My favourite bits from the archive
Trevor
!Disclaimer! This is by no means a complete and incontrovertable account
of the radio shows of Nick Abbot. It is one extremely sad mans favourite
bits. Some of the info below may be on Andrew Ace's web page (http://www
.compura.org/explosion/ace), I didn't nick it! I contributed some of it
myself!
Section 1 - a brief history
Nick Abbot started his career as a flunkie in hospital radio, then as an
instore DJ at the Virgin Megastore in Oxford street. His first
broadcasting job was on Radio Luxembourg with "a less abusive, but more
childish" version of the show he would later host on Virgin 1215.
Nick remembers : "Basically, the whole idea was that it went out without
a seven-second
delay and, as soon as kids found out they could say 'f**k' on the air,
they did. I used to have my hand hovering over the kill switch. It was
almost a test of speed. I'd be cutting them off at the 'f' before the
'ck'. They got wise to it and would ring up and say, 'Oh great show
Nick, and f**k off!'"
Before he moved to Virgin 1215, however, he hosted the breakfast show on
GLR, before getting the sack for "being a grump sod". Then came the
launch of Virgin 1215 in 1993, where Nick had his first national radio
phone-in show during the 'graveyard shift', at 11-1am. In the early
months of the show, listeners had to call up an 0898 number. This, you
would think, would raise the standard of call to the show, unfortunately
the 'pondlife' quotient in those early months was considerable. Todays
bitz are from 1993 and are to be filed under PONDLIFE.
Caller : ..when you've finished work, at the end of the day, and you
want to put your feet up.... your 2 hour slot..erm..
Nick : "Please don't say 'slot' on this show, we're under a lot of
pressure..
Caller : "IT'S A SLOT!.. If [Richard Branson] is listening he should get
rid of you, you boring petty bastard!"
Nick : "Oh really! Yeah, okay, up yours! Was'nt she a nice lady?"
Caller : "I'd like to talk about cruelty to animals."
Nick : "Go ahead."
Caller : "erm.. well.. can't the government ban it?"
Nick : "Can't the government ban it? Okay, I'll see what I can do for
you."
Caller : "erm.. no, you know, Prince Charles an' all that huntin' foxes
an' things like that."
Nick : "Uh huh."
Caller : "Y'know, why can't they ban it? It's cruel!"
(silence)
Nick : "Right."
Caller : "..and Prince Charles, y'know, he was in the paper today
playin'.. er.. polo."
(silence)
Caller : "With 'edgehogs."
(silence)
Nick : "Really. What? the hedgehogs were the opposing team?"
Caller : "NO! He was 'itting the 'edgehogs with the polo stick!"
Nick (unimpressed) : "Really."
Caller : "It was in the paper today."
Nick : "Uh huh. What, for fun you mean?"
Caller : "I don't know. Well, he must have been enjoying it."
(Silence)
Nick : "Not the hedgehogs, though."
Caller : "The 'edgehog wasn't enjoying it, no."
(Silence)
Caller : "But y'know, surely they can ban this?"
Nick : "Absolutely."
Caller : "You reckon?"
Nick : "Absolutely, yes."
Caller : "Your show's SHIT."
Nick : "Thanks a lot mate."
Caller : "Ah! HA! HA! HA! HA!" (hangs up)
--
Trevor (not Trevor)