Liver Biopsy
Bill & Tina DeNeef
When I was at my derm last week, he told me it was time to have a liver
biopsy done as I was past the 1000 mg level of Methotrexate. Can anyone
tell me what to expect? My derm does not do this himself, he has
referred me to a specialist who will do this in day sugery of the local
hospital. My appt with the specialist is not until April 27th and then
probably 6 weeks to wait to get into the hospital.
Can anyone give my any info so I don't have to "wonder" until April
Thanks
Tina
Tedbendix
>When I was at my derm last week, he told me it was time to have a liver
>biopsy done as I was past the 1000 mg level of Methotrexate. Can anyone
>tell me what to expect?
>
Okay, but first you must promise to turn up...
Mark Birtles
>When I was at my derm last week, he told me it was time to have a liver
>biopsy done as I was past the 1000 mg level of Methotrexate. Can anyone
>tell me what to expect? My derm does not do this himself, he has
>referred me to a specialist who will do this in day sugery of the local
>hospital. My appt with the specialist is not until April 27th and then
>probably 6 weeks to wait to get into the hospital.
>Can anyone give my any info so I don't have to "wonder" until April
>
>Thanks
>Tina
Wonder no longer, Tina. I shall put your mind at rest.
Do not worry, modern medical methods mean that the procedure is not
the agonising, gore-splattered, casual butchery it was once. Although
you probably wouldn't want to take it up as a hobby, today's method
turns the whole experience into a fun day out.
First, you will be greeted in the waiting room by Ygor, a cackling
hunchbacked dwarf. He is an obsequious, dribbling oaf, but you can
rest easy that he has been highly trained in low cunning. Fawning and
loping, Ygor will take you by the hand and lead you down damp,
lichen-covered stone steps into a subterranean cavern.
You will notice a huge marble slab set on a corinthian plinth in the
centre of the room. Seated restlessly in a circle around the slab will
be the audience, a ragbag collection of medical students, journalists,
close friends of the nurses, abbatoir-workers and Bob and Sally from
Des Moines who won a competition. A girl in spangly tights and a
pill-box hat will be selling popcorn. As soon as the crowd sees you,
the hum of conversation and intermittent yelping will die away and
Ygor will guide you to the slab in silence.
Suddenly, the procedure begins: with a speed that belies his twisted,
frog-like stature, Ygor will leap upon you, rip off your clothes with
his pointy teeth, and hurl you, spreadeagled, on to the marble slab.
Each of your limbs will be tethered to a corner of the slab with
massive iron chains, for it is vital you remain still throughout. No
medication can be given, for it may contaminate the liver, so Ygor
will provide you with a stout wooden baton to clench between your
teeth in case of intense pain.
The preparations complete, Ygor retreats backwards into the crowd,
bowing and gibbering like the professional retard he is. The
atmosphere will grow tense. After what seems like an eternity, the
iron door will crash open, the room will be rent in twain by forked,
sulphurous lightning and a deafening clap of thunder will shake the
walls. The crowd will gasp, for it will be he, the doctor, in his
black frock-coat and swirling velvet cape, clutching his human-hide
bag, making his entrance.
Magnificently imposing, the doctor, twirling his waxed moustache, will
stride to your slab. "Now then, my pretty," he will hiss, "You are in
my power! Bwahahahahahah!" With a gesture, he will snap open his bag
and remove a bulging pouch. Theatrically, he will turn to the crowd
and hoist the pouch aloft. "See!" he will cry, "Behold! The Gnawer of
Organs!" "Ooooooh!" the crowd will reply, their eyes wide in wonder.
The doctor will reach into the pouch and remove Norman, the surgical
hamster. Norman's little eyes will be glittering and his legs will be
beating the air. Carefully, the doctor will place Norman on your
stomach. His feet will feel hard and cold on your flesh and you will
notice two long, sharp teeth glinting in the flickering torchlight.
The doctor will stand back and let the tension build. Suddenly, he
will bark the single command, "FETCH!" and Norman will go to work,
gnawing through your body. Blood and small shreds of tissue and muscle
will spray into the air in a fine red mist. The crowd will go wild,
screaming encouragement and whooping with delight. "Offal, offal,
offal!" they will chant. Soon, Norman's furry little backside will
vanish into your body-cavity and the crowd will grow silent again.
Inside you, Norman will be navigating with the help of a little
fold-out map and he will eventually reach your liver. Scraping off a
thin liver sliver with his teeth, he will carefully place it into a
tiny rucksack strapped to his belly. Then, having carved his initials
on to your kidney for posterity, he will begin his journey back. As
his head reappears from the gaping hole in your stomach, thunderous
applause will break out. Grinning, the doctor will step forward and
reclaim Norman and his bloody prize. "Ygor!" he will snap, "The
wound!" Ygor will limp up to you and roughly slap a filthy compound
of mud and straw on to your stomach, sealing the hole. The audience
will be unable to contain themselves: Bob and Sally will be standing
on their chairs, holding whirring camcorders and yelling their
appreciation.
With a final swirl of his cape, the doctor will spin on his heels and,
as thunder cracks once more, he will stride away, cuffing Ygor as he
passes. The procedure is complete.
With a grunt, Ygor will throw you over his gnarled shoulder, struggle
back up the stone steps and stagger out through the hospital doors,
where he will drop you, naked and bloody, into the gutter. He will
offer a parting snarl, spit on your head for luck and vanish back into
the bowels of the clinic.
So there you have it. At least, this is the procedure in Britain if
you avail yourself of the outstanding National Health Service, so I
expect it will be the same in your fine but doomed country. April need
hold no fear for you.
And to conclude, let me reassure you that a friend of mine had a liver
biopsy a few months ago and it didn't hurt me one little bit.
Be of good cheer.
Zbob2
I had a liver biopsy last November. My derm has me have one every 1,500 mg of
MTX ingested. The derm sent me to a gastroentologist. He said insurance
companies don't pay enough for him to do it anymore - so he sent me to the
hospital (outpatient) and the radiologist did an "ultra-sound guided liver
biopsy." I think this was much safer than the old way (dr doing it right in
the hospital room with just local anastetic). It was not painful since I was
knocked out momentarily for the biopsy. Spent another 2 hours in recovery and
went home. I had it done on a Thursday so I could take it easy before
returning to work on Monday. The only thing I found uncomfortable was a
"belly laugh" for a few days!
Zandra
Zandra Edelstein
Pierre
>When I was at my derm last week, he told me it was time to have a liver
>biopsy done as I was past the 1000 mg level of Methotrexate. Can anyone
>tell me what to expect? My derm does not do this himself, he has
>referred me to a specialist who will do this in day sugery of the local
>hospital. My appt with the specialist is not until April 27th and then
>probably 6 weeks to wait to get into the hospital.
>Can anyone give my any info so I don't have to "wonder" until April
>
>Thanks
>Tina
HI my name is Pierre living in Montreal
So far I had two liver biopsy the first one did not feel it to much
but the second one it was a little bit painful but very torelable
and now I am just making a regular blood test every 2 to 3 months
I do not want anymore liver biopsy not because is painful but I find
it for myself stressfull. I am on "MTX" for almost 7 years now and I
think that the only alternative for me because I have to much P
covering my body. And I know there are some clinical research on
a product name HU1124. But feeling scare to be a guinea-pig
So good luck with it and be free to let me know how it was if you feel
for it.
Have a good day :-)
JRStern
On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 11:54:55 GMT, ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk (Mark
Birtles) wrote:
>And to conclude, let me reassure you that a friend of mine had a liver
>biopsy a few months ago and it didn't hurt me one little bit.
Then, what did?
J.
Fenris
Ah, Birtles, welcome back! I was afraid we had seen the last of the Dylan
Thomas of Psoriasis. =)
Be well,
Terry
--
Legitimate e-mailers (not spammers) should remove the "spam.sucks" and replace it with "azstarnet" in my address.
Harrison
The remedy, of course, is prawn butties . . .
Do you share them with the cats, Mark?
Mark Birtles wrote in message <34f23899...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 12:35:10 -0700, tto...@spamsucks.com (Fenris)
>wrote:
>
>>Ah, Birtles, welcome back! I was afraid we had seen the last of the Dylan
>>Thomas of Psoriasis. =)
>>
>>Be well,
>>Terry
>
>Ooh, Terry, you're looking wan. Are you sure you're eating properly?
>
>
Bill & Tina DeNeef
Thanks for the "uplifting" response Mark. I had stomache pains from
laughing so hard :)
Tina
Harrison
No, no no, Birtles, you've got it all wrong.
It's 'slat', not 'salt'. Rolling naked through slat. Old alumin(i)um
venetian blinds, doncha see.
It's not fun, but the slat welts interrupt the scale formation. It's all
very scientific.
What we propose to use the salt for is to feed to the walruses (walri? . . .
don't anybody dast correct me!)(. . . is there an emoticon for a petulant
foot-stamp?) to make them salivate for collection. That's the fun part.
Especially the feeding it to them . . . and of course the getting away with
the goods afterward.
One of our recently departed number tried the other method: enticing the
walrus to lick the salt off, thereby applying a nice coat of saliva. He/She
was unsuccessful (I say 'he/she' because after the attempt we couldn't tell
which the poor soul had been).
If that doesn't work, we'll just have to go see what's been posted on
alt.walrus.saliva.collection for some new ideas.
Mark Birtles wrote in message <34f2352f...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>On 24 Feb 1998 00:56:26 GMT, jcast...@aol.com (JCaste1863) wrote:
>>
>>He's baaaaaaack...Come here you darling...hug, hug...kiss, kiss.
>>
>>Jayne
>
>How unseemly. Control yourself, Madam. At least until the others tramp
>off to another thread to discuss the merits of coating themselves with
>walrus saliva and rolling naked through salt. Then I'll give you the
>little gift I picked up in alt.bizarre.batteries.included.
>
Maybeline
Harrison wrote in message <6ctiv1$3i4$1...@gte2.gte.net>...
>The remedy, of course, is prawn butties . . .
>Do you share them with the cats, Mark?
Lick Harrison,
Make sure you clean your butties, so that when Mark Brittles is ready to
put the pipe through your behind for anema treatment you will be ready
to groan and moan for the refreshing cleanser. Do your homework Lick,
don't you forget.
Maybeline
Mark Birtles wrote in message <34f238cd...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>On Tue, 24 Feb 1998 00:49:50 GMT, cass...@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Steve
>Cassidy") wrote:
>By the way, while I've got you here, did I dream it, or did I read in
>an older thread that you sometimes have difficulty getting women to
>have sex because you're (and I quote), "too sexually successful".
Well Mark Brittles is the master here. So show him the way. I think Tina
is laughing so hard that she's ready to volunteer. I can almost hear the
moist dripping already between the legs. Did I say dripping between the
legs? Now make it quick and dirty. The insert must be like the "Paula
Jones" testimony. The hot rod must be inserted for only 5 sexond. Did
you get that Steve? 5 sexond no more, no less.
>This is a bit of a snorter, isn't it? A Moebius strip of a dilemma; a
Wrong Brittles, he slurp not snort. That's what makes her quivers.
Kati Ireland
Mark Birtles wrote in message <34f2352f...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>On 24 Feb 1998 00:56:26 GMT, jcast...@aol.com (JCaste1863) wrote:
>>He's baaaaaaack...Come here you darling...hug, hug...kiss, kiss.
>How unseemly. Control yourself, Madam. At least until the others tramp
>off to another thread to discuss the merits of coating themselves with
>walrus saliva and rolling naked through salt. Then I'll give you the
>little gift I picked up in alt.bizarre.batteries.included.
No time to stop now master Brittles, she must have it now. Did I say
now? Or did I say spreadeagled-ready?
Lady Andy2
I don't care what the stuffy odd types call me, I'm a fan...
love your stuff, Mark Birtles! We missed you around
here. (and no, I'm not a Brit, either <G>)
LadyAndy2
Steve Cassidy
In article <34f16131...@news.demon.co.uk>,
ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk (Mark Birtles) wrote:
> At least, this is the procedure in Britain if
> you avail yourself of the outstanding National Health Service
If you have it done privately, they shave the hamster, and the doctors
have matching lumberjack moustaches. At least, they *said* it was a
biopsy...
JCaste1863
>the procedure is not
>the agonising, gore-splattered, casual butchery it was once.
>with a speed that belies his twisted,
>frog-like stature, Ygor will leap upon you, rip off your clothes with
>his pointy teeth, and hurl you, spreadeagled, on to the marble slab.
>the doctor, in his
>black frock-coat and swirling velvet cape, clutching his human-hide
>bag, making his entrance.
>Behold! The Gnawer of
>Organs!"
> Norman, the surgical
>hamster.
> Blood and small shreds of tissue and muscle
>will spray into the air in a fine red mist. The crowd will go wild,
>screaming encouragement and whooping with delight. "Offal, offal,
>offal!" they will chant.
>where he will drop you, naked and bloody, into the gutter. He will
>offer a parting snarl, spit on your head for luck and vanish back into
>the bowels of the clinic.
>a friend of mine had a liver
>biopsy a few months ago and it didn't hurt me one little bit.
>
>
He's baaaaaaack...Come here you darling...hug, hug...kiss, kiss.
Jayne
Mark Birtles
Mark Birtles
>
>Jayne
How unseemly. Control yourself, Madam. At least until the others tramp
Mark Birtles
>If you have it done privately, they shave the hamster, and the doctors
>have matching lumberjack moustaches. At least, they *said* it was a
>biopsy...
What sort of clubs did you say you frequented? Hmm.
By the way, while I've got you here, did I dream it, or did I read in
an older thread that you sometimes have difficulty getting women to
have sex because you're (and I quote), "too sexually successful".
This is a bit of a snorter, isn't it? A Moebius strip of a dilemma; a
solid gold chin-stroker; a three spliff problem; a riddle wrapped in
an enigma shrouded in mystery smothered with noodles served up with
sauerkraut tossed in the dustbin lost to oblivion.
You poor thing. We share the same timezone but you're off in a
different dimension, where all the clouds are fluffy and everyone has
a balloon tied to their wrists. Bless you.
JonnyBGod2
>Subject: Liver Biopsy? A Piece of Cake!
>From: ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk (Mark Birtles)
OK, you low life/no life Brittles' fans give the "demon" a hand while he
inspect and molest Jayne lying spreadeagle, humming, moaning, screaming for
more. And the next in line is LadyAndy, already wet between her legs pacing
uncontrollably, waiting for Mark's Golden hands... oh boy... who is next?
Fenris make sure you modified your strict diet so that when your turn is up for
Mark's inspection make sure you have enough milk left to shoot right into his
face. Come on gals/guys get your mounds and pricks hard and pumping... Give him
all you've got. Make sure you clean up after yourself or your pets and/or kids
might accidentally lick the juices. You never know they might like it.
When all is said and done... may our psoriasis recede to 100% clear.
Mark Birtles
Thank God. There was always a chance that I'd be accused of turning
you into a dwarfophobe. Hope your entrail-raking is all you hope it
will be.
Mark Birtles
On 24 Feb 1998 04:39:58 GMT, jonny...@aol.com (JonnyBGod2) wrote:
Never mind.
Come on out, let's see you.
You just don't get it, do you? You sure as hell can't do it.
Don't mess with me, sonny boy. I'll have you for breakfast.
Scpeck
In article <34F0FD...@bc.sympatico.ca>, Bill & Tina DeNeef
<bill&tina_...@bc.sympatico.ca> writes:
>
When I was at my derm last week, he told me it was time to have a
liver biopsy done as I was past the 1000 mg level of Methotrexate. Can
anyone tell me what to expect? My derm does not do this himself, he
has referred me to a specialist who will do this in day sugery of the
local hospital. My appt with the specialist is not until April 27th and
then probably 6 weeks to wait to get into the hospital.
Can anyone give my any info so I don't have to "wonder" until April
Thanks
Tina
<
Dear Tina,
I have had 2 liver biopsies. The first I was under general anesthesia because
I was having other surgery at the same time so I did not feel a thing the first
time. The second time was another story! Went to gastroenterologist who sent
me to hospital, as an out-patient, and then a radiologist did the actual
biopsy. The only "prep" was a hospital gown and an IV bottle. The room was
darkened and the radiologist had his ultra-sound equipment set up. He ran the
scanner over part of my torso...using a "cooling" gel to get good traction, I
guess, looking for my liver. When he found it, he made some marks on me. The
next part I didn't like at all. It was a shot to quote make the biopsy
pain-free unquote. HA! The needle was a foot long...I accidentally looked.
If I hadn't been already in a prone position, I would have fainted. I had my
right arm over the top of my head and had to leave it there the whole time.
Well, they must have stuck that in me at least three times, each time going a
little bit deeper. I finally, after feeling like a crochet hook had been
jabbed into me, told the radiologist I had changed my mind and that I no longer
wanted to undergo this test. He said that was all well and good, but he was
done!! Hooray. I made it! I lived to tell about it. I then went into the
recovery room, where I had to lay on my right side for 4 hours before going
home. They had bandaged me up like there was no tomorrow.
In retrospect, I would ask if there was any way they could give me an amnesia
drug or something to make me extremely light-headed. ASK!
I didn't write this to scare you...but, it is my true experience.
Suzy in California
Mark Birtles
On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 21:01:32 -0800, "Harrison" <star...@gte.net>
wrote:
>One of our recently departed number tried the other method: enticing the
>walrus to lick the salt off, thereby applying a nice coat of saliva. He/She
>was unsuccessful (I say 'he/she' because after the attempt we couldn't tell
>which the poor soul had been).
>If that doesn't work, we'll just have to go see what's been posted on
>alt.walrus.saliva.collection for some new ideas.
This is very silly. I hope you're aware you are taking up valuable
bandwidth which could otherwise be used for comparing scabs.
And what if a poor, innocent little child, wandering in from the
wilderness and making a high-pitched keening sound, was to read this
and believe that the long lonely nights of itchy angst could be ended
by walrus spit? Irresponsible, I call it.
Just please get it, Harrison,
AND
CLEAN
UP
THAT
SPIT!!!!
(This has been a Public Service Anti-Smugness Announcement)
Kevin Churko
In article <34f25217...@news.demon.co.uk>,
ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk (Mark Birtles) wrote:
> On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 20:53:10 -0800, Bill & Tina DeNeef
> <bill&tina_...@bc.sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
> >Thanks for the "uplifting" response Mark. I had stomache pains from
> >laughing so hard :)
> >
> >Tina
>
> Thank God. There was always a chance that I'd be accused of turning
> you into a dwarfophobe. Hope your entrail-raking is all you hope it
> will be.
Mark Birtles, You made my day!!!!!!
I haven't laughed that hard in years! You're a pleasure to have around.
Kemnay
Kem...@aol.com
Tedbendix
>Mark Birtles, You made my day!!!!!!
>I haven't laughed that hard in years! You're a pleasure to have around.
>Kemnay
>Kem...@aol.com
I agree! His response to my 'More new research' post almost made me wet myself!
Best laugh I've had for ages.
Mark Birtles
>Wrong Brittles, he slurp not snort. That's what makes her quivers.
>
At last your true identity is revealed, you revolting harridan!
You are Gollum and I claim my reward! Now go and snivel elsewhere.
Mark Birtles
>No time to stop now master Brittles, she must have it now. Did I say
>now? Or did I say spreadeagled-ready?
>
O dear, sorry, folks. I've only been back five minutes and the place
is thick with slobbering monsters. I'm going to get blamed for all
this, aren't I?
(sigh)
JonnyBGod2
>On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 20:53:10 -0800, Bill & Tina DeNeef
><bill&tina_...@bc.sympatico.ca> wrote:
>>Thanks for the "uplifting" response Mark. I had stomache pains from
>>laughing so hard :)
>you into a dwarfophobe. Hope your entrail-raking is all you hope it
>will be.
Don't thank God, Brittles, it's the "DEMON" you are supposed to praise. So far
you are doing a good job. Was it the salt that made her "uplift" her mound
while you put salt in your tongue and lick between the crack? Make sure Steve
take note on this new lecture, he'll need it to qualify for being labeled as
"too sexually successful".
JonnyBGod2
In article <34f2352f...@news.demon.co.uk>, ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk
(Mark Birtles) writes:
>On 24 Feb 1998 00:56:26 GMT, jcast...@aol.com (JCaste1863) wrote:
>>He's baaaaaaack...Come here you darling...hug, hug...kiss, kiss.
>
>off to another thread to discuss the merits of coating themselves with
>walrus saliva and rolling naked through salt. Then I'll give you the
>little gift I picked up in alt.bizarre.batteries.included.
Brittles, the dildo must be electric to give the right amount of power up so
that it will rock her world rather than buzz when used with batteries.
JonnyBGod2
In article <34f254c9...@news.demon.co.uk>, ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk
Sorry, Brittles, I'm taken. She lick me better than anyone I know, with no
visible P on her I don't need breakfast to eat.
Olive Eye
>Re: Liver Biopsy? A Piece of Cake!
>From: ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk (Mark Birtles)
>>
>O dear, sorry, folks. I've only been back five minutes and the place >is thick
with slobbering monsters. I'm going to get blamed for all >this, aren't I?
>
I, for one, am sick and tired of all your dark, cynical, foul-mouthed
diversions from the real purpose of this newsgroup. You're a sad, sick person
desperately in need of some kind of psychiatric help, before you bring this
entire loving, caring, God-fearing newsgroup of psoriasis sufferers down.
Perhaps someone could suggest a support group in England to Mark. I love
everyone in this group and feel that if Mark mocks any one of us, we are all
mocked. I just want you all to know you have my support in trying to upgrade
the quality of the group. I really love all you guys and feel good every day
knowing I have you all as my friends. You can count on me.
Donna2436
>When I was at my derm last week, he told me it was time to have a liver biopsy
Hi ,
Last year I was told I had to have a liver biopsy - not a pleasant
experience but it is a very safe procedure .
They will give you a local anesthesia on your side above the
liver . Then will take a long wire and inject it through to your
liver to take a piece of your liver . They will ask you to hold
your breathe so they can be accurate in their approach
The procedure is quick - it will give you a real quick pinch
and then it is over . It is not so bad - the thought of it is much worse
than the actual procedure .
My experience was slightly different though - just when the
doctor put that long wire in me he started sweating profusly
saying " this is not good - this is not good " - I thought
he was talking about me - then he ran out of the room
and left me on the table with the long wire stuck in my liver -
I was horrifeid ! The nurse then tried to find a different Doctor
to complete the procedure - a different doctor finally came in
to releive me .
It turns out the original doctor had an attack of colitis ( bowel cramps) what
timing !
Oh well I would say - as long as your doctor doesn't have
colitis - It will be a piece of " cake "
good luck !
Dave Wagner
In article <34f29eef...@news.demon.co.uk>,
Mark Birtles <ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>On Mon, 23 Feb 1998 23:08:54 -0800, "Kati Ireland"
><Ire...@pleaseno.com> wrote:
>
>>No time to stop now master Brittles, she must have it now. Did I say
>>now? Or did I say spreadeagled-ready?
>
>is thick with slobbering monsters. I'm going to get blamed for all
>this, aren't I?
>
Worse, Mark, far worse. Not mere monsters, but wannabes. And lame ones.
And yes, you will be.
Cheers,
Dave
--
David Wagner | dgwa...@math.uwaterloo.ca
Department of C & O | http://math.uwaterloo.ca/~dgwagner
University of Waterloo |
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada N2L 3G1 | "Hey, just enough room for a pithy quote!"
Marilyn Monroe
Lady Andy2 wrote in message
<19980224001...@ladder03.news.aol.com>...
>I don't care what the stuffy odd types call me, I'm a fan...
>love your stuff, Mark Birtles! We missed you around
>here. (and no, I'm not a Brit, either <G>)
LadyAndy,
I am terribly disappointed with your decision of supporting posts from
someone that allow a propagation of unproductive and disruptive
comments. Yet, you abhor posts made by Dr. Joe and other Commercial Ads
that are sometimes (not all the time) quite useful to some, if not many,
of us. "Witch" thinking doesn't deserve the name "Lady", in my lowest,
degrading opinion. I apologize, but that is how I see these posts. Yes,
I am a descendant of the British Colony, yet far removed from Mark's
representation of the British people.
I would welcome him once he is reformed.
Marilyn
Carol Miller
HEAR! HEAR!
Carol Miller
Harrison
Maybeline wrote in message <6ctsbu$3rms$4...@newssvr04-int.news.prodigy.com>...
>Harrison wrote in message <6ctiv1$3i4$1...@gte2.gte.net>...
>>The remedy, of course, is prawn butties . . .
>>Do you share them with the cats, Mark?
<snip>
(Chuckle)
Maybeline, you must have missed that thread. You really should look in more
often.
As Birtles has explained, 'butties' are sandwiches, two pieces of buttered
bread with a filling. He's nutso for prawns, hence 'prawn butties'.
Presumably, the buttered sides are inward: he didn't specify.
Personally, I prefer them made with lime mayonnaise (prepare like regular
mayonnaise, but with lime juice instead of lemon juice), not butter. Those
don't have a name yet: perhaps we can call them 'prawn limeys' . . .
- Rick
Lady Andy2
>I am terribly disappointed with your decision of supporting posts from
>someone that allow a propagation of unproductive and disruptive
>comments. Yet, you abhor posts made by Dr. Joe and other Commercial Ads
>that are sometimes (not all the time) quite useful to some, if not many,
>of us.
I am sorry you do not appreciate his humor. Obviously,
that is an individual taste. However, I find his kind of
writing to be refreshing and very enjoyable, which is
a form of support. The topic of his posts is certainly
applicable, although they may provoke comments that
are not. That he gets responses that might not be as
appropriate is not his fault. He is not selling, which is
expressly prohibitted on any support newsgroup.
I gave pointers to Dr. Bark's site for those interested,
and even mentioned a chat he was having. For myself,
I did not find his attitude to be helpful or supportive,
but that doesn't mean I don't want him here. He's
welcome to post, as long as he doesn't sell, just like
anybody. I even sent him a personal apology and
invitation to return, which he never bothered to
acknowlege.
If you are looking for ad's, there are lots and lots of
places to find them. I shall still do my part in keeping
them off this newsgroup.
As to calling names, please notice that I don't do that.
I consider myself a lady at all times, including in
"real life". If you choose not to believe that, that is
your decision.
Now I sincerely hope Mr. Brittles will continue to
post. If he feels like it, he could put a warning on
the subject line, something like "from Brittles"
perhaps? But of course, that would be his choice.
Maybe if you asked him nicely he would consider
doing that as a service to you, so you could avoid
his comments.
LadyAndy2
John Gotti
Maybeline wrote in message
<6ctsbt$3rms$3...@newssvr04-int.news.prodigy.com>...
>
>Mark Birtles wrote in message <34f238cd...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>>On Tue, 24 Feb 1998 00:49:50 GMT, cass...@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Steve
>>Cassidy") wrote:
>>By the way, while I've got you here, did I dream it, or did I read in
>>an older thread that you sometimes have difficulty getting women to
>>have sex because you're (and I quote), "too sexually successful".
>
>
Tina
>is laughing so hard that she's ready to volunteer. I can almost hear
the
>moist dripping already between the legs. Did I say dripping between the
>legs? Now make it quick and dirty. The insert must be like the "Paula
>Jones" testimony. The hot rod must be inserted for only 5 sexond. Did
>you get that Steve? 5 sexond no more, no less.
>
>>This is a bit of a snorter, isn't it? A Moebius strip of a dilemma; a
>
Maybeline,
What are you doing? Have you done these tricks before? Oh man, look like
this place is turning into a brothel newsgroup. Fire up!!! No turning
back on our psoriasis.
John Gotti
Maybeline wrote in message
<6ctsbu$3rms$4...@newssvr04-int.news.prodigy.com>...
>Harrison wrote in message <6ctiv1$3i4$1...@gte2.gte.net>...
>>The remedy, of course, is prawn butties . . .
>>Do you share them with the cats, Mark?
>
>Make sure you clean your butties, so that when Mark Brittles is ready
to
>put the pipe through your behind for anema treatment you will be ready
>to groan and moan for the refreshing cleanser. Do your homework Lick,
>don't you forget.
>
Oh man, Rick, you must be as horny as hell. How does it feel like
getting the hose under your butt's orifice???
Harrison
Don't talk to *me* about it, John.
I'm in the *Off-The-Wall* Humo(u)r Department. You want the guys across the
hall in *Scatological* . . .
- Rick
John Gotti wrote in message <6cvf3e$r...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>...
Harrison
. . . and BTW, get 'em to turn on some lights in there, willya? It's always
dark in that office.
Come to think of it, it's dark in Scatological whether the lights are on or
not.
I know! They represent the Dark Side Of The Farce!
(. . . slams the office door and mutters to himself, "Got to get that pun
filter installed . . .". Picks up a phone, dials, (pause), "Hello, Acme? I'd
like to order a . . . "
[fade to black]
[roll commercials]
Mark S Adam
Olive Eye wrote:
>
> >Re: Liver Biopsy? A Piece of Cake!
> >From: ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk (Mark Birtles)
> >>
> with slobbering monsters. I'm going to get blamed for all >this, aren't I?
> >
>
> diversions from the real purpose of this newsgroup.
To make people feel better?
> You're a sad, sick person desperately in need of some kind of
> psychiatric help
Actually he's more of a happy sick person desperately in need of help.
> before you bring this entire loving, caring, God-fearing newsgroup of
> psoriasis sufferers down.
Hang on there Mother Theresa... Since when has fear of some delusional
billion-odd lunatic's creation been a prerequisite for being a flaker?
I laught at your god: HA! See? Here, I'll do it again: HA!
> Perhaps someone could suggest a support group in England to Mark.
SFELA: Society For the Emanicpation of the Literarily Adept!
> I love everyone in this group
Is this a parental thing or are you actually offering to service me?
> and feel that if Mark mocks any one of us, we are all mocked.
And if you mock Mark then your Mark mocks have a stock lock on pure
schlock. <THUD>
> I just want you all to know you have my support in trying to upgrade
> the quality of the group.
Here here!!! No more fun. More easily offended god-fear-mongers.
> I really love all you guys
Wait a minute... there are other guys? Moooooother!!!!
> and feel good every day knowing I have you all as my friends.
You got that from todays Barney show didn't you?
> You can count on me.
<hands over the eyes> One Two Three <remove hands> Damn! Still there.
--
mark----------------
Consultant specializing in: Stratus VOS, PC DOS and Windows
Application Fields: Financial, Database, Y2K, Real-time
ad...@world.std.com <=== Use this for all mail, including responses.
Harrison
Mark Birtles wrote in message <34f25b32...@news.demon.co.uk>...
"Yeth, Thir! Right away, Thir! I'll get a mop."
As Igor moves clump-drag, clump-drag toward the door, Professor Birtles
thinks, "The mess! Walrus spit and old venetian blinds all over the
laBORatory floor, bags of rock salt . . . I really must get some better
household help. And why is he all of a sudden talking like Daffy Duck???"
As he reaches the door, Igor turns and snarls, "It could be worse. It could
be raining!"
As Igor leaves to get the mop it begins to rain in the laboratory . . . The
good Professor thinks, "Sheesh! Now he's doing Marty Feldmann lines from Mel
Brooks' "Young Frankenstein", special effects and all! I shall dismiss his
deformed little carcass first thing in the morning -- *after* he gets this
mess cleaned up!"
[fade to black]
[roll Public Service Announcements]
. . .
>(This has been a Public Service Anti-Smugness Announcement)
It suddenly dawns on Yr Fthful Amurrican Correspondent here what the problem
is. He thinks, "It's because I drive a diesel car! They don't have any smug
control equipment! . . .I'll have to get some installed immediately . . .
maybe also a pun filter . . . Naaah!"
- Rick
Olive Eye
>From: "Marilyn Monroe" <mar...@nomail.com>
>Date: Tue, Feb 24, 1998 13:48 EST
>Yes,>I am a descendant of the British Colony, yet far removed from
Mark's>representation of the British people.
>
>I would welcome him once he is reformed.
>>Marilyn
Oh Marilyn, you are so, so right. It's about time someone spoke the truths so
many of us good people have been afraid to express. He MUST be reformed! And I
know it's not easy to reform someone. But there is strength in numbers. I'm
sure if we all send Mark our true thoughts and feelings, wrapped in as much
love and understanding as we can give, he will reform. Few can deny the power
of a reformation whose time has come. You can count on me to do my part --
forcefully, but with caring and kindness, as we should afford all of God's
creatures.
I was lost, but now I'm found.
Tara Lipinsky
Mark S Adam wrote in message <34F376...@world.std.com>...
>Actually he's more of a happy sick person desperately in need of help.
Of course Brittles is happy, he just gave head to LadyAndy. And you know
what? She want some more. You might want to give it to her too. Tell us
whether it actually relieve you of your psoriasis. Make sure you drink a
lot of water so that you will not dehydrated from shooting those milk
right through her face.
>Hang on there Mother Theresa... Since when has fear of some delusional
>billion-odd lunatic's creation been a prerequisite for being a flaker?
>
>I laught at your god: HA! See? Here, I'll do it again: HA!
Well you certainly need to follow your demon master right? Your purpose
is give that demonic smile with raging red flush eyelids and raising
eyebrows. Then you say: "LUST, LUST, LUST, give me all you got, let the
juices drip in my mouth... hmmm hhmmm."
>> I really love all you guys
>
>Wait a minute... there are other guys? Moooooother!!!!
No, Mark, please don't do it to your mom too. INCEST is just too much
for a flaker like you. Then again if you wish to follow the words of
Brittles be my guess. Report back when you are done OK?
Tara Lipinsky
Harrison wrote in message <6cvjv3$rk1$1...@gte2.gte.net>...
>"Yeth, Thir! Right away, Thir! I'll get a mop."
You must have been shooting too much of your milk to Brittles' ladies,
huh? OK, get to work for more actions. Make sure you spray some Lysol,
a disinfectant spray, in the room, so that your milk's aroma doesn't
interfere with Brittles' own unique smell.
>As Igor leaves to get the mop it begins to rain in the laboratory . . .
The
>good Professor thinks, "Sheesh! Now he's doing Marty Feldmann lines
from Mel
>Brooks' "Young Frankenstein", special effects and all! I shall dismiss
his
>deformed little carcass first thing in the morning -- *after* he gets
this
>mess cleaned up!"
Oh come on, that is gross, no peeing actions please, too foreign to do
it here in the group. No way, you're going to let the ladies drink the
yellow water. Oh pleaseeee, not the carcass too. Oh shit, LadyAndy will
be first? Well, I'm not gonna peek, no siree. Keep me out, ya hear?!
Steve Cassidy
In article <6cv4nn$4...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>, mar...@nomail.com
(Marilyn Monroe) wrote:
> "Witch" thinking doesn't deserve the name "Lady", in my lowest,
> degrading opinion.
Can you rehash this and have another go? I simply cannot work out what you
mean here.
Steve Cassidy
In article <6cvf3h$r...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>, jgo...@OKnospam.com
(John Gotti) wrote:
> Fire up!!! No turning
> back on our psoriasis.
As I think I have already said, looks to me like the kids are already
here. I can hear the nuclear family types shielding their kids from much
-needed support on the back of postings like these...
Harrison
"Steve Cassidy" wrote in message ...
. . . and then again, Steve, whatever critter styles himself "John (The
Dapper Don) Gotti", is not someone you want having his soldatti knocking on
your door, knocking on your chamber door . . .
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!"
. . . and well he might . . .
Mark Birtles
>
>Worse, Mark, far worse. Not mere monsters, but wannabes. And lame ones.
>And yes, you will be.
>
>Cheers,
>Dave
I have a feeling half of these urchins are the same furtive
self-abuser, crouching in a hovel somewhere, with only a crusty copy
of Playboy, a box of Kleenex and a scratchy Chuck Berry album for
company.
Mark Birtles
On 24 Feb 1998 17:45:59 GMT, oliv...@aol.com (Olive Eye) wrote:
>I, for one, am sick and tired of all your dark, cynical, foul-mouthed
>diversions from the real purpose of this newsgroup. You're a sad, sick person
>desperately in need of some kind of psychiatric help, before you bring this
>entire loving, caring, God-fearing newsgroup of psoriasis sufferers down.
>Perhaps someone could suggest a support group in England to Mark. I love
>everyone in this group and feel that if Mark mocks any one of us, we are all
>mocked. I just want you all to know you have my support in trying to upgrade
>the quality of the group. I really love all you guys and feel good every day
>knowing I have you all as my friends. You can count on me.
>
Shut up, you. Stick to bullying little old ladies and driving them out
of the newsgroup.
>
Mark Birtles
On Tue, 24 Feb 1998 16:40:31 -0500, "John Gotti" <jgo...@OKnospam.com>
wrote:
>Oh man, Rick, you must be as horny as hell. How does it feel like
>getting the hose under your butt's orifice???
>
>
Figlio d'una puttana mafiosa!
I nani mi divertono nel circolo, non ha letto.
Questo pane e piu duro del mio cazzo.
(c) Po-Po 1998
JonnyBGod2
>HEAR! HEAR!
>Carol Miller
Carol, Carol, Carol,
Don't tell me you're you're also waiting in line to be examine by Brittles'
Golden Hands. Make sure you play with your fingers first while sitting in front
of your PC. You need to stretch them wide enough, perhaps enough to fit your
hole hand. Did I say whole hand? OK, at least 3 fingers would be acceptable...
Now make sure you're moist enough before proceeding... Feeling good already?
Let us know how your P. goes after the check up with Brittles OK?
Carol Miller
Who needs Birtles when I have you? In fact why pay extra for porn?
You've missed your vocation.
C
Mark Birtles
On Wed, 25 Feb 1998 16:56:05 -0500, hi...@webtv.net (Carol Miller)
wrote:
>Who needs Birtles when I have you? In fact why pay extra for porn?
>You've missed your vocation.
>C
You pay extra?
Steve Cassidy
In article <34f45873...@news.demon.co.uk>,
ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk (Mark Birtles) wrote:
> and a scratchy Chuck Berry album for
> company.
Indeed. I expect to hear from ridin_along_in...@aol.com any
minute now...
Steve Cassidy
> having his soldatti knocking on
> your door
Nah mate, not a problem. Between the Irish connection, the part-time hobby
and being in tight with a certain Mr Ingely of North Hollywood (starring
in a spam about Pam & Tommy in a newsgroup near you today...), I am
remarkably relaxed about sicilians.
(At least, I guess it *is* Mr Ingely whose Pam n Tommy materiel it is I'm
seeing everywhere...)
Olive Eye
>From: ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk
newsgroup.
Il pleut dans mon couer, comme il pleut sur la ville...
quelle est ce langeur qui penetre mon couer?
--Rambeau
Christ died for your sins. Dare we make his martyrdom
meaningless by not comitting them?
--Jules
Feiffer
"So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good: so far as we
do evil or good, we are human: and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do
evil than to do nothing: at least we exist."
--T.S.Eliot
Mark Birtles
On Tue, 24 Feb 1998 13:06:18 -0800, "Harrison" <star...@gte.net>
wrote:
>Presumably, the buttered sides are inward: he didn't specify.
You only butter the outside if you're on a diet, whereupon the entire
edible edifice slithers from your grasp before it reaches your mouth.
Tedbendix
In article <6cv4nn$4...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>, "Marilyn Monroe"
<mar...@nomail.com> writes:
>I am a descendant of the British Colony, yet far removed from Mark's
>representation of the British people.
>
>I would welcome him once he is reformed.
>
>Marilyn
>
>
As far as I can see, the British come across as witty, literate and
intelligent. Maybe you're right to distance yourself from that.
JonnyBGod2
In article <19980226121...@ladder03.news.aol.com>, tedb...@aol.com
(Tedbendix) writes:
>As far as I can see, the British come across as witty, literate and
>intelligent. Maybe you're right to distance yourself from that.
If you can't read/write in American language, go back to where you came from!
Back to Divided Kingdom? Why of course, don'tcha come back until ya learn a how
to talk like us ameericann.
Mark Birtles
On 24 Feb 1998 21:11:31 GMT, lady...@aol.com (Lady Andy2) wrote:
> He is not selling, which is
>expressly prohibitted on any support newsgroup.
A few copies remain of the seminal 1986 publication 'Hooligan Heart',
written in fresh blood and bound in the flesh of newly-slaughtered
virgins. A rare collectors' item: only £4.50 or $9873459.03.
What the critics said:
'The random pulse of a bowel'
- New Age International
'Pardon?'
- Deaf Monthly
'Elegant, alert, contemporary'
- Hooligan Heart 2
Mark Birtles
On 25 Feb 1998 23:51:44 GMT, oliv...@aol.com (Olive Eye) wrote:
>Il pleut dans mon couer, comme il pleut sur la ville...
>quelle est ce langeur qui penetre mon couer?
>
> --Rambeau
>
>Christ died for your sins. Dare we make his martyrdom
>meaningless by not comitting them?
> --Jules
>Feiffer
>
>"So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good: so far as we
>do evil or good, we are human: and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do
>evil than to do nothing: at least we exist."
>
> --T.S.Eliot
'Aye, fat lad, tha can use tha fancy words, but in th'end, tha's just
a big twat'
--Blimey O'Reilly
>
>
Fdgfobrain
>A few copies remain of the seminal 1986 publication 'Hooligan Heart',
>written in fresh blood and bound in the flesh of newly-slaughtered
>virgins. A rare collectors' item: only £4.50 or $9873459.03.
lenthy irrelevant quote omitted
I have a feeling half of these urchins are the same furtive
self-abuser, crouching in a hovel somewhere, with only a crusty copy
of Playboy, a box of Kleenex and a scratchy Chuck Berry album for
company.
Mark, are you getting dark and sinister after the the cute prawn butties stuff
now?
"I use old McDonald's napkins that I chucked in the backseat while driving in
rush hour" ---- Baba O'Reilly
Belvet
In article <34f45a21...@news.demon.co.uk>,
ma...@markbirtles.demon.co.uk says...
> On Tue, 24 Feb 1998 16:40:31 -0500, "John Gotti" <jgo...@OKnospam.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Oh man, Rick, you must be as horny as hell. How does it feel like
> >getting the hose under your butt's orifice???
> >
> >
> Figlio d'una puttana mafiosa!
Non esiste una puttana mafiosa. La mafia non permette a nessuna donna
mafiosa di essere una puttana. Ti sei bevuto il cervello. Non sparare
cazzate.
Oscar from Italy
penny and david syber
Fenris wrote:
>
> Ah, Birtles, welcome back! I was afraid we had seen the last of the Dylan
> Thomas of Psoriasis. =)
snip
> --
surely you mean "the Terry Pratchett off the scale"
<vbg> David
--
"Free books to preachers will be like free booze to politicians; they'll
scoop the lot, without regard for quality. You mark my words."
from
Tempest - Tost
Robertson Davies 1951
AM
Hi, Tina!!!
My dermatologist says that liver biopsies are no longer warranted for
MTX treatment if there isn't anything special, e.g. like a history of
alcohol abuse, liver disease etc, or that the blood tests show problems.
In the arthritis newsgroup we're a looooot of people on it. Most of them
have got the same message as me. The doc's in the group also say this.
I had some abstracts about this, but seem to have lost them. I have
posted in the arthritis group, hoping that somebody else kept them...
I'll post them if I get them, so that you can get the articles if you
want to...
--
Best regards / Med vennlig hilsen,
Aase Marit :))))))) ("Aw-Se-Mareet" from Norway)
http://w1.2380.telia.com/~u238000263/flaker/docs/index.html
Zbob2
>Subject: Re: Liver Biopsy
>From: fla...@va.telia.no (AM)
>My dermatologist says that liver biopsies are no longer >warranted for MTX
treatment if there isn't anything special, e.g. >like a history of alcohol
abuse, liver disease etc, or that the blood >tests show problems.
I have heard and read the same thing (being on MTX myself). However, my derm
still says the biopsy will show things that can't be totally detected by the
bloodwork. Go figure.
Zandra Edelstein