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DRTOURI GOES TO STORE.

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Rollin Thomas

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Jun 21, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/21/97
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:::::::::: Author's Note ::::::::::
This story is written in the style of Dr. Touri. Dr. Touri has posted to
usenet occasionally. Dr. Touri believes that the earthquake in Iran,
flooding in the Dakotas, etc., was caused by HAARP, a large antenna array
in Alaska. Dr. Touri's unique prose style provides us with a rich and
bizarre medium to experiment with.
::::::::: ::::::::::::: :::::::::::

TODAY DRTOURI GETS IN CAR? MASSIVE HOT WEATHERS MAKES CAR HAVE HOTS INSIDE
HOT STEERING WHEEL, HOT BURNINGS OF HANDS OF DRTOURI?? MASSIVE HOT WEATHERS
CAUSED OF HAARP IS AMERICKA IS SATAN? HOTS TURNS ON AIRS CONDITIONINGS AND
MASSIVE COOL AIRS OPENS WINDOWS OF GLASS?

ROLLINGS OF CARS ON ROAD BEAUTIFUL DR TOURI IS FINDINGS? GOOD FOR DRIVING
TODAY DRTOURI? DRTOURI TURNS ON RADIO, MASSIVE STATICS AND MASSIVE HOT
SOUNDS FROM MASSIVE HOT WEATHERS 100+ FAHRENHEITS? BAD RECEPTIONS OF FAVORITE
SPICE GIRLS SONGS IS OF CAUSINGS OF HAARP OF ALASKA? BILL CLINTON ARE YOU
LISTENING? ARE YOU UP TO DATES??? LISTEN ART BELL TONIGHT???

WATCH OUT, YOU MIGHT GET WHAT YOU'RE AFTER?

AT GROCERY STORE? OPENS DOOR BLASTINGS OF COOL AIR EVAPORATINGS CAUSED OF
SWEAT ON SKINS OF DRTOURIS UNDERARMS AND FOREHEAD? AIR CONDITIONINGS
CAUSED BY AYATOLLAH OF IRAN AND IRI???

PRODUCES. DRTOURI IS MINDS OF BUYING AVOCADOS> AND OF KUMQUATS> AND OF
CANTALOUPSE> AND OF CARROTS FOR STEW OF POTATOES? DOING DRTOURI IS OF
FINDINGS OF CARROTS AND OF CANTALOUPSE AND AVOCADOS BUT OF KUMQUATS NO???
IS KUMQUAT GROWER UNDER HOUSE ARREST BY SECRET ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT???
ARE YOU UP TO DATES, KUMQUAT GROWERS OF AMERIKA?

DARIES. DRTOURI VICTIMIZINGS OF LACTOSE INTOLERATIONINGS? DRTOURI IS
OF MIND, PERHAPS OF CAUSINGS BY HAARP OF ALASCKA IN USA??? BILL CLINTON
ARE YOU LISTENING, ARE YOU UP TO DATES??? SKIM MILK SELECTIONINGS BY
DRTOURI, EXPIRING DATE OF 7/12/97? EXCELLENTINGS! EATINGS OF BAD CHEESES
NOT CAUSING HAPPY STOMACHS OF DRTOURI?

PASTAS. RAMEN NOODLES IS PASTAS? CHILDREN OF AMERRIKA DO YOU LOVE YOUR
PARENTS AND DOGS TOO? EATINGS OF RAMEN NOODLES IS YOURS? CHILDREN NOT
TO DIE OF OLD AGE? HAARPING OF IRAN CAUSES 8.0+ EARTHQUAKES?

DRINKS. ALCOHOL FOR DRTOURIS NO!!! MUSLIMS NOT OF DRINKIGN OF ALCOLHOLH,
BUT OF FRUITY JUICES YES! FRUITY JUICES FRUITY JUICES? TROPIKANA TRISTER
IS OF HAARP CAUSINGS?

DRTOURI AT CHECKOUT? PAPERINGS OF GROCERIES OR SURROUNDINGS OF PRODUCTS
BY PLASTICS. DRTOURI NOT KNOW!!!! USINGS OF BOTH FOR DRTOURI PRODUCTS
OF PRODUCE AND OF PASTAS AND OF DRINKS AND OF DARIES IS GOOD? FINE!!!!

DRTOURI INSERTS INTO CAR, TURNS ON IGNITION, BUT MASSIVE HOT WEATHERS
IS OF CAUSINGS OF HOT BURNINGS OF HANDS OF DRTOURI? DRTOURI RETURNINGS
OF HOME< GETTINGS OF GASOLINE FROM IRAN? CAR IS ON THE HOSE OH NO!
HAARP!!!

Charles Dick

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Jun 22, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/22/97
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> OF HOME< GETTINGS OF GASOLINE FROM IRAN? CAR IS ON THE HOSE OH NO!

Someone incorporate the line, "CAR IS ON THE HOSE OH NO!" into a hymnal
in time for July. Perhaps make it part of or all of a chorus, to be
blasted repeatedly during a song.

Ilana Stern

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Jun 23, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/23/97
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> > OF HOME< GETTINGS OF GASOLINE FROM IRAN? CAR IS ON THE HOSE OH NO!
>
> Someone incorporate the line, "CAR IS ON THE HOSE OH NO!" into a hymnal

Pigeons on the grass, alas.

nikolai kingsley

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Jul 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/1/97
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> > Someone incorporate the line, "CAR IS ON THE HOSE OH NO!" into a hymnal
> Pigeons on the grass, alas.


Soap is on the rope, i hope.

nikolai
---
hey, ho, the pope smokes dope

Swan

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Jul 13, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/13/97
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nikolai kingsley wrote:
>
> > Pigeons on the grass, alas.
>
> Soap is on the rope, i hope.
>
> nikolai
> ---

Newbies on the Net, forget!

Mao Tse-Tung

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Jul 18, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/18/97
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> Soap is on the rope, i hope.

> hey, ho, the pope smokes dope

Reference: "Pope On A Rope" -Meatmen, nice cover art, too.

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