[Eva][FanFic] Neon Exodus Evangelion 2:7 - Ceremony of Innocence: Points of Surrender

[Benjamin D. Hutchins]

/* Genesis "Land of Confusion (Live)" _The Way We Walk_ */

EYRIE PRODUCTIONS, UNLIMITED
presents

NEON EXODUS EVANGELION

EXODUS 2:7
CEREMONY OF INNOCENCE PART TWO:
POINTS OF SURRENDER

Inspired by NEON GENESIS EVANGELION created by Hideaki Anno, Gainax,
et al.

Most characters created by Hideaki Anno and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
except

DJ Croft created by Benjamin D. Hutchins
and
Jon Ellison created by Larry Mann

Additional material and inspiration cadged from TOMB RAIDER by Core
Design, Ltd., X-COM: UFO DEFENSE and sequels from MPS Labs (whoever
owns them nowadays), THE X-FILES created by Chris Carter, and
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY by Arthur C. Clarke

Written by Benjamin D. Hutchins, Larry Mann,
MegaZone and John Trussell

Aided and abetted by the Eyrie Productions, Unlimited crew
and special-guest-for-life Phil Moyer

(c) 1997 Eyrie Productions, Unlimited

Misato Katsuragi had often wondered, over the past few months,
if her old friend Ritsuko Akagi had been secretly replaced by
something else - an android, perhaps, or a pod person. Now, as she
stared at the blonde woman who served as NERV's chief scientist,
Misato had that feeling again.
"Let me get this straight. Your -whole plan- is, we get
together the biggest pile of battlefield nukes we can find, chuck 'em
into the anomaly, and SEE WHAT HAPPENS?!"
Ritsuko winced at Misato's wording, but replied, "I wouldn't
have put it quite that way... but in essence, yes."
Misato gestured vaguely at the main monitor, which still
showed the black, shadow-like anomaly that had apparently -absorbed-
most of downtown Worcester-3 (its spherical 'shadow' still hovering,
sentinel-like, above it). "You did remember there was an Evangelion
inside there, right?"
"EVA-01's armor should be capable of bearing the stress, so
long as the unit takes no direct hits," Ritsuko replied.
"And I suppose the shockwaves will just obligingly go -around-
the pilot?" said Misato sardonically.
Ritsuko sighed as if pained by the necessity of pointing out
the obvious. "Unit 01's life support reserve will have failed," here
she checked her watch, "some time before we'll be able to mobilize
that large a strike force. The important thing now is to disrupt that
anomaly and get the unit back. At this point, the condition of the
pilot cannot be taken into account in our operational planning."
That, for Misato, was the last straw. Her hand flew out and
smacked Ritsuko hard across the side of her face, sending her glasses
clattering to the floor. Ritsuko winced, raising her hand to her
stinging cheek, then fired an acid glare right back at Misato.
"This is your fault, don't forget!"
"Why are you and Ikari so concerned about Unit 01?" Misato
growled. "What -is- EVA?!"
"I already told you everything."
Misato grabbed the front of Ritsuko's top. "You're lying!"
Ritsuko angrily shook herself loose, and the two women stared
at each other in silence for a long, hard moment.
"There's another alternative, you know," said a voice from the
doorway. Ritsuko flinched as if struck again, turning away, as Ryoji
Kaji leaned on the control room doorway, folded his arms and grinned.
"Who let -you- in here?" Misato inquired disdainfully.
"Such hostility," Kaji replied with a mock wounded look. "Is
that any way to treat me? I can help you avoid having to blow up your
boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend," Misato snapped. "This is a
restricted area, Ryoji. Say your piece and get out."
"Well, look - has it occurred to anybody that you could just
send another EVA after him?"
Ritsuko turned an icy glare on him. "And this other EVA would
maneuver and find its way back how, exactly?"
"Unit 02's Type S equipment came back functional, didn't it?
The maneuver thrusters should work."
"Assuming Newton's laws even apply in there," Ritsuko replied.
"What about navigation?"
"That's the easy part," said Kaji with a smirk. "Send Rei.
She can always find her way back to Jon."
Both women stared at Kaji as if he had suddenly grown a second
head.
"Don't be ridiculous," Ritsuko said at length. "I won't risk
a second pilot when we already stand a good chance of losing the
first."
"Fine, OK," replied Kaji affably, spreading his hands in
surrender. "Don't hurt me, just trying to help. It's what I do,
y'know."
Ritsuko's eyes flashed, and for a moment she looked as if she
might reply; then she turned away abruptly, folding her hands behind
her back and concentrating on the main viewer.
"Major Katsuragi, your objection is noted. Mr. Kaji, this is
a secured area, you'll have to leave immediately. John, contact X-COM
Fort Devens. We'll need to coordinate the air strike with them."
Kaji shrugged and slipped away, leaving Misato to glare
balefully at the back of her old roommate and wonder, not for the
first time, what the hell was going on inside her head.

DJ knew he was dying. The LCL circulation pumps had stopped
sometime during the brief nap that had ensued after he'd cried himself
to sleep, and the LCL was cold around him. As it congealed it stank
more and more heavily, a stench uncannily like that of fresh blood.
It became harder to breathe, and soon it would be impossible. Even
now he lacked the strength to raise his arm and illuminate the wrist
chronograph on his plug suit, lacked the strength even to be afraid of
the enclosing darkness or of his own impending death.
Instead, he felt strangely calm. It was not at all the way
he'd expected to feel at his death. He had always intended to live
life on his own terms, do as he damned well pleased, and go out with
no regrets; but regret was foremost on his mind as he lay limply in
his seat in the cold, stinking, silent pitch blackness of his entry
plug and waited to die. Regret for the things he had't experienced,
hadn't dared - he, DJ Croft, hadn't dared! - attempt, had lost to
circumstance. Regret that he hadn't had the chance to say goodbye.
Regret that he'd promised his mother he'd be careful and promptly
gotten killed.
There's always a way out. In a hundred tight spots all over
the world, Lara Croft had repeated those words to herself and her son,
and as they searched, they would always find such a way. A way to win
free of crumbling passages and smell the outside air, a way to evade
the wild things or the guns of less scrupulous rivals and live to hunt
treasure another day.
There's always a way out.
DJ put what remained of his attention span to work on that
problem.
There's always a way out.
The trick is finding it in time.

The sound of dozens of Raiden fighters circling overhead,
armed with enough N2 bombs to raze all of New England, filled the air
with an anticipatory growl as EVA-00, 02 and 03 took up their
positions, just on the edge of the shadow, equidistantly spaced in
order to focus their AT Fields most effectively and prevent the
expected secondary explosion from damaging more of the battered city.
Dawn was just beginning to streak the eastern sky with red as the
operation commenced.
"Evangelion Unit 00, Moloch, in position," Jon reported, his
voice betraying no emotion.
"Evangelion Unit 03, Orcus, in position," Rei followed,
similarly stoic. The unit's reassembly had been completed hastily and
TechDiv had warned her that she might experience sync problems, but
she had insisted with the quiet forcefulness all at NERV had come to
respect. The unit did feel a bit off-center, but it wasn't actively
fighting her. It felt little different than Unit 02 had - passive
rather than actively resistant, as Moloch had always been for her.
Thanks to that, the slight misalignment of a few systems faded to
triviality from her perspective.
"... Evangelion Unit 02, Grendel, in position," Asuka took a
bit longer to add. The anxiety that Jon and Rei were not showing was
seeping through her defenses. They all knew the potential risk in
this operation. They all hoped they could beat the odds.

There's always a way out.
DJ turned that thought over in his mind for the fortieth time
or so and felt it slip away. He was wheezing as he dragged the almost
oily LCL into his lungs, then coughing it back out, feeling enervation
seep out to the very ends of his limbs. His fingers were starting to
feel numb.
It won't be long now, he thought. I guess Mum was wrong.
There's no way out for me now but one.
With that thought, he gave up struggling to breathe and waited
for the darkness and silence to become complete.

"All air forces report ready," Truss reported to Ritsuko. "60
seconds to drop."
"Good," Ritsuko replied evenly, ignoring the impact of
Misato's glare against the side of her skull. "On my mark--"
But Ritsuko's order would go no further than that.
Disregarding her instructions to the contrary, Rei Ayanami had set her
EVA in motion, and was now walking purposefully toward the edge of the
shadow.
"EVA-03, what are you doing?" Ritsuko called. "Get back to
your position!"
Rei flicked a switch and let the control booth eat static.
Eyes open, without fear, she walked into the shadow...
And disappeared.
"No telemetry from Unit 03," said Maya tensely.
"Damn it all!" Ritsuko spat. "What the hell does she think
she's doing?"
"Abort the bombardment," ordered Gendou Ikari.
"What? You're writing off -two- units?"
Ikari shook his head. "Rei wouldn't do something like this
without a purpose. We will wait and see what it is."
"... You're the Commander," said Ritsuko dubiously. "Air
units, this is NERV Control. Abort drop, repeat, abort."

In the cockpit of EVA-03, Rei Ayanami closed her eyes, cleared
her thoughts, and tried to feel some hint of Lucifer and its pilot in
the surrounding void.
<DJ... I'm here.>
In the shadows, something heard. Ahead, twin lights flashed -
Lucifer's eyes. Rei stretched out her thoughts, pushed them against
the distorting, reluctantly yielding resistance of the darkness
separating the units, but what touched her mind first was not DJ.
"Lucifer... " she whispered, her eyes opening, pupils
contracted to pinpoints.
<Reilael,> said the voice. <Help me.>

Outside, Jon stared at the dark surface of the shadow,
battling the rising panic that always threatened to overtake him now
when Rei's calm presence in his mind was cut off. He looked at his
intercom monitor; Asuka, knowing his fear and wracked with her own,
looked back, trying her best to reassure him.
Their ruminations were interrupted by the sudden violent
convulsion of the ground underfoot. And if that didn't get their
attention, then the sudden fragmenting of the shadow's surface most
certainly did: all across the giant expanse huge rifts tore open,
exposing what looked like glowing reddish rock underneath and spraying
a red mist into the air which looked disturbingly like blood.
"What's happening?!" Asuka gasped. "We didn't do anything!!"
"Could it be DJ or Rei??" Misato turned to Ritsuko.
"Impossible!" Ritsuko replied. "EVA-01's power is completely
depleted, and the production models have never demonstrated - "
And if the 'ground' splitting open in a shower of blood was
not disturbing, what happened next most assuredly was: up above, the
reflective sphere which was the attacker's "shadow" shook violently,
like a Jell-O mold being subjected to massive seismic shock. Then the
striping pattern faded, leaving nothing but a solid black surface
which began to warp and distend on one side.
In the next instant, a blade clenched slash-fashion in an
armored fist punched through, sending a fountain of red cascading
outwards. Then another blade-clutching fist began hacking at the
surface of the sphere, ripping it apart. More lacerations began to
decorate the surface of the sphere, each spewing a fountain of blood
as, its eyes brilliantly glowing, Orcus hacked its way out of the
shadow.
With the exception of Jon, who just stared evenly at this
occurrence, everyone gaped in mute shock as the black EVA, its AT
Field rippling along its surface like bluewhite fire, doubled its
efforts to tear the attacker to shreds, pressing home its vicious
attack in total, eerie silence.
"Am I piloting something like... -that-?" Asuka mumbled,
paralyzed by the barbaric sight.
"What... what did we copy it from...?" Ritsuko mumbled,
similarly paralyzed but for different reasons. Misato said nothing.
She looked up at the carnage evenly, too many thoughts on her mind to
allow for paralysis.
It's not just a copy of the First Angel, I'm sure of that, she
thought. But... what happens when we've defeated all the Angels?
The intruder's body could take no more, and the sphere
exploded, showering the city in gore. In the midst of the carnage
Lucifer, coated in blood, dropped to ground level, lying inert on its
face. Orcus landed and stood over its fallen comrade amid the
devastation, its fists tightly clenched around its dripping blades and
its eyes still glowing brightly - its whole body still glowing, though
with much less fire than before. It had accomplished what it set out
to do. For now, the Prince of the Abyss was satisfied.

Lucifer's entry plug was quickly ejected and opened. The LCL,
milky and clouded, spilled out across the torn earth. The fresh soil
only strengthened the perception of the smell of blood that
accompanied it.
The moment the LCL had drained, Misato dove through the open
hatch and shook DJ. "DJ! Breathe! You can't die!"
DJ coughed and sputtered a bit. "Mi... Misato? Wha... What
are you doing here?"
"Oh, you fool!" Misato threw herself across DJ, hugged him as
best she could, and began sobbing in earnest.
DJ coughed once more, then lapsed back into unconciousness in
Misato's arms.

"I never thought of the EVAs as frightening, until today,"
Ritsuko said, still rattled from the recent encounter. She stood on
the catwalk with Dr. Ikari, watching as EVA-03 was bathed from head to
foot by high-pressure water spray, washing the blood and gore away.
"I wonder if it's even on our side. It might hate us."
Ikari did not reply, merely kept looking up at the Evangelion
as the washdown continued. Ritsuko wondered if it was looking back at
them, what it was thinking about them.
"Major Katsuragi may know something," she continued.
"It's all right, for now," Ikari responded.
Ritsuko was not entirely convinced. If she discovers the
secrets, she thought to herself, if -any- of them do...

Through the rest of the day, as the children tried to sleep
and TechDiv, fighting off sleep, pored over pages and pages of data
generated by the newest attack, Misato Katsuragi sat in her office,
researching with a fervor she'd not demonstrated since her college
days, when Ritsuko had bet her she couldn't make a better score on a a
history-of-computing midterm. Just what Misato won is a story for
another day; the point is, she won.
What she learned in that byegone evening was, in places,
surprising, but it had not come together to form the same sort of
picture she was getting now.
They don't want me to know the truth, she thought to herself
with a satisfied smile, but they don't realize how many separate
pieces I can get with my security clearance...
Or, she continued, frowning, they don't think I'm smart enough
to put them together.
Her smile returned, and took on a certain hard-edged cruelty,
as she kept digging.
If that's what they thought, they were in for a very ugly
shock.
With this thought foremost in her mind, Misato headed for the
commissary to get some coffee. Darkness was again gathering outside
and her body and brain clamored for sleep, but she wasn't willing to
stop yet.
Ritsuko stood at the far end of the commissary, staring
blankly at the vidscreen which played a news report of the day's
attack. Lost in thought she barely registered the report, her coffee
mug neglected in her hand. She'd been standing like that for an
indeterminate period, her mind playing a slideshow of images, over and
over. Going to the bar; Kaji's grinning face; EVA-03 tearing itself
free; trying to resist; the 'thing' exploding and showering the city
in blood; DJ falling out of his entry plug nearly lifeless; the
videogame; more besides. Over and over, in new orders and
combinations. So absorbed, she didn't notice Misato approaching until
she spoke.
"Kaji really got the better of you, didn't he?"
Ritsuko jumped, her mug falling to the floor, shattering.
Ceramic and coffee struck her legs seemingly unnoticed. With real
fright she spun to face Misato. "What?!"
Misato, still angry from her altercation with Ritsuko earlier,
missed the real depth of Ritsuko's reaction. "Today, in the control
room. Approved or not, his idea worked. Who knows what would have
happened if they'd carried your plan out. DJ might well be dead."
Misato's eyes narrowed. "Not that you'd care."
Still disoriented by her own thoughts, part of her was still
trying to figure out how Misato could have known what had happened the
previous night, Ritsuko wasn't prepared to deal with the real subject
of the conversation.
"What? That... Well, I couldn't very well risk..."
"You -wouldn't- risk, you mean. 'At this point, the condition
of the pilot cannot be taken into account in our operational
planning.' That's a damn cold thing to say."
"What did you want me to do? Keep sending them in until we
ran out of EVAs? That's the kind of thing you'd do, Misato. Leap
before looking."
"Well maybe its because I actually -care- about the pilots.
Are the EVAs all you can think about?"
"The mission comes first. That's the way it is. We can ill
afford to lose either EVAs or pilots, but we especially can't be
throwing them away on a fool's errand!"
Misato's eyes first went wide in shock, then narrowed with
rage. "A fool's errand?!" she hissed. "Is that what it was to you?
Does life mean so little to you?"
The color was rising in Ritsuko's cheeks now. "Maybe I'm just
too responsible to risk another child's life on a mission into the
complete unknown. Yes, it worked, fine. But what if it hadn't? What
if we were even now mourning the loss of DJ -and- Rei?" Ritsuko took a
step closer to Misato, fragments of mug crunching under foot. "But
then, what would you know about responsibility? You can't even keep
your charges from fucking each other!"
Misato recoiled as if slapped, then leaned forward to bring
her face close to Ritsuko's. "I'd like to see you do a better job of
it. You can't relate to anything that isn't mechanical. Maybe if you
loosened up once in a while you wouldn't be such a frigid bitch!"
Misato stood back, hands on her hips and a feral grin on her face.
"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad Kaji won. You
got just what you deserved!"
Misato, not knowing the double meaning of what she'd just
said, was at a bit of a loss to explain what happened next. She'd
expected a strong reation, sure; after all, she'd meant her comment to
sting... but not to elicit the reaction she got.
Ritsuko just froze, the color draining from her face, then she
pushed past Misato and fled the room. Misato could have sworn she'd
seen tears welling in Ritsuko's eyes as she pushed her aside.
"What the hell?" Misato asked the empty room.

Slowly, painfully, DJ Croft wandered back toward
consciousness. He was vaguely aware that this was something he did
not want to do, but by then it was too late; his eyes were opening.
"Oh, not this bloody ceiling again," he murmured, surveying
the infirmary's dull gray tiles.
Soon, he knew, the medics would realize that he had regained
consciousness. Soon the Operations staff would be alerted. Soon, the
questions would begin.
He didn't want to deal with any of that right now.
By the time they arrived, he was gone. Misato got there
first, to find an empty bed with a note on the pillow:

All -

Apologies for shocking cock-up; haven't been myself lately. Off for a
bit of a think. Don't come bothering me or you'll bugger it up.
Expect me when you see me.

- DJC

"Damn it all," Misato growled, crushing the note in her hand.
So many things she wanted to talk to him about, and he had to go
disappearing at a time like this?

DJ sat on his motorcycle at the top of Bancroft Hill, watching
the sun set over Worcester-3. It felt a hollow gesture, with no one
else there to enjoy the view with him.
I shouldn't have left, he decided after turning the matter
over in his head for a while. He was mostly recovered from his
ordeal, physically, but he felt... wrong. Hollow inside, and unsteady
- not on his feet, but as if he made the slightest wrong move
mentally, he'd tumble off into some dark pit. He needed the company
of people.
But what people? He'd driven Asuka into a rage with some
remarkably-poorly-chosen words. Misato was sure to be upset over his
operational stupidity, and anyway, he had no idea how he would take
seeing her right now. And Rei...
... He didn't quite know how to face Rei after what had
happened in the void. He'd felt something as he slipped into what he
thought would be the final unconsciousness - now he knew what Jon
meant when he spoke of the touch of Rei's mind to his own. She'd come
into the void, she'd reached out for him somehow, and she'd found him.
Found him in the depths of his despair, having given up all hope of
survival - having committed, in his own eyes, the ultimate sin.
She had touched his soul at the lowest depth he'd ever sunk
to. Could he ever look her in the eye again? Just thinking about it
made his heart ache.
Amy.
Amy would listen. Even if she didn't understand, she would
listen. She would care. Her viewpoint, uncluttered by the baggage
brought with involvement with NERV, would see him through the mess and
she would tell him where he really stood.

When he arrived at her house, he found it curiously dark and
silent. Checking his watch, he confirmed his initial thought, that it
was far too early for the Andersons to have retired for the evening.
Also, the doctor's Mercedes was gone.
His heart was already sinking as he noticed the realtor's sign
in the yard.
"Oh, no," he said, but it came out as more of a moan. Not
wanting to believe, he mounted the front steps and knocked, then
pounded, on the door, calling Amy's name.
Presently, the porch light on the house next door came on, and
an elderly man poked his head out.
"They're gone, fella," the oldster remarked.
"Where?" DJ replied.
The man shrugged. "Don't know. Packed everything up and
headed out of here two days ago. Scared off by that orange fallin'
thing, I expect. Lots of folks leaving town after that."
"What?! Two days - packed everything?"
The man nodded. "Big truck and the whole nine yards. Mark
me, son, they ain't comin' back. It ain't safe in this town any more.
Me, I was born here, I expect I'll die here, but a lot of people don't
have that kind of attachment any more."
DJ merely stood and stared blankly at the door to what had
been the Anderson residence, so the old man retired into his house and
switched off the porch light.
With nowhere else to go, he rode on mental autopilot to the
Howard Johnson an I-290 exit closer to downtown, checked in, and went
to his room.
Ordinarily, the Worcester-3 Howard Johnson was not DJ's kind
of hotel. The room was clean and comfortably fitted, but it was
small, and the fittings were old. The door didn't even automatically
lock, and DJ, still in a bit of a haze, didn't bother locking it. Who
was going to come in, anyway?
Feeling confined by his clothes, DJ undressed and slipped
beneath the covers. He lay in bed with his hands behind his head, and
contemplated just exactly what a mess his life had become. The
results did not encourage him.

At 22 Lee Street, Apartment 3-F, Jon Ellison and Rei Ayanami
sat on the sofa. Each appeared to be reading, but neither had turned
a page in rather a long time.
Suddenly, Rei looked up, her eyes focused on some invisible
distance; then they narrowed thoughtfully. Without a word, she lifted
Anubis from her lap and placed him in Jon's, got up, went to the
kitchen, got her coat, took Jon's keys from the pocket of his own, and
left the apartment.
Jon watched her go, and though he wasn't entirely sure where
she was headed, it somehow failed to occur to him to ask. Instead he
scratched behind Newbie's ears for a moment, then resumed reading.
He was interrupted again a few moments later, as the divider
between apartments opened and Asuka entered.
"Hi, Jon," she said, unusually subdued.
"Hello, Asuka," Jon replied, gesturing for her to sit, which
she did, at the other end of the couch.
She looked rumpled, as if she'd slept, or tried to sleep, in
the same clothing she'd worn home from Central Dogma that morning, and
her eyes were red from crying. For a few moments, she tried to put
into words what she was feeling, but the attempt failed, and after a
few further failed attempts, Asuka resorted to her usual bluster.
"How could he do something so stupid?!" she burst out.
"Running off into a fight without waiting for backup! He should know
better than that. Stupid!"
"I'm sure he knows that," Jon said flatly. "He was full of
himself, acted rashly, didn't play as part of the team, and he nearly
paid for it with his life. Quite possibly the stupidest thing I've
seen him do."
"Um, yeah..." Asuka replied, suddenly remembering that fight
in the locker room and feeling like an accomplice in the whole
debacle. This served to knock most of the wind from her sails, and
she sank down onto the couch next to Jon, sighing loudly. "I wonder
where the hell he went?" She properly noticed then that Rei did not
appear to be here either. "And where's Rei?"
Jon had been wondering about that himself in the time since
Rei had abruptly departed, but only now did he reach any kind of solid
conclusion. "I think..." he said, choosing his words carefully. "I
think she went looking for him."
Asuka looked at him, and the look in her eyes told Jon that
her imagination was conjuring up some inappropriate visuals to go with
that thought. She seemed further mystified by the fact that Jon did
not appear outwardly concerned with the whole thing. He was on the
point of saying something when she asked him: "Aren't you worried?"
"No," he replied. Confused, maybe, but he wasn't going to
bring that up right now.
Asuka wasn't going to let it go that easily. "But what if
they... um..." she trailed off, the color rising in her cheeks.
"They won't." (Well, he couldn't be sure of that, but for
both their sakes this was not the time to go down that road.)
"They're on a different level: she's more like a guardian angel to
him..." he trailed off for a second, then chuckled. "What do you
know, I finally figured it out."
"What?"
"Something Rei said once; it's a long story." What exactly
she'd said could wait for later; now was not the time. "Something she
said to us a long time back, before you got here."
"She's so strange... and I know she fascinates him." Asuka
sighed heavily, looking less angry and more miserable now. "It... it
worries me. She could take him away if she wanted to, I know she
could."
"She wouldn't do that. What possible benefit would there be
in interfering with what you and DJ have? Besides..." the color rose
in his face a bit. "...we're happy with each other."
Having given vent to one of her anxieties, though, Asuka was
on a roll. "What about Amy? He spends a lot of time with her too."
"They are just friends, Asuka." This at least he could be
100% certain of. "I've seen them working at school. She's on a
different level too, and DJ needs friends outside of the program to
stay stable." Abruptly he was confronted with the unpleasant notion
that the Anderson family might well have been one of the families
which moved out after the orbital Angel attack. That might have had
something to do with the problems tonight, were it true. "But she
can't understand our private world, not the way you can."
"We had an argument right before the operation," Asuka said.
"We both said some pretty mean things. I think he was still angry
when he... he screwed up. I... oh, hell, I all but accused him of
having something going on with Misato, and he told me if that were the
case why would have have bothered with me?" She sniffed, fighting
back fresh tears, still trying to be strong, then chuckled bitterly.
"I have to admit he's got a point there."
"You shouldn't take that personally," said Jon, moving a bit
closer to his teammate. "It's just... " Jon considered his words
carefully before continuing, "Your relationship... took him by
surprise." And everybody else, too, he didn't bother adding. "I
don't think he's quite realized that yet."
Tears were flowing freely down Asuka's cheeks now. "I'm
sorry, it's just... just so hard sometimes. I've been alone since my
parents died, and all I've ever known is piloting EVA. Just another
tool to be used, no one to trust, no one to rely on - except myself.
It isn't easy for me. I... I don't trust people easily. I don't
think I could take being hurt like that, not now."
"...I know, Asuka." Jon moved a bit closer still. "I haven't
seen my mother since I was about six... and I never knew my father.
The people I grew up with told me I could only count on myself if I
wanted to survive, and my mother always told me to be very careful who
I trusted. For a long time I didn't trust anyone at all... until I
met Rei, and DJ and Misato..." He risked placing a hand on her
shoulder. "And you. You've saved my life before, and I would trust
you with it again. DJ and Rei would do the same."
Asuka looked back into his bright green eyes, and heard the
words which displayed a considerable trust in Rei Ayanami, and
realized that all this time she'd never really talked to him on any
level other than that of a combat partner. The rest of the time it
was Reject, or Freak, or Conformist. She was feeling increasingly
foolish, and small, and the idea of crawling into a hole somewhere was
growing increasingly appealing. "Must be nice to be able to trust
someone so completely..." she mumbled, her voice small.
"Do you trust me? As your marksman? As a friend?"
She nodded mutely.
"Then listen to what I have to say: you have nothing to fear
from Rei Ayanami. Trust her, as you trust me, and most of all, trust
DJ. We won't hurt you. Ever." He had taken her hand in his to
emphasize the point.
Asuka looked down at their hands. Trust. The word seemed to
echo in her mind, and the more she thought about it the more she
realized how much she needed it now. The old defenses weren't working
anymore.
"Would you do me a favor?" Her voice was little more than a
whisper, the lower half of her face quite damp.
"Anything," he answered, and the next thing he knew Asuka had
wrapped her arms firmly around him and clung tightly, crying into his
shoulder. "...oh," he murmured, and out of simple instinct hugged
Asuka in return, realizing at the same time how badly -he- was in need
of someone to hold on to at that moment. He could almost feel the
torment Asuka was certainly going through, and quietly wished for her
to be well.
As the latest wave of tears subsided, Asuka felt as if the
pain and uncertainty were being washed away, warmth creeping in from
somewhere to fill the void, slowly overtaking her awareness. She
could feel the steady thump of Jon's heartbeat as she nestled against
him, which only served to make her feel even more tired. She could
have sworn she'd gotten a decent sleep... not that it mattered,
really... this -was- nice...
Jon looked down to discover that Asuka had fallen asleep in
his arms. Anubis was sitting nearby, looking up at them curiously.
"Well this is interesting," Jon remarked to the dog.
"woof," the dog remarked back.
Something else seemed to get his attention then, and he padded
over to the halfway-open door between the apartments, sitting there
and looking up at something, his tail thumping against the carpet.
Didn't take much guesswork to figure what he was looking at.
"Sorry," whispered Misato from the doorway. "I didn't mean to
eavesdrop, but... well, I got home, and nobody was... " She sighed.
"Well, I guess I did, actually."
Jon shrugged. "No great harm done, I suppose. Can you give
me a hand?"
With an effort, Jon and Misato managed to carry Asuka back to
her bedroom. More water threatened to escape from her closed eyes as
some less than pleasant dream occupied her mind: "...DJ..." she
whimpered, her grip on Jon tightening as Jon tried to extricate
himself and set her down. "Lass mich nicht... bitte..."
"shh..." Jon whispered soothingly in her ear. "Bitte ruhe,
kleiner Engel... dein Liebchen wird bald zurueckkommen... schlaefst du
dann."
"Liebchen..." Asuka mumbled. "Ich liebe..." At last, restful
sleep seemed to overtake her again, her grip on Jon relaxing enough
that he could pry himself loose and, with Misato's help, finish the
job of putting her to bed.

As DJ lay on his back and stared at the ceiling, invisible in
the darkness of the hotel room, he was startled to see and hear the
hotel room door opening. It cast a harsh rectangle of light on the
floor, and then closed just as quickly. Unable to see a thing since
the brief flash of light had wrecked his night vision, DJ could
nevertheless feel and identify the presence of someone else in the
darkened room from long familiarity. The presence's identity filled
him with surprise.
"Hello, Rei," he said softly. "How did you find me?"
"I don't know," Rei replied. He felt her draw nearer, felt
her slight weight push down on the side of the bed. "I followed your
pain." Her hand, cool and strong, found his own and held it. "You
needed someone."
"I don't know what I need any more," DJ replied, and the
admission caught him by surprise even as he said it.
Rei half-turned and looked down at his face; now that his eyes
had readjusted to the darkness he could see her eyes glittering in the
dim glow of the city lights through the window.
"Do you need me?" she asked him quietly. "Would you like
to... to join with me?"
There was a long moment of silence as the question sank into
DJ's unexpecting brain. He looked puzzled, then startled.
"What did you say?" he whispered, his eyes searching her face
in the dark.
The question echoed in his brain. In a flash, a memory he'd
been disconnected from tumbled back into his mind. White light,
painfully bright - Rei, naked, her eyes questioning. Her voice inside
his head, not in his ears:
Would you like to join with me? Would you like to join your
essence to mine? It won't hurt. It will show you the truth. I know
who you are. Let me show you who I am.
Her voice?
Whose voice?
What does it want?
What does it mean?
What was my answer?
A blinding flash.
Blackness.
The vision ended, but this time it didn't sink out of his
conscious memory. Though he was back with himself he remembered it
all. He opened his eyes to see Rei, still looking down at him, her
eyes full of concern.
"What's wrong?" Rei whispered. "Why did you scream? Did I
offend you?"
"No... no... I saw something. I remembered something. Your
question... triggered it, that's all." He slumped back against the
mattress, looking up at the ceiling. "Now, if I could only figure out
what the Christ it meant."
"Tell me," said Rei; in her soft voice it was almost a
command. He told her.
"The truth... " she murmured, a faraway look in her eyes.
"I wasn't getting a lot of oxygen at that point," DJ remarked.
"Could be the whole thing was just my brain twitching."
"Possible," Rei replied, but her tone was dubious.
We must tell him, she told herself. He knows so much
already... and he could tip the scales.
"Why?" DJ murmured.
"Why?" Rei repeated, puzzled.
"Why did you ask me that?" DJ wondered.
"I want to help you in any way that I can. If you need that
kind of comfort, I can provide it."
DJ blinked. "OK, well, can't argue with -that- logic. I
thought... you and Jon... "
Rei smiled slightly. "I love Jon very much," she said. "He
is... " She searched momentarily for the right word. "He is my soul
mate. He and I are alike... joined forever."
"Well, then, why - ?"
She looked into his eyes and replied calmly, "Jon and I both
love you, DJ. You have done more for us than you can ever understand.
We owe you more than we can repay." She paused, choosing her words
carefully, and then added, "It seemed right."
DJ reached up and cupped her cheek in his palm, feeling the
cool smoothness of her skin, and looked long and hard at her calm and
beautiful face. Emotions he couldn't begin to catalog welled up
within him, and then something snapped and he was crying like a baby,
chanting in time with his sobs.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... "
As he cried, Rei helped him up, then held him for a while; as
his sobs subsided, she turned back the covers and removed her
clothing.
As she slipped into bed beside him, DJ felt his eyes filling
with tears again, and he let a brief sob escape.
"No," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I can't. I can't. I'm
sorry... "
"I understand," said Rei as she snuggled close against his
side, putting an arm across his chest and nestling her chin against
his shoulder. "I will simply stay with you. You mustn't be left
alone tonight; solitude would kill you."
Her embrace became a notch tighter as she went on, with
surprising steel in her soft voice,
"I will not let that happen."
The statement shocked DJ lucid again, and abruptly, everything
that had vexed him for the last several days seemed perfectly clear.
"You're a wonderful person, Rei Ayanami," said DJ quietly,
putting his own arm under her and hugging her gently with it. "Don't
ever let anyone make you believe otherwise."
"I don't... anymore," she replied.
DJ would have thought more carefully about that statement, but
he was already falling asleep, so it filtered into his unconscious for
later examination.
Rei remained awake for several minutes after DJ dropped off,
listening to and feeling his strong, even breathing.
He has a noble, honest heart, she mused. He deserves to know
the whole truth.
And he will.
Soon.
With that promise in her mind, she fell asleep as well, and
dreamed of Jon.

"Didn't know you knew German," Misato remarked quietly as she
and Jon sat in the kitchen of Apartment 3-D.
"You grow up on a military base where several languages are
spoken regularly, you tend to pick up a few things," Jon replied,
shrugging.
"What did you say to her, anyway?"
"'Quiet, little angel, your lover will come back soon, sleep
now.'"
"What'd she say before?" Misato asked though she hadn't meant
to, and mentally kicked herself. The context was damned obvious
enough, wasn't it?
Jon answered anyway: "'Please don't leave me.'"
Misato was quiet for a moment, then her shoulders slumped.
"God, I feel old."
Jon wasn't entirely certain how to reply to that, and so
settled instead for a trip to the refrigerator, extracting a Pepsi for
himself and a Guinness for Misato. "Beer?"
"You know me too well," Misato said wearily, accepting the can
from Jon and joining him at the table. Jon had popped the tab on his
soda can and Misato was about to recpirocate, but instead found
herself just looking down at the unopened can and feeling increasingly
depressed. It wasn't the same without DJ there. She sighed.
Why does it always come back to DJ?
"You want to talk about it?" Jon asked quietly, and Misato
realized she must have been staring at the can for some time. The
color rose in her face for a moment and she fought it back down.
"Not even sure what I want to talk about," she mumbled,
staring at the wood grain in the table as if she hoped to see her
fortune in it. It seemed as if a good portion of her world had
recently spiraled out of control and she was at a loss as to how to
get a leash back on it.
"Have to start somewhere," Jon offered.
Misato seemed not to notice he'd spoken for a moment; instead
she sat back in her chair and regarded the can in her hand for a few
more seconds, then set it down on the table with a dull clunk. When
she spoke, it was more to herself than to Jon.
"His mother said he'd caught himself another heart..." Misato
sighed heavily. "How right she was."
Jon hadn't been present for the discussion in question, but he
could hardly fail to realize its subject. He regarded Misato for a
moment. "You care about him a lot," he stated. It wasn't a question.
"Probably more than I should," Misato answered, looking
faintly ashamed of herself. "I feel like I should have said
something, done something... maybe none of this would have happened."
["Why must everyone persist in acting as though something
-bad- has happened?"]
"Said what?" Jon replied. "And how were you supposed to know
this was going to happen? I don't think anyone did."
"I... I don't know," Misato huffed in frustration. "I just
feel like I should have. I should have understood them better, I
should have been here... I... oh, hell, I don't know, I'm just
talking."
Jon had to remind himself that the touch of someone else's
mind, and the instinctive understanding that came with that, was a
luxury very few people -- certainly no one here -- had.
"Misato... I won't pretend I'm an authority on this stuff,
but... at this point I think I'm the closest one to this whole mess."
That wasn't saying a whole lot, sure, but it was the truth, and Misato
seemed willing to listen to anything right then. "I'll tell you what
I told Asuka: this whole business took him by surprise. It took
-everybody- by surprise, and that includes Asuka. I don't think
either of them meant for this to happen, but it did, and now they're
trying to figure out just what it really means to them." He sighed.
"All this screeching about it probably hasn't helped any. They need
to work this out, and I think they'll have a better time of it if we
can all just back off and let them find their center. Whatever that
ends up being."
"So where does that leave the rest of us?" Misato sighed,
still not put at ease. "I still feel like I blew it."
"I don't see how you could be responsible at all," Jon
replied. "As I recall, it was Dr. Ikari who flew off the handle."
"That he did," Misato answered thoughtfully, more pieces of
that particular puzzle working at fitting themselves together in the
back of her mind. The shouting match, the rather hostile memo that
followed, then she'd found out it was Asuka, Ikari had had a meeting
with Rei... and then the whole thing had been forgotten about.
["I'd wager you wouldn't be saying that if I were Jon."]
Of course.
"He doesn't want DJ anywhere near Rei, does he?"
"He doesn't want anything to interfere with either of us," Jon
replied, bitterness seeping into his tone for a moment. "And he
hasn't come out and said it but he's very intent on our starting a
relationship."
Misato looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "That's creepy."
Jon shrugged. "It's science, or at least Professor Ikari
thinks it is."
Misato looked quizzical for a moment, then snapped her
fingers. "You're Project Ascension."
Jon nodded gravely. "I didn't think you were cleared for
that."
Misato grinned a not-entirely-friendly grin. "I'm not."
That elicited a smile from Jon. "Seems like everyone here is
looking for something they're not supposed to know," he said wryly.
Then, becoming serious again, he went on, "Yes, Rei and I suspect
we're the key part of Project Ascension. I guess we're supposed to be
the new Adam and Eve or something: new breed of humans who can connect
to each other on a measurable psychic level, increased understanding
of the world, promote the greater good of mankind and all that."
"I could think of better ways of going about that agenda,"
Misato said.
"I guess they think the end will justify the means."
"Well I'm not impressed," Misato said flatly.
"...Neither am I," Jon replied. "I don't like the idea of
being used... and I hate the idea of Rei being used. It's one thing
if she loves me for herself, but if she didn't, Ikari would be trying
to force us together anyway." Jon's eyes narrowed in the first flash
of genuine anger Misato could remember having seen from him. "I don't
like the thought of that."
The look and the statement triggered another memory in
Misato's mind, another part of the transcript she had read in Ikari's
angry memo:
["I've got half a mind to take the others with me when I go."]
"Jon... have you ever... thought about leaving? The two of
you?"
"Several times," Jon answered. "But where would we go and
what would we do? Rei and I have always been part of this program;
it's all we have, all we've ever known. And besides, it's either put
up with this, or let Third Impact happen. I think the choice is
pretty clear."
"Mm. I've never been too clear on exactly what the Second
Impact was, come to that. Oh, sure, I know the cover story about the
asteroid, but I was -there-, I know it wasn't anything like that.
Just another thing I'm not cleared for... but I've decided it's time I
found out anyway."
"SEELE have always been secretive," said Jon.
"Tell me about it. Until today I didn't even know that NERV
used to be part of X-COM, or that SEELE all but commandeered it and
all the technology developed in the study of the Second Impact.
Commander Ikari's wife and Ritsuko's mother were right in the middle
of all that... and they're both dead now." Misato scowled. "I'm as
big a believer in coincidence as anybody, but to me, that stinks."
Jon nodded. "It certainly seems that SEELE went to great
lengths to wrest control of the project from X-COM, but no one on
X-COM's side has ever been able to determine why."
"That's what I'm going to find out next," said Misato.
"I think..." Jon spoke tentatively. "I'm thinking two heads
might be better that one. Or maybe three." He angled his eyes in the
general direction of one of Hal's sensors.
Misato regarded the boy for a moment. There was merit in what
he said; he certainly deserved to know what plans the people in charge
seemed to have for him, and for Rei. And his own intimate knowledge
of X-COM and the training he'd acquired there would be quite helpful
in these efforts.
And, well, there were very few stable anchors left in NERV.
Lord knew Misato needed one now, and Jon had proved to be nothing if
not stable. She reached across the table and took Jon's hand.
"Done," she said, and her smile was warm again.
Feeling the strength of her handhold, Jon sensed that she
needed a little bit more than a handshake, so he got up and moved
closer. The understanding in his eyes told Misato everything she
needed to know, and she stood up and hugged him tightly. It was a
wonderful experience, and in the back of her mind she wondered how
long it had been since there had been any kind of real warmth in her
life. She felt greatly relieved... and a little drowsy too, she
realized as she wobbled a bit on her feet.
"Are you all right?"
"Er, yeah..." she said. "Just felt tired all of a sudden."
"I seem to have that effect on people," Jon said with a wry
grin, and Misato tried to chuckle, though it ended up being a yawn.
"Gah, I must've been up longer than I thought..."
"You get some sleep," Jon smiled. "I'll mind the store."
"Thanks, Jon," said Misato, stifling another yawn. "We'll
talk more about this soon."
Jon nodded as Misato waved goodnight and went into her room.
"...what a day," Jon wheezed as he sank down onto the couch,
turning his attention to Pen-Pen and Newbie, the only remaining
conscious beings in the place. "What do you guys think of this?"
"Waugh!" the penguin replied.
"Woof!" the dog concurred.
"Me too," Jon replied wryly. He sat in silence for a moment,
considering his options. He didn't feel like reading. Rei had taken
his car (NERV having seen fit to retroactively 'requisition' that
Avenger from Harr Dodge), so he couldn't go far. It was too early to
go to bed.
He turned his attention toward the glowing red sensor. "Hal?"
"Yes, Jon?" the computer's calm voice replied.
"Are you up for a game of chess?"
"Certainly."

For a very brief instant, upon first awakening, DJ felt
awkward. Here he was, after all, in a room in a cheap motel, waking
up in the morning with someone in his arms who was not, technically
speaking, his lover. That feeling passed in an instant with the full
memory of the events of the evening before, and thereafter there was
no room in his heart for awkwardness. Rei's face was right before his
own, and so composed in sleep that she surpassed even her usual
impassiveness in serenity. He remained still, watching her sleep,
rolling the events of the previous evening over and over in his mind.
Part of him realized that common propriety insisted he extricate
himself decorously, but he was too loath to disturb her, and remained
where he was, enjoying the warmth and closeness, savoring the powerful
emotions that rolled through him as he looked at her face.
Presently she stirred, and slowly opened her eyes. An
electric thrill ran through DJ as she raised them to his own.
Suddenly the ethereal feeling was broken, and he was acutely aware of
their less-than-decorous position. With a stammered apology, he made
as if to back away and extricate himself.
Rei would have none of that, though, and tightened her arms
around him, pulling him closer, into a firm, warm embrace that he soon
found himself instinctively returning. For a few long minutes, the
two held each other as though they would never let go; but eventually
they did, and Rei drew back to look at his face. To his surprise and
delight, she was smiling that rare and beautiful smile, her red eyes
gleaming in the light coming through the curtains.
"How do you feel?" she asked softly.
DJ considered his answer to that question for a moment or two,
then said, "I'm alive." Remembering the black pit of despair he'd
been staring into the night before, he shivered a bit and added,
"Thanks to you."
She hugged him again, and whispered into his ear, "You're
welcome." Then, releasing him and drawing back again, she went on,
"We should go home. The others must be worrying."
They dressed in silence; but as they were about to leave, DJ
put out a hand and stopped Rei.
"Hm?" Rei inquired, turning to face him again.
"Rei... what you learned of me in the void yesterday... you
saw a side of me I don't often see myself. It's not something I'm
very proud of... I... "
He trailed off as she placed a fingertip against his lips.
"I'll never speak of it," she said.
He smiled. "Thank you."

They arrived home to find Misato in the kitchen of 3-D, trying
her hand at a rare bit of cooking (and, from the look of things, not
doing very well). A play of emotions too complex to read passed over
her face when she saw DJ, rumpled, his eyes still hollowed from the
emotional gauntlet he'd run, but steady on his feet and with something
of his old strength back in his eyes. Chief among the emotions at
play, though, was relief, and she was still trying to decide what to
say when he beat her to it.
"Hullo, Misato," he said. "I'm sorry I was such an ass
yesterday. I, er... had a lot on my mind."
To her credit as an administrator, Misato tried, honestly
tried, to be stern. "You gave us all quite a turn, disappearing like
that. I'm not even going to go into what you did wrong on the
mission."
DJ nodded. "I know, I'm sorry. I had some things I had to
think about, on my own."
To her credit as a -person-, Misato didn't try too hard to
stay stern. Seeing DJ's honest remorse, the uncharacteristic
hesitation in his eyes, she dropped all pretense of being his superior
officer and drew him into a hug.
"Welcome home, then," she said.
"Thank you," he replied, returning the embrace. When they
separated, his eyes were wet.
Misato looked at DJ then, and, for the first time, truly
understood his vulnerability. He was without pretense, all his usual
easygoing insulation stripped away. He was uncertain of his footing
and of his motivation for the first time in her experience with him.
She knew then that, if she wanted, she could alter his course. With a
word, she could make him abandon all that had gone before, and make
him her own.
She gazed at him long and hard, with a look in her eyes he
would not understand until a long time later, and then, finally, she
spoke.
"Asuka's in her room," she said. "Why don't you go and talk
to her?"
DJ looked dubious. "You're sure that's a good idea."
"Better than the alternative," Misato replied. "I can't
imagine you -want- to leave her hurting. That's not the DJ I know."
"No... no it isn't," replied DJ. Squaring his shoulders, he
squeezed her hand once, then went into the hallway.
Over the past six months, Misato Katsuragi had watched DJ
Croft go into battle with otherworldly enemies possessed of powers
beyond human comprehension, aided only by an ill-understood and
temperamental technology only five people on Earth could control; but
she had never felt as proud of him as she did now, or feared for him
as much.
And watching him go to fight those battles had never given her
such an aching feeling of loss, either.
She turned to see Rei Ayanami watching her. As Misato's eyes
met hers, Rei smiled, almost imperceptibly, and nodded.
Seeing that, for some reason, Misato felt a little better, and
a little closer to Rei than she ever had before.
"Come on," said Rei softly. "Let's get Jon and go have
breakfast. My treat."
Misato regarded the sorry remains of her latest culinary
attempt wryly, then grinned. "Sure."

DJ knocked, but got no answer. The door was unlocked, so he
opened it a bit, poked his head in and called her name softly:
"Asuka?"
"Go away," came the muffled reply. Asuka was still in bed,
facing away from the door, her face half-buried in a pillow, and she
did not turn as he entered despite her command.
"Asuka, I came to apologize."
Silence.
"I was tired, confused. What I said was unwarranted and
cruel. I'm sorry."
Silence.
DJ sat down on the edge of the bed and put his hand on her
shoulder. "Look, would you at least look at me, please? I can hardly
fling myself upon your mercy if you won't even look at me."
Finally, Asuka turned to face him. Her face was unreadable -
not angry, not glad to see him either. She looked mostly confused,
and sad.
"I didn't want to love you," she said softly. "I had other
plans. I'd read your dossier, watched your combat films. I knew you
were good - maybe as good as me, maybe even better. I was ready to
hate you... but... you wouldn't let me. When I abused you, you gave
it right back, but always calmly, always in control. No one's ever
done that. I didn't know how to react to it."
"Asuka, I - "
"Let me finish," she interrupted. "I started to realize that
you were a lot like me, and I envied you for the things you have that
I don't... your mother, your closeness to Misato and the others, the
way nothing ever seems to bother you. Suddenly I wanted... wanted you
to know -me- that well. I haven't let anyone get close to me since my
parents died, sometimes I think I forgot how, but you ignored my usual
defenses and walked right into my heart. I've been thinking about it
a lot since we argued, and I know now what made me ask you what I
asked you."
She paused, then took his hand and said, "Damn you, DJ Croft.
I didn't want to love you, but I do."
DJ looked at her in silence for several seconds, stunned by
all that she'd revealed. When he finally did speak, what came out of
his mouth was so unutterably lame he briefly wished for a thunderbolt
to strike him down for coming up with nothing better:
"I... I'm sorry about the sonnet."
Asuka stared at him for a moment, and he waited, inwardly
cringing, for her to explode.
Explode she did, but not the way he expected; it started with
a tiny, involuntary turn-up of one corner of her mouth, progressed
through a muted snort to silent shivering, and then swelled into a
full-on, clean burst of laughter as she sat up and pulled him hard
into a hug.
"We're like an old song," she observed between winding-down
chuckles.
"'That's All'?" DJ replied.
"You know it?"
"One of my favorites," he replied.
"There's so much we don't know... "
"There's time for us to find it out." DJ looked thoughtful
for a moment, then smiled. "Speaking of which, you might be
interested to know that I've done some new reading."
Asuka looked quizzical, then sly. "Oh really," she replied.
"Oh yes. Would you like me to give you a quick run-down of
what I've learned?"
"You can't change the subject just by doing this," she said
sternly.
"Bet you I can."
"Oh - !"

/* The Mavericks "Blue Moon" _Apollo 13_ */

NEXT EPISODE:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of "Spiritus Mundi"
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indigant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
- "The Second Coming", W.B. Yeats

NEON EXODUS EVANGELION 2:8
DIES IRAE
12/28/97

"I have always been a part of this."

--
Benjamin D. Hutchins, cofounder, Continuity Line Editor, webmaster
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited - An AnimeTech Limited Company -><-
Visit us on the World Wide Web at http://www.eyrie.net/