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MEGAZONE 23
"WARNING: Do NOT engage battloid mode without CVR-3
armor!"
--The REF Field Guide
The Wedge went to immediate WeDon'tEvenHaveAColorForThis
Alert. The alarm system blared "NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE!" as
things started to move. The pavement out front of the Lower
Wedge split; E7 started to move across the street; Morgan
crumbled as 401 began to descend on a mighty pillar of steel
that was not seen before. The entire Wedge started to fold,
shift, and change shape. Coyle and his forces fell back.
Kevin walked in from the snack machine area, having dug
himself out of the dumpster and entered through the stairwell
door. Meanwhile, MegaZone was racing out across the Wedge on
his obnoxiously large Bahamode, the throttle wide open, and
skidding around for a strafing pass with his lasers.
The Wedge hit a critical point in transformation; the
Wedge Rats scrambled back into the Upper Wedge as the Lower
began to rise into the air. The Lower Wedge began to hinge
away, the foldawalls folding smoothly away. Then one of them
jammed and the entire process hung with a hideous sound of
grinding gears.
"I got it!" Zoner hollered; he came blasting through the
airlock, already transforming, and with all his armor-
augmented strength, moshed the wall. SLAM! The device
folded into itself and almost dropped into the ninth
dimension before stabilizing. Zoner bounced back into the
Upper Wedge, rebounded off the support, and settled
gracelessly into one of the booths.
"Good work, MegaZone!" hollered Crocker as he scrambled
to take his position at the controls.
"Drive, Yuri!" Kei shouted, shoving Crocker out of the
way and climbing up through the roof hatch into Gweepery.Z,
now the control center.
"You actually want me to drive?" Yuri asked as she
followed, incredulous.
"Only because I want to be weapons officer," Kei
replied, strapping herself into the now-bolted-in WedgeTerm.
"But, but, but--" Crocker sputtered.
"Sit down and shut up," Kei told him, and slammed the
hatch.
The Wedge Rats scattered out of the Wedge as it finished
the transformation. The arms ripped up out of the ground;
Daniels collapsed and Morgan finished. The legs extended
from deep in the Earth, where they had lain since created by
the fabled First Wedge Rat. His secrets had been passed from
generation to generation of Rats, but lost somewhere along
the way; from itsnotmygoddamnplanetunderstandmonkeyboy, Ben
had found them hidden deep in a .directory in /usr-1, no one
had thought of using ls -Ra. Now was their time for use.
With a tremendous shifting of mass, the Wedge turned,
took a faltering step.
It had transformed to a giant mecha unit.
Don Ross appeared in the corner, scribbled some notes,
muttered, "Oh, geez, what a game, they're gonna love this
one," and vanished with a pop.
Up in the command center, Yuri slowly mastered the
nuances of piloting a mecha with a keyboard and cyberlink
(the keyboard concept is familiar to anyone with a lot of PC
games and no joystick); Kei's fingers danced over the arrow
keys as she settled the crosshairs of her cybersight onto one
of the Boomers.
"And now, I'd like you to meet a special guest of the
Wedge Rats," said Gryphon through his armor amps as he ducked
to the left, amazed again at how his bulky armor enhanced his
agility to superhuman levels, and slashed a Boomer's head off
with his beam katana. "Say hello to our friend, Mister
Railgun."
Kei smacked the space bar. With a tremendous KLUNK of
capacitors and a metallic WHANG!, the huge weapon mounted on
MechaWedge's left forearm spat a hypersonic projectile that
spitted the targeted Boomer where he stood, neatly pinning
him through like a bug on styrofoam.
The Boomer's dysfunctional corpse was blown back through
the Res Life office, the four-foot section of railroad track
stapling him securely to the far wall.
"Oh, and our other friend...Mr. Rougan!"
Kei hit the Enter key and out of the large barrel on the
right arm blasted a fully armored Rougan, howling like a
madman and wondering how he had gotten roped into this job.
He streaked directly into one of the clusters of Boomers,
where he let go with a lot o' mini-missiles and wreaked
general havoc.
Laughing like a madwoman, Kei proceeded to go absolutely
nuts with their friend, Mr. Railgun. KLUNKWHANG!
KLUNKWHANG! Boomer after Boomer died. Yuri turned the huge,
ponderous mecha unit to the left, stepping uncertainly down
Institute Road. Everything would've gone just fine, but she
stepped on a moving minivan and the balance of the whole
thing got hosed. Kei lost motor control of Mr. Railgun as
the arms took over for the failing gyros, flailing
uncontrollably. She saw the ground rushing up and screamed:
"Yuriiiiiiii, you idioooooooooot!"
KER-WHAMMO!
With a colossal crash, the Wedge slammed into Gompei's
and utterly destroyed that entire wing of Riley Hall.
Meanwhile, Ben's armor sensors had discovered the source
of the weirdo energy patterns he had been receiving. For
one, the reactor was going berserk; for another, there was a
mondo drain source under Alden Hall. With no further ado, he
used his armor's strength to punch a hole through the wall
and have a look.
He ran smack face-first into the rest of the Coylian
Armada. The rest of the Wedge Rats heard his frantic cries
for help and descended on the place with the fury of a
million locusts in a wheat field. They arrived just in time
to see John Coyle disappear into the new elevator, heading
up. The Boomers held them back; laser and missile fire was
thick and heavy on both sides, and on both sides there were
casualties. Fritz was put out of the action early by an
incredible shot that vaporized his helmet; he was unharmed,
personally, but in such shock from the circumstances that he
slumped to the floor, babbling about MDC structures.
The Wedge Commandos reached the elevator--
And the bells rang.
Everyone stopped. The bells chimed five o'clock. All
was normal; the fight resumed.
And then, over the tremendous amp system on Alden Hall
and everyone's suit com unit, John Coyle unleashed his secret
weapon, the weapon he was counting on to win him the war now
that his troops had failed him.
He put in the Robotech Perfect Collection, and cued up
"We Will Win" by Lynn-Minmei. On infinite repeat.
Wedge Rats screamed and dropped to their knees,
clutching their heads; some tore off their helmets and threw
them away, trying to escape the radios, but only exposed
themselves to the outer speakers. Even Ben, who had never
heard her sing, was not immune; he kept on for three more
steps, stumbled, and collapsed, writhing in agony.
A single Wedge Rat reached the elevator. Grimly
blocking out the sound and ignoring the intense pain, Kevin
Tefft hit the button for the uppermost floor and began his
trek to the clock tower.
Actually, there was another; Zoner, who liked Minmei's
singing, stopped fighting to just stand there and take it in.
"Oh, marvelous piloting, Yuri," Kei sputtered as the two
of them crawled out of the rubble that had been Gompei's.
"Well, you're the one that wanted me to drive, and
besides, it's not my fault. That van was in the way--"
"Why didn't you avoid it?"
"With you shaking the whole goddamn Wedge with that
railgun? Somehow I don't think it was intended for full-auto
fire like that--"
"Oh, sure, now you're blaming it on me."
The music began to play; the gunfire stopped. Kei
cocked her head and listened; yes, it was terrible music, and
if the woman singing had been present Kei would've felt
honor-bound to shoot her, but why should that stop the fight?
"Kei, I know that music. It's from that videotape
MegaZone has."
"Oh, that narrows it down a lot."
"No, I mean it. It's from...Robotech, I think...the
singer that beat the giant aliens. I think Coyle's trying to
kill the Wedge Rats with it!"
"Well, come on then! Let's go save them."
"Kei, we can't. We don't have the firepower to take on
all those 'bots and 'borgs by ourselves! We lost our
Cyclones in the crash--all we have left are our lasers and
our CVR."
Kei smiled a wicked smile. "Oh, no we don't. Come on,
I have an idea."
The elevator door opened; Kevin staggered forth, the
pounding in his head getting worse, and made for the stairway
to the bell tower. A Boomer emerged from the shadows;
snarling in pain and rage, Kevin cut it down. Ahh, CADS.
ReRob was right; he had to admit, however grudgingly, that
the things were better than his nails.
He took the stairs two at a time and smashed the door
open with a foot. Coyle, surveying the campus from the
belltower, whirled.
"You. I might have known." He raised a hand, fist
clenched. "I never thought I would say this to you, of all
people, but it seems appropriate..." Muscles (or something)
flexed under the black leather of his sleeve; three gleaming
blades of blue-silver metal, similar to the metal Ben's armor
was made of, popped out of the back of his hand. A similar
set extended from his other hand. "Shall we dance?"
"Certainly." Kevin leaped to the attack, his Cyclone
propelling him into furious battle; Coyle's blades smashed
aside a humming CADS blade in a shower of sparks. Neither
weapon was damaged, but Kevin was amazed at the strength of
the parry. Obviously, whatever he was packing inside those
limbs of his was not ordinary muscle tissue...
At his best, it would've been a fair fight. Handicapped
by the constant noise and pain of Minmei singing, there was
no contest; Kevin was struggling to stay alive. His one good
shot tore free Coyle's mask, revealing his face, sort of
intact but crushed, his entire throat and one eye replaced
with steel and electronics.
Andrew Petrarca was walking peacefully up West Street
toward the Wedge area, his Lazer Tag rifle over his shoulder,
when he noticed Kei and Yuri running toward him, in CVR,
helmet shields open, as fast as they possibly could.
He raised a hand to address them, but they were past
him; one of them had knocked him down, he hoped by accident,
and his rifle was gone. Shrugging, he got up, dusted himself
off, and made a mental note to remind them about the property
of people who aren't in the LRPG.
Zoner wandered into the belltower, having gotten out of
his Bahamode to climb the stairs; he noted the disc player
wired into the sound system and the Robotech Perfect
Collection CD box next to it. Suddenly, he realized that the
disc was his, and had been missing from E7 after his magtape
got hosed. Grinning at having found it, he ejected, boxed,
and pocketed it.
Like magic, the music was cut off.
Fortunately, Coyle hadn't had time, in his battle with
Ktefft, to give his Boomers orders to kill the incapacitated
Wedge Rats.
Ben struggled to his feet, blood running from his right
nostril; he ran a quick systems check. Everything was
intact, although the med monitors informed him that he had
been better. He got himself fully upright and looked around.
Some of the other Wedge Rats were on their feet already, and
others who had been worse affected were not, and didn't show
signs of being so anytime in the future.
The Boomers noted that their adversaries were recovering
and went from overwatch mode back into default combat.
Suddenly, the building shook with a roar. The doors
fell. The Wedge Rats whirled.
Down West Street, the muzzle of its cannon emitting
smoke, came careening an orange Game Tank from TRON. Across
its bow were written the letters "ORANGE". It skidded around
the corner and slammed bow-first into the beech tree,
shredding a tread.
"Ow!" Kei shouted as her helmeted forehead slammed into
the gunsight. "You moron, that's the second time you've
crashed today."
"Look," Yuri responded from the hull, "if you don't like
it, you drive! Besides. Zoner never finished giving me
lessons."
"Shut up, I'm shooting." Which she proceeded to do,
quite adroitly, holing the front of Alden Hall with round
after round from the Game Tank's chevron cannon.
WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM click click click ratchet
whirrr...
"Uh oh..."
The constant fire from the Game Tank had kept the
Boomers' heads down; now they rose again, looking quizzically
outside, wondering why the crippled vehicle wasn't firing any
longer.
"Huh," said Jeremy in a loud voice. "Looks like they're
outta ammo."
The Boomers rushed the tank.
"Jeremy, I've wanted to do this for a long time," said
Gryphon. "You just gave me an excuse." And with that, he
gave Jeremy a tremendous punch in the face, one that
shattered the facebowl of his helmet and sent him spinning
bloodily into a corner.
As he fell to the task of yanking Boomers off the tank,
Ben wondered idly if he'd killed him. Not that it mattered.
Back at the CCC, Andrew noticed the trontank.gif running
on itsnotmygoddamnplanetunderstandmonkeyboy and that it had
been somehow stripped four bits. He ran an xrefresh across
it--his good deed for the day, he figured.
The tread knitted together. "Kei! The tread's back
up!" Yuri shouted, and backed the tank rather violently
around. The motion pitched several Boomers, a couple of
Cyclones, and the Griffin off the hull of the tank, banged
Kei's head against first the back of her seat and then the
gunsight again, and then smashed the back of the tank into
the Higgins basement, where it became well and truly mired.
"ARRR!!" Yuri screamed in frustration, slamming her
fists down on the control board.
"Well, we're in a better firing position now," Kei told
her. "If we had ammo." For lack of anything better to do,
she targeted a Boomer and shot.
WHAM! The cannon bellowed out another chevron, neatly
ripping several Boomers in half and narrowly missing chopping
Rob Crocker's left arm off at the shoulder. Crocker yelped
and dove face-down to the pavement.
"Yahoo!" Kei shouted, punching the air. She proceeded
to hose many many Boomers until the ammo ran out again.
"Damn," she said. "Didn't do enough damage to bring
Alden down."
"Do we have any other armament?"
"Just this strange rifle I picked up from Android."
"So, try it already!"
"Great idea, but this is a lousy fire position. This
looks like a laser...we need to be in a better position to be
effective. Say, like, in the middle of the Quad."
"No problem." Yuri opened up a channel and requested
cover, which was promptly given; moments later, they were in
position and Crocker was giving the order to evacuate the
building.