(Story) A Slit In The Wall Day 5 (1,250 words)
Alaric
Copyright Alaric Paul McDermott 2003
"Lo, I will bring a nation upon you from far, O house of Israel, saith the
Lord: it is a mighty nation, it is an ancient nation, a nation whose
language thou knowest not, neither understandest what they say."
Jeremiah 5, Verse 15.
* * *
Day 5
How We Fight
I'm awakened at seven by a hammering on the door. I open it to find Khurram.
It's the first time I've seen him in a jacket and tie. He's holding airline
tickets, which he flaps at me.
"You're on the 9:30 flight," he says. "Get packing."
My first response is pathetic. I interpret a mistake. "I'm here until
Wednesday at least."
"You've worn out your welcome."
"I haven't done anything."
"You have to go."
"Why?"
"You have to go. Peace isn't coming."
"Are you throwing your friends out too? The human shields."
"No."
"I don't understand."
"You don't have to. You just have to go."
"I want to see Jasim."
"That isn't possible."
"Khurram.."
"Martin, I'm sorry."
"You messed things up, didn't you? Was it sleeping with me? Or was it her
brother? Did someone overhear what she said about her brother?"
He sighs. "Leave it alone."
"Mahdi. You told Mahdi something you shouldn't have."
"I'll wait in the lobby," he says.
* * *
"And Babylon shall become heaps, a dwelling place for dragons, an
astonishment, and an hissing, without an inhabitant."
Jeremiah 51, verse 37:
* * *
Khurram summons a taxi. My bags are loaded into it. I refuse to get in with
them, but Khurram calls over a soldier who's idling in the hotel entrance.
Throughout the journey, we sit in stony silence. Khurram is up front with
the driver, doubtless to ensure that silence.
"I won't leave," I tell him in the check-in queue.
"Not even for Jasim?" he asks.
"Is she safe if I go?"
"Safer. I'll write to you."
"Are you safe?"
"Perhaps. If you go. I'll write."
It's enough to permit me to shake hands.
* * *
"Go up on the wall of Uruk and walk around,
examine its foundation, inspect its brickwork thoroughly.
Is not (even the core of) the brick structure made of kiln-fired brick,
and did not the Seven Sages themselves lay out its plans?"
The Epic Of Gilgamesh, Tablet I.
* * *
Before
Iraq Before The Storm
by Martin Aziz
Prologue
During the 1990s American planes operating in the Gulf managed to destroy a
nation. They bombed hospitals and schools. They bombed water purification
plants and electricity installations. They destroyed churches, bridges and
mosques. Don't take my word for it. Harvard University's fact finding
mission at the time will confirm it for you. Madeleine Albright will confirm
it for you. She was once asked whether US actions, particularly sanctions,
could be justified in light of the death of half a million Iraqi children,
and she said that they could.
Americans saw little of this. Yes, there were occasional media images of
sick children on the UNESCO campaign adverts, but that was about it. A
people were under siege, and the western conscience slept. What we did see,
we saw, in the words of the Egyptian poet Amal Donqol, through "a slit in
the wall."
With this book, that's the best I can hope for - to open up another slit in
the wall.
I'm an Arab American. I'm half-Iraqi. So if you're the kind of reader who
visualises yourself riding on a nuclear missile, waving your hat in the air,
stop now. I will not become one of your authors of choice.
I've visited Iraq on a number of occasions. And I was fortunate enough to
visit just before. well, what happened.
We all know what happened.
Whilst there, I fell in love.
I have a letter which says the woman I love is safe. It may be a lie. Within
the next few months, I hope to find out, but I don't know whether that will
be possible.
My intention in visiting on that last occasion was to produce a record of
ordinary life in Iraq, because I thought that ordinary life would disappear.
A historical document? A good friend of mine had hopes for that. But I don't
make such claims. Here is the book, and you must judge for yourselves. Now
it's done, it doesn't seem as important as it once did.
I'm sorry to say I have other things on my mind.
Martin Aziz, Paris, March 2004.
* * *
NOTES:
1. Gilgamesh was an historical king of Uruk in Babylonia, on the River
Euphrates in modern Iraq; he lived about 2700 B.C.. Many stories and myths
were written about Gilgamesh, some of which were written down about 2000
B.C. in the Sumerian language, on clay tablets which still survive The
tablets actually name an author, which is extremely rare in the ancient
world, for the version of the story used here - Shin-eqi-unninni. Maureen
Gallery Kovacs was the translator.
2. Enuma Elish (When On High), the Babylonian/ Mesopotamian creation myth,
was written no later than the reign of Nebuchadrezzar in the 12th century
B.C., but there is little doubt that this story was written much earlier,
during the time of the Sumerians. Henry Layard found within the ruins of the
library of Ashurbanipal in Nineveh texts that were not unlike the Genesis
creation in the Bible. George Smith first published these texts in 1876
under the title, 'The Chaldean Genesis'. The test is Akkadian written in the
old Babylonian dialect.
3. The Seven Evil Spirits was translated by R.C. Thompson in 1903.
4. The code of Hammurabi is the earliest legal code known to history. A copy
of the code is engraved on a block of black diorite nearly 2.4 m (8 ft)
high. A team of French archaeologists at Susa, Iraq, formerly ancient Elam
unearthed this block, during the winter of 1901-2. The block, broken in
three pieces, has been restored and is now in the Louvre Museum in Paris.
5. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon were situated on the east bank of the
River Euphrates, about 50 kilometres south of Baghdad. An observer at the
time described them as having "plants cultivated above ground level, and the
roots of the trees are embedded in an upper terrace rather than in the
earth. The whole mass is supported on stone columns... Streams of water
emerging from elevated sources flow down sloping channels... These waters
irrigate the whole garden saturating the roots of plants and keeping the
whole area moist. Hence the grass is permanently green and the leaves of
trees grow firmly attached to supple branches... This is a work of art of
royal luxury and its most striking feature is that the labour of cultivation
is suspended above the heads of the spectators."
6. The story of the boy and the sick king was narrated by Sadi of Shiraz and
is from, "Sadi: The Rose Garden" translated by Edward B. Eastwick.
--
"I shall hang the world around my neck
And walk
I shall adorn myself with innocent cities
And stroll in Wisdom
Buddhist Spartan Hindu Zoroastrian
Wounded, my heart is inundated with memory of the future."
Siham Jabbar, My Journey.
nativelaw
"Alaric" <alar...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:b3qsca$ivs$1...@knossos.btinternet.com...
> A SLIT IN THE WALL
> Copyright Alaric Paul McDermott 2003
>
> "Lo, I will bring a nation upon you from far, O house of Israel, saith the
> Lord: it is a mighty nation, it is an ancient nation, a nation whose
> language thou knowest not, neither understandest what they say."
> Jeremiah 5, Verse 15.
Alaric,
I can't crit this. All I can do is read.
You just blow my mind with this.
It is exactly the kind of book that I always swear I'll never read but I
read
this and can't put it down. You have a wonderfully engrossing style,
my friend. And it is timely and such great story.
Alaric's back, someone said, with a vengeance. I'll say. You're almost
scary.
Great job, Al.
Andrea
Huw Lyan Thomas
> A SLIT IN THE WALL
> Copyright Alaric Paul McDermott 2003
> Day 5
> How We Fight
> I've visited Iraq on a number of occasions. And I was fortunate enough to
> visit just before. well, what happened.
maybe seek a different way of phrasing that ending. This is a preface by
a professional journalist.
> We all know what happened.
>
> Whilst there, I fell in love.
whilst?
> I'm sorry to say I have other things on my mind.
Suggest: regrettably. He won't be sorry to say it.
>
> Martin Aziz, Paris, March 2004.
>
> * * *
>
> NOTES:
> 1. Gilgamesh was an historical king of Uruk in Babylonia, on the River
> Euphrates in modern Iraq; he lived about 2700 B.C.. Many stories and myths
> were written about Gilgamesh, some of which were written down about 2000
> B.C. in the Sumerian language, on clay tablets which still survive The
missing full stop
> three pieces, has been restored and is now in the Louvre Museum in Paris.
the Louvre, more usually
>
> 5. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon were situated on the east bank of the
> River Euphrates, about 50 kilometres south of Baghdad. An observer at the
> time described them as having "plants cultivated above ground level, and the
> roots of the trees are embedded in an upper terrace rather than in the
> earth. The whole mass is supported on stone columns... Streams of water
> emerging from elevated sources flow down sloping channels... These waters
> irrigate the whole garden saturating the roots of plants and keeping the
> whole area moist. Hence the grass is permanently green and the leaves of
> trees grow firmly attached to supple branches... This is a work of art of
> royal luxury and its most striking feature is that the labour of cultivation
> is suspended above the heads of the spectators."
is this accepted fact? I thought there was still doubt.
Excellent work, Alaric. You really pulled it together at the end. A
slow, careful build followed by a strong payoff. Though I tend to agree
with Mahdi (I think): best get it over, rather than make the country
continue to die the death of a thousand cuts, it still moved me
powerfully.
--
Huw
www.hexlibris.com
Alaric
"nativelaw" <l...@nativelaw.net> wrote in message
news:v655qkp...@corp.supernews.com...
>
> I can't crit this. All I can do is read.
> You just blow my mind with this.
> It is exactly the kind of book that I always swear I'll never read but I
read this and can't put it down. You have a wonderfully engrossing style,
my friend. And it is timely and such great story.
> Alaric's back, someone said, with a vengeance. I'll say. You're almost
scary.
> Great job, Al.
Whew. With you and Barry and Michael tonight, I'm almost tempted to submit
something. Thank you, my friend, from the heart.
Fraser
far the best I've read of your stories. While I was reading this, I was
thinking back on the novel extract you posted here quite some time ago - the
one with the Manc journalist and the murder scene - and comparing the
economy and pacing of both. You've come a long, long way. This was sparse
and addictive and just bloody good all round. The dialogue was outstanding,
the characters real, and there was that undefinable, professional aura of
authenticity about the whole thing. Even if the real Baghdad is nothing like
the one you described, I believed in the one you described. Only suggestion
I could offer would be trimming some of the history down to more manageable
proportions. Excellent work, Alaric.
Oh, and congratulations on the balanced view. I wish I could get the hang of
that!
Fraser
"Alaric" <alar...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:b3qsca$ivs$1...@knossos.btinternet.com...
Alaric
> I kind of want to pay you. Somebody ought to. I'll say this in preface:
I'm not against the probable war. Still. I'll just leave it at that. Even
so, I can appreciate an expertly crafted story when I read one. As engaging
as anything I've ever read on AFO. Even "The Cloak of War" by... oh, that
was you too. <g> It's kind of unfortunate that I can't help comparing it to
last year's excellent HBO movie "Live From Baghdad," which had some extra
gravity as it was a true story. But then "A Slit in the Wall" benefits from
NOT having a main character whose last name is Wiener.
Not seen the movie, Alec, but I'll look it out. Thank you for the real
compliment. "Cloak Of War," eh? My problem is I can only do the miserable
stuff <g>.
> I don't know. Bottom line: I read the whole thing in a sitting, with
donuts and diet coke turning it into kind of an mini-event for me, and I
wasn't let down. Far from it. I doubt I'd trust myself to attempt something
of this scope, and I'm nearly certain I'd fail if I tried. You're my idol.
Aw, shucks. G'wan widja. Aren't we due a new Bombardment Team?
> As long as you're writing 'em, Al, I'm reading 'em. And I look forward to
paying for 'em, some day.
If I can ever charge for 'em, Alec, you can have 'em free. Thanks, pal.
--
"There's a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
Leonard Cohen.
Alaric
>> This is a work of art of royal luxury and its most striking feature is
that the labour of cultivation is suspended above the heads of the
spectators."
> Is this accepted fact? I thought there was still doubt.
Er. . . I believe it. Ulp!
Excellent work, Alaric. You really pulled it together at the end. A slow,
careful build followed by a strong payoff. Though I tend to agree with Mahdi
(I think): best get it over, rather than make the country continue to die
the death of a thousand cuts, it still moved me powerfully.
Well, we'll disagree on that, Huw, but what we won't disagree on is the
nits, which again I've used. Thank you, my friend, for sticking with this
and all of the comments.
Alaric
by far the best I've read of your stories. While I was reading this, I was
thinking back on the novel extract you posted here quite some time ago - the
one with the Manc journalist and the murder scene - and comparing the
economy and pacing of both. You've come a long, long way.
Thank you. The journalist story was 20 years ago (so I was only three then -
ulp!) but AFO has certainly changed the way I approach fiction for the
better.
> This was sparse and addictive and just bloody good all round. The dialogue
was outstanding,
the characters real, and there was that undefinable, professional aura of
authenticity about the whole thing. Even if the real Baghdad is nothing like
the one you described, I believed in the one you described. Only suggestion
I could offer would be trimming some of the history down to more manageable
proportions. Excellent work, Alaric. Oh, and congratulations on the balanced
view. I wish I could get the hang of that!
Thanks again, Fraser. One ungrateful comment - heh - not really - to a
degree I've failed here, because the balanced view is a common reading. What
I really wanted was for people to think it was a balanced view but still
come out angry about the forthcoming war. Heh!
Anopheles
"Alaric" wrote:>
> What I really wanted was for people to think it was a balanced view but
still
> come out angry about the forthcoming war. Heh!
I certainly didn't see it as "balanced". I saw it as a well written,
interesting piece of fiction, but ultimately fiction. There is a deep
sympathy for the Iraqi people based on a small segment of the population.
The elite. This is at the core of the whole "peace" movement. Although I
admire their sentiments, it is basically an emotional argument and centres
on those Iraqis who will get hurt or killed in an invasion. What is not
considered is the hundreds of Iraqis being tortured daily and often being
killed. It doesn't take into account the Kurds in the north who have had
attempted genocide inflicted on them or the Sh'ites in the south, including
the Marsh Arabs who Hussein attempted to eliminate. All this on top of over
one million dead over the war with Iran.
To not do something about Hussein is to condemn many to further torture and
death. Is that in question? Sometimes surgery is necessary to prevent more
harm.
Having said that, I'll add this. No intervention is going to solve the
problem because ultimately the sore that festers and poisons the whole
system is the issue of a just peace in Palestine. Until a more equal handed
moderator is used, that will continue. The USA will be frustrated in any
effort to bring a democratic government to Iraq because the people are
Moslem and ultimately are bonded to their religious kin in Palestine.
Anopheles
Huw Lyan Thomas
> Having said that, I'll add this. No intervention is going to solve the
> problem because ultimately the sore that festers and poisons the whole
> system is the issue of a just peace in Palestine. Until a more equal handed
> moderator is used, that will continue. The USA will be frustrated in any
> effort to bring a democratic government to Iraq because the people are
> Moslem and ultimately are bonded to their religious kin in Palestine.
And there lies the heart of the problem. It makes the Irish Question
seem trivial :-/
--
Huw
www.hexlibris.com
Alaric
"Anopheles" <hi...@jeack.com.au> wrote in message
news:b45pn9$1sa1mt$1...@ID-34438.news.dfncis.de...
>
> To not do something about Hussein is to condemn many to further torture
and
> death. Is that in question? Sometimes surgery is necessary to prevent more
> harm.
I agree, if the US, UK (and Australia in this case) can fairly assume the
mantle of the world's policemen. If so, we need to be invading and looking
for regime change in at least 30 other countries simultaneously.
Alaric
The world's policeman thing. I said it wasn't necessarily wrong. But then -
it probably is. We spent 500 years forcing Christianity on the world. Now
it's democracy. Totalitarianism is a nasty word with only one Western
interpretation. Until we have world government, shouldn't nations make their
own judgements and/or mistakes? This isn't an Iraq post, BTW. Saddam's
murder of his own people takes Iraq out of the general point.
"Alec Reed" <yupayo...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:5RidnS6Rja-...@giganews.com...
> > > To not do something about Hussein is to condemn many to further
torture
> > and
> > > death. Is that in question? Sometimes surgery is necessary to prevent
> more
> > > harm.
> >
> > I agree, if the US, UK (and Australia in this case) can fairly assume
the
> > mantle of the world's policemen. If so, we need to be invading and
looking
> > for regime change in at least 30 other countries simultaneously.
>
> I remembered reading this post, and thought a quote from Thursday's press
> conference might be some good food for thought on the subject of US as
> world's policemen (slightly out of context, but it's hard to get the
context
> without copying the whole thing):
>
> GW said, "One of the things we love in America is freedom [yeah, I know,
> he's got a way with words]. If I may, I'd like to remind you what I said
at
> the State of the Union: Liberty is not America's gift to the world, it is
> God's gift to each and every person. And that's what I believe. I believe
> that when we see totalitarianism, that we must deal with it. We don't have
> to do it always militarily. But this is a unique circumstance because of
12
> years of denial and defiance, because of terrorist connections, because of
> past history."
>
> The "I believe that when we see totalitarianism, that we must deal with
it.
> We don't have to do it always militarily" part is what I wanted you to
see.
>
> The "unique circumstance" is a lot of what people are divided about, I
> suppose, but I think the quote shows that GW's at least got the right
> attitude about the world's policemen thing (unless you think he's full of
> shit).
>
> FYI, you can read the full transcript here (in addition to many other
> places, I'm sure, if you don't want to patronize FOX news <g>):
>
> http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,80492,00.html
>
> Really shutting up now,
> Alec
>
>
Alaric
"Alec Reed" <yupayo...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:ltOdneQZ3LD...@giganews.com...
>
> "Alaric" <alar...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> news:b4dqgq$jsc$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...
> > Good quote, Eric.
>
> Thanks, Erelic. <g>
>
> Alec
>
>
Amanda Tarr
> A SLIT IN THE WALL
> "You're on the 9:30 flight," he says. "Get packing."
Perhaps too much slang for a foreigner. "Please pack." or something?
The rest of the dialog is perfect. Fantastic, and I like that you leave the
mystery of why he had to leave open and realistic.
> Before
> Iraq Before The Storm
> by Martin Aziz
> Prologue
This is a book I would love to read.
Well, I certainly am impressed, Alaric. The greatest strength, technically,
in this piece is the dialog I think. It is always tension filled and pulls
the reader through while still being utterly realistic.
Maybe you wrote this as just a matter of the heart and aren't really
concerned with publication. It's a beautiful piece, and I think it should be
shared with as many people as possible, however. One thing, with a broader
audience.... sure, it's probably too late to make a change. Depressing.
However, one thing I notice over here with a lot of people in blind support
of the war (support is one thing, blind support another), is a true lack of
cultural, geographical, historical, and religious knowledge. You present a
lot of history and a bit of cultural, but there are a few details which
might need to be cleared to reach a larger audience with your message. An
explanation of Sufi-ism, for instance. Perhaps a few sentences explaining
the division with the Kurds (I'd wager 50% of americans don't know much
about it... unfortunately).. Of course, it may all be moot. The 50% that has
gone this far without educating themselves would probably not read something
like this anyways.
So I ramble.
Again, a stunning piece. Thanks for writing it.
Amanda
Alaric
"Amanda Tarr" <mandatarr@please_omit.hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:v6ndueb...@news.supernews.com...
>
And hello for number five.
> Perhaps too much slang for a foreigner. "Please pack." or something?
Yes.
> Maybe you wrote this as just a matter of the heart and aren't really
concerned with publication. It's a beautiful piece, and I think it should be
shared with as many people as possible, however. One thing, with a broader
audience.... sure, it's probably too late to make a change. Depressing.
However, one thing I notice over here with a lot of people in blind support
of the war (support is one thing, blind support another), is a true lack of
cultural, geographical, historical, and religious knowledge. You present a
lot of history and a bit of cultural, but there are a few details which
might need to be cleared to reach a larger audience with your message. An
explanation of Sufi-ism, for instance. Perhaps a few sentences explaining
the division with the Kurds (I'd wager 50% of americans don't know much
about it... unfortunately).. Of course, it may all be moot. The 50% that has
gone this far without educating themselves would probably not read something
like this anyways.
Absolutely. All good suggestions, Amanda. And thank you for catching one of
my primary concerns with the piece. Too many people are ignorant of the
history of the region, of claims to civilisation which date back so much
further than ours. Hence, "Let's bomb the savages." If there was one guiding
principle for me when I wrote this, it was to get the history across - it
was that aim which enabled me to tighten up on the piece and avoid
propaganda. As commonly said, though, I need to find a smoother way in some
places.
Thank you for all your help with this.