If you be my bodyguard
Shiro Akaishi
>How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
>really was singing Call Me Al?
>
>Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
>
>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
The skinny:
McFarlane toys' "Kaneda"
Serial Experiments Lain lunchbox
CD Spinner CD rack
Logitech optical mouse (yaaaaay!)
Electric shaver (neat features)
A "kinetic statue" (minus a necessary 9-volt battery. d'oh!)
3 varieties of peanuts
A cup of "straight up" latte coffee (instant. not bad but I prefer mocha)
Dr. Deento 30'th anniversary collection "Dementia 2000" (2 CD's)
A big box of socks (wha?)
128 MB PC100 RAM (woohoo!)
Shogo (great game)
Jane's Fleet Commander
A couple of the "Wheel of Time" books
--
//\ ICQ: 26175196
(/__\ "And I can see myself drifting off into eternity, or nothing,
/) \ or whatever it may be, with all sorts of bits of loose
/ \ string hanging out of my pocket." - Sir Alec Guinness
Nick Bensema
red <mol...@86thisearthlink.net> wrote:
>How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
>really was singing Call Me Al?
>
>Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
>
>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
I got cookware and lots of it.
And lots of cookies and brownies and stuff.
And a keychain Simon game. A loud one.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
==== ======= ==============
CREDIT 0 THY GAME IS OVER NO CARRIER
Stephenls
> How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
My first shaving razor.
A geeky-looking calculator-watch.
Merric, by Anne Rice.
Chocolates.
Money.
--
Stephenls
Geek
NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW
ELSE CAN THEY /BECOME/? -- Death, Hogfather
Xaonon
> How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
BETTER THAN YOU! HAW HAW!
Seriously, though, I got all sorts of nifty stuff, which I shall proceed to tell
you about in endless detail. First and foremost, lots of money, especially the 1
kilodollar check from my grandparents. (That's for "college", because they
aren't quite clear on the concept that *less* money in the bank is good because
then we can swindle the govnernment out of more money with the FAFSA.) I also
got two of those rubber hemisphere things you invert and put on a table and hear
them jump up about an hour later after you've forgotten about them anyway. And a
rubber ball that has a Velco leash-thing I can tie onto my arm and then hit
stuff with. (I'm easily amused.)
And best of all... I got my spiffy blue Dingo t-shirt in the mail. It looks like
this:
http://64.27.109.240/images/zbluedingo.jpg
and it totally R0><0R5. Now I *have* to get something pierced!
AND ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TRACK...
Wandering about on iam.bmezine.com, I wackyparsed something on Dingo's page as
"Krusty VS Bjork". Now I can't get this out of my brane until I play the
scenario out fully. Let's see:
------
[BLACK SCREEN. FADE IN TO:]
KITCHEN STADIUM, LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY
[On the left side stands KRUSTY THE KLOWN in floppy clown shoes. The other
position is occupied by BJÖRK, wearing lots of shiny dangly fabricky stuff and a
big hat. On the central dais stands BOB BARKER.]
BOB BARKER
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this Food Network Special Event! Where,
for the first time ever, we will see something totally unrelated to food
in any possible way!
[CANNED HALFHEARTED CLAPPING AND CHEERING]
BOB BARKER
Thank you, thank you! The angry Japanese guy has graciously allowed us use
of his stadium, from which we bring you this live televised event.
Tonight, we will finally see the long-awaited match between Krusty the
Klown, and Björk! Talk about a battle of wits, huh folks?
[SILENCE. CRICKET CHRIPING NOISE.]
BOB BARKER
Thank you! Now, some of you may ask, "Why are these two fighting?" [Waits
expectantly.]
AUDIENCE
[promptedly]
WHY ARE THESE TWO FIGHTING!
BOB BARKER
Exactly! And the answer is? [Holds microphone out.]
AUDIENCE
[enthusiastically]
WE! DON'T! KNOW!
BOB BARKER
Correct! So, let's dispense with the formalities, and get on to the main
event!
[CHEERING. BOB BARKER dramatically pulls a sheet off the TABLE in front of him.
Dry-ice smoke rolls out from inside, and a platform with a MAN standing on it
rises out from below.]
BOXING ANNOUNCER GUY
Tonight! We have! In the blue corner!
[Spotlight falls on KRUSTY]
BOXING ANNOUNCER GUY
Fresh off the set of "The Simpsons"... He may look funny, but he'll kick
your ass... KRRRRRUSTY THE KLLLLLOOOOOOWN!
[CHEERING AND CLAPPING]
KRUSTY
Hey hey hey!
BOXING ANNOUNCER GUY
And! In the! Red corner!
[Spotlight swings over to BJÖRK]
BOXING ANNOUNCER GUY
From the frozen wastes of Iceland... Listening to her sing is a lot like
getting hit with a hammer... BJÖÖÖÖÖÖÖRRRRRRK!
BJÖRK
[angrily]
Hey!
BOXING ANNOUNCER GUY
Now... LLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRREADY TO RRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!
[BOB BARKER throws a bell pepper at him, knocking him off the platform. Wild
CHEERING ensues. KRUSTY and BJÖRK approach each other, and begin circling]
KRUSTY
[in wacky clown voice]
Hey kids! Who wants to see Krusty shove his shoe right up Björk's --
BJÖRK
[singing]
I THOught I could ORganIZE FREEdom... HOOOOOW ScAnDiNaViAn of ME...
KRUSTY
[unsettled]
Huh, listen to the vocal cords on this broad!
BJÖRK
[singing even louder]
LaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAEEeeEeEEeeeeEEeEEEeEEeEeEEEE...
KRUSTY
Uh --
BJÖRK
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
[KRUSTY's head explodes]
BJÖRK
[picking bits of fluffy red hair out of her hat]
Don't fuck with music, Krusty!
[WILD APPLAUSE]
BOB BARKER
[uncertain]
Um... Oh, hell, just go to a commercial.
[Pull back, showing the crowd rushing up to pretend to like hearing Björk sing]
[Fade out]
------
I seem to be hopped up on a combination of raspberry Snapple and Claritin.
Mmm... antihistamine-y.
--
Xaonon, EAC Chief of Mad Scientists and informal BAAWA, aa #1821, Kibo #: 1
Visit The Nexus Of All Coolness (a.k.a. my site) at http://xaonon.cjb.net/
"May all our thoughts be beautiful. May all our words be beautiful. May all
our actions be beautiful." -- The Yasa of the Sani
David DeLaney
>Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
You can record -that- again. (Listening to: "Why can't a woman / be more like
a man?"...)
>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
Well, this wasn't -all- Xmas Day, but I got:
underwear
a VCR [though I still have no TV]
a box of Strange Food, which I've already described much of
a check
a box of Strange Characters, which I've already described much of (WooHoo!)
a secondhand eclipse
two books read
Frostburns (dropped by the Cow King)
to kibitz on a couple hours of spades
Dave "and now I get to share it all with you!" DeLaney
PS: "Would I run off, and never tell me where I'm going?"
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Schwa Love
BD45EE.223...@news.earthlink.net>:
>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
Some books:
Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (cuz boys suck)
The War Against Boys: how misguided feminism is harming our young men
(cuz girls suck too. Basically I got two books that are complete opposites
when it comes to gender politics because I like to see as many sides to an
issue as possible)
Nancy Cartwright's autobiography
An Underground Education
Derailing Democracy: The America the Media Don't Want You to See
Videos:
Tron
X-Men
Three pairs of jeans
Two t-shirts... my favorite one says "I have seen the future and it ain't
in this loser town"
Christmas tree ornaments:
Bubbles
Blossom
Buttercup
Opus the penguin
Scuffy the tugboat
A box of Captain Crunch because me and the captain make it happen and it
must be true because tv told me so.
A box of Goldfish crackers... the nice kind, not the EXTREME FLAVOR crap.
A plant of some sort to make my apartment pretty
A printer and a scanner
A five dollar bill
A Lego pen
Two KinderSurprise eggs smuggled across the Canadianian border.
A still as yet unfinished drawing for a coffeeshop t-shirt glaring at me
from my drawing desk.
An end to my stinky cold.
Two plus Eight is Ten.
Hello my name is Schwa!
-- Schwa ---
.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.o
Love is never having to say your safe word.
ICQ#37704091 Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA
William Clifford
>How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
>really was singing Call Me Al?
>
>
I got BLOCKS!! Wooden blocks!! Mom bought a small set for all of us
(no one in my family is younger than sixteen). I'm totally regressing.
My brother and I challenged each other to see who could build a load
bearing arch first. He won.
--
|William Clifford | If this .sig could play a Man or |
| | Astro-Man song for you at a high |
|wo...@yahoo.com | volume it would. But it can't. |
|http://wobh.home.mindspring.com | Sorry. |
Joe Manfre
>red <mol...@86thisearthlink.net> wrote in <moldau-
>BD45EE.223...@news.earthlink.net>:
>
>>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
>
>Some books:
> Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (cuz boys
> suck) The War Against Boys: how misguided feminism is harming our
> young men
>(cuz girls suck too. Basically I got two books that are complete
>opposites when it comes to gender politics because I like to see as many
>sides to an issue as possible)
Hey Schwa. You sound like someone I could get along with. Let me
know what you think of those books. I think it would be nice to
have at least *one* person on all of Usenet who can understand why
I get so upset and incoherent when people continually unfurl their
favorite gender stereotypes etc. (which has had the side effect of
Darla deciding to hate me forever).
JM
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland. http://www.manfre-land.com
``A gas cant go faster than sound. But steel can. Steel can exsead
the speed of sound in steel. Clear steel is mush diferant to steel.''
-- Wild-E-CyotePHD, May 2000
The Great Requiem
wrote:
>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
$25 cash
$20 Conoco cash card
Collector's booklet with all 10 of the currently released 50-state
quarters
A big ol' stack of Megumi Hayashibara CD's
IT WAS THE BESTEST EKSMAS EVER!!!11
--Kenton "I have sherbet!" Cernea
Otto Bahn
>
> In article <moldau-BD45EE....@news.earthlink.net>, red
> <mol...@86thisearthlink.net> wrote:
>
> > How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
>
> BETTER THAN YOU! HAW HAW!
I got an elf.
--oTTo--
Twice!
Chris McGonnell
> How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
> really was singing Call Me Al?
>
> Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
>
Well:
1 bottle Glenfiddich (12-years old)
! #2 Yankees jersey that has "Jeter" printed on the back
A cedar bird feeder w/ bag of seed
Desmond Seward's "Monks of War"
1 bottle Calvados V.S.O.P
VHS movie -- "Schindler's List"
A 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle (I don't know why)
Two pounds of baklava
2 Hickory Farms Gift Set (identical)
$20 Wal-Mart gift certificate
1 box of pfeffernusse cookies
1 fifth of Jack Daniels
Ken Follett's "Code to Zero"
$50 cash!! (And they say I'm hard to shop for!)
--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951
"This post has a child-proof cap" -- David Pacheco
Peter Seebach
Joe Manfre <man...@flash.net> wrote:
>I think it would be nice to
>have at least *one* person on all of Usenet who can understand why
>I get so upset and incoherent when people continually unfurl their
>favorite gender stereotypes etc.
Isn't that just like a man!
-s
--
Copyright 2000, All rights reserved. Peter Seebach / se...@plethora.net
C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter. Boycott Spamazon!
Consulting & Computers: http://www.plethora.net/
Dag Agren
mol...@86thisearthlink.net says...
> How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
Much better than YOU losers. *I* got *FONTS*.
Well, at least I got some books on typography and the like, and a CD that
had a few fonts. But I'm still claiming "Most Kibological Hmas Gift", at
least until Kibo tells us what he got.
I'm guessing 30 meter high sculpture of a bee, made of newly-fried bacon.
--
Dag Agren <> d...@c3.cx <> http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/ <> Legalize Oregano
"It's the Liberal Media who have brainwashed everyone with that
``Ellen'' show. Even Clinton got so fed up with that, he sent
her back to Cuba!" - Peter Willard
Dean Lenort
I had the original Charlie Brown Halloween^wChristmas.
I got a rock.
I reckon there was a tad too much bah humbuggery I on my part to receive
any actual gifts.
But there's always next year!
--
Dean Lenort dean....@att.net
"Here, have a lutefisk. ><>" - Lupus Yonderboy
E Teflon Piano
<se...@plethora.net> wrote:
}In article <90165E1EA...@209.30.0.14>,
}Joe Manfre <man...@flash.net> wrote:
}>I think it would be nice to
}>have at least *one* person on all of Usenet who can understand why
}>I get so upset and incoherent when people continually unfurl their
}>favorite gender stereotypes etc.
}
}Isn't that just like a man!
A sexulally confused man, at that.
--
Institute for Misapplied Psychometry fellow E Teflon Piano is founder of the
Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society. Teflon is a mark owned by duPont. E is E
poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' [dibs] for ironic hyperbole and elitist satire.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-2000
Otto Bahn
>
> In article <3a48f4b8$0$89533$3c09...@news.plethora.net>, Peter Seebach
> <se...@plethora.net> wrote:
>
> }In article <90165E1EA...@209.30.0.14>,
> }Joe Manfre <man...@flash.net> wrote:
> }>I think it would be nice to
> }>have at least *one* person on all of Usenet who can understand why
> }>I get so upset and incoherent when people continually unfurl their
> }>favorite gender stereotypes etc.
> }
> }Isn't that just like a man!
>
> A sexulally confused man, at that.
All Joe needs is a good fsck. Where's our
resident ho?
--oTTo--
Marc Etienne Lachance
> In article <moldau-BD45EE....@news.earthlink.net>,
> mol...@86thisearthlink.net says... > How did everybody else do on
> Christmas day?
>
> Much better than YOU losers. *I* got *FONTS*.
I got "Amphigorey" parts 1 and 2. Ed Gorey is genteel Kibology with a
slight seasoning of Lovecraft.
I also got "The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear" (Die 13 1/2 Leben des
Käpt'n Blaubär), a truly Kibological story unknownst outside of the
German-speaking world. Written by Walter Moers, the author of the
successful "Little Asshole" comic series. Twisted, perverted humour,
folks.
The blues harp was just metaphorical icing.
--
/\ Marc Etienne Lachance, HOKuM, LMAA
/<>\ Episkopos without a cabal,
/____\ Non-Leader of Something or Another.
Otto Bahn
> I got a rock.
Did you smoke it?
> I reckon there was a tad too much bah humbuggery I on my part to receive
> any actual gifts.
Aye, matey! A toast to the lads asea in the
British Navy.
> But there's always next year!
Always, but some of us may be dead. This was
more of a problem in the olden days, but it
still rears its ugly head from time to time.
--oTTo--
Joe Manfre
Only after the power goes out. Just how careless do you think I *am*,
anyway?
J ``# shutdown -h now'' M
p.s. Way to demonstrate why it'll be an uphill battle. Oh, somewhere,
over the rainbow....
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland. http://www.manfre-land.com
``Yellow is a hard color, okay? You can do it too light and it just
looks pee-colored. Or you can do it too dark and it becomes too
orange, so you have to be careful--blue is safer.'' - Linus Torvalds
Poot Rootbeer
>McFarlane toys' "Kaneda"
Does it look anything like our 34th president, John F. Kaneda? I heard
those McPartland actions figures are ultra-realistic.
>Serial Experiments Lain lunchbox
You mean "Chasey Lain inflatable lunchbox".
>Logitech optical mouse (yaaaaay!)
>Electric shaver (neat features)
You mean "Logitech optical shaver".
What I got:
Candy (Jelly Belly)
Clothing I can wear to work (so I don't have to go shopping, yay!)
Three calendars
Peace on earth
2 kinds of vodka
Some other stuff.
-Poot
Nick Bensema
Poot Rootbeer <po...@dork.com> wrote:
>I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
>Actually, I usually just don't bother to shave.
My electric razor insists that I use it for three weeks straight, and
that my face might get irritated but I should stick with it and don't
shave with anything else or I won't adapt!
Which is fine because so far it's better than what real razors seem to do
to me, especially around that one mole that I always cut at least once
a month.
Schwa Love
>schw...@qwest.net (Schwa Love) wrote:
>
>>red <mol...@86thisearthlink.net> wrote in <moldau-
>>BD45EE.223...@news.earthlink.net>:
>>
>>>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
>>
>>Some books:
>> Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (cuz boys
>> suck) The War Against Boys: how misguided feminism is harming our
>> young men
>>(cuz girls suck too. Basically I got two books that are complete
>>opposites when it comes to gender politics because I like to see as many
>>sides to an issue as possible)
>
>
>Hey Schwa. You sound like someone I could get along with. Let me
>know what you think of those books.
They have neat little blurbs on their respective covers.
Will send more information as soon as I read them.
>I think it would be nice to
>have at least *one* person on all of Usenet who can understand why
>I get so upset and incoherent when people continually unfurl their
>favorite gender stereotypes etc. (which has had the side effect of
>Darla deciding to hate me forever).
But... but gender stereotyping is so much fun! If you disagree with me,
then I'll just let you go back to your messy apartment so you can scratch
yourself while watching football and oh by the way your toilet seat lid is
up.
I didn't know Darla hating you forever was a gender stereotype. I've only
read the first twelve chapters of THE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO GENDER STEREOTYPING
FOR DUMMIES (I'm on "Why His Fingernails Are Always Dirty and Why She Keeps
Chipping Hers") and haven't seen any mention of this one yet.
-- Schwa ---
<antiKONTEXTAWAY> oh no I forgot my winky </antiKONTEXTAWAY> smileyfaces
and now no-one can tell where I'm being whimsical and lightheartedly
sarcastic. Sarcasm was ruined forever!
(BTW - is it me or is the ;) emoticon the equivalent of yelling "NOT!" at
the end of your sentences a la Wayne's World? I had a love/hate
relationship with the promulence of "NOT!" back in high school, because
whenever I said something that was obviously utter bullcrap in the right
deadpan voice, people took my word for it as I didn't yell "NOT!" at the
end like everyone else. This was good when trying to make my tormentors
look dumb, but bad when trying to make jokes to friends. To this day,
there are still several people I know IRL who I consider "sarcastically
impaired" because of the damage done by Mike Myers. I think I better end
this tangent, as this thread was originally about Christmas candy or Paul
Simon or something... I forget now... NOT!)
Schwa Love
<Xns90166D64F...@127.0.0.1>:
>Stephenls <step...@dccnet.com> wrote:
>>> How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
>>
>>My first shaving razor.
>
>The Gilette company sent me one of their fancy cartridge razors for my
>17th birthday. Did anyone else get a similar gift, or know someone who
>did?
I got mine sent to me around the time I graduated high school, along with
the usual "Join the Navy/Army/Amway" fliers that still clutter up my folks'
mailbox.
They really need to bring the mail in more often.
-- Schwa ---
.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.oO SCHWA Oo.o
"I had a bad day. I had to subvert my principles and kow-tow to an idiot.
Television makes these daily sacrifices possible. Deadens the inner core
of my being." - Matthew Slaughter in "Trust"
Xaonon
wrote:
> The Gilette company sent me one of their fancy cartridge razors for my
> 17th birthday. Did anyone else get a similar gift, or know someone who
> did?
My friend got some on his 18th birthday. I laughed at him because that menat
people were sending him sharp metal objects. IN THE MAIL!
Bill Marcum
>Stephenls <step...@dccnet.com> wrote:
>>> How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
>>
>>My first shaving razor.
>
>The Gilette company sent me one of their fancy cartridge razors for my
>17th birthday. Did anyone else get a similar gift, or know someone who
>did?
>
>-Poot
>I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
>Actually, I usually just don't bother to shave.
My shaving razor's cold and it stings (well, the subject of the thread
is from a song...)
Cheer up sleepy Jean!
PS: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
Chrid
wrote:
>How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
>really was singing Call Me Al?
>
>Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
>
>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
>
>red
I was utterly overjoyed to receive Lego Mindstorms Vision Command -
and combined with my Lego Mindstorms Robotic Invention Kit I can now
make Lego robots that see. So far I've made a powered camera mount so
that the camera follows any motion it sees. It usually starts off
watching my head, but then tracks down to my crotch. My excuse is,
that it notices my hands typing away at the keyboard, and they kind of
line up with my nether regions.
Chrid
Otto Bahn
> Which is fine because so far it's better than what real razors seem to do
> to me, especially around that one mole that I always cut at least once
> a month.
You should have that thing removed (don't
mess with moles). Just be thankful it is
not on your peanus.
--oTTo--
satchi
Dean Lenort wrote:
>
> I had the original Charlie Brown Halloween^wChristmas.
>
> I got a rock.
>
> I reckon there was a tad too much bah humbuggery I on my part to receive
> any actual gifts.
>
> But there's always next year!
and then you get "THE ROLL"
satchi
til then you gotta keep your rhythm in your pants
http://www.bombhumor.com
satchi
Joe Manfre wrote:
>
> Otto Bahn <JGA...@tkennedy.mc.duke.edu> wrote:
> > E Teflon Piano wrote:
> >>
> >> In article <3a48f4b8$0$89533$3c09...@news.plethora.net>, Peter Seebach
> >> <se...@plethora.net> wrote:
> >>
> >> }In article <90165E1EA...@209.30.0.14>,
> >> }Joe Manfre <man...@flash.net> wrote:
> >> }>I think it would be nice to
> >> }>have at least *one* person on all of Usenet who can understand why
> >> }>I get so upset and incoherent when people continually unfurl their
> >> }>favorite gender stereotypes etc.
> >> }
> >> }Isn't that just like a man!
> >>
> >> A sexulally confused man, at that.
>
> > All Joe needs is a good fsck.
>
> Only after the power goes out. Just how careless do you think I *am*,
> anyway?
>
> J ``# shutdown -h now'' M
>
> p.s. Way to demonstrate why it'll be an uphill battle. Oh, somewhere,
> over the rainbow....
Oh, them ruby slippers, oh them ruby slippers
Satchi
http://www.bombhumor.com
alistair gale
wrote:
>My electric razor insists that I use it for three weeks straight, and
>that my face might get irritated but I should stick with it and don't
>shave with anything else or I won't adapt!
>
>Which is fine because so far it's better than what real razors seem to do
>to me, especially around that one mole that I always cut at least once
^^^^
>a month.
HAH! Nick *does* have pigment!
satchi
moley cock
satchi
Mark Hill
> In article <Xns90166D64F...@127.0.0.1>,
> Poot Rootbeer <po...@dork.com> wrote:
> >I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
> >Actually, I usually just don't bother to shave.
>
> My electric razor insists that I use it for three weeks straight, and
> that my face might get irritated but I should stick with it and don't
> shave with anything else or I won't adapt!
>
> Which is fine because so far it's better than what real razors seem to do
> to me, especially around that one mole that I always cut at least once
> a month.
I started doing the same thing. I have this mole that it was annoying to
shave around. The electric razor was a huge quality of life improvement.
Then I decided to just grow a beard and not worry about it anymore. An
even huger quality of life improvement.
I fear what the next step is, though.
Joe Manfre
>ni...@fnord.io.com (Nick Bensema) writes:
>> Which is fine because so far it's better than what real razors seem to
>> do to me, especially around that one mole that I always cut at least
>> once a month.
>
>I started doing the same thing. I have this mole that it was annoying to
>shave around. The electric razor was a huge quality of life improvement.
If you ask Nick nicely, he'll write a Visual Basic script that makes
the mole run away from your razor every time it approaches.
>I fear what the next step is, though.
>
You don't know already? Here's a clue:
********* HAPPYNET 3: THERE WILL BE A PICTURE OF A BUNNY *********
JM
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland. http://www.manfre-land.com
Otto Bahn
> Then I decided to just grow a beard and not worry about it anymore. An
> even huger quality of life improvement.
>
> I fear what the next step is, though.
"Is that nose hair or a moustache?"
And if you live long enough, you nose will
take over your entire face.
--oTTo--
Theresa Willis
wrote:
>How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
>really was singing Call Me Al?
>
>Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
>
>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
>
My brother gave me pink flamingo wallpaper for when I buy a house.
I have not yet thought of a suitable punishment.
--Terri
--
We'll know that we are truly equal when we
can order bulletproof vests by cup size :-)
--Lynn Kosmakos 6/4/00
Nick Bensema
Bill Marcum <bma...@iglou.com> wrote:
>po...@dork.com (Poot Rootbeer) wrote:
>>I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
>>Actually, I usually just don't bother to shave.
>
>My shaving razor's cold and it stings (well, the subject of the thread
>is from a song...)
I think of that damn song EVERY TIME I shave. And I wonder "does this
mean the razor is supposed to be cold, or that it hurts if it's too cold?"
Also, ever since I moved from my parents' house, I've had to shave a
LOT more.
Teg Pipes
> In article <3a49ada9...@news.iglou.com>,
> Bill Marcum <bma...@iglou.com> wrote:
> >po...@dork.com (Poot Rootbeer) wrote:
> >>I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
> >>Actually, I usually just don't bother to shave.
> >
> >My shaving razor's cold and it stings (well, the subject of the thread
> >is from a song...)
>
> I think of that damn song EVERY TIME I shave. And I wonder "does this
> mean the razor is supposed to be cold, or that it hurts if it's too cold?"
>
> Also, ever since I moved from my parents' house, I've had to shave a
> LOT more.
You know, 'cos my mom isn't around anymore to put estrogen into my
cereal.
-Teg
Crgre Jvyyneq
21:45:11 GMT]
>My brother gave me pink flamingo wallpaper for when I buy a
>house.
>
>I have not yet thought of a suitable punishment.
I can't recommend highly enough an all-pink environment. All
objects and surfaces should be a matching shade of pink. I have
seen this done and it is the best possible solution. For GREAT
JUSTICE!
--
Peter Willard http://www.drizzle.com/~petew
The One Thought vanished; all my mind was torn to
rags: --- nay! nay! my head was mashed into
wood pulp, and thereon the Daily Newspaper was
printed. -- FRATER PERDURABO
Crgre Jvyyneq
GMT]
>
>You should have that thing removed (don't
>mess with moles).
1 theory about moles is that if 1 mole is removed 1 mole will
form elsewhere. Someone set up us the bomb.
satchi
Nick Bensema wrote:
>
>
> Also, ever since I moved from my parents' house, I've had to shave a
> LOT more.
What were they feeding you rogainatoni's?
Satchi
Once I left my parents house
and man did they move fast and didn't leave a forwarding address
http://www.bombhumor.com
satchi
See. This is why he's a DOCTOR and I'm only an MSW. I got the answer
Wron-gah!
rogaine GROWS hair, estrogen builds muscle tone.
Satchi
I don't have this problem
I'm a mexican hairless
http://www.bombhumor
satchi
Theresa Willis wrote:
>
> On Tue, 26 Dec 2000 05:34:33 GMT, red <mol...@86thisearthlink.net>
> wrote:
>
> >How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
> >really was singing Call Me Al?
> >
> >Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
> >
> >How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
> >
> My brother gave me pink flamingo wallpaper for when I buy a house.
>
> I have not yet thought of a suitable punishment.
>
> --Terri
When you do buy your house paper one bedroom with it and make it HIS!
Satchi
David DeLaney
>>My shaving razor's cold and it stings (well, the subject of the thread
>>is from a song...)
>
>I think of that damn song EVERY TIME I shave. And I wonder "does this
>mean the razor is supposed to be cold, or that it hurts if it's too cold?"
I shave every three or four weeks. Electrically. (The reason I -have- the
beard in the first place is that I can't be bothered to shave every day...)
>Also, ever since I moved from my parents' house, I've had to shave a
>LOT more.
That probably has to do with frequency of masturbation, or something.
Dave 'lee press-on chest hair' DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
David DeLaney
>[Theresa Willis, alt.religion.kibology, Wed, 27 Dec 2000 21:45:11 GMT]
>>My brother gave me pink flamingo wallpaper for when I buy a house.
>>
>>I have not yet thought of a suitable punishment.
>
>I can't recommend highly enough an all-pink environment. All
>objects and surfaces should be a matching shade of pink. I have
>seen this done and it is the best possible solution. For GREAT JUSTICE!
Cross-reference: this week's FoxTrot, specifically the 'pink' strip.
Dave 'and then Jason crossposted, and all was well again' DeLaney
Paradigm Fert
ni...@fnord.io.com (Nick Bensema) wrote:
>
> I think of that damn song EVERY TIME I shave. And I wonder
> "does this mean the razor is supposed to be cold, or that it
> hurts if it's too cold?"
Try shaving in the shower. Or at least straight after the shower.
The steam loosens up your skin, and makes for a much easier
stroke. And your razor is as warm as the water you use.
--
--Karl "I Heartily endorse this technique and/or water wastage"
http://members.nbci.com/ParadigmLost <--THE BEST A MAN CAN
GET
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
Louis Nick III
>Red wrote:
>>How many of you are young enough to remember thinking that Chevy Chase
>>really was singing Call Me Al?
>>
>>Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
Heh. I found that very song, recently, though I made the mistake of
including Garfunkel in the search, which gave only 1 hit, instead of the 5000
for Paul Simon - Call Me Al. I'd hypothesize that a search for "chevy chase
call me al" would get more hits than a similar search for Art Garfunkel.
Sad.
>>How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
I didn't get the straight razor I wanted, but I got something better!
>The skinny:
>
>Jane's Fleet Commander
Get the patch, d00d. I know it's huge, but the game is difficult to play
when your F-14 Tomcats are out of fuel and seem to be hovering at 10 kts
about 30 feet from the flight deck, and you're trying to refuel aircraft so
they can give India the smackdown for attempting to invade Sri Lanka because
of Arthur C. Clarke.
Also, when you have a situation where a Tomcat is flying in formation with an
E-2 Hawkeye, move the Tomcat away, because they'll collide and you'll lose
your radar when you need it most. Don't just land the Tomcat, because he'll
refuel and rejoin the Hawkeye, and they'll collide even sooner. Hmm. Don't
worry, India hasn't gotten close to my E-2s yet.
And finally, when you have an aircraft on Ready-5, that means it's on the
catapult. The game won't tell you that you can't land airplanes, or launch
others, you have to be a Pri-Fly jockey and kick those aircraft off the deck
or else you'll lose half your air wing.
And it's "Fleet Command." I wrote a post about it, once.
-LAN3
Blackshoe extraordinaire.
Louis Nick III
>
>The Gilette company sent me one of their fancy cartridge razors for my
>17th birthday. Did anyone else get a similar gift, or know someone who
>did?
I know someone who did. And Santa Claus was usually pretty good about
scoring for me the newest and latest gadgety razor, which is currently the
Gilette Mach 3, of course, with over 9000 patents-pending!
Except this year he let me down, because I gave him a whole 2-3-day notice
that I wanted a straight razor, so I can really open up my face in the
morning. w00t! But I think I have enough moulah or gift certificates to
make the New Shiny Sharp Thing come my way.
>I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
Governor Jesse Ventura: "I ain't got time to bleed."
>I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
Well, only the dull ones do. The sharp ones gently kiss your skin and
whiskers they slice cleaner than my golf swing. Your face may vary, of
course, but you gotta do it when your face can't get much wetter or softer,
such as after a shower or sex or a sex shower. Make her/him wait, okay?
>Actually, I usually just don't bother to shave.
Hmm. It's a positive feedback system.
-LAN3
Positively smooth.
Louis Nick III
>> LOT more.
>
>You know, 'cos my mom isn't around anymore to put estrogen into my
>cereal.
Mmm... Ovulicious.
Crgre Jvyyneq
06:33:18 GMT]
>Try shaving in the shower. Or at least straight after the
>shower. The steam loosens up your skin
so it peels right off -- leaving only the edible portion and the
inner flanging element that can be reused or returned to any 7-
11 for a refund on your deposit.
edna_fin...@my-deja.com
crgre+...@newsguy.com (Crgre Jvyyneq) wrote:
> I can't recommend highly enough an all-pink environment. All
> objects and surfaces should be a matching shade of pink. I have
> seen this done and it is the best possible solution. For GREAT
> JUSTICE!
>
Good lord, you've been to my mother's house! Every day I expect to hear
that dear old dad's head finally exploded...
Edna of God
Jesus, Mary, Joseph, please eat my oatmeal.
Darla VladsChyk
wrote:
>The steam loosens up your skin, and makes for a much easier
>stroke.
Fnarr?
satchi
Paradigm Fert wrote:
>
> In article <7iu26.139667$IP1.4...@news1.giganews.com>,
> ni...@fnord.io.com (Nick Bensema) wrote:
> >
> > I think of that damn song EVERY TIME I shave. And I wonder
> > "does this mean the razor is supposed to be cold, or that it
> > hurts if it's too cold?"
>
> Try shaving in the shower. Or at least straight after the shower.
> The steam loosens up your skin, and makes for a much easier
> stroke. And your razor is as warm as the water you use.
Edge?
Razor?
Edge?
Razor?
Edge?
Razor?
Satchi
smooth as a baby's behind
http://www.bombhumor.com
satchi
Louis Nick III wrote:
>
> In article <Xns90166D64F...@127.0.0.1>, Poot Rootbeer wrote:
> >Stephenls <step...@dccnet.com> wrote:
> >>> How did everybody else do on Christmas day?
> >>
> >>My first shaving razor.
> >
> >The Gilette company sent me one of their fancy cartridge razors for my
> >17th birthday. Did anyone else get a similar gift, or know someone who
> >did?
Didn't he like the product so much he bought the company?
and then bought the Patriots?
and then told insulting jokes
and then wrote that sad love song "Ruby, don't take your love to town">
Satchi
Omar Khayam
Yeah, and he made tents too
and starred on Mayberry RFD
http://www.bombhumor.com
And they say I'm dum
Glenn Knickerbocker
> I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
(image of Poot repeatedly rubbing pointed glass and amber rods with rags
and applying high voltage to his face)
You know, I hate to ask, but are "Friends" electBZZZZZZZZZZT GAAAAHHHHH
Nick Bensema wrote:
> Which is fine because so far it's better than what real razors seem to do
> to me, especially around that one mole that I always cut at least once
> a month.
Does that really improve the quality of information you get from him, or
do you just have to do that to keep up appearances so he won't be
detected?
ŹR
Otto Bahn
>
> Poot Rootbeer wrote:
> > I still use an electric because metal razors make me bleed.
>
> (image of Poot repeatedly rubbing pointed glass and amber rods with rags
> and applying high voltage to his face)
>
> You know, I hate to ask, but are "Friends" electBZZZZZZZZZZT GAAAAHHHHH
Have you found a new use for the electric
razoBZZZZZZZZZZT GAAAAHHHHH.
Whew! Nevermind, I got it.
--oTTo--
Dag Agren
crgre+...@newsguy.com says...
> [Otto Bahn, alt.religion.kibology, Wed, 27 Dec 2000 14:54:08
> GMT]
>
> >
> >You should have that thing removed (don't
> >mess with moles).
>
> 1 theory about moles is that if 1 mole is removed 1 mole will
> form elsewhere. Someone set up us the bomb.
What you say!!
--
Dag Agren <> d...@c3.cx <> http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/ <> Legalize Oregano
"It's the Liberal Media who have brainwashed everyone with that
``Ellen'' show. Even Clinton got so fed up with that, he sent
her back to Cuba!" - Peter Willard
Dag Agren
> You know, I hate to ask, but are "Friends" electBZZZZZZZZZZT GAAAAHHHHH
Somebody please explain that song to me. Then proceed to explain all
other Moloko songs.
E Teflon Piano
<schw...@qwest.net> wrote:
}there are still several people I know IRL who I consider "sarcastically
}impaired" because of the damage done by Mike Myers. I think I better end
}this tangent, as this thread was originally about Christmas candy or Paul
}Simon or something... I forget now... NOT!)
What is the Ark Deathray threshhold? Mike Myers. Say, Mike Myers, if
someone wanted to Mike Myers attract its lethal gaze Mike Myers to some
particularly noisome personality Mike Myers?
--
Institute for Misapplied Psychometry fellow E Teflon Piano is founder of the
Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society. Teflon is a mark owned by duPont. E is E
poly(TFE) Piano Enterprises' [dibs] for ironic hyperbole and elitist satire.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-2000
Joseph Michael Bay
>red <mol...@86thisearthlink.net> wrote:
>>Ah, Napster. Bringing back fond yet foolish memories.
>You can record -that- again. (Listening to: "Why can't a woman / be more like
> a man?"...)
Ere this night doth wane blah blah blah!
--
_ | |/ _ \ / _ \ | _ \ / _` | | | | http://www.stanford.edu/~jmbay
| |_| | (_) | __/ | |_) | (_| | |_| | i k n o w w h e r e y o u l i v e
\_j_/ \_o_/ \_e_| |__b_/ \_a,_|\__,y|
Bozhe moi! Eto topor v moyei golove! Cancer Biology Stanford University