The return of the vengeful nerds...
Vladimir Makarenko
THE RETURN OF THE
VENGEFUL NERDS
By Mark Ames
In order to understand the "new realism" between Russia and
America, you've got to understand the psychology that under-pins the
ideology. Who are the Republicans really, and why do they seem to
derive such thinly-disguised sexual pleasure from their Bismarkabee
shtick.
I'm here to tell you why. The Republicans are the party of nerds.
If you understand that, then you understand everything about this
administration, its policy and its constituency. What we are witnessing
is not "new realism" but "new nerdism", a "revenge of the nerds" on an
Imperial scale. This is not a laughing matter. The thing about nerds,
as we at the eXile can personally attest, is that they are dangerous,
sick people. Sure they're funny and cute when they're spilling sloppy
joes on their plaid shirts or getting taped to the flag pole. But in
the adult world, nerds are a menace to civilization. They have no place
running anything beyond the borders of their bedrooms. Because nerds
respect nothing beyond the stale biscuit odor of their closets, and the
comforting urine scent of their mattresses. That is their only reality,
their only real friend. The only world that was ever accepting and
forgiving. The rest of this planet is hostile, horrible, unbearable.
Don't be fooled by nerds; as children, they pose as harmless, shy,
sensitive souls, but in reality, in the darkness of their minds, nerds
dream about administering concentration camps and conducting lengthy
interrogations using a variety of curved instruments. The scars of
teenage and twenty-something nerddom never heal, no matter how much
acceptance they may gain later in life. Richard Nixon is a perfect
example of this.
When they grow up, American nerds find that there is a great big
home for them. A political party that adulterates the fantasy-rhetoric
and collective unconscious of the nerd. That party is the Republican
Party. It is little more than an open-air asylum for perverts,
impotents, closet homosexuals, cross-dressers, born-again Christians,
chronic masturbators, Caucasian crackheads, pedophiles, rapists,
racists, Risk addicts, conspiracy theorists, fetishists - that, my
friends, is a snapshot of the Republican Party.... And I'm only on the
proverbial "letter A" of this alphabet of mental abortions. I should
know. I was a card-carrying Republican from 1984 until 1991. That was
an awful period for me, sexually and otherwise. After that things went
from troubled to horrific. Sometime around the Gulf War, I fell
completely off the sexual/political map. I became such an irredeemable
loser and deviant that no major political party could possibly
accommodate me. Not even a leper orphanage like The Republican Party. I
officially canceled my party membership and started getting seriously
into the idea of separatism. I was a party of one, ready to take up
arms in order to found a Republic of California. If only I could get
out of the bedroom I was living in at my father's, I was sure I'd
ignite an historic uprising... Blood would stain the beaches from
Mendicino to La Jolla. I had plans, baby. Plans.
Only over the past few years, thanks to the kind services of so
many well-meaning dyevushki, have my politics become more rational.
Well maybe not my politics, but at least my ability to judge what's
right, and separate that from what I'd like to see happen. That's what
distinguishes me from the common Republican. At least I know that I'm
not in any shape, mentally or morally, to run things.
Let's face it: in American politics, the Democrats are the only
healthy political party. Democrat supporters are, as a rule, healthy,
balanced people. With a lifetime of healthy, active sex lives under
their belts. That's why, at some visceral level, I hate the Democrats.
I can't help it. I hate them, I hate being around them, I hate watching
them and I could never in my life imagine voting for one. But I am
sober enough to understand that that is wrong of me.
People like Bill Clinton and Jesse Jackson and John F. Kennedy have
active sex lives; people like Nixon and Reagan dream of getting
urinated on while dressed in pink tutus and titanium- plated stiletto
heels - or worse, they dream of nothing at all.
Most of Hollywood, America's aristocracy, is Democratic. They're
Democrats because they've succeeded. Among them, only the most sexually
deviant entertainment barons (Marilyn Manson, David Lynch) are admitted
Republicans.
That Republicans can win elections only brings to light something
we at the eXile have been trying to tell you all along: The American
People are for the most part mental mutants, half-baked sex offenders,
wannabe degenerates. They are nerds without the guts to Dahmer their
way through life, so they vote for Republicans to vicariously Dahmer
for them. The previous three Republican presidents were snitches, that
ultimate nerd profession; the newest is merely a Son of a Snitch. They
steal elections, stain their mattresses with plans for missile shields,
invent enemies where none exist, and enjoy raping the environment of a
planet they abhor. For nerds and their Republican representatives,
there is no greater rush than raping Mother Earth, the matron of this
hellish world - every time a coral reef shelf dies, or a rain forest
disappears, the nerd thinks to himself, "The bitch had it comin'!"
Nothing gives a nerd-Republican more satisfaction than hearing Mother
Nature's healthy tree-hugging sons and daughters squeal.
Healthy people want everyone to get along. They actually enjoy
life, they think that God's Plan for us is pretty good. That's why the
Democrats' whole approach to Russia was to make them our friends. The
Republicans, on the other hand, could-n't score in a provincial
whorehouse, and they know it. They haven't engaged in healthy
missionary-position sex since the invention of the water closet, and no
longer care to either. So they've got a different agenda with Russia. A
nerd's agenda. It involves Risk-like geopolitical color-in-the-map
games, apocalyptic threats which they never intend to carry out,
weapons buildups and lots of reading and citing of other Bismarkabee
nerds like Henry Kissinger, Dmitri Simes and the like. They need to
scrape down a few levels into the dark recesses of their unconscious to
get a rise out of life. That's why for them, repressed hostility is a
desirable state of affairs. Hostility is a kind of S&M game, a B&D
party. It's the only narrative that inspires a Republican to get out of
bed.
Like it or not, the people who now run the foreign policy show in
the U.S. - degenerates like the alarmingly single Condaleezza Rice and
obvious urine fetishists like Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney (ever
wonder how his daughter became a turbo dyke!) - get off on the idea of
having a big bad enemy whom they know they can beat. Even more, they
love to hold press conferences in which they issue speeches which are
supposed to be menacing in their reserve. Since nerds tend to be
hysterical by nature, they dream of nothing more than scaring people
with unemotional, laconic threats. They enjoy threatening Russia with a
New Hostility just as much as sexually confident jocks like Bill
Clinton and Michael McFaul enjoyed the concept of a devoted, grateful
Mother Russia.
And what scary timing too, because the Republicans come to power
just as Russia's own King of the Botaniki has consolidated his
dictatorship. Putin is such an over-the-top botanik that it's hard to
believe he doesn't wear giant coke-bottle glasses with tape on the
bridge. Thank his wife for that - and for sticking him in those
ridiculous oversized blue boutique suits, one of the saddest attempts
to camouflage a nerd that modern man has ever witnessed. Just consider
Putin's nerd qualifications: he's a short, squeaky-voiced, chinless
despot who offered himself up as a snitch way back in high school,
starts a war his first day in office, flies around in a boss-o jet, and
awkwardly appropriates the language of authentically scary bandity
("we'll bust a cap up their asses while they're taking a dump!"). But
the biggest giveaway of all is Putin's lifelong obsession, the
obsession of all downtrodden nerds: karate. What nerd didn't take
karate? Or rather, what healthy, tall, sexually successful jock ever
did?
After millions of nerds wash through the human cycle, eventually it
was bound to happen that one karate-chopping twerp would seize control
of a nuclear arsenal. The scary thing is that now, he's squaring off
against an even more powerful force of twerps on the opposite side of
the Atlantic.
So this is it, the Great Nerd Showdown that every playground geek
dreamed of. The ultimate Revenge of the Nerds. Twerp Versus Botanik. No
matter what they say or do, remember one thing. Had a few girls just
been a little nicer to people like Rumsfeld, Rice and Putin, we would
never have found ourselves at this perilous moment in history. And come
to think of it, we would have never had this newspaper either.
N.D.
"Vladimir Makarenko" <mal...@bellatlantic.net> wrote in message
news:3A78E8AF...@bellatlantic.net...
Vladimir Makarenko
"N.D." wrote:
> That was awesome.
>
Funny - the only country Bush Jr. ever visited is Mexico.
VM.
Eugene Holman
<mal...@bellatlantic.net> wrote:
Not really. What countries beside the two Germanies and Finland did
Vladimir Putin ever visit before becoming president?
Regards,
Eugene Holman
Eugene Holman
If your daddy is head of the CIA>, vice-president, and then the
president who was one of the coordinaters the Gulf War, you just might
want to go easy on foreign travel.
And GWB Jr's lack of foreign travel is not all that unusual for the
leader of a large country. What countries besides the two Germanies and
Finland did Vladimir Putin ever visit (using his own identity) before
Vladimir Makarenko
Eugene Holman wrote:
> In article <3A7ABE11...@bellatlantic.net>, Vladimir Makarenko
> <mal...@bellatlantic.net> wrote:
>
> > "N.D." wrote:
> >
> > > That was awesome.
> > >
> >
> > Funny - the only country Bush Jr. ever visited is Mexico.
> >
>
> If your daddy is head of the CIA>, vice-president, and then the
> president who was one of the coordinaters the Gulf War, you just might
> want to go easy on foreign travel.
>
Will his daddy move with him to the WH to supervise? Don't be ridiculous,
Jr. was never interested in anything in spare time but BBQ in the back
yard. I doubt he often was out of Texas (other than Florida).
>
> And GWB Jr's lack of foreign travel is not all that unusual for the
> leader of a large country.
And that's bad.
> What countries besides the two Germanies and
> Finland did Vladimir Putin ever visit (using his own identity) before
> becoming president?
>
Why an identity is so important? And probably if he visited more countries
he'd know better how to manage.
VM.
>
> Regards,
> Eugene Holman
sia...@aol.com
Vladimir Makarenko <maka...@popmail.med.nyu.edu> wrote:
>
>
> Eugene Holman wrote:
>
> > In article <3A7ABE11...@bellatlantic.net>, Vladimir Makarenko
> > <mal...@bellatlantic.net> wrote:
> >
> > > "N.D." wrote:
> > >
> > > > That was awesome.
Subtle, but very good. ;)
> > > >
> > >
> > > Funny - the only country Bush Jr. ever visited is Mexico.
> > >
> >
> > If your daddy is head of the CIA>, vice-president, and then the
> > president who was one of the coordinaters the Gulf War, you just
might
> > want to go easy on foreign travel.
> >
>
> Will his daddy move with him to the WH to supervise? Don't be
ridiculous,
> Jr. was never interested in anything in spare time but BBQ in the back
> yard. I doubt he often was out of Texas (other than Florida).
Come on Vlad. Be nice... And Uncle Vlad ? Did he earn his way to the
top or was he sponsored ? I'm not a big supporter of Dubya, but at
least he was the Governor of Texas. Uncle Vlad's biggest achievement
was babysitting spies in east Berlin.
>
> >
> > And GWB Jr's lack of foreign travel is not all that unusual for the
> > leader of a large country.
>
> And that's bad.
True.
>
> > What countries besides the two Germanies and
> > Finland did Vladimir Putin ever visit (using his own identity)
before
> > becoming president?
> >
>
> Why an identity is so important? And probably if he visited more
countries
> he'd know better how to manage.
>
> VM.
If Uncle Vlad paid more attention to his own country as opposed to
others - he might be a better manager.
Vidas
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
Eugene Holman
<maka...@popmail.med.nyu.edu> wrote:
> Eugene Holman wrote:
>
> >
> > If your daddy is head of the CIA>, vice-president, and then the
> > president who was one of the coordinaters the Gulf War, you just might
> > want to go easy on foreign travel.
> >
>
> Will his daddy move with him to the WH to supervise?
VP Chaney, one of daddy Bush's close associates, will be doing a lot of
that. I'm sure that daddy Bush will be a frequent houseguest with
plenty of tips to hand on to his son. His son's best chance of becoming
a two-term president will be to ignore most of them.
> Don't be ridiculous,
> Jr. was never interested in anything in spare time but BBQ in the back
> yard.
Wrong. He is said to have once had a great and abiding interest in
consuming alcoholic beverages [which once got him arrested for DUI],
pulling off pranks [which once got him arrested], and snorting cocaine
[which never got him arrested].
> I doubt he often was out of Texas (other than Florida).
>
Wrong. GW's a graduate of Yale, meaning that he's spent four years in
the great state of Connecticut, which, being small, civilized,
cultivated, and extremely rich, is as diametrically different from
Texas as a state can possibly be. He certainly dropped by to visit mom
and dad when they were the inhabitants of the White House, evidently
being sufficiently impressed by the experience to want to have a whack
at it himself.
> > And GWB Jr's lack of foreign travel is not all that unusual for the
> > leader of a large country.
>
> And that's bad.
I agree. On the other hand, the fact that Bill Clinton had spent a year
in the UK and been curious enough to visit the USSR back in the 1960s
was generally regarded in the US as more of a political liability than
an asset.
>
> > What countries besides the two Germanies and
> > Finland did Vladimir Putin ever visit (using his own identity) before
> > becoming president?
> >
>
> Why an identity is so important?
I would rephrase the question - Why is an identity not so important?
If you are a major figure in the KGB, the last thing you want to do
when traveling is to make an impression or a leave a paper trail
traceable back to yourself. People who met Putin during his trips to
Finland said that he is a _ein Mann ohne Eigenschaften_, a person who
is as bland and forgettable as glass of water. We'll probably never
know if Putin was a secret world-traveler. We do know that before
becoming president, the foreign travel he is known to have had was
extremely limited. One plus for Putin, though, is that what his
pre-presidential foreign travel lacked in breadth, it made up for in
depth. He has a fluent command of German and an expert's command of
German culture and history, in this respect being the first Russian
leader since Lenin to have anything approaching a cosmopolitan
background. George W. Bush Jr. speaks (American) Spanish sell enough to
give a prepared, teleprompted speech, but I've never seen anything
indicating that he has any deeper appreciation for, or understanding
of, things Hispanic.
> And probably if he visited more countries he'd know better how to manage.
Probably. On the other hand, Germany is as good a country as any to
study if you are interested in macromanagement.
Regards,
Eugene Holman
Vladimir Makarenko
Eugene Holman wrote:
> In article <3A7B5120...@popmail.med.nyu.edu>, Vladimir Makarenko
> <maka...@popmail.med.nyu.edu> wrote:
>
> > Eugene Holman wrote:
> >
> > >
> > > If your daddy is head of the CIA>, vice-president, and then the
> > > president who was one of the coordinaters the Gulf War, you just might
> > > want to go easy on foreign travel.
> > >
> >
> > Will his daddy move with him to the WH to supervise?
>
> VP Chaney, one of daddy Bush's close associates, will be doing a lot of
> that. I'm sure that daddy Bush will be a frequent houseguest with
> plenty of tips to hand on to his son. His son's best chance of becoming
> a two-term president will be to ignore most of them.
>
Forget it - look what he is bastard doing: religious fanatic as attorney
general, cynical bitch as enviroment protector - who would just smile if you
cover the whole Alaska with oil spills, iron head general as state secretary
and another misantropic bitch as national security advisor. Dream team to screw
the US and the world up.
>
> > Don't be ridiculous,
> > Jr. was never interested in anything in spare time but BBQ in the back
> > yard.
>
> Wrong. He is said to have once had a great and abiding interest in
> consuming alcoholic beverages [which once got him arrested for DUI],
> pulling off pranks [which once got him arrested], and snorting cocaine
> [which never got him arrested].
>
Now he is respectable farther of two and the nation. Let's bet - his favorite
today IS bbq .
>
> > I doubt he often was out of Texas (other than Florida).
> >
>
> Wrong. GW's a graduate of Yale, meaning that he's spent four years in
> the great state of Connecticut, which, being small, civilized,
> cultivated, and extremely rich, is as diametrically different from
> Texas as a state can possibly be. He certainly dropped by to visit mom
> and dad when they were the inhabitants of the White House, evidently
> being sufficiently impressed by the experience to want to have a whack
> at it himself.
Texas is not geographic notion, it is a way to percieve the world.
>
> > > And GWB Jr's lack of foreign travel is not all that unusual for the
> > > leader of a large country.
> >
> > And that's bad.
>
> I agree. On the other hand, the fact that Bill Clinton had spent a year
> in the UK and been curious enough to visit the USSR back in the 1960s
> was generally regarded in the US as more of a political liability than
> an asset.
>
How it was regarded doesn't matter, my guess that it was important to build his
beliefs, and Clinton was one of best presidents the US ever had.
>
> >
> > > What countries besides the two Germanies and
> > > Finland did Vladimir Putin ever visit (using his own identity) before
> > > becoming president?
> > >
> >
> > Why an identity is so important?
>
> I would rephrase the question - Why is an identity not so important?
>
> If you are a major figure in the KGB, the last thing you want to do
> when traveling is to make an impression or a leave a paper trail
> traceable back to yourself. People who met Putin during his trips to
> Finland said that he is a _ein Mann ohne Eigenschaften_, a person who
> is as bland and forgettable as glass of water. We'll probably never
> know if Putin was a secret world-traveler. We do know that before
> becoming president, the foreign travel he is known to have had was
> extremely limited. One plus for Putin, though, is that what his
> pre-presidential foreign travel lacked in breadth, it made up for in
> depth. He has a fluent command of German and an expert's command of
> German culture and history, in this respect being the first Russian
> leader since Lenin to have anything approaching a cosmopolitan
> background. George W. Bush Jr. speaks (American) Spanish sell enough to
> give a prepared, teleprompted speech,
He had better worked on his English, than trying to impress Gonsalezes...
> but I've never seen anything
> indicating that he has any deeper appreciation for, or understanding
> of, things Hispanic.
>
> > And probably if he visited more countries he'd know better how to manage.
>
> Probably. On the other hand, Germany is as good a country as any to
> study if you are interested in macromanagement.
>
To get multidimensional picture of the world one need to go as many countries
as possible.
VM.
>
> Regards,
> Eugene Holman
Vladimir Makarenko
sia...@aol.com wrote:
> In article <3A7B5120...@popmail.med.nyu.edu>,
> Vladimir Makarenko <maka...@popmail.med.nyu.edu> wrote:
> >
> >
> > Eugene Holman wrote:
> >
> > > In article <3A7ABE11...@bellatlantic.net>, Vladimir Makarenko
> > > <mal...@bellatlantic.net> wrote:
> > >
> > > > "N.D." wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > That was awesome.
>
> Subtle, but very good. ;)
>
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > Funny - the only country Bush Jr. ever visited is Mexico.
> > > >
> > >
> > > If your daddy is head of the CIA>, vice-president, and then the
> > > president who was one of the coordinaters the Gulf War, you just
> might
> > > want to go easy on foreign travel.
> > >
> >
> > Will his daddy move with him to the WH to supervise? Don't be
> ridiculous,
> > Jr. was never interested in anything in spare time but BBQ in the back
> > yard. I doubt he often was out of Texas (other than Florida).
>
> Come on Vlad. Be nice... And Uncle Vlad ? Did he earn his way to the
> top or was he sponsored ? I'm not a big supporter of Dubya, but at
> least he was the Governor of Texas. Uncle Vlad's biggest achievement
> was babysitting spies in east Berlin.
>
O-la-la - are you saying that managing clandestine operations is a piece of
cake?
I don't know how successful was VP but in general it's demands neat skills.
>
> >
> > >
> > > And GWB Jr's lack of foreign travel is not all that unusual for the
> > > leader of a large country.
> >
> > And that's bad.
>
> True.
>
> >
> > > What countries besides the two Germanies and
> > > Finland did Vladimir Putin ever visit (using his own identity)
> before
> > > becoming president?
> > >
> >
> > Why an identity is so important? And probably if he visited more
> countries
> > he'd know better how to manage.
> >
> > VM.
>
> If Uncle Vlad paid more attention to his own country as opposed to
> others - he might be a better manager.
>
If other countries paid more attention to themselves rather than to Russia
then VP may be more busy with domestic affairs. And basically he is -
without regard - for better or worse.
VM.
sia...@aol.com
I'm sure the work wasn't easy. I wouldn't describe it as a honest
management position either - given the nature of the work VP had at
hand.
Nor did it involve much legislative or fiscal tasks - which shows.
I would have thought that Primakov has better potential than VP.