"Brannigan Begin Again (2ACV02)" Episode Capsule
Jordan Eisenberg
============= THE FUTURAMA CHRONICLES ==== EPISODE CAPSULE
=============
========================================================================
Official Title: Brannigan Begin Again
Episode Number: 2ACV02 (#15)
First Airdate : Sunday, November 28th, 1999 (8:30 PM)
Written by : Lewis Morton
Directed by : Jeffrey Lynch
========================================================================
= Additional tidbits =
Opening theme promotion : >> NOT Y3K COMPLIANT <<
Opening theme cartoon : "Pigs in a Polka" (1943) {mk}
28-Nov-99 Nielsen ranking: 7.9 million households (#42 for the week)
23-Apr-00 Nielsen ranking: 2.8 million households (#93 for the week)
MPAA rating : TV-PG-DV
Length minus commercials : [21:16]
Executive producer credit: Seperate
========================================================================
= Foxworld Synopsis =
Womanizing Starship Captain Zapp Brannigan is court-martialed after
he accidentally blows up the DOOP (Democratic Order of Planets)
Headquarters and is stripped of his rank. When Professor
Farnsworth
shows pity and hires the down-and-out Brannigan as the newest
member
of his crew, Zapp leads a mutiny to overthrow Leela.
========================================================================
= Minutiae =
- The creatures on the 3D chess board are: H.G. Blob (1ACV02), a
member
of Dr. Zoidberg's species (2ACV05), Glab, the horsey, Murg
(1ACV07),
an Insectoid, a three-eyed Wormulan (1ACV13), a hammerhead
(1ACV01),
Lrrr (1ACV12), the pointy guy, and a long-nosed alien.
- Fry appears to be winning. He has 6 pieces, while Bender only has
4
(not including the pointy guy).
- As Bender's team attacks Fry, you can see Lrrr brandishing a long
sword, and the Wormulan brandishing a small knife. The Insectoid
flutters in the air briefly to get out of the way of the long-nosed
alien.
- Outside Planet Express is the alien-language Slurm sign from
O'Zorgnax's Pub in 1ACV01.
- The couch has a bandaid-like patch on its left arm.
- Can anyone make out the title of Leela's magazine?
- Leela gives us another view of her strength by tipping Fry and
Bender
off the couch using a most inconvenient muscle. {thw}
- The oversized scissors are left-handed.
- The neutrals have grey tongues. {thw}
- The ceremonial ribbon seems to be tied on either end to hovering
posts.
- On the side of Zapp's ship, the number BP-1728 is written. What on
(or off of) Earth is it supposed to mean? There also seems to be
another number on the "dorsal fin" of the ship, although it is
incomprehensible on my tape.
- There is an owl perched outside the old DOOP headquarters.
- While Zapp and Kif peer into a restaurant, you can see a cop on the
street writing parking tickets.
- As Zapp suggests himself to Hattie, there is a big sign behind him
that says "SEX." The colors of the lettering against the
background,
and the close relationship between its meaning and the implications
of the scene make it almost subliminal, so that you might see it
and
not even realize you saw it.
- You can see Hermes' office from the Planet Express lobby.
- Kif has stubble at the top of his head as well as his chin. Shaven
heads must be a social convention amongst green aliens.
- Bender has three aces in the poker game. Knowing Bender, those
aces
didn't come from no deck on the table. {thw}
- Two of Fry's cards look like the four of clubs and five of spades.
- Bender and Fry are sitting on fragile-looking boxes, and using a
'this-way-up'-box turned upside down. {thw}
- Just as Leela stepped off the gangway she flinched a bit and went
"ugh," then recovered, and then Kip fell flat. I presumed it meant
she was in shape, as opposed to the other slackards. {cw}
- In addition, her hair seemed to hang down a bit. {jr}
- As a nice coincidence, Zapp's "White Flag of War" is also the flag
of
the Neutral Planet. (You can see one standing in the president's
office.)
========================================================================
= Parallels to Science Fiction / Other References =
~ "Heavy Planet" (novel)
- Although I haven't read it (yet), this book by Hal Clement dealt
with a mission to a planet with exceedingly high gravity, and all
of the challenges that entail. It was republished in 1954 as
"Mission of Gravity."
+ "Midnight Cowboy"
- The bit where Zapp and Kiff roam the streets of New York,
complete
with the song "Everybody's Talking." {jk}
- Zapp looks like Jon Voight in cowboy hat. Kif looks like Ratso
Rizzo. Jon Voigt was a hustler (a male prostitute who services
women), which is very akin to Zapp's ego. {hl}
- "Everybody's Talkin," originally sung by Nilsson in the 1969
movie
"Midnight Cowboy." <http://us.imdb.com/Title?0064665> {sp}
+ "Star Trek: TOS" (TV show)
- A very nice spoof of ST:TOS's worst kept secret - William Shatner
wore a girdle during parts of the series. Very nice reference.
Also you do have to wonder how Kirk would have dealt with neutral
people. {dt}
+ "Star Wars I: A New Hope" (movie)
- The hologram creature quasi-chess game that Bender and Fry play
in
the opening was based on the game Luke and Chewy played on board
the Millenium Falcon. {da} [{jw} points out that it was R2-D2
playing, not Luke.]
- I believe this was also a reference to Battlechess, that old,
animated chess game, since the "pointy guy" looked a lot like a
bishop from that game. {an}
========================================================================
= Goofs =
- Fry uses the "hey, I can't play chess" names for the knight and the
bishop. Still, he manages to give a quasi-correct verbal command
("Horsie to pointy guy 6") for a normal chess game, but on that
weird
board, the command makes no sense. {thw}
- The closed captions refer to Leela as "Leila" throughout the whole
episode! That's the last time I rely on _that_ for spelling.
- The Planet Express ship can be seen "parked" outside DOOP HQ, but
it
is the wrong color. (A strong shade of green.) Also, it seems to
be
destroyed when the dome disappears. [It _is_ dirty later in the
episode ... ]
- Fry spots the reception table with muffins when he walks in from
the
wall directly opposite Glab's podium, and the muffins were to his
right. However, when he is shown running towards it, he is running
from the wall opposite the table.
- After Zapp points to the yarn people of Nylar 4, the statue behind
him disappears briefly.
- The wall behind Glab is not shown when the laser cuts through the
statue. (I realize this was a perspective issue, but hey ...)
- Zapp shot a lazer through the dome of the new DOOP headquarters
without decompressing it. {zz}
- The DOOP members all managed to survive the explosion, even though
the laser cut through the domed reception area. {rc}
- The hose Fry is holding disappears right when Bender throws the
sponge. (Maybe he dropped it and it fell to the ground?)
- Fry's drawing of Leela doesn't appear until Bender points to it.
- The "SLAM" button opens the door as well as closing it. <g>
- The ship's cargo bay should not be next door to and on the same
level as the cockpit. Note the curveature of the walls that
indicate
it should be near the bottom of the ship. Also, its length is
perpendicular to what it should be.
- Fry's cards change position in his hands, instantaneously.
- Bender holds five cards, but only four are seen on the box when he
puts them down.
- The White Flag of War flutters in the vacuum of space. {thw}
- When the Neutral president's advisor warns of a beige alert, the
president's desk is bare, but in the next shot, his decorations,
minimal as they are, are back.
- How did Zapp get the spacesuit on Kif so fast without lifting his
feet off the ground?
- How do you explain a device that can hover (the hover dolly), but
not
move up and down, and not raise itself when the level of the ground
underneath it rises (say, with the volume of a jacklifting robot).
- A shadow appears along the left-hand side of the Neutral Planet,
but
when the ship turns around, you can see the opposite sky and the
sun
is not there.
- If Leela couldn't get control of the ship, how did they manage to
steer it back to Earth? (And why didn't it keep going around in
circles until the two engine's energies balanced again?) {ddg}
- Bender's bucket moves when he gives Leela puppy-dog eyes.
- Fry's hose hangs under the railing behind him, but when he talks to
Leela it hangs under the railing facing Leela.
========================================================================
= Extended Goofs / Technical Nitpicks =
>> Theoretical Cartoon Physics 202
Timothy Henrik Wille-Jørgensen: The pillows don't fall to the ground
in
the way expected from their weight. Their weight divided by their
area perpendicular to the gravitational field is very large, which
makes the air resistance very small. Considering that Fry can
breathe the air, the air must have comparable density to the
Earth's
atmosphere. Therefore, the pillows should have plummeted like
rocks.
How's that for nerdy physics?
Actually, since it's a cartoon, shouldn't the real question be, why
did
the pillows fall before acute realization that there is no ground
underneath them, and how come they didn't hold up a sign that said
"Bye-Bye" before plummeting to the ground?
========================================================================
= Reviews =
Nate "Bender" Burch: Well, right off the bat, this was a Capn'
Brannigan episode, so of course it's getting a good rating.
Brannigan was pretty good, and probably had his best lines to date
in
this episode. His hatred of "neutrals" was classic, although he
was
perhaps a little too stupid at times in this episode. This was
also
the first episode where Kif was actually entertaining, and he was
at
the absolute hight of patheticness in this ep. Fry and Bender's
lines weren't that great, as this was mostly a Leela episode, not
that that's bad, in many ways she's a more interesting character,
she's just not as funny. Of course everything wraps up in a neat
little package, and we even get our action sequence, so not an
overwhelming ep. but pretty solid. (B)
Brian Corvello: I thought this episode was very funny -- even better
than the "Simpsons" episode that preceded it. However, I can only
give it a B+ due to one little nagging problem. I really think
that
Zapp Branigan is being overused. I know he's a great villain, but
the show is not even halfway through its second season, and he has
been used three times (not to mention a joke about him used in
2ACV01), whereras villains with more potential -- such as Mom and
Beelzebot -- have not been seen since their introduction. Not to
mention the fact that Everyone would love to see some NEW villains
(the Slug Queen was a good start, however). Now, I'm not cruel. I
know that Zapp is meant to be a tribute to Phil Hartman (poor,
poor,
Phil ... I still miss him) but continually using this character is
not going to bring him back! I am certain that Phil would have
wanted the show to be successful; and overuse of a guest character
is
rarerly a good idea. However, when all is said and done, the
episode
was quite funny and a good watch. (B+)
Craig Wyllie: This is the first Futurama episode that falls close to
my
"don't really like" threshold. Just too much stupid stuff. I know
that's a weird statement, but seriously, I like my sci-fi to have
some plausability built into the storylines and character-plots, as
opposed to utterly dripping with idiocy and implausability. I
would
like to have seen Kif stay with the crew, (and not be the bore that
he is, didn't like that character development, nor the
spinelessness,
although the latter is in character with and explains why he is/was
with Zapp for so long). I'd also like to see Zapp killed off in a
deserving, quick fashion. Can't believe they're using Zapp as much
as they have. Yuk.
"Spacer2000": This episode had me smiling through it for 30 minutes
and
somewhat after. I liked the wealth of aliens in this episode, it
showed Futurama's sci-fi orgins. When it got to the country
chicken
lawyer I had to check my pulse to make sure I didn't die from
laughter. The whole Zapp and Leela confrentaion was funny and a
bit
done but since the begining was so strong I give this episode an:
(A+)
Yours Truly: It was decent. I'm still waiting for, IMO, a truly
hilarious Season Two episode, yet. (B-)
Average Grade: [16/4=4] (B+)
========================================================================
= Final Thoughts / Comments =
Something tells me the line in the beginning about watching cartoons
refers to the audience!
Joe Klemm: The ribbon-cutting scissors resemble a pair that is used
at
elementary schools.
Timothy Henrik Wille-Jørgensen: It's surprising that Hermes knows
about
a thousand-year-old show like "Star Trek." But, I guess, either
Star
Trek is worshipped as some kind of ludicrously-wrong-kult-kitsch
thing by the Y3K generation X (likely) or it didn't go out of
syndication until 2997 (even more likely). [Maybe Earth learned
about it from the Omicronians. -ed]
That old boring rule about jurors having no involvement with the
case seems to have dissapeared from DOOP rules. Also, did anyone
else notice the huge satire on the inefficiency of court
proceedings, embodied by the judge?
Only Fry reacts to Leela's admission to having sex with Zapp
Brannigan. (Maybe everyone else already saw the web page.)
Zapp walks away in jerky, kicking steps after 'questioning' Leela
(you can hear the squeaking of the space-age 'oh-it-can't-be-
linoleum-in-the-year-3000' super-squeaky plastic floor material).
Brian Corvello: The race of The Neutrals is a reference to "Star
Trek"
and its spin-offs: The Federation and the Romulan Empire agreed to
the designation of a "Neutral Zone," an area of space between their
territories which both were forbidden to enter. Building the
space station at the Neutrals' homeworld also reflects the United
Nation's frequent tendency to hold summits at neutral nations, such
as Switzerland or Iceland.
Apparently, Fry and Leela delivering those lugnuts to Chapek 9
(1ACV05) did more good than was previously believed. A Robot Elder
from that planet was on the jury at Zapp's trial, meaning Chapek 9
has joined DOOP, meaning that the robots there have made peace with
Earth. (Of course, there was no official proof that Earth is a
member of DOOP, but seeing as the human Zapp is a member, and they
are headquartered in New Jersey, it probably is.) So how come Fry
and Leela never got any recognition for making peace?
Exactly why did Leela keep a child-sized spaceship on her ship? Is
she moonlighting as a babysitter?
Haynes Lee: Amazons [are] a mythic race of female warriors who cut
off
one of their breasts so that they can draw thier bows.
Hattie must be a wealthy woman. In 1ACV10, she could afford a trip on
the Titanic, and in this episode, she rides in a limo.
How interesting that Zapp refers to Bender's brain as "the old
noodle."
"glooba" <lumbak...@rocketmail.com>: My nephew spotted "Live Free
or
Don't" as we watched last weekend in New Hampshire. ("Live Free or
Die" is on the license plates in NH.) Pretty funny; I assume it
was
a take-off on NH.
For some reason, this episode listed Matt Groening and David X. Cohen
seperately in the executive producer credits, and DC got to go
first.
Maybe they want to give him more recognition. Maybe there was a
mutiny on the staff. (This tradition lasts for 6 episodes, ending
with 2ACV06.)
========================================================================
= Fun Stuff =
>> References to Previous Episodes
- [1ACV01] Hammerhead alien appears
- [1ACV02] Horrible, Gelatinous Blob appears
- [1ACV03] Owls seen
- [1ACV04] The NIMBUS appears
- [1ACV05] Robot Elders appear
- [1ACV06] Other members of Zoidberg's race are seen
- [1ACV07] Trisolians appear
- [1ACV10] Zapp abandons a doomed spaceship
- [1ACV11] The hover dolly appears
- [1ACV12] Lrrr appears
- [1ACV13] Glermo 2 appears
>> Fan-made Alternate Titles for this Episode
"In with the Oaf, Out with the Neutral"
"The Zapp Mutiny" {hl}
========================================================================
= Voice Credits =
>> Starring
Billy West ......................... Fry, Professor Farnsworth,
Zapp,
Glermo 2, Neutral
2
Katey Sagal ...................................................
Leela
John DiMaggio ................................................
Bender
Tress MacNeille ..................................... Glab,
Amazonian
>> Also Starring
Maurice LaMarche ....................... Neutral 1, Kif,
Hyperchicken
>> Guest Starring
Phil LaMarr ..................................................
Hermes
= Quotes and Scene Summaries =
[Parts of this transcript was written by Leandro Pardini.]
% Fry and Bender are in the Planet Express ship playing futuristic
chess
% -- a game played on a circular board with holographic pieces
% resembling alien creatures. Fry ponders his move, then speaks
aloud:
% "Horsie to pointy guy six."
% On the board, one of the holograms, an anthropomorphic horse,
% approaches a green alien with a pointy hat. The two figures
exchange
% blows, and the pointy one looks like the winner, until the horse
whips
% out a knife and stabs his opponent to death. He kicks the dead body
% away and assumes the spot.
% Fry leans back in his seat and says "Check." Bender ponders the
board
% for a moment, then points to Fry and yells "Get 'im, boys!" Half of
% the holograms leap off of the board and tackle Fry to the ground,
% where violent grunts and kicks are heard.
Fry: [recovering] Good move!
% End of Act One (0:22)
% Back at Planet Express, Fry and Bender are lying in the couch
% watching TV, while Leela reads near them. Farnsworth and Hermes
% enter, carrying a box.
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. We have a mission to further the
noble cause of intergalatic peace.
Bender: Nope. Watching cartoons.
Fry: Sorry.
% Leela lifts the couch and throws them out of it, and then turns to
% face Farnsworth and Hermes.
Leela: What's the mission?
Farnsworth: It's a delivery for the Democratic Order Of Planets.
% Farnsworth points at the package, that has "DOOP" written on it.
Fry: DOOP? What's that?
Farnsworth: It's similiar to the United Nations from your time, Fry.
Fry: [Confused] Uh ...
Hermes: Or like the Federation from your "Star Trek" program.
Fry: [Realizing] Oh!
Farnsworth: Tonight is the ribbon cutting for the DOOP's new
headquarters.
Leela: What are we delivering?
Farnsworth: Something without which no ribbon cutting ceremony could
proceed: the ceremonial oversized scissors.
% Farnsworth takes the scissors off the package and hands them to
Leela.
Leela: We'll get them there as quickly as we can.
Farnsworth: All right, but don't run with them.
% The Planet Express ship flies to the New DOOP Headquarters, a big
% space station floating in the Neutral Zone. They enter a section of
% the station that is separated from the rest, where the ceremony is
% proceeding; lots of aliens are are situated around many tables.
Fry: Wow, there's a million aliens. I've never seen anything so
mind-blowing. Ooh, a reception table with muffins!
% Excited, Fry runs across the room. The host of the ceremony, a
female
% of the same species as Kif (named Glab), gives a speech. There's an
% alien near her whose skin is gray and never shows any emotion: the
% Neutral planet's president; the ribbon is right behind them.
Glab: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ribbon cutting ceremony
of
the DOOP's magnificent new headquarters. A fitting home for
an
organization that has fostered peace through all the universe
--
even between the Insectoids and the Space Lizards!
% The host points to a section of the room where a Space Lizard is
% eating an Insectoid. The lizard realizes everyone is looking at
him,
% so he spits the insectoid and shakes his hand. The audience
applauds.
% Meanwhile, Fry is engaged in conversation with a neanderthallish
woman
% with bulging muscles, who is twice his height.
Fry: So, what's it's like on Planet Amazonia?
Woman: Big rats there. Me crush with club!
Fry: That's so interesting. Maybe we could get to know each other
over a coffee?
% Cut back to the ceremony.
Glab: I can think of no better place for this center of diplomacy
than here in orbit around the Neutral planet. What are
your
thoughts on this momentous occasion, your Neutralness?
Neutral: I have no strong feelings one way or the other.
% The audience applauds again, except for one men and one alien: Zapp
% Brannigan and Kif Kroker.
Zapp: I hate this filthy neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where
they stand but with neutrals, who knows? It ... sickens me.
% Kif groans. Fry, Leela and Bender pass nearby, and Zapp stops them.
Zapp: Halt! Why, Leela ... I do believe we've ... met.
Bender: He means you guys did it.
Leela: If you don't mind, we're here to deliver the scissors for
the
ribbon cutting.
Zapp: Then you're under arrest!
[he grabs the scissors]
Leela: What for?
Zapp: How do I know this scissors aren't part of neutral plot?
Leela: But they're not even sharp. Who could I possibly hurt with
them?
Zapp: The yarn people of Nylar 4.
% He points at a table of aliens who look like they are made out of
pink
% yarn. Then he hands the scissors to Kif.
Zapp: So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors
-
how very neutral of you.
Leela: What?
Zapp: It was almost the perfect crime but you forgot one thing:
rock
crushes scissors ... [ponders] But paper covers rock and
scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. [Kif groans]
Search them for paper ... and bring me a rock.
Kif: [exhasperated] Why?
Zapp: [admiring Leela] So beautiful, yet so neutral.
% He holds Leela's hands and puts a restraining belt on them, while
% Leela looks more and more annoyed. Zapp takes the crew to his ship,
% forgetting completely about the ceremony.
Glab: And now, to cut the ribbon, the legendary DOOP captain who
just
returned from a triumphant carpet-bombing of Eden 7, Zapp
Brannigan!
% Everyone applauds for some time, until they realize Zapp's not
there.
% Cut to Zapp's ship, where the crew are tied to their chairs and Zapp
% is interrogating them. Kif reminds Zapp that he's supposed to be
% cutting the ribbon, and Zapp decides to cut the ribbon from there
with
% the ship's laser. He activates a machine by the window, sets it to
% "Hyperdeath," and, after successfully cutting the ribbon, proceeds
to
% burn through the wall of the room, and eventually through the body
of
% the space station. The whole structure explodes, sending the
assembly
% room flying into space, while Zapp and Kif watch safe in their ship,
% horrified.
Zapp: Whoopsie-daisy.
% Cut to the former DOOP headquarters, a big and dilapidated building
in
% Weehauken, New Jersey, where Zapp Brannigan's court-martialing trial
% is being held. Glab is presiding as judge and the prosecuting
% attorney is a giant blue chicken. After Zapp pleads "Absolutely 99%
% not guilty," and the jury (which consists of aliens who were at the
% ceremony) identifies him as guilty, Glab instructs the jury to
% disregard its own testimony, and announces that she will dismiss all
% charges. Leela, who is watching from the audience, objects, and
% testifies in front of the court that she saw Zapp blow up
headquarters
% with her own eye. After a bumbling cross-examination of her by
Zapp,
% the jury spends five seconds discussing the case, and declares him
% guilty. After Glab announces that he is stripped of his rank and
% dishonorably discharged, a tear comes to Zapp's eye and he strolls
% somberly down the aisle to the exit. Before leaving, he makes one
% final statement to the courtroom:
Zapp: My friends, you can take away a man's title and his
uniform,but
you can never take his integrity or his honor. Plus, it was
mostly Kif's fault.
Kif: What?
Glab: Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of your rank, and
dishonorably
discharged!
% Poor Kif attemps to say something in his defense, but he just gets
% tongue-tied. Finally, he groans.
% End of Act Two (7:25)
% Zapp and Kif, in civilian clothes, exit the old DOOP headquarters.
% Zapp laments their fate.
Zapp: One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400
billion space station and the next day he has nothing. It
makes
you think.
Kif: No, it doesn't.
Zapp: Come, Kif. It's time to begin our life as civilians.
% Zapp walks away without Kif, then yells "That's an order, soldier!"
% Kif follows him. Their plights through the following days are
played
% against the song "Everybody's Talkin'", while they wander the
streets,
% beg for money (Kif dances while Zapp collects their change) and
% finally sell their bodies on the street. (Hattie, the landlady,
% chooses Kif to transact with.)
% Meanwhile, at Planet Express, Fry and Bender are scrubbing the side
of
% the ship under Leela's supervision. Fry drenchs Bender with a hose;
% in reply, Bender tosses a wet sponge at him, but Fry ducks and the
% sponge hits Leela in the eye.
Leela: All right ... this is the third hose fight I've broken up
today and the second one using actual hoses. Now, move your
lazy asses and start scrubbing the ship like I ordered you
to!
Fry: You don't have to get so mad, Leela.
Bender: Yeah, Fry already wiped off some of the dirt with his
finger.
% Along the side of the ship, a picture of Leela yelling "Yak, Yak,
Yak"
% is drawn in the dirt. Leela leaves to answer the doorbell and finds
% Zapp and Kif outside wearing rags, with bloodshot eyes and bearded
% chins. Zapp pleads for her help, and she is about to turn him away
% when Professor Farnsworth intervenes, and decides it would be a good
% idea to hire a disgraced starship caption because "having him on
board
% would distract people from our horrendous safety records."
% Cut to the conference table. Zapp and Kif, both clean-shaven and
% nicely dressed, are sitting with the others, while Hermes stands
next
% to the Professor.
Farnsworth: I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. Uh...
[To Hermes] Which ones are new?
Hermes: The green dude and the fat man.
Farnsworth: Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before,
either.
Bender: I'm Bender. You know, the lovable rascal.
Farnsworth: Oh, yes, yes, my good friend, of course. [He shrugs to
Hermes]. Anyway, whoever you all are, I have good news!
You'll be making a delivery to Stumbos 4, a planet with
such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under
the
weight of your own hair. Enjoy!
% The Planet Express'ship flies to Stumbos 4, with Leela at the helm;
% Kif is with her. In the cargo bay, Bender and Fry are playing
Poker,
% while Zapp walks around.
Zapp: So, this Leela ... I know she's a very sensuous woman, but
what matter of Captain is she?
Fry: She's really strict.
Bender: And mean.
Zapp: I see. Does she by any chance give the crew members
spankings?
Fry: No, she just makes us do work and stuff.
Zapp: Good, good. But, should she ever institute some sort of
bare-
bottom spanking policy, let me go in your place. I won't
have
my comrads harmed.
Bender: Hey, this guy's alright!
% Bender gets three beers out of his chest cavity, and shares them.
Zapp: Here's to us poor schmoes, working for the man ... even if he
is
a hot, sexy, female man.
% They drink, while the ship enters orbit. In the bridge, Kif stands
at
% Leela's side.
Kif: I've computed our landing coordinates, captain.
Leela: Thanks, Kif. Very nice work.
Kif: [Groans] Wait ... what?
Leela: I said, "Very nice work."
% Leela turns back to the controls. Kif is shocked. A smile forms on
% his face.
Kif: This is the happiest day of my life!
% He hugs Leela, forcibly, while she cowers. As the ship lands,
rather
% clumsily due to the high gravity, Leela outlines their mission in
the
% cargo bay. Fry, Zapp and Bender are to deliver 40 pillows to a
hotel
% up the hill.
Bender: They're not very heavy, but you don't hear me not
complaining.
Leela: They're not heavy in here because we have an anti-grav pump;
but once you get on on the surface the gravity will be very
intense.
Fry: Hey, no prob! This lead apron will protect me!
Leela: I don't want any screw-ups. Use the hover dolly, and just
deliver one pillow at a time.
[She exits the cargo bay]
Bender: Hey, here's an idea: let's deliver all the pillows at once.
Fry: Yeah!
Zapp: That's using the old noodle.
% The cargo bay's elevator lowers to the surface, with the three guys
% and the hover dolly, stuffed to the gills with pillows. The high
% gravity pulls Fry and Bender to the ground, and rips Zapp's girdle.
% After pushing the pillows onto the surface, the dolly immediately
% collapses and breaks down. Leela checks up on them.
Leela: What the hell happened?!
Bender: Some breaking occured. The dolly was involved. That's
about
all we know.
Leela: I told you dumb apes not to overload it. Each of those
pillows weights 150 pounds here.
Fry: All right, don't get your panties in a knot. We'll just use
the backup dolly.
Bender: I'll start loading up the pillows.
Leela: No way, jack! You disobeyed an order so now you'll have to
deliver all 40 pillows by hand.
Zapp: Let me ask you a serious question, Leela. Does the company
that made your bra make a girdle as well? I ask because a
friend of mine ...
Leela: Just get to work!
% Zapp, Fry and Bender are each dragging a pillow across the lawn to
the
% hotel, complaining. In the ship, Leela is half-heartedly listening
to
% Kif talk about how Zapp once ordered him to shave his armpits while
he
% was in the bathtub. It starts to rain outside, and the three boys
% crawl for cover under a large rock.
Bender: This is all Leela's fault.
Fry: Yeah. If she had let us use the backup dolly, we could have
broken it, given up and gone home by now.
Zapp: You know, boys, a good captain needs many skills, such as
boldness, daring and a valour uniform. And I'm not
convinced
Leela has any of those things.
Fry: Oh, Leela's not that bad. I just wish she didn't make us
work
so much.
Zapp: Back when I was captain, all I asked from my men was their
complete loyalty. If I had that, then for all I cared they
could sit around the whole day drinking beer in their
underpants.
Bender: [dreamily] Beer?
Fry: [dreamily] Underpants?
% Fry and Bender smile to each other. Cut to the ship, where Leela is
% still enduring conversation with Kif.
Kif: But now, Zapp's not captain anymore. I'm free! [Laughs]
Oh,
you hear that? I'm actually laughing!!! [More laughter]
[In comes Fry, Bender and Zapp.]
Fry: This is a mutiny!
[Kif sighs]
Bender: You're outta here, lady! Zapp's the new captain.
[Zapp handcuffs Leela]
Fry: All hail the new captain!
% He does so by getting a beer and unzipping his fly. His jeans fall
to
% the floor.
% End of Act Three (6:58)
% The ship is now leaving Stumbos 4, with Leela still in handcuffs and
% Zapp in the pilots' seat.
Zapp: Leela, you may be a formidable doer of the nasty, but I'm
forced to relieve you of your post.
Leela: On what grounds, you slobbering oath?
Zapp: Failure to prevent a mutiny. Throw her in the brig.
Fry: We don't have a brig.
Zapp: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be
referred to as the brig.
% Bender and Fry follow the orders; as they leave her in the laundry
% room, she looks sadly at them.
Leela: You really don't want me to be captain anymore?
Bender: You got it, genius.
Leela: But. .. didn't I do a good job?
Fry: You were mean, and you yelled, and you made us do all that
work.
Leela: Sometimes a captain needs to do those things. Besides, I
thought we were friends.
Fry: Yeah, well, you shouldn't been such a mean captain, then.
Bender: Don't worry Leela, soon we'll be able to look back on this
and laugh.
% They both leave her alone in the room. Bender turns around once
more
% and laughs in her face. Meanwhile, Zapp has assumed his old
uniform,
% and sends Kif to the "laundry brig" to wash his old civilian
clothes.
Zapp: So, do I have your loyalty men?
Bender: To the ends of the universe!
Fry: Ten hundred percent!
Zapp: That's not nearly loyal enough. I order you to sit around
and drink beer until you're as loyal as Kif here.
Bender: Yes sir, sir!
% He gives Fry and Bender a beer. Kif comes back and sees them.
Kif: Um, may I have a beer, sir?
Zapp: No. You're loyal enough already. M eanwhile, I have a plan.
We will single handedly attack our arch-enemy, the Neutral
Planet!
Kif: Oh, geez.
Zapp: Once the Neutral war machine lies in ruins, I'll be a hero
again, and the DOOP will reinstate me as captain!
Kif: But, sir ... that plan makes no sense.
Zapp: Maybe not to you ,Kif, but if I recall correctly you were
court-martialed in disgrace!
Fry: Oohhhh, burn!
Bender: Nailed you, buddy.
% Later ...
Zapp: Prepare to continue the epic struggle between good and
neutral.
Fry: This is awesome. We're gonna be, like ... Pow! Pow! Pow!
And they're gonna be, like ... Aaaaaa!! KABOOM!!! And
then
we'll have pancakes to celebrate, and I'll be, like ...
[makes
a muffled chewing noise]
Zapp: Precisely. Now, in the name of all that is good and
honorable, we'll call the neutral president with a message
of peace, then blast him.
Bender: Yes, sir, sirdy-sir-sir-sir!
Zapp: Fly the white flag of war!
% A white flag is raised on top of the ship. Cut to the Neutral
Capitol
% in Neutropolis, where the Neutral president is receiving Zapp's
% transmission. The president's secretary stands beside him.
Zapp: [on-screen] This is Zapp Brannigan of the good ship,
"Planet Express ship." I come swinging the olive branch
of
peace.
Assistent: Should we trust him, your neutralness?
President: All I know is, my gut says maybe.
% Back in the ship, Zapp cuts the transmission.
Bender: What now, chief?
Zapp: Now, we crash the ship into their headquarters, killing them
in a hellish firestorm from which no living thing can
escape.
Fry: Good, good ... then what?
Zapp: Then your mission is complete. I, meanwhile, will have
ejected to safety, wearing the only spacesuit on board.
% Fry and Bender get up of their seats, cheering. They high-five each
% other, then have a realization.
Fry: Wait a second, is this plan gonna kill us?
Zapp: Of course! What do you think I meant by loyalty? Now, help
me
into the _only_ spacesuit. It looks a bit sweaty in there, so
you may need to apply baby powder.
% Bender and Fry rush into the laundry room, where Leela is folding
% towels and Kif is pouring detergent into the washing machine.
Fry: Leela! We want you to be captain again!
Leela: Let me guess, he cancelled naptime?
[they shake their heads]
Leela: He ran out of beer?
[they shake their heads]
Leela: So he's about to kill us?
[they nod]
% Cut to the bridge; Zapp is already in his spacesuit, when Fry,
Leela,
% Bender and Kif enter.
Fry: We want Leela to be captain again!
Zapp: So, it's mutiny, is it? I never thought I'd see the day.
Come,
Kif, let's eject. I found a childrens' spacesuit you can
wear.
Kif: Well, to be honest sir, I'd rather stay here with Captain
Leela.
She actually listens to what I have to ...
% Leela slams Kif's helmet over him before he can finish, and Zapp has
% him in the suit in another second. Kif tires of struggling, then
% allows Zapp to carry him out of the room, and a few moments later
they
% are seen floating out into space. Leela assumes the controls of the
% ship, but finds that Zapp has disabled the steering, and the ship is
% on a collision course. Without panicking, Leela takes control.
Leela: Okay, okay. We have one chance. Are you willing to do what
I
say as captain?
Fry: Absolutely.
Leela: Even if I make you work hard?
Bender: With your god as my witness.
Leela: Then go get the hover dolly you didn't break and put all the
dark matter into the left engine!
Bender: [whiny] Aww, man, that crap's heavy.
Fry: [whiny] And warm.
Leela: Just do it!
% The ship is tearing through the planet's atmosphere at break-neck
% speeds. In the Neutral Capitol, the president's assistent rushes in
% with news of the imminent crash.
Assistant: Your Neutralness! It's a beige alert!
President: If I don't survive, tell my wife "hello."
% In the ship, Bender and Fry are working in the engine room. Leela
is
% communicating with them by televideo.
Leela: Hurry! I don't want to die at the age of 25.
Bender: Honey, unless we hit a time warp I wouldn't worry about it.
% They reach the left engine's Dark Matter Containment Chamber. Fry
% uses Bender's leg as a jacklift to lift the hover dolly up to the
% window, and they drop all the dark matter inside. A flame boils up,
% and outside, one side of the ship's propulsion system comes to life
% and steers the ship to the side. It barely misses the planet, then
% circles around and flies back into space. They all cheer, and Fry
% applauds: "And no one will have to punish anyone for the mutiny!"
% At DOOP headquarters, Zapp is explaining his case to the judge ...
Zapp: And, so, when captain Leela panicked, perhaps distracted
by female troubles, my quick thinking allowed me to do
whatever I did to save the day.
Glab: Captain Leela, is this rambling story of magic and
heroism
true?
Leela: Well, actually ...
Farnsworth: [to Leela] That a girl! If they don't take him back we
can keep him as captain!
Leela: [swiftly] Your honor, it's all true. My female
incompetence ... Zapp's catlike reflexes ... the stuff
that made no sense ... all of it!
[the audience murmurs]
Glab: In that case, Zapp Brannigan, I hereby restore your rank
and parking privileges.
% The audience cheers. Farnsworth yells "Oh, poo." Fry hugs Bender
and
% high-fives Leela. Zapp approaches Kif holding a shaving razor,
% explaining they've got "work to do." Kif promises Leela that he'll
% call her and tell her about it, then leaves. Back at Planet
Express,
% Fry and Bender are washing the ship again.
Fry: Leela, I just want you to know that even though you're mean,
you're the best captain ever.
[she smiles]
Bender: Yeah, you're one dynamite babe. Can we have the week off?
Leela: No!
Fry: Please ... ?
Bender: Come on, captain.
[they look at her with puppy-dog eyes]
Leela: Well ... all right.
% The Professor walks in, yells "No time off!" and leaves again. The
% boys mutter disappointments, and Leela says, under her breath,
"Let's
% mutiny ..."
% End of Act Four (6:31)
========================================================================
= Contributers =
{cw} Craig Wyllie {jw} John Wasser
{da} David Antonoff {mk} Mike Konczewski
{hl} Haynes Lee {rc} Rick Carlson
{jk} Joe Klemm {thw} Timothy Henrik
Wille-Jørgensen
{jr} John Reb {zz} Zachary Zulkowski
{an} Andr...@aol.com
{sp} Spacer2000
========================================================================
30th Century Fox can take away a man's ===== First posted :
09-Jul-2000
capsules and his website, but they can ===== Revision A :
09-Jul-2000
never take away his integrity, his ===== E-mail
jed...@earthlink.net
honor or his USENET access. Plus, it
=================================
was mostly Jordan Eisenberg's fault.
=================================
Available on the web at: <http://www.frcr.com/capsules/2ACV02.txt>
Rimau Dahan
jed...@earthlink.net (Jordan Eisenberg) wrote:
> - Just as Leela stepped off the gangway she flinched a bit and went
> "ugh," then recovered, and then Kip fell flat.
Weighted down by his oversized head...
> Nate "Bender" Burch: Well, right off the bat, this was a Capn'
> Brannigan episode, so of course it's getting a good rating.
> Brannigan was pretty good, and probably had his best lines to date
> in
> this episode. His hatred of "neutrals" was classic, although he
> was
> perhaps a little too stupid at times in this episode.
*Too* stupid? Him? I don't think so.
> This was
> also
> the first episode where Kif was actually entertaining, and he was
> at
> the absolute hight of patheticness in this ep.
Constantly kvetching about Zapp to Leela...
> Brian Corvello: I thought this episode was very funny -- even better
> than the "Simpsons" episode that preceded it. However, I can only
> give it a B+ due to one little nagging problem. I really think
> that
> Zapp Branigan is being overused. I know he's a great villain
Antagonist, yes. But *villain*? Annoyance, more like.
> Leela: On what grounds, you slobbering oath?
I believe the word was "oaf," not "oath." An *oath* is either a vow or
a curse word. An *oaf* is a good description of Zapp Brannigan.
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