BOW DOWN
tr...@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu
are no personalities here. Its because the tumors in your brain have disolved
your personalities.
Well, I guess there is but one thinbg for me to do......
I hearby declare this newsgroup MINE!!!
I have taken over this newsgroup to ad to my ever growing empire!!!
Bow to your chief, MORTALS!!!
Rudeboy
Aw, bow down on *this*, loser.
>
Christopher Samuel
tr...@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu doodled:
> This is just what I thought! This place is as empty as most of your
> heads! Ther are no personalities here. Its because the tumors in your
> brain have disolved your personalities.
Sigh, perhaps it's because no-one posts here ?
As for personalities what about Larry Wall and Kibo, to name two, for
whom the mearest mention of their name is enough to attract their
attention to a thread..
> Well, I guess there is but one thinbg for me to do......
>
> I hearby declare this newsgroup MINE!!!
> I have taken over this newsgroup to ad to my ever growing empire!!!
>
> Bow to your chief, MORTALS!!!
Ahhhh, the seasonal joys of autumn, the fruit on the trees, the
leaves turning gold, the clueless postings of newbies.
Chris
--
Christopher Samuel, Computer Unit, U.W Aberystwyth, Aberystwyth, WALES
E-mail: c...@aber.ac.uk PGP 2.3 public key available on request
"Some say the gods are a myth, - The Waterboys
but guess who I've been dancing with." "The Return of Pan"
Sanford Owings
James Kibo Parry
In article <1993Oct12.1...@aber.ac.uk>,
Christopher Samuel <c...@aber.ac.uk> wrote:
>
> As for personalities what about Larry Wall and Kibo, to name two, for
> whom the mearest mention of their name is enough to attract their
> attention to a thread..
Is *not*!
> Ahhhh, the seasonal joys of autumn, the fruit on the trees, the
> leaves turning gold, the clueless postings of newbies.
I'm going trolling soon. This should be good. Keep your eyes
peeled for the largest newbie-fishing operation in history...
This'll cause chaos.
-- K.
Larry Wall
: As for personalities what about Larry Wall and Kibo, to name two, for
: whom the mearest mention of their name is enough to attract their
: attention to a thread..
People think I'm a personality, but I'm really just personable.
As to whether Kibo is a personality, I'll leave that to the theologians.
Larry Wall
lw...@netlabs.com
Blair P. Houghton
>I'm going trolling soon. This should be good. Keep your eyes
>peeled for the largest newbie-fishing operation in history...
>This'll cause chaos.
Here, have a tube of Poli-Grip(TM): |___>*
--Blair
"The Evolution of
Portmanteau Man."
Christopher Samuel
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) doodled:
> [alt.net.personalities]
> In article <1993Oct12.1...@aber.ac.uk>,
> Christopher Samuel <c...@aber.ac.uk> wrote:
> >
> > As for personalities what about Larry Wall and Kibo, to name two, for
> > whom the mearest mention of their name is enough to attract their
> > attention to a thread..
>
> Is *not*!
Aha, so you deny it! :-)
Do you mean you actually read alt.net.personalities then ?
Come to think of it, what *does* your .newsrc look like ? Do you *have*
a .newsrc, or do you just grep the spool and the talk NNTP at some poor
unsuspecting server ? :-)
> > Ahhhh, the seasonal joys of autumn, the fruit on the trees, the
> > leaves turning gold, the clueless postings of newbies.
>
> I'm going trolling soon. This should be good. Keep your eyes
> peeled for the largest newbie-fishing operation in history...
> This'll cause chaos.
[Cut to scene - a darkened terminal room - a newbie sits in a corner,
giggling inanely to himself. The tap-tap-tapping of
his fingers on the keyboard echoes in the empty room]
[Sound-track: repeated "duhhh-duh", starting off silently, slowly
building up to an orgiastic climax of cataclysmic
intensity. Guess which movie... ]
Newbie: K00L, this iS so NeaT. All THE5E ppl just wA1Ting for ME
tO Reach 0ut and touch them! Fnarr fnarr....
ALT - what a WAY to go, I caN do ANYthing!!!**!
[FX: In the distance we see a brief flurry activity as a door
opens and closes silently.. A terminal beeps quietly to itself
in the background. Now silence reigns apart from the tapping
of the newbie on the keyboard..]
Newbie: Pah - The5^Hse people need to be taught a les5on....
ThEY NEED to Be ShowN who's B055 around here!!!
AnD WHO Am 1 to DISSAPOint them????!??!???!
[FX: Again a door opens, a pretty young person of non-deterministic
sex wanders in, letting the door slam loudly behind it. Picks at
the red jumper it wears, oblivious to the horrifying connotations.
The newbie jumps, looks around and scowls at the newcomer before
returning to his terminal. The red-jumper walks over to a terminal,
sits and starts tapping away.]
Newbie: Hey - THERes a CooL gRoup Here, But iTs EMPTy. I WOndeR WhY
NO ONE posts Her3 - no PERsOnalitiES my GUESS!
HAH - I'LL FLamE THEM ANyWay! Bwahahahahaha...
[FX: The red jumper whimpers, then slowly slides away out of shot.
Camera tracks around to its terminal, they were reading news.
Pan down to the floor, where only the red stain of tomato
ketchup gives any indication of what happened. Pulling back
we see a half eaten burger nearby, and a bottle of Jolt Cola
rolling slowly away. An indistinct dark shape passes in front
of the camera briefly.]
Newbie: AHA! ANother BULLETin B0RED to add to MY C0LLECTION.
Hah - I'm better THaN B1FF! AnD When I can Figure out
why MY e-MAIL t0 HIM bounCES From THE BITNET RElaY I'lL
make HIM S0RRIE!
[Soundtrack: d(volume)/dt increases. Shuffling sounds in the distance.
The faint sound of someone shouting "stay out of the lab!"
and other disaster movie cliches.]
[FX: We now begin to see the first signs of impending doom in the
background, a quick glint of light of something polished, and
a dark, triangular object moving into shot from the left, just
visible above the row of monitors. It exits shot on the right
after about 10 seconds. Still the newbie is oblivious to
impending doom, even thought the music is getting quite loud.]
Newbie: HEY - S0MEON35 folloWeD Up MY POSTING.. I W0NDER WHat CLUELess
meanS ? HAh - I'LL b3 FAMOUS!! Wha...
[FX: Door bangs open loudly - a white haired old professor stumbles in,
clutching an ancient tome of somewhat dubious binding. He screams
a garbled warning about the power of the grep, before collapsing
out of shot due to suddenly realising he'd become a terminator
for a piece of "live" ethernet that materialised in his chest..]
[Soundtrack: Max. volume - definite sounds of movement panning in from
the left, as if someone is running into shot but faster
than Ben Johnson on speed and angel-dust.]
Newbie: Oh my god... it's ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[FX: Kibo springs into view, trailing a large net behind with which
he entraps the poor newbie. Scrambling around inside it as it
sweeps past the camera we see a collection of various other
scared looking newbies and a rather irate looking white shark,
who is rapidly coming to the conclusion that his trainer isn't
about to turn up, so perhaps it should go self-catering.]
[Soundtrack: dead silence - sound of panting in background.]
[FX: *very* suddenly Kibo's face appears upside down in shot,
as if he's dangling over the top of the camera.]
Kibo: Remember folks - don't try this at home, you'll get several
years for cruelty to sharks!
* T H E E N D *
(c) Smiley Productions Limited. :-)
Christopher Samuel
lw...@netlabs.com (Larry Wall) doodled:
> In article <1993Oct12.1...@aber.ac.uk>
> c...@aber.ac.uk (Christopher Samuel) writes:
[chomp]
> People think I'm a personality, but I'm really just personable.
Hey, you're far too modest for your own good, Larry.
With all that code under your belt, *and* time to read news,
*and* be good natured about it all, I think you should at least
be a personality.. So phrrpt!
> As to whether Kibo is a personality, I'll leave that to the
> theologians.
9 out of 10 theologians said their plants prefered Kibo.
Cheers!
Jerry N. Alexandratos
>[alt.net.personalities]
>In article <1993Oct12.1...@aber.ac.uk>,
>Christopher Samuel <c...@aber.ac.uk> wrote:
>>
>> As for personalities what about Larry Wall and Kibo, to name two, for
>> whom the mearest mention of their name is enough to attract their
>> attention to a thread..
>
There is only one way to prove this. I've heard that if you post it's name
three times, it appears in a poof of smoke... or is that a stinking cloud?
Well, I wanted to see if it actually will deliver the chaos it promised...
Trolling for newbies, huh? I heard those trolls eat the newbies without
even washing 'em. Ech. They say if you're not poisoned, you've got terminal
halitosis and permanent body odor. Hmmm... maybe we need not speculate
further. I just ate lunch.
Here goes...
Kibo.
Kibo.
Kibo.
*don firefighter gear* (for O2 supply and flame protection)
jna..
James Kibo Parry
In article <1993Oct14.2...@aber.ac.uk>,
Christopher Samuel <c...@aber.ac.uk> wrote:
>
> 9 out of 10 theologians said their plants prefered Kibo.
Plants exposed to Kibo tend to grow three feet overnight, usually
requiring Size 30 shoes. However, plants exposed to Larry Wall usually
get arrested for indecent exposure. YOU MAKE THE CALL!
Personally, I keep my plants where nothing will ever affect them--locked
away on alt.paranet.ufo. Some are even im-plants.
-- K.
Jerry N. Alexandratos
>> 9 out of 10 theologians said their plants prefered Kibo.
>Plants exposed to Kibo tend to grow three feet overnight, usually
>requiring Size 30 shoes. However, plants exposed to Larry Wall usually
>get arrested for indecent exposure. YOU MAKE THE CALL!
>Personally, I keep my plants where nothing will ever affect them--locked
>away on alt.paranet.ufo. Some are even im-plants.
No verbal comments...
I'll just hum the "Little Shop of Horrors" theme quietly in the background.
Larry Wall
: With all that code under your belt, *and* time to read news,
: *and* be good natured about it all, I think you should at least
: be a personality.. So phrrpt!
Okay then, I'm a personality. Now what?
Really, I want to be an im-personality. I need one of Kibie's im-plants.
Larry