Callahan's Place -- The Movie, Part Deux!
Keith Merritt
(which I didn't realize,) and could not be read on some (many)
browsers. So, here we go again...
"Okay, Folks," said Keith Merritt in a voice loud enough to catch the
attention of the Patrons of Callahan's Place (louder than a boom box,
softer than a jet plane.) "I was thinking (gasps of disbelief) about
the possibilities of a Callahan's Place *movie.* Spider said rights
were being negotiated, and I haven't heard anything about such a movie
actually being *produced,* but I thought it would be fun to act as
Casting Directors for such an effort."
"In order to keep the ‘no steenkin' bodges' complaints down, I offer
only two suggestions: first, only cast characters *from the books.*
(While I agree that many of the Patrons of *this* Place deserve to be
immortalized on the silver screen, it might cause some disagreements I
would rather avoid.) Secondly, the actor proposed for the role must be
alive (sigh ... I had Madeline Kahn penciled in as Josie Bauer...). To,
ahem, get the ball rolling, here are some of my casting choices."
Mike Callahan -- Brian Dennehy (as suggested by Joe Quigley in "Lady
Slings the Booze.")
Lady Sally McGee -- if *I* could travel through time, I'd bring the
Angela Lansbury of the early "Murder, She Wrote" series. Ms. Lansbury
could probably pull off the role anyway, but I could accept either
Susan Sarandon or Sigourney Weaver in this role.
Fast Eddie Costigan -- Kevin Spacey, because he can play *anything,*
and because we can't resurrect Hoagy Carmicheal for the role.
Mickey Finn -- Richard Kiley, the Lurch of the original "Addams Family"
TV show, and the character "Jaws" in at least one James Bond film. I
know Mr. Kiley is around, because he had a cameo as "Jaws" in the
recent "Inspector Gadget" movie.
Mary Callahan-Finn -- Rosie O'Donnell. She's big, she's funny, she's
sexy, she's talented. Any questions?
Jake Stonebender -- This may be the key role in the whole film. Given
the nature of Spider's stories, I figure there will need to be a lot of
voice-over narration to explain what the heck is going on. There's a
musician (not an actor) named David Bromberg that I think of whenever
Jake is playing music. Bromberg is a guitar, banjo, dobro, and mandolin
Wizard, and the only reason he's not famous is we don't deserve him
yet. When Jake sings, I hear Bromberg's voice. However, taking a
non-actor in such a key role is awfully risky -- any suggestions?
Doc Webster -- another role where Death has changed my personal
casting. The late John Candy would have been *perfect* as the Doc --
humor plus compassion -- but, since that choice isn't available to us,
I suggest Drew Carey.
Long-Drink McGonnigle -- HELP! I can't think of a tall, skinny comic
actor around right now for the life of me! John Cleese? I'm groping
here...
Isham Latimer -- Will Smith. I know, Will's not built along the lines
of Mike Tyson (as Spider once described him), but Will would help keep
the Place merry.
Tanya Latimer -- Queen Latifah. Has the toughness to play an ex-cop,
and (I think) would work well paired with Smith.
Noah Gonzalez -- Tommy Lee Jones. If I have to have a bomb defused in
a movie, I want *this* guy to do it.
Al Phee -- Robin Williams. I have no idea whether Williams resembles
the late Alfred Bester at all, but since Bester was described as "The
Original One-Man Chinese Fire Drill", who *better* to play the role?
Josie Bauer -- Rita Rudner. Sexy, funny!
Ralph Von WauWau -- obviously, a voice-only role. Is the actor who
played Sgt. Schultz on "Hogan's Heroes" still alive? If not, let Arnold
Schwarzenegger essay the role.
Joe Quigley -- anybody know of an actor who looks like Dan Rather?
There are several regulars (in the books) I've left out. Since we're
working with an unlimited budget, Jim Carrey needs to be in the movie
in *some* role -- I just haven't figured out which one yet. The
finished film would provide plenty of opportunities for cameos. (Tim
Allen as Shorty Steinitz, The Worst Driver Alive?) I thought I'd offer
this up to the Patrons, and see what fun we can have with it.
Peace be with you,
Keith Merritt
The GoodKnight Goaltender
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The Polymath (Jerry Hollombe)
<1c31fd54...@usw-ex0102-010.remarq.com>...
| "In order to keep the ‘no steenkin' bodges' complaints down
^^^^^^^
Still got some garbage in the above line. Try setting your software is
set for seven bit ASCII.
|Long-Drink McGonnigle -- HELP! I can't think of a tall, skinny comic
|actor around right now for the life of me! John Cleese? I'm groping
|here...
John Lithgow -- more versatile than Cleese and no accent problem.
The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, M.A., CCP, CFI)
http://www.babcom.com/polymath/
http://www.babcom.com/gla-mensa/
Query pgpkeys.mit.edu for PGP public key.
Pat Kight
>
> Lady Sally McGee -- if *I* could travel through time, I'd bring the
> Angela Lansbury of the early "Murder, She Wrote" series. Ms. Lansbury
> could probably pull off the role anyway, but I could accept either
> Susan Sarandon or Sigourney Weaver in this role.
Jezebel seconds the Susan Sarandon nomination. "Sigourney is a babe, but
she strikes me as too ... cool ... for Lady Sally. Although ... hmm ...
anyone seen Julie Christie lately? At one time, she would have been
perfect."
> Mary Callahan-Finn -- Rosie O'Donnell. She's big, she's funny, she's
> sexy, she's talented. Any questions?
"If Rosie's busy, call Kathy Bates. She usually gets kind of haggard
roles, but she's got a luscious side, too, and she can act Rosie off the
screen."
>Doc Webster -- another role where Death has changed my personal
> casting. The late John Candy would have been *perfect* as the Doc --
> humor plus compassion -- but, since that choice isn't available to us,
> I suggest Drew Carey.
"I'll suggest an unknown (to anyone not an afficionado of Marilyn Manson
videos and German french-fry commercials, which are the only paying gigs
he's had to date): My friend Charles `Sandy' McCormack, who is down in
LA laboring to become a professional actor at the ripe old age of
40-something. Sandy's friends lovingly call him The World's Biggest
Funnyman ... Trust me on this one, we could make a star!
> Long-Drink McGonnigle -- HELP! I can't think of a tall, skinny comic
> actor around right now for the life of me! John Cleese? I'm groping
> here...
"How about Jeff Goldblum?"
> Josie Bauer -- Rita Rudner. Sexy, funny!
Jez hears a whisper from the rafters. "Unbe respectfully requests Sandra
Bullock. Of course, he's been requesting her for quite a while now, and
he still hasn't *got* her."
> Joe Quigley -- anybody know of an actor who looks like Dan Rather?
"Not exactly, but Dan Hedaya would be *great*. For a little-known actor,
he's got incredible credentials; you may have seen him as ex-president
Nixon in this year's `Dick.' I like him a lot."
> There are several regulars (in the books) I've left out. Since we're
> working with an unlimited budget, Jim Carrey needs to be in the movie
> in *some* role -- I just haven't figured out which one yet.
"Bleah. Only if he's in the settled-down mode he used for `The Truman
Show.' When he's being manic, he's too much of a scene-stealer, and I
see any movie about Callahan's Place as an *ensemble* piece - no room
for primadona types, you know?"
"How about Christopher Walken as Pyotr? He's always struck me as a sort
of living-dead type ..."
--Jezebel
kig...@peak.org
Jacque
Keith Merritt <kmerritt...@kiowa.astate.edu.invalid> wrote:
>
>Jake Stonebender
You'd never get him, and you'd have to teach him the accent, but
George Harrison.
--jm
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacque Marshall jac...@UNSPAM.netcom.com http://www.eskimo.com/~jacquem
Rod Rempel
Keith Merritt <kmerritt...@kiowa.astate.edu.invalid>
wrote in message
news:1c31fd54...@usw-ex0102-010.remarq.com...
> Celine kindly let me know that my original post
wasn't in ASCII
> (which I didn't realize,) and could not be read on some
(many)
> browsers. So, here we go again...
> Mike Callahan -- Brian Dennehy (as suggested by Joe
Quigley in "Lady
> Slings the Booze.")
>
John Goodman. If you want a box-office name he would be
tough to beat.
As for Jake ... Jim Byrnes . Jazz singer and actor
http://www.bdt.com/home/moo/byrnes.html
Rod Rempel
rre...@infoserve.net
Freyja
Pat Kight <kig...@ucs.orst.edu> wrote in message
news:384D5829...@ucs.orst.edu...
| "How about Christopher Walken as Pyotr? He's always struck me as a
sort
| of living-dead type ..."
Yes! Perfect!
--
Freyja the NurseWench
(de-spam e-mail)
http://pagina.de/eclecticeel
ICQ:9582706 AIM:FreyjaNurseWench
John Edwards
<kmerritt...@kiowa.astate.edu.invalid> once said:
->
->Doc Webster -- another role where Death has changed my personal
->casting. The late John Candy would have been *perfect* as the Doc --
->humor plus compassion -- but, since that choice isn't available to us,
->I suggest Drew Carey.
Drew Carey isn't large enough, IMO. I always pictured a
friend of mine in this roll. He's funny enough (and quick enough
with the puns that he'd fit right in here) and has the body
almost as large as Candy's.
Unfortunately, he's a lawyer, not an actor (although he does
role play fairly well...)
John
Remove NOT from reply address to send email.
If Life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
and objects in the rear-view window may appear closer
han they are. Meatloaf
Leonard Erickson
> Keith Merritt wrote in message
> <1c31fd54...@usw-ex0102-010.remarq.com>...
>
> | "In order to keep the ‘no steenkin' bodges' complaints down
> ^^^^^^^
> Still got some garbage in the above line. Try setting your software is
> set for seven bit ASCII.
I think he's composing using a word processor or something. Because in
the cases where I *can* track determine what belongs there, it's been a
*single* charactyer (apostrophe, grave accent, that sort of thing). And
only word processors tend to use that sort of mess to "escape" a
"special character".
--
Leonard Erickson (aka Nemo) kal...@krypton.rain.com
"I'll send flowers to your grave."
"You're not going to piss on it?"
"No, I _hate_ standing in line."
Don Callahan
John Edwards wrote:
> Drew Carey isn't large enough, IMO. I always pictured a
> friend of mine in this roll. He's funny enough (and quick enough
> with the puns that he'd fit right in here) and has the body
> almost as large as Candy's.
> Unfortunately, he's a lawyer, not an actor (although he does
> role play fairly well...)
>
I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Dom DeLouise (sp?) Very
hefty, can be extremely funny (given the right part), and almost as manic as
Jonathan Winters. Plus, he has that subtle eye twinkle.
karen
michaeljones
John Edwards <hark...@sprintmail.com.NOT> wrote in message
news:O5NQOFHOWjP+rh...@4ax.com...
> The Ever-so-wise Keith Merritt
> <kmerritt...@kiowa.astate.edu.invalid> once said:
>
> ->
> ->Doc Webster -- another role where Death has changed my personal
> ->casting. The late John Candy would have been *perfect* as the Doc --
> ->humor plus compassion -- but, since that choice isn't available to us,
> ->I suggest Drew Carey.
>
> friend of mine in this roll. He's funny enough (and quick enough
> with the puns that he'd fit right in here) and has the body
> almost as large as Candy's.
> Unfortunately, he's a lawyer, not an actor (although he does
> role play fairly well...)
>
>
John Edwards
->
->I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Dom DeLouise (sp?) Very
->hefty, can be extremely funny (given the right part), and almost as manic as
->Jonathan Winters. Plus, he has that subtle eye twinkle.
->
->karen
Yes.!
WareWolf
John Edwards wrote in message ...
RE; Doc Webster:
> I always pictured a
>friend of mine in this roll. He's funny enough (and quick enough
>with the puns that he'd fit right in here) and has the body
>almost as large as Candy's.
> Unfortunately, he's a lawyer, not an actor
there's a difference?
Dusty
John Edwards
->
->RE; Doc Webster:
->
->> I always pictured a
->>friend of mine in this roll. He's funny enough (and quick enough
->>with the puns that he'd fit right in here) and has the body
->>almost as large as Candy's.
->> Unfortunately, he's a lawyer, not an actor
->
->there's a difference?
->
-> Dusty
Well, I couldn't really say.
Although, he *is* a role-player...