a.m.p. rules of conduct
Michael Turner Grimes
1) Any band whose name you can successfully pronounce the first
time... SUCKS!! (Bands are extra-k00l if their names contain umlauts,
ampersands, tildes, hacheks, tonoses, or other foreign or non-ASCII
characters.)
2) Yes without Steve Howe... SUCKS!! Genesis without Peter Gabriel...
SUCKS!!* Marillion without Fish... SUCKS!!
3) The band's best song must be > 10 minutes long, and be in a time
signature x/8, where x is a prime number. If the time signature is
x/y where x and y are BOTH prime numbers, they SHRED!!
4) Anil Prasad, Dan Spalari, and Fish are all one person. So Fish
actually does have net access, as has been rumoured on the FREAKS
list.
5) If the band has ever been played on a radio station that broadcasts
at more than 50 watts, they SUCK!!
6) Every thread must eventually boil down to a discussion about Yes,
King Crimson, Rush, or Ozric Tentacles.
7) Trevor Rabin can bite me!! (See rule 2)
8) If the first time you heard of a band was not on a.m.p, they've
sold out and they SUCK!!
9) If any of your friends and/or family not on the net have ever heard
of the band... they SUCK!!
10) If a song has lyrics, the title of the song must not be contained
in the lyrics. However, if the song is an instrumental, the title can
be in the lyrics.
11) The band must use an instrument that cannot be found in any music
retail outfit (i.e. the Stick, ribbon controller, EWI6129 Model IIIc,
viola de gamba, Roland MIDI sitar, or synthaxe).
12) If you don't play a musical instrument, you SUCK!!
13) Even if you do play a musical instrument, you probably still SUCK!!
14) Boxed sets SUCK!! Any band that has ever or will ever put out a
boxed set SUCKS!! (Except for the Stromboli limited edition 4 CD
Ukrainian-only-release retrospective that was sent to two radio
stations in Kiev. They SHRED!!)
15) If the cover of a band's CD incorporates a monkey, a diaper, and a
hot water bottle, they SHRED!!
16) The bass instrument used by any band must have at least six
strings. Otherwise, they SUCK!!
17) The members of Yes have included many great artists: two
vocalists, three guitarists, two drummers, one bassist, three
keyboardists, and a dancer.
18) Bootlegs are very detrimental to the artists and do nothing but
harm the music industry. If a band doesn't have more bootlegs than
legitimate releases, they SUCK!!
19) If Anil, Ranjit, Mike Borella AND Mike McLatchey have all never
heard of a band, they fucking KICK ASS!!
20) Never contradict Anil.
If you adhere to these guidelines, you can avoid all flameage. You
MUST flame the hell out of anyone who breaks any of these rules.
Observations on a.m.p. by Mike Grimes and Kyle Wohlmut
Disclaimer: To paraphrase Johannes Brahms, 'If there is anyone we have
failed to offend, we do sincerely apologize.'
(*) There has been much recent speculation as to exactly when Genesis
went down the toilet. Many people avoid flameage by saying that
Genesis after Anthony Phillips, or Genesis after Steve Hackett...
SUCKS!! We, however, are of the opinion that when drummer John Mayhew
left the band, so did the real progressive spirit of Genesis, and
anything after Trespass... SUCKS!!
Buebl Felix
> time... SUCKS!! (Bands are extra-k00l if their names contain umlauts,
well, but e.g. "Commander Cody And His Lost Planet Airmen" SUCKS, too, but
has a quit progressive name.
> 3) The band's best song must be > 10 minutes long, and be in a time
> signature x/8, where x is a prime number. If the time signature is
> x/y where x and y are BOTH prime numbers, they SHRED!!
"x != 0 mod y" is a better rule - but only if (x > 42).
> 9) If any of your friends and/or family not on the net have ever heard
> of the band... they SUCK!!
now that's true!
> 13) Even if you do play a musical instrument, you probably still SUCK!!
no. I had 4 guitar lessons up to now, and I can play "T.N.T" and
"Back In Black" from AC/DC. I'm sure you all would like to hear me
playing these songs.
> 14) Boxed sets SUCK!! Any band that has ever or will ever put out a
> boxed set SUCKS!! (Except for the Stromboli limited edition 4 CD
> Ukrainian-only-release retrospective that was sent to two radio
> stations in Kiev. They SHRED!!)
you forgot my Henry Cow limited 1250 edition signed by Fred Frith box.
Felix
Serdar Uckun
>The 20 rules of conduct for a.m.p. (or, which bands you should like):
>
>1) Any band whose name you can successfully pronounce the first
>time... SUCKS!! (Bands are extra-k00l if their names contain umlauts,
>ampersands, tildes, hacheks, tonoses, or other foreign or non-ASCII
>characters.)
>
Well, all this time I've been wanting to start a M\"ot\"rhead thread here :-)
You forgot to mention the prime directive:
* The mission of a.m.p. is to disseminate information about Tony Kaye
and Trevor Rabin. Any sufficiently long thread must slowly converge
into a debate about the aforementioned individuals. You will be assimilated.
Wakeman is irrelevant. Resistance is ... useless (now here's a Kalaban
plug :-)
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
uc...@HPP.Stanford.EDU
Serdar Uckun, Knowledge Systems Lab., Stanford University, Palo Alto, CA
------------------------------------------------------------------------
James Bender
>2) Yes without Steve Howe... SUCKS!! Genesis without Peter Gabriel...
>SUCKS!!* Marillion without Fish... SUCKS!!
What about Rush without John Rutsey????
>3) The band's best song must be > 10 minutes long, and be in a time
>signature x/8, where x is a prime number. If the time signature is
>x/y where x and y are BOTH prime numbers, they SHRED!!
Rule 3.a) If a song is not 10 minutes or more, it must be shorter that 45
seconds, and segue immediatly into a 10 minute song.
>11) The band must use an instrument that cannot be found in any music
>retail outfit (i.e. the Stick, ribbon controller, EWI6129 Model IIIc,
>viola de gamba, Roland MIDI sitar, or synthaxe).
How about the Tangenian elephant butt flute??
>12) If you don't play a musical instrument, you SUCK!!
Drums are only considered an instrument if you have so many that
you have to be dropped from a helicopter down into your kit. And then,
only if you have double bass, and a marimba.
>13) Even if you do play a musical instrument, you probably still SUCK!!
Unless your grunge, in which case your harolded by "main-stream"
media as genius, even though you cant play a simple riff without choking
half the notes.
>16) The bass instrument used by any band must have at least six
>strings. Otherwise, they SUCK!!
I once saw a 12 string bass. No joke, I just wanted to tell everyone.
>If you adhere to these guidelines, you can avoid all flameage. You
>MUST flame the hell out of anyone who breaks any of these rules.
You forgot one:
21) In any peice of music, at least 30% of the chords must be of some kind
of augmented/diminished,6/9#11,freaky extended note thing. The bass player
must NEVER play a note that is actually found in the chord. Any group
that uses 5th chords SUCKS!!!
--
*******************************************************************************
* From: James B * "Life is a diamond you turn into dust." *
* jam...@nevada.edu * -- N. Peart *
*******************************************************************************
Scott McMahan -- Genesis mailing list owner
Rule #22: there is only *one* Tony Kaye fan in the entire universe,
Scott McMahan.
Rule #23: People who discuss Billy Idle and U2 on a.m.p. .... SUCK!!!
Rule #24: the autoharp is *not* considered a progressive instrument
Rule #25: no band can be progressive unless one song > 10 minutes has
used a mellotron as a key instrument
Corollary to #25: a sample or Vintage Keys doesn't count, this has to
be an actual mellotron
Rule #26: Steve Howe can't sing
Rule #27: GTR and Asia are NOT PROGRESSIVE
we could go on forever.
Scott
Daniel Scott Casey
>>15) If the cover of a band's CD incorporates a monkey, a diaper, and a
>>hot water bottle, they SHRED!!
Oh, yea...
That reminds me, I haven't listened to that album in almost 4 days
now... time to run home, crank up disc2 track1 (d.w.a.) and let
that organ-destruction solo rip!!! :-) :-)
(mees be wondering exactly how many people really know what
I am talking about here, besides the obvious group of well-educated
Californians including Borella, Thelen, Santra, McLatchey, et. al...)
Dan Casey
p.s. what the hell is SHRED????????????
Rifle River
gri...@leland.Stanford.EDU (Michael Turner Grimes) wrote:
>
>
> 7) Trevor Rabin can bite me!! (See rule 2)
>
Trevor never wanted to be part of Yes. He wanted his own band.
>
> 17) The members of Yes have included many great artists: two
> vocalists, three guitarists, two drummers, one bassist, three
> keyboardists, and a dancer.
Vocalists: Anderson
Squire
Guitarists: Howe
Rabin
Banks
Drummers: Bruford
White
Bassist: Squire
Keyboard: Wakeman
Moraz
Kaye
Dancer: Who in the world?
> I don't get it!
+++++++++++++++ |
Rifle River | cash value 1/20th of a cent
jst...@girch1.med.uth.tmc.edu | void where prohibited
|
Kyle Wohlmut
>Rule #22: there is only *one* Tony Kaye fan in the entire universe,
>Scott McMahan.
See special Yes rules of conduct supplement (message pending release
due to contractual obligations)
>Rule #23: People who discuss Billy Idle and U2 on a.m.p. .... SUCK!!!
Guess that about covers it...
>Rule #25: no band can be progressive unless one song > 10 minutes has
>used a mellotron as a key instrument
I think you mean to say 'three mellotrons'
>
>Corollary to #25: a sample or Vintage Keys doesn't count, this has to
>be an actual mellotron
>
>Rule #27: GTR and Asia are NOT PROGRESSIVE
>
>we could go on forever.
>
Gee, I pronounced both of those right first time, guess we don't need
that rule after all
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
/
/''' Kyle Wohlmut - 'Heute back ich, morgen brau ich, und
c-OO / uebermorgen hol ich mir der Koenigin ihr
\ (Actual size) - Kind. Ach, wie gut dass niemand weiss,
- <=- / dass ich ky...@csli.stanford.EDU heiss.'
-
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Kyle Wohlmut
>In article <1993Jul7.0...@leland.Stanford.EDU>,
>gri...@leland.Stanford.EDU (Michael Turner Grimes) wrote:
>>
>>
>> 7) Trevor Rabin can bite me!! (See rule 2)
>>
>
>Trevor never wanted to be part of Yes. He wanted his own band.
>
And it shows.
>>
>> 17) The members of Yes have included many great artists: two
>> vocalists, three guitarists, two drummers, one bassist, three
>> keyboardists, and a dancer.
>
>Vocalists: Anderson
> Squire
>
>Guitarists: Howe
> Rabin
> Banks
>
>Drummers: Bruford
> White
>
>Bassist: Squire
>
>Keyboard: Wakeman <=- [this is the key
> Moraz <=- section!!!]
> Kaye <=-
>
>Dancer: Who in the world?
>> I don't get it!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
We didn't think you would... guess you better make that two, Mr. McMahon...
Scott McMahan -- Genesis mailing list owner
: Trevor never wanted to be part of Yes. He wanted his own band.
None of them wanted to be part of Yes, it was a record company
sales tactic to change Cinema to Yes.
: Vocalists: Anderson
: Squire
Forgot one: HOWE!!!
Scott
gary l. schroeder
>* The mission of a.m.p. is to disseminate information about Tony Kaye
>and Trevor Rabin. Any sufficiently long thread must slowly converge
>into a debate about the aforementioned individuals. You will be assimilated.
>Wakeman is irrelevant. Resistance is ... useless (now here's a Kalaban
>plug :-)
I heard that Tevor Rabin is illegitamate. Didn't Tony Kaye once spill
his drink on Rick Wakeman in a posh restaurant on purpose as a way of
thumbing his nose at him? Well, that's what I heard, anyway.
--
--------------
Gary Schroeder
schr...@bnlux1.bnl.gov
Brookhaven National Laboratory
Rifle River
> : Squire
>
> Forgot one: HOWE!!!
Forgot another vocalist: RABIN!!!
I know I left off the Buggles (TH and GD) but please someone tell me what
is meant by a DANCER in Yes.
Adam Levin
The above line should include several hundred smileys coming from the guy
who believes that Dream Theater is progressive rock.
-Adam
--
The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
internet: laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Owen Duncan Smith
you will find next to the word SHRED:
"a) to tear out various wires from the back of your Hammond during a solo
at the beginning of an otherwise fairly sonorous piece, and have the
solo inadvertently be put on record."
i.e. if it's a Hammond but doesn't sound like one, it must SHRED.
Thus, the definition literally translates into rule 15.
However, the copy I have has another definition scrawled in the margin:
"b) to stop in the middle of a crazed out solo just long enough to
eat an apple. If the action of eating an apple is transformed into art,
it SHREDs."
Next to this, of course, it says, "I have found the perfect example of
this but don't have any room in the margin to write the name of the
band or the song..."
However, my question is: Does an album with a sock on the cover KNIT?
Hm, most ponderous.
(Even ponderous can be found in the Authoritative Progressive
Dictionary; anybody care to guess what band is cross-referenced there?)
This is all just more progressive trivia for the lyrically spent, I guess...
l8r -- orp...@leland.stanford.edu
"All things are a part." -- C'mon Peter, you can get this one! :)
A Suffusion of Yellow
And so he got it.
>Vocalists: Anderson
> Squire
>etc.
What about the Buggles?
Mustn't forget the Buggles!
>Dancer: Who in the world?
> I don't get it!
Neither do I.
So who's the dancer?
Michael Turner Grimes
>I believe if you look in the Authoritative Progressive Dictionary
>you will find next to the word SHRED:
>
>However, my question is: Does an album with a sock on the cover KNIT?
>Hm, most ponderous.
>(Even ponderous can be found in the Authoritative Progressive
>Dictionary; anybody care to guess what band is cross-referenced there?)
>
An album with a sock on the cover KNITS if the sock is made of cotton.
If, however, the sock is made of some type of wire or plastic, the
album contains a Pixophone (See Rule 11), and the artist is the
Antartican mainstay HEi^NRICH' B0VINE,...it SHREDS!!
Michael T.
Michael Turner Grimes
>
>>Dancer: Who in the world?
>> I don't get it!
>
>Neither do I.
>So who's the dancer?
>
YES at Union-type gigs. He complements finely the musical efforts of
2 drummers, 2 guitarists, 1 vocalist, 1 bassist, and 1 keyboardist as
he twists and twirls to his heart's content.
(Kyle's reference to Scott's post should have been a dead give-away.
I guess this makes three now Kyle and Scott!)
Mike
kenneth.lang
--
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
** Ken Lang kal...@cbnewsk.cb.att.com AT&T *
*"The dust blows forward and the dust blows back on the toads of the *
* short forest and every newt in Idaho."- A sampling of Don Van Vliet & FZ*
Jeff Preston
In a previous article, kal...@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (kenneth.lang) says:
>So much hostility !!! What exactly does "SHREDS" mean anyway ??
I was wondering that myself. Legato Records president Mark Varney
used this term interchangeably with the term "reams," meaning "to play
guitar at a high rate of speed." I do not hesitate to tell you that
during my conversation with Mr. Varney, I burst out laughing (trying very
hard to stifle such outbursts, out of politeness) several times at the
mention of either term. :)
Jeff
--
Jeff Preston =*= Moderator of the Allan Holdsworth discussion forum
=*= =*= atava...@msuacad.morehead-st.edu =*=
Mike ONeal
If you are counting yes keyboardists, you should be at 4, not 3
Wakeman
Moraz
Downes
Kaye
(not necessarily in that order)
And you have to count Trevor Horn as a vocalist and bass player too.
You could even through in Jobson as the fifth keyboardist if you were
really anal (that's not the same as anil, by the way)
-Mike
(what a neat thread this is)
Scott McMahan -- Genesis mailing list owner
: >You forgot one: Only I can say what is and is NOT PROGRESSIVE!
: The above line should include several hundred smileys coming from the guy
: who believes that Dream Theater is progressive rock.
The NOT PROGRESSIVE business is actually an inside joke...
Although I do like Dream Theater. They're as progressive as you'll
get in mainstream commercial AOR albums these days :^) x 100
Scott
Kyle Wohlmut
"Non Brewed Condiment" Preston) writes:
>
>In a previous article, kal...@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (kenneth.lang) says:
>
>>So much hostility !!! What exactly does "SHREDS" mean anyway ??
>
> I was wondering that myself. Legato Records president Mark Varney
>used this term interchangeably with the term "reams," meaning "to play
>guitar at a high rate of speed." I do not hesitate to tell you that
>during my conversation with Mr. Varney, I burst out laughing (trying very
>hard to stifle such outbursts, out of politeness) several times at the
>mention of either term. :)
>
Yes, as is well documented in the annals of progressive music, 'shred'
has been used synonymously with 'ream,' 'rip,' 'jam,' 'smoke,' and
many others in various contexts, but meaning essentially 'to play
really fast.' Certainly the term was in common use by the time the
abovementioned Mr. Varney put out a record entitled 'Truth in
Shredding' as part of his MVP project, featuring Frank "Mr. Sweep"
Gambale and Allan "The Brewer" Holdsworth. Though in all actuality,
despite the presence of The Brewer, this album SUCKS!! They should
have called it 'Truth in Sweeping,' and then swept it out with the
rest of the trash in the garage! (See rules 3, 6, 10, 11, 15, 16, and
19.)
Mike ONeal
Also, in snowboarding jargon, if something shreds, it means it was very good.
Sort of the opposite of sucks. Which does seem to be how it was used here.
So are you guys who started this whole mess snowboarders?
-mike
Chris Cowan
|> > 17) The members of Yes have included many great artists: two
|> > vocalists, three guitarists, two drummers, one bassist, three
|> > keyboardists, and a dancer.
|>
|> Vocalists: Anderson
|> Squire
|>
|> Guitarists: Howe
|> Rabin
|> Banks
|>
|> Drummers: Bruford
|> White
|>
|> Bassist: Squire
|>
|> Keyboard: Wakeman
|> Moraz
|> Kaye
There's a vocalist and keyboardist missing from this list!
--
Chris Cowan
----------------------------------------
Internet: c...@austin.ibm.com
IBM VNET: cc at austin
James Wolf
|> The above line should include several hundred smileys coming from the guy
|> who believes that Dream Theater is progressive rock.
|>
That must be me. DT is definitely progressive rock and I know I'm not the only
one who believes. They aren't "Progressive" using the definintion that a.m.p.
caters to (as I've found out), but they are every bit as complex and virtuousic
as the "Progressive" bands talked about most frequently here.
As to whether several hundred smileys should be included, that isn't necessary.
I can, in fact, recognize a tongue-in-cheek thread when I see it and I actually
think it's quite funny. So maybe you shouldn't be so POMPOUS in the future
Mr. Adam "Mixolydian" Levin.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wolf Man
Adam Neil Villani
Boy, are you guys living in a dungeon, or what? Is SHRED just a regionalism or
something... I'm no snowboarder, but I know what it means...
Adam Neil Villani
album, and thought it was a rip off, I spent 29 cents on "3 to the power of
three", and I think I was ripped off!!
Man, that album is bad!
So, time for a new thread... what do you think is the worst stuff put out by
otherwise good prog artists?
A few nominees...
Adrian Belew... The Bears "Rise and Shine"
Robert Fripp... Blondie "Atomic"
etc...
Adam
Adam Levin
>|> The above line should include several hundred smileys coming from the guy
>|> who believes that Dream Theater is progressive rock.
>
>That must be me. DT is definitely progressive rock and I know I'm not the only
>one who believes.
Hmm. Than why didn't anyone defend that point when I posted my long
message explaining why I believe that Dream Theater is NOT progressive rock
two weeks ago? The only responses I got were from people who agreed with me.
> They aren't "Progressive" using the definintion that a.m.p.
>caters to (as I've found out),
"caters to"? Well, obviously we all must be wrong if you don't condescend
to agree with the majority.
> but they are every bit as complex and virtuousic
>as the "Progressive" bands talked about most frequently here.
Piffle. Just because they can play their instruments with some skill doesn't
mean they're progressive rock. I never said they weren't skilled, I said
they weren't progressive rock.
Yankme Malmsteen is complex and virtuostic, but he's not a progressive rock
musician.
Both leave me cold.
>As to whether several hundred smileys should be included, that isn't necessary.
>I can, in fact, recognize a tongue-in-cheek thread when I see it and I actually
>think it's quite funny.
It's interesting that the person who my original comment was directed too
replied to it with good humour. Maybe your humour is a little one-sided?
> So maybe you shouldn't be so POMPOUS in the future
>Mr. Adam "Mixolydian" Levin.
Who peed in your corn flakes, Mr James. "Anal-retentive-overly-touchy-
thesaurus-bearing" Wolf?
Suggestion: Pull out your dictionary, read the definition of "POMPOUS"
and reread your message.
Tilman Burmester
Michael, I thought you were joking when I read your article for the 1st time.
Then suddenly:
: Genesis without Peter Gabriel... SUCKS!!
Actually that's the truth! ;-)
: 11) The band must use an instrument that cannot be found in any music
: retail outfit (i.e. the Stick, ribbon controller, EWI6129 Model IIIc,
: viola de gamba, Roland MIDI sitar, or synthaxe).
Hey, you forgot Van der Graaf's ``Psychodelic Razor''!
42) If your the name of your site has nothing to do with your favourite
progressive record, you SUCK!!
--
/~~~~ Tilman Burmester, Hildesheim, Germany, +49 5121 131232 (voice) ~~~~\
( EMail: ti...@aspic.han.de (private site) )
\__________ tbur...@rz.uni-hildesheim.de (university) __________________/
"What's good? Life's good - But not fair at all." (Lou Reed)
Serdar Uckun
>So, time for a new thread... what do you think is the worst stuff put out by
>otherwise good prog artists?
GTR -- GTR (Howe and Hackett should qualify as prog)
Mike Rutherford -- anything after Smallcreep's Day
ELP -- Love Beach
Yes -- Onion (sic: that's what Rick Wakeman calls it)
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
uc...@HPP.Stanford.EDU
Serdar Uckun, Knowledge Systems Lab., Stanford University, Palo Alto, CA
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daniel Brown
>otherwise good prog artists?
I know that some of you here may disagree, but I think that Greg Lake's
_Nuclear Attack_ (1980) is a contender. Also that Patrick Moraz and Syrinx
album.
--
Daniel W. Brown (br...@pollux.cs.uga.edu, dbr...@ai.uga.edu)
"From each as they choose, to each as they are chosen"
-- Robert Nozick
Jim Harkins
>one who believes.
Sigh. I must be in the minority. I've got both DT CDs and love them both.
But they ain't in the least bit progressive outside of the fact that their
songs are longer than 3 minutes. Then again, I never thought Rush was
progressive either (donning asbestos underwear). However, I never did like
Rush all that much anyway (removing asbestos underwear, it ain't gonna
help a bit).
jim
--
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming
in terror like his passengers."
Jim Harkins jhar...@netcom.com (preferred)
San Diego, CA. j...@pacdata.com (!preferred)
Ola Rinta-Koski
>I know that some of you here may disagree, but I think that Greg Lake's
>_Nuclear Attack_ (1980) is a contender.
Haven't heard "Nuclear Attack", but it CAN'T be worse than
"Manoeuvres" which I think he put out just after NA.
--
FASCINATIN' NEW MEXICO FACT: 2/3 of the seniors graduating from the Wagon
Mound, NM high school in 1988 were named Michelle! By the way, the population
of the village of Wagon Mound is 390 persons. The total number of seniors in
the Class of '88 was 3. Two of them were named Michelle. //o...@vipunen.hut.fi
Michael Turner Grimes
>Michael Turner Grimes (gri...@leland.Stanford.EDU) told us:
>
>Michael, I thought you were joking when I read your article for the 1st time.
>Then suddenly:
>
>: Genesis without Peter Gabriel... SUCKS!!
>
>Actually that's the truth! ;-)
>
Once he left, their inspiration was lost forever.
>: 11) The band must use an instrument that cannot be found in any music
>: retail outfit (i.e. the Stick, ribbon controller, EWI6129 Model IIIc,
>: viola de gamba, Roland MIDI sitar, or synthaxe).
>
>Hey, you forgot Van der Graaf's ``Psychodelic Razor''!
>
Nice Effort!!
>42) If your the name of your site has nothing to do with your favourite
>progressive record, you SUCK!!
True.
But is yours just one record? That's OK for sweepers, but not SHREDDERS!!
> /~~~~ Tilman Burmester, Hildesheim, Germany,
> ( EMail: ti...@aspic.han.de (private site) <=========
> \__________ tbur...@rz.uni-hildesheim.de (university) <=========
Just for the record, gri...@leland.stanford.edu is my "university" site.
My real site account is SHRED!!@enneagram.soli.calyx.groon.tumeninotes.
incomudro.nevermore.fugazi.perfectionist.
nonbrewed.tank.awaken.you...SUCK!!
Jeff Preston
In a previous article, ky...@Csli.Stanford.EDU (Kyle Wohlmut) says:
>Yes, as is well documented in the annals of progressive music, 'shred'
>has been used synonymously with 'ream,' 'rip,' 'jam,' 'smoke,' and
>many others in various contexts, but meaning essentially 'to play
>really fast.' Certainly the term was in common use by the time the
>abovementioned Mr. Varney put out a record entitled 'Truth in
>Shredding' as part of his MVP project, featuring Frank "Mr. Sweep"
>Gambale and Allan "The Brewer" Holdsworth. Though in all actuality,
>despite the presence of The Brewer, this album SUCKS!! They should
>have called it 'Truth in Sweeping,' and then swept it out with the
>rest of the trash in the garage! (See rules 3, 6, 10, 11, 15, 16, and
>19.)
I must agree that _Truth In Shredding_ has an exceedingly high
schmooze factor, but I'm not quite ready to toss it to the recycling
bin just yet. I take some comfort in knowing that Mr. H. receives a
little slice of the pie on sales of the album. Maybe that'll help
keep him afloat long enough to make up for it. ;)
Erik Welty
>In article <21i4kh$n...@crchh327.bnr.ca> jw...@crchh882.NoSubdomain.NoDomain (James Wolf) writes:
>>That must be me. DT is definitely progressive rock and I know I'm not the only
>>one who believes.
>
>Sigh. I must be in the minority. I've got both DT CDs and love them both.
>But they ain't in the least bit progressive outside of the fact that their
>songs are longer than 3 minutes. Then again, I never thought Rush was
>progressive either (donning asbestos underwear). However, I never did like
>Rush all that much anyway (removing asbestos underwear, it ain't gonna
>help a bit).
>
brings a level of complexity and depth that is nearly unheard of in the
metal and HARD rock arena (rather like Rush). However, I can see where
it irritates some of the posters of this newsgroup to see them hailed
as progressive rock. I've been getting into a number of the progressive
bands that are popular with this newsgroup (KC, Marillion, etc) and I've
noticed that DT has a vastly different flavor than the bulk of the
groups discussed here. DT is METAL. That said, it is the most progressive
METAL that I have come across.
Later,
Erik Welty e...@mcc.com
Scott McMahan -- Genesis mailing list owner
: I know that some of you here may disagree, but I think that Greg Lake's
: _Nuclear Attack_ (1980) is a contender.
I disagree -- I think Nuclear Attack is a *great* song, albeit no
longer really relevant.
Scott
Rifle River
+++++++++++++++ |
Rifle River | cash value 1/20th of a cent
jst...@girch1.med.uth.tmc.edu | void where prohibited
+++++++++++++++ |
Is it possible to have two separate categories Michael?
Progressive music
Progressive rock
I wouldn't want to amend the rules without asking first. I would never
label a group like King Crimson as progressive ROCK. But, it is generally
agreed that progressive music is an accurate label.
Dream Theater has put out some good rock which is definitely not
progressive music. But they should be considered separate from other
groups with similar styles because they have a vocalist who actually SINGS.
-RR
Humor is a good thing.
Treat it as a good thing! Treat it as a good good thing!! -JA
kenneth.lang
>album, and thought it was a rip off, I spent 29 cents on "3 to the power of
>three", and I think I was ripped off!!
>
>Man, that album is bad!
>
>So, time for a new thread... what do you think is the worst stuff put out by
>otherwise good prog artists?
Oh where do I begin !!!
Bankstatement / Bankstatement {Tony Banks & Steve Hillage}
Bruford & Moraz / Flags
Emerson Lake & Powell
Wishbone Ash / IRS No Speak Series
Allan Holdsworth / Secrets {I think my copy [ a demo ] may have been a little
screwy...but I still cannot get into this}
Jean-Luc Ponty / Tchokola {Ponty jumps on the bandwagon with an African-esque
album}
NOTE: All of the above albums have at best ONE good tune on them, but the rest
sounds like filler -- contractual obligation type stuff.
Let the flames begin.
kenneth.lang
>In article <21ilpp...@gap.caltech.edu> ad...@cco.caltech.edu (Adam Neil Villani) writes:
>>So, time for a new thread... what do you think is the worst stuff put out by
>>otherwise good prog artists?
>
>I know that some of you here may disagree, but I think that Greg Lake's
>_Nuclear Attack_ (1980) is a contender. Also that Patrick Moraz and Syrinx
>album.
I agree wholeheartedly with the latter. What was Moraz thinking ?? I applaud
his thoughts that it would be somewhat groundbreaking to record a prog album
using nothing but keyboards and pan flute ... but the result is BORING.
Now, if Moraz had recorded with Zamfir [the Master of the Pan Flute], that
would have been an album! :-)
Mike Porter
>But they ain't in the least bit progressive outside of the fact that their
>songs are longer than 3 minutes. Then again, I never thought Rush was
>progressive either (donning asbestos underwear). However, I never did like
>Rush all that much anyway (removing asbestos underwear, it ain't gonna
>help a bit).
DON'T LIKE RUSH??!?? Well, FLAME FLAMEDY-FLAME FLAME, you FLAMING FLAMER of
FLAMES on a FLAMING FLAMEDY-FLAMEDY FLAME!!! Actually, I DO like Rush, but I
consider them only marginally progressive. They test the boundaries very in-
frequently (like Hemispheres), but they're still a good band.
---Michael...
David Covell - EPG
>>So, time for a new thread... what do you think is the worst stuff put out by
>>otherwise good prog artists?
>
> screwy...but I still cannot get into this}
wife or what?) and played a few less of those "blown-in-the-breeze" chords
it would be tolerable. This has been my only exposure to Allan and quite
disappointing; given the high esteem he has among my fellow guitarists I
assume this album is not representative of his work. True? If so, what
would be a better pick?
Jeff Preston
In a previous article, kal...@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (kenneth.lang) says:
>>So, time for a new thread... what do you think is the worst stuff put out by
>>otherwise good prog artists?
>Oh where do I begin !!!
>Bankstatement / Bankstatement {Tony Banks & Steve Hillage}
>Bruford & Moraz / Flags
>Emerson Lake & Powell
>Wishbone Ash / IRS No Speak Series
>Allan Holdsworth / Secrets {I think my copy [ a demo ] may have been a little
> screwy...but I still cannot get into this}
_Secrets_ is far from my favorite, too, but then again I would not
consider it a progressive rock album, nor would I consider Holdsworth
a progressive rock artist. Others will no doubt disagree, but to my
ears there are many more elements of jazz found in Holdsworth's music
when compared to the "average" (i.e. most-often-discussed here) prog
rock band.
Jeff Preston
In a previous article, dco...@frx702.intel.com (David Covell - EPG) says:
>>Allan Holdsworth / Secrets {I think my copy [ a demo ] may have been a little
>> screwy...but I still cannot get into this}
> I heartily agree! Maybe if he deleted the airy female vocals (is that his
> wife or what?) and played a few less of those "blown-in-the-breeze" chords
> it would be tolerable. This has been my only exposure to Allan and quite
> disappointing; given the high esteem he has among my fellow guitarists I
> assume this album is not representative of his work. True? If so, what
> would be a better pick?
The vocalist you refer to is Rowanne Mark, who is not his wife (although
his wife *does* make an appearance on "Peril Premonition" as the woman who
says in French (loosely translated), "Hello, it's the maid... I've come to
make up the room...").
Going from your statement about "blown-in-the-breeze" chords, I doubt you
will find Allan's solo material to your liking. It is difficult to make
further suggestions without some insights into your other musical tastes.
Feel free to e-mail me with more details about your likes and dislikes in
music, and perhaps I can be of more help.
Scott Sloka
> Emerson Lake & Powell
(regarding bad stuff by prog guys)
I like this project! It may not be as progressive as any of the other work that
they have been involved in, but it is a great album just to listen to. Emerson's
piano pieces, especially on the latter half of the track list, are great listening
songs. It really sounds like he loves to play, which I perceive as being a great
plus in any piece. And the chording is a more Jazz-based approach. Just my two
cents worth.
-S
joseph.j.holahan
Emerson, Lake & Powell; I don't where the idea came from to replace
Carl Palmer with Powell. Powell's style was not meant for a prog band.
Too much heavy rock influence I think. I got tired of hearing him pounding
on the "Mars" track (from Holst's Planets).
Joe Holahan
kenneth.lang
>In article <C9wI6...@cbnewsk.cb.att.com> kal...@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (kenneth.lang) writes:
>>>otherwise good prog artists?
>>
>> screwy...but I still cannot get into this}
> I heartily agree! Maybe if he deleted the airy female vocals (is that his
> wife or what?) and played a few less of those "blown-in-the-breeze" chords
> it would be tolerable. This has been my only exposure to Allan and quite
> disappointing; given the high esteem he has among my fellow guitarists I
> assume this album is not representative of his work. True? If so, what
> would be a better pick?
Gong / Gazeuse is a very good jazzy prog rock album that features Allan on
some pretty amazing guitar solos. Other musicians on the album include
Pierre & Benoit Moerlen and Mireille Bauer.
Clark Battle
>#19) If Anil, Ranjit, Mike Borella AND Mike McLatchey have all never
>heard of a band, they fucking KICK ASS!!
How about "The Divided Alien Clockwork Band"?
Has ANYONE ever heard of them?
They were a Canterbury group who never put out a record!
(bootleg recordings are rumored to exist)
Ken Grant
favorable reviews. Of the 9 reviews none questioned their being in the
survey. Most were very positive. One was negative. A few excerpts below.
** The best heavy progressive band out now. Imagine Yes/Dregs style
** played faster. They have all the earmarks of a great band...the talent,
** the timechanges and the songwriting ability are superb.
** Dream Theatre: One of the definitive prog-metal groups around -- like
** ... Two albums: Both are very good.
** "Images and Words" is the best thing to come out of 1992. They boldly
** carry mainstream progressive rock into the next phase of its evolution.
** .... I would classify this as AOR with a progressive bent, ...
** .... Considering song structures, ideas and energy, they are definitely
** progressive, ...
Enough to convince me they ought to be called progressive.
Ken Grant, k...@misha.math.nd.edu
> Later,
> Erik Welty e...@mcc.com
>
Anil Prasad
I've heard of them, and therefore, according to Mr. Malevolent's
a.m.p. rule #19, THEY SUCK.
Anil Prasad
wcs...@ccs.carleton.ca
Clark Battle
these mechanical solos like he came staight out of GIT
and is subsequently BLOWN OFF THE ALBUM when Allan starts
to play. Has anyone not fallen asleep on Frank Gamblowme's
solo on the first track and then awaken to hear him humilliated
by Allan! It is, as the art people say, a study in contrasts.
Mike Borella
>In article <21hlhc$i...@csi.jpl.nasa.gov> on...@csi.jpl.nasa.gov (Mike ONeal) writes:
>>
>>Also, in snowboarding jargon, if something shreds, it means it was very good.
>>Sort of the opposite of sucks. Which does seem to be how it was used here.
>>So are you guys who started this whole mess snowboarders?
>>-mike
>>
>
>Boy, are you guys living in a dungeon, or what? Is SHRED just a regionalism or
>something... I'm no snowboarder, but I know what it means...
>
>
I think its a California-ism. At least I never heard it before I
moved here. Its how I got introduced to Ozric. "They really shred!"
Mike
Mike Borella
>So, time for a new thread... what do you think is the worst stuff put out by
>otherwise good prog artists?
How about good stuff by prog guys? How about prog bands that broke up
before they put out a bad album? How about prog bands that have been
together for more than ten years and have never put out a bad album?
What about conjectures on the likelihood of Mike McLatchey becoming an
IQ groupie?
-Mike
Mike Borella
So as soon as I've even heard of a band, they suck?
Makes me wonder why I listen to all the stuff I do.
-Mike
Fakhr M. Waleed
>In article <jstream-07...@129.106.4.46> jst...@girch1.med.uth.tmc.edu (Rifle River) writes:
>
>|> > 17) The members of Yes have included many great artists: two
>|> > vocalists, three guitarists, two drummers, one bassist, three
>|> > keyboardists, and a dancer.
>|>
>|> Vocalists: Anderson
>|> Squire
>|>
>|> Guitarists: Howe
>|> Rabin
>|> Banks
>|>
>|> Drummers: Bruford
>|> White
>|>
>|> Bassist: Squire
>|>
>|> Keyboard: Wakeman
>|> Moraz
>|> Kaye
>
>There's a vocalist and keyboardist missing from this list!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>--
>Chris Cowan
>----------------------------------------
>Internet: c...@austin.ibm.com
>IBM VNET: cc at austin
Yes.., as usual every one tends to forget Trevor Horn (Vocal)
and Geoff Downes (keyboard)...on Drama..?
Waleed
Michael Turner Grimes
>
>Is it possible to have two separate categories Michael?
>
>Progressive music
>Progressive rock
>
>I wouldn't want to amend the rules without asking first. I would never
>label a group like King Crimson as progressive ROCK. But, it is generally
>agreed that progressive music is an accurate label.
>
for bands such as The Cure, The The, ...etc, so "progressive rock" has been
used to prevent any misunderstanding that might occur if "pm" was used, even
though some "progressive rock" acts don't necessarily always ROCK!!
KC certainly has a diverse selection of tunes and styles.
However, can you listen to "Red" and say that doesn't ROCK!!!!?
Michael T.
P.S. The rules are written in stone and can *never* be amended!!
Michael Turner Grimes
At the risk of breaking rule #20, I will point out that rule #19 makes no
assertions about the quality of bands which the previously-mentioned dudes
*have* heard about. However, this is not to say that they don't...SUCK!!
("they" meaning The Divided Alien Clockwork Band) Rule #1 may discount
"TDACB" WAY before even reaching rule #19, unless you had to say their name
20 times in a row really quickly.
Mr. Benevolent
William W Stone
Or how about bad stuff that your embarassed to let other people
know that you like? Wakeman's Center of the Earth or Arthur...
I remember turning the volume down if I knew anyone was approach-
ing. Some of Peter Hammill's more heartfelt worblings also come
to mind...
--
"The stock footage owls are not what they seem..."
Adam Neil Villani
OK, how about the remixes of LEAVE IT and OWNER OF A LONELY HEART. Those are
really bad, yet strangely appealing. Perhaps there are subliminal messages in
them saying "Remixes Good... Intelligence Bad... Dance yo Ass Ass Off"
Adam
Oliver B. Warzecha
: OK, how about the remixes of LEAVE IT and OWNER OF A LONELY HEART. Those are
: really bad, yet strangely appealing. Perhaps there are subliminal messages in
: them saying "Remixes Good... Intelligence Bad... Dance yo Ass Ass Off"
In fact I was really disappointed, when I bought the maxisingle of
"Owner Of A Lonely Heart" back in '83 at the delicate age of 15
(calculate, calculate...;-). I really liked the song, it kicked ass,
and then "Doo,doo,doo,do,do,doo..." and so on and on...
What a terrible experience. I was glad to find the original version on the
b-side. And I always bought 12"-singles due to the superior sound and
because I (normally) loved those extended versions.
(rule #3 the one with the >10mins, proggie from earliest youth ;)
Slainte Mhath!
OBW
"...Qeyonderoubo...only you were able to face the stranger with the
complicated name Reginald Bull..." Perry Rhodan Chronicles, Vol. 1646
Jurriaan Hage
>From: mcm...@etowah.cs.unca.edu (Scott McMahan -- Genesis mailing list owner)
>Subject: Re: Bad Stuff by prog guys
>Date: 9 Jul 1993 13:11:05 GMT
Well, I would like to add an album:
Wetton and Manzenera. These two guys should be in a position to make some
good music but they didn't. I think that the Lake album contains at least
a good song and I also think the Syrinx album is reasonable. What I really
loathe is Timecode.
Jurriaan Hage
>From: ad...@cco.caltech.edu (Adam Neil Villani)
>Subject: Re: Bad Stuff by prog guys
And what do y'all think of _Rock 'n roll prophet_ or _Rhapsodies_ by our big
bearded friend. Funny, the note on the former said that it takes an album
like this to find out who his friends are, probably because nobody wanted
to release it.
Jurriaan
Red Sonja
>In article <jstream-07...@129.106.4.46> jst...@girch1.med.uth.tmc.edu (Rifle River) writes:
>>
>
>And so he got it.
>
>>Vocalists: Anderson
>> Squire
>>etc.
>
>What about the Buggles?
>Mustn't forget the Buggles!
>
>>Dancer: Who in the world?
>> I don't get it!
>
>Neither do I.
>So who's the dancer?
Vangelis! :-D
--
reds...@olias.linet.org \\\RS/// Self possession is 9/10 of the law.
Alien: "We control the laws of nature!" | "Free mind, free soul; it's time,
Joel: "And you still dress that way?" | so let your future unfold" - B52's
(MST3K#17 - Gamera vs Guiron) | Behind every successful woman stands...no one.
Scott McMahan -- Genesis mailing list owner
A band can only be progressive if it has a song called "Madrigal" in
its repertoire, or at least one that uses the word "madrigal" as
a lyric.
Scott
Red Sonja
And then there were "Dead Monkeys" who were once known as "Poached Sole in
a White Wine Sauce" and "Helen Shapiro" before they broke up. They did this
great song, "My Penis Is A Sense Of Humor". This unfortunately offended
some of the more conventional locals who claimed it did not follow the rules
because it did not break enough rules, and therefore they took to the streets
and shredded all known copies.
Per Andersson
>I disagree -- I think Nuclear Attack is a *great* song, albeit no
>longer really relevant.
"Nuclear Attack" the song is by Gary Moore, who wrote it. Greg Lake covered it
with help from among others (surprise) Gary Moore on "Nuclear Attack" the
album. Greg Lake was much better live at the time than this album shows.
(And he did 21st century schizoid man live....)
/Per
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Per Andersson - pp...@celsiustech.se (per...@stacken.kth.se on free time)
Managing networks ( and occasionally SUNs) at, but not speaking for:
CelsiusTech AB, J{rf{lla, Sweden
Anthony Firmin
: In article <21jqp9$4...@balsam.unca.edu> mcm...@etowah.cs.unca.edu (Scott McMahan -- Genesis mailing list owner) writes:
: >I disagree -- I think Nuclear Attack is a *great* song, albeit no
: >longer really relevant.
: "Nuclear Attack" the song is by Gary Moore, who wrote it. Greg Lake covered it
: with help from among others (surprise) Gary Moore on "Nuclear Attack" the
: album. Greg Lake was much better live at the time than this album shows.
: (And he did 21st century schizoid man live....)
I must agree - Nuclear Attack is an excellent song (although Gary Moore released
a single version of it at the same time on Jet Records and is a LOT HEAVIER) and
the whole album is full of good songs, "It Hurts" is one of my faves along
with "Retribution Drive" and "The Lie".
Saw him 4 times on the tour and at his debut solo gig at the Reading Festival.
Stirring stuff - brought tears to the eyes.
..Ant
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