Add To Cart Until It Explodes.
James Kibo Parry
this Web site's imaginary shopping carts hold before they explode?"
So, I like to try to buy 999,999,999,999 of whatever's on sale. And then,
if that doesn't make it display negative numbers or bizarre error messages,
I try to buy 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999.
Well, today I found a site that truly has the capacity I need. I found
one that allowed me to order up to 10^300-1 items (that's
999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,
999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,
999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,
999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,
999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,
999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 in primitive Earth numbers.)
Of course, rounding errors kicked in, and it charged me for an extra
one (Waah! I wanted 10^300-1, not 10^300!) but still, it's nice to know
that if I ever need to order that many copies of the same book,
I can do that, and then I'll never be able to lose them all, assuming
they don't just form into a black hole that swallows the entire Universe.
This store even sells anvils, and 10^300 anvils would be the greatest
"Road Runner" cartoon ever, if Chuck Jones were younger so he could
draw that many.
I think if I researched this further I'd turn into Harry Stephen Keeler
and go around depositing single dollars into banks under the name
"John Jones" so that when I'm thawed out 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999
years in the future I'd have enough money to buy all the anvils in the
world, leading to a perfect Socialist state where everyone had plenty
of anvils to eat.
Can anyone top the 10^300 figure by finding a Web site that can sell
10^400 items, or better yet, a googolplex? I might want a googolplex
of Pez someday.
And would there be a price break if I ordered more?
-- K.
The site that almost goes up to 10^300
abbreviates "discount" as two words.
("ds cnt")
And now, a purple Muppet vampire will
count to 10^300, and although that may
be boring, don't dis Count.
John D Salt
news:kibo-09010...@ppp0b156.std.com:
> Whenever I'm shopping on the Internet, I always wonder, "How
> much can this Web site's imaginary shopping carts hold
> before they explode?"
[Snips]
> still, it's nice to know that if I ever need to order that
> many copies of the same book, I can do that, and then I'll
> never be able to lose them all, assuming they don't just
> form into a black hole that swallows the entire Universe.
The good news is that, as the entire Universe (or Susan, as I
like to call her) has now been condensed to a singularity and her
physical dimensions are now negligible, they do not charge you
for shipping.
I will donate £5 to Oxfam for the first web site I hear of that
warns about the number of items that can be ordered with a
message reading "This mass of goods exceeds the mass of the
planet, so long shipping delays are unavoidable and a Dyson
Sphere Construction Surcharge may be payable".
If you do this right, it may be possible to finance all space
exploration for the current millennium from ordering mistakes on
Amazon.
All the best,
John.
madge
Well you missed you chance over hmas period you could have got free
shipping but then again if you ordered the mass of the planet to be
delivered by US mail it probably would have got lost in the post only to
turn up in 100 years time having been misdirected via an Austrian town
with the same name.
Headline 1/9/2103 .... Bill Plod postmaster for Dunaroo post office said
"People have been complaining about the smell for quite a few years so
we looked behind the pigeon hole and there it was".
--
I've been very careful not to do anything unkosher, daring, or cool.
--James ``Kibo'' Parry
J Smith
that this would requires two carts, and two-cart technology just ain't there
yet (why does ain't have an apostrophe?).
"James "Kibo" Parry" <ki...@world.std.com> wrote in message
news:kibo-09010...@ppp0b156.std.com...
madge
>
> (why does ain't have an apostrophe?).
Because it is isn't it.
David Bromage
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in
> news:kibo-09010...@ppp0b156.std.com:
>> Whenever I'm shopping on the Internet, I always wonder, "How
>> much can this Web site's imaginary shopping carts hold
>> before they explode?"
> [Snips]
>> still, it's nice to know that if I ever need to order that
>> many copies of the same book, I can do that, and then I'll
>> never be able to lose them all, assuming they don't just
>> form into a black hole that swallows the entire Universe.
> The good news is that, as the entire Universe (or Susan, as I
> like to call her) has now been condensed to a singularity and her
> physical dimensions are now negligible, they do not charge you
> for shipping.
Sorry, they charge by weight. And you'd need to resurrect Archimedes to
build a forklift capable of loading it onto the delivery truck.
Cheers
David
Beable van Polasm
>
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in
> news:kibo-09010...@ppp0b156.std.com:
>
> > Whenever I'm shopping on the Internet, I always wonder, "How
> > much can this Web site's imaginary shopping carts hold
> > before they explode?"
> [Snips]
> > still, it's nice to know that if I ever need to order that
> > many copies of the same book, I can do that, and then I'll
> > never be able to lose them all, assuming they don't just
> > form into a black hole that swallows the entire Universe.
>
> The good news is that, as the entire Universe (or Susan, as I
> like to call her) has now been condensed to a singularity and her
> physical dimensions are now negligible, they do not charge you
> for shipping.
>
> I will donate £5 to Oxfam for the first web site I hear of that
> warns about the number of items that can be ordered with a
> message reading "This mass of goods exceeds the mass of the
> planet, so long shipping delays are unavoidable and a Dyson
> Sphere Construction Surcharge may be payable".
I found one!
http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
THE THING NICE ABOUT THE INTERNET IS THAT IT ALLOWS DUMB PEOPLE TO
RAISE THEIR OPINION ALONGSIDE WISE PEOPLE. -- ARCHIMEDES PLUTONIUM
http://beable.com
David Bromage
> I found one!
> http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
But it doesn't work properly!
DOIDY Order Form
How many bags of DOIDY do you wish to order?
Pi*10^300-1_______________________________________ Order NOW!!!1!
NOTE: Each bag of DOIDY weighs 1kg
___________________________________________________________________
YOU ARE BEING STUPID AND ENTERING THINGS THAT AREN'T NUMBERS TRYING TO
TRICK THIS WEBSITE! GO AWAY YOU NAUGHTY PERSON!
Cheers
David
Glenn Knickerbocker
<bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> wrote:
>http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
Waah! I tried to order 5,999,999,999,999,999,362,465,792.5kg of doidy
and Beable called me STUPID and NAUGHTY, and then tried to sell me some
poor guy's FIRST SANTA instead!
"It's not the size of the boat, it's Matt McIrvin" -- Joe
ŹR / http://users.bestweb.net/~notr/ny2001.html / Manfre
Beable van Polasm
Yep, seems to be working JUST FINE. You naughty person.
Glenn Knickerbocker
<dbro...@mule.omni.com.au> wrote:
>Sorry, they charge by weight. And you'd need to resurrect Archimedes to
Wait, I thought it was George that was supposed to be dead.
¬R Plus meditandum, minus misculandum.
(Marty Shapiro, deftly translated by Sean Fitzpatrick)
Beable van Polasm
>
> On 10 Jan 2003 10:45:30 +1000, Beable van Polasm
> <bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> wrote:
> >http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
>
> Waah! I tried to order 5,999,999,999,999,999,362,465,792.5kg of doidy
> and Beable called me STUPID and NAUGHTY, and then tried to sell me some
> poor guy's FIRST SANTA instead!
Sorry mister, I fixed it so that your order should go through now.
Mark Hill
> Yep, seems to be working JUST FINE. You naughty person.
It didn't even let me order i bags of doidy! Silly person.
David Bromage
I tried that too.
Plus it wouldn't let me order Avogadro's Number of bags.
Cheers
David
Mark Hill
Now that's what I call service! My order for i boxes works great now.
Beable van Polasm
Joseph Michael Bay
They don't deal in very small, or imaginary, quantities of doidy.
ALTHOUGH DOIDY IS AN ADJECTIVE, NOT A NOUN, WHICH COULD
EXIST IN QUANTITIES. DUR-HEY. AND ALSO, IF IT'S A SUBSTANTIVE
ADJECTIVE, WHAT IS THE ASSUMED NOUN?
ALSO, HEY, NO TYPOS AND I AM BARELY ABLE TO STAND FOR ALL THE
HOMEMADE CIDER I JUST DRANK! I AM MAKING LOTS OF TYPOS BUT AM
DELETING THEM ALL AND RETYPING THEM PROPERLY, LIKE SOME KIND OF
LABRADOR PROOFREADER, BITCH!
--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
www.stanford.edu/~jmbay/ DO NOT PRESS
When encryption is outlawed, om;u h$g9!ap k#-j tv*d$]p.
Joseph Michael Bay
>I tried that too.
If you type it in in standard notation, it warns you
that Urth doesn't have that many killogrammeus, so there.
Bryce Utting
>> warns about the number of items that can be ordered with a
>> message reading "This mass of goods exceeds the mass of the
>> planet, so long shipping delays are unavoidable and a Dyson
>> Sphere Construction Surcharge may be payable".
>
> I found one!
> http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
failing to accept scientific notation!
PERL-ONKKK * 74234562365346126373e7356823465357345424645798456235!!!!!
butting
John D Salt
news:m2y95t4...@dingo.beable.com:
> John D Salt <john...@NOSPAM.btclick.com> writes:
[Snips]
>> I will donate £5 to Oxfam for the first web site I hear of
>> that warns about the number of items that can be ordered
>> with a message reading "This mass of goods exceeds the mass
>> of the planet, so long shipping delays are unavoidable and
>> a Dyson Sphere Construction Surcharge may be payable".
>
> I found one!
> http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
Curse you, Beable Industries, you win this time.
All the best,
John.
Eb Oesch
> Glenn Knickerbocker <No...@bestweb.net> writes:
> >
> > On 10 Jan 2003 10:45:30 +1000, Beable van Polasm
> > <bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> wrote:
> > >http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
> >
> > Waah! I tried to order 5,999,999,999,999,999,362,465,792.5kg of doidy
> > and Beable called me STUPID and NAUGHTY, and then tried to sell me some
> > poor guy's FIRST SANTA instead!
>
> Sorry mister, I fixed it so that your order should go through now.
Your error messages aren't very friendly:
Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was
unable to complete your request.
Please contact the server administrator, sup...@netfirms.com and
inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might
have done that may have caused the error.
My decision probably shows I lack faith in humanity, but I did not
contact sup...@netfirms.com because I doubt they support trying to
overflow input buffers. <O> R L33TR than the rest of my second-grade
class.
Joe Manfre
>I found one!
>http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
What, no condition under which the warning message returned is "values
of [number] will give rise to dom!"?
JM
Beable van Polasm
> Beable van Polasm <bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> wrote:
> >> I will donate Ł5 to Oxfam for the first web site I hear of that
> >> warns about the number of items that can be ordered with a
> >> message reading "This mass of goods exceeds the mass of the
> >> planet, so long shipping delays are unavoidable and a Dyson
> >> Sphere Construction Surcharge may be payable".
> >
> > I found one!
> > http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
>
> failing to accept scientific notation!
Oh come on! It accepts stuff like "6.02e23"!!
> PERL-ONKKK * 74234562365346126373e7356823465357345424645798456235!!!!!
That's just silly.
Beable van Polasm
> Beable van Polasm <bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> wrote in
> news:m2y95t4...@dingo.beable.com:
>
> > John D Salt <john...@NOSPAM.btclick.com> writes:
> [Snips]
> >> I will donate £5 to Oxfam for the first web site I hear of
> >> that warns about the number of items that can be ordered
> >> with a message reading "This mass of goods exceeds the mass
> >> of the planet, so long shipping delays are unavoidable and
> >> a Dyson Sphere Construction Surcharge may be payable".
> >
> > I found one!
> > http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
>
> Curse you, Beable Industries, you win this time.
No John, EVERYBODY WINS! YAYYY! Aren't you glad that you didn't
promise five HUNDRED squids?
Jeremy Impson
> Mark Hill <mh...@epicentre.net> writes:
>
> >Beable van Polasm <bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> writes:
> >> Yep, seems to be working JUST FINE. You naughty person.
>
> >It didn't even let me order i bags of doidy! Silly person.
>
> They don't deal in very small, or imaginary, quantities of doidy.
>
> ALTHOUGH DOIDY IS AN ADJECTIVE, NOT A NOUN, WHICH COULD
> EXIST IN QUANTITIES. DUR-HEY. AND ALSO, IF IT'S A SUBSTANTIVE
> ADJECTIVE, WHAT IS THE ASSUMED NOUN?
You just PROVED that you CAN have imaginary quantities of doidy. Because
it is an ADVERB, it can ONLY come in imaginary quantities.
BUT, that _begs the question_, how many *qualities* of doidy can you have?
HMMM?
> ALSO, HEY, NO TYPOS AND I AM BARELY ABLE TO STAND FOR ALL THE
> HOMEMADE CIDER I JUST DRANK! I AM MAKING LOTS OF TYPOS BUT AM
> DELETING THEM ALL AND RETYPING THEM PROPERLY, LIKE SOME KIND OF
> LABRADOR PROOFREADER, BITCH!
Why do Joe Bay's drunk posts make him funnier, while mine make me
stupider? THAT"S NOT FAIR.
--Jeremy
--
Jeremy Impson
jdim...@acm.org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson
John D Salt
> John D Salt <john...@NOSPAM.btclick.com> writes:
>
>> Beable van Polasm <bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> wrote
>> in news:m2y95t4...@dingo.beable.com:
>>
>> > John D Salt <john...@NOSPAM.btclick.com> writes:
>> [Snips]
>> >> I will donate £5 to Oxfam for the first web site I hear
>> >> of that warns about the number of items that can be
>> >> ordered with a message reading "This mass of goods
>> >> exceeds the mass of the planet, so long shipping delays
>> >> are unavoidable and a Dyson Sphere Construction
>> >> Surcharge may be payable".
>> >
>> > I found one!
>> > http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
>>
>> Curse you, Beable Industries, you win this time.
>
> No John, EVERYBODY WINS! YAYYY! Aren't you glad that you
> didn't promise five HUNDRED squids?
OK, curse you, Beable Industries, everybody wins this time.
As I have paid up using my Amnesty International credit card, AI
have proffed to the tune of something like threepence in the old
money. Also, I assume that the co-operative bank will be taking
its cut. And Worldpay presumably make something on the deal.
Yet Oxfam still get a while fiver. This sounds to me like a
scheme to MAKE! MONEY! FAST! in extremely small amounts.
I was mildly bemused by the following boilerplate from WorldPay,
who seem to be very concerned about the possibility of my not
receiving a fiver's worth of Ethiopian sanitation by return of
post:
NB: This confirmation email is not an acceptance of your order
and you cannot assume that a contract exists between yourself
and OXFAM for the sale of goods or services until OXFAM
specifically confirms it.
It is OXFAM's responsibility to confirm acceptance of your order
and for delivery.
All the best,
John.
Beable van Polasm
> Mark Hill <mh...@epicentre.net> writes:
>
> >Beable van Polasm <bea...@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS> writes:
> >> Yep, seems to be working JUST FINE. You naughty person.
>
> >It didn't even let me order i bags of doidy! Silly person.
>
> They don't deal in very small, or imaginary, quantities of doidy.
In fact, we sold SO MUCH DOIDY that it is no longer ALL OVER YOU SCREEN:
-> status: 503 Daily cgi usage limit exceeded content-type: text/html
->
-> The website you have requested has exceeded its daily cgi-script
-> quota and has been temporarily de-activated. It will automatically
-> be re-activated on Jan 11, 2003.
->
-> If you are the owner of this web site you can re-activate it
-> immediately by logging into your Member Tools located at
-> http://www.netfirms.com/members and upgrading to one of our Premium
-> Hosting plans.
WHOOPSIE! I got Slashd^h^h^h^h^h^h ARKed. OK WHO WAS IT??? Who sat
there clicking RELOAD over and over again until it broke? I HOPE
YOU'RE SATISFIED!
> ALTHOUGH DOIDY IS AN ADJECTIVE, NOT A NOUN, WHICH COULD
> EXIST IN QUANTITIES. DUR-HEY. AND ALSO, IF IT'S A SUBSTANTIVE
> ADJECTIVE, WHAT IS THE ASSUMED NOUN?
You don't think that you can have a quantity of an adjective?
What about "green"? Or "smelly"?
> ALSO, HEY, NO TYPOS AND I AM BARELY ABLE TO STAND FOR ALL THE
> HOMEMADE CIDER I JUST DRANK!
Many people sit down when using a computar.
> I AM MAKING LOTS OF TYPOS BUT AM DELETING THEM ALL AND RETYPING THEM
> PROPERLY, LIKE SOME KIND OF LABRADOR PROOFREADER, BITCH!
---+ _\
/ | __/o \_
+--- | \____ \ <== JOE BAY, BITCH
| | / \
+--- | //\ \
\ | // \ \_/
---+ +---+ \ |
==========\+---+ \ | |
|| \==== _|| |
|| || +====+
Dean Lenort
> I found one!
> http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
The system appears to be b0rken. I just ordered 5318008 Doidys and the
stupid system didn't return "FNARR! FNARR!" as expected. Well, to be fair
it would have to be an upside down "FNARR! FNARR!" so maybe it's just that
the primitive Austrian character set Beable used doesn't support that
particular bit of typography so he just chose the easy wasy out and chose
to insult me instead. So it goes.
--
Dean Lenort | Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of crochet!
dean....@att.net | -- Theresa Willis
Robert Synnott
>
> I found one!
> http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
>
> cheers
> Beable van Polasm
Well I never! I thought I was the only person who wrote little web apps
to annoy friends with (only currently online example at
http://rsynnott.f2g.net/softsaviour). Hi, by the way; this is my first
posting here, though I've been lurking for a while.
Bob
madge
That'll be $20 (same as in town) membership fee and no discounts for
over 60's.
--
I've been very careful not to do anything unkosher, daring, or cool.
--James ``Kibo'' Parry
Jeremy Impson
I (finally) fixed your subject line for all y'all.
David DeLaney
>Beable van Polasm wrote:
> >
> > I found one!
> > http://beable.com/cgi-bin/order
> >
> > cheers
> > Beable van Polasm
>
>Well I never! I thought I was the only person who wrote little web apps
>to annoy friends with (only currently online example at
>http://rsynnott.f2g.net/softsaviour).
Nope. Write'em if you got'em.
>Hi, by the way; this is my first
>posting here, though I've been lurking for a while.
>Bob
HELLO SHAWN-BOB!
Dave "this hyear is a PENcil by GAWD" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
David DeLaney
>I (finally) fixed your subject line for all y'all.
Almost. B for effort.
Dave "adding Universe to cart ... NOW, Captain." "Uhura?" DeLaney
John Burrage
>Jeremy Impson <jdim...@acm.org> wrote:
>>I (finally) fixed your subject line for all y'all.
>
>Almost. B for effort.
>
>Dave "adding Universe to cart ... NOW, Captain." "Uhura?" DeLaney
Just keeping the dream alive.
--
John Burrage http://members.iinet.net.au/~burrage/
"That makes one year to go before I'm headline news
in every newspaper in the world." - George Hammond,
1 July 2002.