lr.7
MEGAZONE 23
"I hope you feel real...do you feel real? And if so I'd
like to know."
--Jesus Jones
All was silence. This is How It Should Be in space, but
still, it made Gryphon decidedly uncomfortable. Several
points he truly hadn't wanted to be raised were in the last
couple of minutes, things he really hadn't wanted to think
about. It wasn't at all like Kei to be silent for so long...
"Ben?" she finally said. He was almost relieved, but
her tone of voice set off all his mental alarms. He had a
Very Bad FeelingTM about this.
"Yeah?" he replied, trying to sound neutral (not easy,
considering that his friend Mr. Endorphin Rush was still
around).
"Do...do you really love me?"
"Aw, no...not you too...yes, Kei, of course I really
love you! You know you're the most important person in my
life. Why the sudden worry?" The answer was perfectly
obvious, of course, but the question needed asking
nonetheless. "This is some existence thing, isn't it?"
"Well...Yuri had a point. Our history isn't real.
Almost nothing about us is real. Not even our last names.
We aren't real people." She sounded on the verge of tears.
"Maybe...maybe we weren't meant to exist."
"If you weren't meant to exist, you wouldn't," replied
Ben flatly. "But you do."
"But I'm not a real person!" She really was crying now.
"Aren't you?" Gryphon considered. "You don't think
you're real." She shook her head. "Well then...neither am
I."
"What?!"
"Well, if you aren't, I certainly don't want to be. I
am hereby no longer real. There. That was easy enough."
He grinned under his helmet. "Real, not real...it's all the
same. You and I are here, we're together, and I love you
more than anyone or anything else. More than my life, if it
ever comes to that."
"You...you really mean that...don't you?" It was more
of a statement than a question.
"You never have to ask. The answer will always be the
same." He jetted closer and, mecha or no mecha, drew her
into a hug. "I'll always love you...real or not."
"But...but if I'm not real, can I love you back? You
deserve that much."
"Well, do you or don't you? It's a simple question."
She paused, deep in thought; at this range, through the
face shield of her CVR-3, he could see tears squeezing from
under tightly closed eyelids and floating spherically into
the open space of her helmet. He found himself wondering
briefly what her answer would be.
"I...yes. Yes. I love you." Her eyes opened and she
smiled broadly. Tears of happiness, then. "I love you!"
She threw her arms around him, returning the embrace he had
held her in for the past few minutes. Ben's spirits shot
through the top of all creation--like, have another endorphin
rush. Well, there was one crisis past...his own hot tears of
relief began to flow freely.
"You see? It's simple. My love for you makes you real.
Your love for me makes me real. It sounds awfully silly and
sentimental, but it's the way things work."
"I'm sorry for doubting you...I just...I..."
"Sshhh, go ahead. You don't have to be tough around me,
I know what you're really like. Zoner's silent-tough-guy-I-
can-handle-it routine is what got him into trouble in the
first place." He tightened his embrace, careful not to exert
anywhere near the limit of force his armor could apply. "You
and I are more than lovers. We can share anything. Anything
at all. You're my best friend, Kei."
"Oh, Ben...I love you so much..."
"I love you too, Kei," he replied...and it wasn't just a
rote response. They drifted for some time that way, silent,
almost helmet to helmet.
"Feel better?" Ben asked at length.
"A little...I'm still not sure of a few things, but I
don't really want to hang out here in space discussing them.
I'd prefer someplace more comfortable."
"I know what you mean...I don't particularly like open
space, myself...on the other hand, I don't like water deeper
than five foot three either. I would have suggested going
back right away...but I figured a few things had to be
cleared up first. Ready to head back?"
"Uh huh...you?"
"Yep." He pivoted so that he was facing the Wedge (and,
consequently, she was away from it), and started
accelerating. Slowly, because Cyclones don't have Inertial-
Vector control systems, and rapid acceleration to Relative
Mach 4.7 would probably damage the wearer. He didn't really
need to see where he was going right away; his scopes did
that for him. Besides, he didn't want to break eye contact
quite yet.
Zoner and Yuri arrived back at the Wedge well ahead of
Ben and Kei. Zoner dropped Yuri off by one of the airlocks
and docked the Daytona from Hell on the roof. Yuri was
already out of the Garland and caught in the middle of a
group of welcoming Wedge Rats by the time Zoner dropped in
through the roof hatch.
"Like, welcome back Zoner. Glad to see you were
successful," q said in greeting.
"Yeah, glad to see you together again," Grendel added.
"Well, I think I'm the happiest about the situation,"
Zoner replied as he worked his way over to Yuri, shedding
CVR-3 along the way and dumping it carelessly into the kipple
on the floor.
"Yuri, I do love you!" Zoner proclaimed as he gathered
Yuri into his arms and kissed her.
"I love you too Zoner," Yuri replied, kissing him again.
"I think we have a lot of talking to do. Let's go back
our room. I have a lot to tell you about me," Zoner placed
his arm around Yuri's waist and began walking towards the
stairway to E7. As they descended the stairway he shouted
back, "ReRob, you have the conn until Ben returns, and if he
doesn't want it, which he probably won't, even after he
returns. And I don't want to be disturbed for anything less
than a life threatening emergency."
Zoner and Yuri continued on to E7. Mark and Vaughn were
in the living room watching the School House Rock video
cassette.
"Good morning. Welcome back, nice to see you again,"
Vaughn greeted from the couch. "Pardon me...I saw some neat
rocks out the window. I'm going to go play."
"You have more problems with women," Mark commented.
"Shut up Mark, Yuri and I have a lot to talk about.
Don't disturb us." Yuri and Zoner retreated to their room.
Gryphon's room was where the Morgan Hall elevator had
been; in fact, the entrance to his room was now an airlock
formed by the old elevator door and his own old room door.
He and Kei, of course, had to get back into the ship through
one of the bridge airlocks (opening one of the unsealed doors
and sucking some unwary person from the nosh machines into
open space being considered rather rude when there was no
emergency). As they entered the Wedge, a chorus of applause
rose from the people sitting around.
"What?" Gryphon said, looking around, confused.
"We like heard your rantfest," said q casually. "Like
good job."
"Oh. Uh...yeah. Sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it," ReRob
added. He backed away from the captain's chair. "You
want...?"
"After that? Yeah, Rob. Riiiight." Gryphon gave Rob a
slight "duh". "You keep it...we're going to our room."
"Not to be disturbed unless it's a life threatening
emergency, I assume?"
"Not to be disturbed even if it's a life threatening
emergency," Gryphon replied without a trace of sarcasm.
"Got something planned, eh?" said Pfloyd with a silly
grin.
"Floyd...die a most horrible death," said Ben and Kei at
the same time.
"Uh, Pfloyd? I really don't think this is the time..."
said Rob.
"Well it's true," Adam said defensively.
"Gaaah...he can be such a bonehead," said Ben as he
wrote "GRYPHON IS [IN], BUT GO AWAY ANYWAY" on his message
board and locked both doors. "I really get tired of him
sometimes..." He picked his way through the accumulating
kipple and, dumping his black clothes among it, pulled on a
t-shirt and some shorts. Now he felt much more comfortable.
Out-of-the-room clothes could get so annoying sometimes.
He settled onto the bed, sitting up on top of the
sleeping bag; Kei, now similarly attired, climbed up next to
him, and they then arranged the covers warmly. They spent
the next three hours talking about life, one's right to
existence, and the crisis they had just passed. Nothing was
said about the other worry impending on their minds; what
would happen in two days, when they reached their
destination.
And then, worn out by the high emotions and tension of
the day, they went to sleep by the pink glow of the lava
lamp.