Usenet: Going To Hell In A Handbasket (A Statement of Political Dissent by Russell B)
Wavy G
"RussellB" <bigf...@subdimension.comxremovethisx> wrote in message
news:9706f4$oq4$1...@intimidator.databasix.com...
> It can't just be me.
>
> I can't be the only won (1) who is unable to read half the damned
> messages on Usenet this last week because of terrible propagation.
> Propagation, of course, is a hit-and-miss affair at the best of times,
> but this week it's really bad. And tonight has been awful.
>
> Indeed, I got home tonight after installing speakers in my automobile,
> logged on to see what I had missed, and found I could not follow a
> single thread without downloading headers from three different servers
> and piecing them all back together in my head. THREE SERVERS! THREE!
>
> It must be happening to some of you too.
>
> So, naturally, I imagine you must all be asking yourselves the same
> question right now: What is President Hole doing about the situation?
>
> Well, I'll tell you what President Hole has done for us on this day of
> crisis, and is even now doing: NOTHING.
>
> Yes, our President--ever mindful of the political value of the
> "photo-opportunity"--spent today making the rounds of laundromats,
> fast-food restaurants, discount emporia, check-cashing businesses,
> stock car races, banjo shops, and other vulgar gathering places having
> his picture taken with stevedores, truck drivers and similar trash for
> the benefit of the press while the decent and God-fearing people of
> this newsgroup huddled anxiously for hours around their computer
> terminals like sick, hungry, neglected, connectivity-deprived RATS.
>
> If ever human eyes saw the obscene spectacle of the pampered prince
> aboard his coach in the town square, amusing himself with costly
> baubles and frippery while the people about him begged for alms, they
> certainly witnessed it today. For shame.
>
> Had I any idea that President Hole's rule would be so callous, I
> should have fought with all my might and main to prevent it. I'll bet
> many of you would have done the same. Alas, it's too late now: we are
> stuck with Hole until he abdicates or is overthrown, and neither event
> seems likely.
>
> God help us all.
>
>
Hi, Russell B.
Remember that poem you asked for (You know, you asked me to write you a poem
and as a "goof" I just posted one of my silly free-forms? You remember?),
well I have decided to write you one.
I'll work on it today, so I may be posting it around Half-past Five of the
clock P.M. (Eastern Standard). So be ready!
Your friend,
E.
> --
> Russell B
DAVIDHERO
<bigf...@subdimension.comxremovethisx> (my pla) says
::
::It can't just be me.
Just wait. March 11 is right around the corner. A date that will
live in famy.
President Hole
>That piece of shit can't just be my
>stupid ass.
> I can't be the only fucking won (1)
>who is unable to read half the fucking
>damned messages on Usenet this bullshit
>last week because it is won (1)
>motherfucking shit and of terrible
>propagation. Propagation, of course, is
>a goddamn hit-and-miss affair at the
>fucking worst of times, but this bullshit
>week that piece of shit's really "f'ing
>great". Wanna burn? And in hell its been
>awful. Mind if I fry your anus?
> Indeed, I got home in hell after
>installing speakers in my fucking
>automobile, logged on to see fucking what
>I had missed, and found I could not
>follow a motherfucking single thread
>without downloading headers from three
>different servers and piecing them shits
>all back together in my fucking head.
>THREE SERVERS! THREE!
> That shit must be happening to
>fuckin' some of you and your sluts too?
>I've been known to make women puke just
>by massaging.
> So god-damn, naturally, I imagine
>you must all be asking yourselves the
>fucking same question right now: Fucking
>what is President Hole doing about the
>fucking situation? Huh? Huh?
> Well, I'll tell you and your
>hemorrhoids fucking what President Hole
>has done for us on this bullshit day of
>crisis, and is even now doing: NOTHING. I
>should wallop your ass, i should.
> Yes, our President--ever mindful of
>the fucking political value of the
>fucking "photo-opportunity"--spent today
>making the fucking rounds of laundromats,
>fast-food restaurants, discount emporia,
>check-cashing businesses, stock car
>races, banjo shops, and other vulgar
>gathering places having that bastard's
>picture taken with stevedores, truck
>drivers and similar trash for the fucking
>benefit of the fucking press while the
>fucking decent and God-fearing people of
>this bullshit newsgroup huddled anxiously
>for hours around their computer terminals
>like sick, hungry, neglected,
>connectivity-deprived RATS.
> If ever human eyes saw the fucking
>obscene spectacle of the fucking pampered
>prince aboard that bastard's coach in the
>fucking town square, amusing himself with
>costly baubles and frippery while the
>fucking people about that piece of shit
>begged for alms, them cocks certainly
>witnessed that bastard today. For
>shame.
> Had I any idea that money-grubbing
>oligolist: President Hole's rule would be
>so god-damn callous, I should have fought
>with all my goddamn might and main to
>fuckin' prevent that shit. Mind if I fuck
>your neck? I'll bet many of you would
>have done the fucking same. I should
>break your ass. Alas, that piece of
>shit's too fuckin' late now: we are stuck
>with Hole until he abdicates or is
>overthrown, and neither event seems
>likely. You are a fuckhead.
>God help us all.
> --
> Russell B
There. I done fixed your post, now it gots more heart.
--
President Hole: much more pleasant than brain hungry Zombies.
This post reflects the spirit and historical significance of the collected
works of William Shakespeare, H.G. Wells, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, and
Jack London, although some dramatic license has been taken.
"I can't read Hole's posts. Everything about them is too long, with too much
whitespace and too many exclamation points." -Darla VladsChyk
holef...@webtv.net M.I. #1981
How's your hole..............family?
ameliorate / Cronan
Crgre Jvyyneq
GMT]
>I can't be the only won (1) who is unable to read half the
>damned messages on Usenet this last week because of terrible
>propagation. Propagation, of course, is a hit-and-miss affair
>at the best of times, but this week it's really bad. And
>tonight has been awful.
>
>
That's because of the effects of the Solar Maximum.
Even though Big Government made this web page,
http://www.nas.edu/ssb/maxmenu.htm, the Department of Usenet,
just like the Power Companies, wasn't ready and so now we have:
NO POWER AND NO USEN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
--
Crgre http://www.drizzle.com/~petew
"Does your imaginary friend make you invisible too? Who
notices?" -- Ric Carter
Mortis
<9706f4$oq4$1...@intimidator.databasix.com>, wherein RussellB
<bigf...@subdimension.comxremovethisx> wrote:
>So, naturally, I imagine you must all be asking yourselves the same
>
>Well, I'll tell you what President Hole has done for us on this day of
>crisis, and is even now doing: NOTHING.
Pres. Hole can't even thread his own posts right, let alone save all
of USENET. I believe that bloody anarchy is the solution all our
problems.
Mortis
Master of the Unknown, KPS
Nebulosis Defunctus
"This sentence is false."
-Evil Spock
Lori
>"Mortis"--and "Mortis" alone--must bear the full responsibility for
>having written the following:
>
>>I used my telepathic powers to read
>><9706f4$oq4$1...@intimidator.databasix.com>, wherein RussellB
>><bigf...@subdimension.comxremovethisx> wrote:
>>>So, naturally, I imagine you must all be asking yourselves the same
>>>question right now: What is President Hole doing about the situation?
>>>
>>>Well, I'll tell you what President Hole has done for us on this day of
>>>crisis, and is even now doing: NOTHING.
>>
>>Pres. Hole can't even thread his own posts right, let alone save all
>>of USENET. I believe that bloody anarchy is the solution all our
>>problems.
>
>Blood makes me squeamish. I want anarchy where everybody just has a
>headache and gets all short-tempered and snippy.
GAWDAMNIT, WHERE'S THE EXCEDRIN?!!?1?11/1?!?!?
--
Lori
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
President Hole
>I used my telepathic powers to read
><9706f4$oq4$1...@intimidator.databasix.com>, wherein RussellB
><bigf...@subdimension.comxremovethisx> wrote:
>>So, naturally, I imagine you must all be
>>asking yourselves the same question
>>right now: What is President Hole doing
>>about the situation?
>>Well, I'll tell you what President Hole
>>has done for us on this day of
>>crisis, and is even now doing: NOTHING.
>Pres. Hole can't even thread his own
>posts right, let alone save all of
>USENET.
Which is deeper, your reamed face or your little hand? Hmmm? Which?
Otto Bahn
I am a hotdog.
I have four legs,
a flat back,
and a glossy finish.
Maybe I am not a hotdog.
Maybe I am a table instead.
TOO MANY TABLES ACT LIKE HOTDOGS!
--oTTo--
Glenn Knickerbocker
> I Am A Hotdog
There was a hotdog
Near my retarded friend's house.
We called it "Footstool."
ŹR
Jay E eNn eNn
>
> I Am A Hotdog
You're a hotdog but you'd better not try and hurt her, frankfurter.
jenn
--
my webpages
http://www.mindspring.com/~twpyhr/
Otto Bahn
Worst haiku ever.
--oTTo--
You say bonzai, and I say ingrow.
I don't know why you say bonzai, I say ingrow...