The Ringil song
J.K.Banks
Sing this one over and over whenever you think you're ready to kill
someone.
Ringil Bells (to the tune of Jingle Bells)
(Chorus)
Ringil bells
Ringil bells
Ringil all the way
Oh what fun to hack
and slash and kill
and stab and slay, HEY!
(repeat without the HEY!)
Down at 50'
My very first trip down
I found a long sword (4d5)
And hauled it back to town!
I scummed 10 thousand turns
an ID scroll to buy
I killed a couple singing drunks
I hardly even tried, OH!
(Chorus)
I went a good bit deeper
My heart and brain did soar
I did not get much sleep, or
eat or do my chores, FOR!
I was having so much fun
Stabbing orcs in the stomachs
And killing Bert and Tom and Bill
And Lokkak, dirty lummox! OH!
(Chorus)
Draebor did appear
And brought along his friends
I fought them hard, I really did!
But the game I feared would end
I looked up in the help files
I looked there under 'A'
I pressed Aa*t
And blew those imps away! HEY!
(Chorus)
I then began stat gain
It was 'bout half past nine
I finally met Wormtongue (at last!)
And split his crooked spine
The clock it did strike midnight
The room was in a hush
I fought an Ancient Multi-hued
And beat it's brains to mush, OH!
(Chorus)
This song is very long
it really ought to end
but before I do so I must say
One thing more 'bout my friend
We got down to Baphomet
We got him down to three
Then he breathed force (the SOB)
And sleep could come to me
But Ringil it leapt up
And hid itself anew
And someday we will meet again
And go give him his due, OH!
(Chorus)
Peter de Blanc
cooler chorus :)
However, the verses need some work, IMHO.
Bryan Head
This is truly sick.
How about one for the RNG? To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree".
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
How likely are my chances?
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
How likely are my chances?
I meet a dragon out of depth,
And hope I can outrun it's breath.
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
How likely are my chances?
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
What happiness befalls me?
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
What happiness befalls me?
The sword I find seems great at first,
Until I find out that it's cursed.
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
What happiness befalls me?
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
Your rolls can teach a lesson.
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
Your rolls can teach a lesson.
I know I'll die in one more hit,
But blink into a jelly pit.
Oh RNG, Oh RNG,
Your rolls can teach a lesson.
Martin Bazley
> This is truly sick.
>
> How about one for the RNG? To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree".
This one isn't much to do with Christmas, but it's quite good (*I*
think!)
There are wombles with the sandworms,
And wombles roaming Bree,
There are wombles in Cirith Ungol,
Though people have yet to see;
<chorus>
We've got WOMBLES EVERYWHERE,
North, South, East, and West.
Though personally we're from Midle-Earth,
'Coz DarkGod is the best.
There are wombles in the dungeon,
With katanas in their hands,
Killing monsters left-right-centre,
Wearing armour packed with sands;
<chorus>
There are wombles in Gondolin,
Giving things to the poor,
There are wombles in the wilderness,
Eating apples and throwing the core;
<chorus>
--
- Martin Bazley _________________
/RISC OS Rules OK!\
/_/洵洵洵洵洵洵洵枯_\
J.K.Banks
> Well, I've seen some AD&D-related Jingle Bells parodies, and this has a much
> cooler chorus :)
> However, the verses need some work, IMHO.
Aw, you don't like the rhyme of "stomachs" and "lummox"? Or the line
about Wormtongue? Well, I did write that at 23:00, so that might
explain it :)
Mark Constantino
I found ringil,
Oh, it jingles,
I found ringil and with it I fight!
And I pity
Any churl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And it's ringil
That I hardly can believe it's real.
See the pretty list in that character sheet there:
Who can that attractive churl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for shade,
For I'm blessed
By a pretty wonderful blade!
GIRL CHORUS
Have you met my good friend Warrior,
The craziest churl on the block?
You'll know him the minute you see him,
He's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.
He thinks he's in love.
He thinks it's from Spain.
He isn't in love,
He's merely insane.
It must be the steel,
Or some rare armor-ies,
Or far too much zeal,
Or maybe it's fleas.
Keep away from him,
Send for Wormtongue!
This is not the
Warrior we know!
Low-level and lame,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and for shame
And out of his mind!
He's found Ringil!
WARRIOR
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the town should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
GIRL CHORUS
La la la la . . .
WARRIOR
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
GIRL CHORUS
La la la la . . .
WARRIOR
See the pretty churl in that mirror there:
GIRL CHORUS
What mirror where?
WARRIOR
Who can that attractive churl be?
GIRL CHORUS
Which? What? Where? Whom?
WARRIOR
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
GIRL CHORUS
Such a pretty he!
ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing at parade,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful blade!
WARRIOR
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any churl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
See the pretty churl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive churl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I do love
This pretty and wonderful toy!
Kitkitsquirrel
>Such a pretty face,
>Such a pretty dress,
>Such a pretty smile,
>Such a pretty me!
This is a cutie picture. That's Marie Juntilla in the background, looking
jealous as Danika Camins gives Matthew a big Christmas kiss, I think 1996: