Studs gone wild on Haulover: Trip report
newnude
appreciate a little trip report:
Weather was blazing hot. Very few clouds. Anemic breeze. Crowd was
about 70 percent male, 30 percent female. Probably 80 percent
straight, the rest gay.
Unlike my first time at Haulover in May, I was a bit annoyed by the
cruising, semi-sober loud males who seemed to dominate the center of
the beach. I'm not saying they were swingers (although they might have
been. I'll leave it to regulars like JayMagoo to fill us in about
who's who).
But three guys in particular made me want to keep relocating my bare
ass down the beach: a bleach blond tattooed middle aged guy, a wildly
long curly haired tan guy, equally middle aged and grossly tattooed;
and a preening bald black stud who specialized in self adoration.
They just couldn't sit still: every youthful single female and
male/female couple was approached. Every syllable of their
conversations was audible within 50 feet. The black dude had the
greatest range. Amazingly, in my three hours there, he managed to
strike up self-referential conversations with at least a dozen
couples, always managing to keep his half-erect cock and gym rat pecs
within worshipping distance of the female he was talking to.
One pretty young female who came alone was lying on her stomach,
unaware that the guy was leering her crack a full 5-10 seconds. I
assume these three guys' wanderings had something to do with sex. I
happened to be walking by at one point and heard, between the drunken
guffaws, the phrase "bareback orgy." I didn't stick around to hear any
more.
I don't care if they want to screw everything on two legs, it's
just a shame they were so damned loud about everything. Some tact,
please, gentlemen. Once again, I found that the homosexuals, contrary
to expectations, were more subtle and better behaved. I think being a
minority makes the gays more polite out of fear of a straight
backlash. Only overt gayness was two lesbians who hugged and kissed
briefly in surf.
Larry "the beach mayor" was true to form. No sooner had a pretty
brunette stripped out of her red bikini than Larry was hovering over
her luscious body and asking her if she'd like a massage. Rejected, he
made a beeline for a skinny Asian woman, who, spotting the shaggy
septagenarian tramping toward her, waved him off before he'd entered
her gravitational field. I found Larry nice and harmless. He was never
gross, just smitten with young women. May my sex drive be so strong at
70.
My biggest problem with this week's trip, aside from the stud
crawl, was that the rental umbrella kiosk was closed. I expected to
rent one as I did in May, but had to sweat it out under direct sun
when it failed to open. Unfortunately, my white, cotton tail derriere
got burned as a result. I can hear my wife now, saying it serves you
right for going nude on the beach. Word to the wise: bring your own
umbrella. I sweat so much I had to drink 4 liters of water during and
after my beach visit.
It's funny: I recognized at least 3 couples this week from my May
trip. Ditto for a few of the single men. There must be a solid core of
regulars. One difference stood out, though. Many more women this week
kept their bathing suit bottoms on. A few bikinied women accompanied
their naked boyfriends.
Just a few recollections. Please comment if know any of the
characters I mentioned in my report.
newnude
Cheef
Any suggestions about what can be done regarding the jerks who "dominate
the center of the beach" there?
I've run into similar groups at Sandy Hook. Requesting them politely to
tone it down usually gets either a rude reaction, with the problem
continuing or else it gets a polite apology, with the problem stopping
for 1-2 minutes before resuming at full force.
studeb...@hotmail.com (newnude) wrote in
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JayMagoo
>Date: 7/23/03 1:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <8fa66145.03072...@posting.google.com>
>Went to Haulover for second time this year. Thought some of you might
>appreciate a little trip report:
Magoo responds:
Not a bad report, Studebaker. I've seen the kind of drunken boorishness you
describe many times. Seldom does it get beyond the loutish stage, although all
of us wish at times they would just go away. Haulover is a public beach, you
are liable to see anything there. And as long as the louts don't break the law
we must endure their behavior.
My GF and I have recently moved ourselves away from the crowds in the central
part of the beach, after four years there, and now park at the southern end
between the last lifeguard station and the wooden fence. It is not nearly as
crowded there, but there is no shortage of colorful and amusing characters.
I get a little weary sometimes of those who have come to the beach a dozen
times in their lives and who then represent themselves as experts on what goes
on there. Those same people parade around on weekends as they were the "true"
denizens of the beach, with the keys to the secret knowledge of the beach.
They can have it. We've moved downbeach. So we're now off by ourselves with the
true beach characters, not the weekend warriors. Besides the weekend crowds by
the volleyball nets get a little too neurotic for us, there is a little too
much of checking each other out for our taste. That's not what we go to the
beach for.
But that being said, the appeal of Haulover will always be its diversity, and
while some deny the particular diversity they don't want to acknowledge in the
interest of their own political correctness (PC), that diversity is what makes
Haulover universally and eternally fun.
I did recognize some of the characters you describe, but their obnoxious
behavior is such that I'd just as soon not comment on them. I love Haulover
Beach and to continue enjoying it I find it is sometimes necessary to turn a
blind eye to some things.
I don't know if you noticed it, but it does seem to me there there have been
more women of all ages coming to Haulover alone in the last six month or year,
perhaps nudism is becoming more acceptable to women alone who merely want to
enjoy the beach.
Magoo
Tom K
talking to one another like the textile beaches everywhere. I am glad this
is never my experience when I visit, as I'd be really pissed.
Tom
"JayMagoo" <jaym...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030723183730...@mb-m29.aol.com...
newnude
> Ya'll seem to want it to be such a boring place. Hardly any stranger
> talking to one another like the textile beaches everywhere. I am glad this
> is never my experience when I visit, as I'd be really pissed.
>
> Tom
>
>
>
I understand your point well. One thing I like about Haulover is
that strangers feel comfortable to talk to one another. But I think
there are limits. These guys I referenced in my report reminded me of
desperate guys who hit up every babe who enters a nightclub. They used
what I considered to be cheap pickup lines (Do I know you from
somewhere?) to wedge themselves between male/female couples. One of
the men plopped himself uninvited on a couple's cooler so that his
half-hard wiener pointed three feet from the wife. (Notice how they
never position themselves next to the boyfriend/husbands?) Whenever a
group of attractive people entered the beach, they'd nudge each other,
like I used to do with my horny buddies in college, and oggle
collectively. It's a public beach and loutishness is generally not
illegal. But I have no doubt that they'll scare off hesitant new
nudists. I'm trying to get my wife to go and she worries about being
hit on by aggressive jerks. Alas, I discovered my last trip that her
worries could be well founded. Take it easy.
Kathleen
>that strangers feel comfortable to talk to one another. But I think
>there are limits. These guys I referenced in my report reminded me of
>desperate guys who hit up every babe who enters a nightclub. They used
>what I considered to be cheap pickup lines (Do I know you from
>somewhere?) to wedge themselves between male/female couples. One of
>the men plopped himself uninvited on a couple's cooler so that his
>half-hard wiener pointed three feet from the wife. (Notice how they
>never position themselves next to the boyfriend/husbands?) Whenever a
>group of attractive people entered the beach, they'd nudge each other,
>like I used to do with my horny buddies in college, and oggle
>collectively. It's a public beach and loutishness is generally not
>illegal. But I have no doubt that they'll scare off hesitant new
>nudists. I'm trying to get my wife to go and she worries about being
>hit on by aggressive jerks. Alas, I discovered my last trip that her
>worries could be well founded. Take it easy.
>
>
Thanks for your report. People can now make a better decision on whether they
want to go to places like that.
Kathleen
"I will put my trust in Him", Hebrews 2:13
"She'll make you take your
Clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life
Until you go insane
No, you'll never be the same"