Epsiode Capsule - 2ACV15 - My Problem With Popplers
Ostap Bender
more fre time. So here are two more. As always, post your
updates/corrections.
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My Problem With Popplers Teleplay by Patric M. Verrone
Story by Darin Henry & Patric M.
Verrone
Directed by Chris Sauve & Gregg
Vanzo
==============================================================================
Production code: 2ACV15 Original Airdate on FOX:
5/7/2000
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TV Guide synopsis:
Earth's most popular new food is discovered and marketed by the crew
— until
one of the snacks speaks to Leela.
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Opening theme promotion:
FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY
Opening theme cartoon:
==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
... A picture of Fry and Nibbler on the bulletin board?
... A ladies' room sign on Lurr's apron?
Daniel L. Dreibelbis
... the laptop Hermes was using was an Apple iBook? (does that mean
that
Steve Jobs is still running Apple as a head in a jar?)
Joe Klemm
.... Fishy Joe's price for Popplers is $1.99, $.01 off the planned
price for
them?
.... this is the first episode where Fry and Leela's first names are
mentioned?
.... Kiff tracks down Zapp's schedule on an Etch-A-Sketch?
Haynes Lee
... Leela's wrist gadget sounds like a motorboat?
... Kif using an Etch-a-Sketch(r) as an organizer?
... Orangutan picking lice out of hippy's hair? (ewww!)
... Baby Poppler giggles like Pillsbury Doughboy?
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Billy West (Fry, Dr. Zoidberg, Prof. Farnsworth)
- Katey Sagal (Leela)
- John DiMaggio (Bender, Madison Cube Garden announcer, "You sucK"
from
the audience)
- Tress MacNeille (Linda, Ndunda, Jurr)
- Guest Starring
- Phil Lamarr (Hermes Conrad)
- Lauren Tom (Amy Wong)
- Special appearance by
- Phil Hendrie (Free Waterfall Jr.)
- Also Starring
- Maurice LaMarche (Lurr?)
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ U-HAUL (Truck rental and moving services)
- U-YANK is a reference to that, up to the way the trailer is
colored.
+ Sara-Lee Pies
- Molten Boron jingle {JK}
+ Gene Roddenberry (creator of Star Trek)
- Roddenberries {JK}
+ Dateline NBC
- Datenight {JK}
+ STAR TREK
- The Trouble With Tribbles: classic Star Trek: TOS episode {HL}
- Roddenberries named after creator Gene Roddenberry {HL}
- class M planet term used {HL}
+ Adolf Hitler
- Bender's "Heil to the Chef" apron {HL}
+ McDonalds
- McPluto mentioned, number sign {HL}
+ Popeye the Sailor Man
- Similar theme music {HL}
+ Nannycam
- British nanny accused of killing toddler {HL}
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- Omicronians reappear
- [1ACV12]
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
Bender's apron:
HEIL
TO THE
CHEF
The trailer Planet Express ship hauls
U-YANK
Billboard Leela crashes into
FISHY JOE'S
OVER
3.8x10^10
POPPLERS
SERVED
The signs protesters carry:
STOPP EATING POPPLERS
BEFORE IS ARE
YOU POPP MURDER PEOPLERS
TOO
The protesters' brochure
M.E.A.T.
(A picture of
a man pushing
a pig on a swing)
Sign outside DOOP
DEMOCRATIC ORDER
OF PLANETS
UNITED AGAINST (crossed out, replaced with WELCOMES) THE
OMICRONIAN MENACE
Inside, the sign above negotion room
SECRET
CONFERENCE
ROOM
At Madison Cube Garden:
MADISON CUBE GARDEN
SLURM CONCERT SERIES PRESENTS:
An EVENING WITH A
HUMAN-EATING MONSTER
(Picture of (Picture of
Lurr in a Leela
ravenous backing up
advance) in terror)
The walrus juice
NEW!
EXTREME
(picture WALRUS
of a JUICE
surfer
on a RIDE THE
walrus) WALRUS!
==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
Don Del Grande
Just one thing from "The Problem with Popplers":
Leela sucks each of her fingers just once, yet the sound was of five
fingers.
Jeremy Dennis
She licks her thumb twice. I played it in slomo.
Joe Klemm
The salt on the Leela ape disappears when the alien king tries to eat
it.
Rev. Matt Keeley
Actually, you can see the salt fall off the ape when the Omicronian
puts it
in his mouth.
Seraphim
One other thing: according to Kip, 198 billion Omicronian young'uns
were
eaten. Since Fry & Co. were getting a kickback of a dollar per dozen,
that
would make them billionaires. So where'd all the money go?
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
Daniel L. Dreibelbis
META HUMOUR REFERENCE - when they drive the ship through the
jumbotron billboard and Fry mentions to Leela "that's the second time
you did that this week" (referring, of course, to the show's intro)
Adam Foster
'Toronga' appears to be the name of a zoo in Australia. According to
Google, anyway. I bet Leela will get enough orangutan jibes already.
Do people realise what mountain oysters are? Eww...
Sight of Bender painting a spacecraft reminiscent of the intro to Red
Dwarf. Sort of.
Intelligent dolphins? They are, after all, the second most
intelligent
creatures on Earth (humans are third). It didn't look like a very
large
dolphin, anyway. That makes it even worse - the dolphin equivalent of
veal?
The juvenile Omicronian, Jurr (sp?) appears to be male, or at least
the
Omicronian equivalent. He has three horns on his head, like Lurr
(sp?). What appears to be a female Omicronian doesn't have any horns
on
her head.
And now to affirm my true nerdiness - to calculate the approximate
number
of trips required by the Planet Express delivery ship to deliver 198
billion Popplers. Anyway, enough chit-chat. Restrain the specimen!
Approximate (very, very approximate) usable volume of ship
= 25 x 25 x 50ft
= 175m^3 (Yes, I do stuff in SI)
Approximate volume of a Poppler
= 1in^3
= 0.000016m^3
Number of Popplers in one fully laden delivery ship
= 10 900 000 (Quite a few, really)
Number of trips required
= A suffusion of yellow.
Hang on - that's not right. Try another calculator...
= 17600 trips
I can see why they hired that U-Yank trailer... :-)
Larry F
Here's another obscure reference that I haven't seen mentioned:
Bender calls Zoidberg "Sigmund". Unless it turns out that his first
name really is Sigmund, I think that's a reference to "Sigmund and
the
Sea Monster".
It was a short lived kids show about a friendly sea monster named
Sigmund who befriends a couple of kids. The kids have to protect him
from both grown-ups and the rest of the sea monsters who are very
unfriendly.
For more info:
http://www.livingisland.com/shows/sigmund/desc.html
Fen Phen
I believe Sigmund refers to Sigmund Freud, but I don't remember the
context
of Bender's conversation with Zoidberg.
Haynes Lee
FOLKLORE ALERT:
True
- U.S. health inspectors allow a certain amount of
rodent droppings and hair in our foodstuffs.
False
- Rat urine is toxic to humans.
http://www.snopes.com/toxins/raturine.htm
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary
==============================================================================
% The episode begins with a "commercial"
% Fry, Bender and Leela as heroes in an oval.
Man: Futurama is brought to you by... Molten Boron!
% Change to a still picture of smiling woman in protecting goggles and
gloves
% tilting a barrel filled with red hot stuff and labeled "MOLTEN
BORON".
Woman: Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron.
% Regular intro.
%
% Planet Express ship flies away from a brown planet covered in green
fumes.
% Inside the ship.
Fry: I hate the planet of the moochers. They take you out for a
drink,
but when the check comes Their wallet's always in their
other pants.
Which they borrowed from me.
% Bender walks up to the lower deck.
Leela: Dinner ready?
Bender: Those lousy moochers cleaned out our pantry. All they left
was
baking soda and capers. And here it is.
Fry: Ew!
Leela: Ew! Great. We're two days from earth with no food.
Bender: Problem solved. You two fight to the death And I'll cook the
loser.
[To Leela] Work his gut. I like it tender.
Fry: Maybe that planet over there has a drive-thru. A Burger Jerk
or a
Fishy Joe's or a Chizzler or something.
Bender: Don't get your hopes up. We're a billion miles from nowhere.
Leela: Yeah, it's probably only got a Howard Johnson's.
% The ship lands on the planet.
Leela: Well, It's a type-M planet. So it should at least have
roddenberries.
Fry: I'm experienced at foraging. I used to find edible mushrooms
on my
bath mat.
Bender: I found some rocks. You guys eat rocks, right?
Leela: No.
Bender: Not even if they're sauteed in a little mud?
Fry: Here's something. It looks like a ditch full of fried
shrimp.
Bender: What are you? blind? It looks more like a hole full of fried
prawns.
% Leela take one and puts it under her wrist gizmo. Humming is heard.
Leela: Hmm, this thing I wear on my wrist says they're not
poisonous. [Eats
it]
Fry: Well, how are they?
% Leela changes in the face, dives for more and starts chomping them
non-stop,
% mumbling with delight. Fry takes one.
Fry: Oh, they're great. They're like sex, except I'm having them.
Bender: [Sniffs one] You know what these would go great with? Rocks.
Fry: Look, here's more.
Bender: The planet's covered with them.
Fry: Let's bring back a couple of pocketfuls.
Bender: No, a whole bender-ful.
Leela: No, only what we need. Stuff the ship.
% Later, the ship comes back to Earth and lands at Planet Express.
Hermes: Planet express ship, you are cleared to land.
Leela: [With her mouth full and still eating] Roger.
% Later, in the kitchen.
Hermes: Oh, man, I'm inhaling these things. You guys scored some
primo stuff
here.
Zoidberg: [Gorges them] They're tastier than an unguarded penguin
nest. What
do you call them?
Leela: We haven't thought of a name yet.
Bender: They're tasty, right? Let's call them tasticles.
% Everyone groans in disgust.
Leela: We can't call them that.
Bender: Why not?
Leela: It sounds too much like those frozen rocky mountain oysters
on a
stick. You know, testsicles.
Hermes: According to government records the only names not yet
trademarked
are popplers and zitsels.
Fry: I know - we'll call them popplers. [Everyone agrees]
Amy: You picked it.
Fry: Swish.
Zoidberg: [Eating] Call them what you want. I call them a free meal.
[Eating]
Bender: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, Sigmund. I can't stand
idly by
while poor people get free food. We got to sell these
things.
Fry: Hey, yeah!
Leela: Good idea.
Bender: Bender's a genius!
% On the street. They've set up a stand and sell popplers.
Fry: Hey, business is great.
Bender: Great is okay, but amazing would be great.
% On the other side of the street.
Man: Please, don't push. There's hot dogs for everyone.
% Bender growls and crosses teh street.
Bender: Hey, mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?
% People groan in disgust and cross over to get some popplers.
Man: Wait a minute. You're the not the guy who delivers the rat
droppings. [Bender laughs fiendishly]
% A man walks to the poppler stand.
Man: What are you selling? Popplers? Never hoid of 'em.
Bender: Eat it or beat it.
Man: Mmm, mmm. These are great. Boys, this is your lucky day. I'm
Joe
Gilman. [Points to the Fishy Joe's sign]
Fry: Wow. You're some guy who eats at Fishy Joe's?
Joe: Hell, no. I AM Fishy Joe. I've got a fast-food franchise on
every
planet in the known universe, Except McPluto.
Bender: Hey, Fishy, I've been meaning to write you about your
in-store kiddy
parks. The slides won't support an adult robot.
Joe: Good point. Not interested. But these popplers - these are
great.
How much do you sell them for?
Fry: A dollar a dozen.
Joe: You'll never make money that way. You supply them to me and
I'll
sell them for two bucks a dozen at my restaurants. I'll even
pay you
a dollar a dozen.
Bender: Yes! I'm going to be rich! You, too, but it's hard to get
excited
about that.
Fry: How do we sign?
% An upbeat tune plays. A counter is installed at Fishy Joe's showing
%
% OVER
% 1
% POPPLERS SERVED
Fry&Bender: [Singing] Pop a poppler in your mouth when you come to
Fishy Joe's.
What they're made of is a mystery Where they come from, no
one
knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, you can chew 'em,
you can
stick 'em, if you promise not to sue us you can shove one up
your
nose.
% While they are singing. Several scenes change. Planet Express ship
flies to
% get more popplers. Bender crosses "Planet" on the side cahing it to
% "Poppler". Cut to Fry and Bender recodring the song. Cut to the
counter
% getting to over one million popplers served. Cut to "TUBE-THROUGH
WINDOW"
% selling Popplers. The line moves quick till it gets to Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: I can't pay. [The line grumbles]
% Finally, the Planet Express ship, returning with the new batch of
popplers
% carshes into a billboard.
Fry: Leela, that's the second billboard you crashed into this
week.
Leela: Sorry. I was distracted by those protesters outside our
building.
% A large group of protesters at Planet Express, making a lot of
noise.
Prof.: Hey, unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my
property.
Waterfall: You can't OWN property, man.
Prof.: I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie.
Leela: What do you people want?
Waterfall: We're with Mankind for Ethical Animal Treatment. Popplers
are
living creatures. You've got to stop harvesting them for
food.
Bender: Or what?
Waterfall: Heh, or we'll boycott Fishy Joe's.
Leela: You're vegetarians. Who cares what you do?
Waterfall: Uh... Shut up!
Leela: Animals eat other animals. It's nature.
Waterfall: No, it isn't. We taught a lion to eat tofu.
% Pan to a sick-looking, malnourished lion, coughing every couple of
second.
Waterfall: The point is, you shouldn't eat things that feel pain. [A
brick
hits him on the head] Umh!
Bender: Okay, we won't eat you.
Leela: I'll go get some more bricks. [Goes inside] Fry, I wish
you'd throw
out these week-old popplers. They're getting big and scaly.
Ooh,
there's one left.
Poppler: [Unfolds, revealing an eyes and a mouth] Mama.
% Leela gasps and tosses it away. It lands in a package of honey
mustard sauce
% and starts swimming it it, giggling happily. Leela covers her moth
with her
% palms. Then she licks her fingers.
% [End of Act One. Act Time: Running Time:]
% Leela rushes into the room, where everyone is eating popplers.
Leela: Stop! Stop eating popplers. [Slams the buckets of popplers
out
of everyone's hands]
Amy: Why?
Bender: My booze!
Leela: Popplers are intelligent. This one called me "mama."
Zoidberg: Congratulations. I assume amy is the father.
Bender: Popplers can't talk. Leela must be hallucinating from not
eating
enough popplers. Here, eat some now. [Hands her a bucket]
Leela: No!
Bender: I sad eat! [Grabs her face and pours popplers on her] Come
on!
Mangea!
% Leela knocks the bucket out of his hands. It lands in a trash can.
Leela: Oh! Sorry, babies.
Amy: Leela, maybe you should lie down.
Zoidberg: Yes, listen to the father.
Leela: I'm telling you it spoke to me. Come on, little poppler. Say
"mama."
Fry: Look, Leela, even if you heard one talk that doesn't mean
it's
intelligent. I mean, parrots talk, and we eat them, right?
Bender: Yeah, maybe it just learned to talk as a parlor trick, like
Fry.
Fry: [Like a parrot] Like fry, like fry.
Prof.: There's one way, and only one way to determine if an animal
is
intelligent - [joyfully] dissect its brain.
Poppler: No! mama! Stop grandpa! [Everyone gasps]
Prof.: Enough chitchat. [Sharpens the rzaor] Restrain the specimen.
% At Fishy Joe's. Everyone eats popplers.
Woman: ...Some of that special sauce.
% An HGB race alien eats some. A fat guy reaches inside him, takes one
out and
% eats it. The alien swallows him whole in retalliation.
%
% Outside the restaurant. Leela's wearing a sign "Free The Popplers"
Leela: Stop eating popplers! They can talk!
Man: [in a poppler suit with a sign "Free Popplers"] Don't stop
to talk.
Eat popplers!
Leela: Hey, cut it out.
Man: Take a coupon. Cut it out.
% Leela hits him over the head with her sign, knocking him down.
%
% At another Fishy Joe's, Fry handcuffs himself to the rotating door.
Fry: People, I won't let you enter. Popplers are as intelligent
as you or
me.
Man: You, maybe.
% Pushes Fry, the door rotates with Fry as dead weight. People freely
go in
% and out.
%
% At yet another Fishy Joe's.
Bender: [Shaking his head as a bell] Hear me! Hear me! Stop eating
popplers!
Stop eating them with honey mustard sauce! Stop eating them
with
tangy sweet- and-sour sauce. Stop eating the new fiesta
poppler
salad. Stop taking advantage of the money-saving 12-pack.
% People gather round and go in. Planet Express ship flies overhead,
dropping
% a bomb.
Bender: Stop enjoying popplers on the patio, in the car, or on the
boat -
wherever good times are had.
% The bomb falls nearby, hits Bender on the head, lands on the
pavement, opens
% shooting up a flags "PLEASE DON'T EAT POPPLERS".
%
% At planet Express, the crew is watching TV.
Linda: Tonight, on Date Night: Popplers - eating them. Is it all
right to?
We have with us the C.E.O. of Fishy Joe's Mr. Fishy Jo
Gilman, noted
anti-eating activist, Free Waterfall, Jr., and the
discoverer of
popplers, Captain Toronga Leela.
Fry: Toronga?
Amy: That's her name, Philip.
Bender: Philip?
Linda: Fishy Joe, is it wrong to eat intelligent animals?
Joe: Absolutely not, Linda. I don't think anyone's here to make
that
claim.
Leela: I am.
Waterfall: Me, too.
Joe: Listen...
Waterfall: Shut up.
Joe: We're talking about a snack
Waterfall: Shut up.
Joe: that's low in fat and high in profit.
Waterfall: You're crazy, man. He is crazy.
Joe: There's not even any strong evidence that these popplers are
intelligent.
Waterfall: Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Leela: That's not true. I have one right here that can talk.
Waterfall: Shut up.
Leela: Come on. Say "Mama."
Poppler: Caca.
Linda: Okay, we'll have to bleep that.
Leela: Look, I'm not saying eating meat is wrong.
Waterfall: Shut up.
Leela: I don't think anyone's here to make that claim.
Waterfall: I am.
Leela: But eating an intelligent animal is different.
Waterfall: Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Joe: Oh, don't force your tired philosophy on us. I mean, the
only reason
we don't eat people is because it tastes lousy.
Waterfall: You're all nuts. Shut up. Let me talk.
Linda: You shut up, please.
Waterfall: No, you shut up, please.
Joe: Popplers are no smarter than any other animal I've served
and that
includes cats.
Poppler: Caca-head. Mean old caca-head.
Joe: Sir, I'm making a point. If these guttermouth creatures are
so smart
why don't they defend themselves, huh? [Grabs a bucket of
popplers
and starts eating]
Leela: Stop it.
Waterfall: I call murder on that.
Joe: Look, I'm willing to grant that it's murder. The real issue
is...
[Turns the bucket over to get the last of the popplers out]
...who's
going to stop me? [Laughs]
% Rumblings starts and the screen starts shaking. Everybody screams.
% Cut ot Omicronian ships approaching.
Linda: We seem to be experiencing technical difficulties [A piece
of
scenery drops] and crap like I've never seen.
% The screen goes blank, then omicronians appear.
Alien: People of earth, I am Lurr of the planet Omicron Persei
Eight.
[The words echo and some feedback sounds] Turn down that TV,
Ndunda.
Prof.: Dear lord, they're back.
Amy: We're doomed.
Hermes: Doomed!
Bender: Doooooooooooooooo...
Lurr: Now then, the creatures you call popplers Come from a
nursery planet
in our sector.
Ndunda: You monsters have been eating our babies.
% Leela and Waterfall gasp. Fishy Joe spits out the last poppler he's
eaten
% and tries to "rebuild" it, giggling embarassedly.
Ndunda: We demand justice. As you ate our children, so shall you be
eaten by
us.
Lurr: We will begin with the firemen, then the math teachers and
so on in
that fashion until everyone is eaten. [Laughs. Other alines
join]
Transmission over. Well, that went okay. I tell you - when
you know
you can't scratch that's when you really have to, huh?
[Scratches
himself] Oh... oh, yeah, that feels a lot better. What? It's
still
on? Oh! [Picture goes out]
% At the DOOP headquarters.
Zapp: As chief negotiator, I speak for all of earth when I mourn
the
regrettable loss of the omicronian young. We share your
pain. [Takes
a poppler out of a suitcase before him and eats it. Kif
sighs] Mmm,
if we could undo the damage... [Takes another one] Mmm.
These would
be great with gwack-a-mole.
Lurr: Stop eating our young! And it's pronounced GUACAMOLE!
Zapp: Mmm. All right. I'm putting them away. [Puts in to the floor
and
eats some more while down there. Kif sighs in frustration
again]
Now, uh, what is it you want?
Lurr: We demand... [Zapp burps] We demand to eat one human for
each
omicronian that was eaten.
Zapp: Fair enough. How many is that?
Kif: 198 Billion, sir.
Lurr: Very well. You will provide us with 198 billion humans. And,
uh,
small fries.
Ndunda: Lurr!
Lurr: Oh, all right, cottage cheese.
Kif: [Whispers to Zapp] Sir, there aren't that many human beings.
Zapp: A thought occurs - there aren't that many humans.
Lurr: We'll wait a few weeks while you shore up the numbers.
Zapp: Hmm? 198 billion babies in a few weeks. We'll need an army
of
super-virile men scoring 'round the clock! I'll do my part.
Kif,
clear my schedule.
% Kif sighs, turns over and shakes an Etch-A-Sketch.
%
% At the DOOP meeting room.
Fry: I wish they'd just wipe out humanity and get it over with.
It's the
waiting I can't stand.
Leela: That's stupid.
% The door to the negotiation room opens and Zapp, Kif and omicronians
walk
% out. The audiance cheers.
Zapp: My fellow earthlings, we have reached an agreement. Using
the twin
guns of grace and tact I blasted our worthless enemies with
a fair
compromise. [All cheer] They will not eat everyone on earth.
Lurr: I filled up on nuts at the negotiation.
Zapp: Instead, they will eat only a single human of their choice.
Lurr: We choose to eat the first earthling who ate our offspring.
Here is
the culprit as photographed by our nanny-cam satellite. [The
screen
shows a recording of Leela munching popplers] She must be
sacrificed
but the rest of you shall be spared.
% Everyone cheers, except Leela, Fry and Bender.
Leela: Boo! Boo!
% [End of Act Two. Act Time: Running Time:]
% At Madison Cube Garden.
% Audience murmurs.
Linda: Tonight the world watches in horror as an earthling is eaten
alive
on network television. This grim scene of unimaginable
carnage is
brought to you [In a jolly voice] by Fishy Joe's. Try our
new
extreme walrus juice. 100% Fresh-Squeezed Walrus. Ride the
walrus.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Omicronians!
Lurr: Greetings, earth mortals. [Audience boos]
Man: You suck!
Lurr: Get a job!
Bender: I'll miss you, leela. I know you're just a carbon-based
life-form,
but I'll always think of you as a big pile of titanium.
[Sniffles]
Fry: What Bender means is, you're really brave, and smart and
beautiful
and a great friend.
Bender: Just like titanium. [Sobs]
Leela: This is all a big load. I was the one trying to save the
popplers.
YOU [Points at Fry] were sucking them down like the fat hog
you are
And YOU [Points at Bender] were stepping on them for fun.
You both
should be in here instead of me.
Bender: Someone's acting awfully aluminum.
Zapp: Leela, my sweet, I've come to save you. I have a devious
plan.
Leela: Oh, great - captain moron has a plan. Why don't you tell it
to
wingus and dingus here.
Zapp: [To Fry and Bender] Wingus, dingus, listen up. We're going
to give
the aliens the old switcheroo.
Fry: You mean...?
Zapp: Correct. I found a giant, hideous ape that looks exactly
like Leela.
% Kif rolls in a cell with an ape.
Leela: It doesn't look anything like me. The hair is all wrong.
Zapp: Don't worry, kif is an expert stylist as you can plainly
see. Mmm!
[Brushes his hair. Kif groans]
% Kif gets to work.
Leela: You know, this might actually work. The Omicronians seem to
have
trouble telling one person from another.
Zapp: True. At the negotiations, they thought Kif here was the
statesman
and I was a jabbering mental patient. Isn't that right, Kif?
Kif: Please, I'm creating. [Finishes] Viola!
% The ape eats a banana and scratches its ass.
Bender: Bingo!
Fry: That's Leela.
Zapp: I'm seeing double.
% On the stage. Lurr at the table.
Lurr: I grow hungry. Bring on the one called "Leela."
Waiter: That comes with salad or soup.
Lurr: Uh, salad.
Waiter: Ranch or vinaigrette?
Lurr: [Displeased] Vinaigrette.
Waiter: Balsamic or raspberry?
% Lurr takes a gun and desintegrates him.
% Zapp rolls out the cell with the ape. Ndunda puts it on the table.
Audience
% murmurs.
Audience: [Murmurs] What's going on?
Zapp: People of Earth... Shh!
Audience: [Murmurs] Now I understand.
Lurr: [Looks at the picture, then at the ape] Hmm... Hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yes,
this is the one, definitely. I recognize her slumping
posture and
hairy knuckles.
% Leela looks at her knuckles. Lurr starts saling the ape, making a
whole
% heap of salt on its head.
Ndunda: Would you like some human with your salt?
% Lurr picks the ape up and opens his mouth.
Linda: This is it. If the aliens fall for zapp's ploy the earth
will be
saved. Brought to you by Fishy Joe's. Ride the walrus.
Waterfall: Wait! stop! It's a trick! that's not Leela! [Audience boos]
Lurr: Wha-what's happening? I'm losing the crowd. [Puts the ape
down]
Waterfall: It's an orangutan, one of mother earth's most precious
creatures.
Lurr: Hmm. [Takes out glasses and looks at the ape]
Zapp: [Grabs Waterfall by the hair and pulls him away] Why'd you
open your
bonghole, you smelly hippie? You'd sacrifice a beautiful
woman to
save a moderately attractive monkey? You must've smoked some
bad
granola.
Lurr: The one called "smelly hippie" is right. This IS a monkey.
Ndunda: [Eats the ape] Yes, definitely.
Lurr: Where is the real female?
Zapp: I'll never tell.
Lurr: Where is the real female? [Points a gun at him]
Zapp: I'll get her for you.
% Zapp pushes the cell with Leela.
Zapp: I realize this may hurt our chances of consummating our
relationship
again.
Leela: Go consummate yourself.
Lurr: Stop talking! You're getting cold! [Grabs Leela]
Leela: Please! I just paid off my car!
Fry: No!
Bender: I can't look. [Screws out his eyes and puts them inside
himself]
% Lurr opens his mouth.
Poppler: Stop! [Runs to the stage and jumps into Leela's mouth]
People of
earth I am Jurr of the planet Omicron Persei 8. Could
someone lower
this thing for me? [Leela does] Now, then, if Leela gets
eaten I get
eaten! [Everyone gasps]
Ndunda: Little one, get out of there! I'm going to count To blorks!
Jurr: But elder one...
Ndunda: Flingle, glorg, glorg and a gloob...
Jurr: Hear me out! There are many good reasons to eat: hunger,
boredom,
wanting to be the world's fattest man, but not revenge. Are
we no
better than they? Besides, Leela's my friend.
Lurr: [Garbled] Is this true, earthling?
Leela: [Garbled] You are hearing it.
Lurr: Leela's garbled words have opened my eyes. [Audience cheers]
% Leela spits Jurr out on her hand and pokes him in the stomach. He
giggles.
Waterfall: Okay, that's a start. That's very earth-friendly. Now,
everyone
join hands! Join hands, please! I'd like to lead you all in
some
swaying. Come on, pay attention. [The audience ignores] I
said, do
it! Yeah. Over there. Do it!
Lurr: [To Jurr] Is he your friend, too?
Jurr: No.
% Lurr swallows Waterfall.
Waterfall: Aah! This is not happening. [Audience cheers. Lurr waves]
Lurr: [Groans] Ooh, I think there was something funny in that
hippie.
Leela: Thank you, Jurr. [Kisses him] I hope you'll always think of
me as
your mom.
Jurr: When my species grows up, we eat our moms.
Leela: Whoop! [Tosses it to Ndunda. Ndunda catches him]
Lurr: People of earth... Ooh, that hippie's starting to kick in.
We've all
learned an important lesson today. I realize now, that...
Dude, my
hands are huge. [Audience murmurs] They can touch anything
but
themselves. [Toches one hand with another] Oh, wait.
Ndunda: Let's go.
Lurr: Ooh. Hmm... [Touches his cape] Whoa-ho-ho. Whoo. Yea...
% Weak applause.
%
% The ships take off.
Lurr: Whoa, I feel like I'm flying!
% Back at Planet Express.
%
% They are celebrating. Bender serves the table.
Prof.: A toast to Leela. She showed us it's wrong to eat certain
things.
Fry: Hear, hear!
Bender: Let's get drunk!
Leela: Aw, thanks, guys. Pass the veal, please.
Bender: Here you go.
Fry: Mmm, let me get some Of that suckling pig. [Amy hands it to
him]
Bender: Who wants dolphin? [Everyone gasps]
Leela: Dolphin? But dolphins are intelligent.
Bender: Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery
tickets.
Leela: Oh. That's different. Pass the blowhole.
Amy: Can I have a fluke?
Hermes: Hey, quite hogging the bottlenose.
Prof.: Toss me the speech center of the brain.
% [End of Act Three. Act Time: Running Time:]
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{} Me
{DLD} Daniel L. Dreibelbis
{DDG} Don Del Grande
{JK} Joe Klemm
{S} Seraphim
{JD} Jeremy Dennis
{RMK} Rev. Matt Keeley
{AF} Adam Foster
{LF} Larry F
{FP} Fen Phen
{HL} Haynes Lee
Jym Dyer
> ...
> ... this is the first episode where Fry and Leela's first
> names are mentioned?
=v= Fry's first name appears in the pilot episode, on Leela's
screen.
<_Jym_>
Robert J. Muldoon
Fast Food Chains:
Burger Jerk- Burger King? (good description of the workers, or maybe a pun
on Soda Jerk)
Fishy Joe's- Long John Silver, probably the first chain to serve mostly
seafood.
Chizzler- Sizzler, good description of what you need for their steaks.
Bender says, "Eat it or beat it". Possible "Weird Al" Yankovic reference?
The Popplers theme for Fishy Joe's is to the tune of "Sailor's Horn".
MEAT- PeTA: People for The Ethical Treatment of Animals is a [non-]Profit
organization which uses propaganda, lies, and scare tactics to stop animal
"abuse". According to them, animal use is animal use. Probably their
slogan. Their logo is a rabbit, but PeTA would never have a logo with a
human and an animal together....
Fishy Joe mentions that human meat tastes lousy, and according to Jeffery
Dahmer, that's true.
Urban Legend says that cats and dogs are served at many Oriental
restaurants. Although it is legal in Korea.
--
Sincerely,
Robert J. Muldoon
o--(|8[#]
"If you are angry with someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes...
then you'll be a mile away from them, and you'll have their shoes."
http://www.geocities.com/bolognaornot
S1.3 OFF+++ NED+++# ABE+++ FRI+++># CBG+++# BOB+++ ASS--- f++++ s-l+++
ats--- pso $+++ MG20, 7G09, 9F15, 2F13, 3F24, 3G01, 4F10, BABF07,
AABF22----- M1984
Johannes Lempp
>
> The Popplers theme for Fishy Joe's is to the tune of "Sailor's Horn".
That's "Sailor's Hornpipe".
Johannes, the nitpicker