Sick
Rose Marie Holt
because it was basically the same as all the other bad colds I have had,
except that my sinuses seem to have dodged the bullet.
My son stayed home with me last week with the flu (very achy muscles,
fever, red cheeks) and I am ever so glad I didnt catch THAT.
With any luck I will stop wheezing before the Robie Creek Run next week.
nothing like a good run in the chill spring air to spazz the bronchi.
Here is how sick I was:
Today was the first day since Sat that I turned on my computer.
Excuse me, I have to go cough up another chunk of dead lung.
Best, Marie
madge
I speculate that green is this years black.
--
"In theory, there isn't any difference between theory and practice. In
practice, there is." - Yogi Berra
CB
news:rmholt1-99F00D...@news.mindspring.com...
Peace and empathy, Marie.
I didn't think it was possible for my body to contain this much snot. Matter
of fact, I still don't believe it. I think I'm having an "in-body"
experience.
And last night, I had one of those nights where you sleep for about half an
hour, then you wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train
running through the middle of your head, cough, snort, splutter, then you
spend about half an hour trying to get back to sleep - and when you do,
naturally, the whole process repeats itself.
And to top it all off, there was some kind of meeting going on - half within
a dream and half when I was conscious - between a whole panel of comics as
to what constituted a funny joke. It was sort of UN-styled, and the last I
remember Henny Youngman and Bill Hicks were arguing about a particular
motion at hand, but I can't remember what it was. Henny and Bill both looked
surprisingly well, though.
Love,
CB
talysman
> Rose Marie Holt <rmh...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:rmholt1-99F00D...@news.mindspring.com...
> > I had a fever and shortness of breath but I dont think it was SARS
> > because it was basically the same as all the other bad colds I have had,
> > except that my sinuses seem to have dodged the bullet.
> >
> > My son stayed home with me last week with the flu (very achy muscles,
> > fever, red cheeks) and I am ever so glad I didnt catch THAT.
> >
> > With any luck I will stop wheezing before the Robie Creek Run next week.
> > nothing like a good run in the chill spring air to spazz the bronchi.
> >
> > Here is how sick I was:
> >
> > Today was the first day since Sat that I turned on my computer.
> >
> > Excuse me, I have to go cough up another chunk of dead lung.
> >
> > Best, Marie
>
> Peace and empathy, Marie.
>
> I didn't think it was possible for my body to contain this much snot. Matter
> of fact, I still don't believe it. I think I'm having an "in-body"
> experience.
>
> And last night, I had one of those nights where you sleep for about half an
> hour, then you wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train
> running through the middle of your head, cough, snort, splutter, then you
> spend about half an hour trying to get back to sleep - and when you do,
> naturally, the whole process repeats itself.
sick people everywhere! ARK IS CONTAGIOUS!
> And to top it all off, there was some kind of meeting going on - half within
> a dream and half when I was conscious - between a whole panel of comics as
> to what constituted a funny joke. It was sort of UN-styled, and the last I
> remember Henny Youngman and Bill Hicks were arguing about a particular
> motion at hand, but I can't remember what it was. Henny and Bill both looked
> surprisingly well, though.
hmmm... who was it who did the comedy UN, again?
<googles>
dammit, it's not showing up. but I know someone out there, possibly
kibo, posted something about a parallel UN made entirely out of
comedians.
ok, sick people, get better immediately! this command is not only for
rose-marie and CB, but also paula, tamara, and darla.
Kevin S. Wilson
wrote:
> It was sort of UN-styled, and the last I
>remember Henny Youngman and Bill Hicks were arguing about a particular
>motion at hand, but I can't remember what it was. Henny and Bill both looked
>surprisingly well, though.
Bill Hicks? As in the country-swing band "Bill Hicks and His Hot
Licks"? What would he know about comedy?
--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho
"You can safely ignore Kevin in order to
maximise life's experience." --A. Loon, in alt.religion.kibology
robert lindsay
Wilson <res...@spro.net> wrote:
> On Fri, 11 Apr 2003 14:01:52 GMT, "CB" <nos...@mymailbox.please>
> wrote:
>
> > It was sort of UN-styled, and the last I
> >remember Henny Youngman and Bill Hicks were arguing about a particular
> >motion at hand, but I can't remember what it was. Henny and Bill both looked
> >surprisingly well, though.
>
> Bill Hicks? As in the country-swing band "Bill Hicks and His Hot
> Licks"? What would he know about comedy?
nono
this bill hicks, who is undfortunately dead, dammit.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000009QI/qid=1050101075/
sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/002-6835671-5530412?v=glance&s=music
Henry told me about all his CD's.
Even though they are mostly from the Bush I era, they are errily
appropriate today.
--
The time passes like a healthy stool - topato potato
David DeLaney
>I had a fever and shortness of breath but I dont think it was SARS
>because it was basically the same as all the other bad colds I have had,
>except that my sinuses seem to have dodged the bullet.
Are y'all all bettah now, hon?
>Here is how sick I was:
>
>Today was the first day since Sat that I turned on my computer.
...You turn yours -off-?
Dave "as long as win.ini is read-only I seem to have not a care in the world"
DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
CB
Kevin S. Wilson <res...@spro.net> wrote in message
news:lp5e9vsrass6uuoij...@4ax.com...
> On Fri, 11 Apr 2003 14:01:52 GMT, "CB" <nos...@mymailbox.please>
> wrote:
>
> > It was sort of UN-styled, and the last I
> >remember Henny Youngman and Bill Hicks were arguing about a particular
> >motion at hand, but I can't remember what it was. Henny and Bill both
looked
> >surprisingly well, though.
>
> Bill Hicks? As in the country-swing band "Bill Hicks and His Hot
> Licks"? What would he know about comedy?
I smell... a troll! Nygeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
You know dan well who I'm talking about.
Love,
CB
Darla Vladschyk
>ok, sick people, get better immediately! this command is not only for
>rose-marie and CB, but also paula, tamara, and darla.
I'm fine! My share of the small containers of lime Jell-O sent to all
the Arkchyx by Someone was apparently defective, because I am ALIVE
AND WELL!!! Bwahahahahaaa!
-=D=-
___________________________________________________
"PREPARE TO FEEL THE PECK OF DEATH, FOOL!" ---jwgh
___________________________________________________
http://www.yougotta.com/Darla
___________________________________________________
Wiblur the Once
about...
> ok, sick people, get better immediately! this command is not only for
> rose-marie and CB, but also paula, tamara, and darla.
I didn't tell many of you due to having had my quota of sick time already
this last year and not wanting to sound like a total whiner, but I will be
needing a kidney transplant in the forseeable future.
However, in accordance with talysman's commandment, and thanks to
hideously expensive Procrit and good old diruetics, that forseeable future
has been pushed even farther into the future. Also, I'm told that after
about a month, I might even have enough energy to stay out of bed long
enough to do something other than sit at the computer for a while and go
take a wizz (good old diruetics).
CB
CB <nos...@mymailbox.please> wrote in message
news:9f7596052f8d33d0...@news.teranews.com...
And another thing...
(Side note: this is about the third time *in a row* on ARK I've had to reply
to my own post in order to elaborate on an answer. Kinda makes you think I
should be constructing my responses with greater care, don't it?)
Under the heading of Truth Is Stranger Than Trolling, why not check out
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000067V1A/ref=pd_sim_music_5/
103-5415680-3135020?v=glance&s=music
for the swingin' sound of "The Perfect Gig", as played by Bill Hicks? And
why not take advantage of their two-for-one offer, pairing it with "Flying
Saucer Tour Vol. 1"... by Bill Hicks?
The thing is, they both *sound* like they could be Bill Hicks stand-up
albums - he did fancy himself as a rock star - but most people who order
that double are going to have an unpleasant surprise.
One way or another.
Love,
CB
leo sgouros
CB wrote:
> CB <nos...@mymailbox.please> wrote in message
> news:9f7596052f8d33d0...@news.teranews.com...
>
>>Kevin S. Wilson <res...@spro.net> wrote in message
>>news:lp5e9vsrass6uuoij...@4ax.com...
>>
>>>On Fri, 11 Apr 2003 14:01:52 GMT, "CB" <nos...@mymailbox.please>
>>>wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>It was sort of UN-styled, and the last I
>>>>remember Henny Youngman and Bill Hicks were arguing about a particular
>>>>motion at hand, but I can't remember what it was. Henny and Bill both
>>>
>>looked
>>
>>>>surprisingly well, though.
>>>
>>>Bill Hicks? As in the country-swing band "Bill Hicks and His Hot
>>>Licks"? What would he know about comedy?
>>
>>I smell... a troll! Nygeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
>>
>>You know dan well who I'm talking about.
>
>
> And another thing...
>
> (Side note: this is about the third time *in a row* on ARK I've had to reply
> to my own post in order to elaborate on an answer. Kinda makes you think I
> should be constructing my responses with greater care, don't it?)
>
If you think too much about elaborating on an answer or posting to
yourself(which leader Kibo has done, so get over it)you want to get over it.
Are you just another bozo on the bus or not?If you are, then explain
when you feel like it, or not at all, or sometimes.
David DeLaney
>talysman <taly...@globalsurrealism.com> was about...
>> ok, sick people, get better immediately! this command is not only for
>> rose-marie and CB, but also paula, tamara, and darla.
>
> I didn't tell many of you due to having had my quota of sick time already
>this last year and not wanting to sound like a total whiner, but I will be
>needing a kidney transplant in the forseeable future.
Well DAMN boy, if you can't whine about THAT I'd hate to think how bad things
would have to be before you WERE allowed to whine!
> However, in accordance with talysman's commandment, and thanks to
>hideously expensive Procrit and good old diruetics, that forseeable future
>has been pushed even farther into the future.
HOORAY FOR L R*N H*BB*RD! And hooray for pictures of John Travolta too,
though I can still do without hearing him actually talk...
> Also, I'm told that after
>about a month, I might even have enough energy to stay out of bed long
>enough to do something other than sit at the computer for a while and go
>take a wizz (good old diruetics).
Get A Mac Laptop! Then you can _sit_, take a whizz, and be online all at
once! And be Mac-king while you do!
Dave "a big shout out to the homies in the nephrology business" DeLaney
Paula
> talysman <taly...@globalsurrealism.com> wrote:
>
>
> >ok, sick people, get better immediately! this command is not only for
> >rose-marie and CB, but also paula, tamara, and darla.
>
> I'm fine! My share of the small containers of lime Jell-O sent to all
> the Arkchyx by Someone was apparently defective, because I am ALIVE
> AND WELL!!! Bwahahahahaaa!
Stop gloating or I'll send you some of my germs. I have to be extra
sick and missing my girls at the same time and it's just not fair! And
the lime Jell-o wasn't even that good!
--
Paula
"It all must have worked very well, because I have hardly ever
been killed by terrorists right up until the present day. "
--John Salt
Paula
> talysman <taly...@globalsurrealism.com> was overheard mumbling something
> about...
>
> > ok, sick people, get better immediately! this command is not only for
> > rose-marie and CB, but also paula, tamara, and darla.
>
> I didn't tell many of you due to having had my quota of sick time already
> this last year and not wanting to sound like a total whiner, but I will be
> needing a kidney transplant in the forseeable future.
The diabetes or something else? That is some BAD LUCK you have been
having. I think you can claim an extra quota of sick time. I think you
can also claim the title for most grossly sick. Eyebulbs and kidneys.
EWWW!
>
> However, in accordance with talysman's commandment, and thanks to
> hideously expensive Procrit and good old diruetics, that forseeable future
> has been pushed even farther into the future. Also, I'm told that after
> about a month, I might even have enough energy to stay out of bed long
> enough to do something other than sit at the computer for a while and go
> take a wizz (good old diruetics).
No dialysis? Don't let them rip you off, mang! If you're gonna have
kidney problems, you have a right to the joys of dialysis! Just ask all
my in-laws. They'll tell you. Even the ones who now have transplanted
kidneys got to have dialysis for a while. Also, just so you know, I
don't have enough ice in my house to fill the bathtub, so don't bother
coming out here looking for help.
Wiblur the Once
about...
> The diabetes or something else? That is some BAD LUCK you have been
> having. I think you can claim an extra quota of sick time. I think
> you can also claim the title for most grossly sick. Eyebulbs and
> kidneys. EWWW!
Diabetes. Let this be a lession to all you kibologists out there: Don't
get diabetes!!!11!! If you refuse to follow my council, don't be a
numbskull like I was and ignore it for many years, or else you too can
become interchangable parts man! (although Cap'n Wiblur the One-eyed does
have a certain charm to it, yarrr).
> No dialysis? Don't let them rip you off, mang! If you're gonna have
> kidney problems, you have a right to the joys of dialysis!
All in good time, for now I just get to savor the flavor of l337
tiredness.
Kevin S. Wilson
You should start reading Barbara's posts. She would've saved you from
this recycled troll, since she didn't fall for it.
But HAND, anyway.
--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho
"Sometimes I almost feel/Just like a human being"
Stacia
>mmmtob...@earthlink.ent (Paula) was overheard mumblings something
>about...
>> The diabetes or something else? That is some BAD LUCK you have been
>> having. I think you can claim an extra quota of sick time. I think
>> you can also claim the title for most grossly sick. Eyebulbs and
>> kidneys. EWWW!
> Diabetes. Let this be a lession to all you kibologists out there: Don't
>get diabetes!!!11!! If you refuse to follow my council, don't be a
>numbskull like I was and ignore it for many years, or else you too can
>become interchangable parts man!
You can have one of my kidneys, but I have a feeling your body wouldn't
approve. It's probably only got a few months left in it anyways. These
'68 Novas just don't last like they used to.
In happy news I'm trying to cut down on sugars to keep from turning into
Interchanable Parts Woman, as Wiblur told me to do. Or not do. Anyhow,
the sugar free candies out there are yummy but they can give you nasty
tummy problems. Whast's with all this fat-free and sugar-free stuff
giving you oily anal geysers?
* * *
Stacia * sta...@world.std.com * http://world.std.com/~stacia/
"The ironic part is that, generally, a forest is not a gold-based economy."
Matt McIrvin
wrote:
> In happy news I'm trying to cut down on sugars to keep from turning into
> Interchanable Parts Woman, as Wiblur told me to do. Or not do. Anyhow,
> the sugar free candies out there are yummy but they can give you nasty
> tummy problems. Whast's with all this fat-free and sugar-free stuff
> giving you oily anal geysers?
Last Monday I mentioned to my grandmother that I had gotten a bread
machine and was having lots of fun making bread with it. She
immediately warned me of my rich genetic heritage of adult-onset
diabetes. At least she's being pretty good about cutting down on the
carbs.
Worse: My young cousin who looks like Mimi Tobler has a gluten allergy
and the bread she can eat is made from rice flour and xanthan gum. As
far as I'm concerned rice flour is for making noodly things, preferably
big thick Korean rice sticks that you can mix with squid tentacles and
incredibly hot red sauce. The intersection of rice and bread is just
wrong. But I just read some news article a while ago claiming that
some gigantic fraction of all people have undiagnosed gluten allergies
that are the cause of many of their ills and troubles. This sounds
fishy to me, which reminds me that I just managed to filet a trout for
the first time. Actually I did two, and the second one came out OK. I
grilled them up, gave Sam the more or less intact, symmetrical one and
ate the one that looked sort of mulched.
Sam had been shunning the trout because in its unprepared state it
looked like, well, a couple of gutted dead fish with their heads and
tails cut off but with other fins sticking out in various places, which
was not an appetizing sight in the freezer. But I decided to prepare
them without asking first because it is easier to ask forgiveness than
permission, and I guessed that she would change her tune when she saw
them cooked, which was true. Especially since I gave her the good one.
But Kibo gave me a book about bread and it is giving me all sorts of
ideas for putting random items in the bread machine to make mechanical
facsimiles of the breads of all nations. If I get ambitious I could
even use the thing just as an auto-kneader and bake it in the oven, and
that way I could make those things that are called "cottage loaves" but
look suspiciously like a conventionalized flying saucer. And then I
could get some nylon filament and make some mysterious photographs and
eat the evidence before the hoax can be uncovered, for I am Roald Dahl,
Man of the Paranormal.
If I get really ambitious I could make some more or less entirely
hand-built bread, but this seems like too much work for our atomic
push-button world of the future in which we live.
--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
Paula
Jeremy Impson
> Wiblur the Once <jcha...@aros.net> writes:
> >mmmtob...@earthlink.ent (Paula) was overheard mumblings something
> >about...
>
> >> The diabetes or something else? That is some BAD LUCK you have been
> >> having. I think you can claim an extra quota of sick time. I think
> >> you can also claim the title for most grossly sick. Eyebulbs and
> >> kidneys. EWWW!
>
> > Diabetes. Let this be a lession to all you kibologists out there: Don't
> >get diabetes!!!11!! If you refuse to follow my council, don't be a
> >numbskull like I was and ignore it for many years, or else you too can
> >become interchangable parts man!
>
> You can have one of my kidneys, but I have a feeling your body wouldn't
> approve. It's probably only got a few months left in it anyways. These
> '68 Novas just don't last like they used to.
> In happy news I'm trying to cut down on sugars to keep from turning into
> Interchanable Parts Woman, as Wiblur told me to do. Or not do. Anyhow,
> the sugar free candies out there are yummy but they can give you nasty
> tummy problems. Whast's with all this fat-free and sugar-free stuff
> giving you oily anal geysers?
I recommend Metamucil. It works for me.
--Jeremy
Still not funny.
--
Jeremy Impson
jdim...@acm.org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson
talysman
> Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
> > If I get really ambitious I could make some more or less entirely
> > hand-built bread, but this seems like too much work for our atomic
> > push-button world of the future in which we live.
>
> Why oh why did Sam find you first?
dear paula,
if some day I get a bread maker, can I make you bread? then sam
can be jealous of *YOU*, because I have colin baker's autograph
somewhere.
John D Salt
news:b7d1p8$re6$2...@pcls4.std.com:
[Snips]
> they can give you nasty tummy problems. Whast's with all
> this fat-free and sugar-free stuff giving you oily anal
> geysers?
Wasn't "sorbitol" and "anal leakage" an a.r.k. meme at one time?
All the best,
John.
Stacia
>sta...@world.std.com (Stacia) wrote:
>[Snips]
>> they can give you nasty tummy problems. Whast's with all
>> this fat-free and sugar-free stuff giving you oily anal
>> geysers?
>Wasn't "sorbitol" and "anal leakage" an a.r.k. meme at one time?
Yes, it was, and joEbay is the one who started the oily anal geysers
phrase, if I recall correctly. That may have been a discussion on
prescription weight loss drugs, however. I recall muttering incoherently
about how the drugs my dad took for his congestive heart failure had side
effects like "stroke" and "death".
* * *
Stacia * sta...@world.std.com * http://world.std.com/~stacia/
"Hiding in my USENET, safe within my Obvious Bag.
I amuse no one and no one amuses me."
Kevin S. Wilson
<mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>Sam had been shunning the trout because in its unprepared state it
>looked like, well, a couple of gutted dead fish with their heads and
>tails cut off but with other fins sticking out in various places, which
>was not an appetizing sight in the freezer.
Kitchen shears, Matt. Snip, snip--the fins are gone. You can even go
whole hog and strip the skin off the trout, starting at the head and
turning the skin inside out like removing a tight glove.
Filleting them is more work than it's worth, if you're the one doing
the work.
--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho
Matt McIrvin
Kevin S. Wilson <res...@spro.net> wrote:
> On Sun, 13 Apr 2003 22:30:29 -0400, Matt McIrvin
> <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
> >Sam had been shunning the trout because in its unprepared state it
> >looked like, well, a couple of gutted dead fish with their heads and
> >tails cut off but with other fins sticking out in various places, which
> >was not an appetizing sight in the freezer.
>
> Kitchen shears, Matt. Snip, snip--the fins are gone. You can even go
> whole hog and strip the skin off the trout, starting at the head and
> turning the skin inside out like removing a tight glove.
>
> Filleting them is more work than it's worth, if you're the one doing
> the work.
I knew Sam wasn't never going to eat them with the bones in.
Usually I buy fish at the supermarket pre-boned, but these particular
fish had been caught in a local lake by some friend of my
father-in-law's, so this was not an option.
Matt McIrvin
mmmtob...@earthlink.ent (Paula) wrote:
> Why oh why did Sam find you first?
I don't know but I think she may be regretting it at the moment.
This is a story about faith.
This year as usual I put off filing taxes until (almost) the last
minute. When I came home I was ready to do it but I couldn't remember
where the W-2s, 1098, 1099-Rs, etc. were filed. (For non-US readers:
These are the forms that tell you how much you made and how much was
withheld already for taxes from your salary, in interest-bearing bank
accounts, etc. The 1098 says how much interest you paid on a mortgage,
which is deductible from income.)
There's a folder file inside a wooden desk up here in the
computer/office/cat poop/mess room, but Sam said, and I agreed, that
they were probably hidden in a pile of disorganized kipple on the
living room coffee table, where we keep much of our incoming mail that
we are too lazy to sort through.
Well, we dug through that pile and they weren't there.
There had been various other places where accumulation of junk mail had
been hastily pushed from the dining table, where an overflow of it
sometimes gathered, because we had company coming over. We looked in
those various drawers and boxes and suchlike, with no luck.
Perhaps the cats had pushed the documents under something. I looked
under furniture all over the house. I emptied wastebaskets. I
ransacked sock drawers.
Sam by this point was beginning to get too frustrated to do much more.
I figured that I could file the standard four-month extension if
nothing else. Meanwhile I began to use detective reasoning. I started
looking at the postmarks on the various pieces of junk mail. Different
piles had dates from different periods, but one (shoved into a drawer
in Sam's old dresser with Bionic Woman stickers on it) had letters from
around the time the various tax information forms must have arrived.
On the desk upstairs I came up with some bills that needed paying, one
of them a bit overdue. Well, at least something got done. I paid them
online. Then it was back to ransacking the house. By this time I was
thinking out loud to myself loudly and badgering Sam about whether she
had thought of anything else and generally being a pest.
Finally I gave up and decided to look into filing an extension until we
could get duplicate forms from everyone involved, no doubt after
hearing a stern lecture about the importance of proper record-keeping.
The IRS will give you a four-month filing extension, no questions
asked, if you fill out a brief form, and the Massachusetts Department
of Revenue will give a six-month one if you fill out a more annoying
form (Massachusetts tax forms are always more annoying than federal
ones).
It wasn't quite that easy. While these various offices of state will
give automatic filing extensions, naturally they still want your money.
So you have to estimate whether you owe them anything and pay
estimated tax if you do, or else you'll have to pay penalties and
interest later. So I had to have some estimate of the numbers that were
on the missing forms. In the case of my salary I really needed an
end-of-year pay stub, and that was back at my office.
So I drove all the way back to my office and got the requisite pay
stub, and then drove back home. The whole time, I was running
increasingly outlandish scenarios backward and forward in my head about
how the forms might have been put in one pile and then thrown out,
lost, or mysteriously stolen by my many enemies, they plot against me,
I tell you. Sam had decided to stop worrying about the whole sorry
business by this point. I was still in minor freak-out mode and asked
her if anything had magically appeared; she told me that, no, it
hadn't, but she was doing laundry. Good for her.
So then it was on to the extension forms. These could, at least, be
printed out from the Web. The federal one, as it turned out, was
trivial to fill out, given a ballpark estimate of taxes, and could be
filed by telephone, which was easy and fast. (I think the IRS gets a
bum rap sometimes; they do some things quite efficiently.)
The Massachusetts form (which I actually tackled first) was trying to
be the same sort of thing but fell short in various tiny ways that made
it a complete pain in the ass. Just like every form that comes from
Mass DOR. The wording was inconsistent; the form itself unnecessarily
complex; strange obstacles to completion popped up at unexpected times.
As it turns out, it's possible to re-use the federal form for the
state, but only if you don't owe anything, and we seemed to owe money
to Massachusetts. It, too, could be filed by phone, with an electronic
funds transfer dance you could dance in case of money owed, and in fact
the form had strange admonitions on it seeming to imply that this was
mandatory (contradicted by other paragraphs on the next page); but the
line was perpetually busy. A robot voice offered to call me back if I
pressed 3, which action produced another, weirdly distorted robot voice
telling me that I couldn't actually do that and should dial the number
directly. Eventually I gave up and filled it out on paper and wrote
out a check.
Once all this was done, I gathered up my copies for my own records, and
my tele-file confirmation number for the IRS, and all the other
information I had managed to glean, and decided to be a good boy for once
and file them all away in a folder in the folder file under the desk.
Where I found our W-2, 1099-R, and 1098 forms.
I am a man of little faith.
I dropped the Massachusetts extension in the mail and plan to take my
sweet time filing our taxes. I think I've earned some relaxation.
Whose TITAN Elbow
berichtnieuws...news:b7d1p8$re6$2...@pcls4.std.com:
> Anyhow,
> the sugar free candies out there are yummy but they can give you nasty
> tummy problems.
Xylitol! Not the others!
"Xylitol is right here, inside, already."
Only X Y L I T O L!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--
"There's nothing wrong with being weird. You have no idea how weird I
am"---Hannibal Lecter
Darla Vladschyk
>Usually I buy fish at the supermarket pre-boned, but these particular
>fish had been caught in a local lake by some friend of my
>father-in-law's, so this was not an option.
Oh my GOD, Matt McIrvin. Nono, that wasn't an exclamation of awed
recognition, it was an expression of horror. You ate fish caught in
an actual LAKE?!? Are you insane?? The only quasi-safe fish to eat
these days comes from a heavily regulated fish FARM, where the fishies
swim in Evian and are not allowed to copulate, and the fish doots are
filtered out, and they are fed carefully controlled amounts of 100%
pure fish food pellets.
You CANNOT eat fish from some disgusting lake, where the lakely
inhabitants fuck free and poop where they may and eat God only knows
what incredible crap off the muddy bottom. Lakes are full of oil
slicks and algae and rotting watergrasses, there is gasoline from
Sea-Doos and people-pee from kids and adults too by-Jesus bad
mannered to piss before they leave home.
And there's your trout, the trout you just fed your lovely wife for
crying out loud, swimming around in that muck, eating it, breathing
it, and as a result too by-Jesus stupid to realize that there was a
sharp shiny hook just athwart that sad bit of feather your
father-in-law's friend was dangling in the murk with one hand whilst
he was holding his member with the other, pissing off the side of his
boat!
I'll tell you something for nothing, Matt McIrvin: You Giant Brane
Guys would all be untimely in your graves if some of us more
common-sensicle folk weren't around to look out for you!
NOW NO MORE LAKE FISH, you hear me?!?
I hope Mrs. McIrvin isn't feeling too poorly as yet.
-=D=-
___________________________________________________
"Iraq will not be defeated. Iraq has now already
achieved victory - apart from some technicalities."
---Mohsen Khalil, Iraqi Ambassador to the Arab League::
talysman
I think you misspelled:
"AH, MERCURY! sweetest of the transition metals!"
James Vandenberg
[snip fish eating horror story]
Dear Darla,
I have eaten fish caught from a river here, that I caught
myself. I can honestly say the only yucky thing in that river was fish
poo, and that's completely natural, and probably all eaten up by
bacteria already. It (the fish, not the poo) was also very tasty.
I would have caught some yabbies too, but I think they are a protected
species. There were other species in that river that get all sick when
there's nothing but all natural fish poo and water. I expect if you
filtered out all the fish poo and silt in that water, you'd end up with
something like Evian. Except not as expensive.
Ja-and-it-doesn't-come-in-bottles-mes
--
James Vandenberg Email: james at vandenberg.dropbear.id.au
GPG FP= 65AB 179A D884 EDC6 216D FE6A 6833 02BC 4425 4F70
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. ICQ: 151135390
Beware! Sometimes forks and candles fall from the sky.
Rose Marie Holt
d...@gatekeeper.vic.com (David DeLaney) wrote:
> Rose Marie Holt <rmh...@mindspring.com> wrote:
> >I had a fever and shortness of breath but I dont think it was SARS
> >because it was basically the same as all the other bad colds I have had,
> >except that my sinuses seem to have dodged the bullet.
>
> Are y'all all bettah now, hon?
>
> >Here is how sick I was:
> >
> >Today was the first day since Sat that I turned on my computer.
>
> ...You turn yours -off-?
>
> Dave "as long as win.ini is read-only I seem to have not a care in the world"
> DeLaney
I am better except that I am sleeping about 10-12 hours/night. This is
the first time I have logged on since last time.
I donut turn the computer off, I just put it to sleep. Sorry for the
confusion.
Rose Marie Holt
"CB" <nos...@mymailbox.please> wrote:
> Rose Marie Holt <rmh...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:rmholt1-99F00D...@news.mindspring.com...
> > Best, Marie
>
> Peace and empathy, Marie.
>
> I didn't think it was possible for my body to contain this much snot. Matter
> of fact, I still don't believe it. I think I'm having an "in-body"
> experience.
>
> And last night, I had one of those nights where you sleep for about half an
> hour, then you wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train
> running through the middle of your head, cough, snort, splutter, then you
> spend about half an hour trying to get back to sleep - and when you do,
> naturally, the whole process repeats itself.
>
> And to top it all off, there was some kind of meeting going on - half within
> a dream and half when I was conscious - between a whole panel of comics as
> to what constituted a funny joke. It was sort of UN-styled, and the last I
> remember Henny Youngman and Bill Hicks were arguing about a particular
> motion at hand, but I can't remember what it was. Henny and Bill both looked
> surprisingly well, though.
>
> Love,
> CB
>
>
Wow hallucinations!
I didnt do anything this exciting except while sleeping I had an
uncontrollable coughing fit that woke me up. WHile sitting up to cough
I apparently conked the BF in the chin. I coughed for a long time, but
did not puke or get a nosebleed. So it could have been worse.
Rose Marie Holt
Wiblur the Once <jcha...@aros.net> wrote:
As an intern I did a month on the kidney service and every time I peed I
felt very grateful.
You'd think kidneys wouldnt add insult to injury by stopping making EPO
when they stop making proper pee. They are supposed to be the smartest
organ in the body.
Good luck and best wishes.
Marie
Kevin S. Wilson
Vladschyk) wrote:
>Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
>>Usually I buy fish at the supermarket pre-boned, but these particular
>>fish had been caught in a local lake by some friend of my
>>father-in-law's, so this was not an option.
>
>Oh my GOD, Matt McIrvin. Nono, that wasn't an exclamation of awed
>recognition, it was an expression of horror. You ate fish caught in
>an actual LAKE?!? Are you insane?? The only quasi-safe fish to eat
>these days comes from a heavily regulated fish FARM, where the fishies
>swim in Evian and are not allowed to copulate, and the fish doots are
>filtered out, and they are fed carefully controlled amounts of 100%
>pure fish food pellets.
>
If you're eating farm-raised rainbow trout in the United Snakes, it's
probably came from the town in which I was born and partly raised. You
can use this fun fact to win bets at restaurants.
Also, Darla is insane. Some of you folks spend a lot of time around
asphalt and concrete, don't you?
David DeLaney
>As an intern I did a month on the kidney service and every time I peed I
>felt very grateful.
And yet it's considered Not Done to talk about that feeling in polite
society... <shivering>
>You'd think kidneys wouldnt add insult to injury by stopping making EPO
>when they stop making proper pee. They are supposed to be the smartest
>organ in the body.
Yeah, but look what organ is TELLING you that!
Dave "no wait, that doesn't work the same for gurlz" DeLaney
Darla Vladschyk
>Darla Vladschyk <DarlaVl...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>[snip fish eating horror story]
>
>Dear Darla,
>
>I have eaten fish caught from a river here...
Well you know, there you have it. You're as wacky as a three-dollar
bill there, James me boy--- and who's to say it didn't come on you
from stuffing poo-covered fish into your piehole? Stay away from the
poofish for a while, James me lad, and see if your head doesn't clear
up right smartly.
Steve Christensen
>
>You CANNOT eat fish from some disgusting lake, where the lakely
>inhabitants fuck free and poop where they may and eat God only knows
>what incredible crap off the muddy bottom. Lakes are full of oil
>slicks and algae and rotting watergrasses, there is gasoline from
>Sea-Doos and people-pee from kids and adults too by-Jesus bad
>mannered to piss before they leave home.
That's why it's called Flavor Country. The poo? You're soaking in it!
-Steve
--
Your relevant points have no place in my argument! AWAY! -- Ben Allard, a.r.k.
Steve Christensen
>
>Kitchen shears, Matt. Snip, snip--the fins are gone. You can even go
>whole hog and strip the skin off the trout, starting at the head and
>turning the skin inside out like removing a tight glove.
>
>Filleting them is more work than it's worth, if you're the one doing
>the work.
Somewhere in there is an OJ Simpson joke waiting to spring on us unawares.
Wiblur the Once
something about...
> You're as wacky as a three-dollar bill
On the radio here, they are having a contest to win a trip to
Canukistania and one of the prizes makes a much better meme:
"A pocket full of loonies!"
Matt McIrvin
> If you're eating farm-raised rainbow trout in the United Snakes, it's
> probably came from the town in which I was born and partly raised. You
> can use this fun fact to win bets at restaurants.
>
> Also, Darla is insane. Some of you folks spend a lot of time around
> asphalt and concrete, don't you?
I read Neal Stephenson's _Zodiac_, so I know not to eat fish that were
caught in Fort Point Channel unless Toxic Spiderman already plugged all
the PCB outflow pipes.
As for the risk of mercury poisoning, well, I eat maybe one wild fish a
year, if that, so I don't think this is a huge problem.
I did hear recently that farm-raised salmon and steelhead are fed red
pigment to make their meat pink (otherwise the farm diet would make it
unpink), and this stuff can cause vision problems if eaten in too great
a quantity, and the EU is currently regulating the acceptable level
down to below what's used over here. But I do not know if this is a
real problem for fish-eaters or just the EU being super-picky again.
N. Gergen
> Last Monday I mentioned to my grandmother that I had gotten a bread
> machine and was having lots of fun making bread with it. She
> immediately warned me of my rich genetic heritage of adult-onset
> diabetes. At least she's being pretty good about cutting down on the
> carbs.
No carbs are good if you like NUMMY, NUMMY KETONES!!!
(Actually, I think it's pretty sick that the American diet is so "over-
engineered" that this kind of diet doesn't have grave consequences.)
Whatever happened to complex carbohydrates? And tea and toast?
> But Kibo gave me a book about bread and it is giving me all sorts of
> ideas for putting random items in the bread machine to make mechanical
> facsimiles of the breads of all nations. If I get ambitious I could
> even use the thing just as an auto-kneader and bake it in the oven, and
> that way I could make those things that are called "cottage loaves" but
> look suspiciously like a conventionalized flying saucer. And then I
> could get some nylon filament and make some mysterious photographs and
> eat the evidence before the hoax can be uncovered, for I am Roald Dahl,
> Man of the Paranormal.
One word: SPONGE!
No, not the kind that wears pants. It's a starter batch of yeast, left
to ferment overnight so that you can give saccharomyces cerevisiae and
its friends time to create lots of yummy metabolites. Your bread will
thank you.
> If I get really ambitious I could make some more or less entirely
> hand-built bread, but this seems like too much work for our atomic
> push-button world of the future in which we live.
Wuss. That reminds me of a story about back in the day when "web" inter-
faces were getting popular for reading POP mailboxes. My girlfriend at
the time was going on aboot them and I said "What's wrong with telnet?"
And she said, "You're SO Amish!" Needless to say, these days I use SSH.
(Oh, and >>>I<<<, ME, ME, MEEEEE! I've baked bread in a wood fired oven,
fired wit wood I'd cut and split with an AXE! And pizza too, topped
with oyster mushrooms I'd foraged myself. Go put that in your Easy Bake
oven and smoke it, pink boy!)
"A Commitment to Quality"
N. Gergen
--
I, Timmy, candy-crunching warrior of Earth, have good news and bad news.
The good news is that I named my nickel Philip!
What's the bad news?
It's a GIRL nickel!
N. Gergen
> I did hear recently that farm-raised salmon and steelhead are fed red
> pigment to make their meat pink (otherwise the farm diet would make it
> unpink), and this stuff can cause vision problems if eaten in too great
> a quantity, and the EU is currently regulating the acceptable level
> down to below what's used over here. But I do not know if this is a
> real problem for fish-eaters or just the EU being super-picky again.
Hmm.... red... red... What could make it red? Cinnabar is red.
Do you think they use that?
"A Commitment to Quality"
N. Gergen
--
"I had a lawyer once, until I boiled him in his own juices.
It's a side of me that no one knows." -SGC2C
Kevin S. Wilson
wrote:
>Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
>> I did hear recently that farm-raised salmon and steelhead are fed red
>> pigment to make their meat pink (otherwise the farm diet would make it
>> unpink), and this stuff can cause vision problems if eaten in too great
>> a quantity, and the EU is currently regulating the acceptable level
>> down to below what's used over here. But I do not know if this is a
>> real problem for fish-eaters or just the EU being super-picky again.
>
>Hmm.... red... red... What could make it red? Cinnabar is red.
>Do you think they use that?
No, I don't. But then again, I'm not an idiot.
It's probably something like this stuff:
"NatuRose algae meal is safe natural source of astaxanthin derived
from a unique strain of the microalgae, Haematococcus pluvialis. The
majority of the NatuRose carotenoid fraction is astaxanthin, with
about 15% of the remaining fraction consisting of canthaxanthin,
lutein and beta-carotene. NatuRose is spray dried and formulated into
a fine dark red powder and is currently used worldwide as a coloration
and nutrition source for numerous species of animals. It has been
successfully used for pigmenting shrimp (P. monodon, P japonicus),
rainbow trout, coho, Atlantic salmon, poultry eggs, and sea bream.
NatuRose natural astaxanthin has also been extensively tested and has
demonstrated exceptional pigmentation of koi and tropicals (marine and
fresh water)."
For the record, I will not be trolled into a discussion of whether
"pigmented" is a verb or not.
Jacob W. Haller
> Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
> > I did hear recently that farm-raised salmon and steelhead are fed red
> > pigment to make their meat pink (otherwise the farm diet would make it
> > unpink), and this stuff can cause vision problems if eaten in too great
> > a quantity, and the EU is currently regulating the acceptable level
> > down to below what's used over here. But I do not know if this is a
> > real problem for fish-eaters or just the EU being super-picky again.
>
> Hmm.... red... red... What could make it red?
I'm sure it's something all-natural and delicious, such as human blood.
Mmm, human blood! But don't trust me -- here's an unsolicited
testamonial from the beloved sound visionary Talysman the Undead-Beatle,
late of Interröbang Cartel!
_____ When I'm hard at work putting down a
///|||\\\ killer buzzsaw whine to throw into the
||/ \|| mix, it's HUMAN BLOOD that keeps me going!
||9 9|| /
|| (_) ||
|\ vvv /|
/'--^--'\
/ NOISE \
/ /|FEST |\ \
/_/ |,,,,,| \_\
WW / /^\ \ WW
( ( ) )
__\,,\ /,,/__
(______Y______)
Human blood! Ask for it by name!
-jwgh
--
"Medicine was so backwards in the early 1500s that the curative powers
of the leech had not yet been discovered."
- Joel Achenbach, _Why Things Are Volume II: The Big Picture_
Rich Holmes
> Human fetal blood! Ask for it by name!
IFYmemeFY
--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes <http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/>
"We're waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool says to push on." -- Pete Seeger
Jacob W. Haller
> sp...@jwgh.org (Jacob W. Haller) writes:
>
> > Human fetal pigs! Ask for it by name!
>
> IFYmemeFY
IFYPFY
Whose TITAN Elbow
berichtnieuws...news:3e9b9f09....@news.eastlink.ca:
> The only quasi-safe fish to eat
> these days comes from a heavily regulated fish FARM
No. Farm Fish are fed DEADLY TOXINS, like euthanised pets and waste oils!
Only eat wild fishes from Alaska or Iceland.
Whose TITAN Elbow
berichtnieuws...news:1ftjcfu.o3il6y1325txsN%ger...@armory.com:
> Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>
>> Last Monday I mentioned to my grandmother that I had gotten a bread
>> machine and was having lots of fun making bread with it. She
>> immediately warned me of my rich genetic heritage of adult-onset
>> diabetes. At least she's being pretty good about cutting down on the
>> carbs.
>
> No carbs are good if you like NUMMY, NUMMY KETONES!!!
IIRC, we've only enough enzymes for about 50 g of protein per day. That's 4
calories per gram, so really you can only use about 200 calories a day in
protein, out of about 2000-3000 calories. The rest of it? Heh! Teh rest of
it turns into DEADLY TOXINS! High-nutrient, low-calorie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> (Actually, I think it's pretty sick that the American diet is so "over-
> engineered" that this kind of diet doesn't have grave consequences.)
>
> Whatever happened to complex carbohydrates? And tea and toast?
>
1 theory that may be true: Stay away from ALL soda pop and you won't get
teh diabetes!
Meanwhile...X Y L I T O L!!!
Ted Frank
Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>I did hear recently that farm-raised salmon and steelhead are fed red
>pigment to make their meat pink (otherwise the farm diet would make it
>unpink), and this stuff can cause vision problems if eaten in too great
>a quantity, and the EU is currently regulating the acceptable level
>down to below what's used over here. But I do not know if this is a
>real problem for fish-eaters or just the EU being super-picky again.
It's funny, because the best salmon I ever had was Alaskan ivory salmon,
also unpink.
b r e t t
Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
> I dropped the Massachusetts extension in the mail and plan to take my
> sweet time filing our taxes. I think I've earned some relaxation.
This would probably be a bad time to mention that I got my refund check
over a month ago.
b
--
www.askesis.org
yet another thing molecules can do,
given a billion years.
Joseph Michael Bay
>As for the risk of mercury poisoning, well, I eat maybe one wild fish a
>year, if that, so I don't think this is a huge problem.
Did you know the average fish has more mercury than a rectal thermometer?
Would you eat a rectal thermometer?
Well, I would. Ahh, mercury. Sweetest of the transition metals ... mmm.
--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
www.stanford.edu/~jmbay/ LICK HERE
(you may be one of the lucky 25!)
we are here to protect you from the terrible secret of space
Ben Allard
> Did you know the average fish has more mercury than a rectal
> thermometer?
>
> Would you eat a rectal thermometer?
>
> Well, I would. Ahh, mercury. Sweetest of the transition metals ...
> mmm.
Check out my cool new hair-dryer!
Yeah, you can see it!
--ben
Mark Hill
> Did you know the average fish has more mercury than a rectal thermometer?
>
> Would you eat a rectal thermometer?
Has it been used first?
John D Salt
news:m21xzvy...@epicentre.net:
"First cigarette in weeks, and it has to be a "V"".
[This punchline is brought to you by courtesy of MouldyOldJokes
Inc., as part of its public service project to re-cycle the jokes
of yesteryear rather than having them deposited in
environmentally-damaging landfills.]
All the best,
John.
Joseph Michael Bay
Ben Allard
> /Are/ my methods ... unsound?
This is a game? You spend two hours hanging wind chimes and then you
fight?!
--ben
Joseph Michael Bay
Ben Allard
> Ben Allard <benjami...@hotmail.com> writes:
>
>>jm...@Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) wrote:
>
>>> /Are/ my methods ... unsound?
>
>>This is a game? You spend two hours hanging wind chimes and then you
>>fight?!
>
> Quit bein' a bitch and come on!
Save it for Queen Doppelpopillos, doppelganger!
--ben
Joseph Michael Bay
>jm...@Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) wrote:
>> Ben Allard <benjami...@hotmail.com> writes:
>>
>>>jm...@Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) wrote:
>>
>>>> /Are/ my methods ... unsound?
>>
>>>This is a game? You spend two hours hanging wind chimes and then you
>>>fight?!
>>
>> Quit bein' a bitch and come on!
>Save it for Queen Doppelpopillos, doppelganger!
Guyet!
Ben Allard
> Ben Allard <benjami...@hotmail.com> writes:
>>Save it for Queen Doppelpopillos, doppelganger!
>
> Guyet!
Aaaaah!
--ben
circadian rhyme
Whose TITAN Elbow <crgre00...@newsguy.com> wrote:
>DarlaVl...@hotmail.com (Darla Vladschyk)schreef in
>berichtnieuws...news:3e9b9f09....@news.eastlink.ca:
>> The only quasi-safe fish to eat
>> these days comes from a heavily regulated fish FARM
>No. Farm Fish are fed DEADLY TOXINS, like euthanised pets and waste oils!
>Only eat wild fishes from Alaska or Iceland.
I only eat people from Iceland who have been boiled in geysers.
rone
--
"Alan Alda's all we are."
- Kurt Cobain
circadian rhyme
BEWARE DEADLY XYLITOSIS -- BAD BREATH THAT KILLS PEOPLE DEAD!
Whosetitanelbow
berichtnieuws...news:rone.b8kv2v$2hpg$1...@ennui.org:
It makes their sweaters feltalicious.
John D Salt
news:Xns936BE455FC7F...@129.250.170.100:
[Snips]
> It makes their sweaters feltalicious.
Did everyone else wackyparse that the same way as I did?
Or only the blokes?
All the best,
John.