[WWF] SummerSlam by StriDex: Popping the Zit that is WCW
Rick Scaia
Ha ha... all you who doubted shall burn in the eternal depthes of
hell! The Hot Poker at SummerSlam, you said? FOOLS!
From saying the Hot Poker system of rating matches would return
at SummerSlam, to then admitting that the "revamped" SS line-up
was "promising on paper," the Titan critics had a tough time
tossing nothing but criticisms the past month. And after a rock
solid show with -- get this! -- ZERO (0) DUDs, even a weekly hour
of WCW with great talents such as Liger, Sabu, and Benoit will
have trouble riling me up more than this show did. Why? Because
Nitro, even with these great talents, has no choice but to retain
a heavy "SUCK" factor in the form of the Dungeon of Doom and Hulk
Hogan. Partial Hot Poker reviews, here I come.....
The closest I came to being bored, or even a little bit distracted
on this card was the women's match. And really, even though I had
almost zero interest in the lady heel du jour, it wasn't awful.
The closest I came to actually deciding "To hell with RSPW, popular
opinion, and good common sense... this shit is REAL!" came during the
ladder match. In the history of the WWF, I only "marked out" this
bad when Ricky Steamboat was destroyed by Randy Savage. While for
pure un-expected super-crazy shit, this ladder match could not match
the 1994 version, I think it did many other things better. And
take away afforementioned ladies' match, and the whole card tended
more towards the ladder match (quite entertaining) than the other
side of the spectrum (quite WCW-like... har har).
It helps that leading up to the show, there was a ton of interesting
stuff going down to set the PPV up. Horowitz's winning streak,
the Razor/Shawn tension, and ESPECIALLY the Royal Plan, made the
angles to be played out every bit as much fun as the wrestling
itself. As you know, I like that. And I also liked how the show
ended with plans for thenext 4 weeks seeming every bit as
interesting. The announcement for the All Three Titles Up
For Grabs match at the next IYH guaranteed that my band of
fellow mutants would reassemble in force on September 24.
I'm not sure where to place this PPV among the "greatest of all
time." I really liked it a lot. I had more fun watching it
than I did WM10. More fun watching than I did Rumble '92.
And maybe just about as much fun as Rumble '95. The only thing
this show had against it, in comparison to the great Rumble PPV
this year is that the show peaked about 20 minutes before
the main event finished. RUmble was perfectly paced, with
Shawn's Rumble win the deserving highlight at the end, but
with other great stuff (like the LT angle) interspersed.
Anyway, enough pointless Meltzer-esque analysis... once again,
the play at home version of my review is included. I will rate
all matches according to the oft-used Star System, but will not
tell you with star rating goes with each match. Here are the
nine star ratings:
** ****3/4 **1/2 ***1/2 **1/2 *** ***3/4 **3/4 **1/2
I'm sure someone could do the math on that and find out it
was a pretty damn good show. It's up to you, the home viewer,
to figure out what the hell matches go with each rating above.
Hint: It might help if you re-watch the show in the exact smae
state fo inebriation I was in.
And for the record, no, nobody got all the ratings right for the last In
Your House PPV, where I did this very same gimmick.
SummerSlam 1995
===============
From the start, meaning the kick-off off the preview show (aka "Sunday
Night Slam"), this PPV had a great feel. Pettingill was very good
at getting the show and angles over, and Ross was there adding a very
realistic approach to the event. While the preview show didn't tell
us anything new, it packaged the last several weeks of WWF action
in a very exciting way. If I didn't know better, I'd say the whole
event, from pre-game to final bell, came off like a genuine
sporting event, rather than sports entertainment. Whatever the hell
that means.
During the pre-show, Pettingill was in the ring playing with a ladder,
which got me worried that the most anticipated match on the card
would go on first... but alas, I had nothing to worry about.
Instead, the first match on the PPV was:
1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi
---------------------
This was a perfect opener. Each guy took his time getting
warmed up, so the first part of the match was on the mat, and
pretty much had Kid and Hakushi trading hold-for-hold. FWIW,
Hakushi got over big with my crew, who had not seen him before.
Before too long, it was highspot time. Hakushi performed the
Flying Space Tiger Drop (or whatever the hell you call that
back-handspring moonsault tope... which, BTW, I think is a hell
of a lot better name, even if I don't really know what a
"tope" is). Kid pulled out that one move that I haven't seen
him use since he and Jannetty were wrestling the Quebecers a
year and a half ago where he runs into a corner, jumps to the
second rope, thendoes a flying cross body to the other guy, who
is outside the ring. Good, creative stuff on the whole, with
neat reversals and unexpected twists. A really nice finish came
when Kid was going for his big spinning kick off the ropes,
but Hakushi caught him and turned it into a neat little one-arm
side-power bomb. I liked it alot. I know both guys could have
really turned it up and blown us away, but I see no reason to
complain. Very good match.
Once we got started on such a great note, it was time to nter
a stretch of rock solid undercard/prelim stuff. Starting
with:
Bob Holly vs. Hunter Hurst Helmsley
------------------------------------
The fact that to everyone (from the fans in Pittsburgh to my dense
friends in front of the tube) *knew* Helmseley was going over did
not help fire us up. However, that fact also did
not stop Holly and HHH from putting on a good performance. HHH
has a great look, and sufficient skills that he really impressed my friends,
who marked him as an IC Champ by nedxt year. Holly, who is not untalented,
did unleash enough offense to keep things interesting. After it looked
like maybe Holly would really take the upper hand, he ran into a
Pedigree, which in addition to really impressing my buddies as a cool
finisher, also put Holly down for the three count. Nothing special,
but totally solid.
That very same description also applies to the next match:
Smoking Gunns vs. Blu Twins
---------------------------
With no real angle setting up this match (excpet for the annoucners,
for the past 2 months saying "These two teams REALLY want to get in
the ring with each other.") there wasn't much heat. Too bad, too.
A little excitment might have been enough to spur these guys on,
and tkae this match from a solid undercard bout to a really exciting
match to find out who the #1 Tag Team contender is. As is, the
match is very old school, with both teams playing their role (Blus
do a lot of illegal double teaming, Gunns do the sympathy bit into
a hot tag) fine. Nothing special again, with a clean finish (which
I didn't expect, since both team really need to stay over....).
Gunns got one of the Blus alone in the ring and did the Sidewinder
(Side suplex/leg drop combo) for the pin.
Now, it's time for some more excitement. Barry-mania is running
wild. Even though nobody expects him to actually win for a fourth
time in 10 weeks on a major televised match.
Barry Horowitz vs. Skip Candido
-------------------------------
The worked a really different style than I expected... I figured
it'd go with Barry getting a ton of near falls early to tease the
upset, then the heels would cheat, get the advantage and destroy Horowitz
for the win. Instead, the match opens with Barry doing traditional
offense, but not going for the early win; at one point, he suplexes
Skip from the inside of the ring to the floor, which was cool. After
that move, the lovely and talented Sunny "threw in the towel" and stepped
into the ring, asking the ref to stop it. Earl Hebner, in his only
true acting piece since the 1988 Twin Ref scandal, tells her, "This
ain't boxing, this is wrestling! Get outta here!" I guess Hebner
hasn't received the memo from above which tells all Titan employees that
the WWF product isn't wrestling or sport, but actually "Sports
Entertainment." Oh well... either way, the match continues, but with
Skip eventually getting in some offense. Back and forth stuff, with
Sunny getting more involved than she has in any WWF match to date,
with leg trips and the like. Finally, when Skip is on offense,
Hakushi decides to return the favor of earlier in the afternoon (when Skip
caused the White Angel to be pinned by Horowitz) by coming down to
ringside and distracting SKip. In the confusion, Barry secures
an inside cradle and -- sing along, no --- HOROWITZ WINS AGAIN,
HOROWITZ WINS AGAIN, HOROWITZ WINS AGAIN! Great angle here, wherever
it goes... and the match backing it up was really good, too. Man,
I love this stuff.
After another "peak," it's time for the only true "Valley" on the card.
It's time for the women's match.
Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye Women's Title Match
------------------------------
I went for another 6-pack when the intros started, and got back
missing about 20 seconds of action (I am told). I was sure Blayze
would go over here, as Faye is not only untalented, but also not
over at all. Upon hearing my logic, then seeing Faye for themselves,
my friends all agreed. The action was not bad, I guess. Blayze
did EVERYTHING she could to keep this from being bad, and she
succeeded. Bertha's offense seems to rely on belly bumps. After
about 6 minutes of Alundra keeping things fairly interesting,
Harvey interferes, which distracts Blayze... Faye takes advantage
of the break in concentration, causing Blayze to miss a move off the
ropes, then snaring her witha quick power bomb. When the ref's hand
hit the third time, I was shocked. We have a new women's champ.
WHy? I don't know. It was totally unexpected. I guess they want
the inevitable rematch on RAW (where Blayze regains here gold) to
be a ratings-getter, so they did the switch. LIke I said, this was
not bad at all, just the worst of the night.
Now it was time to move onto the Big Four. Undertaker, Bret, Shawn,
and Diesel, the top four faces in the top four matches. With the
UT up next, I am expecting to be disappointed, instead, I am
pleasantly surprised.
Undertaker vs. Kama Casket Match
-------------------
This was no wrestling masterpiece, but I was quite happy to see that
it DID NOT SUCK. Instead of a supernatural emphasis, this seemed more
to be just a wrestling match, with an interesting stip added on. And
honestly, this was easily the best casket match yet in the WWF. UT
and Kama did some fair stuff int eh ring, but the drama with the
casket was what made this match work. Instead of the lame teases
or outright non-use of the casket till the end of the match (as in past
matches), UT and Kama did spots on top of the casket, inside the casket,
and everything. Now, until UT uses the spot *I* called (when I saw
UT and Kama both on top of the closed casket, and was feeling particularly
creative) to finish a match, I will not be turly amazed with a casket
match. The spot? UT piledrives the opponent throught the top of the
casket for the win. Once I thought of it, I wondered why it hadn't
been done yet. Then I remembered... UT would have trouble piledriving
Kamala, Giant Gonzales, Yokozuna, or Kama, who are the only guys
he's faced in this type of match. Clean finish came when UT tombstoned
Kama, and stuffed him in the coffin. Nothing great, not even really
all that good. But surprsingly acceptable. I'd watch it again.
Next up, we finally get to see Dr. Isaac Yankem. I've heard
good things, I've heard bad things.... but I was gonna wait
to see what the guy brings to the table for myself.
Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem
==========================
This match started off really slow, and I got to thinking that maybe
Bret is just gonna dog it till he's got something "important" to
do again. Within 5 minutes or so, I wasn't worrying anymore. While
this never got to the level of Hart's matches carrying Diesel, it was
pretty good stuff. Basic Bret Hart match, with Yankem doing some
really good brawling/power moves in between. What would ahve been
the spot of the match looks like it was blown; Yankem attempted the
patented Sandman legdrop from the top rope with your opponent's throat
draped over the top rope. You know what I'm describing. But instead
of landing it solidly, it came off as more of a grazing shot. Crowd still
popped, and to be honest, so did I. Hart once again tied his opponents'
ankles together and beat on him (as he did vs. Diesel). Yankem went
to the top a couple times, actually, and really came off as a much
more talented Sid type wrestler. If it wren't for the gimmick, he'd be
the next BIG THING for the WWF. After enough pretty good brawling, maybe
at about the 15 minute mark, Hart finally got Yankem set up for the
SharpShooter. However this is also when Lawler decided to abandon the
broadcast table; he got Yankem to the ropes, and the 'Shooter had to be
broken. They did about 5 more minutes with Lawler outside the ring
interfering, before the ref finally called for the DQ finsih, giving
Hart the match. This did not stop Lawler and Yankem from destroying
Hart, though. They finally got him tied up in teh rope, essentially
hanging him (as Hart's throat was tied between the top two ropes).
They had Hart lay unconscious in teh ring for several minutes before
having him assisted back. Good match, great post-match angle. VERY well
done, unlike the lame arm injury angle WCW did with Hawk a while back.
A couple non-wrestling things of note at this point. First, when
Bret was finally recovering, they decided to cut to an interview
with Razor (as he was up next). About a minute in, Hart, assisted
by two officials stumbles through, and Razor does a great "Awww,
tough shit.... well, who really cares?" look, which just about
cracked us all up. Scott Hall has his character down to a T.
Also, because Lawler abandoned the table, for the rest of the show,
Dok Hendrix will provide color. This was a GREAT idea., as Lawler
was just having an awful night. His comedy was, as the French say,
"Le Weak." We were all getting really tired of him. Hendrix was
solid the rest of the way out, and should be the #1 color
guy from now on. Hell, I'm starting to like him almost as much as I like
Heenan. Anyway, all this set up the reason the sport of professional
wrestlig exists. That's right, it's"
Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon InterContinental Title Ladder Match
------------------------------
I am very tempted to just say, "GREAT MATCH. 'Nuff said."
I don't know what was more amazing, the incredible stuff they
did in this match, or the fact that none of the incredible stuff
they did in this match was teh same as the incredible stuff they did in
the first ladder match.
This match was a lot different from the first one, as it was a
much more cohesive total match. It told a story, and didn't seem
to be a mere collection of "Oh Shit!" spots like the first one.
For starters, let me just mention the bump of the night, for approximately
the eight hundredth PPV in a row goes to Shawn Michaels, who evidently
saw Skip take the suplex from the ring to the outside, and decided
to show him how to do it right. Michaels took a beating on that bump.
Then they went into a 10 minute long segment that had Razor being
VERY creative in destroying Shawn's left knee. This was set up by
Shawn taking the 2nd best bump of the night (the voting was extremely
close, BTW), in which he was on the ladder, and in the midst of
being knocked off, entagled his leg and knee in the ladder. Looked
either like a legit fuck-up, or the most ingenious idea for a bump
I've seen in a long time. Either way, it set up some great stuff.
When Michaels mounted his comeback, the highlight was a moonsault
bodyblock from the 3rd rung from the top of the ladder. Amazing.
As we got up to the 20 minute mark, both guys were outside, and Razor,
seeing Shawn get into the ring, decides to go for the auxiliary ladder,
which is stored underneath the ring (in case the first one broke).
Before he can set it up and go for the belt, he has to stop Shawn,
who has rapidly gotten halfway up his ladder already. He sledgehammers
him in the back, stunning him, then using Michaels' position on the
ladder, puts Shawn into the Razor's Edge. Very nice. Razor struggles
to his feet, then starts setting up his own ladder. In the interim,
Michaels is slowly recovering. Michaels grabs his own ladder, and starts
setting it up. Both guys are going up on opposite ladders. When they
get to the top, Michaels superkicks Razor off his ladder, but nearly
takes himself down in the process. With Razor down, Shawn tries to
set up to grab the gold, but his knee gives out, and he cann't
reach it. So he back body drops Razor out of the ring, giving himself
plenty of time for another try at the gold. This time, despite
hanging on the belt, the belt doesn't come down. This was accidental,
I'm sure. On the next try, Shawn is careful to unbuckle the belt
first, then grabs it and brings it down. And we have a winner.
Razor hands Shawn the belt and raises his hand. Great, great match,
and the fans obviously loved it all. Like I said, different in almost
every respect from the first ladder match. But excellent nonetheless.
I am pencilling in the third and final ladder match (this time,
for the World Title held by Shawn, and incorporating the best spots
from both matches) for WM13. At least, if I was in charge, that's
what I'd do.
We now cut to another segment with "Dean" Douglas. BTW, he's
been doing them all night, and has easily been more entertaining
and believable tonight than he has been previously. This segment,
in particular, was great. Shane was more himself as he went into
a tirade about the definition of "Bad" in relation to the "Bad Guy"
Razor Ramon. He was funny, snide, and condscending.... until
Razor interrupts class, that is. Razor puts the bad mouth on Shane,
who appears to back down by begging off. As soon as Razor turns
to leave, Shane attacks, but his punch is blocked, and Razor clocks
him. Great bit. No cheesy kung fu sound FX, either, just legit
fist hitting face. Very realistic angle. They kind of kill a bit
of the heat by closing the segment with the "Dean" on his ass,
nursing his jaw reachin gup and dragging his nails accross the
portable blackboard. That's when the cheesy sound FX kicked in.
Oh well.....
Also, as we are leading into the main event, we let me run down the key
plot points we were brought up to speed on duringthe show. Basically, Luger
was seen in the building, talking to President Monsoon. Davey Boy
was seen entering the building. Who knows what the next phase of the
Royal Plan may be? Let's see:
Diesel vs. King Mabel WWF Title Match
--------------------
Decent match, although, it seemed like the fans in Pitt were every
bit as drained by the ladder match as we were, cuz it took some
effort to get stoked for this one. Early on, Diesel reprised a
tope, as he flew over the top onto Mabel. This worked, as far as
getting our attention back. Nothing great here, but then again,
that's not what anyone would expect. Both guys did what they are
capable of, and the storyline and a mid-match mini-angle enhanced the
match quality. When, about 10 minutes in, the ref took a great bump that
left him KO'ed outside the ring, Mo came in and made it 2-on-1. Diesel
was just coming back when Lex Luger ran to ringside, then stepped into
the ring. WIth Diesel hot on a comeback, he didn't stop to ask names.
He just laid into Mabel, Mo.... and Lex! Whenever Lex would get
to close, Diesel would lay him out. Interesting.... however,
once Diesel gets it back to 1-on-1 against Mabel, we find that is
just a swerve, as Luger proceeds to run Mo back to the dressing room
whilst pounding on him. Back to 1-on-1, Diesel is able to get
the upper hand, and finally, get the win. Not bad at all.... the
work was OK, and this angle is pretty interesting. More interesting
than anything else Luger's done since, ohh, 1990.
On the whole, it was a super show. It stands on its own as a good
contained PPV, but also sets up a ton of really interesting stuff.
I can't wait to see results from tapings tonight.
This is also where we cut to "SummerSlam Plus" with Todd. Monsoon
takes teh opportunity to announce the main event for the next
In Your House. Yoko and Owen defend their tag team title against
the Dynamic Duo of Michaels and Diesel. The catch? Michaels
and Diesel will also be defeding their belts. If one of them is
pinned, whoever pins them gets their gold. Make sense? This should
be fascinationg.
The verdict: ZERO hot pokers needed. A definite THUMBS UP.
Later.....
--
Rick Scaia |
The Large-Hearted Boy | Hmmmmmm...
ag...@freenet.carleton.ca |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
>Ha ha... all you who doubted shall burn in the eternal depthes of
>hell! The Hot Poker at SummerSlam, you said? FOOLS!
One of the joys of being the #2 WWF fan is that the #1 WWF fan does all the
work, and you only have to write a cheap followup.
>I'm not sure where to place this PPV among the "greatest of all
>time." I really liked it a lot. I had more fun watching it
>than I did WM10. More fun watching than I did Rumble '92.
>And maybe just about as much fun as Rumble '95. The only thing
>this show had against it, in comparison to the great Rumble PPV
>this year is that the show peaked about 20 minutes before
>the main event finished. RUmble was perfectly paced, with
>Shawn's Rumble win the deserving highlight at the end, but
>with other great stuff (like the LT angle) interspersed.
Well, I don't know about the greatest of all time bit. I don't think anything
can top Rumble '95 or WMX...yet. This was a damn good show, but after it
was over I wasn't thinking where it belonged in the Greatest of All Time
category. Maybe I'm just getting older?
>** ****3/4 **1/2 ***1/2 **1/2 *** ***3/4 **3/4 **1/2
Geez, all those **1/2 matches and you liked the show? What's WRONG with you?
>And for the record, no, nobody got all the ratings right for the last In
>Your House PPV, where I did this very same gimmick.
That's 'cause I didn't bother to respond. ;-)
>SummerSlam 1995
>===============
>
>From the start, meaning the kick-off off the preview show (aka "Sunday
>Night Slam"), this PPV had a great feel.
At least with them bandying about Luger's name, I felt like he wasn't toast
just yet.
>1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi
>---------------------
I thought they'd let the Kid win (payback for jobbing to the Roadie) and I
was pleasantly surprised with the great ending of this match.
>Bob Holly vs. Hunter Hurst Helmsley
>------------------------------------
Didn't care, but it WAS a fairly decent match.
>Smoking Gunns vs. Blu Twins
>---------------------------
'bout the same. The Gunns winning was a surprise to me.
>Barry Horowitz vs. Skip Candido
>-------------------------------
>I love this stuff.
Me too. I never thought I could get into Horowitz as a face, but I guess it's
working. I'm THIS close to buying his shirt. I guess the only funny quote I
can put in here is (ready your .sig!)
Well, it took Moses 40 years, so I guess Horowitz should be happy it only
took him 10.
>Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye Women's Title Match
>------------------------------
My crew was actually IMPRESSED that Blayze could run full speed at Faye and
Faye wouldn't move. I guess it takes all kinds. I guess the only way I
can say it is: Bertha ain't Bull.
>Undertaker vs. Kama Casket Match
>-------------------
>This was no wrestling masterpiece, but I was quite happy to see that
>it DID NOT SUCK.
Herb will tear you to shreds for this, but I quite agree. This match and the
Yokozuna title match are the only two face UT matches that I've liked.
>Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem
>==========================
Running bulldog, side Russian leg sweep, elbow off the second rope,
Sharpshooter, Lawler interferes. BRET HART IS DOGGING IT.
>Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon InterContinental Title Ladder Match
>------------------------------
This one was even better than the Hart/Michaels ladder match. Nuff said.
>Diesel vs. King Mabel WWF Title Match
>--------------------
Well, I KNEW Diesel was gonna win. But again, Rick's said it best: this
sets up all sorts of good stuff. And the match Did Not Suck.
Here's my homage to Rick, and Herb. These are my HPUA ratings for SummerSlam,
randomly arranged. You have to guess what goes where:
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
--
Christopher Robin Zimmerman / kz...@aimnet.com / KZiM Archives : 1670 items
Technical support engineer, AIMnet Corporation / Paid to be on the Internet
"If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em." - Harry S Truman (past president)
"The computer society is a defunct society!" - Bob Backlund (future president)