Cats Bloody Cats

[Swag]

I realize this is a little off the original topic, but recent additions
here have begun to focus on the ability of writers to edit their
material, so I feel I've got a little more leeway....

One of my sicker friends decided to test the old axiom that "cats always
land on their feet" when he was in high school, so he took the family cat
up to their second floor balcony, and then held it upside down by its
feet and threw it at the ground. The cat did not, in fact, land on its
feet, suggesting that the old axiom is clearly incorrect, or that it
needs some auxiliary hypotheses or weakened assumptions to account more
fully for social reality.

In any event, the cat landed on its back or something, and when Steve
(maybe or maybe not his real name, but who cares?) picked it up, it
sneezed up some blood. Steve maintains that the cat was okay after that
time, but I assume that it gave Steve as wide a berth as I began to when
I heard the story.

In case that's not really tasteless, this same friend freeballed one day
much as (dj...@cornell.edu)'s buddy did, and was forced to wear his denim
jeans while running the 440 meter in his gym class. As his tended
member's tip rubbed up against the stimulating, if abrasive, zipper of
his Jordaches (this was, after all, 1982), it began to ooze pus and
blood. Steve then was forced to pick at his scab in order to relieve his
exploding bladder every morning, noon, and night for the next week.

Chips and dip, anyone?