Frequently Unasked Questions about UNLINK
Lirpa Sloof
Archive-name: unlink(faq);
$Header: /unsupported/answers/unlink_questions,v 4.1 1995/04/01 00:01:02 lirpa1 $
ANSWERS TO FREQUENTLY UNASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT UNLINK
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Q) What is UNLINK?
A) UNLINK - the University's Network 'Lectronic Information service and
"Neat Komputer" - is a set of computer systems dedicated to providing
electronic communications and information retrieval resources to the
campus community. It is provided by the Office of Disinformation
Resources and Antiquated Technology (O-DRAT!).
Q) What is UNLINK not?
A) UNLINK is not a general purpose computer account, word processing lab,
programming environment, place to learn anything about computers, or
a generally useful service not duplicating existing resources.
Q) Why doesn't UNLINK support:
- irc ?
The Internet Relay Chat system is electronic socialization, not
electronic communication, so is not a supported service. (Of
course, root needs to unwind from time to time which is why
/products/ccs/stf/irc is root-executable.)
- ytalk ?
Allowing users to communicate electronically does not necessarily
include the ability to talk to multiple people at once, or with
people on computers with incompatible talk programs.
- lynx ?
There is absolutely positively no useful textual information to be
found on the World Wide Web, so lynx cannot be classified as an
information retrieval program. Mosaic software is provided to
retrieve graphical information on the WWW, although we have not yet
figured out where you can run this program without having an account
on a machine that probably already has mosaic or netscape installed.
(We could let you use the copy of lynx in /products/jerry/bin, but
what's the point of that?)
- gzip ?
The GNU Zip utilities are not used for information retrieval or
communications. They are only useful for information hoarding or
unpacking gzip'ed files a user retrieves or receives - but using
and storing information is not supported on UNLINK, only
retrieving or communicating it. (Besides, with our genourous
500 k disk quotas who needs to compress anything anyway?)
- WWW home pages ?
Information providing is not a form of electronic communication
or information retrieval. (Besides - who on UNLINK could access
them without lynx for text terminals or graphics terminals for
Mosaic?)
- ncftp ?
Just because we support information retrieval doesn't mean we have
to make it easy to use.
Q) What is "UNLINK: The Next Generation"?
A) It's our incredibly cool, very expensive new computer with gobs of RAM
and disk space. Unfortunately we spent so much money on it we had to
cut back on staff and now there's no one to run it. (Besides, it
blows the circuit breakers for Evans Hall everytime we plug it in.)
Q) Why is there no UNLINK news group?
A) Distributing information about UNLINK is not a form of electronic
communication or information retrieval, so is not supported.
Q) What is the difference between UNLINK and the OCF?
A) The OCF allows students to do almost anything on their computers.
Our experts assure us that by not providing a small set list of
users can do, they cause users to do unnecessary thinking and
allow actual learning, experiences which have proven fatal for
college students before. Of course, since UNLINK is staffed by
paid trained professionals instead of random students, we have
designed and provided a system free of these risky choices.
The piddling detail that they still accept new users while we
have not for 4 months now is irrelevant since anyone who did
not get an account before we closed our doors obviously didn't
need one.
Q) What is the difference between UNLINK and the XCF?
A) We service approximately 5,000 times as many students as the XCF does,
but we don't let them play Xtrek 24 hours a day like they do. We also
finish our programming projects, such as our wonderfully innovative
"menu" system.
Q) Who wrote this document?
A) This document is entirely the work of Lirpa Sloof. Rob "Danger Will"
Robertson, Cliff "Why do they keep using my American Express card
in all their ads?" Frost, and Philip "Edward" Nunez know absolutely
nothing about the creation of this work, and are probably wondering
why their names are even mentioned here.
Q) Where do I send my questions/suggestions?
A) /dev/nu...@UNLINK5.Berzerkeley.EDU
Q) How often is this document posted?
A) Annually, on April 1 (the beginning of the UNLINK fiscal year, when we
need to justify our consulting staff budget, since they don't do
anything else useful the rest of the year).
Q) Any legalese you'ld like to mention?
A) Any resemblence to any person, group, or system, whether living, dead,
or stuck in eternal purgatory in line in Sproul Hall, is purely
coincidental as this document describes a purely fictional computer
system (pretty wild stuff, huh? who would ever waste money setting
up such a system - totally unbelievable, huh?)