please about the
Derb, (d) encourage him in whatever way they can think of (`Please tell
us more about your feelings for Kia, Paul -- we're all listening...we
know she's a bitch who formed a mob to bust your balls, and we're proud
that you managed to outsmart them, you wily genius, you').
Kisses to Mister Derbyshire,
Kia
[*] Paraphrased, from _The Thin Blue Line_: `He was in bed with a model last
night! ...balsa wood all over the sheets'
--
kia MENNIE http://neon.ingenia.ca/stalkme/
Tom E Arnold
`K. Marie Mennie' wrote:
>
> [*] Paraphrased, from _The Thin Blue Line_: `He was in bed with a model last
> night! ...balsa wood all over the sheets'
>
alt.binaries.models.scale
TEA/