TR: Fat City Crack
Amanda Tarr
OK, ok...so most of you Colorado climbers have already done this route.
Stick with me....this is one of my few chances to post a TR on a free
climb.
Amanda
*****
The original plan was to climb Alexander's Chimney. But I... ahem... injured
myself in the gym a mere 2 days before we were to depart.
<refuge 29> mail geoff
Subject: um...about Alexander's
Hi-
I...uh... hurt my butt in the gym last night and can barely walk today.
I'm not really sure if the hike up to Alexander's would be a good thing
for me this weekend. Lemme know what you think.
Amanda
.
Cc:
<refuge 30>
Phone call from Geoff:
"Loser! hahahahahhahaha! You hurt your butt in the gym? hahahaha"
"shut up and leave me alone geoff."
We decided to go rock climbing, and picked the Nose on Sundance Buttress,
Lumpy Ridge, as a suitable target.
Coming over the hill into Estes Park, we both looked at Sundance Buttress,
looked at our watches, looked at each other, and decided to climb something
on the Book. Thusly, Fat City Crack became our new objective.
Less Wine! More Sleep! was all I could think on the approach.
More Wine! More Wine Please? was all I could think of as I racked up to lead.
Between wall climbing, keyboard induced injuries, and general laziness, my
free climbing has really suffered this season. The base is still there, but
man do I feel shaky!
Pitch 1 was nice. The first few moves above a menacing tree root have slightly
funky pro, but after that the pitch is really neat, having a bit of everything
from fingers to off-fists, a purple TCU to a #4 camalot. The sun hit the
belay just as I reached it. What a glorious morning! A few stray yellow
leaves clung to the aspens below, and some fresh fall snow was seated in the
hollows on Long's Peak.
Geoff took off for the second pitch. I cringed slightly as he made the first
few moves off the belay. "Systems ready for impact, Captain." A nice, somewhat
delicate finger crack followed by a traverse to the base of a bombay-like
chimney, and there Geoff contracted BLS (Big Ledge Syndrome).
"Wow, check out the scenery!"
"Yes, Geoff, please climb that chimney."
"Yah, so, um... maybe Alexander's next weekend?"
"Speaking of chimneys..."
"Oh, that... Yah, gimme a minute. My calves are really pumped from the
finger crack."
"Hmmm... uh huh... " *snooze*
Anyway, I soon got my laughs as he shoved himself into the slot. 'Course
I knew my turn was coming up, and after all, the chimney part of the
pitch is only .8+ ;)
The roof. Yah, this was a good idea for a weenie like me! Ugh...how do I
get myself into this nonsense! Geoff backed up a fixed 1.5 friend with a
bomber .75 Camalot and started pulling over the rim. Left foot over the lip,
pushing in opposition to a handjam and a lieback off of a flake/sidepull.
Foot almost as high as his hands. Right hip up over the lip, foot flailing
in space. Thrutch... strain... flail and... "Falling!"
"ShitIHateCatchingFallsBetterLockThatOffNow!"
A fairly clean fall; Geoff made a ballet-like landing on the slab below the
roof. After a bit of recup, he headed back up to the roof for another try.
Jam, lieback, thrutch, shit. The second fall wasn't quite so clean. He had
really gone for it, and didn't know the fall was coming. Really, I think the
problem was that he was too damn tall, and ended up getting hellish leverage
on the hand jams from trying to scrunch his legs up over the rim. Anyway,
the rack managed to escape from under his shoulder and was swinging wildly
around his neck. He was facing outward for this fall, and the expression on
his face was the same I've seen people make when you accidentally open the
outhouse door on them. The misbehaving rack gave him quite a blow to the head
from a #2 Camalot. (Luckily we didn't send all our gear to the deck!)
At this point, Geoff was none to happy about the 2 12-15 footers (we
decided that it sounded much better to say "Geoff whipped 30 feet") as
well as the blood running down his forehead, so he pulled on a couple
pieces of gear to get over the roof.
Me, I just plain weenied out. Mentally, I find it very intimidating when
someone who free climbs better than me has a hard time with some moves. I
got to the edge of the roof, hung, hung again, and pulled over. Once I
got one foot above the lip, I had a much easier time scrunching myself up
on the brink and eventually walking my hands up until I was standing. It
seemed that I miraculously lost about 20 pounds now and again, however. As
if some higher being was giving me some support. Why was Geoff struggling
so hard to belay? Wow...what a weenie...he is really out of shape!
Feeling rather lackadaisical, I took my shoes off at the belay and slowly
sorted gear for my lead. Somehow, Geoff convinced me that I'd need every
piece on our wimp (read: huge) rack. I was hoping to leave most of it so
that he could carry the weight.
Down at the truck, it seemed that we had doubled up on all the cams.
Well, except the .75 and .5 Camalots, both of which were used in the
belay. No biggie, I thought as I headed out the right leaning lieback/
undercling/jam crack.
I must say, this pitch is utterly stellar! I had a bit of a snafu, however,
mid-pitch. I was standing on a horizontal and looking at the steepening
angle of the rock above. I leaned around to the right for a look at the
crack, to see a perfect .75 Camalot crack with an odd constriction here and
there, enough for a .5. Well...hmmm... I guess I'll just go, I thought. But
life is not always as smooth as we'd like it to be, and this "just go" plan
turned out to be a bomb. Up and down, up and down I went, afraid to commit
to the lieback. Finally, for my head, I set a rattly nut and yarded on it
a couple times, convincing myself that if I pinged I'd most definitely fall
straight down. Gotta commit you wimp, I thought.
Foot up at chest height, pressed against a crystal. Hands pinching the flake.
Pull up and try and twist a toe against the flake. Hand over hand up the
vertical railing. Left foot slipping, each jerky thrutch pushing the right
foot off of its crystal. Damn, I'm gonna fall... How long's it been since I
fell free climbing? Honestly, I don't think I've pinged since I dislocated
my ankle in Tuolumne... Amazing that all of this can go through one's head
during a few instants of terror.
Yet somehow, there I was, hand in a decent jam, both feet on small edges
stuffing a #3 camalot in an undercling. The rest of the pitch seemed to
glide by effortlessly. I was struck by the perfect, non-flaring hand crack
which I came upon. It was so much fun that I considered down climbing the
short section to do it again. Scampered up the ramp towards the Cave Exit,
to the very end of my nylon leash. I fit in a belay between the other 3
parties who were converging at the infamous and slightly humorous bottleneck.
There were a wide variety of personalities present at this little confluence.
A quiet hardman/lady, some friendly (no, not from Boulder?!?!?!?) Boulderites,
some loud people, and Geoff and I, the token bumblies. The moment Geoff
heard the boisterous pair, he said, under his breath: "Why does this always
happen to ME?" Apparently, last time he had done Femp, there was some woman
yelling the entire way up Pear Buttress. She described, in intimate screeching
detail, every move she made on the entire route. Her husband, however, was
apparently very very quiet. Probably trying to compensate. Climbers from
George's Tree to Femp were complaining about the noise, but there was to be
no silence.
Geoff grabbed the gear and led up to where Loud1 and Loud2 were positioned.
Politely, he queried, "Which way are you planning on heading out?"
"The Cave Exit variation to the right."
"Mind if I sneak through? We'll be out of here before you know it."
"NO. I'm beginning to rack up now! I want to be able to lead AS SOON
AS I AM RACKED."
"Oh." (I think Geoff's hearing was damaged... he seemed a little disoriented)
As I have no patience for this type of situation, I told Geoff to forget it
and just do the cave. As Geoff was puzzling out the funkiness of the Exit,
my ears were treated to the ravings of a madLoud.
"OK, TAKE"
"OK, NOW GIVE ME SOME SLACK AND TAKE MY PICTURE."
"OK, SLACK ON RED. SLACK ON RED!!!"
"TAKE MY PICTURE."
"SCREW THE CAMERA!!!! KEEP AN EYE ON ME."
"hows it going Geoff?"
"TAKE MY PICTURE."
"OK, I JUST GOT A GOOD PIECE"
"TAKE MY PICTURE WHILE IT STILL LOOKS STEEP."
"it's going ok...I think I remember how I did this before."
"TAKE MY PICTURE."
.
.
.
It took me quite awhile to figger the roof out. It's highly humorous
to watch someone trying to do the Cave Exit, especially considering
it's rated 5.7. Finally, however, we were coiling the ropes and
heading for the rappel which breaks all the basic rules of safe rappels.
You wrap the rope over a partially dead branch which isn't exactly
near the base of the tree. Yet it's bomber, I swear! ;)
Anyway, the rest of the report would be even less interesting than the
first half, so I'll spare the details of the walk down and the drive
to Boulder. Nonetheless, I have a few closing remarks. You see, I read
most of this to Geoff over the phone while I was really bored at work, and
he was geniunely surprised that I didn't make fun of him. In fact, I was
even complimentary when I said he is the better free climber. Shhh...I
skipped over that part when I read it to him.
Therefore, believe nothing which I have written. I soloed the entire route
and fixed the rope. Geoff tried to jug, but it was too hard for him. I had
to set up a hauling system. It's ok though. I don't mind doing this kind of
thing for my friends.
Tony Bubb
Amanda Tarr wrote:
>
> OK, ok...so most of you Colorado climbers have already done this route.
> Stick with me....this is one of my few chances to post a TR on a free
> climb.
Question: Is there still a fixed tricam at the lip of the roof.
(PROD PROD) BTW... if you have partners that don't like
rooves, or loose jams in a flare, don't take them up the
Fat City Crack, someone might hear them trying to do the
roof, think they are badly injured, and call the rescue
party or the rangers!
-T.
taimi metzler
>Amanda Tarr wrote:
>>
>> OK, ok...so most of you Colorado climbers have already done this route.
>> Stick with me....this is one of my few chances to post a TR on a free
>> climb.
>
>(PROD PROD) BTW... if you have partners that don't like
>rooves, or loose jams in a flare, don't take them up the
>Fat City Crack, someone might hear them trying to do the
>roof, think they are badly injured, and call the rescue
>party or the rangers!
>
and be unable to hold up their head in the company of other
climbers. this could so damage their self-esteem that they might
contemplate Drastic Measures, like soloing big walls.
on the positive side, they'll never be at a loss to answer the
question "What was your Most Embarrassing moment?"
taimi
--
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"Sure, there are differences between men and women, but the distances
aren't as far as Mars and Venus--probably more on the order of Scranton and
Altoona." --[if you know, let Me know]