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Sex in Islam

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التخطي إلى أول رسالة غير مقروءة

Rabia Mills

غير مقروءة،
13‏/03‏/1999، 3:00:00 ص13‏/3‏/1999
إلى
As-Salaamu Alaikum.

We (The Canadian Society of Muslims =96 http://muslim-canada.org )
recently received a letter from a lady requesting information on sex in
the Islamic faith. We thought it was a good question which deserved a
more comprehensive approach than we could possibly give in an e-mail
letter. So we published our response to her on both our websites: The
Canadian Society of Muslims and our Matrimonial Link Service: (
http://www3.sympatico.ca/muslim.arbitration )

We have also decided that it might prove beneficial to post a portion of
our response to the soc.religion.islam Newsgroup as well, in order to
give it a wider exposure as we felt there may be many misconceptions out
there. Please note that this is not the whole article as there is a
great deal more information in the Appendices and End notes which were
published on our website and which are not included in this posting.

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Rabia

begin---------------------------------------------

We received an e-mail enquiry recently from a non-Muslim lady requesting
information concerning the issues of sexual relations and menopause in
Islam. We felt that her question warranted a more thorough approach, so
we decided to publish our answer on this website.

Here is her original letter to us and our initial response to her.
Please note her name and e-mail address have been withheld.

Her original letter to us:

I saw your posting on soc.religion.islam and hope you don't mind my
writing you.

I've been trying to find information on how Islam, specifically the
Qur'an, deals with the subject of sex. I am sure this may seem like a
set-up of some sort but please let me assure you, it is not.

I'm on several menopause mailing lists, and the subject of sex and
religion has come up. Some religions feel that sex should be only for
procreation and not for enjoyment. With menopause putting an end to a
woman's fertility, those religions would appear to be saying that once a
woman reaches menopause, she shouldn't be having sex.

I've been submerging myself in Islam newsgroups and books for the past
month, and for the life of me, I can not find the reference that
indicated that Islam dictates sexual relations only within marriage, and
only for
procreation.

Am I wrong? I'd appreciate any references that you might be able to
provide. Please feel free to forward this message to anyone you feel may
be able to help me. . . end of letter

Our initial e-mail response to her:

Thank you for your enquiry . . .

Briefly, here are some quick answers to your two questions:
1. Procreation is NOT the only purpose of marriage in Islam, because a
secondary purpose is also companionship and enjoyment.
2. Menopause does NOT put an end to sexual relations in a Muslim
marriage.

End of our initial e-mail response to her

This more detailed response now follows . . .

SEX IN ISLAM =96 ITS ROLE AND PURPOSE
by Syed Mumtaz Ali & Rabia Mills

In the Islamic faith, the first and the foremost and the most reliable
and highest form of religious law for faithful Muslims is contained
within the holy Qur=92an. The Prophetic Traditions (also known as Hadith,
which are the sayings and doings and tacit approval of things said or
done in the presence of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h.) are a second
source of law. With that said, we hope the following reply will answer
your question.

According to Islam, procreation is not the sole and only purpose of
marriage. While procreation is a primary purpose, companionship and
enjoyment of the spouse along with avoidance of unlawful or sinful
relationships are also secondary purposes. These secondary purposes play
their own important roles in the Islamic teachings which govern sexual
relations. In other words, although procreation is definitely an aim, it
is not an exclusive aim. Procreation is the major purpose, but
nonetheless enjoyment and other purposes also play significant roles in
married life as evidenced by the Islamic teachings which relate to
sexual relations.

Although the primary purpose of sex is procreation, the Qur=92an does not
forbid it when a woman reaches menopause. For example, in the Qur=92an is
the story is about the Prophet Zakariya a.s. (Christian spelling --
Zakaria) [see Qur=92an 19:1-15] who had fathered a child well into his ol=
d
age. One verse in particular reads:

=93He [Zakariya] said: =93O my Lord! How shall I have a son, when my wife=
is
barren and I have grown quite decrepit from old age?=94 [Qur=92an 19:8]

=93He said: =93So (it will be): thy Lord saith, =93That is easy for Me: I=
did
indeed create thee before, when thou hadst been nothing!=94 [Qur=92an 19:=
9]

The Qur=92anic reference above, then, shows the case of a couple carrying
on sexual relations well into old age. This in turn signifies that these
relations are allowed within marriage and into old age for Muslim
couples.

You will recall that this same story is found in the Old Testament with
reference to Zakaria a.s. who was made to be mute for three days and
nights as a sign from God.

In this connection, it is interesting to note that even in our
relatively recent times, history has recorded the fact that the great
Sufi Shaikh, Abdul Qadir Gilani r.a., was born on the 1st day of
Ramadan 470 A.H [some historians say 471 A.H] which corresponds to March
18, 1078 A.D. His mother was 60 years of age at the time of his birth.

In terms of the Traditions of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h. we can see
another meaningful example of this in the life of the Prophet. The
Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. married his first wife (Khadija aged 40) when
he was 25 years old, and he remained monogamous throughout his entire
26 years of marriage to her. He then married A=92isha at the age of 54,
but this was three years after the death of Khadija. It was after this
marriage that he then took other wives. By the way, many non-Muslim
writers have directed a great deal of unjust criticism against him for
this. In fact all of these women were quite old or were widows who had
been left destitute and without protection during those troubled times.
And so as the head of State at Medina, the only proper way (according to
Arab code) in which Muhammad p.b.u.h. could extend both protection and
maintenance to them was by marriage. [see Appendix A] Those marriages
were not only consummated, but ancillary sexual relations have also been
reported to us through the Hadith literature. Hence another proof that
sexual relations are considered acceptable well into old age. =93Polygamy
was not always considered to be so reprehensible as it is now. For
example, St. Augustine himself observed that there was no intrinsic
immorality or sinfulness in it, and declared that polygamy was not a
crime where it was the legal institution of a country.=94 This subject
matter, however, is another topic altogether. [see Appendix B]

We have reproduced an excerpt on our website by Dr. M.A. Rauf from his
book =91Marriage in Islam=92. In this excerpt, Dr. Rauf discusses in grea=
t
detail the advantages and possible disadvantages of marriage. Among the
advantages that he discusses are procreation, fulfilment of the natural
urge, companionship, comfort and relief to the soul, and so on. He also
discusses the disadvantages and the types of burdens and risks involved
with marriage. All of the advantages or benefits are in effect meant to
be regarded as the secondary purpose of marriage which supplement its
major aim or purpose, namely procreation. We would highly recommend that
you read this excerpt for a more complete understanding of our present
response to you.

With regards to your question regarding menopause, we would also
strongly suggest that you read the book =93The Proper Conduct of Marriage
in Islam=94 by Imam al-Ghazzali [see Appendix C] We would particularly
refer you to where al-Ghazzali explains the rationale and reasoning for
the recommendation of marriage =96 even for the impotent. In his
Conclusion, al-Ghazzali discusses the other purposes of marriage and
that is to fulfil the natural sexual desires as well as to experience
its joy and protection from the perils of lust.

If one cohabits with one=92s own wife -- not for carnal pleasure alone,
but for performing the duty imposed by God -- it would be an act of
piety and devotion, meriting the pleasure and reward from God and this
is as the Prophet p.b.u.h. has observed. This is what has been described
as spiritualizing temporal duties. [see also Appendix D] You might also
refer to where Imam al-Ghazzali discusses the subject of relaxation and
recreation

Islam also prescribes certain rules of sexual etiquette. Imam
al-Ghazzali also sets out the Prophetic Traditions which deal with the
pleasures of =91foreplay=92 and other similar enjoyments that are permitt=
ed
when the wife is menstruating. Not permitted, however, is to go so far
as to copulate by means of penetration into the vagina during
menstruation.

Islam has declared fornication (which by definition in Islam includes
adultery) unlawful, and it goes to great lengths to make it repugnant by
sanction and deterrent. It has even gone so far as to make any alliances
of this type of unlawful sexual relationship a heinous sin and an odious
offence. In other words, sexual relations of any kind, that fall outside
of lawful marriage, are absolutely forbidden. For example: =96

=93Nor come nigh to adultery for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil,
opening the road (to other evils).=94 [Qur=92an 17:32]

=93The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication =96 flog each =
of
them with a hundred stripes. Let not compassion move you in their case,
in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last
Day. And let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.=94 [Qur=92=
an
24:2]

=93Those who bring the charge of adultery against chaste women but cannot
produce four witnesses to prove the charge, give them 80 lashes and
their testimony should never be believed.=94 [Qur=92an 24:4]

Four Prophetic Traditions:

1. =93Said the Prophet: =91A grievously heinous sin in the estimation of =
God
is to commit adultery with a woman living in one=92s neighbourhood=92=94
[Bukhari & Muslim]

2. =93 He or she who casts a lewd glance at another and allows himself of
herself to be attracted likewise, both meet the displeasure of God.=94
[Dailami]

3. =93There is nothing which God abhors more than adultery.=94

4. =93Observed the Prophet: =91Whenever a calamity befalls a centre of
population, take it for granted that immorality is rampant in that
place.=92 [Dailami]

More Qur=92anic quotes:

=93And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those
who reflect.=94 [Qur=92an 30:21]

=93And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who
will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the
righteous." [Qur=92an 25:74]

=93Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when or how you
will.=94 [Qur=92an 2:223]

=93Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: Ibn Umar misunderstood (the Qur=92anic
verse, =93So come to your tilth however you will=94) =96 may Allah forgiv=
e
him. The fact is that this clan of the Ansar, who were idolaters, lived
in the company of the Jews who were the people of the Book. They (the
Ansar) accepted their superiority over themselves in respect of
knowledge and the followed most of their actions. The people of the Book
(i.e., the Jews) used to have intercourse with their women on one side
alone (i.e., lying on their backs). This was the most concealing
position for (the vagina of) the women. This clan of the Ansar adopted
this practice from them. But this tribe of the Quraysh used to uncover
their women completely, and seek pleasure with them from in front and
behind and laying them on their backs. When the muhajirun (the
immigrants) came to Medina, a man married a woman of the Ansar. He began
to do the same kind of action with her, but she disliked it, and said to
him: We were approached on one side (i.e. lying on the back); do it so,
otherwise keep away from me. The matter of theirs spread widely and it
reached the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him). So Allah, the Exalted,
sent down the Qur=92anic verse: =93Your wives are a tilth to you, so come=
to
your tilth however you will,=94 i.e., from in front, from behind or lying
on the back. But this verse meant the place of the delivery of the
child, i.e., the vagina.=94 [from the Hadith literature: Sunan Abu-Dawud,
Book 11, Number 2159]

=93Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your
wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments.=94 [Qur=92an 2:1=
87]

=93It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) H=
e
has created from him his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], in order that he might
enjoy the pleasure of living with her . . .=94 [Qur=92an 7:189]

=93And Allah has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature,
and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and
provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in vain
things, and be ungrateful for Allah=92s favours?=94 [Qur=92an 16:72]

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