Alt.Devilbunnies Frequently Asked Questions *** part 2/4
Bill Keyes
Posting-Frequency: Approximately twice a month
Last-modified: 2000/08/14
***** ALT.DEVILBUNNIES FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS *****
The DevilBunnies' FAQ
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written on Nov 11 1993. Updated 14May1993, 1Oct1994, 9Nov1994, 10Dec1994,
22Jul1997, 18Nov1999, 14Aug2000.
Compiled and edited by Bill Keyes (bke...@lamar.colostate.edu), with help
from Jinx and Strawberry. The majority written by Shadow Child, the DB
of the East, and others too numerous to list. Thanks all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
***** THE DEVILBUNNIES' FAQ *****
Q. What is this group all about?
A. The battle between the Fudds (humans who are aware of DBs and seek
to maintain their dominance and destruction of the Earth and other
species) and the Devilbunnies.
Q. You've got to be kidding.
A. Uh-huh. Mankind is busy raping and plundering the Earth while the
Devilbunnies fight a desperate battle to save our planet from their
wasteful ways.=A0 Are you just going to sit back and watch?
Q. What are Devilbunnies?
A. The Bunnies are a species dedicated to the reclamation of the earth
for the innocent creatures that live therein. We Devilbunnies seek to
repair the damage humans do, and to protect mother Earth. We will succeed
because we are smarter, quicker, more innovative, and right. We shall
overcome!
Q. How did the Devilbunnies come about?
A. How Devilbunnies acquired their remarkable intelligence and abilities is
best left unsaid. Devilbunnies are nearly indistinguishable from our
"normal" lapine cousins, so trying to separate the two is next to
worthless.
Q. Why so bent on erasing humanity?
A. The Devilbunnies are well aware that humanity's trend is to end in
the complete destruction of nature and all non-human species, and possibly
the human species as well. Various animal diplomats have tried to reason
with the humans (Flipper, Smokey the Bear, Hound McGruff, etc.) but to no
avail. The only solution, unfortunately, is a complete takeover.
Q. What's with all the human-flesh-eating?
A. Well, we do have vorpal incisors, razor-sharp claws, and powerful
bounding feet [stomp!]. Although such viciousness might be otherwise
unwelcome, is does prove quite handy against those tricky Fudds.
Q. What is the tastiest part of a Fudd?
A. Their toes. They make great stews, ice cream, pies, casseroles, almost
any main dish, appetizers, side dish, dessert, and so on! They're also
handy for making keychains, paperweights, and many more useful products.
Q. But if Devilbunnies have taken up the human traits of intelligence and
flesh-eating, what's preventing them from becoming the next evil
species?
A. Lawyers, auditors, Encyclopedia Brittanica ads, lack of cute fur -- all
these absolute necessities for pure evil to flourish simply are not a
part of the lapine way.
Q. Where can I learn more about the Devilbunny cause?
A. Not many human texts are available; those there are barely cover the
topic adequately. Nonetheless, good places to start are the Peter Rabbit
stories, Bugs Bunny cartoon scripts, and, of course, Watership Down (in
both book and film format).
Q. What is a Fudd and how do I recognize them?
A. Fudds are the humans walking around carrying fireaxes, smelling faintly
of stale urine and muttering to themselves about bunnies. They are normally
found on college campuses and like to do lots of training and spending time
collecting various "samples". They are dedicated to thwarting the cause of
the righteous devilbunnies and are intent on keeping their (supposed)
control over the Earth so they can have wars whenever they want and
wantonly destroy the planet [rufflestomp].=20
Q. How can you tell when a person is a Fudd or normal?
A. Normal people do not spend their time hunting down cute, harmless,
furry, adorable little creatures like bunnies [wigglefluff].
Q. Do all Devilbunnies kill?
A. Not hardly! Some are dedicated to peace and seek friendlier relations
with other races. These are cute buns who devote themselves to learning
how to heal, spread cuteness and generally be just adorable [honest! fluff]
Q. Can I be cute?
A. Most definitely. Just try hopping, or bouncing or wiggling or giggling or
twitching or hugging or any number of things. Its really not that hard.
If you want lessons, almost any doe would be willing to teach you, or just
watch kits - they're naturals.
Q. Do all Devilbunnies make sense?
A. Not always, but the temporary fooleries committed by such bunnies is
a good price to pay when considering the alternative: allowing humans to
proceed to the world's ultimate end.
Q. Where can I find out more information?
A. This is the Bunny version of the FAQ, containing most of the most basic
info you should need. There is also a Fudd version, containing their side
of the story. The Ground Rules are intended for those who want to post on
the newsgroup. There are also several Supplements to the FAQ, containing a
Who's Who, a discussion of technology, a history of the DBs, and several
other interesting and informative things. There is an Index which indicates
where to find the information contained in the FAQs and Supplements. Please
note that this FAQ contains all of the information that you are likely to
need in perusing the group. The Supplements (all 18 of them!) contain more
detailed information that you might need, or just feel curious about. It's
a lot of reading, but I've tried to cut it down into bite-sized chunks for
you! The basic rule of thumb is:
Read this FAQ. Learn it, know it, live it, love it, send its creator
lots of money.
Read the Fudd FAQ. Learn it, know it, live it, love it, send its
creator even more money.
Read the Ground Rules only if you plan to post.
Read the Supplements if you need more information!
Q. Is this information available in any other format?
A. Yes, we also have the official alt.dbs WWW site, maintained by Snowhare.
You can access the appendices, the archives, and lots of other stuff
from there! The address is: http://www.devilbunnies.org
-------------------------------------------------------
This is the end of The DevilBunnies' side of the story. Any questions,
comments, clarifications, flames, etc., should be sent to Bill Keyes
(bke...@lamar.colostate.edu).
This document and all information contained within is copyright (c) 1994 by
Bill Keyes. All rights reserved. It may not be reproduced or reposted by any
means, electronic or otherwise, in part or in whole, without prior
permission from the author.
* Bill Keyes /\ * bke...@lamar.colostate.edu *
* c////////=================|__|=> * Sic semper cuniculis daemoniacis! *
* Bunny hunter Extreme & / \ * alt.devilbunnies FAQ Keeper *
* Independent Fudd <______> * http://www.devilbunnies.org *