Transcript of Tito on Letterman
Kenneth Burns
Here is a cheerfully unofficial transcript of Dennis Tito's
appearance on last night's "Late Show With David Letterman":
***
[During Letterman's introduction from commercial, there are brief clips
of a spacesuited Tito on earth prior to launch, a Soyuz rocket launch,
Tito being pulled into the ISS, and a waving Tito being pulled from
landing module.]
David Letterman: Earlier this month our next guest returned from an
eight-day trip to the International Space Station, for which he paid the
Russian Space Agency twenty million dollars. Ladies and gentlemen, here
he is, Dennis Tito.
[Enter Tito as band plays "Mothership Connection (Star Child)" by George
Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars.]
DL: Welcome to the show. How long did this project take when you first
got the idea to spend the money, and I assume you got that kind of
dough, you're worth, easily, you're like a half billion dollars or
something?
Dennis Tito: No, nothing like that.
DL: How much are you worth?
DT: That's a secret.
[Audience laughs]
DL: Enough to pay twenty million to the Russians.
DT: That's right.
DL: Okay. So let's assume that you're worth twenty million, one dollars.
[Audience laughs]
DT: I'd go!
DL: Ah, and then how long, when did it begin, when did you have the
idea, when did it start?
DT: Ten years ago.
DL: Ten years ago. And you, you had to approach the Russians somehow?
How did you do that?
DT: Well, I was on a business trip to, ah, Moscow. This was just before
the Soviet Union came to an end.
DL: Mm-hm.
DT: And I met with them, uh, to discuss their guest cosmonaut program.
DL: And why were they interested in it? Were they interested then
purely in the money? Is that what it was?
DT: Course.
[Audience laughs]
DL: Yeah.
DT: Nothing's changed.
DL: And, and the twenty, the twenty million dollars that you paid them,
will that make a difference in their space program?
DT: Well, uh, it represents about fifteen percent of their budget.
[Audience gasps, laughs]
DL: Uh huh. Their budget compared to the budget of NASA is what?
DT: One percent. One percent of the NASA budget.
DL: Wow. Now, now see, knowing this, I'm not sure I would have taken
'em up on the...
[Audience laughs, applauds]
DT: [Laughs]
DL: Know what I mean? Did you ever, did you ever worry about that? Did
you ever think, now wait a minute, these guys are not spending enough
money on this deal, maybe I shouldn't be going with them?
DT: Well, they're using the same rocket that they've used for the last
thirty years, and they haven't had anything go wrong for that amount of
time.
DL: But it's a thirty year old rocket!
[Audience laughs, applauds]
DT: [Laughs]
DL: But you went through training. What was the training like?
DT: Well, ah, it started last August and, uh, it was a shock. I went
from fairly nice lifestyle...
DL: Mm-hm.
DT: ...to this two-room flat on a military base.
DL: Right.
DT: And uh, you know the first thing they tell me is you have to be here
at a certain time, and they meant...
DL: Mm-hm.
DT: ...every morning i had to show up at nine o'clock.
DL: Were they strict, were they stern, were they not cordial?
DT: They were very cordial, but very strict.
DL: Uh-huh. Did, did they like you? Did they like this idea?
DT: Ah, they really got to like me over time.
[Audience laughs]
DL: Mm-hm. [Laughs] Is that true of most people?
DT: Originally they liked the, they liked the money.
[Audience laughs]
DL: [Laughs]
DT: We don't know about that. [Laughs]
DL: We don't know about that.
[Audience laughs, applauds]
DL: And, and so you're in training, for how long did that last?
DT: About eight months.
DL: Were you confident that the training you had and how you received it
would be enough to serve you on this mission?
DT: Oh yeah, the training was excellent.
DL: Mm-hm.
DT: You know, the Russians have been training cosmonauts for forty
years, and uh, they've had a lot of experience in long-term, uh,
long-duration space flight, so, no, I knew the training that I was
getting was real, quality training.
DL: And, and of a list of a half a dozen things to be deeply concerned
about, what was on that list?
DT: Well, the boost phase of course is uh...
DL: This is liftoff.
DT: What you just saw on the TV.
DL: And what is that sensation?
DT: Well, it turned out to be a lot easier than i thought. Uh, I had a
simulation of it in a centrifuge.
DL: Mm-hm.
DT: And, uh, you barely feel it...
DL: Is it--
DT: ...when you first take off.
DL: But it's gentle, steady pressure is that what it was?
DT: And then it builds up, and uh, then the first stage stops, and looks
like you're falling back for about, uh, three seconds, it, it lights again.
DL: So you feel that, are you actually losing altitude at that point or
it's just a sensation?
DT: Well, you are probably losing a little...
DL: You're dropping a little bit.
DT: ...but you still have speed.
DL: Uh-huh.
DT: You're losing acceleration.
DL: But the power has been cut, obviously.
DT: And then it lights again and you're off.
DL: And, and are you like this waitin' for it to light again? [Crosses
fingers]
[Audience laughs]
DT: Well, I had a cue card in my right hand...
DL: Uh-huh.
DT: ...which had all the staging events, uh, listed, the altitude, the G
load, so I wasn't going to let anything go by me...
DL: Right.
DT: ...without knowing what was going on.
DL: Now, were you doing anything during this period, I mean, were you,
did you have responsibilities at all? How many other cosmonauts...
DL: Well, during--
DL: Was it two cosmonauts and yourself, was that what it was?
DT: That's right, three of us.
DL: Was there a lot of, "Don't touch that, Dennis! Don't, no!"
[Audience laughs]
DT: Well, actually there was something, because, ah, we're in the boost
phase and the rocket's still burning, and, uh, they asked me, they said
uh, "How do you feel?"
DL: Mmm.
DT: So I said uh, [something in Russian], and I put my finger up [makes
thumbs-up sign], just when I first did this finger sign, and the
commander pulled my hand down, like I wasn't supposed to lift my hand
while, uh, I was being launched.
DL: I see. Did, did you have any problem with space, space sickness?
DT: Uh, a little bit the first day, because I was over-confident and I
said, "Well Let me try a little, uh, apricot juice."
DL: Uh-huh.
DT: Well my stomach did not agree with that.
[Audience giggles]
DL: Should've...
DT: That went over, got over very quickly.
DL: Should've...
[Audience laughs]
DL: Should've been apricot juice and Stoli, that's what it should've...
DT: Right. [Laughs] Yeah, that would've worked a lot better.
[Audience laughs]
DL: So, so, uh, so how long does it take you to get into orbit? Is it
just a matter of uh minutes, really?
DT: Nine minutes.
DL: Nine minutes, and then you're in orbit.
DT: You're in it. It's so fast.
DL: What is the altitude of your orbit?
DT: About, uh, well initially about two hundred miles.
DL: Two hundred, oh my God. And what is the perspective, what does it
do to you emotionally to look down from two hundred miles, what is that
experience?
DT: Well, to see the Earth from space for the first time is, uh,
probably the most thrilling experience of my life.
DL: Mm-hm. That, that's the twenty million right there, isn't it?
DT: Right. Right.
[Audience laughs]
DL: Yeah.
DT: Definitely, it's worth it.
[Audience applauds]
DL: I would think so.
DT: But to sit there and look out the window and see that Earth going
by, and you're moving along...
DL: Mm-hm.
DT: I mean you can go from LA to New York in about eight minutes, I mean
that's how fast you're moving.
DL: Good heavens.
DT: And uh, you look out at that Earth, and you have a black sky, and
you see the thin horizon, the atmosphere below, and you realize that,
you know, this is where you've lived for the last sixty years, and
you're no longer on Earth.
DL: Right. Were you at any point regretting this decision? Did you,
was, was there a moment when you thought, "You know what, this was not a
good idea."
[Audience laughs]
DT: You mean once I was up there?
DL: At any point, at any point during the training, or from the, uh,
landing, anytime?
DT: Well, there were a couple of times during the training where I
thought, well maybe it's not going to happen.
DL: Yeah.
DT: And, uh, I said, you know, I really hadn't talked to myself about
that, and said, look, I'm going to continue with this, win or lose, and
that's what I did.
DL: We have uh, we have uh, photos here of the landing. Are, are you
famous now in Russia? Did you become a celebrity there?
DT: Well, actually I'm quite well known in Russia, and uh, they've
gotten to like me because, uh, it turns out that their image of somebody
that's wealthy is a little bit different than, than, uh, the one I have.
DL: Mm-hm.
[Audience laughs]
DT: It's like gold chains...
DL: Ah, yeah.
DT: ...and uh, black leather jackets.
DL: Sure, like Paul.
DT: [Laughs]
[Cut to Paul Shaffer, looking quizzical. Audience laughs, applauds.]
DL: [Shows photo of landing module and parachute on ground. The landing
module has left a drag mark.] This is the uh, they, they, what part of
uh, where is this? Russia is where you land?
DT: No, it's in Kazakhstan.
DL: Kazakhstan.
DT: Desert.
DL: Uh-huh. And you just, I guess this is where you were hit and
dragged a little bit, right?
[Audience laughs]
DT: Yeah, I remember that.
DL: Yeah.
[Audience laughs]
DL: And then, and then, and then here's the recovery crew. [Shows photo
of two men running toward landing module, which is on its side.]
[Audience laughs]
DT: Right. You notice the capsule...
DL: [In funny voice] "Ah, it's over, I saw it come down over there."
[Audience laughs]
DT: It's actually on its side, and I was lucky because I was on the top
part. My fellow crew members were below me, so...
DL: This thing, it's...
DT: ...it's comfortable.
DL: It's tiny!
DT: Right.
DL: And then when you bounce down in Kazakhstan, what is that, how do
you, uh, absorb that impact?
DT: Well, they have seats that have a little spring on them, that...
[Audience laughs]
DL: [Laughs] Oh, I see. I've seen those in Wile E. Coyote cartoons.
[Audience laughs, applauds]
DL: Oh, see there's a spring on 'em. Boing, boing!
[SFX: Boing]
DL: That's right.
DT: So about ten minutes before landing it springs forward. Your face
is right up against the, uh, instrument panel and, uh, the idea is, once
you land it absorbs that, that shock. And we landed and felt the shock,
and I still saw that the instrument panel was right up against my face.
And my other two crew mates, you know, they were sitting back.
DL: They were fine.
DT: It didn't work.
DL: You got the wacky seat.
[Audience laughs]
DT: And it turned out, I didn't weigh enough, weigh enough.
DL: You didn't weigh enough to, to activate the...
DT: ...to make it go back, so I got the full shock.
DL: Now is, is this the way of the future for space travel in Russia and
maybe even one day in this country? Is this how it's going to be, uh...
DT: Well, it'd be much more comfortable to land on the shuttle.
DL: No no no, I mean, I mean...
[Audience laughs]
DL: Paying, paying for rides?
DT: Well hopefully, uh, NASA will resurrect the, uh, citizen in space
program and then people won't have to pay.
DL: Mm-hm. Yeah. All right.
DT: But I think maybe there'll be opportunities in Russia to pay, pay
for flights.
DL: Well, it's a once in a lifetime deal, and I'm glad you're back, I'm
glad you're here to enjoy it.
DT: Thank you.
DL: Thank you very much. Dennis Tito, everybody. We'll be right back.
[Tape of Soyuz launching, to commercial.]
rk
>
> Here is a cheerfully unofficial transcript of Dennis Tito's
> appearance on last night's "Late Show With David Letterman":
I feel asleep; was Tito the first guest?
I gots to know!
--
rk They are our gremlin hunters who are
stellar engineering, ltd. empowered to stalk the shop floor,
stel...@erols.com.NOSPAM look over our shoulders and take us
Hi-Rel Digital Systems Design to task when they sense something
might be wrong. This is not the
traditional 2 days of viewgraph watching.
-- Dan Goldin, April 27, 2000 on independent review teams.
LooseChanj
news:3B0AD9C3...@nospamplease.erols.com...
> I feel asleep; was Tito the first guest?
>
> I gots to know!
No, there was the usual crap, first guest (Ray Romano), then Tito. I dunno
who (if anyone) came on after, I went to bed myself at that point.
--
JamesOberg
Thanks, Kenneth! I'd like to pass this around to some friends, with your name
as origin -- no problem?
Joe Biles
Thanks for the transcript,
Joe Biles
Kenneth Burns
JamesOberg <james...@aol.com> wrote:
>
>Thanks, Kenneth! I'd like to pass this around to some friends, with your name
>as origin -- no problem?
Feel free, I'm just a lowly scribe!
K
rk
> > I feel asleep; was Tito the first guest?
> >
> > I gots to know!
>
> No, there was the usual crap, first guest (Ray Romano), then Tito. I dunno
> who (if anyone) came on after, I went to bed myself at that point.
Thanks, Loose.
--
rk "There will be prayer in schools
stellar engineering, ltd. as long as schools give tests"
stel...@erols.com.NOSPAM -- can't remember who said it - 2000
Hi-Rel Digital Systems Design
James
> Here is a cheerfully unofficial transcript of Dennis Tito's
> appearance on last night's "Late Show With David Letterman":
... What, no MET timestamps? What kind of lousy transcript is this, anyway?
<g>
Thanks for taking the time to do this, Ken.
James
Interim Books
>DT:Well, they're using the same rocket that they've used for the last
>DT:thirty years, and they haven't had anything go wrong for that amount of
>DT:time.
So much for his much vaunted expertise.....
D.
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Chris Aseltine
"Joe Biles" <bi...@wf.net> wrote in message
news:3b0ae3b0...@news.wf.net...
Bill Bonde
Interim Books wrote:
>
> On 22 May 2001 15:19:47 -0500, kr...@cawtech.com (Kenneth Burns) wrote:
>
> >DT:Well, they're using the same rocket that they've used for the last
> >DT:thirty years, and they haven't had anything go wrong for that amount of
> >DT:time.
>
> So much for his much vaunted expertise.....
>
Do you think he's maybe just simplifying for the venue he's in?
Interim Books
It's not simplification, it's outright wrong. Downplaying the
accidents would be simplification and certainly appropriate to the
venue. Denial of their existence is a blatant falsehood.