The Troll FAQ V 1.1 Part 1
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v 1.1
Contents
Part 1
Introduction
Thread Starters
Part 2
Engagements
Part 3
Ethics
Part 4
Attitude
Part 5
Sources
The Troll FAQ
Part 1
INTRODUCTION
This portion of The Troll FAQ addresses thread starters.
While thread starters can be used as the starting point
for an engagement troll, early trolling practice was to
use the thread starter as a *hit and run*, with the troll
posting no followups.
Currently, most trolls engage in existing threads. The
thread starter, especially the hit and run, has become
rare.
Rarity is no reason to consider it without merit. The
hit and run may be the purest form of trolling. And
the thread starter built on hit and run techniques
is often the best way to start an engagement.
THREAD STARTERS
Someone Must Start Threads
Someone must start threads, but many trolls rely upon
groupers to do it. Trolls claim to be more creative
than groupers. Its obvious threads are best started
by the most creative group participants. So trolls
who think they are more creative had best start some
threads. If they don't, their claim to the lofty title
of troll is questionable.
Even those who prefer to engage should start threads.
A thread with a subject selected by a troll is likely
to be a more interesting thread for the troll. And it
gives the troll a better opportunity to direct the
topics of discussion to areas where the troll has the
advantage.
Topic Selection
Better results are obtained with relevant topics. This
should be apparent, but many trolls start in a group by
attacking groupers on issues irrelevant to the group,
or by posting off topic for the irritation effect. Much
better is to post on a topic relevant to the group and
promote conflict on topical material.
It is true there are groups that essentially don't have
topics. Many trolls are attracted to such groups, which
can be characterized as group where people have just
chosen to hang out, more for *who is present* than for a
topic. Yes, its a lot easier to troll such a group with
personal attacks than it is to troll a group with a real
topic. Taking the easy way to thrills makes them, well,
cheap thrills.
In any case, posting at least arguably on topic is a
characteristic to strive for.
The Most Important Words
The most important words of any thread starter are those
in the subject line. It must appeal to groupers and
prompt them to download the post. Trolls' subject lines
must stand out in the group as being something special,
perhaps appearing as news or posing a puzzling question.
Traditional advice to groupers is to write subject lines
precisely descriptive of subject of the article. This is
fine for groupers, but definitely not necessary for trolls.
More important than an accurate subject line is an enticing
one. For a troll, its not bad form at all to have a
misleading subject line. A seemingly normal subject line
which is only later found by the reader to be misleading
is also effective.
This doesn't mean every subject line should be misleading.
It means the option of a misleading subject line should
be considered, especially when there is difficulty in
creating an enticing and accurate one. Enticement must
take priority.
The Opening Paragraph
This paragraph follows the subject line in importance.
There must be minimal evidence in the opening paragraph
the post is a troll, yet it must be interesting to the
reader. Once a reader gets through the first paragraph,
it is likely he will read the entire post, drawn in and
trapped.
Although rare, sometimes only a single paragraph needed.
This works best when the paragraph is dead on a hot topic
in the group.
Development
The need for only a single paragraph is rare. Usually,
some development is needed.
Standard writing advice stressing the need for clarity
does not necessarily apply to trolls. Sometimes it does,
as when a story is so artfully constructed as to seem real
to almost everyone, and at the same time raises real and
unanswerable questions.
These may be the most difficult type of thread starters
to write, because such posts contain almost no hints they
are trolls. The difficulty of seeming *real* while being
provocative frustrates many trolls.
When clarity, reasonableness, and provocation as a
combination aren't possible, obfuscation becomes a troll's
friend. It is here that the *better* writer will by
intent write *less well* when evaluated on the criteria
of clarity.
Introducing totally unrelated thoughts isn't a good idea,
but its effective when each paragraph is only remotely
related to the previous one, or when it takes what is a
minor issue in the previous paragraph and unexpectedly
treats it as a major one.
Doing this gradually throughout a post can result in
a final paragraph with a topic quite different from the
first paragraph. Groupers will tend to concentrate on
different portions of such posts in their responses, and
this results in a delightfully confusing thread.
Other times, what would appear to be major point can be
carried all the way to the end with the minor ones used
as provocative insults or jokes. The best situation is
when, in an x posted article, something is seen as an
insult or false by readers in one group and as humorous
or truthful by readers in other groups.
Complicated sentence structure can be used to the troll's
advantage, for instance (and don't over do it by combining
this too heavily with other techniques) constructing
sentences that, although properly constructed, include
multiple phrases separated by commas (parenthetical
statements help too) and sentences that end up with a
different thought than what they started with (although
remember brevity might be the soul of wit but might not be
the best wit for trolls) especially in those circumstances
where the joke is on the reader.
When the same subject is kept throughout the post, each
paragraph can build tension by being more provocative than
the last. Its a matter of slowing *turning up the heat*,
and doing it so slowly the reader doesn't notice its
happening.
Closure
A time proven method of closure is a final paragraph that
is insulting to many of the readers. This is difficult to
achieve, but should be the first one considered.
Another method is to close by claiming the post proves
something most readers will think it doesn't. This can
be particularly fun when it can be conveyed to some of the
readers that the troll doesn't really believe his stated
conclusion. Essentially a *with a wink* closure, this will
leave some groupers flaming and others laughing with the
troll at the flamers.
A closure with a question, particularly when few groupers
will perceive the post is a troll, is something to be
considered. It is a natural for a situation where the
troll has identified several issues where groupers can
be expected to disagree. Sometimes, even a post with an
*authoritative* stance can be effectively closed with a
question.
Actual closure, a concluding statement that summarizes the
main point of the post is also effective. A summary that
people will perceive differently, that is, one that some
will perceive as a joke and others as an insult, or one
that some will see as true and others as false is a near
requirement for a summary closure.
Choice of the most effective closure depends on the nature
of the post. If a post is constructed to be plausible to
most readers, then a question or accurate summary often
works well. Otherwise, one of the other options is better.
Post Length
A post containing only two or three sentences usually
won't be effective. There are exceptions, mentioned
previously, and usually require that the topic be very
provocative to the group and the delivery unexpected.
Trolls must remain aware that writing either too much
or too little is charting a course to failure.
If there's a *story* to be told, a troll should strive
for a minimum of two paragraphs of four to six lines each.
Three paragraphs are usually better than two, as it breaks
down into introduction, development, and closure.
Maximum effective length is in the vicinity of sixty
total lines. The length of a thread starter must be
within the attention span of the majority of the groupers.
If a prototype troll turns out to be longer than that,
the subject is too large for one post. Methods other
than a single post must be considered.
One option is to break the material into multiple articles
and post it as a series. But usually, even if the first
post is successful, subsequent thread starters generate few
followups.
A better choice is to use the additional material in a
subsequent engagement in the original thread. This works
best when the original troll hasn't been tremendously
successful. There's little point in using addition
material if the groupers, by their responses, have created
a self-sustaining thread.
At the same time, there's no point in trying to prop up
a failed troll with multiple additional attempts. If the
thread starter failed, one, maybe two, attempts to get it
going are enough. If they don't work, accept failure. A
successful troll learns from failures, and will try again
in a different way.
Crossposts
Crossposts are essential for a hit and run, and helpful
for other thread starters. Relevancy is important. There
is no point in x posting to groups where groupers won't
participate. Complaints from groupers about off topic
x posting to a group isn't high quality participation.
A troll who counts such followups as evidence of success
is fooling himself.
Posts can be created with a few groups in mind, and then
the groups list expanded as the troll is being written.
If a prototype troll turns out to be a little shorter than
desired, additional material can be added that's relevant
to additional groups.
A common error is thinking *the more groups the better*.
Its not true. Posting to groups no one reads is a waste
of effort. Posting to groups that many servers don't have
presents a danger.
Some newsreaders give a user a warning message if a group
in the x post followup isn't on the user's server, which
will often be the case with rare groups. This is a *red
flag* to groupers and will reduce followups. Including
upa groups can also be a warning to groupers who take note
of the newsgroups field when deciding whether to respond.
Including upa groups will often reduce the number of
followups.
Also, many servers filter messages posted to more than a
few groups, so propagation will be poor on a message with
a huge number of x posts. The old standard of ten maximum
groups may not apply in all cases. Some servers are
filtering post with groups greater than five.
This means posting to six groups may not be a good idea.
It may be wise to give up the traffic that might be created
by that sixth group, posting only to five, because the
filtering effect by including the sixth group might result
in a greater reduction in traffic from all groups.
Basically, to go over five groups, its advisable to have
at least seven, and possibly eight, that can be expected
to contribute substantially to the thread. And its wise
to never exceed ten.
Review
Don't count on groupers to start threads. Start your own.
Post on topic.
The goal of the subject line is not to accurately describe
the article. Its goal is to prompt people to download the
article and read it.
Use the first paragraph to draw people in.
Develop the thoughts, but don't neglect obfuscation.
Make posts *long enough* but not *too long*.
Increase tension and/or provocation gradually as the post
proceeds. Don't blatantly provoke early.
Select a closure appropriate for the post.
Don't bother with irrelevant x posts.
Don't x post excessively or to rare groups.
--
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at
without result. --- Winston Churchill