I just leafed through my folder of articles posted by WebTV users
James Kibo Parry
Here are quotable quotes from the best articles I've seen coming from
webtv.net addresses over the past year. The majority of these fragile
bad butterflies were collected from alt.online-service.webtv.
Warning: Reading these aloud will cause brain damage in any laboratory mice
who might be listening.
-- K.
And these are just the
"meaningful" parts of
the articles, not the
signatures!
--------------- everything below this line came out of a WebTV ---------------
-> Strike one more for internal genocide: Helen Hunt and Melissa Manchester
-> have taken up house together. [...] BOYCOTT HOLLYWOOD!
=> The webtv version of windows media player seems to steal bandwidth.
=> because it almost won't work any other way.
-> Subject: Subject: Well, the Soviet Union has arrived to America!
->
-> In this case, the Soviet Union (and Red China) moved to America then!
->
-> I guess Big Brother got what he wants, a Soviet Dictatorship in our own
-> nation!
->
-> I blame the peopel who wont vote to keep your right to free speech and
-> the RIGHT TO ARE ARMS! Both amendments are critical here!
=> COMMENT: .....The Corp. moderated (Supervised) newsgroup ("WebTV.Users")
=> "news:webtv.users" is really a posteing mess! ....Most time it takes up
=> to 5, or 6 "_Days_" for a posting to show up on the pre-screening, and
=> moderated newsreader there! .....That's 5 to 6 "_Days_" foer the
=> original post to be diplayed! ....Then another 5 to 6 "_Days_" for the
=> responses to show up! ....That's a "_Total_" of 10 to 12 "_Days_" for
=> the creation of a thread!! ;-O!!! ...."_TERRIBLE_"!!! ;-O!!!
[...from a different article by the same mad punctuator:]
=> 2nd. COMMENT: ....After re-reading your post again with fresher eyes,
=> some things in it struck me as sort of "_Strange_"!! ;-O ...Which then
=> caused me to go "_Hmmmm_"!??? {;-/
-> Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
-> Subject: webtv &HTML
->
-> I ahve a ebtv and really am offended at someone says we all have dirty
-> nails. I do my nails every other day and as for my webtv I think its
-> better than pc i some ways and worse in others
=> Subject: web tv gone wild
=>
=> Yesterday this classic sys.started printing the same letter all by
=> itself.i was typing a U and it just continu now i can not type
=> certain letters so excuse uuuuthis speulluing
-> Subject: The tv in Indialantic, FL.
->
-> Relations of this female need not get near anyone one her tv need to be
-> dead her relations are a threat to those people need faces slashed up
-> Kermit E. richmond, Jr., Jay Dickenson Kimberly R. Richmond, Shaun A.
-> Valenca, Krissie, Kyle national security feels need them slashed up they
-> got near someone famous one of those people all retarded all under house
-> arrest. by local police and circles of care a prison rapist detention
-> center in Florida all under arrest. since 1991 some of the childrfen
-> under house arrest only 5 months old threat to these people she told the
-> police she is sure of it . All needed a bag on their heads over a
-> threat to her TV. Norman Wolfinger also under arrest dont go to miama
-> dont get near madonna bruce willis, kim basinger, slash your faces up
-> FLDLE Corrections Texas department of aw enforcement. After a TV
-> incident in her home in 1991 she needed to be arrrested she is elderly
-> but so did others in her family need to be. Restrained whoever did it.
-> These relations got near someone famous is Miami, FL. sure of it they
-> were all stalking people in Miami, FL. no were not. stalking you. None
-> of them have one with the TV. She does not to bother the old lady
-> harrassment from local police here in Brevard Done get near Kathy
-> Ireland paul McCartney these family members of her in Indialnatic, fl.
-> No one but her has any idea what she is talking about all lied about it
-> who did it. Remain at large sure they saw she virtual terrorist dont
-> see. What do you think think all need faces slashed up over senile what
-> they called her childrfen too. [...continues in this vein a while...]
=> Newsgroups: alt.sci.physics.new-theories
=> Subject: writing sucks say's diagnosed. mental impairment 15component
=> unified theory
=>
=> post and swill talk ,remember^^^P=3 .
=> KX=TE.
=> E=energy.
=> T=time ''yes one reference''.
=> X=matter.
=> K=A lot of talk.
=> P=H+E+L.
=> H=space.
=> E=matter.
=> L=light,
=> or.
=> H=heaven.
=> E=earth.
=> L=light.
=> GE=Good job.
=> ALSO good job = MICRO SOFT.
=> some oppp=Gallo
=> Contact @ redwrither195
=> MA'STARA,M.
-> Hey oldtimer...LOL....get your ass back on webtv. There are too man
-> losers these days.
=> and 4. If you add a disclaimer toour webpag, webtv might just sick
=> theirs o o fi using the webtv name on your homeage. ;) just kidding.
=> Actualy, just half-kidding.
-> U R A DICK !!!
->
-> blacklist ME Einstein !!!
->
->
-> GOOF!!!
->
-> E=3DMC=8D=8D=B2
->
-> =85L8R
->
-> =85geo
=> Newsgroups: alt.sci.time-travel
=> Subject: Please help...
=>
=> Hi everybody,
=> Im sorry to bother all of you, but I have a problem.
=> I think Im being thrown (or I should say nudged through time.
=> I guess, I don't know.) I keep being "nudged" 15 to 35 minutes in the
=> future, and 2 to 3 hours in the past.
=> Please help me, I don't think I'm insane and believe me Im
=> not trying to lie to you. Something really weird has been happening to
=> me lately. I came here and read some of your postings. Most of you sound
=> truly knowledgable
=> about this subject. Please give me an idea of whats going on.
-> Newsgroups: sci.philosophy.meta
-> Subject: nostprophecies
->
-> Heres my new group, any webtver can post in it.
->
-> Group: alt.discuss.clubs.public.alternative.prophecy.nostprophecies
-> Date: Sun, May 21, 2000, 6:27am (CDT-2) From: NostPro...@webtv.net
-> Charter
-> This Newsgroup is for Nostradamus Prophecies, #1. No trolling is
-> allowed.
=> I am not writing to agree or disagree with Mr. Bill Gates. What I have
=> to say, however, regards Mr. Gates's conscious decision to make me the
=> target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of
=> attacks. First and foremost, the unenlightened aspect of his pranks will
=> create a stir between dotty bums and the ghastly public at large, and
=> everyone with half a brain understands that. [...]
=>
=> Let me say that an armed revolt against Mr. Gates is morally justified.
=> [...]
=>
=> Mr. Gates claims that freedom must be abolished in order for people to
=> be more secure and comfortable. Sound suspicious? Psychotic is a better
=> word.
-> I know this place is about time travel but crop circle makers do time
-> travel. It ties together so I just exsplain how crop circles are made
-> too and time travel. [...]
->
-> Here is the truth,=A0 =A0Highup in the sky just before exiting the
-> atmousfeer there is two big white(Cloud color) spheers side by side with
-> a connector in between, resembling a pair of Eye Glasses without the ear
-> hooks and in three spheerical dimentions
=> Newsgroups: sci.astro
=> Subject: MAGGOTS FROM FOOD PARTICLES
=>
=> I recently did a experiment, I put 4 grams of organic material ( that
=> had been kept uncovered on a kitchen table) into a glass jar which I
=> then hermeticaly sealed, in a few hours life formed in the shape of fly
=> maggots, it is my theory that different kind of organic material (
=> fruit, veggies, fried chicken) form different kind of life, I tried this
=> with inorganic material (rocks, minerals, distilled water etc) for over
=> 30 years without the same results, I even tried applying electrical
=> charges (I got the idea from watching a Frankenstien movie) still no
=> life. But I will keep on trying, because *it* happened once in the
=> past, it just had to happened, believe *me* it had to have happened, if
=> ..not.... what ...other.......explanation...could ..there...be???
-> can a webtv unit be fixed from being hit by lightening?
=> Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking
=> Subject: Kelloggs' Froot Loops Cereal....>>>> DANGER !!!!!!!!!
=>
=> I have broken 2 teeth and ruined a filling from eating this cereal.
=> Kelloggs' chemists calls it
=> "MINERAL DEPOSITS" and it's mixed in the cereal, It's more like "ROCKS"
=> !!
=> My dentist bill was over $1,000.00, Kelloggs'
=> offered me $124.00. Now, is'nt this a fair and honest cereal "GIANT" we
=> have in our Country?
=> I bought 2 boxes and they had the same thing in both !
[...and then the SAME PERSON replied to it using the SAME NAME:]
=> WOW! I was surprised to see your article written here. I have a dental
=> appointment tomorrow because I may have cracked a tooth on stuff! I
=> can't believe someone else had a similar experience. I would like to
=> talk more about this.
-> Is it True that New Order has a new song??!!! Called Brutal???!!!! Where
-> can I hear it in WAV format????!!! And is it true that it is going to be
-> on the soundtrack for DeCaprio's The Beach movie ????!!!!! If that is
-> true about the movie, that if they are on the soundtrack for it, that
-> sucks!!!
-> *hopes that is not true* SOME1 TELL ME WHAT IS TRUE AND WHAT IS NOTT!!
->
-> Thank you.
->
-> PS. I will post a couple for times in case my WebTV e-mail signature
-> messes with any1's Computer.
=> Subject: Is anyone else annoyed?
=>
=> Okay. I've had WebTV for over 2 years now. I see NO significant changes
=> for the better.
-> Howo ou MAE Nws Groups? Please any 1 that can help just email me
=> After hearing the theories of many and me knowing fact, I have come to
=> the conclusion that many would 'Rather' believe a theory, a story, a
=> lie then the truth.
=> This world is so caughtup in theory that it leaves no room for truth.
=> Maybe it's because the truth is so simple and is seemingly something
=> madeup or 'Unknown' is like: 'Since it's unknown, its gotta be
=> complicated.
=> einstines theory of time travel is complicated for it's respect of how
=> it's figured.
-> Are you proud to be the Lowest paid Terds around?
=> Subject: Can illegal activity be traced at WEBTV servers?
=>
=> Hi,
=> I had old E-mail addresses reappear lately. I had deleted them a
=> awhile back. When I turned on WEBTV at startup the old e-mail addresses
=> briefly appeared, then a notice on the screen saying a technical problem
=> at the server(s). One question is, once favorites and old e-mail has
=> been discarded, is it retrievable? Does stuff just vanish? WEBTV
=> people say once gone, gone. I say deleted stuff is probably still
=> there because Law Enforcement would need to be able to trace illegal
=> activity. I know for a fact that most anything sent to the internet in
=> posts can be retrieved. There is a website that has text strings of
=> newsgroups: rec.crafts.metalworking other than www.googles.com archive
=> of same that goes back 5 years or so, but only retrievable from a PC
=> not WEBTV. Also I have done searches for stuff on INFOSEEK and got
=> old email posts in return along with website URL's. We WEB 'bies are
=> not to be able to download anything, but what is the LEGAL definition of
=> download?
Incidentally, I had to strip off giant animated signatures from many
(if not most) of the above articles. Here's an article in which I've
left the signature attached -- because if I removed all 2481 lines of
the signature, there would be nothing left:
-> From: Slic...@webtv.net (~the~ Slickster)
-> Newsgroups: alt.online-service.webtv
-> Subject: hep im lost
-> Date: Sat, 27 May 2000 22:01:56 -0500 (CDT)
-> Organization: WebTV Subscriber
-> Lines: 2481
-> Mime-Version: 1.0 (WebTV)
-> Content-Type: Multipart/Mixed; Boundary=WebTV-Mail-30787-5363
-> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit
-> X-WebTV-Signature: 1
-> ETAsAhQGGejadskOY6zZN79qSIYkcz6NYwIUVtI9srUXymRV66c7jKi5TArtPn8=
-> Content-Disposition: Inline
-> X-WebTV-Stationery: Standard; BGColor=black; TextColor=mediumslateblue
->
->
-> --WebTV-Mail-30787-5363
-> Content-Type: Text/Plain; Charset=US-ASCII
-> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit
->
->
->
->
-> --WebTV-Mail-30787-5363
-> Content-Description: signature
-> Content-Disposition: Inline
-> Content-Type: Text/HTML; Charset=US-ASCII
-> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit
->
-> <html>
-> <meta http-equiv="Content-Fixed"content="text/html">
-> <body bgcolor="black"text="mediumslateblue">
-> <center><img
-> src="http://files.flamingtext.com/files/00/05/02/flamingtext_com.035925474.gif"
-> border=0 alt="Image by FlamingText.com">
-> </center>
-> <br>
-> <center>
-> <font size="2"color="mediumslateblue"><b><i><u>LINKS &
-> SUCH</u></i><b></font></center>
-> <center>
-> <form method=post action=http://www.cgi-free.com/menu.cgi>
-> <select name=URLLink border="2" bgcolor="black"
-> text="olive green" border="2" size="4" width="300">
-> <option
-> value=http://www.geocities.com/slickster_55443/auto.html/>SEARCH
-> MINNESOTA<option
-> value=http://www.geocities.com/slickster_55443/auto.html/>
-> HOMEPAGE
-> <option
-> value=http://community.webtv.net/slick-leg/doc/>
-> PHOTOGRAPHS
-> <option value=http://www.93x.com/> 93X RADIO
-> <option
-> value="http://play.rbn.com/?abcradio/x93/live/x93-16.ra" >
-> 93X RADIO PLAY
-> <option value=http://www.zone105.com/> ZONE 105
-> <option
-> value=http://play.rbn.com/?abcradio/zone105/live/zone-16.ra
-> /> ZONE 105 PLAY
-> <option value=http://www.rockin101.com/> ROCKIN 101
-> <option value=http://www.netradio.com/> NETRADIO
-> <option
-> value=http://www.geocities.com/slickster_55443/purplepride.html>VIKES
-> PURPLE PRIDE
-> <option value=http://www.geocities.com/slickster_55443/brian1.html>
-> CONTACT ME
-> <option value=http://www.com/> FUTURE
-> <option value=http://www.com/> FUTURE
-> <option value=http://www.com/> FUTURE
-> </select><br>
-> <font color="yellow">
-> <input type=submit value="Let's GO! " usestyle
-> borderimage="file://rom/borders/buttonborder2.bif"
-> width="250">
-> </font>
-> </form>
-> </center>
-> <br>
-> <br>
-> <center>
-> <A HREF="http://www.cdnow.com/from=cr-7562305-1"><IMG
-> SRC="http://www.cdnow.com/MN/cdnow.buyweb_credit/upgrade/graphics/logos/cosmic.shaded_3.gif"
-> WIDTH="125" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALT="CDNOW">
-> </center>
-> <br>
-> <center><!-- Begin Beseen Hit counter --> <A
-> HREF="http://www.beseen.com/hc-index.html"> <IMG SRC=
-> "http://pluto.beseen.com/hit.counter?account=slic...@webtv.net-slick&font=WhiteOnBlack&base=182500"
-> BORDER=0></A>
-> <!-- End Beseen Hit counter --></center>
-> <br>
-> <center><font
-> size="3"color="mediumslateblue"><b><i><day><month><year><clock></i></b></font></center>
-> </html>
->
->
->
->
->
->
->
->
->
->
->
-> --WebTV-Mail-30787-5363
-> Content-Description: Voice Mail
-> Content-Disposition: Inline; filename=voicemail-filename
-> Content-Type: Audio/WAV; Name=voicemail-filename
-> Content-Transfer-Encoding: Base64
->
-> UklGRjASAgBXQVZFZm10IBQAAAARAAEAQB8AAA8QAAAAAgQAAgD5A2RhdGEAEgIApW8AAP//////
-> iIiYEAGYzXiGqygBqQi5CSK5CYAAgAAACBBwdwcaIhABAAgICAgICIgAiICA3yOYr5PfCZKcMsCc
-> MqpUgIqIoIp3gpwikJqCzymBCRL7CogZAJkJCAWbgICAIJgQBItyRwGyDDEB2nFHyhkCCACQm1EC
-> myiDnFWomrmbAUhXkZ4hAAghiJlBkJoY0GiC2ojKCYBDJuuLAgkRmZlRBKkgFAsnsI0BmIk4R6G+
-> IIEIiKgKRbAJIspoA6yZyYkCQEfZCyOIiBHaGhS6EMiLNdCMgIiAACgnnYCAAAiBCXKVKDMANCP6
-> KZGdIBFzoK8hAIgIuTkGilKRiyPCjwGqESEiFeg7BIgIkboz8BoBqSER/grJiwG6OTe/AJAICAgI
-> [...]
-> [... 2,370 lines of this omitted without any great loss to you ...]
-> [...]
-> CKgJdAK5vJqAqanbKTVXgZogA9qKkQDrCiEzgpD7y4m5qglxFsqJIAKpiBglADIVkIgJcgORupty
-> Z4CrCiG4DCIxmBs2IYGw24iIQ5i9WSfAqwCAqgqYM4l3E6iZCcurvLsJQXeEu5kBqYsICAiAgCAX
-> mIsimAWQjnBHgYogApmaEZPrGiKJiiAnoQyijAB1BaiKMQLqihmgnCASkayAGqhzB6o4N4C6uxGg
-> jSIi/AwhqKubkbkJCIAAcHeyizERyQtBE5pyIwGZGIDZjLnsKXWCqIgRgLkYIeiaRAKYmripzYia
-> umFHoasgJKCKGBM=
->
-> --WebTV-Mail-30787-5363--
In case you're wondering, his signature contained 33 seconds of techno music
in addition to the more obvious items such as the clock, the hit counter,
the flaming text, the ad for a CD store, the links about the wonders of
Minnesota, and the three broken links reserved for future expansion.
--------------- it is now safe to resume looking at your screen ---------------
Jorn Barger
> => Subject: Is anyone else annoyed?
> =>
> => Okay. I've had WebTV for over 2 years now. I see NO significant changes
> => for the better.
This one I think is important-- Microsoft bought WebTV because they were
about to upgrade it with RealPlayer and Java, and then MS spent the next
N years trying to shoehorn some version of Windows onto it instead...
which they could never manage because the hardware was too limited.
So the complaint is accurate, with the Default Internet Villain.
--
http://www.robotwisdom.com/ "Relentlessly intelligent
yet playful, polymathic in scope of interests, minimalist
but user-friendly design." --Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
Paradigm Fert
> => Subject: Can illegal activity be traced at
> => WEBTV servers?
> => I know for a fact
> => that most anything sent to the internet in
> => posts can be retrieved.
Damn! We're dealing with one smart cookie here!!!
> => There is a website
> => that has text strings of newsgroups:
> => rec.crafts.metalworking other than www.googles.com
> => archive of same that goes back 5 years or so,
I would just like to know why rec.crafts.metalworking is of
interest to four eyed monsters and dinosaurs.
> -> From: Slic...@webtv.net (~the~ Slickster)
> -> Newsgroups: alt.online-service.webtv
> -> Subject: hep im lost
Hey! Yousa stops maiking fun of meesa Jar Jar Binks talking
mon!
> --------------- it is now safe to resume looking at your
> screen ---------------
Arrgh! Mein eyes! The goggles, zey do nothing!
--
Paradigm Fert
members.nbci.com/paradigmlost/entry.html
LINK FOR HENRY ROLLINS FANS:
http://laugh.nzoom.com/story.html?story_rollins.inc