Male J/O Terms -Slang- (Revised)

[mambu]

Due to on oversight, the list of J/O terms I posted recently was incomplete.
Here's the whole shootin' match! (758 total). Thanks to all who have
contributed. Have we missed any?

Male Masturbation Terms (Slang)

a big date with Rosy Palms
abusing yourself
activating cruise control
adjusting your set
an outing with Tom Thumb and his four brothers
applying for a fishing license
attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
auditioning the finger puppets
auditioning your hand puppet
backstroke roulette
bash the candle
bashing the bishop
bashing the candle
beat off
beat the bishop
beat the dummy
beat the stick
beat your meat
beating off
beating the balogna
beating the Bishop
beating the dummy
beating the old man
beating the pud
beating the stick
beating your meat
beef-stroke-it-off
being a virtuoso of the skin flute
being your own best friend
biffing off
big top
blasting a pocket rocket
bleed the weed
blow your load
blowing the load
blowing your own horn
bludgeon the beefsteak
bludgeoning the beefsteak
boffing your boner
bone it off
bop the baloney
bop the bishop
bopping the bishop
bopping the bolgney
bopping the Bonzo
bouncing your boner
box the jesuit
boxing the bald champ
boxing the jesuit and getting cockroaches
boxing with Richard
buff the banana
buffin' the bishop
buffing the banana
buffing your helmet
buggering your hand
burp the worm
burping the baby
burping the worm
butter the corn
buttering the corn
buttering your muffin
caning the vandal
capturing the bishop
charming the snake
checking for testicular cancer
cheesing off
choke the chicken
choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
choking Kojak
choking the bald guy until he pukes
choking the chicken
choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come
churning man cream
clamping the pipe
clean your rifle
cleaning the storm-drains
cleaning your rifle
clearing the snorkel
climbin the tree
climbing Mount Baldy
closet Frisbee
come from Bangkok
coming into your own
cooking the cream of cock
corralling the tadpoles
couch hockey for one
crank the shank
crank the tractor
cranking the love pump
cranking the shank
creaming your cock
crimping the wire
crown the king
crowning the king
cuddlin' the Kielbasa
cuff the carrot
cuffing the carrot
cum in the air
cumming by hand
dating Miss Michigan
dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters
defrosting the fridge
diddle
diddling
digging into the trenches
digitally oscillating one's penis
docking in Shuttle Bay 5
doin' the solitary rhumba
doing a hand job
doing a little soft-shoe
doing battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
doing handiwork
doing it your way
doing the bachelor dance
doing the five-knuckle shuffle
doing the janitor thing
doing the pork sword jiggle
doing the white knuckler
doing your own thing
downing at the club (for members only)
drain the lizard
drain the monster
draining the monster
drilling for oil in your own backyard
dry humping the ottoman
electing the president
engaging in internal revenue service
engaging in safe sex
faxing the Pope
feeding the ducks
firing the Surgeon General
firing your peter
fist fuck
fist fucking
fist your monster
fisting your mister
five against one
five fingered exercise
five fingered shuffle
five knuckle shuffle
five on one
five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pump
flick on over the thumb
flicking the bic
flipping off
flog the dog
flog the hog
flog your dong
floggin' yer log
flogging the bishop
flogging the dog
flogging the dolphin
flogging the dong
flogging the frog
flogging the hog
flogging the log
flogging the mule
flogging the salami
flute solo
fly fishing
fondle the fig
fondling the fig
four fingered shuffle
freeing willy
freeing willy 2
friggin' your riggin'
frigging
friggit
frosting the pastries
fucking your fist
gallop the antelope
galloping the antelope
galloping the old lizard
genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion
getting a date with Slick Mittens
getting a hand job
getting chafed
getting off
getting the German soldier marching
getting to know yourself
getting your gun
getting your palm red
getting your pole varnished
getting your rocks off
gilding the lily
give it a tug
giving it a tug
giving yourself a low five
gluing the lady's eye's shut
go it alone
go to Bangkok
going a couple of rounds with ol' josh
going blind
going on a date with Handrea and Palmela
going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters
going on Peewee's little adventure
going the blow
grappling the gorilla
grease the pipe
greasing the flagpole
greasing the pipe
hack the hog
hacking the hog
hail!
hand solo
hand job
hand Shandy
hand to gland combat
hand to glans combat
hand work
handy work
hanging five
hard labor
have it off
having a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake
having a date with Fisty Palmer
having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters
having a date with Rosy and her 4 sisters
having a J. Arthur
having a one-night-stand with yourself
having a tug-of-war with the cyclops
having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel
having it off
having sex with someone you love
having the urge for a surge
hitchhiking to heaven
hitchhiking underneath the big top
holding the sausage hostage
honing the cone
housebreaking the cat
hugging the hog
hump your hose
humping the hose
installing a burglar alarm
invading Poland
irking the dude
ironing some wrinkles
J. Arthur (Rank)
jack hammering
jack off
jackhammer
jacking off
jacking your joy stick
jazz yourself
jazzing your joy stick
jazzing your juicer
jazzing yourself
jerk off
jerk the gherkin
jerkin' the gherkin
jerkin' your gerkin
jerking Jamby
jerking off
jerking rod
jerking yanking daisy-chaining
jizzlobbing
jostling the elder
juggling the coullions
juicing a woody
juicing the plum
juicing your joy stick
just jerkin' it
keeping the census down
kicking seamen
kicking your roommate out to "call your parents"
knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump
launching a pocket rocket
launching the hand shuttle
launching the head of a world-cup golfer
letting loose the juice
letting the snake out of the grass
lighting your pipe
looking askance
looking for ticks
lope the mule
loping the mule
loping your mule
loves labors lost
loving the muppet
lubing the tube
maintaining a holding pattern
make the bald man puke
making a banana split
making a foreskin cone
making instant pudding
making meat whistle music
making out with yourself
making prick juice
making the bald man puke
making the hooded cobra spit
making the rooster crow
malthusianism
mangling the midget
manipulate the mango
manipulating the mango
manning the cockpit
manual labor
manual override
manustupration
Mary, Full of Grace, schluuuuuuuuuuuurp! and all that
master bacon
masturbate
meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters
meeting Rosie Hancock
meeting with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
milk the lizard
milk your dick
milking one's self
milking the bull
milking the cow
milking the lizard
milking the mouse
mother thumb and her four daughters
mount a corporal and four
mounting a corporal and four
moving into a one-bedroom apartment
much goo about nothing
my sex life
nerk your throbber
nerking your throbber
oil the glove
oiling the glove
onan's olympics
Onanism
one gun salute
one off the wrist
one-man show
organ solo (or duet?)
pack your palm
packing your palm
paddle the pickle
paddling the pickle
paint the ceiling
paint the pickle
painting the ceiling
painting the pickle
painting the walls
palming the calm
panning for white gold
pearling the oyster
peelin' some chiles
peeling the banana
peeling the carrot
peeling the wand
performing diagnostics on your ManTool
petting the lizard
phoning the czar
pipping the pumpkin
play solitare
play with oneself
playing a bass solo
playing a little five-on-one
playing a one-stringed guitar
playing a tune on the pork flute
playing in a one-man show
playing Peek-A-Boo With Mr. Johnson
playing peekaboo
playing pocket pinball
playing pocket pool
playing tag with the pink torpedo
playing the one-stringed melody
playing the skin flute
playing tug-o-war with the cyclops
playing Uno
playing with the spitting llama
playing with your penis
playing with your turtle (for uncircumcised guys?)
playing with yourself
playing your flute
please your pisser
pleasing the Pope
pleasing your pisser
plunk your twanger
plunking your twanger
pocket pinball
pocket pool
polish the rocket
polish the sword
polishing Percy in your palm
polishing the family jewels
polishing the helmet
polishing the knob
polishing the pearl
polishing the rocket
polishing the silver
polishing the sword
polishing your knob
polishing your rifle
pop your peter
popping a wad by hand
popping the cork
popping your cork
popping your nuts
pound off
pound your flounder
pound your pud
pounding off
pounding the bald-headed moose
pounding the pipes
pounding the priest
pounding the pud
pounding your flounder
preparing the carrot
priming the pump
pud wrestling
pull off
pull the pole
pull the pope
pull the pudding
pull your prick
pull your taffy
pulling off
pulling rank
pulling the bologna pony
pulling the carrot
pulling the Colonel Sanders Heimleich Manuever
pulling the cord
pulling the five-knuckle shuffle
pulling the goalie
pulling the pole
pulling the Pope
pulling your goalie
pulling your own leg
pulling your prick
pulling your pud
pulling your putz
pulling your taffy
pummeling the priest
pump it
pump the python
pumping a gusher
pumping cream
pumping the juice handle
pumping the magic Jergens' lotion handle
pumping the muscle
pumping the piston
pumping the python
pumping the stump
pumping up ball juice
punchin' the munchkin
punching the bag
punching the clown
punching the munchkin
punishing Percy in the palm
punishing the Pope
punishing your clown
putting a fresh coat of paint on the ceiling
ram the ham
ramming the ham
rapid one arm pull-ups
relieving tension
renting a boat for one at Central Park
returning to sender
ride the dolphin
ride the great white knuckler
riding the bull
riding the great white knuckler
ringing your dong
roasting chestnuts
rolling your own
romeo and himself
rope the pony
roping the pony
roping the Pope
Rosie Palm and her five sisters
roughing up the subject
roughing up the suspect
rowing the little man in the boat
rub off
rubbin' the nubbin
rubbin' the rigid rod
rubbing off
rubbing one out
rubbing robbie
rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel
rubbing the pink eraser
rubbing the wad
running off a batch by hand
running the 100-yard dash
sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights
safest sex
salute the captain
sanding wood
sap your woody
scouring the tower of power
scratchin the itch
secret handshake
secret vice
self-abuse
self-induced penile regurgitation
self-inflicted intercourse
self-pleasuring
self-stimulation
setting off a depth charge
sex with someone you really love
shag
shagging
shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln
shaking hands with Jack McNasty
shaking hands with Mr. Happy
shaking Hands with Mr. President
shaking hands with the midget
shaking hands with the unemployed
shaking hands with the wife's best friend
shaking hands with your John Thomas
shaking hands with your wife's best friend
shaking hands with Yul Brenner
shaking the bottle
shaking the hand of the self-employed
shaking the sauce
shaking the sausage
shaking the snake
shellacking the shellaleigh
shelling the bean pod
shemping the hog
shifting gears
shifting into first gear
shine your pole
shining the helmet
shining the pork sword
shining your pole
shoot skeet (pull...shoot)
shootin' putty at the moon
shooting flies
shooting for the moon
shooting off
shooting putty at the moon
shuck the corn
shucking your corn
sink the sub
skinning the lizzard
skinning the onion
skinning the weenie
slakin' the bacon
slaking the bacon
slam the hammer
slam the spam
slammin' the salmon
slamming the ham
slamming the hammer
slamming the salami
slamming the salmon
slamming the spam
slappin the purple headed yogurt pistol
slappin' pappy
slapping high fives with Yul Brenner
slapping it
slapping pappy
slapping the carrot
slapping the clown
slapping the donkey
slapping the flesh gopher
slapping the monkey
slapping the pud
slapping the salami
slapping the salami
slapping your boner
slicking the slippery stick
slicking the willow twig
slicking your stick
sling the jelly
slinging the jelly
slipping yourself a mickey
slopping the hogs
smacking off
smacking the salami
snap the monkey
snap the rubber
snap the whip
snapping one off
snapping the monkey
snapping the rubber
snapping the whip
soldier's joy
solo flight
solo marathon
soloing
sowing your seed
spank the frank
spank the monkey
spank the salami
spanking Elvis
spanking Frank
spanking the bishop
spanking the monkey
spanking the salami
spanking the stick
spanking the wank
sperming the worm
spiggin' the twig
spike your cock
spit-polishing the purple helmet
squeeze the lemon
squeeze the weasel
squeezing the cheese
squeezing the cream from the flesh twinkie
squeezing the juice
squeezing the lemon
squeezing the weasel
squeezing your cheese-dog
stacking the deck
stiffening your noodle
stinky pinky
stirring the batter
stirring the yogurt
strainin' the main vein
straining the spaghetti
strangling the goose
strangling the serpent
stroke off
stroke the dog
stroke your poker
stroking
stroking it
stroking off
stroking the dog
stroking the lizard
stroking the mole
stroking the muskrat
stroking the one-eyed burping gecko
stroking the satin-headed serpent
stroking the wiener
stroking your cock
stroking your meat
stroking your poker
stroking your twinkie
take yourself in hand
taking a shake break
taking matters into your own hands
taking part in population control
taking the Jocelyn Elders midterm
taking the monster for a one-armed ride
talking quietly to yourself
taming the shrew
taunting the one-eyed weasel
tease the weenie
teasing the weasel
teasing the weenie
tenderize the meat
tenderizing the meat
tenderizing the tube steak
testing the testicles
testing your batteries
that crazy hand jive
the art of unisex
the Colonel Sanders Heimleich maneuver
the five knuckle shuffle on the old piss pipe
the five-knuckle shuffle
the serta solo
thrapping
thump the pump
thumping the pump
tickle your dick
tickle your pickle
ticklewigglejigglepickle
tickling my fancy
tickling the ivory
tickling the one-eyed weasel
tickling the pickle
tootling your flute
toss off
tossing off
tossing the salad
tossing the snag
tossing the turkey
tossing yogurt
trimming your wick
trolling for flames
trouser snake CPR
tugging the slug
tugging the tapioca tube
turning Japanese
turning on, tuning in and dropping out
twanging the wire
tweak your twinkle
tweaking your twinkie
twisting your crank
unclogging your sink
unloadinging the gun
varnish the flagpole
varnishing the flagpole
visiting rosie palm and her five daughters
visiting Rosy Palm and her five daughters
visiting the notary public
wacking off
wacking the one-eyed worm
wacking the weasel
wacking the willie
wage the war of the priests
waking the dead
waking Wee Willie Wonka
walk the dog
walking the dog
walking the plank
walking the snake
wank
wank off
wanking
wanking off
wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel
washing the meat
wax the carrot
wax the dolphin
waxing the car
waxing the carrot
waxing the dolphin
waxing the duck
waxing your surfboard
wet dream on demand
whack off
whackin the weasel
whacking it
whacking off
whacking Willy
whip off
whip the dummy
whip the wire
whip your dripper
whipping off
whipping the dummy
whipping the one-eyed trouser snake
whipping the rat
whipping the stiff
whipping the wire
whipping up a batch
whipping up some sour cream
whipping willy the one-eyed wonder-worm
whipping your dripper
whipping your mule
whipping your turkey
white-water wristing
whittling the stick
whizzin' jizzum
whizzing jism
windsurfing on Mount Baldy
wonk your conker
wonking your conker
work off
work off a load
workin' out a stiff joint
working off
wrestle the eel
wrestling the eel
wrestling the purple headed warrior
wrestling with the bald champ
wring out your rope
wringing out your rope
wrist aerobics
yang your wang
yank off
yank the crank
yank the plank
yank the yam
yank your strap
yanking off
yanking the crank
yanking the yoyo
yanking your plank

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mik...@aloha.net