TOYZ!
Samantha Wilkinson
>I'm posting to tell everybody that I have new toys now. Ironically, the
>same week I got all these toys I had a horrible stomach virus and danced
>the funky chicken with death.
So, dancing the funky chicken with death is the way to get new toys? Is
this like a rain dance? How does this differ from the regular chicken
dance? (<-- cue for Rone to treat us to a diatribe on white,
middle-class America's fascination with really dorky dances)
>I lay on my bathroom floor puking my guts out for a week, but I am now
>eating solid food again and I was well enough to watch Gulliver's Travels
>without retching, so I guess I'm going back to work.
I sat through the whole 2nd part (missed the 1st part) 'cause I noticed
Graham Crowden's name in the credits (I enjoyed his work on the British
sitcom "Waiting for God.") Apparently I missed him. Oh well, it wasn't
the least entertaining piece of television I've seen.
>This week I have an exact way to measure just how truly pathetic my life
>is. I spent 70 bucks and got 2 more megs of memory for my crappy 386.
>That brings me to a grand total of FOUR.
By amazing coincidence (some might attribute this to the hivemind
effect), the same amount of memory I have on my Mac Classic. Ha! My
computer's more useless than yours! Right now I'm using a computer that
belongs to my dad's work. I'm going to cry when I have to move out of
my parents' house.
[rhapsodizing deleted]
>The sickest part of this whole thing was how IMPORTANT these two extra megs
>were for me. How big an impact they had on my life. Even in the depths of
>my fever and sickness, I took consolation in the fact that I could now run
>NETSCAPE!
Waaahh! I have a UUCP account. My only consolation is that I can now
swap UUCP stories with Tom Richardson while the rest of you feel
excluded.
>I thought it was some prank being played by God. I finally get two more
>megs of ram, so he decides to kill me before I can enjoy it.
>I think sometimes about how my life would improve if some divine lightning
>bolt would come out of the sky and just obliterate this machine.
>I would have to go OUTSIDE. I would actually watch TV instead of just
>listen to it with my back turned.
Is this anything like being read to aloud?
>I might even give up Usenet and meet some REAL PEOPLE.
Aha! So you subscribe to the theory that all of us CHYX are really
tentacles of Lisa Higgins. Sorry to disillusion you dude, but I've met
a couple people on this 'froup in real life and they can testify to the
fact that I am a REAL PERSON.
>But this little sucker just keeps on grinding. Three keyboards, 1 monitor,
>and four mice later, this little bastard WILL NOT DIE.
>It's dusty, it's ancient, it's poorly maintained, but it surived countless
>moves and all manner of physical abuse. Hell, I even tried to Doublespace
>this hard drive during on ELECTRICAL STORM.
My Classic crashed so often I began to think of this as normal computer
activity. Still using the original mouse, keyboard, and monitor :-)
though.
Sam, vigorously practicing her interpretation of the funky chicken death
dance
--
Samantha Wilkinson s...@nescient.mv.com
TheFrEd(c)
: (Bunches of crap deleted)
: My Classic crashed so often I began to think of this as normal computer
: activity. Still using the original mouse, keyboard, and monitor :-)
: though.
You must keep in mind that it is a Mac. The evil end of computers...
-Izzy-
I misspell There, for I am. --The FrEd
A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!
Elisabeth Higgins
>ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) writes:
>So, dancing the funky chicken with death is the way to get new toys? Is
>this like a rain dance? How does this differ from the regular chicken
>dance? (<-- cue for Rone to treat us to a diatribe on white,
>middle-class America's fascination with really dorky dances)
Once, when I was working for this one company that is different from the one I
am working at now, these two white people demonstrated the "Cabbage Patch" in
a company-wide meeting.
Thank you for the opportunity to get that off my "chest." It's been bugging me
for a while.
>>This week I have an exact way to measure just how truly pathetic my life
>>is. I spent 70 bucks and got 2 more megs of memory for my crappy 386.
>>That brings me to a grand total of FOUR.
>
>By amazing coincidence (some might attribute this to the hivemind
>effect), the same amount of memory I have on my Mac Classic. Ha! My
>computer's more useless than yours! Right now I'm using a computer that
>belongs to my dad's work. I'm going to cry when I have to move out of
>my parents' house.
HA HA!!! I MAY HAVE A BOSS POOTER, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY FUKKEN *FOOD*!!! AND I
LIVE IN A BOX AND I HAVE NO ELECTRICITY AND SHIT!!! SO I HAVE TO RUB BALLOONS
ON MY HEAD TO MAKE THE INTERNET WORK!!! BUT I HAVE *SIXTEEN* MEGS OF RAM AND A
SOUNDCARD WHAT'S HOOKED UP TO MY *STEREO* AND A SOOPER VGA CARD AND *THREE*
DISTINCT OPERATING SYSTEMS (well, four, but one is in a box, and two of the
ones on my pooter now don't really work at the moment), AND I HAVE A FUKKEN
GIG AND A HALF WHERE I PUT MORE AND MORE AND MORE GAMES AND STOOPID UTILITIES
THAT I FORGET WHAT THEY DO, AND I HAVE ALL THE LITTLE SOUNDCLIPS FROM PLAN 9
AND 2001 AND I HAVE BOB BARKER AND RICHARD NIXON AND THEY ALL TALK TO ME WHEN
I AM IN MY FUKKEN BOX THAT I LIVE IN!!!!
AND SOON I'M GONNA GET A FUKKEN MOTORCYCLE AND THEN I WILL HAVE TO GIVE AWAY
MY BOX AS A SPECIAL PREMIUM WITH MY GOAT AND I AM GONNA PUT MY COMPUTER AND MY
CDS AND MY STEREO IN A FUKKEN SIDECAR AND THEN I AM GONNA COME AND KICK YOUR
ASSES!!! YEAH!!! YOU!!! IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU BETTER BE SCARED NOW!!!!
>>I might even give up Usenet and meet some REAL PEOPLE.
>
>Aha! So you subscribe to the theory that all of us CHYX are really
>tentacles of Lisa Higgins. Sorry to disillusion you dude, but I've met
>a couple people on this 'froup in real life and they can testify to the
>fact that I am a REAL PERSON.
Technically, I am no longer "The Only Woman on the Internet" anymore, but any
other CHYX what are on it are just researching their roles for when they play
me in one of those krazy movies they make about my life, like Sandra Bullock
did before. And now they are going to start making kewl made-for-TV ones for
sweeps week starring CHYX like that Meredith Baxter-Birney and Valerie
Bertinelli and all of those other crying CHYX. They are prolly gonna have to
put in shit about somebody TRYING TO STEAL MY CHILD, and maybe they will leave
out the whole Only Internet CHYK and stuff, but that is only because I am a
well-rounded person. But you can mark my words. Mark my words.
I should note here, though, that there is still no such thing as a "Brent." If
a "Brent" tries to arrange to meet you outside of the Internet, don't fall for
it. They will just go in your underwear drawer while you're gone and plant
bugs all over your house.
>>But this little sucker just keeps on grinding. Three keyboards, 1 monitor,
>>and four mice later, this little bastard WILL NOT DIE.
>>It's dusty, it's ancient, it's poorly maintained, but it surived countless
>>moves and all manner of physical abuse. Hell, I even tried to Doublespace
>>this hard drive during on ELECTRICAL STORM.
>
>My Classic crashed so often I began to think of this as normal computer
>activity. Still using the original mouse, keyboard, and monitor :-)
>though.
HAHAHA!!!! I HAVE A FUKKEN SINCLAIR 1000 RIGHT NEXT TO ME NOW, AND IT WORKS
AND EVERYTHING, BUT I JUST LAUGH AND LAUGH AT IT!!! HA!!! I HAVE A LAMER
POOTER THAN YOU DO, AND I HAVE A BOSSER POOTER THAN YOU DO!!! AND I LAUGH AND
LAUGH AND LAUGH*!!!!
FROM,
LISA-CHYK
*I am mostly laughing because I haven't eaten or slept in three days, but I am
also partly laughing because I am THE WINNER!!!!!!!!!!
The secret to this offense--and I'm serious now--is that all the
linemen have nice butts. Some of us have fat ones, some of
us have flat ones, but they are all nice, strong butts.
--Cowboys guard Nate Newton
Andrew S. Damick
: You must keep in mind that it is a Mac. The evil end of computers...
I once turned this HP over to find -its- evil end. It didn't seem to have
one, but, while searching, I discovered a small family of large rodents
living in a small apartment embedded in the plastic casing. They weren't
brought to me by AT&T, I'll betcha.
The BOB(c)
--
WiSdOmInFeRnO *+* http://www4.ncsu.edu/~asdamick/www *+* WiSdOmInFeRnO
"It seems you have lots of details, and Andy still has the wisdom."
>Kevin P. "Disco Hair" Neal<
WiSdOmInFeRnO *+* http://www4.ncsu.edu/~asdamick/www *+* WiSdOmInFeRnO
Bruce Ediger
:no trouble disposing of it. When I lived in Manhattan, and not in the
:lousy outer borough of Queens, odd bits of junk (old washing machines,
:dead televisions, etc) would disappear within minutes of being placed
:outside.
Alcoholic bums _love_ washing machine rotors. This strange attraction
is a known Scientific Fact, with NO ANTIDOTE, yet it remains unexplained.
Believe it,
Or NOT!
Ben Weiner
> ... in alt.fan.the-bob Samantha Wilkinson (s...@nescient.mv.com) wrote:
>: (Bunches of crap deleted)
>: My Classic crashed so often I began to think of this as normal computer
>: activity. Still using the original mouse, keyboard, and monitor :-)
>: though.
>You must keep in mind that it is a Mac. The evil end of computers...
Watch it, bucko. We'll have none of this computer advocacy-D00D shit
that goes on in alt.fan.the-bob in alt.religion.kibology, nor insulting
Ms. Wilkinson, the Kibo '96 advance-person in New Hampshire. When
Kibo becomes President, he WILL have an enemies list.
Besides, computer wankie-sizing will get you nowhere. NOWHERE,
YOU UNNASTAN' ME???! MY COMPUTER IS WAY BETTER THAN YOURS DOOFUS!!!1!1!
STINKIN' CHUNK OF CRUNK!11!!
_______________________
| |
| EAT A BOWL OF FUCK!* |
|_______________________|
*This statement is brought to
you by Rutgers University
ben
--
http://www.odci.gov/cia/~bweiner Jackbooted Government Thugs, Inc.
P.S. I'm now running on a custom radiation hardened dual-processor Sun
Sparcstation 20 - it's built entirely from vacuum tubes, 12AX7s
mostly, and programmed off Mylar paper tape - under a mountain in
South Dakota. Do me a favor, don't tell them I'm here, OK?
P.P.S. Note to E Teflon Piano: The address bus in a tube computer makes
a pretty good guitar amp. I gotta get rid of these cheesy
Sparcspeakers though.
P.P.P.S. ObAFCDC: 1. Hi from NORAD! 2. Using inline gifs to display
your ASCII barphics on your web page has to be the ST00PID3ST
waste of bandwidth and HTML I've ever seen. Hint:
<pre> ... </pre>.
TheFrEd(c)
: : You must keep in mind that it is a Mac. The evil end of computers...
:
: I once turned this HP over to find -its- evil end. It didn't seem to have
: one, but, while searching, I discovered a small family of large rodents
: living in a small apartment embedded in the plastic casing. They weren't
: brought to me by AT&T, I'll betcha.
AT&T or Sprint? I always thought sprint was the one full of bugs...
I mispell There, for I am. --The FrEd
d a v i d i s r a e l d a y
#####################################################################
w e d n e s d a y s p a c i n g
licence # 16.5736
David DeLaney
>HA HA!!! I MAY HAVE A BOSS POOTER, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY FUKKEN *FOOD*!!! AND I
>LIVE IN A BOX AND I HAVE NO ELECTRICITY AND SHIT!!! SO I HAVE TO RUB BALLOONS
>ON MY HEAD TO MAKE THE INTERNET WORK!!!
This is my favorite image of the week.
Dave "Hey wait - I just figured out how she keeps *breaking* it!" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeableURLAPvi
http://enigma.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Elisabeth Higgins
>lis...@netcom.com (Elisabeth Higgins) writes:
>>HA HA!!! I MAY HAVE A BOSS POOTER, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY FUKKEN *FOOD*!!! AND
I
>>LIVE IN A BOX AND I HAVE NO ELECTRICITY AND SHIT!!! SO I HAVE TO RUB
BALLOONS
>>ON MY HEAD TO MAKE THE INTERNET WORK!!!
>
>This is my favorite image of the week.
>
>Dave "Hey wait - I just figured out how she keeps *breaking* it!" DeLaney
Nope. That was back when I used to have Coke that I could spill on it.
FROM,
DELANEYLUV
PS: I forgot to tell you before in that other thread that you get to be an
honorary not-white-guy if you make me some sammiches.
Crackpottier
ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) writes:
>This week I have an exact way to measure just how truly pathetic my life
>is. I spent 70 bucks and got 2 more megs of memory for my crappy 386.
>That brings me to a grand total of FOUR.
and
s...@nescient.mv.com (Samantha Wilkinson) wrote:
>By amazing coincidence (some might attribute this to the hivemind
>effect), the same amount of memory I have on my Mac Classic. Ha! My
>computer's more useless than yours!
On 14 Feb 1996, Eli M. Balin wrote:
> My computer, I fear, is possessed. The fan rattles for no apparent
> reason, my disk drives switched their designations ONE WEEK after I got
> the damn thing (anyone care to tell me why I still have a 5.25" drive?),
> and it refuses to speak to my printer.
Pure Luxury, the lot o' ya. Right now, I'm typing this posting on
a Dymo Label Maker! Without a spell checker!
> I still have my old 8088.
Me too. And the fan on mine still works. I think I'll pull it out
and use it for something.
-Gary
%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%$%*+-+*%
8//=/\-, <- Pornographic .sig -- go ahead, censor me!
that_guy.
>HAHAHA!!!! I HAVE A FUKKEN SINCLAIR 1000 RIGHT NEXT TO ME NOW, AND IT WORKS
>AND EVERYTHING, BUT I JUST LAUGH AND LAUGH AT IT!!! HA!!! I HAVE A LAMER
>POOTER THAN YOU DO, AND I HAVE A BOSSER POOTER THAN YOU DO!!! AND I LAUGH AND
>LAUGH AND LAUGH*!!!!
Ha. I have a Sinclair ZX-80, featuring one (1) kilobyte of RAM.
Also, I have to rub cats against my sweater to power it.
Sincerely,
That guy.
PS I am not Joe Bay.
Jaffo
:>I lay on my bathroom floor puking my guts out for a week, but I am now
:>eating solid food again and I was well enough to watch Gulliver's Travels
:>without retching, so I guess I'm going back to work.
:
:I sat through the whole 2nd part (missed the 1st part) 'cause I noticed
:Graham Crowden's name in the credits (I enjoyed his work on the British
:sitcom "Waiting for God.") Apparently I missed him. Oh well, it wasn't
:the least entertaining piece of television I've seen.
I must agree. The show sucked me in. It was very well done. I wonder how well
it conforms to the real work of literature. I would ask Michel(l)e Tepper if I
wasn't in her killfile.
:By amazing coincidence (some might attribute this to the hivemind
:effect), the same amount of memory I have on my Mac Classic. Ha! My
:computer's more useless than yours! Right now I'm using a computer that
:belongs to my dad's work. I'm going to cry when I have to move out of
:my parents' house.
I have my eyes on the 2800$ dream machine from Zeos/Micron. I've been drooling
over this thing for a year and a half, and I keep hoping the price will drop.
The machine I have now is a lot like my favorite president.
It's had organs removed and replaced. It's old and out-dated. Everyone I talk
to about it snorts derisively at me, but it keeps on ticking. Just like Ronald
Reagan!
:Waaahh! I have a UUCP account. My only consolation is that I can now
:swap UUCP stories with Tom Richardson while the rest of you feel
:excluded.
I feel excluded. But I'm getting used to it.
:>I might even give up Usenet and meet some REAL PEOPLE.
:
:Aha! So you subscribe to the theory that all of us CHYX are really
:tentacles of Lisa Higgins. Sorry to disillusion you dude, but I've met
:a couple people on this 'froup in real life and they can testify to the
:fact that I am a REAL PERSON.
Higginz tentacles? *Grrrowwwl* Thanks for that lovely imagery.
WHO in this froup can testify to your reality? And how do I know THOSE people
aren't just clever constructs created to deceive me!
There are no women on Usenet! I stand by my delusion. And there are even less
on IRC.
:My Classic crashed so often I began to think of this as normal computer
:activity. Still using the original mouse, keyboard, and monitor :-)
:though.
Oddly enough, I have REPLACED my original mouse, keyboard, and monitor. I have
destroyed no less than THREE keyboards, all with the exact same beverage.
All of them have been destroyed while I was drinking 7-Up. The crazy part is I
only drink 7-Up on VERY rare occassions. (It has icky sugar in it.)
But sure enough, every time I drink 7-Up, I spill it on a keyboard.
I drink a lot more Diet Pepsi, but I never seem to spill that. Is there a
Physics principle behind this?
HELP! Is there a theorhetical physicist in the house?
:Sam, vigorously practicing her interpretation of the funky chicken death
:dance
GIF! GIF!
Jaffo
TwisT²
Crackpottier <ga...@freenet.mb.ca> wrote:
>> I still have my old 8088.
You had an 8088, my god that must have been heaven!
>Me too. And the fan on mine still works. I think I'll pull it out
>and use it for something.
if you have any copetency in doing elecric stuff they make great portable
fans for the summer
brit...@river.it.gvsu.edu
-Archbishop of Kentcounty- Spine my brothers-
Thank you for your bulldog-like tenacity
and swift action in this matter. - Bruce Ediger
David DeLaney
>FROM,
>DELANEYLUV
Back! Back, you savage!
>PS: I forgot to tell you before in that other thread that you get to be an
>honorary not-white-guy if you make me some sammiches.
Well, you-all-uns gotta _show up at my store_ some evening for this to
happen - we don't deliver. [On the plus-or-minus side, I may soon be there
6 days a week... plus: money, minus: being there six days a week...]
Dave "variations on toppings #347" DeLaney
The Deth Veggie
: P.P.P.S. ObAFCDC: 1. Hi from NORAD! 2. Using inline gifs to display
: your ASCII barphics on your web page has to be the ST00PID3ST
: waste of bandwidth and HTML I've ever seen. Hint:
: <pre> ... </pre>.
Well, first of all... It's DAMN cool to have have a gif of Ascii art.
Don't you recognize STYLE when you see it? Duh.
Second of all.. Do some experimentation.. You CAN'T center Preformatted
Text (Ascii Art, at least)... it comes out all garbled.
-Deth "Cooler than Thou" Veggie
1986 You've grown up with cDc.
1987
1988 The awkward adolescence, confused teens
1989 and stumbling 20/30-nothings.
1990
1991
1992 We always knew.
1993
1994
1995 Now we're going to turn on you,
1996 and leave you for dead.
CULT OF THE DEAD COW
http://www.L0pht.com/cdc.html
"show and prove"
Atlas Eclipticalis
Veggie) wrote:
> Ben Weiner (bwe...@electron.rutgers.edu) wrote:
>
>
> : P.P.P.S. ObAFCDC: 1. Hi from NORAD! 2. Using inline gifs to display
> : your ASCII barphics on your web page has to be the ST00PID3ST
> : waste of bandwidth and HTML I've ever seen. Hint:
> : <pre> ... </pre>.
>
>
> Well, first of all... It's DAMN cool to have have a gif of Ascii art.
> Don't you recognize STYLE when you see it? Duh.
>
> Second of all.. Do some experimentation.. You CAN'T center Preformatted
> Text (Ascii Art, at least)... it comes out all garbled.
Also see the HTML 3.0 (28 March 1995) spec, page 115.
---
E am not especially clever, just basically very average, E merely try
to maximise thee effectiveness of whatever gifts or abilities E have by
focusing them towards what E want to happen.
Genesis P-Orridge
finger for PGP pub key 9 Jul 81 TGHQGB
The Deth Veggie
: But, from you Cult of the Dead Cow people, I'd expect something more
: creative. Like, write a clever server-push hack that penetrates the
: point-and-drooler's window manager and automatically resizes their
: browser window to the correct width to make the ASCII come out centered!
: Come on, get creative here!
Oh, I dunno.. I think GIFs of Ascii art is DAMN creative.... I mean.. you
don't see anyone else doing it, do you?
Pretty damn unique, if you ask me.
Hell, even if you DON'T ask me.
Besides, they're small gifs. Stop whining.
- Deth "Boy, do I have to Pee." Veggie
COMING SOON: cDc WristWatches.
Bev
The Deth Veggie <veg...@l0pht.com> wrote:
>COMING SOON: cDc WristWatches.
Are these in ASCII as well?
-- bev. sorry about that U2 thread....
--
-- [bev] -- [wednesday] -- [i'drash] -- [http://www.tezcat.com/~wednsday] --
"I DO love it when you get all cool and linguistic on me." - Joey Belville
TwisT²
veg...@l0pht.com (The Deth Veggie) wrote:
>Oh, I dunno.. I think GIFs of Ascii art is DAMN creative.... I mean.. you
>don't see anyone else doing it, do you?
i've seen a few
brit...@river.it.gvsu.edu
-Archbishop of Kent County-Spine my brothers-
The Deth Veggie
: In article <4h4irr$6...@sundog.tiac.net>,
: Are these in ASCII as well?
No, but the shirts do have Ascii-art CowSkulls on the sleeve.
-Deth "Daddy Mackadocious" Veggie
TwisT²
veg...@l0pht.com (The Deth Veggie) wrote:
>But we did it first. And best.
>
>Therefore, we win.
you have certified dates to back this up i presume?