Alt.Devilbunnies Frequently Asked Questions *** part 1/4
Bill Keyes
Posting-Frequency: Approximately twice per month
Last-modified: 2000/08/14
***** ALT.DEVILBUNNIES FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS *****
The Fudds' FAQ
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Written on 15Oct1993. Updated on 25Oct1993, 11Nov1993, 3Jan1994, 5Mar1994,
27Jun1994, 11Sep1994, 10Dec1994, 6Jan1995, 27Mar1995, 9June1995, 6July1995,
22July1995, 7Sep1995, 12Sep1995, 10Oct1995, 17Oct1995, 9Nov1995, 27Jan1996,
12Mar1996, 15Sep1996, 25Sep1996, 19Jan1997, 23Mar1997, 22Jul1997, 18Nov1999,
16Dec1999, 14Aug2000.
Compiled, written, and edited by Bill Keyes (bke...@lamar.colostate.edu),
with help from John Chaffey, Reijer Grimbergen, Sharree Thompson, and
others too numerous to list. Thanks all.
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THE FUDDS' FAQ
Q. What's this group all about, anyway?
A. We are a newsgroup dedicated to stopping a quiet and hostile takeover of
the Earth by the incredibly powerful, unimaginably evil, disgustingly cute
Devilbunnies. As Fudds, we are the only thing that stands between a
disbelieving human race and horrible, inescapable fluffy doom.
Q. You've got to be kidding.
A. Yeah, I am. Sure. Just wait until that cute gray bunny that lives under
the pine tree in your backyard carries off your grandmother for some unholy
feast. Then you'll say to yourself, "Oh, I should have listened," but it'll
be too late. We warned you.
Q. OK, I'm convinced. How do I get involved in this war?
A. It's customary to post an introductory message to the group. If you
really want to get involved, start watching your neighborhood for signs
of Bunny incursion (nibbled lettuce in your garden, little bunny pellets
outside your windows, etc.) Report any suspicious activity to the nearest
Army of Fudd (AoF) outpost. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to confront
Devilbunnies by yourself. Your local AoF provides weaponry, training, and
professional help.
Q. What is a Fudd?
A. A human who knows the Truth About Bunnies (tm), and is willing to lay
down his or her life in order to defend humanity from their fuzzy evil. The
Fudds are a loosely-knit organization of individuals, and while they often
have differences in their approach to the Evil that Fluffs (tm) they are
united by one common bond: "Kill da wabbit."
Q. How do I find this group?
A. Chances are, you already have. But you might be reading a copy of this
FAQ on some other forum. If so, look for us among the Usenet Newsgroups,
we're called simply alt.devilbunnies.
Q. What is a Devilbunny?
A. "Think of the most powerful thing you can (I mean like a black hole or a
supernova, not a Chevy). Double it. Add sharp things. Remove all goodness.
Wrap it in a cute, cuddly bunny costume." -- John Chaffey.
Q. What do they look like?
A. Devilbunnies look exactly like regular bunny rabbits.
Q. How can you tell if it's a Devilbunny and not a regular bunny?
A. You can't, at least not without years of highly specialized training. To
be on the safe side, all bunnies are considered suspect, and should be
terminated with extreme prejudice.
Q. What makes Devilbunnies so dangerous?
A. Well, apart from the fact that they are cruel and deadly creatures, they
are incredibly cute. Just think of how insidious this war is. The DBs can
move around the countryside with relative impunity. They are mistaken for
harmless and sweet animals. Using their cuteness as cover, they can
infiltrate our communities, seduce our loved ones, and take over the world.
Q. Where do Devilbunnies come from?
A. This is unknown right now. Current research indicates that they may be
from another planet, or possibly another dimension. There are other
theories, but keep in mind that the DBs are, for the most part, an unknown
quality.
Q. What is the scientific designation for Devilbunnies?
A. Lagomorph Demonicus.
Q. What is the Army of Fudd's motto?
A. "Sic semper tyrannis et culiculis daemoniacis!" (Thus ever to tyrants and
Devilbunnies!)
Q. What do Devilbunnies eat?
A. Oh, the usual. Carrots, lettuce, grass. They seem to be fond of parsley
and spinach as well. Oh yeah, and they love human toes...
Q. How long do Devilbunnies live?
A. Hopefully as short as possible. But if you are talking about natural
lifespans, they normally live about 30-35 years.
Q. Why do they write things like "[fluffwiggle]" in their posts?
A. Bunnies, in their natural state, communicate with a complex series of
non-verbal signs. Since they lack visual cues while typing on the computer,
they are forced to type them. Plus, it makes them seem cuter.
Q. Are Devilbunnies good to eat?
A. No. In fact, DBs are rancid, gamy, tough, and stringy. Although they
evidence a strong fondness for human flesh, we Fudds pride ourselves on
not stooping to their barbaric level. At least until they start breeding
a better tasting bunny...
Q. What's the best way to cook a Devilbunny?
A. If you are, for some reason, forced to partake of DB flesh, follow these
simple recipes:
Build a large bonfire. Make it as hot as you can.
Toss the bunny into the heart of the flame.
Now wait until the fire dies down.
Remove the DB's ashes and sprinkle on toast.
Build a small cookfire.
Prepare the DB to taste with your favorite seasonings.
Nail the DB to a 2x4 board.
Cook until golden brown.
Now discard the Bunny and eat the board.
Q. Who are the Wanderers?
A. The Wanderers are an irresponsibly inclined lunatic fringe of the Fudds
with slightly more Fuddamentalist leanings than the AoF proper. They have a
small air force, and will travel for tequila. These are some of the most
unstable Fudds alive, and will occasionally field-test Fourier (q.v.)
equipment. If you'd like to join the Wanderers, contact Jazz Masterson,
Amber, or Terrence "Deuce" O'Connor, the existing Wanderer characters. You
can find their current addresses in Appendix 1 of the FAQ.
Q. Who are the Four?
A. "The Four" are a radical organization composed chiefly of "wyrmbunnies"
(q.v.) but also including some squirrels and humans. Their leaders (also
collectively known as "the Four") believe themselves to be incarnations of
the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - War, Death, Famine and Pestilence. The
Four respect the Fudds, but this feeling is not mutual and the two groups
are not allied.
Q. Cool! How do I join?
A. These two "splinter" groups are tightly-knit and not as welcoming to new
members as the AoF. If you want to join one of these groups, you must check
with their current group members first. Also keep in mind that these are
tiny groups - the Fudds and Bunnies are by far the most important
protagonists (or antagonists) in the War.
Q. Where can I find out more information?
A. This is the Fudd version of the FAQ, containing most of the most basic
info you should need. There is also a Bunny version, containing their side
of the story. The Ground Rules are intended for those who want to post on
the newsgroup. There are also several appendices to the FAQ, containing a
Who's Who, a discussion of technology, a history of the DBs, and several
other interesting and informative things. There is an Index which indicates
where and how to find all the other FAQs and Supplements. Please note, that
this FAQ contains all of the information that you are likely to need in
perusing the group. The Supplements (all 18 of them!) contain more detailed
information that you might need, or just feel curious about. It's a lot of
reading, but I've tried to cut it down into bite-sized chunks for you! The
basic rule of thumb is:
Read this FAQ. Learn it, know it, live it, love it, send its creator
lots of money.
Read the Bunny FAQ. Learn it, know it, live it, love it, send its
creator even more money.
Read the Ground Rules only if you plan to post.
Read the Supplements if you need more information!
Q. Is this information available in any other format?
A. Yes, we also have an official alt.dbs WWW site, maintained by Snowhare.
You can access the Supplements, the archives, and lots of other stuff from
there! The address is: http://www.devilbunnies.org
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This is the end of The Devilbunny FAQ (the Fudds' Version). Any questions,
comments, clarifications, flames, etc., should be sent to Bill Keyes
(bke...@lamar.colostate.edu).
This document and all information contained within is copyright (c) 1994 by
Bill Keyes. All rights reserved. It may not be reproduced or reposted by any
means, electronic or otherwise, in part or in whole, without prior
permission from the author.
* Bill Keyes /\ * bke...@lamar.colostate.edu *
* c////////=================|__|=> * Sic semper cuniculis daemoniacis! *
* Bunny hunter Extreme & / \ * alt.devilbunnies FAQ Keeper *
* Independent Fudd <______> * http://www.devilbunnies.org *