"When Aliens Attack (1ACV12)" Episode Capsule Part Two
Jordan Eisenberg Unit 22
If you watch carefully, you'll notice a striking amount of instances in
this episode of people interrupting people!
Dave Sweatt: The alien shoots his television as Elvis Presley is
rumored to have done (which The Simpsons has also parodied).
Steven Aaron Monroe: Bender feels pain. (Especially after his butt
overheated when he was cooking burgers.)
Dave Antonoff comments on the tiny spaceship blowing up Fry's
sandcastle: They used this perspective illusion once before -- the
'planet' that splatted against the ships windshield in [1ACV05].
Dave Sweatt: Morbo is missing. I attibute this to the fact that since
Lrrr's voice (the main alien) is very similar to Morbo's, it makes
sense not to have the two play off of each other in the same scene.
Haynes Lee: Dunkirk was the biggest evacuation just after the fall of
France to Nazi Germany which involved a flotilla of every available
English boat.
Jason Barrera: Zapp Brannigan's Heart, Head, and Hand salute seems
eerily like a Nazi salute.
Although the White House has fallen into disuse, the Capitol building
is still functioning as a legislative body.
I guess there's little chance of President McNeal's preserved head
showing up in the "Hall of Presidents" now.
Steven Aaron Monroe: Amy's comment about Leela not having the thighs
for a mini-skirt indicates that there might be some interesting
friction between the two. I can imagine the two of them having a
cat-fight (of course, I probably shouldn't).
Don Del Grande: Fry was wrong. The secret to TV is that everything is
back to normal at the beginning of the next episode, not the end of
the current one. Didn't ten years of "The Simpsons" teach him
anything?
Craig R. Orr notices a possible pun:
Omicron Persei 8 --> O.P. 8 --> opiate
The planet watches a lot of TV. TV is often considered an opiate.
Looks good!
========================================================================
= Fun Stuff =
>> References to Previous Episodes
- [1ACV01] Fry delivers pizza _and_ LoBrau beer {ds}
- [1ACV02] "Got Protoplasm?" ad appears
- [1ACV02] "MOON U" man appears
- [1ACV02] Bender: "Hey, I'm pretty good!"
- [1ACV03] The PE ship beeps in reverse cf., Calculon's half-brother
beeps {ds}
- [1ACV06] Music from car scene is reused from Fry's money-splurge
- [1ACV06] A high resolution TV gag (cf., Amy's obscene tatoo) {ds}
- [1ACV07] Dr. Zoidberg in hot butter
- [1ACV08] Spray-on bikini cf., spray-on toupee {ds}
- [1ACV08] Square root-2 News anchorwoman {ds}
- [1ACV08] Bender scratches his shiny, metal ass
- [1ACV08] Fry's sloth and knowledge of the 20th century save the
world {lf}
- [1ACV09] The street outside Sparky's Den, "That Equals True" robot,
Hookerbot 5000 and one of the Junkie robots appear
- [1ACV10] The crew wear their swimsuits
- [1ACV10] Hermes easily swipes his clothes off to reveal an outfit
that is appropriate for the occasion (swimsuit cf.,
olympic limbo outfit) {ds}
- [1ACV10] "Where in Babylon is Bender?" cf., "What in Babylon?"
- [1ACV11] LoBrau Beer ad appears
- [1ACV11] Bender: "Cheese it!"
>> Fan-made Alternate Titles for this Episode
"Abnormal Dependence Day"
"Attack of the 1000-Year Hiatus" {es}
"Attack of the Killer Couch Potatoes" {hl}
========================================================================
= Voice Credits =
>> Starring
Billy West ............................... Fry, Farnsworth, Zoidberg,
Beach Bully, President McNeal, Zapp
Katey Sagal ................................................... Leela
John DiMaggio ............................. Fox Techie, Judge, Bender
>> Guest Starring
Tress MacNeille ....................... Jennie McNeal, Girl in Stall,
Newscaster, Female Omicron
Maurice LaMarche ......................... Omicron Husband, Lrrr, Kif
Phil LaMarr ................................... Fox Announcer, Hermes
Lauren Tom ............................................. Amy, Nibbler
[Thanks to Haynes Lee for supplying the cast of the episode, which
wasn't shown in the US credits due to technical stupidity.]
= Quotes and Scene Summaries =
% New York City, 1999. Fry is making a pizza delivery to the WNYW
% broadcasting tower, and finds a man alone in the control room, save
% for a few dozen buttons, dials and TV screens.
Fry: Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh?
Techie: Well, it's a Fox affiliate.
Fry: What are you showing right now?
Techie: [points to a TV screen] Single Female Lawyer. It's the
season finale. You wanna watch?
Fry: Aw, I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the
genre "world's blankiest blank."
Techie: She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt.
Fry: I'm in.
% Fry takes a seat, and as they each crack into a beer we cut to the
% show in progress. A skinny blonde and a male judge (a la "Ally
% McBeal") are arguing in a bathroom.
Judge: Counselor, I remind you that it's unethical to sleep with your
client. If you really care about the outcome of the case, you
should sleep with me.
Woman: Your Honor, it's bad enough to proposition a single, female
lawyer in court, but this is a unisex bathroom!
Judge: Overruled, Counselor.
% The judge pulls her in to kiss her, and after a few seconds of
% struggling, she gives in. As they kiss, a door to one of the stalls
% opens up and a woman leans out, while typing into a laptop, asking
% "Could you repeat that last part?" Back in real life, Fry yawns, and
% his outstretched arm accidentally knocks over a beer can that was
% resting on the control unit. The beer seeps into the machine, setting
% off sparks and causing static to appear on every screen in the room.
Techie: Oh, my God! You knocked Fox off the air!
Fry: Pfft. Like anyone on Earth cares.
% We now switch to a view outside of the building and begin a sequence
% in which we leave Earth and pull backwards through the solar system,
% then the galaxy, eventually slowing down at an exotic planet, for
% which the captions read: "Omicron Persei 8 -- 1000 Light Years Away --
% 1000 Years Later." Two native aliens (green, fat and troll-like) are
% sitting in their den, watching the very same episode of "Single,
% Female Lawyer" on television, when the screen erupts in static.
Husband: This is an outrage! I demand to know what happens to the
plucky lawyer and her compellingly short garment.
[a Fox logo alights onscreen]
Voice: Due to technical difficulties, we now bring you eight
animated shows in a row.
% The husband, piping mad, takes out a ray-gun and vaporizes their TV.
% End of Act One (1:41)
% Fry and Bender are watching TV in the lounge. Hermes enters the room
% carrying a rolled-up newspaper, and is angry to see them goofing off.
Hermes: What in the name of Bob Marley's ghost ... ? Get to work, you
lazy boltbag.
[he hits Bender with the paper; Fry laughs and gets hit too]
Fry: Hey, quit it, Hermes. Its Labor Day.
Hermes: Labor Day? That phony-baloney holiday crammed down our
throats by fat-cat union gangsters?
Fry: That's the one.
Hermes: Hot damn. A day off.
% Hermes throws his jacket off and joins them on the couch. The rest of
% the crew enter the room, wearing their swimsuits and carrying a load
% of beach equipment.
Leela: Who's up for one last summer beach trip?
Bender: Oh, yeah.
Hermes: Ready, Freddy.
Fry: Eh. I think I'll just stay here.
Leela: Fry, youre wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You
need to get out and see the real world.
Fry: But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real
world.
Leela: [groans] Everyone's too polite to say anything but youre
covered with bedsores.
Fry: Not covered.
Leela: Just get in the car.
% After Fry is convinced to leave the office, the entire crew takes a
% ride cross-country in their hovercar until they reach the parking-lot
% of their destination, Monument Beach. The beach is overshadowed by
% many full-sized structures, including the Sphynx, Big Ben, the White
% House, Mount Rushmore, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Randy's Donuts and
% some Easter Island heads.
Fry: Wait. Mount Rushmore _and_ the Leaning Tower of Pisa? I
didn't know they were both in New York.
Leela: They are now. In the 2600s, New Yorkers elected a
supervillain governor and he stole most of the world's
monuments.
Bender: Truly a great man. Look at him up there.
% Bender points upwards -- we see that a fifth head has been carved into
% Mount Rushmore, of the supervillain. (He looks like a mad scientist
% with goggles.) Once the crew is settled into the beach, Leela rubs
% tanning butter on herself and Dr. Zoidberg rubs butter on himself.
% Hermes is searching the beach with a metal detector until he discovers
% a source of metal, then digs to find Bender's head in the sand. He
% exclaims "Aha! Found you!" and Bender offers for Hermes to go hide,
% which he does. Bender simply lets him run off, then lays down with a
% martini and shuts his eyelids.
% The Professor, Zoidberg, Amy and Leela are playing volleyball. After
% the Professor serves, Amy sets the ball to Leela, who spikes it onto
% Farnsworth's skull, knocking him to the ground, while the ball leaps
% right to Dr. Zoidberg, and impales itself on his claw. It deflates
% with a hiss, and he impatiently tosses it into a pile of deflated
% volleyballs behind him. When Farnsworth criticizes him, he says he's
% had it with the game and opts to go for a "scuttle" ... he crouches
% down and, with some fancy footwork, slides into the ocean. Meanwhile,
% Bender offers the crew some burgers which were grilled to perfection
% inside his chest cavity.
Fry: Ah! Just like my Dad used to make until McDonalds fired him.
Bender: Bite my red-hot glowing ass. Wait a minute ... red-hot
glowing ass?! [calmly] I'll be right back.
% He discovers a patch of steaming-hot residue in his ass, screams in
% pain and runs into the ocean, where the water cools him down. On
% land, Amy is being watched furtively by Nibbler as she enjoys her
% hamburger, until she accidentally drops the meat of it directly onto
% her cleavage. Nibbler leaps for the free snack, and in running away
% with the food manages to run off with her bikini top as well.
% Covering herself with the two hamburger buns, she asks the professor
% to get her another bikini, and he hands her a can of spray-paint. She
% takes the can, sprays some onto herself, and a new bikini appears on
% her skin.
Amy: There, how do i look?
Prof.: Like a cheap French harlot.
Amy: [disappointed] French?
% Fry is building a sandcastle, but a muscular bully comes over and
% kicks the sand into his face. The bully looks to Leela.
Bully: Say, Dollface, how'd you like to make time with a _real_ man?
Leela: No. I'm not attracted to bullies no matter how big and, uh,
handsome they are.
[he flexes his muscles for her]
Fry: It's okay, Leela -- go ahead. I've got a lot of work to do
here.
Bully: [laughs] Sir, you don't understand. I'm a professional beach
bully. I pretend to steal your girl. You punch me, I go down,
she swoons ... you slip me 50 bucks.
Fry: 50 bucks?! Not even if she was my girlfriend. You take her.
Leela: Fry! Although ... I suppose we could go for a walk on the
beach.
Bully: Uh, no thanks, ma'am. I'm actually gay.
[he dashes off and Leela sighs]
% Underwater, Dr. Zoidberg's "scuttle" leads him to a deposit of fish
% skeletons. As he moves over to have a taste, an old-fashioned
% lobster-trap falls onto him! He yells for help, and soon enough,
% Bender comes strolling along the ocean floor. Zoidberg pleas:
% "Bender, you gotta spring me. I'll never survive in here. I'm too
% pretty!" Bender helps by bending the bars of the cage outward, but as
% Zoidberg climbs out, a siren wails from overhead and spotlights pour
% down on them. They run away. Back on the beach, Fry is putting the
% finishing touches on another, much bigger sandcastle.
Fry: Voila. The greatest sandcastle ever built. This is the kind
of castle King Arthur would have lived in if he were a fiddler
crab.
Leela: Its very nice. We should get a picture before the tide comes
in.
Fry: Oh, yeah. Does anyone have a camera?
Bender: Right here, buddy.
% Bender closes one eye, and the other one extends out a few inches like
% a zoom-lense. Before he takes a picture, he says he wants to be in
% the picture too, and takes his head off and puts in on the ground,
% then walks over to the rest of them, who are crowded behind the
% sandcastle. "Pretend you're happy," he tells them seconds before the
% picture is taken, but at the final moment a shadow looms over the
% whole beach and the resulting picture has the crew in darkness,
% looking upwards in fright.
% A fleet of enemy flying saucers lowers from the sky and begins blowing
% up the attractions at Monument Beach. As destruction and fire rain
% down on the fleeing tourists, a miniature saucer flies over to Fry's
% sandcastle and blows it up. Fry drops to his knees and cries "Noooo!"
% End of Act Two (5:02)
% The entire city is in peril from these saucers, who are zapping the
% whole landscape with lasers. The crew barely escapes being fried by
% one as they run from their car to the safety of the office.
Fry: We're all gonna die, aren't we?
Prof.: Oh, I should think so. Although last time aliens invaded
all they did was force the most intelligent of us to pair
off and mate continuously. Oh, yes.
[he inhales some breath-freshener]
[Bender turns the TV on, to the news]
Newscaster: One again, today's winning lotto number was four. In
other news, alien saucers continue to reign destruction
upon Earth. We now go live to an emergency address by
Earth President McNeal.
[a press-conference is held in the Capitol building]
McNeal: Ladies and gentlemen, our course is clear. The time has
come to knuckle under. To get down on all fours and
really lick boot. Give our alien masters whatever they
want, and --
% The transmission is cut and a group of green aliens (like the ones in
% the opening act) appear in its place. One of them appears to be their
% leader, wearing a cape and standing before a microphone. He speaks.
Lrrr: People of Earth, I am Lrrr, of the planet Omicron Persei 8.
[taps microphone; faces aside] Is this thing on? [someone
nods yes; he turs back towards us] Now, then ... We want the
one you call McNeal. Give us McNeal, or we will lay waste to
your cities with our anti-monument laser. We demand McNeal!
[the transmission cuts back to the President]
McNeal: [nervous] Uh ... as I was saying ... Mankind would sooner
perish than kowtow to outrageous alien demands for this
"McNeal" ... whoever he is. Am I right? [the audience
murmurs] And now, the man who will lead us in our proud
struggle for freedom, fresh from his bloody triumph over the
pacifists of the Ghandi Nebula, 25-Star General Zapp
Brannigan!
[applause; Zapp takes the podium; Leela groans]
Bender: Hey, look, Leela. It's that idiotic windbag you slept with.
Leela: The Earth is under attack. Can't we just forget about that?
Bender: Evidently not. [crosses his legs and looks away]
Zapp: Call me cocky but if there's an alien out there I can't kill I
haven't met him and killed him yet. But I can't go it alone.
That's why I'm ordering every available ship to report for
duty. Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire
wildly into the air.
Leela: Well, you heard the windbag. We've been drafted. Everone
into the ship.
Bender: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold on. I refuse to fight. I'm a
conscientious objector.
Fry: A what?
Bender: You know -- a coward.
Zapp: Since this is an emergency, all robots will now have their
patriotism circuits activated.
% Zapp presses a remote-control button, and Bender's antennae lights up.
% He strikes a courageous pose and recites "It is every robots duty to
% give his life for the good of humanity!", then mutters in resentment.
% Away they go ... a fleet of hundreds of ships, including PE, leaves
% Earth's atmosphere and enters the landing bay inside the Nimbus
% spacecraft, which is floating near the moon. With all the draftees
% assembled in a large corridor, Zapp Brannigan gives a motivational
% speech.
Zapp: You're all from different cultures, here. Some of you are
white. Some of you are black. [to a soldier] You're brown.
[to Bender] ... and you're silver. But I don't care if your
skin's red or tan of Chinese. You're all going to have to
learn to die together. [to Bender] Am I right, soldier?
Bender: Well, actually, I ... [Zapp activates his patriotism circit]
Sir! Yes, sir! Sir!
Zapp: Remember, our mission is simple -- destroy all aliens.
Kif: [raises his hand] Er, um ... not me, sir.
Zapp: Oh, yes ... right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have to.
[Zapp spots Leela among the ranks]
Zapp: Oh, ho ... ho ... The luscious captian Leela. This is
turning into one very sexy struggle for the future of the
human race.
Leela: Thanks, but I'm not technically human.
Zapp: Right, right. [loudly] Nobody destroy Leela, either.
% Further in the bowels of the ship, in a living quarter full of
% bunkbeds, Zapp gives his crew a lecture on bedmaking.
Zapp: The key to victory is discipline and that means a well-made bed.
You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean, while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier. Not with all the
bed-making you'll be doing.
% Later, Zapp lays out their battle plans with a large chart.
Zapp: [pointing] The alien mother ship is in orbit here. If we can
hit that bull's-eye the rest of the dominos will fall like a
house of cards. Checkmate. [Kif groans] Now, like all great
plans my strategy is so simple, an idiot could have devised
it. On my command, all ships will line up and file directly
into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage.
[Fry raises his hand]
Fry: Wouldn't it make more sense to send the robots in first ...
[Bender strangles Fry, until his patriotism kicks in]
Bender: Sir! I volunteer for a suicide mission! [to himself] Aw ...
cut it out!
Zapp: You're a brave robot, son, but when I'm in command every
mission's a suicide mission. Which reminds me ... [to Leela]
Leela, perhaps before we head into battle you'd like to make
love to me in case one of us doesn't come back.
Leela: Maybe we should wait until afterwards in case neither of us
comes back.
Zapp: Here's hoping.
% Zapp does a head-and-heart salute and finishes it by blowing a kiss
% towards her. Once again, the ships take off and head into battle
% towards the alien ship. In the PE ship, Fry is in charge of firing
% the missles from the small dome atop the ship, excited.
Fry: I'll be a science-fiction hero just like Uhura or Captain
Janeway or Xena.
Leela: Fry, this isn't TV, it's real life. Can't you tell the
difference?
Fry: Sure. I just like TV better.
% The ships are closer than ever to the enemy saucer. The first wave of
% ships (including PE) flies in and begins shooting. After registering
% a few hits, our heroes' ship is hit. Leela asks for a damage report,
% and Bender tells her the auxiliary power's out and he spilled his
% cocktail. Fry, determined to avenge Bender's cocktail, fires a dozen
% more missles at the enemy, point-blank, and as they move out of the
% way, the mother ship explodes in fire. The crew cheers, Bender
% dispenses more drinks, and Zapp appears via televideo to congratulate
% them on destroying the mother ship. ... outside the windshield,
% though, the universe seems to spring to life with thousands of brand
% new stars until a perfect grid of white lights is formed. This
% reveals itself as only the underside of a massive starship which makes
% even the Nimbus look dwarfish.
Zapp: [squints] What the hell is that thing?
Kif: It appears to be the mother ship.
Zapp: Then what did we just blow up?
Kif: [checks map] The hubble telescope.
% A few ships try in vain to attack the new enemy, but are vaporized
% instantly. Zapp yells in anguish at his thinning ranks, while Leela
% reasons to her friends that if they're going to get blown to bits,
% they might as well do it in the comfort of their own home. At that
% point, she drives the Planet Express ship in reverse, back towards
% Earth. Meanwhile, Farnsworth is interviewing a team of prospective
% employees who look startlingly like Fry, Bender and Leela.
Prof.: You'll be the captain, you'll be the delivery boy, and
you'll be the alcoholic, foul-mothed ...
[The _real_ crew shows up across the room]
Prof.: Oh, God, you're alive! I mean, thank God, you're alive.
[to the others] Sorry -- check back in three days. A
week at the most.
[the TV comes to life, with Lrrr at the helm]
Lrrr: We want McNeal! Stop stalling!
[cut to the news]
Newscaster: And now, a rebuttal from President McNeal.
[cut to the Capital building]
McNeal: The people of Earth remain united in my refusal to hand
over myself. Total annihilation is a small price to pay
compared with ...
% His speech is interrupted when Zapp Brannigan sneaks up behind him and
% captures him inside a large potato sack. Zapp ties the end in a knot
% and drags the President's mumbling, resisting self offscreen (while
% some take the oppurtunity to kick the sack). Outside the building, a
% leg of the aliens' spacecraft is resting on the ground. Zapp dumps
% the sack next to a steel door, knocks, and runs away. Lrrr and his
% Queen appear on the other side of the door just as McNeal frees
% himself from the sack, and they stare face-to-face.
Lrrr: You are not McNeal!
Both: Huh?
Queen: You are not the one we want.
McNeal: Oh, thank you! Thank you, glorious masters! I ...
[Lrrr vaporizes the President with a raygun! Zapp shrieks]
Lrrr: Give us McNeal!
Zapp: That _was_ McNeal.
Queen: No, _McNeal_ -- the Single Female Lawyer.
Lrrr: She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous.
Zapp: [curious] Really.
[the crew are watching all this on television]
Fry: Miniskirts?! That sounds familiar.
Lrrr: Surely you know McNeal. She is an unmarried human female
struggling to succeed in a human male's world.
Zapp: Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.
Lrrr: Silence! We will accept no more decoys. _This_ is the
McNeal.
[Lrrr presents a photo of the Single, Female Lawyer]
Fry: Wait ... I know her!
Leela: You do not, you big, fat liar. You don't know anyone. All
you do is watch TV.
Fry: That's where I know her from. She's Jennie McNeal. She was a
character on a TV show back in the 20th Century -- "Single
Female Lawyer."
Bender: Well, if they're hoping to see a TV show that hasn't existed
for 1,000 years -- pfft. They are royally boned.
Lrrr: We will raise your planet's tempurature by one mullion degrees
a day for five days unless we see McNeal at 9:00 p.m.
tomorrow. 8:00 central.
[end transmission; the crew is dismayed]
Prof.: I'm beginning to think there'll be no forced mating at all.
% End of Act Three (8:25)