MISC> Cosby on Ebonics....

[Gleason Sackman]

Date: Sat, 11 Jan 1997 18:33:14 EST
From: KIDSPHERE Mailing List <kids...@vms.cis.pitt.edu>

Date: Fri, 10 Jan 1997 10:22:51 -0500 (EST)
From: RMacl...@aol.com
Subject: Cosby on Ebonics....

Elements of Igno-Ebonics Style

By BILL COSBY

I remember one day 15 years ago, a friend of mine told me a racist joke.

Question: Do you know what Toys "R" Us is called in Harlem?

Answer: We Be Toys.

So, before the city of Oakland, Calif., starts to teach its teachers
Ebonics, or what I call "Igno-Ebonics," I think the school board should
study all the ramifications of endorsing an urbanized version of the
English language.

After all, Ebonics be a complex issue.

If teachers are going to legitimize Ebonics, then all authority figures who
interact with children--such as law-enforcement officers--will have to
learn it as well. In fact, the consequences of a grammatical accident could
be disastrous during a roadside encounter with a policeman.

The first thing people ask when they are pulled over is: "Why did you stop
me, officer?" Imagine an Ebonics-speaking Oakland teenager being stopped on
the freeway by a non-Ebonics speaking California Highway Patrol officer.
The teenager, posing that same question Ebonically, would begin by saying:
"Lemme ax you . . ." The patrolman, fearing he is about to be hacked to
death, could charge the kid with threatening a police officer. Thus, to
avoid misunderstandings, notices would have to be added to driver's
licenses warning: "This driver speaks Ebonics only."

Since people with driver's licenses tend to drive, what happens when an
Ebonics-speaking youth drives into another state? Kids who speak Oakland
Ebonics would find it difficult to converse with someone fluent in
Pennsylvania Ebonics. And Tennessee Ebonics would be impossible to decipher.

Consider the following phrase: "I am getting ready to go." Even before
Ebonics, Southern people changed the way they announced their imminent
departure by saying: "I am fixing to go." Ebonically schooled Tennessee
kids, however, would declare: "Ima fi'n nah go." Meanwhile, depending on
your geographic locale, that same idea would be expressed in a variety of
ways, such as: "Ima go now," or "I be goin' now," or the future imperfect
"Ima be goin' now."

If Ebonics is allowed to evolve without any national standard, the only
language the next generation would have in common would be body language.
At the moment--if there are any current rules to Ebonics--one of them seems
to be that any consonant at the end of a word must be dropped, particularly
the letter G. This allows certain words to be strung together into one
larger word. Ergo, the Ebonically posed question "Where was you workinlas?"
translates into English as "Where were you working last?"

Of course, this query is most likely to be found on a job application,
which means that Ebonics-speaking youths will not get a job unless they are
aware that "working" and "last" are two words instead of one.
Therefore, companies interested in recruiting Ebonics-speaking workers
would need to hire Ebonics-speaking assistants to provide translations.
That would open up employment opportunity by creating the new job of
"Ebonics specialist." But even a staff of Ebonics specialists could cause
chaos.

Suppose an Ebonics-speaking nurse hands a patient some eye drops and says,
"Put 'em in an ear fur near." (Translation: "an hour from now.") A
non-Ebonics-speaking patient might fill his ear with Visine.

Then there's the tourist problem. Until now, foreign visitors only had to
learn a modicum of English to get by in America. A quick Berlitz course and
they could haltingly say: "How are you?" With Ebonics an official language,
tourists also would need to learn an Ebonics greeting such as: "Sapnin'?"

Another factor inherent in the widespread acceptance of Ebonics would be
its cultural impact. In Hollywood, for instance, film studios would be
delighted to have two categories instead of one in which to group
African-American actors. While there always would be parts for "non-Ebonics
black people," casting agents also would be asking: "Can you act Ebonics?"
Naturally there would have to be English subtitles for Ebonics movies.
(Maybe Ebonics is actually a conspiracy to resurrect the old "Amos & Andy"
show.)

A lot of kids make the argument for Ebonics by insisting: "But this is the
way I talk on the street!" In London, I guess Cockney would be the
equivalent of Ebonics. And though they may study Cockney at Oxford as part
of literature, I doubt they teach it. Granted, if you don't teach Ebonics,
the children will find it anyway. But legitimizing the street in the
classroom is backwards. We should be working hard to legitimize the
classroom--and English--in the street. On the other hand, we could jes
letem do wha ever they wanna. Either way, Ima go over heanh an learn some
maffa matics an then ge-sum 'n tee an' then I'll be witchya.

Another point of view........
Anne Macleod
RMacl49796
Medford, NJ