NWEKE NTIOBA
Maurice O Ene
young man, he bothered no one in the village -- if you ignore his annoying
stories. You see, Nweke considered himself a socialite. Fact is,
socialization is an expensive affair: to be socially relevant, you bring
something to the table. You cannot receive and never give; no, the ways of
the world work like a two-way street.
It was farming season in Igboland. Social events dry up at these times.
Nweke woke up one morning and decided to hang around the motor park. A
local driver asked him to be his mate for the day -- since the original
conductor was sick or something. Nweke arrived Enugu and waltzed into Afwia
Ogbete [Ogbete Market]. He picked up a fight, but the driver yanked him
away and took him back to the village. He complained to everyone in the
village how Nkanu butchers hated his criticisms of the number of vultures
in the market, how Nike women "chased" him, how the "mama-put" ladies
failed to understand his refusal to pay for a not-too-hot soup, how Tinker
was too disorganized, etc. Everyone shrugged. It was an Eke day --a holy
day dedicated to the Creator. Men who should speak up preferred to shut up
rather than say something offensive to Ani, the Mother Earth.
The next day was Orie; folks went to their farms. Village dude, Nweke
Ntioba, jumped into a Toyota Hiace heading to"Oye Abagana." A fare dispute
with the conductor settled, Nweke took over the peace of commuters and
annoyed everyone in the bus. That evening, he bored the tired villagers
with complaints. He said the tradesmen refused his offer to organize them
into a union; that he could have made them millionaires, if only they had
listened -- instead of saying he was not from Njikoka and therefore
suspect. Folks ate their food, drank their palmwine and let Nweke ramble on
like he was Charles Atlas on a mission to save the world.
Next morning, Nweke made a straight run to Nnewi with the first lorry out
of the village. Noisome and noisy, the engine exhaust smell drove Nweke
bunkers. Rested, he tried telling spare-parts dealers how to live their
lives. The first "boi boi" [apprentice dealer] told him to come back the
next day, Nkwo; that he would meet many people like him at Nkwo Nnewi ---
with over-bloated ideas about international affairs. So Nweke headed to Afo
Ufvume on the Oko-Umunze road. As usual, he picked up a fight with an old
man who would not let him take along his calabash of palmwine "to go get
change."
"You call me a thief?" he challenged the old man. "A whole son of a chief
in Udumotali?"
"I did not call you a thief, my son. Chief or thief, my palmwine is my
king!"
"This is an insult. A big insult!" Nweke turned to onlookers: "Don
Tony
Ina ekwu okwu dika onye ndi oki zuru! Owu nna gi muru gi.
Umu Igbo were nu anya dike ji ele oka chara acha lebara okwuo anya. Olu
Oguibe will normally say: "atuora wa ofeke, ofenye isi n'ofia." The rest we
all know.
Udo!
Ifeanyi