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MEGAZONE 23
"Home, home again. I like to be here when I can."
--Pink Floyd
The Daytona from Hell was unseen for the next couple of
weeks. Around the seventeenth of October Zoner cornered
ReRob.
"ReRob, I don't mean to rush you. But where is my car?!"
"Um, well, I haven't quite finished with it yet."
"ReRob, I have to go home in two days. My finals are
stressing the hell out of me, and you tell me I won't have a
car?!"
"Relax, I've got an angle."
"You've got an angle? Like what. I need my car. What am
I going to tell my parents? I didn't want to drive home so I
took the bus? I'm sure they'll buy that. I love my car, I
love to drive, and they KNOW that. I'm boned....."
"Just take it easy, I've got an angle."
"What angle?" Zoner screamed.
"Itsnotmygoddamnplanetunderstandmonkeyboy."
"What the hell are you doing with that? Never mind, I
don't want to know. I just want my car back by Saturday."
With that Zoner just walked away. ReRob just shrugged
and headed back to the HDS.
FRIDAY 18 OCTOBER 1991
Ben was sitting in Wedge Booth #1 with his stuff all
around him, ensconced in a little fortress of trunk, duffel
bag, and laundry basket. He was, as usual, reading
something.
"'Lo, Ben," said Yuri as she entered the Wedge.
"Where's Kei?"
"Dunno...she went that way. Probably taking up one of
the Wedgeterms for a frivolous purpose again...I'm just
waiting for Mom to show up..."
The airlock swung open and Ben's mother entered. Ben
waved, which she returned as she came over.
"Hi, Ben--ready to go?"
"Just about...hey, can a couple of people help me with
this stuff?"
"Sure," said Yuri. She picked up the trunk and hauled
it unconcernedly out to the curb.
"I hate it when they do that," said Ben, shouldering his
duffel bag.
"Who is that?"
"Oh, that's Yuri."
"Who's Yuri?"
"She is."
"Stop that!"
"Sorry...she's a student. A Wedge Rat."
"What's her major?"
"MegaZone."
"What?"
"CS."
"Could she help you with your Pascal?"
"Yeah, if I felt like living dangerously."
"Why, is she dangerous?"
"You might say that." They finally reached the curb
by this point. "Thanks, Yuri."
"No problem...have a nice break."
"Thanks, you too."
"She's nice," Ben's mother commented as he stuffed his
duffel bag into the back of the Camaro. "Do you know her
well?"
"Mmm..." said Ben, wobbling a hand.
"Oh really?"
"Mother, don't start with that."
"Well, I just want to know..."
"Don't. Start. That."
"Okay, fine! Ready?"
"In a second...there's one more thing I have to get. Be
right back," he announced, and ran back into the Wedge.
Just as he thought, Kei was indeed on a WedgeTerm
MUDding.
"Come on, my mother's waiting."
"Just a minute, let me kill this thing."
"*sigh* Come on, will you? My mother's not the most
patient person in the world."
"I see it's genetic."
"Oh, shut up."
Fully ten minutes later, Kei finally got to a point
where she was willing to save her character and log out. In
that time she slaughtered various critters and things,
including Schletz.
"Have a nice break," pfloyd called from deep within a
Wedge booth.
"You too," Ben replied.
"Like he has to worry about it," Kei whispered, nudging
him.
"HMMmmm," Ben replied.
Ben's mother, waiting impatiently by the car, looked up,
about to say something to him, and stopped, just kind
of...looking...
"You want the front?"
"Sure."
"Ok...don't let Mom intimidate you...Mom, this is Kei.
Kei --this is my mom Anne."
"Hi," said Ben's mom. She grabbed her son by the
sleeve, dragged him closer, and whispered, "Who is this?"
"I told you," Ben replied, pulling himself away. "This
is Kei. She's coming home with us."
"", replied Anne, speechless.
"Oh, don't look so shocked," Ben replied. "She's got
nowhere else to go, I couldn't possibly be so mean as to
leave her here in this pit over break. Unlike some people I
know." The sarcasm was of course lost, as its recipient was
some several dozen yards away watching TV.
Ben's mother gave him a very strange look.
"I hope you don't mind, Mrs. Hutchins," Kei said in a
letter-perfect #141-A (Sweet and Innocent). "It really does
get awfully boring here during breaks."
"Does your father know about this?" Ben's mother asked
him suddenly.
"No," Ben replied openly. "He hasn't the faintest
idea."
"I don't know what he's going to say..."
"Probably something like `baaah?'," Ben said with a
grin, folding up the front seat long enough to compact
himself into the back. "I can deal."
"Are you sure it's no problem?"
"Not for me, I guess..." Shaking her head, Ben's mother
got into the car and shut her door. Kei settled into the
passenger seat and away they went.
"Hey, a stick shift. You drive stick shift?" she asked,
noting the shifter.
"Only when forced," Anne replied.
"Oh."
And thus the conversation went...all the way to the
Galactic Center of Nothingness, Millinocket, Maine.
Can you say, "awkward"? Sure you can. I bet you can
even spell it.
Ben dumped his duffel bag on the porch and fumbled for
the keys; he managed to get the proper one into the door and
open it up.
"This is it," he said, spreading his arms wide. "My
house."
At about that point, the dog noticed people and went
berserk. Not dangerously berserk...more of a "Oh, wow,
people!" kind of berserk.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, down, muttley, down!" Ben shouted
playfully, fending off the retriever.
"Hey, a dog! What's his name?"
"Randy."
"Hi, Randy," Kei greeted the animal, vigorously patting
his head. "Can he drive?"
"No..."
"Play Trivial Pursuit?"
"No..."
"Operate starship weaponry?"
"No...mostly, he sleeps and eats."
"Great. We'll get along fine then."
Randy proceeded to submit (grudgingly [yeah, right]) to
having his head scratched for a very long time. (It takes a
biiig lot of convincing to get him to do that, let me tell
you.)
"Dad must not be home yet," said Ben as he executed
Standard I'm Home Maneuver #33--Open The Refrigerator. "You
want something?"
When Peter arrived home, he discovered his son sitting
on the couch, drinking a soda and watching Late Night with
David Letterman. That wasn't surprising.
What was surprising was the young lady sitting next to
him on the sofa, scratching behind the ears of a very
contented-looking Golden Retriever and taking in the
incredibly silly show as well.
"Hey, Ben," said Peter. "How was your trip?"
"Fine...yours?"
"Fine...can I talk to you in the kitchen?"
"I suppose you could, but that would mean I'd have to
get up...as you can see, I'm somewhat comfortable...is it
really important?"
"Yeah, I would say so."
"Okay, I guess." Ben heaved the sigh of one who has
been called away from a perfectly comfortable couch for no
good reason and got to his feet. They went into the kitchen.
"Who is that?" Peter asked as soon as they were around
the corner.
"Oh, how rude of me." Ben went back to the living room
and said, "Dad, this is Kei. Kei, this is my father Peter.
I invited Kei to come up and spend the week--Worcester during
break is even more boring than Millinocket and she had
noplace else to go. Hope you don't mind."
"Hi," said Peter. "So, are you a student at WPI too?"
"You could say that," Kei replied. "I hope you don't
mind this--Ben said it would be okay."
"No, no, I don't mind. I'll go upstairs and put the
guest room together..."
"Oh, you don't need to--" Kei began, but a semi-gentle
elbow from Ben cut her off.
"Hmm?"
"I mean, that's all right, I can take care of it
myself."
"Oh, no, that's no problem. Well, it's been a long
day...good night...and Ben, turn down the heater before you
come upstairs, you hear me?"
"Yep. 'Night."
"Good night. Good to have you home, son. And it was
nice meeting you, Kei."
"You too," said Kei.
Confused beyond repair, Peter went upstairs and went to
bed. He'd figure it out later.
"Why'd you poke me?" Kei demanded.
"My father's a cool guy, Kei, but I don't want him to
know about certain parts of my life...you know?"
"No, I don't--ohhh..." she said, a knowing smile slowly
obliterating her earlier look of puzzlement. "I get it. Not
a word out of me," she assured him with a wink.
"Thanks. I don't know how he'd react..."
"Don't worry about it then." She leaned closer and
suddenly, with a lightning motion, seized the remote control.
A massive battle began for control of the remote, which ended
with the two of them on the floor, laughing madly but trying
to stay quiet for Peter's sake, grappling for the remote,
entangled, and looking up at Mike...