Rites and Rituals of the Church of Tim Minear
Chelsea Christenson
Every morning, prostrate yourself facing Hollywood and chant:
Tim Minear. Minear, Tim.
Let us all sing praise to him,
Angel writer without peer.
Minear, Tim. Tim Minear.
Epiphany! Epiphany! Epiphany!
When watching an episode written and/or directed by The Deity, perform
the Dance of Honor during the credits and commercial breaks.
The name "Tim" is reserved for The Deity. Accordingly, you must rename
all beings using The Deity's name so as not to profane.
Every year on January 15th, purchase one goat and set it free.
End all phone conversations with "Is that it? Am I done?"
Require a group hug before entering any conference room. Tell anyone
who refuses to cooperate that they should try being a rainbow instead of
a pain-bow.
Whenever you need to prevent someone from doing something wrong, sing a
chorus of "Stop! In the Name of Love."
Only use a pre-blessed ceremonial dagger to carve the Thanksgiving
turkey.
Always leave a thank-you note when you return something you borrowed.
Purchase leather pants, just in case you need to do anything evil, in
which case you must wear them.
Christopher Rickey
"Chelsea Christenson" <Chelsea.C...@oracle.com> wrote in message
news:3B05BE39...@oracle.com...
>
> Every year on January 15th, purchase one goat and set it free.
Are you sure it's not, purchase a goat and stick it in a room with many
other goats?
(My translation of the sacred scrolls may be off...)
Wisegirl
Just in case Tim Minear wasn't getting enough ego-bloat as it is...
SWeill
>
>
>
It is right to give thanks and praise.
Regardless of the ego =]
-Steph
Tim Bruening
Chelsea Christenson wrote:
> Every morning, prostrate yourself facing Hollywood and chant:
>
> Tim Minear. Minear, Tim.
> Let us all sing praise to him,
> Angel writer without peer.
> Minear, Tim. Tim Minear.
> Epiphany! Epiphany! Epiphany!
>
> When watching an episode written and/or directed by The Deity, perform
> the Dance of Honor during the credits and commercial breaks.
>
> The name "Tim" is reserved for The Deity. Accordingly, you must rename
> all beings using The Deity's name so as not to profane.
Oh no, I'll have to change my name to Addison Shank!
Mrs. Poet
>From: Chelsea Christenson Chelsea.C...@oracle.com
>Date: 5/18/2001 5:28 PM Pacific Daylight Time
>Message-id: <3B05BE39...@oracle.com>
>
>
Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist = a person who does not believe in the divinity of
Mutant Enemy writers.
>Every morning, prostrate yourself facing Hollywood and chant:
>
> Tim Minear. Minear, Tim.
> Let us all sing praise to him,
> Angel writer without peer.
> Minear, Tim. Tim Minear.
> Epiphany! Epiphany! Epiphany!
>
Meanwhile, the Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may do some calm, deep breathing
exercises and reflect upon her life.
>When watching an episode written and/or directed by The Deity, perform
>the Dance of Honor during the credits and commercial breaks.
>
Meanwhile, the Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may get up from the sofa for a snack
or run and take a pee.
>The name "Tim" is reserved for The Deity. Accordingly, you must rename
>all beings using The Deity's name so as not to profane.
>
The Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may name all of her stuffed animals after Tim,
David G., Joss, Jane, Marti and Mere.
>Every year on January 15th, purchase one goat and set it free.
>
On January 15, the Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may spend the money she saves by
not buying goats, on a spiffy new Emporio Armani suit.
>End all phone conversations with "Is that it? Am I done?"
>
The Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may simply hang up without saying anything at
all.
>Require a group hug before entering any conference room. Tell anyone
>who refuses to cooperate that they should try being a rainbow instead of
>a pain-bow.
>
The Mutant Enemy Atheist may tell everyone to quit yakking and sit down, let's
get this dumb meeting over with so we can all go to lunch at a reasonable hour.
>Whenever you need to prevent someone from doing something wrong, sing a
>chorus of "Stop! In the Name of Love."
>
The Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may hit the wrongdoer over the head with a
rubber chicken.
>Only use a pre-blessed ceremonial dagger to carve the Thanksgiving
>turkey.
>
The Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may rip the drumsticks off the turkey with her
bare hands.
>Always leave a thank-you note when you return something you borrowed.
>
The Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may complain that the borrowed item did not
work or fit.
>Purchase leather pants, just in case you need to do anything evil, in
>which case you must wear them.
>
The Mutant Enemy Writer Atheist may wear faux leather and use the money saved
to get her teeth cleaned the better to bite her enemies.
DR