death and the maiden - no spoiler
Static555
the casting was right on the money. Sigourney Weaver was just the right
mixture of sane and wacko. Ben Kingsley was the highlight of this film.
he was innocent, innocent, innocent, and then an insane killer, sort of.
his change of moods was so smooth and perfectly dramatic. the husband was
just sort of there, but he was effective. anyone who likes good movies
should see this
static555
Mike D'Angelo
I would pay a fair amount of money to have these laudatory quotes spoken aloud
in a trailer or TV ad for DEATH AND THE MAIDEN in that ubiquitous portentous
voiceover:
"DEATH AND THE MAIDEN...Janet Maslin of the NEW YORK TIMES says Sigourney
Weaver is 'just the right mixture of sane and wacko'...Roger Ebert gives DEATH
AND THE MAIDEN 'Two thumbs up, way up. Ben Kingsley is innocent, innocent,
innocent, and then an insane killer, sort of!' Andrew Sarris calls Stuart
Wilson 'just sort of there, but...effective!'"
I dunno, maybe it's just me.
Mike D'Angelo
Tisch School of the Arts, NYU
"Down there, I sell whiskey and cards. All you can buy up these stairs is a
bullet in the head. Now which do you want?"
--Joan Crawford as Vienna, JOHNNY GUITAR
John Hwang
Some of the worse ones I seen are:
"Tour de Force!..."
"I laughed out loud!"
"Best <insert type of movie here> of <insert year>!"
"Makes Speed look like a slow ride to grandma's house"
(Or something like that)
"Two thumbs Waaaaaaaaaay up!"
"I loved it!"
"Movie making at its best!"
or any 1 word quotes such as:
"Hilarious!","Spellbinding!","Entertaining",etc...
Gee, since so many reviewers liked the movie, it must be good, right?
The funny thing is that even if the movie is incredibly bad, there is at
least one reviewer who actually liked it and they get their name and
quote in the movie ad.
Bryant Frazer
: I laugh when I see those reviewer quotes accompanying the movie ads.
How about: "Belinda Mathis explodes across the screen!"
Last time I saw someone explode across the screen, I was watching a Peter
Jackson film ...
-bf-
--
Bryant Frazer | "Boot up. Good afternoon. Pause. Oooo.
bfr...@panix.com | I really like the way you talk.
914/631/7155 | Pardon me. Shut down." -- Laurie Anderson
Sean Smith
> Some of the worse ones I seen are:
>
> "Tour de Force!..."
> "I laughed out loud!"
> "Best <insert type of movie here> of <insert year>!"
> "Makes Speed look like a slow ride to grandma's house"
> (Or something like that)
> "Two thumbs Waaaaaaaaaay up!"
> "I loved it!"
> "Movie making at its best!"
> or any 1 word quotes such as:
> "Hilarious!","Spellbinding!","Entertaining",etc...
Then there are the reviewers who dredge up the same tired phrases because
they fit a movie's particular genre. Sports movies seem to suffer this
treatment the most:
"Hits a home run!"
"Scores a touchdown!"
"A real knock-out!"
I don't know if they still run it, but Spy magazine used to have an amusing
little feature called "Walter Monheit's Blurb-O-Mat." It was hyped-up
capsule reviews of forthcoming movies, all in classic publicist-speak. The
joke was, of course, that most of the films mentioned were unlikely to
garner much in the way of critical acclaim, award nominations or box office
success. For example:
THE HOT SPOT--starring Don Johnson, Virginia Madsen
"Yes, Virginia, there is an Oscar, and ooooff! has he got the hots for
you!"
smt...@bcvms.bc.edu
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"The Proper Way to leave a Room
Is not to Plunge it into Gloom
Just Make a Joke before you Go
And then Escape before They Know."
--Gelett Burgess
FREE Bonus .sig:
Is it really all that easy to fall off a log?
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Atreyu
Oregon's Register-Guard newspaper for *Predator II*. Those of you
who have not seen *Predator II* will probably not understand the full
impact of the hilarity of this review, which had me rolling on the
floor when it was given to me by a local comic-shoppe dealer.
I won't republish the review (copyright reasons, don't have it!) but I
can paraphrase and you'll get the idea.
"I really didn't like this movie at all. It was very bad. In the
middle of it, it turns out that the Predator (once thought to be an
alien in the first film) is actually a Colombian drug dealer who is
wearing a costume. He is linked to an ancient Voodoo god with whom
he made a pact while riding on a banana-boat to America (the Predator
is the same creature as in the original film). The climax to the
movie takes place in Hell itself and is laughable."
I swear to this day that the reviewer must have been on some kind of
hallucinogenic drug. He said all of those things and much, much more.
The worst review I ever read - there it is.
z_vau...@titan.sfasu.edu
Amen! I will only adhere to a critic's quote if A) the critic is noteable
(Roger Ebert, the only critic to win the pulitzer prize), B) any critic from the
New York Times, Chicago Tribune C) Peter Travers (Rolling Stone), D) Owen
Gleiberman (8/10 times), E) Mike Clark - USA Today, F) if I have already read the
review the quote is derrived from and I know its not a segmented quote.
Example: Here is something the critic would write in his/her publication:
" 'Body of Evidence' is a poor excuse for an engaging thriller."
Here is what the promoters of the film will condense the quote to say:
"...an engaging thriller."
This is not really speculation, I've seen it before. Some critics like Jeff
Craig (60 second preview) will always seem to have his quote stuck on some sorry
movie before anyone else has even seen the film - even other critics. I believe
that it is possible that some critics are quoted incorrectly and don't do
anything about it.
Some people say that they don't care what a critic has to say. I do, for some
perverse reason. I think it's because I like to hear a point of view from
someone who really knows movies - a scholar of cinema if you will.
I do highly recommend, for those of you out there who have little patience for
the critics, to give 'em a chance. You don't have to agree, but it's good to
expose yourself to a broad range of views and criticisms. To critique is
actually an artform, not some old cynic blowing steam.
Ben Hoffman
John Hwang
JH> Gee, since so many reviewers liked the movie, it must be good, right?
JH>The funny thing is that even if the movie is incredibly bad, there is at
JH>least one reviewer who actually liked it and they get their name and
JH>quote in the movie ad.
I know one "reviewer" who doesn't even see the film but
knocks one great blurb after another. The PR agencies that use his
hyperbolic spoutings are well aware but use them nevertheless.
The trick in giving credence to the blurb is to see who said
it. A PR agency wanted to use a phrase from my review of Forrest
Gump but the advertising dept turned it down because they did not
know exactly how to sell Gump and decided to skip me and go with
the well known reviewers. Considering how the box office turned out
I guess it was a wise move . . . even if I was disappointed that
they changed their minds about using my phrase.
Harold Wexler
>Amen! I will only adhere to a critic's quote if A) the critic is noteable
>(Roger Ebert, the only critic to win the pulitzer prize), B) any critic from the
>New York Times, Chicago Tribune C) Peter Travers (Rolling Stone), D) Owen
>Gleiberman (8/10 times), E) Mike Clark - USA Today, F) if I have already read the
>review the quote is derrived from and I know its not a segmented quote.
Your list is very similar to mine. I have some reservations about
Peter Travers, however. I think he's a good critic, and I often
agree with him, but he succumbs too frequently to blurb-o-matic
in his writing style, tossing out plenty of isolated statements
tailor-made for ad copy. In fact, he has a disconcerting habit of
allowing quotes from his reviews to be used in advertising before
they even appear in _Rolling Stone_, not usually considered good
critical practice.
Still, better him than the dreaded Jeffrey Lyons. How many times
a year does he get quoted as saying a movie is "a sure bet for my
top 10 list!"? I usually stop counting after the first seventy.
Another fun thing to do is go to your nearest movie section and
count the four-star reviews by Jeff Craig. What the hell IS Sixty
Second Preview, anyway?
Harold Wexler
Northwestern University, Evanston, IL. USA
hwe...@lulu.acns.nwu.edu
Jennifer Barber
ben.h...@bcsbbs.com (Ben Hoffman) writes:
> The trick in giving credence to the blurb is to see who said
> it. A PR agency wanted to use a phrase from my review of Forrest
> Gump but the advertising dept turned it down because they did not
> know exactly how to sell Gump and decided to skip me and go with
> the well known reviewers. Considering how the box office turned out
> I guess it was a wise move . . . even if I was disappointed that
> they changed their minds about using my phrase.
Of course, one of the quotes they used was from Eleanor Ringle (Atlanta
Journal-Constitution), who *hated* Forrest Gump! I believe she made
them withdraw the quote from their ads, but I'm not sure.
SCOTTHOL
: Example: Here is something the critic would write in his/her publication:
: " 'Body of Evidence' is a poor excuse for an engaging thriller."
: Here is what the promoters of the film will condense the quote to say:
: "...an engaging thriller."
: This is not really speculation, I've seen it before.
Of course, to be fair, no critic worth his or her salt should ever write,
"a poor excuse for an engaging thriller". The word "engaging" is out of
place, from a sheer writing standpoint. A poor movie can be a thriller,
but it can only aspire to being an engaging thriller, even an excuse for
one.
By the way, I agree with your perspective on film criticism.
My favorite blurb is for The Air Up There: "The 'Cool Runnings' of
basketball movies!"
Man, it makes me wonder if everyone in Hollywood saw Altman's The
Player--and plumbed the "pitch" scenes for ideas. :-)
Scott Hollifield / sco...@cris.com
----------------------------------------
Alex Fung
>
> Amen! I will only adhere to a critic's quote if A) the critic is noteable
> (Roger Ebert, the only critic to win the pulitzer prize),
I respect Roger Ebert's opinions and writings too, so don't think I'm slamming
him, but I thought this would be a good opportunity to relay a story as told
by a film reviewer on a TV movie show in Canada. He mentioned how he was
sitting in one screening room in front of Ebert, and halfway through the
movie, turned around and saw that Ebert was fast asleep! Well, *I* thought
it was funny anyway.
Don't worry, Roger - it happens to the best of us! (Well, I haven't fallen
asleep in a movie yet, but I'm sure if I saw as many stinkers as he has
to, I would.)
--
Alex Fung (aw...@freenet.carleton.ca) | "...the Lestat vampire character is
supposed to be six foot tall, blonde and gay. So Tom Cruise isn't really
the first person that springs to mind, especially not for the first two
categories anyway." - Harry Roat Jr., from Scarsdale
Mike D'Angelo
>I respect Roger Ebert's opinions and writings too, so don't think I'm slamming
>him, but I thought this would be a good opportunity to relay a story as told
>by a film reviewer on a TV movie show in Canada. He mentioned how he was
>sitting in one screening room in front of Ebert, and halfway through the
>movie, turned around and saw that Ebert was fast asleep! Well, *I* thought
>it was funny anyway.
>
>Don't worry, Roger - it happens to the best of us! (Well, I haven't fallen
>asleep in a movie yet, but I'm sure if I saw as many stinkers as he has
>to, I would.)
It doesn't have to be a stinker--not if you've had no sleep the night before.
I recently went back to see THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE, an excellent film, for
a second time because I dozed through about a thirty-minute section in the
middle due to sheer exhaustion (I should have known better than to go to the
movies that night, really). I was engrossed, but I literally could not keep my
eyes open...and I was trying hard. It happened to me once before, years ago,
at a screening of Paul Cox's VINCENT: THE LIFE AND DEATH OF VINCENT VAN GOGH.
I think in that case the soothing voice of John Hurt was what did it.
Mike D'Angelo
Tisch School of the Arts, NYU
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"Now why don't you take a long, close look at this sign? Those proportions are
correct." -- Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper, JAWS
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