dp.pi
MEGAZONE 23
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains,
however improbable, must be the truth."
--Sherlock Holmes
Ben led Kei, MegaZone, Yuri, and ReRob into the depths
of Fuller Labs later that afternoon, telling them simply,
"You have to see this."
"CSLANtronix? I've seen this place before, you know."
"No, not that--this." With that Ben grabbed him by the
collar and tossed him through the invisible door.
PLOOP.
"Oh. Shit." muttered ReRob.
"Wow, what is this place?" asked Yuri.
"I fraggin' wrote this." declared ReRob.
"I fraggin' found it, so slot me, ok?" announced Ben.
"Rather not." replied ReRob.
"Do what to him?" said Kei.
"Never mind," murmured Ben.
Ben logged in and gestured grandly as the DECstation
sprang into existence around them.
"Cool," said MegaZone. "Great place to hold Matrix runs
in my Shadowrun campaigns."
"The Black IC would be a bitch though, for the players
too." ReRob quipped, then to Ben, "Whatever you do, don't
call up an xtank..."
"The absence of xtank from your directory is not a
coincidence," Ben said with a grin.
"Huh?" questioned ReRob.
"Forget it--you never heard about that?" asked Ben.
"I'm nigh-oblivious, remember?"
"Oh yeah."
"But this is 8thdimension?!"
"It was."
"Was?"
"I changed the name."
"WHAT?! Why?"
"Because the old name was an aej name ...I wanted
something different."
"What's it called now?"
"itsnotmygoddamnplanetunderstandmonkeyboy."
"You're sick."
"I know."
"Itsnotmygoddamnplanetunderstandmonkeyboy?" inquired
Yuri.
"We've got to show these two Buckaroo Banzai," Zoner
observed. "And while we're at it--hey, let's have the anime
festival in the Wedge tomorrow! We'll show Space Cruiser
Yamato, and BGC, and all my DP stuff--" His mildly demonic
grin was getting worse by the passing second.
"What's the point, though?" ReRob interrupted. "I mean,
you found the HoloDECstation--what does that have to do
with--"
"Well, I found this--"
What do we do next, Doctor? A:> cd /usr-1
What do we do next, Doctor? A:> ls
cluless
What do we do next, Doctor? A:>
"Stop right there," said ReRob urgently. "Do you know
what you are doing?"
"Of course not."
"I didn't think so. Let me fill you in." He took off
his hat, cleared his throat, and prepared to exposit.
"CLULESS is a programming language which was developed
by an unknown but undoubtedly fucked up user."
ReRob went on to explain the nuances of CLULESS. And
how it was very probably responsible for Kei and Yuri's
very existence.
As they left the HoloDECstation, Ben contemplated what
he had heard. He became more and more convinced that what he
had done was a Good Thing.
Kei and Yuri wondered why they existed at all.
Kei in particular wondered what kind of horrible things
could happen to you if you thought your creator was cute.
And, for that matter, exactly why she thought he was cute.