The placing of dead, dry brush near overloaded electrical circuits.
The ceremonial nailing of Uncle Louie's wrists to the big oak tree
out back.
Filling the children's stockings with head cheese and Krazy Glue(TM).
Leaving a plate of raw chicken breasts and a cold glass of rubbing
alcohol by the fireplace for Santa.
XOXO
Bobby
(God bless us, every one.)