"My Three Suns (1ACV07)" Episode Capsule Part Three
Jordan Eisenberg
% back inside the palace, with the guards chasing behind them. The
% emperor, still glowing inside Fry's stomach, tries to shout back to
% his minions and tell them what direction the crew is headed in, but
% Bender solves the problem by punching Fry in the stomach. The finally
% succeed in locking themselves inside the throne room, and gather
% around the front of the room together, when one of the Trisolians
% (Murg) pounds on the door.
Murg: Let us in! Fry must die so that Bont may live!
Fry: [to his friends] What am I gonna do?
Amy: We've gotta get the emporer out of your body before they
kill you!
Zoidberg: Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you at a high-speed
centrefuge, seperating out the denser fluids of His
Highness.
Fry: But, won't that crush my bones?
Zoidberg: [to himself] Oh, right, right, with the bones. I always
forget about the bones.
Bender: Why don't you just sweat him out?
Bont: Forget it. As emperor, I refuse to be dripped out through
somebody's armpits.
Fry: Well, I could vomit or urinate. Would you feel better about
that?
Bont: Slightly, but my favorite so far is the bone-crushing.
Amy: What about crying?
Fry: That's a great idea. Crying!
Bont: [permissive] Fine, that or the bone one.
% Outside, the others are trying to break into the room by splashing
% themselves against the door. Murg brings good news that "the venir is
% starting to peel," but the unlucky person that tries to to splash
% himself next, who happens to be Gorgak, accidentally strikes a little
% too hard and finds himself in a dozen little puddles on the floor. He
% mutters "Oh, dear." Meanwhile, Fry is sitting in his throne clenching
% his face in an attempt to cry.
Fry: It's no use. I want to cry, but I'm just too macho.
Bender: I'll make you cry, buddy! [clears throat; begins yelling at
Fry] You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never
amount to anything!
Fry: What do you mean? I was emperor of a whole planet.
Bender: Good point, but here's a disturbing reminder ... everyone
you knew or loved in the 20th century is dead!
Fry: These things happen.
Bender: [grumbles] Okay, Fry, grab a kleenex for this one ...
'cause there's no God, and your idiotic human ideals are
laughable!!! [chuckles evilly]
Fry: Whew ... that's a load off my mind.
Bender: Man, I guess it's harder than I thought to make someone cry.
Amy: You did your best, Bender.
Bender: Up yours, bimbo!!!
[Amy runs off crying]
Zoidberg: Let's face it, we're in hot butter here. We should call
Leela for help.
Bender: Cram it, lobster!!!
[Zoidberg weeps]
But that _is_ a good idea ... I'll go call her.
Fry: Nah, she'll never help me. She's still mad that I told her
never to help me.
Amy: C'mon, Leela's not the type to hold a grudge.
% We cut instantly to a photograph of Fry, which is taped to the side of
% a punching bag. Leela, in the ship's cargo bay area, lets out a few
% punches onto the photo, when the televideo machine on the wall comes
% to life. A voice from the machine announces a collect call, and the
% recording is of Bender defensively saying "I'm not giving my name to a
% machine!" Leela accepts, and Bender's picture flickers into view.
Bender: Fry's in trouble and he needs help. Now, I don't like you and
you don't like me ...
Leela: [friendly] _I_ like you.
Bender: You do? [he shakes his head in confusion] Look, are you
gonna help or not?
Leela: I don't see why I should. I mean, after the way ...
Bender: Wait, wait, wait ... what is it you like best about me?
% After the phone call is over, Bender walks back over to the throne
% where the rest of them are gathered.
Amy: Is she coming?
Bender: I'm not sure, but I do know she like my "in-your-face
attitude."
% Outside the palace, there is a horde of Trisolians gathered together;
% so big that from a bird's-eye view, the entire ground appears to be
% blue. A few of them are pushing a large vehicle across the desert,
% which has what looks like a fifty-foot-tall blender in the middle.
% One of them pulls a cord and the machine starts to whirr, and the crew
% run to observe the action from the throne room windows.
Fry: [panicking] What the hell is that?
Bont: It's the Juice-O-Matic 4000! It'll strain my juices from
you while filtering out the pulp ... by which I mean your
shredded remains.
Zoidberg: Of course! Why didn't I think of that?
Fry: This is the saddest day of my life ... and I still can't
cry!
Bender: Wait a second, here comes Leela!
% Almost lost in the crowd beneath, we see Leela fighting her way past a
% neverending onpour of Trisolians. She performs a variety of fighting
% moves on them, and is able to splash a number of her enemies to bits,
% but is eventually overpowered and surrounded.
Amy: Oh no, they have her totally outnumbered!
Fry: I can't believe it! She's risking her life for me after the way
I treated her? [moans] I don't deserve this. I feel terrible.
% This gives Bender an idea. When Fry (who has now walked away from the
% window back to his throne) asks if Leela is alright, Bender tells him
% in an obviously phony tone of voice that the aliens are swarming all
% over her. When Amy, who has a clear view of what is actually going on
% outside, protests, Bender cups his hand over her mouth, and after a
% little helpless muttering, she finally gets it. Bender returns to the
% window.
Bender: They're strapping her to the juicer! Oh, they're putting some
ice-cubes in the glass under it.
Fry: [sobs] This can't be happening!
Bender: It can, and for all you know, it is. [walks over to Fry] I'm
sorry , Fry ... she's dead.
% Fry is hunched over one arm of the throne, and his eyes are beginning
% to water. A single tear forms, and falls through the air until it
% lands inside the "royal bottle," which is waiting in Amy's hands
% beneath Fry's head. Fry speaks remorsefully to himself.
Fry: [slowly; sadly] All Leela ever wanted to do was help me, and I
was too proud and stupid to accept it. I wish I had died
instead of her.
Leela: What are you talking about?
% To some musical fanfare, Leela shows up with a grappling hook through
% one of the windows. Fry and Leela are both confused, but Bender
% explains the situation to them. Amy complains that they were only
% able to get two drops of the emperor. They're all startled by a loud
% noise coming from across the room; a hole appears in the center of one
% of the wooden doors, and a stream of water starts pouring out of it
% into the room. Emperor Bont evilly declares that it's only a matter
% of time now, but Dr. Zoidberg saves the day by sticking a piece of his
% "mustache" into the hole and plugging the leak.
Leela: Listen, Fry, I think I can get us out of this if you're willing
to let me help you.
Fry: Thanks, Leela. From now on, I'll take all the help you're
willing to give. I know you just want what's best for me.
% They exchange warm glances, and Leela wrecks the moment by stomping
% forcefully on Fry's foot. He screams in pain. Leela continues to
% slap him and pull his hair, and Fry tries in vain to question her.
% Leela comforts him verbally as she hurts him, and calls everyone else
% over to help him out. Once he notices the tears forming in his eyes,
% he understands, and lets them proceed. Leela cracks his nose, Amy
% pulls his hair some more and Bender rubs the lit end of a cigar into a
% "sensitive area," all while Fry is dropping tears into the bottle.
% After a while, Amy holds it up and declares that they're one tenth of
% the way there.
% The scene changes to much later that night, where Leela, Bender and
% Dr. Zoidberg are sitting exhausted by the window. Fry is curled up on
% the floor, and Amy is kicking him in the stomach. She walks away to
% catch her breath, and points off-screen to say "It's your turn."
% Someone from off-screen with blue hands whacks Fry with a chair.
Fry: Hey, wait a minute ... who are you?
Bont: I'm the emperor! Thanks for crying me out.
Fry: Oh, you're welcome.
% Emperor Bont, who is standing above Fry, whacks him with the chair a
% few more times. We pan away from the palace, sitting in front of a
% star-lit night-sky backdrop, as Fry gets whacked with the chair a few
% more times. Bender's voice comes from inside.
Bender: Hey, save some for me!
% End of Act Four (6:09)
========================================================================
= Contributers =
{br} Benjamin Robinson {jm} Joshua Moore
{co} Calyxa Omphalos {ml} Mike Lee
{hl} Haynes Lee {pm} Patrick McGovern
{jb} Jason Barrera {rm} Rob Merritt
{jg} Jim Geraghty {rc} Rick Carlson
{jj} Jason Jenkins {rs} Reagen Sulewski
{jk} Joe Klemm {sv} Steve VanDevender
{jl} Jake Lennington {vy} Vince Yim
========================================================================
Futurama and its characters are the ==== First uploaded: 13-Jun-1999
properties of 30th Century Fox. Blame ==== Revision A : ??-???-????
them for any omissions. This capsule ==== E-mail me: <jed...@aol.com>
compiled by Jordan Eisenberg the Solid. ================================
Available on the web at: <http://futurama.simplenet.com/1ACV07.txt>