the real scoop on windows 95
citizen kane
of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle
airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his
instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a
landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and
the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the
fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the
fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and
shouts to the guy, "Hey, where am I?" To this, the solitary office worker
replies, "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275
degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the
runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the
engine as the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple,"
replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The
answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless,
therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the
airport is just five miles away."
> > >
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TOP 10 THINGS PEOPLE THINK THE '95' IN 'WINDOWS95' REALLY
STANDS FOR
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10. The number of floppies it will ship in.
9. The percentage of people who will have to upgrade their hardware.
8. The number of megabytes of hard disk space required.
7. The number of pages in the *EASY-INSTALL* version of the manual.
6. The percentage of existing windoze programs that won't run in the
new OS.
5. The number of minutes to install.
4. The number of calls to tech support before you can get it to run.
3. The number of people who will actually PAY for the upgrade.
2. The number of MHz required for the OS to run.
1. The year it was due to ship.
Some others:
a. The number of seconds before it crashes.
b. Bill Gates' age when it ships.
c. The required number of megabytes of RAM to run at useable speed.
d. The percentage that will be complete on the shipping date.
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citizen kane e-mail: dwhi...@mail.sdsu.edu
homepage: http://rohan.sdsu.edu/home/mfitzger/index.html
"buildings burn... people die...
but true love is forever."
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William Kronert
: There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple
: of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle
: airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his
: instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a
Let me guess, he was using windows 95 on his instrument panel :-)
Bill
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
William Alan Kronert wkro...@sunstroke.sdsu.edu San Diego, Ca
http://www.crl.com/~wkronert/singles.html
http://www.crl.com/~wkronert/home.html
citizen kane
(William Kronert) wrote:
> citizen kane (dwhi...@mail.sdsu.edu) wrote:
> : There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple
> : of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle
> : airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his
> : instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a
>
> Let me guess, he was using windows 95 on his instrument panel :-)
"it's not a bug, it's a feature!"
William Kronert
: In article <421d5s$5...@pandora.sdsu.edu>, wkro...@sunstroke.sdsu.edu
: (William Kronert) wrote:
: > citizen kane (dwhi...@mail.sdsu.edu) wrote:
: > : There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple
: > : of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle
: > : airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his
: > : instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a
: >
: > Let me guess, he was using windows 95 on his instrument panel :-)
: "it's not a bug, it's a feature!"
Whatever it is, clean it up and move it out :-). We have real
forces at work with Mac on the Road :-).
Mike Lemons
It has scrolled off my system.
Thanks.
--
Mike Lemons | "In 20th-century Old Earth, a fast food chain
mi...@crash.cts.com| took dead cow meat, fried it in grease, added
| carcinogens, wrapped it in petroleum-based foam,
| and sold 900,000,000,000 units. Human Beings.
| Go figure." Dan Simmons - Hyperion
Sammyboy
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane,
with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming
into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles
visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around
looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty
>___________________________________________________________