Wanted : Kibology FAQ
Roy Hall
Hi, just joined the group. Looking for a Kibology FAQ, any help?? Anyone
just wanna tell me what this is all about,
Thanx
R Hall
--
Do not try the patience of wizards,
for they are subtle, and quick to anger.
*****************************************
Any unsolicited commercial emails received will be proofread and
returned to source, along with a bill for 150UKP. Sending such
emails to my account will be deemed acceptance of these terms.
Carlos Froggy May
So much Roy Hall (yan...@detoronics.net) it is all over your screen:
: Hi, just joined the group.
What group?
Hunh? SPEAK UP!
WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU TELL US ABOUT "THE GROUP"!
: Looking for a Kibology FAQ, any help??
http://world.std.com/~kibo/kibofaq.html
GTBOA.
Gosh, is it a lot less fun now that Kibo put up the webpage?
DARN YOU STRAIGHT TO HECK, MISTER INTERNET GURU!!
: Anyone just wanna tell me what this is all about,
Much doubt so.
: Thanx
Ur Wxlcm.
: R Hall
: --
: Do not try the patience of wizards,
: for they are subtle, and quick to anger.
Try instead the patents of lizards,
Have an Iguana...Take two; they're small.
Your Amphibeous Cyberpal,
Froggy
* Fro...@neosoft.com ** "The Information Super-Frog" [dibs] *
http://www.angelfire.com/la/carlosmay/
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 28 Nov 1997 19:45:46 GMT, Carlos "Froggy" May
said:
:X-fb-killfile-bait: Jaffo+Vampire
YM "Jaffo's grepfile bait" HTH
--
"I for one sure know from Jaffo's postings that he isn't
on this list to buss anyone's butt, least of all mine."
-- E. Gary Gygax
http://rampages.onramp.net/~jaffo/
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 02:31:24 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
:And then he turned into a BALROG, and killed the PURPLE WORM with the
:IVORY STAFF!
:
:Fortunately, Jaffo had hollowed out the corpse of an ORC while this was
:going on, so he was able to hide inside it and still escape with the EYE
:OF ODUN!
:
:It was at this point that the guy with the BOWLER and the MAGISTER LUDI
:BEARD took his INTRICATELY PAINTED METAL FIGURINES and went home, so
:everyone decided to play MAGIC: THE GATHERING instead until several of
:the PARENTS showed up with MINIVANS.
:
:On the plus side, Jaffo raised his Bozosity to 18/53 through non-magical
:means!
Stephen Will Tanner does this much better than you.
Jaffo
Tjames Madison
Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
: "I for one sure know from Jaffo's postings that he isn't
: on this list to buss anyone's butt, least of all mine."
: -- E. Gary Gygax
And then he turned into a BALROG, and killed the PURPLE WORM with the
IVORY STAFF!
Fortunately, Jaffo had hollowed out the corpse of an ORC while this was
going on, so he was able to hide inside it and still escape with the EYE
OF ODUN!
It was at this point that the guy with the BOWLER and the MAGISTER LUDI
BEARD took his INTRICATELY PAINTED METAL FIGURINES and went home, so
everyone decided to play MAGIC: THE GATHERING instead until several of
the PARENTS showed up with MINIVANS.
On the plus side, Jaffo raised his Bozosity to 18/53 through non-magical
means!
--
RoR-Alucard | http://www.pigdog.org
~worship no false kibos~
Tjames Madison
Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
: Stephen Will Tanner does this much better than you.
*sniff* I'm Sam Yorty in a Wally George world!
Hey, when did we become enemies again? If I can find someone to film it,
would you mind wearing a striped shirt and a beret while trying to beat me
senseless with a bacquette? I'll be the one wearing the studded
pantaloons and the "SUPER WATSON ANAME POWER" belt buckle and Tool Kit
(tm), okay? We can pretend it's winter, in a meadow; we'll build a
snowman!
Tlerll
In article <347E93...@detoronics.net>,
Roy Hall <yan...@detoronics.net> wrote:
>Hi, just joined the group. Looking for a Kibology FAQ, any help?? Anyone
>just wanna tell me what this is all about,
The newbie stood in a large, black room. He couldn't see how large it was;
nor anything else. "Where am I?" Shouted the newbie, his anguished voice
echoing greatly in the black expanse. His words echoed over many times, before
suddenly becoming the words 'beable peanus doidy'. Then, suddenly, it became
the word 'hitler' and then there came a great "BOOM" as it exploded.
Then silence.
The newbie looked around, through the blackness, again, for a moment, pretending
beyond hope that he saw something. In anguish, again, he yelled, "IS THERE A
FAQ?" This time, it did not repeat his words, but immeadiately echoed into
'beable peanus doidy no yes FUKK CQQL, DQQD!! <BLINK> WEBTV"S SUCK! </BLINK>
kool table SEX SEX SEX I'm NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!1!', and then promptly
exploded with another 'hitler'.
The newbie began to ponder his situation. He paced about in the blackness, his
chin in his hand, for a few moments. Then, in desperation, he yelled: "BEABLE
PEANUS DOIDY!!!1!! DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY BEABLEBEABLEBEABLEBEABLEBEABLE
I'm NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!!1!!111!!!"
Then, as it echoed about the blackness, he noticed that there was, a dim,
growing light; and it seemed that it was coming from all directions. And as
the light grew, and encircled him, he saw the figures of men, and women; and
they were all clad in purest white robes, and they did not bear any pants.
And of all of them, there was one that seemed to be the greatest: He wore
upon his head a crown of Mentos, and on his face an Abe Lincoln beard.
Then they all got drunk and died. The end.
--
Lord Tlerll of alt.os.tlerll. WEBTV --> WEBTLAME. IT"S FUNNY CUZ THERE SO LAME
-------------------==== Posted via Bozo News ====-----------------------
http://www.bozonews.com/ Troll, Flame, Cascade to Usenet
Tjames Madison
Tlerll <ro...@tlerll.earthlink.net> wrote:
: Then they all got drunk and died. The end.
This story is a lot funnier when Stephen Will Tanner tells it.
Ben Weiner
ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) writes:
>In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 02:31:24 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
::And then he turned into a BALROG, and killed the PURPLE WORM with the
::IVORY STAFF!
::
::Fortunately, Jaffo had hollowed out the corpse of an ORC while this was
::going on, so he was able to hide inside it and still escape with the EYE
::OF ODUN!
::
::It was at this point that the guy with the BOWLER and the MAGISTER LUDI
::BEARD took his INTRICATELY PAINTED METAL FIGURINES and went home, so
::everyone decided to play MAGIC: THE GATHERING instead until several of
::the PARENTS showed up with MINIVANS.
::
::On the plus side, Jaffo raised his Bozosity to 18/53 through non-magical
::means!
:Stephen Will Tanner does this much better than you.
:Jaffo
But Tjames does THAT much better than you.
Stephen Will Tanner
Ben Weiner (bwe...@muon.rutgers.edu.remove.kremvax.su) wrote:
: ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) writes:
:
: :Stephen Will Tanner does this much better than you.
:
: :Jaffo
:
: But Tjames does THAT much better than you.
Oh yeah? Well, I do THIS better than ANYBODY!
Hey, wait, you don't have cu-seeme, do you?
Oops. I don't either, come to think of it.
--
Stephen Tanner (tan...@math.wisc.edu)
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 04:48:03 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
:Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
:
:: Stephen Will Tanner does this much better than you.
:
:*sniff* I'm Sam Yorty in a Wally George world!
Oops. I really wasn't trying to be cruel there. To tell you the truth, your
post triggered some weird paranoia reaction. I thought you were making fun of
me, so I retaliated. Now it appears you weren't making fun of me, so I made a
mistake.
:Hey, when did we become enemies again?
What? What do you mean AGAIN? When were we enemies? Christ, this is why I
don't hold grudges, I can't keep up with the fucking paperwork. Anyone on
this froup who thinks we are/were enemies, please send me email to confirm. I
have to update my PIM.
And to make sure my Love/Hate categories are working.
Besides, you haven't said two words to me in two years of posting. *pout*
:If I can find someone to film it,
:would you mind wearing a striped shirt and a beret while trying to beat me
:senseless with a bacquette?
Of course! What are friends for?
:I'll be the one wearing the studded
:pantaloons and the "SUPER WATSON ANAME POWER" belt buckle and Tool Kit
:(tm), okay?
PLEASE don't use that name in the same post with my name. You are tampering
with forces you cannot possibly comprehend.
:We can pretend it's winter, in a meadow; we'll build a
:snowman!
And pretend that he is Parson Brown!
Jaffo
--
"I for one sure know from Jaffo's postings that he isn't
on this list to buss anyone's butt, least of all mine."
-- E. Gary Gygax
http://rampages.onramp.net/~jaffo/
Tjames Madison
Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
: Oops. I really wasn't trying to be cruel there. To tell you the
: truth, your post triggered some weird paranoia reaction. I thought you
: were making fun of me, so I retaliated. Now it appears you weren't
: making fun of me, so I made a mistake.
You ASSumed. When you ASSume, you make an ASS out of U and STEPHEN WILL
TANNER.
This is all so silly, this crazy MEME or whatever you fukken EGGHEADS call
it, where some guy says "Boo!" and some other guy says "HAHAHA THAT WAS SO
DONE BETTER, AND BY SOME GUY WHO IS YOUNGER THAN YOUR PANTS!"
One day, Mr. Jaffo, there will be a dark alley, you, and some big-ass
clown shoes. Mark my words. You will not have time to prepare for this
thing.
: :Hey, when did we become enemies again?
: What? What do you mean AGAIN? When were we enemies? Christ, this is
: why I don't hold grudges, I can't keep up with the fucking paperwork.
: Anyone on this froup who thinks we are/were enemies, please send me
: email to confirm. I have to update my PIM.
Can't we *be* enemies? I haven't had a good enemy since Damick, and now
he sends me lovey dovey crap, sometimes. It is like when Mussolini tells
you he wants to be your sensual lover or sends you those little Whitman
samplers with the fake truffles.
I've looked around and I can't find anyone good to hate. I could hate Lee
Bumgarner, but that would be like hating Skittles. In fact, none of you
are worth hating except Lisa Pea, and she gets her hate express delivery.
: And to make sure my Love/Hate categories are working.
THE HATE CHART
Nick Bensema: Like hating vulcanized rubber. Not worth it.
Louis Nick: Like hating smurfs. Trite, not compelling hate.
Teg Pipes: Like hating free napkins at McDonald's. I don't understand it.
Darla: Like hating, well, someone named Darla.
Joseph Bay: Wants to be hated. Won't play along with his game.
Matt McIrvin: Like hating someone for ears. Better to study him,
understand his kind.
Kibo: Could work, would take a lot of effort. Can probably type faster
than me and knows the words to more songs.
"Jesse Garon": Been done. I also think he might be Canadian.
Tlerll: I don't know what this is.
Ben Weiner, Michael Straight, JayCJay, ETP: Like hating other guy in buddy
cop movie. Audience knows it's fake, and it's just condescending.
Stephen Will Tanner: Like hating the San Francisco 49ers or candy pagers.
Everyone else I didn't mention is at the Matt McIrvin Beach Party, hiding
from my gaze while they dance to the Shaggs. I will worry about them
later, but I'm Irish and I burn easily.
Jaffo, won't you be my SPECIAL FRIEND?
: Besides, you haven't said two words to me in two years of posting. *pout*
I haven't said two words to anyone, you KNOB. That's why I only get one
mention in Kibo's "Here Are The Cool Guys" Book of 1996. I just make my
little statements, my surreal arabesques, and *go*. I don't hang around
and keeping hitting the "follow-up" key going "That was funny Kibo,"
"Kibo, what does that mean?" "Kibo, what are we having for dinner?"
"Kibo, tell me more about WIlliam Shatner, please?" "Kibo, explain
gravity," "Kibo, my name is Nick, he'p me."
I am like Hudie Ledbetter, except wilier. Natural law can't touch me, and
my boots are made out of human skin. I clock rock-blockin' beats and I
got mad hits than Ben Vereen.
--
RoR-Alucard | http://www.pigdog.org
W E R I S T H I E R D E R B O S S ?
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 21:39:14 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
:This is all so silly, this crazy MEME or whatever you fukken EGGHEADS call
:it, where some guy says "Boo!" and some other guy says "HAHAHA THAT WAS SO
:DONE BETTER, AND BY SOME GUY WHO IS YOUNGER THAN YOUR PANTS!"
You know, this is how Gr*bor and Lewis got started.
:One day, Mr. Jaffo, there will be a dark alley, you, and some big-ass
:clown shoes. Mark my words. You will not have time to prepare for this
:thing.
I EAT BREAKFAST EVERY DAY 30 YARDS FROM 10,000 CLOWNS JUST WAITING TO KILL ME!
You want the truth? You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH,
YOU....YOU...BOZO!
:: :Hey, when did we become enemies again?
:
:: What? What do you mean AGAIN? When were we enemies? Christ, this is
:: why I don't hold grudges, I can't keep up with the fucking paperwork.
:: Anyone on this froup who thinks we are/were enemies, please send me
:: email to confirm. I have to update my PIM.
:
:Can't we *be* enemies? I haven't had a good enemy since Damick, and now
:he sends me lovey dovey crap, sometimes. It is like when Mussolini tells
:you he wants to be your sensual lover or sends you those little Whitman
:samplers with the fake truffles.
I haven't had a good enemy since Jay Brownlee in Lubbock. Bastard was my
co-sysop for a while, and later we were arguing and he nuked my BBS.
We can be enemies if you want, BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY PASSWORDS! I've
learned my lesson!
:I've looked around and I can't find anyone good to hate. I could hate Lee
:Bumgarner, but that would be like hating Skittles. In fact, none of you
:are worth hating except Lisa Pea, and she gets her hate express delivery.
Lisa Higgins is the screaming sex-ninja of hate.
:: And to make sure my Love/Hate categories are working.
:
:THE HATE CHART
:
:Nick Bensema: Like hating vulcanized rubber. Not worth it.
It would be like hating snoopy.
:Louis Nick: Like hating smurfs. Trite, not compelling hate.
I don't think it would be much fun to hate Louis Nick. Besides, I thought he
was dead.
:Teg Pipes: Like hating free napkins at McDonald's. I don't understand it.
A flame war between you and Teg Pipes would disrupt the magnetic field of the
Earth.
:"Jesse Garon": Been done. I also think he might be Canadian.
TIRED: Hating Jesse Garon.
WIRED: Hating Canada.
:Jaffo, won't you be my SPECIAL FRIEND?
The last person who said that to me was a retarded guy on a bus. He tried to
poke me in the stomach and make me giggle like the Pillsbury Dough-boy. And
no, I DIDN'T ENJOY IT! (Okay, maybe a little. *tee hee*)
:: Besides, you haven't said two words to me in two years of posting. *pout*
:
:I haven't said two words to anyone, you KNOB. That's why I only get one
:mention in Kibo's "Here Are The Cool Guys" Book of 1996.
Oh CRY ME A RIVER, Mister "I only got one mention!"
I didn't even get ONE mention! The only time the word "Jaffo" is listed in
the whole freaking book is when Maelstrom or somebody crossposted something to
my group!
:I just make my
:little statements, my surreal arabesques, and *go*. I don't hang around
:and keeping hitting the "follow-up" key going "That was funny Kibo,"
:"Kibo, what does that mean?" "Kibo, what are we having for dinner?"
:"Kibo, tell me more about WIlliam Shatner, please?" "Kibo, explain
:gravity," "Kibo, my name is Nick, he'p me."
TIRED: Licking Kibo's arse.
WIRED: Sucking up to Ted Mennie.
Maelstrom
bwe...@muon.rutgers.edu.remove.kremvax.su (Ben Weiner) wrote thus:
>ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) writes:
>>In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 02:31:24 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
>::Fortunately, Jaffo had hollowed out the corpse of an ORC while this was
>::going on, so he was able to hide inside it and still escape with the EYE
>::OF ODUN!
>
>:Stephen Will Tanner does this much better than you.
>
>But Tjames does THAT much better than you.
Yeah but Rone would've done THAT better than YOU!
--Maelstrom
"It was a simple question - What is "kibology". I don't understand
your answer, if that was an answer Eddie. I hope this isn't something
that I obviously should know about - how degrading."
Susan <Sus...@fix.net>
Maelstrom
tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) wrote thus:
>Tlerll <ro...@tlerll.earthlink.net> wrote:
>
>: Then they all got drunk and died. The end.
>
>This story is a lot funnier when Stephen Will Tanner tells it.
Jaffo beats memes into the ground a lot better than you do.
Tjames Madison
Maelstrom <mael...@deathsdoor.com> wrote:
: tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) wrote thus:
: >Tlerll <ro...@tlerll.earthlink.net> wrote:
: >
: >: Then they all got drunk and died. The end.
: >
: >This story is a lot funnier when Stephen Will Tanner tells it.
: Jaffo beats memes into the ground a lot better than you do.
I bet we could prove that with DejaNews.
42! IFYWIM, AITYD!
Joseph Michael Bay
tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) writes:
>: >This story is a lot funnier when Stephen Will Tanner tells it.
>: Jaffo beats memes into the ground a lot better than you do.
>I bet we could prove that with DejaNews.
>42! IFYWIM, AITYD!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I do that better than you, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
> W E R I S T H I E R D E R B O S S ?
I C H B I N A U T O M A T I S C H E P R A E S I D E N T ! ! ! 1
--
J. Michael Bay ( ) official business (x) bozo
Stanford University ( ) unofficial business (x) not a bozo
Medical School (x) other ( ) who, me?
"Urine is wonderful . . . I'm high on urine." -- Bruce Ames
Tjames Madison
Joseph Michael Bay <jm...@leland.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
: tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) writes:
: >42! IFYWIM, AITYD!
: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: I do that better than you, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
If you mean yelling things in all caps, yeah, I agree.
I actually used to try to compete with you, now that I think of it. I had
to stop when it started to hurt my brane too much.
Mmm, French Roast!
--
RoR-Alucard | http://www.pigdog.org
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on Sun, 30 Nov 1997 06:00:56 GMT, Maelstrom said:
:tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) wrote thus:
:
:>Tlerll <ro...@tlerll.earthlink.net> wrote:
:>
:>: Then they all got drunk and died. The end.
:>
:>This story is a lot funnier when Stephen Will Tanner tells it.
:
:Jaffo beats memes into the ground a lot better than you do.
I'm "beating a meme into the ground" RIGHT NOW!
Joseph Michael Bay
tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) writes:
>: >42! IFYWIM, AITYD!
>: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>: I do that better than you, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
>If you mean yelling things in all caps, yeah, I agree.
WHAT THE FUKK, MAN? I DON,T YELL IN ALL CAPS. !!!!!!!1
>I actually used to try to compete with you, now that I think of it. I had
>to stop when it started to hurt my brane too much.
That's what I feel like All The Time.
>Mmm, French Roast!
That too.
Michael Straight
On 29 Nov 1997, Tjames Madison wrote:
> This is all so silly, this crazy MEME or whatever you fukken EGGHEADS call
> it, where some guy says "Boo!" and some other guy says "HAHAHA THAT WAS SO
> DONE BETTER, AND BY SOME GUY WHO IS YOUNGER THAN YOUR PANTS!"
Lisa Higgins does that much better.
SMTIRCAHIAGEHLT
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 2 Dec 1997 01:39:23 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
:I do not know how she does this thing. I think I am scared of her. I
:think she is made out of nuclear stuff. I think she kidnapped the
:Lindburgh baby.
Rush Lindburgh had a baby? I didn't even know he was pregnant!
joseph richard koleszar
In article <348100fc...@news.m.iinet.net.au>,
Maelstrom <mael...@deathsdoor.com> wrote:
>Jaffo beats memes into the ground a lot better than you do.
Excuse me? Granted, I haven't "beaten a meme into the ground"
for quite some time (IYKWIM,AITYD), but...
--
Joseph Richard "Ralph" Koleszar | jkol...@copper.ucs.indiana.edu
For the love of God, don't take me seriously.
Tjames Madison
Michael Straight <stra...@email.unc.edu> wrote:
I am sending email via the sekrit homeless channel to tell you, Michael
Straight, that Lisa not only steals all me best lines and copies me all
the time, but that you are also correct when you say that she does it
better than me.
I do not know how she does this thing. I think I am scared of her. I
think she is made out of nuclear stuff. I think she kidnapped the
Lindburgh baby.
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison):
>I am sending email via the sekrit homeless channel to tell you, Michael
>Straight, that Lisa not only steals all me best lines and copies me all
>the time, but that you are also correct when you say that she does it
>better than me.
I do it too. I love doing it. I just did it and I'm ready
to do it again. It's the best thing going. It knows what's
what. It is king! It is dead! Long live it! Lisa may do
it better, but I could do it just as good if she helped
and stopped mailing me exploding Lou Reed songs.
I *like* Lou Reed.
>I do not know how she does this thing. I think I am scared of her. I
>think she is made out of nuclear stuff. I think she kidnapped the
>Lindburgh baby.
There are one or two pees in Lindburgh baby. THIS IS PENIS
FETISH.
I think that should be the new alt.religion.kibology tagline.
It's still "He's Fred, Jim" on my server. I think we should
create a system where people with "ops" get to set the title
of the newsgroup, and kick out people like Dan "Fire" Sale
with a smug "You are kicked out" line and everybody knows
your pseudonym, and they're always glad you came.
If you know what I mean.
> W E R I S T H I E R D E R B O S S ?
Tony Danza. Sam is too short to be the boss.
Speaking of which, two days ago I was in the Stanford
bookstore, and they have a stand filled with nothing but
books about Spot! It turns out Spot's dad is named Sam!
It's true! Does this mean that the lovely Miss Wilkenson
is no longer allowed to post to ark? Huh? Does it?
How about Lou Reed?
Satellites Gone Way Up To Mars,
Joel Hodgeson (Sleepy)
P.S. Oh what a perfect day. I'm glad I spent it with you.
--
Alex Suter
"Do you want to know more?"
http://www-cs-students.stanford.edu/~asuter/
Stephen Will Tanner
Lupus Yonderboy (asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU) wrote:
: with a smug "You are kicked out" line and everybody knows
: your pseudonym, and they're always glad you came.
USENET: Where the customer comes first. And then rolls over
and has a cigarette.
Yours in tastelessness,
--
Stephen Tanner (tan...@math.wisc.edu)
Nick S Bensema
In article <vT0g00Uc...@fis.unico.it>, fB <im...@fis.unico.it> wrote:
>
>Does anybody knows any song about masturbation, or knows somebody who
>does?
I thought there was one in the soundtrack to Hair Spray. I knew this
couldn't be true, but I kept listening and I seemed to hear the word
"masturbator" in the chorus. Sure enough, at the end of the song the
name was revealed to be "mashed potato". Duh.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> 98-KUPD Red Card #710563 UIN: 2135445
~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prepare ship for ludicruos speed!
http://www.climatefacts.org/ - Everyone but the bad boys have to behave.
Leah Verre
Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote in article
<3483c95e...@news.onramp.net>...
> In alt.religion.kibology, on Sun, 30 Nov 1997 06:00:56 GMT, Maelstrom
said:
>
> :tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) wrote thus:
> :
> :>Tlerll <ro...@tlerll.earthlink.net> wrote:
> :>
> :>: Then they all got drunk and died. The end.
> :>
> :>This story is a lot funnier when Stephen Will Tanner tells it.
> :
> :Jaffo beats memes into the ground a lot better than you do.
>
> I'm "beating a meme into the ground" RIGHT NOW!
>
> Jaffo
So much BEATING MEMES it's ALL OVER YOUR WEB TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crisis king
In article <348291e5...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
>In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 02:31:24 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
>:means!
Of course it was non-magical. He simply intensified the bozon flow by
using a Heisenberg compensator and speaking in theatrical stutters like
his hero, Michael Shatner!
>Stephen Will Tanner does this much better than you.
And Stephen Hawking explains bozon flows much better than me, too.
rone
--
A chip off the ol' shoulder. ro...@netcom.com
crisis king
In article <6604pk$4u$1...@Radon.Stanford.EDU>,
Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
>There are one or two pees in Lindburgh baby. THIS IS PENIS
>FETISH.
>I think that should be the new alt.religion.kibology tagline.
You can keep it for the alt.religion.kibology.orthodox freaks.
>It's still "He's Fred, Jim" on my server.
You need a real news admin! And so does Netcom, while i'm at it.
>> W E R I S T H I E R D E R B O S S ?
>Tony Danza. Sam is too short to be the boss.
Ms. Wilkinson's gonna kick you in the nuts for that one.
crisis king
root
In article <01bcff4e$25d85dc0$ee43facc@HE-HDNW01>,
BE,EATTBEATI,NGM MEMMM,S
BBEARTGIN.,, MEAMES
BBE,MMTMMTMMS,,,S,,S,S,,F
SDF,DSF,SD,G,DFH,,QWQ,E,ZDG,D
DS,FSDA,FGH,ARWQ,DR,FYTAWEAF
in ofer words yur not kuwl so
ca'nt w ejst get ablong.
Bruce Ediger
asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) wrote:
>Besides, the one time I kidded Sam about her height at the
>wedding all she did was say, "Hey!" in an affronted manner.
>Not to worry. Of course, Matt hid a lump of Uranium in my
>pocket that I didn't find until two weeks later.
All of all matters at her height at all, knows who those two weekS
later. She hides her height at that are gone, right?
--
Pulsing love-poles? Pulsing love-poles? The idea of someone wearing
Y-fronts and sporting a *pulsing love-pole* is enough to unseat a chap's
reason. - Roger Douglas
Bruce Ediger
mmci...@world.std.com (Matt McIrvin) wrote:
>I think that there need to be alt.religion.kibology theme bars in
>airport terminals. All the dishes would have names like "Lupus
>Yonderboy's Lox and Bagels" or "Karlo Takki's Ravioli." Also there would
>be creepy-looking automata in every location representing two lovable
>new characters similar but not actually identical to any of the beloved
>a.r.k gang: Harold Johnson, the Poetry-Loving Polymer Chemist, and
>Sherman "ZepToASDADF" Yates, the Wacky Raving LAN Systems Analyst. The
>atmosphere would be suffused with a warm glow of friendship, and the
>sounds of Harold and Zepto's popping and hissing compressed-air
>actuators. They could have witty yet folksy pre-recorded banter to mask
>out the nearby tape reciting, over and over, the words "The moving
>walkway is ending. Please watch your step," and the squeal of the metal
>detectors.
WE HAVE ALREADY PUBLISHED THE ALT. ALL "STAGE NAMES" THAT THE NEW MISC.
YOU AND OF CANNABIS FOR "RECREATIONAL" OR "KARLO TAKKI'S BRUCE. IT SHALL
HAVE YOUR SIM.
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake ro...@netcom.com (crisis king):
>Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
>>It's still "He's Fred, Jim" on my server.
>
>You need a real news admin! And so does Netcom, while i'm at it.
Farhad is doing just fine.
>>Tony Danza. Sam is too short to be the boss.
>
>Ms. Wilkinson's gonna kick you in the nuts for that one.
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Besides, the one time I kidded Sam about her height at the
wedding all she did was say, "Hey!" in an affronted manner.
Not to worry. Of course, Matt hid a lump of Uranium in my
pocket that I didn't find until two weeks later.
SQUEEZES!!!!!!!! =) =)
From TOXICAVENGERLUV!!!!!
P.S. I am not Joe Bay!
Matt McIrvin
Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
> everybody knows your pseudonym, and they're always glad you came.
I think that there need to be alt.religion.kibology theme bars in
airport terminals. All the dishes would have names like "Lupus
Yonderboy's Lox and Bagels" or "Karlo Takki's Ravioli." Also there would
be creepy-looking automata in every location representing two lovable
new characters similar but not actually identical to any of the beloved
a.r.k gang: Harold Johnson, the Poetry-Loving Polymer Chemist, and
Sherman "ZepToASDADF" Yates, the Wacky Raving LAN Systems Analyst. The
atmosphere would be suffused with a warm glow of friendship, and the
sounds of Harold and Zepto's popping and hissing compressed-air
actuators. They could have witty yet folksy pre-recorded banter to mask
out the nearby tape reciting, over and over, the words "The moving
walkway is ending. Please watch your step," and the squeal of the metal
detectors.
--
Font-o-Meter! Proportional Monospaced
^
Physics, humor, Stanislaw Lem reviews: http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
Karlo Takki
In article <1d0n4g7.15m...@ppp0a007.std.com>
mmci...@world.std.com (Matt McIrvin) writes:
> I think that there need to be alt.religion.kibology theme bars in
> airport terminals. All the dishes would have names like "Lupus
> Yonderboy's Lox and Bagels" or "Karlo Takki's Ravioli."
Curses. You used the your puny Earth science to spy on me while
I dined this evening. Yes, it was indeed ravioli, but DO YOU
KNOW what BRAND of ravioli my dear Dr. McIrvin? Hmmm? Or which
jar of SAUCE I chose? Was it the Caviliere Rusticano Pesto 'n'
Stuff or the Famiglia Gambino Traditional Non-Chunky Thin-As-Soup
Marinara?
This Hivemind shit is like waaaaaay outside my comfort zone.
--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank
Joseph Michael Bay
bed...@csn.net (Bruce Ediger) writes:
>WE HAVE ALREADY PUBLISHED THE ALT. ALL "STAGE NAMES" THAT THE NEW MISC.
>YOU AND OF CANNABIS FOR "RECREATIONAL" OR "KARLO TAKKI'S BRUCE. IT SHALL
>HAVE YOUR SIM.
Note to Ben:
Please have someone check out the Bruce Ediger simulator. For some reason
he sounds like MegaHal's impression of Gr*b*r. Also watch out for the Turing
Registry agent at the Denver Airport. He's a guy dressed as a cleaning
lady and will probably try to kill your agent in the bathroom.
End of line.--
Joseph Michael Bay
kta...@artcrime.com (Karlo Takki) writes:
>jar of SAUCE I chose? Was it the Caviliere Rusticano Pesto 'n'
>Stuff or the Famiglia Gambino Traditional Non-Chunky Thin-As-Soup
>Marinara?
Mama Paglia's. Other sauces are thin and watery and should go to Hell.
Dean Lenort
asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) wrote:
>I think that should be the new alt.religion.kibology tagline.
>It's still "He's Fred, Jim" on my server. I think we should
>create a system where people with "ops" get to set the title
>of the newsgroup, and kick out people like Dan "Fire" Sale
>with a smug "You are kicked out" line and everybody knows
>your pseudonym, and they're always glad you came.
>
>If you know what I mean.
This HIVEMIND thing has finally kicked in for me. Oh sure, the salesmen said it took
a while for the full effects of the installation to kick in (2 to 3 weeks), but I was
starting to suspect I'd been had like the time I bought into that parternship dealing
used Yugos.
What are the odds that the first time I mention Dan "Mr. Adjective" Sale in a post on
this group that his name would pop up in someone else's post at the same time? Okay,
maybe the odds were roughly even, but won't you let me think that this 3/4 inch steel
plate in my skull is doing something besides setting off every alarm airport security
has? Won't you let me live? Please, won't you let me live!!!
Michele Tepper
Oh, my goodness! Tjames goes from being homeless to being a PIRATE!
Where does the madness end?
--
Michele Tepper "I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about,
mte...@panix.com but by God I can parse the fuck out of it."
-- Maggie Newman
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake lis...@dim.com:
>Yes. On today's episode of One Hivelife to Live, we find Lisa Pea
>amidst a mountain of discarded falderal, paralyzed by fear and
>inanity. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I love Lisa Pea!
I know I'm alone in this feeling, so that's why I proclaim
it in public like that. I like to take a stand against
what everyone else believes which is why I work for the
government and think the Spice Girls look kind of slutty.
Guess where I am? I'm calling from the plane. I'll call
you when I get there.
Sincerely,
John Flansburg
Lisa Rea
So then, mte...@panix.com (Michele Tepper) is all like:
>Oh, my goodness! Tjames goes from being homeless to being a PIRATE!
>Where does the madness end?
The madness ends in Broomfield, Colorado, a suburb of Denver or
Boulder, depending on how you look at it. Five miles from the complex.
On a little green Adirondack bench.
Yes. On today's episode of One Hivelife to Live, we find Lisa Pea
amidst a mountain of discarded falderal, paralyzed by fear and
inanity. On the brink of madness. On the brink of suburbia. Don't move
a muscle, baby. Don't even flinch. You can miss me by a mile or just
inch by inch.
Don't look at the arc welder. Don't stare directly into the viscera of
day to day life that the Arc Welder pulls from the cavities of her
cabinets and crawlspaces. So as the Arc Welder runs across the hall
from the shower to the bedroom, avert your eyes. She was too tired and
too forgetful to cover her banality. If you insist on staring, you'll
only see empty spice jars wrapped in newspaper and scraps of fabric
that will always be just that: scraps of fabric.
Lisa Pea, weakened and defenseless after a gut-clenching Las Vegas
injection, finds herself sucked out of the small and tenuous
righteousness of the city and into the morass of the barbecue cults
and wood-paneled dens of suburbia.
The jumble of Gallagher with his head in his hands in a diner on the
last day of Comdex, as though he'd awakened to the realization:" I am
Gallagher", of the taunting zenmaster laughing "Are you having a
TRAUMA or something?", of the buzzing of Las Vegas coming like the
killer bees. "Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the Las
Vegas cell. Las Vegas: Do not buy! It means 'Does not go!'" There is
no tenacity, no resistance on that downtown street with the
ill-defined pixellated wars that play every to a crowd of bitter
castoffs who drain out of the doorways with the puke-stained carpets
and the dingy-dingy bells. And the gentrification. The gentrification
after the cab ride with the little Italian man who says about the
zenmaster, "He's not such a bad guy. Just tell him to stop making so
much money." They've sucked out the sky to create a city of
subterranean pathologies that lick at your heels like so many
beautiful young fetishists smelling of sweat and lemon zest.
So, three nights in a row, forgetting my glasses, I squint at the same
fuzzy, fleshy lounge singer humping his mike stand to Cole Porter and
Kurt Weil, and I wear the sweatshirt that says "I Am Not A Prostitute"
and think: This is not the Motor City. This is not the Motor City.
You can grind me under your heel like an inattentive Gian now because:
Las Vegas. It is coming like a freight train. It is coming like Easter
lilies. It is coming like plate tectonics. It is coming, then it is
rolling over, leaving me alone and cold and tiny in this vacuum, and
the only place left to go is the den with the bar and the fireplace in
Broomfield, Colorado.
If I ever get done packing.
---
Lisa Pea: One Step Ahead of the Law
Two Steps Ahead of Vic Damone!
Matt McIrvin
Lisa Rea <lis...@dim.com> wrote:
> The madness ends in Broomfield, Colorado, a suburb of Denver or
> Boulder, depending on how you look at it. Five miles from the complex.
> On a little green Adirondack bench.
All the tornadoes go to Broomfield. The cloud rumbles and flashes over
Boulder and dumps hail all over the place, and then it sets to fixin to
whip up a tornado, and the tornado gets all good and whirly right about
around Broomfield and then the cloud lets it drop.
Lots of things make sense now.
In other news, I would like to say to Brian D Chase that, as a person
who is now a professional C programmer of sorts, I do not think that in
the middle of a job interview, I would be able to whip up a C sort
routine that would compile and run correctly right off the blackboard,
if my life depended on it. The closest thing to this that actually
happened to me was the interview which I blew by failing to spot that a
divide followed by a pointer dereference turns into a comment delimiter.
Apparently the ability to do this was the skill they were looking for.
(Actually, more likely this clued them in that I was seven years out of
daily practice, and would have to spend three or four whole days as dead
weight, re-learning this stuff.)
Many CS graduates will now tell me that I have no business writing code
because what if you commented out a whole routine by mistake and a mad
dictator made you install the code in a nucular reactor without testing
it at all and somebody DIED?????
Etienne Rouette
Don't you know that's REALLY what happened in Three Mile Island?
E. Rouette
Lisa Rea
So then, asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) is all like:
>I love Lisa Pea!
>I know I'm alone in this feeling, so that's why I proclaim
>it in public like that. I like to take a stand against
>what everyone else believes which is why I work for the
>government and think the Spice Girls look kind of slutty.
You are alone in this feeling. I am ashamed to say it. I really am. I
had to hire PROSTITUTES to help me move.
I would be concerned, I just realized, that Kibo would be unable to
mail me any 'prizes' due to this whole change of address thing,
but--how shall I say...-- ( | ) , if you are picking up what I am
putting down.
>Guess where I am? I'm calling from the plane. I'll call
>you when I get there.
YAY! I knew you would come!
You are my only friend, Yonderboy.
Also, will you buy me some beer if I give you the money?
---
Lisa Pea: One Step Ahead of the Law
Two Steps Ahead of Vic Damone!
Roger Douglas
So Etienne Rouette <etienne...@sympatico.ca> turns round and goes:
>Matt McIrvin wrote:
>>
....
>> Many CS graduates will now tell me that I have no business writing code
>> because what if you commented out a whole routine by mistake and a mad
>> dictator made you install the code in a nucular reactor without testing
>> it at all and somebody DIED?????
>>
>
>Don't you know that's REALLY what happened in Three Mile Island?
>
Except, for "a mad dictator" substitute "Homer Simpson".
--R.
Tlerll
In article <65q222$9e2$3...@nntp1.ba.best.com>,
Tjames Madison <tja...@pigdog.org> wrote:
>Tlerll: I don't know what this is.
Vell.....You shall know soon enahff, yes....soon zey shall ALL know!
BWA HA HA HA HAH AHHAHAHAHAHAH HAH HAAHHAAHAH HAHAHA HHAH HAHA HA HAH!!!!
PROJECT: TLERLL. STATUS: CLASSIFIED. SECURITY LEVEL 51 REQUIRED TO ACCESS.
(i.e. you have to talk like Captain Picard and say "Alpha Two".)
Ben Weiner
Etienne Rouette <etienne...@sympatico.ca> writes:
>Matt McIrvin wrote:
>> In other news, I would like to say to Brian D Chase that, as a person
>> who is now a professional C programmer of sorts, I do not think that in
>> the middle of a job interview, I would be able to whip up a C sort
>> routine that would compile and run correctly right off the blackboard,
>> if my life depended on it. The closest thing to this that actually
>> happened to me was the interview which I blew by failing to spot that a
>> divide followed by a pointer dereference turns into a comment delimiter.
>> Apparently the ability to do this was the skill they were looking for.
Two words: "bubble sort."
(You didn't say it had to be a GOOD sort routine.)
I once had an interview where I got asked to explain the
difference between call by reference and call by value.
Which actually is a legitimate question, unless you only
ever program in FORTRAN. (Yeah FORTRAN!) Fortunately,
through some stroke of luck, I actually did know the
difference. I didn't get the job anyway.
It beats the interview at the Institute for Scientific
Information (which makes citation indexes, and "Current
Contents") where a personnel drone asked me what one
adjective I'd use to describe myself. I nearly said
"desperate" but instead I dodged the question (guess
I should have said "shifty") and I didn't get that job
either, which means that I am Officially Unqualified
to produce Scientific Information! Yay!!!
>> Many CS graduates will now tell me that I have no business writing code
>> because what if you commented out a whole routine by mistake and a mad
>> dictator made you install the code in a nucular reactor without testing
>> it at all and somebody DIED?????
>Don't you know that's REALLY what happened in Three Mile Island?
No, silly! Everybody knows what happened was a computer
programmer stayed up too late at night and while he was
trying to figure out an assigned GOTO and why his
peanut-butter and cheese bar module kept crashing (he was
trying to spread the peanut butter flavored cracker onto
the cheese, rather than the other way around) he knocked
over a V-8 juice can which reversed the polarity, shorting
out the console and causing a short circuit with the ramens
cooking in the office coffee pot which released toxic fumes
that overpowered the crew! If only the wacky robot android
had been on duty!
This is why when they made a TV movie about the Three Mile
Island accident starring Jane Curtin and Gene Roddenberry,
they called it "The China Syndrome," because everyone knows
hackers like Chinese food!
Hope This Helps!
--
The typical Real Programmer lives in front of a computer terminal. Surrounding
this terminal are: ... Some half-dozen or so partly filled cups of cold coffee.
Occasionally, there will be cigarette butts floating in the coffee. ... Taped
to the wall is a line-printer Snoopy calendar for the year 1969. -- Ed Post
Eddie Saxe
In article <1d0rf1t.bzk...@ppp0a014.std.com>,
Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>In other news, I would like to say to Brian D Chase that, as a person
>who is now a professional C programmer of sorts, I do not think that in
>the middle of a job interview, I would be able to whip up a C sort
>routine that would compile and run correctly right off the blackboard,
>if my life depended on it.
How To Write a One-line Sort Routine in C:
qsort(list, sizeof(list)/sizeof(ElemType), sizeof(ElemType), comparFunc);
You owe the Oracle a copy of K&R.
Eddie
--
This end towards enemy
Maelstrom
December 2, 1997. Rone's killfile becomes sentient and writes:
> In article <3480eecc...@news.m.iinet.net.au>,
> Maelstrom <mael...@deathsdoor.com> wrote:
>
> >Yeah but Rone would've done THAT better than YOU!
>
> Dude, just what exactly _is_ your problem?
My problem is that you don't make feel sexy anymore. At first it was all dreamy
and kissy and I was your only one but now you're cold and distant and it's like
I don't even know you. We were going to the top once but now you can't even get
it up without being drunk. You're never at home anymore you just want to be
with your "Usenet2" friends and wank to your nancy-pancy ideologies on what used
to be but it never was it was all in your fucking mind because I loved you and
you loved me and that used to be enough for you. Now you sit around watching
Oprah and yell for your beer and you scream at me if I don't make it to the
right temperature but I can not do these things that you think are cool now.
And I know that you're calling my name but you're really thinking about Ginger
Spice. And now you go posting shit like this and pretending you don't even
know me. I don't think it's being clever after all, I think you're just ashamed
to be with me!
--Maelstrom
caustic liturgy
In article <1997120817...@bajoran.upnaway.com>,
I'm not "with" you. If you know what i mean.
rone
"i've got a brown ribbon. do you know what it means?"
fB
On 2 Dec 1997 05:02:44 GMT,
in alt.religion.kibology, asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) wrote:
(people discussing how Lisa does it better)
:I *like* Lou Reed.
and then...
:P.S. Oh what a perfect day. I'm glad I spent it with you.
Lisa says on a night like this,
It'll be so nice if you'd give me a kiss.
And Lisa says for just one little smile,
I'll sit next to you for a little while.
Lisa says, Lisa says, Lisa says, Lisa says
Lisa says that you must be some kind of fool,
The way you treat everybody so cruel,
And Lisa says you must be a funny kind of guy,
The way you're always staring at the sky.
Kiss me goodbye for a while, people. I don't know just where I'm going,
but I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can.
--
fB "Lou changed the lyrics for this one about
a gazillion times; these were from the 1969 album"
Maelstrom
In article <roneEKw...@netcom.com>,
IT IS NOT OBVIOUSLY ORGANIC, IT EXISTS AS A RIBBON OF SILK, BUT AS TRUSTY
AND STRONG AS SIX HUMANS?
ps. I am not MegaHAL
--Maelstrom